words in movies
MONICA: Who da wenny-Benny boy? You the Wenny-wenny-Benny-Benny boy, yes. Don't cry. Don't cry. Why is he still crying?
MONICA: That is so funny. Let me see that. (throws the ball out the window)
MONICA: All right, get your coat, we're going to the hospital.
CHANDLER: I was looking forward to playing basketball, but I guess that's out the window.
ROSS: Ok, well, if you do take him out for his walk, you might wanna bring his hat, and there's extra milk in the fridge, and there's extra diapers in the bag.
CHANDLER: Is he the one with the beautiful wife?
PHOEBE: Hey Rach, wanna hear the new song I'm thinkin' of singing this afternoon? I wrote it this morning in the shower.
PHOEBE: (singing) I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song. Stop me if you've heard it. My skin is soapy, and my hair is wet, and Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget.
CHANDLER: You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?
JOEY: It's gonna be worth it. It's a known fact that women love babies, all righ? Women love guys who love babies. It's that whole sensitive thing. Quick, aim him at that pack o' babes over there. Maybe one of them will break away. No, no wait, for get them, we got one, hard left. All right, gimme the baby.
CAROLINE: I assume we're talking about the baby now.
RACHEL: Come on, Terry, I'll even clean the cappuccino machine.
TERRY: You don't clean the cappuccino machine?
PHOEBE: Well you said that he's paying the people who are playing.
PHOEBE: Well, I'm not gonna be the only one who's not getting paid.
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. (Out on the sidewalk, singing) When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. (Someone puts a coin in her guitar case) Thank you! La la la la la la la....
ROSS: Well, there's no way I'm gonna get a shot. Maybe they can take the needle and thquirt it into my mouth, you know, like a thquirt gun.
MONICA: My brother, the PhD would like to know if there's any way to treat this orally.
MONICA: That's good, have a seat. Um, the doctor says it's gotta be a needle. You're just gonna have to be brave, ok? Can you do that for me?
CHANDLER: That's a good plan, Joe. Next time we wanna pick up women, we should just go to the park and make out. Taxi, taxi!
JOEY: Oh we're not out. No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys, hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doin' the usual straight guy stuff.
JOEY: Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. We live in the building by the uh sidewalk.
CHANDLER: Oh, that's good. Maybe he'll hear you and pull the cord.
BOTH: Stop the bus! Wait! Wait! Wait!
DOCTOR: No, it's just a good bone bruise. And, right here is the puncture wound from your ring.
PHOEBE: (singing) ... with the double double double-jointed boy. Hey. So um, are you the professional guitar player?
PHOEBE: Oh. Mine does. (singing) Stephanie knows all the chords. (makes a face)
JOEY: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again.
STEPHANIE: Thank you. I'd like to start with a song that I wrote for the first man I ever loved. (singing) Zachary.
CHANDLER AND JOEY: Hi. We're the guys who called about the baby. We left the baby on ths bus. Is he here? Is he here?
TRANSIT AUTHORITY GUY: He's here. (Chandler and Joey hug each other in relief) I'm assuming one of you is the father.
CHANDLER: Actually, uh, we're both the father. (Puts his arm around Joey)
CHANDLER: Hey, Ben, remember us? Ok, the mole came off.
CHANDLER: Oh, we're gonna flip for the baby?
CHANDLER: All right, call it in the air.
(on the sidewalk outside Central Perk)
PHOEBE: Eight dollars and 27 cents. But not really, 'cause I put in the first two, just to, you know, get the ball rolling, and to make myself feel better.
PHOEBE: It's not even that. I used to do my songs because it made me happy, but now it's like, it's just all about the money.
ROSS: Yeah. Hey, remember the time I jammed that pencil into your hand?
MONICA: Wait, what about the time I hit you in the face with the Silvian's pumpkin?
ROSS: Oh, man. Oh, remember when I stuck that broom in your bike spokes, and you flipped over and hit your head on the curb?
ROSS: I'm gonna get a new band-aid. Hey, how 'bout the time I cut the legs off your Malibu Ken?
JOEY: Oh, yeah, he rode the bus today.
ROSS: Ohhh. Big boy, riding the bus--Hey, I have a question. How come it says Property of Human Services on his butt?
STEPHANIE: Yeah. From the top?
PHOEBE: Ok, there is no top. That's the beauty of Smelly Cat. Um, why don't you just follow me?
Mrs. Tribbiani: Why did you have to fill your father's head with all that garbage about making things right? Things were fine the way they were! There's chicken in there, put it away. For God's sake, Joey, really. (She gives the sofabed a tiny push and it folds away)
(She disgustedly takes the ring off and gives it back.)
