words in movies
Chandler: (watches Joey for a moment) Okay! (Joey quickly moves the hockey stick so that hes scratching his back with it.) Listen, Im gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent.
Chandler: First of the month.
Chandler: No, just the months you actually want to live here.
Chandler: Okay, here is the phone bill. (Hands it to Joey.)
Chandler: Okay uh, heres the electric bill. (Hands it to him.)
(Joey runs over and shuts off the lights.)
Chandler: So, well do the rest of the bills later then?
Phoebe: So is Joey going to have to give up the apartment?
Chandler: Well that would help the pride thing.
Monica: Well, instead of being sad that tonight is my last night together with Rachel we thought wed go out to dinner and celebrate the fact that Rachel is moving in with Phoebe.
Phoebe: Hey! So you guys have anything planned for the big last night?
Monica: All right, Chandler can make boxes, Ross can wrap, and Joey can lift things. Now Phoebe, go tell the guys they have to help out!
Phoebe: Hurry! Monicas gonna make you pack! Shes got jobs for everyone! Now, its too late for me, but save your selves! (The guys scramble for the door.)
Monica: (entering and interrupting the guys escape attempt) Okay! The movers will be here in 11 hours. Rachel has not packed. Now, everybody has to help! Chandler, were gonna start with
Chandler: Yes, but for the last time.
Ross: (to the guys) I gotta go make a fake Ben.
Joey: Oh thats okay. Hey, actually in a way its kinda nice. Me, bringing the food of my ancestors, you, the food of yours!
Chandler: Okay, lets play! The big game, Italy vs. China, apparently.
Rachel: Ohhhhhh, look its the roller blades.
Phoebe: You guys, we said we were gonna have fun! Come on, hey, remember the time (She starts laughing hysterically.) You dont remember?
Phoebe: Well, this doesnt have to be so sad though. Yknow? Maybe instead of just thinking about how much youre gonna miss each other, you should like think of the things youre not gonna miss.
Rachel: Uh well, I guess Im not gonna miss the fact that youre never allowed to move the phone pen. (Laughs. Monica lags behind the laugh a little bit.)
Phoebe: Good thats a good one. Okay, Monica, anything? Yknow? Does Rachel move the phone pen?
Monica: Not just the phone pen. I never get my messages.
Monica: Yeah, well I dont think it really counts if you have to read them off the back of your hand after you fall asleep on the couch.
Joey: (scores) Yes! I win again! Ha-ha! Thats like 500 bucks you owe me! Whoo-ho-hoo! (Goes over to the fridge and starts opening and closing the door rapidly.) $500 that is a loooot of electricity! (By the way, theres nothing in the fridge.) Whoo-ho-ho! (Notices the sparseness of the fridge.) I gotta buy some food.
[In slow motion, as some haunty demonic music plays in the background, Joey throws the ball in, Chandler quits playing and goes for his Chinese food. Joey smacks the ball really hard, shooting it down the table. Chandler slowly takes a bite, the ball bounces off of the wall, heads back up the table, and scores the goal for Chandler.]
(In frustration, Joey kicks the table, breaking it.)
Chandler: See? Now, thats why only the little fake men are supposed to do all the kicking.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone rings and Monica answers it as Rachel and Phoebe move a box into the living room.]
Ross: Ben, say hi to Aunt Monica. (He holds the phone to the fake Ben he has created out of a pumpkin.) Oh, I guess he doesnt feel like talking right now. Hes smiling though! Okay, talk to you later.
Phoebe: Yeah, I think it was better when you guys were sad. Hey, uh, remember the roller blades?
Rachel: You know what else Im not gonna miss? "Im Monica. I wash the toilet 17 times a day. Even if people are on it!"
Rachel: "Oh my God, I cant find a boyfriend! So I guess Ill just stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find in there!"
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is examining the broken foosball table as Chandler enters from his room.]
Joey: This sucks man! The last night youre here and I lose the two most important things in my life, the foosball table and $500.
Phoebe: Well, one of you has to take the first step! And it should be you, because shes the one whos leaving. Its harder for her!
Monica: It needs to go about 20 blocks to the left!
Rachel: Hey, yknow what? Youre the one who wants to make this big change and move in with Chandler! You should be the one to go! Why should I have to leave?!
Monica: How about, youre moving!! (Grabs a bunch of clothes and throws them into a box. What follows is a brief sequence of Rachel unpacking and Monica packing the same stuff over and over again as Rachel chants "No." and Monica chants "Yes.")
Rachel: Look! This is ridiculous. We should be packing you!! (She knocks over Monica, grabs a box, and runs into the kitchen.)
Rachel: Oh really?! Then how come all your stuff is in this box?! (Monica starts chasing Rachel around the table.)
Phoebe: Then keep running. (They resume the chase.)
Joey: Uh, (counts the money) wow, 700.
