words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Chandler knocks on the front door. Joey answers the door.]
Chandler: Hi, my names Chandler. I just moved in next door and I was wondering if you would be interested in battling me in a post-apoplectic world for control of the galaxies last remaining energy source?
Joey: Yeah, but, hey look, dont go through her stuff. She gets really mad.(Chandler gives him a look and walks to the door of his old room.)
Chandler: (The room is filled with flowers and a floral print sheet on the bed.) Oh my God. What is th its like a guy never lived in here. Look, youve got to be careful. This girl thing is dangerous. (Looking around the living room.) Its spreading already.
Joey: (Looking around the room.) It is???
Chandler: (Picking up a pillow.) Yeah, is this your pretty pink pillow on the couch?
Chandler: (Pointing to the table and picking up the box.) Is that your tiny little box, thats too small to put anything in?
Joey: (Grunting) Hmm. (Monica opens the front door and comes in.)
Monica: Chandler come on. We have to hem the new dust ruffle.
[Scene: Central Perk, The gangs all here. Monica is walking in.]
Ross: The one that always stares at me when I come in?
Monica: No, the one who looked at you once because you got in her way.
Phoebe: Im, uhh, making up flyers trying to get new massage clients. So, can I come to Bloomingdales and use the copy machine.
Rachel: But, Pheebs, you can still use the copy machine where I actually work. But, just come by at lunch so my boss doesnt see you. Cause Kim will just freak out and she already doesnt like me very much.
Phoebe: Now you will not believe this. But, I was in the copy room, making copies, and Ralph Lauren came in.
Phoebe: Yeah. I was just in there. He introduced himself and the next thing I know, were making out. You know.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey stares at a picture of a bay on the wall. Janine comes out of her room.]
Joey: Like this. (pointing to the picture) Pictures of cute babies we dont know. We..we cant have that.
Janine: Well, Im sorry. I just thought Id try to make the place a little nicer.
Joey: Yeah but its too much stuff. You know like, you got the candles and the foofy schmoofer thing here and over here you got a picture of a watering can.
Joey: Im sure its a famous watering can, okay. But, come on and what is with the really hot stick in the bathroom?
Joey: Ohh, well, thats ok then. But, okay my towels for instance. I come in to the bathroom here and my towel is not on the floor where keep it. Its up here on some hook..and smells different.
Joey: Alright, I can make my peace with the clean dry towels Also what is with these chips you bought?
Janine: No no no no, its potpourri. Youre supposed to smell it. (Joey takes a big whiff of the potpourri.)
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Rachel gets on her boss Kim is there.]
Rachel: Ahh .So Wow The spring line, its really going to be great this year, huh?
Rachel: So I hear the Ralph Lauren fooled around with someone in the copy room. (Kim stops the elevator and turns to Rachel.)
[Scene; Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch. Ross walks in.]
Ross: Ahh, I-I did leave the gel on a little longer then it said to.
Rachel: Yeah. Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside. (Sitting down on the couch.) You guys are never going to believe this. But, Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren.
Rachel: Yeah I know. She ran into him at my office and they just made out. And the craziest thing is, now my boss likes me because I told her about it and she said it was the best gossip shed heard all year.
Phoebe: Hey. Here. (Hands Chandler a copy of her flyer and sees the picture of Ralph.) Ohh, whos the silver fox?
Rachel: That-that is your make out buddy. Dont you recognize him? (Holding up the magazine in front of her face.) Oh wait. Ohh, Phoebe I love you. Kiss me please.
Rachel: Oh My God, Phoebe, thats not Ralph Lauren. Thats Kenny the copy guy.
Phoebe: Why would the copy guy say he was Ralph Lauren?
Monica: Ross this is the only thing left that has a shot at working.
Monica: Please. Half the guys out there have makeup on.
Monica: All right, half the people. I mean, just try it and see.
Ross: No. I am not putting on makeup. (Knock at the door. Phoebe enters.)