JOEY: Phoebs, he's just a little dog. [turns back to the car window and the dog is halfway through it.] Ahhh.
Rachel: What if she jumped out the bassinet?
The Singing Man: Ill see you tomorrow morning!
[Scene: The Wake, at the Gellers' house. Ross is lying on his back, with Phoebe squatting over him, checking to see if he's injured.]
Rachel: Well (At a loss for words, she grabs some of Monica's laundry and throws it on the floor as a diversion to allow Rachel to run back inside and close the door. Monica chases her to find that Rachel had locked the door.)
Rachel: ...So a bird just grabbed it, and then tried to fly away with it and, and then just dropped it on the street?
ROSS: OK, got the music, got the dinner. Oh and check it out, I made Marcel's favorite dish, banannacake.
Phoebe: Lets see. (Looking at the picture) Oh my God! Oh But no! No! You cant-you cant hire him, because thatits not professional. Umm, this is for me (The picture) yes? Thanks. (Puts it in her pocket.)
Rachel: Ross, you got that for free from the museum gift shop.
Ross: Hey! I did not dump Rachel! (To Mona) Nor are we still together. (The phone rings and Ross goes to answer it, only hes trapped behind the apothecary table by Dr. Green.) Can I just (Dr. Green glares at him.) Why dont we just let the machine get that?
Joey: And-and theres no danger to her and the baby?
(Ross gets out of the bathroom, sees Chandler)
Phoebe: Whoa!! He is soo unreasonable! God, although I think I understand what he means. Oh my God, this is like 60 Minutes, okay, when, when, at first youre really mad at that pharmaceutical company for making the drug and then y'know you just feel bad for the people because they needed to make their hair grow.
Monica: Okay, I got my note cards. (To Chandler) Do you got the presents?
JOEY: Alright, well next time you take a shower, think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.
Joey: Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!
Roy, the male stripper: (coughs) Whoo, that's a lot of stairs!
Lauren: You know! At the place I told you about last night?
Rachel: I dunno.. I-I thought it looked better there. And I- and also, it's an extra seat around the coffee table.
Monica: Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs. (Laura looks shocked)
MR. GREENE: I'll never remember all of that. So uh, what's the deal? Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff, is that it?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler is still leaning against the door, keeping Joey out, who is still banging and shouting on the other side.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Rachel is entering as Ross comes out of the kitchen carrying popcorn.]
Joey: So you're gonna have to do it in the mess!
Joey: No! No! No Pheebs, Im not gonna yell at you. I just yknow, started thinking about you and David and I remember how bummed you were the first time he left. And I just Oh Pheebs, come here. (He hugs her.) Are you okay?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel has just gotten home and is going through the mail. She finds something that's Monica's and goes over and knocks on her closed bedroom door.]
[Scene: The Class; Monica has taken Rachel's spot.]
Joey: Alright, alright, hey yknow fair is fair, (he pretends to wash his hands) if youre right, youre right, what can I say, but hey oh no! (He throws water on the guys pants)
Rachel: Well, I wouldn't know because I got so freaked out that I hung up the phone.
Ross: Because I am bored...Out of my mind. Ive already been to the bank, post office, and the dry cleaners.
Chandler: Because she's not eleven! And it's not the seventh night of Hanukkah!
Rachel: Oh-oh, Pottery Barn! (Grabs the aforementioned catalog and holds the rest back out to Chandler.) You can throw the rest away.
Ross: No! No! I want to talk now! Okay? IIn fact, (picks up the phone) I am going to talk to the president of the condom company!
Richard: Actually, Im not here to complement the chef.
Will: Thats right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club!
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
Lauren: (answering the door) Vic! Where have you been, baby?!
(Ross notices that Paolo is standing on a step, which makes him taller. Ross gets up on the same step so he can look down at Paolo.)
Ross: Hey you guys I got some bad news. (He sets the stack of papers down on the table.)
Monica: I had to go with the odds Rach.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma has fallen asleep in her playpen, and Chandler has fallen asleep right next to her on the floor. He's even sucking on a pacifier.]
Joey: Yeah, I saw her this morning walkin it by the park.
[Scene: Street, Phoebe is being followed by some guy, as they pass a flower vendor. Phoebe turns around and the guy quickly picks up some flowers and continues following her.]
Rachel: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah... (she plays the answering machine)
Rachel: Hello! (She makes a face and the kid laughs harder. Finally, his parents drag him off.) Ohh, kids love me.