Chandler: Hey, I didnt make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Dont get to excited because thats not gonna happen unless you getNo way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card wouldve won. Chandler pays him.)
Monica: Well, this is the last box of your clothes. Im just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"
Rachel: Funny, because I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler.
Monica: Do you wanna live outside?! Because its gettin cold! (To Phoebe) She gets tons of catalogs and umm, shell fold down the pages of the things she thinks that Id like.
Monica: When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror.
Phoebe: Thats nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
Monica: When I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket.
Monica: Kinda. (She hugs Phoebe and looks out the window. She moves closer to it to get a better look.) Oh my God!
[Cut to Rosss apartment, hes watching TV and eating some popcorn as the phone rings.]
Ross: (answering the phone) Hello? (Listens) Hey Mon, hows the packing going? (Listens) Ben? Hes fine. Yeah, hes rightOh my God! (He looks over at the fake Ben and notices that the head has fallen off.) Get your head of your shirt there son! (He tries to push the pumpkin through the neck hole.) What? (Listens) Yeah, its a pumpkin. Ill come pack.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (Ohh, thats the last time Im ever gonna type that line. Its just so sad.) Joey is entering, angrily.]
Joey: Ross and I were helping the girls pack, took a little break, I lost $1,500 to him in Cups!
Joey: The same way you lost. I started out with a King and a Queen, bamn! Ross gets a 2 and a 3. Then I get a Jack and a King, boom! Ross gets a 4 and a 5! Ross was getting the Cup card, the D-Cup, the Sittin Down Bonus! Meanwhile, I didnt even get half a cup! Nothin!!
Joey: No, no, no more! I cannot lose another dime! Im serious this time! In-in fact, look, theres aI wanna give you something. And let me give it too you know before I pawn it for Cups money. (He rolls the big white dog over) Now, I want you to have the big white dog as a kinda of a, yknow, thank you for being such a great roommate.
Chandler: I cant take the big white dog! You love it!
Joey: Over there! (Points to the couch) Before, with the bills! You tried to give some charity, I said "No," you dropped it. Okay? Then we had a nice last night together, we had some fun, we gambled, nobody tried to give anybody any money! Now out of the blue, you start with the charity thing again!
Joey: I will be okay! Look Chandler, you gotta get it out of your head that I cant take care of myself. Okay? Look, Im not gonna miss you helping me out with money. The only thing that Im gonna miss is you. And now the dog.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
(They break the embrace.)
(Monica closes the door and slowly walks into Rachels old and now empty room.)
Monica: What the hell is that dog doing here?! (She notices the dog sitting in the living room.)
Chandler: I invented the game of Cups as a way to give Joey money.
Ross: Chandler, what kind of an idiot do you take me for? (As he picks up the fake Ben.)
Chandler: Okay! Now I assume the Saucer card came up when you played last.
(Rachel opens the trash chute, winces at the smell, and throws the garbage bag in. She then tries to throw the pizza box in, but since its so big she jams it into the opening and it prevents the door from closing. She then turns around too see Mr. Treeger watching her.)
(She frowns.� Chandler picks up the hand set.)
The Dry Cleaner: No! It dont go up on the wall!
(The fourth word is soda)
Rachel: Right. Was it the, "Please dont show me another picture of a trilobite vibe?"
[Scene: At Pyramid. Joey is with the woman now.]
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
(They all go into the kitchen. Just then, Rachel comes back from the bathroom; she had removed her dress and is wearing nothing but a lace nightie. She tries to find someplace seductive to wait for Joshua. She tries to sit on the piano, but it makes too much noise. So she goes over to the couch and kinda half lays down to wait for Joshua. Joshua comes in from the kitchen, sees Rachel, and freezes.)
Joey: Yeah! (Monica goes in the bedroom.) Yknow, she could use a little (Whistles that she needs to do what theyre doing.) (Something happens on the game.) Oh nice shot!!! (They all cheer.)
[Cut to Rosss apartment, he his playing the Bagpipes, badly. Hes worse than that whole keyboard thing a few years ago.]
Mike: (gets up) Joe, I love Phoebe. She's the single most important thing in my life. I'd die before I let anything happen to her.
Helena: Before we go on with the show, I just want to say to the bride and groom how lucky they are to have found each other. In every life, a little rain must fall. Fortunately, in my life (Four guys wearing rubber boots, shorts, hats, and nothing else carrying umbrellas run onto the stage.) (Singing) Its raining men!
[Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. The triplets are now sleeping on top of each other on the couch.]
Ross: Yeah!!!! Yes, I made it! Im on time! (Grabs a bottle of water from a student, takes a drink, and splashes some on his face like the marathon runners do.) Okay, why dont we all uh, (Exhales loudly) open our books to page 23. Where (Exhales again) Where you will see a uh a bunch of uh red spots. Okay, (Closes his book.) umm, why dont, why dont you all start to read, while I(Passes out and collapses.)