[Scene: Chandlers and Monicas apartment, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table making potpourri sachets.]
Monica: Wait, were supposed to organize the wrapping paper drawer.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Chandler walks in. Joey and Janine are knitting at the kitchen counter.]
Chandler: Hey Ross, I was wondering if Oh my God!! Where are all the men???
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Kims waiting for it. The door opens and Rachel is inside.]
Kim: You didnt cancel the fabric order from Taiwan?
Rachel: Okay, two things didnt happen. Remember I told you that someone made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room? Well, it turns out thats not true.
Kim: Oh thats interesting? Because I checked and only one keycard was used to access the copy machine yesterday during lunch and that keycard belonged to you, Rachel.
Rachel: I-I dont want your job. I-I dont. Ohh this is such a mistake. I did not make out with him. Nobody made out with him. I did not use my keycard yesterday. I dont even know how to use my keycard. (The elevator stops. Ralph steps on.)
Ralph Lauren:: Hi Kim. (Dead silence until Ralph gets off the elevator.)
Kim: Yeah, nothing happen. You could cut the sexual tension in here with a knife.
Ross: Hmm-Hmm-Hmm. (Putting his hand up to block his mouth.) Okay. I, uh, am from Long Island. I-I came to the city for college. Um, I, um, have a 5 year old son and in my spare time I like to read spy novels. But, but, lets talk more about you. Hmm.
Joey: So whats really neat. If you sear the stems of the flowers first in a frying pan, your arrangement will look fresh much longer.
Chandler: Monica, could you excuse us for a second? I need to talk to the girl with the flowers.
Joey: Ohh, I love birds. (Monica leaves. Chandler shuts the door.)
Chandler: What is the matter with you ?!?
Chandler: Youre arranging flowers! (Pointing to the dish on the table.) You got dead flowers! You got a picture, a picture, of a baby dressed like flowers! This is not Joey!!
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it .Oh My God, Im a women!!!
Phoebe: But why didnt you just tell her the truth.
Rachel: I did but she doesnt think anyone would be stupid enough to confuse Kenny the copy guy with Ralph Lauren.
Phoebe: Well, hey, what if Kenny were the real brains behind the whole company? You know. What if Kenny hired that Ralph Lauren guy to be the pretty front man? Huh, did she ever think of that?
Phoebe: Well, the only thing you can do. Sleep with Ralph Lauren.
Hillary: You know, I rarely connect with someone this much on the first date.
Ross: (Giggling) Hmm-Hmm-Hmm. (Picking up a piece of bread and covering his mouth.) Me, neither. Ive had a really good time too, you know. (Putting the bread down.)
Ross: (Putting the bread up to his nose.) Ohh, I just like the smell. (Sniffing it.) Mmmm.
Hillary: Would you like to move over to the couch?
Hillary: Maybe Ill just turn the lights down a little.
Ross: (Covering his mouth with the glass.) How about all the way.
Hillary: Okay. (She goes to turn the lights off and Ross sits on the couch. She has some black light posters on the wall.)
Ross: (Looking at the posters.) Wow, cool poster. Or should I say groovy poster? (They sit down on the couch. Ross smiles and the black light fluoresces his teeth.) So, ahh, where were we?
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren Offices, Rachel gets in . Kim is there.]
Kim: Hi Rachel. Ohh, Ive been meaning to ask you. Have you seen the new Ralph Lauren sheets? Ohh, what am I thinking. Of course you have.
Rachel: (Faking crying.) Yeah, he dumped me. He said, "Rachel, I cant do this. Even though you are a very, very, very beautiful women. I cant do this. Im married and Im sorry." And then I dont know why but he said, "and you will never get promoted. Especially not above Kim, who is an integral cog in the Ralph Lauren machine."
Kim: Oh my God. He just gave you the coldest look I have ever seen. Its like he hates you. Then it is true.
