words in movies
MONICA: Who da wenny-Benny boy? You the Wenny-wenny-Benny-Benny boy, yes. Don't cry. Don't cry. Why is he still crying?
MONICA: That is so funny. Let me see that. (throws the ball out the window)
MONICA: All right, get your coat, we're going to the hospital.
CHANDLER: I was looking forward to playing basketball, but I guess that's out the window.
ROSS: Ok, well, if you do take him out for his walk, you might wanna bring his hat, and there's extra milk in the fridge, and there's extra diapers in the bag.
CHANDLER: Is he the one with the beautiful wife?
PHOEBE: Hey Rach, wanna hear the new song I'm thinkin' of singing this afternoon? I wrote it this morning in the shower.
PHOEBE: (singing) I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song. Stop me if you've heard it. My skin is soapy, and my hair is wet, and Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget.
CHANDLER: You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?
JOEY: It's gonna be worth it. It's a known fact that women love babies, all righ? Women love guys who love babies. It's that whole sensitive thing. Quick, aim him at that pack o' babes over there. Maybe one of them will break away. No, no wait, for get them, we got one, hard left. All right, gimme the baby.
CAROLINE: I assume we're talking about the baby now.
RACHEL: Come on, Terry, I'll even clean the cappuccino machine.
TERRY: You don't clean the cappuccino machine?
PHOEBE: Well you said that he's paying the people who are playing.
PHOEBE: Well, I'm not gonna be the only one who's not getting paid.
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. (Out on the sidewalk, singing) When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. (Someone puts a coin in her guitar case) Thank you! La la la la la la la....
ROSS: Well, there's no way I'm gonna get a shot. Maybe they can take the needle and thquirt it into my mouth, you know, like a thquirt gun.
MONICA: My brother, the PhD would like to know if there's any way to treat this orally.
MONICA: That's good, have a seat. Um, the doctor says it's gotta be a needle. You're just gonna have to be brave, ok? Can you do that for me?
CHANDLER: That's a good plan, Joe. Next time we wanna pick up women, we should just go to the park and make out. Taxi, taxi!
JOEY: Oh we're not out. No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys, hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doin' the usual straight guy stuff.
JOEY: Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. We live in the building by the uh sidewalk.
CHANDLER: Oh, that's good. Maybe he'll hear you and pull the cord.
BOTH: Stop the bus! Wait! Wait! Wait!
DOCTOR: No, it's just a good bone bruise. And, right here is the puncture wound from your ring.
PHOEBE: (singing) ... with the double double double-jointed boy. Hey. So um, are you the professional guitar player?
PHOEBE: Oh. Mine does. (singing) Stephanie knows all the chords. (makes a face)
JOEY: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again.
STEPHANIE: Thank you. I'd like to start with a song that I wrote for the first man I ever loved. (singing) Zachary.
CHANDLER AND JOEY: Hi. We're the guys who called about the baby. We left the baby on ths bus. Is he here? Is he here?
TRANSIT AUTHORITY GUY: He's here. (Chandler and Joey hug each other in relief) I'm assuming one of you is the father.
CHANDLER: Actually, uh, we're both the father. (Puts his arm around Joey)
CHANDLER: Hey, Ben, remember us? Ok, the mole came off.
CHANDLER: Oh, we're gonna flip for the baby?
CHANDLER: All right, call it in the air.
(on the sidewalk outside Central Perk)
PHOEBE: Eight dollars and 27 cents. But not really, 'cause I put in the first two, just to, you know, get the ball rolling, and to make myself feel better.
PHOEBE: It's not even that. I used to do my songs because it made me happy, but now it's like, it's just all about the money.
ROSS: Yeah. Hey, remember the time I jammed that pencil into your hand?
MONICA: Wait, what about the time I hit you in the face with the Silvian's pumpkin?
ROSS: Oh, man. Oh, remember when I stuck that broom in your bike spokes, and you flipped over and hit your head on the curb?
ROSS: I'm gonna get a new band-aid. Hey, how 'bout the time I cut the legs off your Malibu Ken?
JOEY: Oh, yeah, he rode the bus today.
ROSS: Ohhh. Big boy, riding the bus--Hey, I have a question. How come it says Property of Human Services on his butt?
STEPHANIE: Yeah. From the top?
PHOEBE: Ok, there is no top. That's the beauty of Smelly Cat. Um, why don't you just follow me?