Monica: Oh my God, I wrecked your baby!! (runs into the bedroom)
Joey: Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown Im trying to win her over, so I was wondering if..
Phoebe: Oh God, this is turning into the worst wedding day ever! The bride is pregnant. The groom is missing. And Im still holding this. (She throws the test back into the trash.)
Ross: With the circus? He's behind the elephant.
Monica: Who? I mean have you seen a car come by here in the last hour and a half? I think we should call Ross, maybe he can get a car and come pick us up.
Joey: I can do that! (in a deeper voice) "Hello, I'm your professor. When I'm not busy thinking of important things or... professing. I like to use..." Oh, what's the product?
Rachel: (jerks back from the tester) What?!
Rachel: (laughs and pushes the chair back in) Yeah, well, y'know umm No honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them, but I think the way you do it is y'know you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation, then you ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your existing friends!
[Scene: Pauls Cabin, Paul and Rachel are sitting on the couch drinking wine and talking.]
Monica: Is that the one that speaks English or the one that doesn't?
Joey: Ah, yes, The Plan! (Laughs loudly again, but he sounds more like Santa Claus.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Lets do that!! That-that sounds good. We should sit down and talk, just me, my lover Carol, and the Stings. Umm, how-how will I get in touch with them?
Chandler: Yeah, the last six weeks. I wanted this to be a moment you will never forget.
Chandler: (To a woman who he has clearly just met) And then the peacock bit me. (Laughs) Please kiss me at midnight. (She leaves)
(She is pushed down the stairs and everyone cheers.)
Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know? I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her...
Kate: I dont know! I just, just do this! I-I always have to pick the like the smartest guy, or-or the most talented guy Why cant I just pick someone like you?
Joey: I like that! (To Phoebe) Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! (He swiftly rips open the front of Phoebe's dress revealing her bra.)
Chandler: Yknow sometimes the good ideas are just right in front of you, arent they?
Rachel: (Tapping the clipboard) well, now, wait a second, who did I just put as my "In case of emergency" person?
PHOEBE: Well, you kind of just did.� That guy is going to call you tonight.� Ross is going to pick up the phone and that's a pretty clear message.
The Teacher: Are you just repeating what I'm saying?
ROSS: But wait, there's more. Hey, Chandler, what is in the envelope?
Monica: Oh, how do you play the shadow game?
Ross: With the belly-button ring? Oh, muhawa!
CHANDLER: No, the thing was, we were gonna go see Hootie and the Blowfish.
Joey: A little uh, good deed for PBS and a little TV exposure, now that's the kind of math Joey likes to do!
[ Scene: The freeway. Rachel is driving Monica's Porsche, while using her mobile phone. Ross is sitting next to her.]
(They start making out and both start to feel something growing below the belt line.)
Phoebe: This is fashion?! (Grabs the coat from Rachel.) Okay, so to you, death is fashion?! That's really funny. (She puts the coat on and starts to model it.) Here's Phoebe umm, sporting uh, y'know, cutting edge hairy carcass from y'know, the steal traps of wintry Russia. I mean, you really thing this looks good? (Sees herself in the mirror.) 'Cause I do.
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Monica: (to the boots) Bye bootsWait! Half off?! (Chandler runs off.)
Chandler: So Ross, how was your date the other night? Did you tell her about the magical ride that starts with the flush of every toilet?
Ross: Well, Im sure theyre still somewhere here in the hotel. Ill-Ill help you look for them.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, time lapse, Ross is massaging out a cramp on Rachels hip as Marc opens up the privacy screen.]
Monica: We're Aunt Monica and uncle Chandler, by the way. You may not recognize us, because we haven't spoken to your parents in seventeen years!
Rachel: (pause as she realizes her lame attempt to shift the blame has failed) I am so hot for you right now.
[A guy is sitting at his desk and his boss comes in and drops a huge pile of papers on his desk. The guy looks dejected.]
[Scene: The church where Ross and Emily are to be married. Judy, Andrea, and Monica enter together.]
Monica: (Offering Ross the skull) Licorice?
Chandler: He's probably in his room with his current girlfriend Charlie. That's the situation as we know it... (walks to Phoebe and Monica)
Chandler: Shhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! (Walks backwards towards the door) I cant, I cant hear you. (He runs out)
The Potential Roommate: String?
CHANDLER: [walks over to the woman] I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
Phoebe: (hides her mouth behind the cup and speaks in the "pigeon voice" from before) Coo, again. Don't blame the pretty lady. It was not her fault. It was me, the pigeon, coo! (pause) Seriously, stop staring at her.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Rachel are eating spaghetti in the living room while watching TV and Rachel drops some on the floor.]
Joey: Hey Ross! The babys kicking!