Kim: Kenny the copyboy.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey paces the floor waiting for Janine. She walks in.]
Janine: Whats the matter? Are you upset?
Joey: Im sorry but weve got to get rid of all this girlie stuff in here. I, uh, I got to be a man! Okay. The living room has to remain a guy place, okay? Thats just the way it has to be.
Joey: Great Great and thanks for being so understanding. I mean, I didnt want to make a big deal out of this, you know. (She starts to collect all the girlie stuff up.) You could, uh, put the picture of the famous baby in my room. I mean, if you want to.
Joey: And, uhh, maybe the watering can there.
Joey: Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready?
Phoebe: The coins have finally forgiven me!
Monica: Umm. (Looks at Chandler who is using the phone.) Umm. Umm. I don't think so.
Ross: Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. Im just gonna put this (The money) back in my pocket, pretend that didnt happen. Uh yeah, actually Im free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or
Chandler: Its not all juice! (Rachel quickly gets out of the way.)
[Phoebe and Rachel are at the counter talking.]
Monica about to have a heart attack: Okay, listen I know you're having a little bit of a family crisis, but you don't have to take it out on the plates. I mean, I mean in fact I think that everyone should cut their food like this.
Phoebe: And so engaged. (Points to the ring that Rachel is wearing.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel and Phoebe are having dinner with Dr. Green, and everyone is looking at the menu.]
Monica: No, you were right. I don't have a plan. (There's a knock on the door.)
ERICA: Oh my God. Do the people at the hospital know about this?
Gunther: Maybe nobody won the jackpot, but there was this guy in here earlier, and he found the ticket on the street, right outside, and won $10,000 (goes to the counter).
Chandler: Maybe that's because she's a minion of the anti-Christ.
Joey: You know, uh... [Joey moves the pen case out onto the counter.] Chandler got you a gift, too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
Joey: All right. Hey, but it better make me look really, really good. (Starts for his room.) Oh, and another thing, the video camera? Nice!!
Chandler: Yeah, I think that's wrong, but there's a Connect the Dots in here for you later. (To Monica) Hey, how about maroon?
Phoebe: You know what Amanda said to me when she got me on the phone? (apes Amanda in a british accent) "Oh, so sorry to catch you on your Mo-Bile!" If-if you don't wanna get me on my mo-Bile, don't call me on my mo-Bile!"
MONICA: Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular?
[Scene: A Street, Rachel is throwing her coat into the Porsche and getting in.]
Monica: You can spill. In the sink.
(As Joey goes to the bathroom, Corporate Phoebe enters. Shes wearing a business suit and carrying a briefcase.)
Monica: What one? You wanted him to invite you to the party and he did it!
Monica: I dont know. (Picks up a big plate from the coffee table.) Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Joey: Is this because I come over here without knocking and eat your food? (Walks towards the fridge) Because I can stop doing that, (looks at the fridge) I really, really think I can!
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
Rachel: Thank you! And now if youll excuse me, I have to go to the rest room.
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
Rachel: Im sorry, as I was saying the store number is wrong, and Im sorry but thats... (notices a fire that Rosss candle has started) Oh my God!!
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
Amy: Yeah! Hey, sure! The "Days of Our Lives" guy!
CHANDLER: What? [realizes it was the bracelet] Oh this is excellent. You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller, the eyesore from the Liberace house of crap.
Monica: Yeah! Thats why Im sleeping with him on the side.
Ross: No, Mike, no, no. You wanna pick me, I mean... watch! (he mimics the groommens way of walking down the aisle with a bridesmaid) Huh?
[Cut to outside, theyre going to talk to Phoebe about walking the bike.]
Joey: Well... I'm helping out down at the N.Y.U. Med School with some... research.
Monica: I mean, youre the one theyre gonna come to when they wanna run away from home, and the one they talk to about sex.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Joey: Well, I started building one. But then I decided to take it to the next step.