Chandler: (on phone, reading from a script) Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine... Give me a call when you get a chance. (Rattles some dishes) Bye-bye. (Hangs up.) Oh God!
Joey: (grabbing the candy bar) Yeah Ill take that.
Joey: Oh hey whoa-whoa, dont worry. Okay. When my sisters were pregnant they got every weird feeling in the book, it was always nothing.
Rachel: Oh, okay. Uhh, well lets see. (Grabs his hand.) Youre aboutwell uh, this one is large. And this one(Grabs the other hand.)
Joey: (disappointed) Oh... oh, but that's ok, I'll find someone else to do it... I'll do it alone, but... I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you...
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
(There is a loud knocking at the door through which Joey has just entered.)
Gunther: ...and after youve delivered the drinks, you take the empty tray....
Chandler: Well apparently Albert has no friends. He's very excited about the bachelor party though. I think actually the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper.
(Phoebe jumps on to the table and lays down, Ross follows her and hits his head on the light hanging over the pool table.)
Rachel: (checking the speed dial) All right, first name on the speed dial is mom.
[Scene: Mike's parents house. Dining room again. Both Mike and Phoebe are not at the table, but the others still are.]
(They disappear into the bedroom leaving Ross standing in the living room holding Susans coat.)
Rachel: (opening the door) Hi Daddy.
Chandler: You can be the best man when I get married.
Rachel: Oh my God! The millionaires here!
Joey: Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything unless you were okay with it. And clearly..
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Phoebe: (singing) Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel!
Joey: Pheebs! Youre blocking the porn! Look out!
Rachel: Shhh! I want to hear the rest!
Chandler: Yknow you, really didnt have to take me to the airport.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, there is lumber all over the apartment]
Rachel: Hey, so you guys, the funniest thing happened, at work...
Monica: They all came from the list you handed out to us two weeks ago.
Phoebe Sr: No, no, thats just Chuck Magioni, I-I sold him a house last year! And Im very sorry, but I dont know where your Father is, and thats the truth.
Ross: Oh yeah, how about you and the, (mimics her fake cry) "Im sorry!"
The Casting Director: Actually, that can't happen. Yeah because you all have such different looks, we're putting you with Raymond and Kyle with Ben. So it'll be either you two (Points to Joey and Raymond) or you two. (Points to Kyle and Ben.) (Exits.)
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Kims waiting for it. The door opens and Rachel is inside.]
Joey: Bob? Who the hell's Bob?
Ross: (reading the newspaper) Hey, heres a question; where did you guys get the finest oak East of the Mississippi?
Ross: (to the woman checking her mail next to him) Hey!
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
Monica: Well, at least you have one thing to be happy about. That jerk Gavin from your office didn't show up (Gavin shows up at the balcony windows).
ROSS: I'll take that dad. [grabs the bat]
CHANDLER: (pause) Well, you're forgetting about the time difference.
Ross: Well, ahem... you know, by the time we'd finished with all the dirty talk, it was kinda late... and we were both kind of exhausted, so uh...
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; Joey returns carrying a bucket of chicken, and starts going through the mail. While doing this, Monica's picture falls out. He bends over to pick it up and gasps. While he's staring at the picture, Rachel decides to come over and sees him looking at the picture.]
CHANDLER: The spoon. You licked and-and you put. You licked and you put.
Chandler: So, hows the hideously inappropriate crush on Rachel coming?
David: ...it's uhm... i-it's two on each cheek and uhm... and one on the lips.
PHOEBE: No. You are the boss of you. Now you march your heinie in there and get that heart tattooed on your hip. GO!!
Chandler: (walks up to the Maitre d') Excuse me...
Phoebe: Ohhh... Sure, yeah... (disgustedly dropping the cardigan back into the bag) ..okay, it fits.
Mona: Hey its Mona! From the wedding.
Rachel: (She turns around very slowly, looks at him for a second and then turns back to her coffee) Sure. (She gives him the cup she was pouring for herself without looking at him)
Rachel: Now Joey, what did the duck do?!
Chandler: Get ready to run. (Chandler walks over to the new bride.) Congratulations on your wedding. (He grabs her, kisses her, Ross takes the picture, and they both run out.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is sitting at the counter reading a magazine as the phone rings.]
Young Ethan: You know, you read about it, you see it in the movies. Even when you practice it at home, man oh man, it is nothing like that.
Rachel: Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean its like every guy I seeI mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean normally thats not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the way Im feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Joey: Hey, finished my recommendation. (he hands it over to Chandler) Here. And I think you’ll be very, very happy. It’s the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.