Ross: Yeah, obvious beauty's the worst. You know, when it's right there in your face. Me, I like to have to work to find someone attractive. Makes me feel like I earned it.
Chandler: You guess I'm right? When we stayed at that bed and breakfast, you wouldn't have sex with me because you thought a deer was staring through the window.
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck as The King's (Elvis Presley to the yougin's) Viva, Las Vegas begins to play. Sing along with me now, "Viva! Las Vegas! Vivaaaaaa! Vivaaaaa! Las Vegassssss!!" Fade to Black.)
Chandler: Come on! I was there! (He's propped up with his hand on a statute of a naked guy. He winces and pulls his hand away.) I know he's the love of your life.
Rachel: Ross, tonight was about the two of you getting along. (Ross groans and rubs his neck) Oh, would you just see my chiropractor, already.
Joey: This is the unit for you my friend. Sturdy construction, tons of storage compartments, some big enough to fit a grown man.
Frank: We were having lunch. Yeah and then all of the sudden we were like, "Hey! Y'know, were here, having lunch lets get married!
Joey: Well no, not yet. He's calling everyone on her side of the family hoping that someone will help him get in touch with her.
Joey: No! No, no you can't quit! You're the best agent I ever had! Look Pheebs, rejection is part being an actor, you can't take it personally.
Chandler: Well, in spite of the yummy bagels and palpable tension, I've got pants that need to be altered.
(The waiter arrives with their deserts)
Ross: No, wait ! You guys, no, no, you can't leave! Rachel already feels bad that the cake's messed up. How do you think she's gonna feel when she comes back here and all you guys are gone?
Ross: That's right, I.. 'cause I didn't expect you were gonna invite them to the apartment!
Ross: Fine! Yknow what? It doesnt matter, because, if I remember correctly, there is a comb on the floor of the bathroom.
Monica: All right then. (He leans in to kiss her goodnight, but she quickly kisses him on the cheek and pats his shoulder.) Bye.
PHOEBE: I'm just gonna pass on the concert, 'cause I'm just not in a very Hootie place right now.
Doug: Bing! Ho! And the Bing-ette!
Joey: Yeah, you'd think I'd give up being a minister and start paying to ride the subway? Huhuh...
CHANDLER: Our trains are on the same track, ok? Yeah, sure, I'm coming up 30 years behind him, but the stops are all the same. Bitter Town. Aloneville. Hermit Junction.
Joey: Hey! Mine was by accident! All right, the boiler explodes and destroys the hotel, and kills the dad.
Rachel: Just washing the windshield. (She turns on the wipers forcing Ross off of the hood.)
The Presenter: in the category of Favorite Returning Male Character the nominees are: John Wheeler from General Hospital (Applause), Gavin Grant from The Young and the Restless (Applause), Dunkin Harrington from Passions (Applause), and Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives (Applause). And the Soapie goes to (She opens the envelope) Gavin Grant from The Young and the Restless!
Rachel: (pouring the wine) Sick-sick-sick-sick.
The Attendant: Well, there's a service in progress. Have a seat.
Chandler: I was just trying to bring a little culture to the group.
Joey: My identical hand twin! The person whose hands are exactly like mine! This thing is a gold mine!
[Scene:� Monica and Chandler's apartment.� Monica is wearing a sexy negligee.� She pours two glasses of wine as Chandler enters with a carry-on suitcase.� He sets the case by the door.)
Joey: All right, okay, this is great, uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk. And-and when she comes in hopefully, she wont recognise you because, well, why would she? Uh, okay, and then you buzz Ross and I. (to Ross) You be Mr. Gonzalez, and Ill be uh, Mr. Wong.
Joey: Oh I-I uh, found the keys and now Im just polishing her up.
Phoebe: Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica) Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....
Phoebe: All right y'know what, nevermind! Everyone wants to have a green one! Im sorry, Im sorry, I didnt mean to get so emotional, I guess its just the holidays, its hard.
Joey: Well can you at least stay to the end of the play? I mean, Ill go to the airport with ya, I-I wanna say good bye.
MNCA: You know, that's true. You'd be a great person to have around the day after an emergency.
Chandler: (entering) Hey, does anybody need anything copied? Im going down to the Xerox place.
Ross: Hmm-Hmm-Hmm. (Putting his hand up to block his mouth.) Okay. I, uh, am from Long Island. I-I came to the city for college. Um, I, um, have a 5 year old son and in my spare time I like to read spy novels. But, but, lets talk more about you. Hmm.
JOEY: Well, we're, we're just goin' over here so that we can get away from the horrible flesh eating virus, for the love of God woman, listen to me. Is he lookin', is he lookin'?
Joey: Am I psyched? The lead in my own TV series? Ive dreamed about this for years! Why have I not been preparing?!
Chandler: The Hitlers will be so disappointed.
Joey: The reactors gonna blow in three seconds, were never gonna make it!