Joey: Look, I told ya, Im not going to any clinic! I dont have a problem, youre the one with the problem! You should go to a "Quit being a baby and leave me alone" clinic!
PHOEBE: Thank you for coming everybody. There're cookies in the back.
JOEY: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
Chandler: Joe, I told you, you're just not right for the part.
Joey: Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but... what the hell are you talking about?! I mean, what about you?
Paul: What do you need from the car?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is at the counter drinking coffee as Elizabeth enters with her dad, Paul. Elizabeth goes to kiss Ross, but he just kisses her on the forehead. By the way Paul is played by Bruce Willis. Yes, that Bruce Willis from Moonlighting, Die Hard, and Armageddon.]
[later in the bathroom Monica is looking in the drawer, Rachel runs up]
Ross: Finally, factoring the profusion of new species recently discovered: Gigantosaurus, Argentinasaurus...
Monica: All right, we'll stay. We can just drive up after the party.
(They both leave just as Rachel enters the room, holding a cup.)
[Scene: The casino, Ross and Rachel are entering.]
Phoebe: You guys were right. Hes just too excited about everything. I mean Im all for living life, but this is the Gellers 35th anniversary. Okay? Lets call a spade a spade this party stinks.
MONICA: They love each other, and they wanna celebrate that love with the people that are close with them.
Rachel: Well yknow, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time theyre 40, they marry each other.
Ross: (answering it) Uh-oh, saved by the bell. (On phone) Hello?
Ross: Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I dont know any of it and Im the father. I wish Id be more involved yknow.
Rachel: No, no, no, you said, "got the keys".
Rachel: (To the woman sitting in front of her) He-he said Rachel, right? Do you think I should go up there?
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
ROSS: Oh my God. But the zoo told me that my monkey was dead.
Ross: I'm gonna use the cushion.
[Scene: The Wedding Hall, continued from earlier.]
Chandler: I don’t know what you mean, giant talking cigarette! Oh, by the way, Phoebe called just as I was getting into Nancy’s car, so if she asks you, I was at work all day.
Rachel: I dont know! (Pause) Im-Im kinda thinking it-it was the lobster
Ross: Pheebs, what, is it the age thing?
Chandler: Y'know what, I think this might be one of the times hes wrong.
Phoebe: Thats so funny to think if youd just done that right after the last contest, no one would have had to move at all.
The Food Critic: Im torn, between my integrity and my desire to avoid a beating. But I must be honest, your soap is abysmal. (Throws down the spoon and walks out.)
[Scene: Backstage at Joeys play, Joey is changing for the next scene as Kate arrives, carrying her bags.]
Ross: I know! (Looks at the ball in his hands.) Don't switch hands, okay?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Susie are making out on the couch.]
Woman No. 1: (looks into the box) Oh my God! What's wrong with your baby?!
Rachel: (gets up and opens the door) Hi Tag! What are you doing here?
Chandler: (thinking it over) Well, I did put a lot of thought in the tape. (They both run into the bedroom.)
(They all start laughing, and quickly stop when they realize what she just said and run over to the bathroom.)
Monica: (trying desperately to change the subject) So, Ross, what's going on with you? Any stories? (Digs her elbow into his hand.) No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks?
Rachel: Oh, come on now, dont keep me waiting. Get those clothes off! But, I would keep that helmet on because youre in for a rough ride! (He backs into the door.)
Chandler: Listen to me!! (Chandler turns him around and closes and holds the door shut with his feet.)
(She holds up a black t-shirt with "FBI - Female Body Inspector" on the front.)
Ross: (grabbing the car) Okay! Okay! Okay! (He gets in, but into the back seat.)
PHOE: Ok, all right, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like, was it like a soft brush against your lips? Or was it like a, you know, a "I gotta have you now" kind of thing?
Ross: Im sorry. But ah, hey, oh, somebodys off the phone, how bout a glass of wine by the fire, I could get it going again.
Monica: Hey. Its three in the morning. They dont know that Ive come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
Rachel: Ooh, Phoebes here! Okay, lets turn out all the lights and well just watch the movie!
Chandler: Oh, the tears are real.
Chandler: Well, of course I do! My good friend Joey over here. (Pats Joeys arm, Joey pats Chandlers shoulder, and Chandler motions for Joey to say the same about him.)