Joey: "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex just looks at him and the director motions for him to continue so he tries it again.) "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex does nothing.) "Come on son! Your Mommas good people!"
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is looking at an uncertain future.]
Monica: I swear you said you had the keys.
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Chandler: Fine! (goes into his room and slams the door, then he slams the bottom half of the door.)
Chandler: Hi Emma! It's the year 2020. Are you still enjoying your nap?
(Rachel opens it. Inside is the money she needed.)
Monica: Okay if Mike were here what would the two of you be doing?
Joey: We figured we could be late because you guys were gonna be on time (he points the foam finger at the girls)
[cut to Chandler and Joeys apartment, Tommy is using the phone]
Chandler: (to Gunther) Y'know what Gunther, go ah, go ahead, Im-Im talking to ah, (tries to get her to say her name). (to her) This is the part where you say your name.
Rachel: Well, let's see. There was a really big guy that I was talking to, with the really nice breasts...
The Saleswoman: I'll give you store credit in the amount of four dollars.
Chandler: And the other ah, Dutch people, they come on from somewhere near the Netherlands, right?
Ross: Yeah! And! And, it was the easiest 400 bucks Ive ever made.
Phoebe: (reading the recipe on the back of the bag) Yes!! (Realizes.) Ohh.
Woman At The Wedding: It didnt click.
Chandler: Isnt that what happened with you and the brides maid?
[Scene: Chandler's office, he and Phoebe are there when the phone starts ringing.]
Monica: Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. (Goes to the counter) It was right here, where is it?
Joey: (sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?
Monica: Okay, just back off mister! Whoa. (Pause) Cause I am ready to have a baby. I just want Joey to be the father.
(Walks out and after he closes the door Phoebe turns around and takes a bite out of what is left of his candy bar.)
Rachel: Well, then I get to give him the cell phone.
Monica: Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and she's really not happy about it.
Joey: Oh, Bob, get off the guy!
Phoebe: Oh my God Chandler, the one you picked is gone. Its over!
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Chandler: He said...he said, he said that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself! Without any outside help whatsoever.
(They kiss each other on the cheek, and Rachel leaves.)
[Rachel exits into the hallway just as Ross is coming up the stairs.]
Phoebe: Ok, ok, you start preparing the formula and I start changing the box and then we gotta put them straight to bed.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, night. Chandler and Joey are sharing the sofabed in the living room. Joey is restless.]
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Monica: I dont know, Ive never had to use the other one. Im just saying yknow, if were having sex, hes not gonna be talking.
Joey: Because! Youre mean on the boat!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Chandler: Yeah, and not that you would, but I wouldnt hang out with all the guys in my office.
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.
MNCA: So, Mr. Rastatter, what exactly does this job entail? The ad wasn't too clear.
Phoebe: Oh, and great! You might as well bring me my book, its on the counter in your apartment.
Chandler: I'd keep an eye on him! We have to find out which one the father is.
ROSS: Y-ello. No, Rachel's not here right now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it like at the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, this Casey?
Monica: I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and shes the only one left!
Rachel: Yeah! Its weird. But the thing is need to find a date.
Rachel: Okay that is the one we already have!
Rachel: Funny, because I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler.
(Rachel, Ross and Ross go to the bathroom)
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Phoebe: No, no, no, I wouldnt do you myself, I mean that would be weird. Yeah, no, Ill get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this will be so much fun! Hey! Are you excited?
Phoebe: All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.
Rachel: Come on, just answer the question!
Rachel: So just bring it back downstairs, whats the problem?
MONICA: Yes, I will start with the carpaccio, and then I'll have the grilled prawns.
Phoebe: No Im not okay. The only guy Ive ever been crazy about has gone to Minsk and I may never I may never see him again. (Crying.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. There's a knock on the door, and Phoebe opens it.]
Phoebe: Well, Im going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)
Chandler: Oh, dont thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I gotta get to get to work.
[Scene: The delivery room, Rachel and Ross are entering.]
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.