RACHEL: I know, I know, I know, I know. I was just thinking about when they were there the last time, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. OK, OK, look, woah, I promise, I'm good, I'm not gonna laugh anymore. OK put your hands back there.
Fireman #2: Well, we determined the cause of the fire.
Guru Saj: (entering) Hello, I am Guru Saj-(sees the duck)-Whoa!! (to Joey) Thats supposed to be a duck right? Cause otherwise, this is waaay out of my league.
Rachel: (breaking the hug) Uhh, hang in there?
Rachel: Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and I got fired from Ralph Lauren.
Man: Actually, Im here about the assistant job.
Kathy: (outside the door) No. (Chandler opens the door and they kiss again.)
Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) This is the last call for Flight 1066 to Athens. The last call.
Rachel: Oh, okay! (She goes to answer the door.)
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey is giving Chandler the bracelet from season 2.]
Joey: (He looks around the room) This isnt the right room, sorry folks. (leaves)
Chandler: (looks him in the eye) I'm not breaking up with her! (they stare at each other for a while, then Joey blows in his face)
[Scene: Back in the conference room in Tulsa.]
Ross: I think I know too but I've been really wrong about this stuff in the past, so...
(Gunther is eavesdropping in the background.)
[Scene: house next to the one the Bings are moving into. Chandler and Monica knock, a lady opens the door.]
Chandler: (To Monica) Wow! Listen, we had a good run. What was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! (He kisses her and starts to climb out the balcony window.)
Rachel: So. I just thought the two of us should hang out for a bit. I mean, you know, we've never really talked. I guess you'd know that, being one of the two of us, though, right?
JOEY: Chandler gave me word of the day toilet paper. I'm gonna get some coffee.
Chandler: Joey got meat sauce on the banister again! (He goes into the bathroom to wash his hands.)
RACHEL: Basically, there's the thing, and then there's the stuff after the thing.
Rachel: No, I stuff outside the bra.
Chandler and Phoebe: Yes! You mean the world the world to me. Oh...
Rachel: Hes downstairs getting the rest of the stuff out of the cab.
(Another professor walks down from the back of the lecture hall.)
Rachel: Ross? (to Joey) Can we just close the door?
Monica: I dont see him. Hey! Maybe hes in the sugar bowl! (Opens the sugar bowl) Joey? Nope! (Closes the sugar bowl and they both laugh.)
Phoebe: Okay, so its probably just the Ross thing then.
Monica: (coming back to the stage and sitting next to Chandler) Okay, Ive got some Ones, you wanna put them in her panties?
Joey: Because, Monica, the guys so good, and I really, really want this part.
(Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe back their chairs away from the table.)
Chandler: Well he doesnt have to know! Its not like we run in the same circles. I hang out with you guys, and he stars in a drag show in Vegas.
Rachel: Hello. I need to get on the 11 o'clock flight.
Ross: (to the rest of them) Yeah-yeah you guys. Get out of here!
Chandler: Okay. I cant believe tomorrows the big day.
Monica: Did the girl ever let you ride it?
[Ross goes to look in the magazine Rachel got her recipe from.]
[Cut to the girls apartment, Monica is putting things into her purse as Phoebe and Rachel watch.]
Rachel: Do you even understand what off the rack means?!
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, he talked to her, but she got on the plane anyway.
Monica: (chuckles) Hmm, well you're around me all the time and you don't flirt.
Phoebe: Hey the wedding is so close! Are you getting nervous?
Monica: He's in the bathroom. I don't think you wanna go in there!
Chandler: If that is your father calling to tell this story then the marriage is off!
Phoebe: Okay, yeah, I'll see you later! Don't forget about the moving in!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is in the kitchen as Joey enters from his bedroom.]
Phoebe: Ewww! Oh! Its the Mattress King!
Ross: Oh, well, when you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards, you know. (looks at Rachel) But, uh... look how happy she is. (smiles)
Chandler: Well, she is going to know that you stole the joke.
Joey: come on, come on, search your brain all right. it was (thinks) a certain amount of time ago, I was here you were here, we had sex (starts pointing out the places) here, here, here NOT there. Anything?
Joey: Yes! Yes!! And every time you look at it, I want you to remember that you are a good person. Okay, youve had the chance to cheat, and with me, but you didnt. And thats what this ring stands for.