words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the kitchen, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the table writing one notepads while Chandler is looking over their shoulders.]
Chandler: No, we're playing this game I learned at work. You have to name all the states in six minutes.
Monica: Nobody cares about the Dakotas. (Thats true in so many ways, trust me, Ive lived in one and been to the other.)
Phoebe: Oh, I got tired of naming states. So I decided to list the types of celery, and I have one: regular celery.
Chandler: Okay, so Rachel's got 48 and Phoebe has the lead in vegetables, Joey?
Joey: Say hello to the new champ of Chandler's dumb states game.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross is sitting in the couch doing Chandler's game. Chandler is sitting in his barca-lounger. The girls are in the kitchen.]
[Cut to the girls in the kitchen.]
Rachel: (counting the place settings) How come we have one extra place setting?
Ross: You know, I hate to lecture you guys, but it's kinda disgraceful, that a group of well-educated adults and Joey can't name all the states. Did you ever see a map, or one of those round, colorful things called "a globe?" Hmm?
Monica: All right, I'm out of oven space. I'm gonna turn on Joey's. Please, watch him! Do not let Joey eat any of the food!
Chandler: Look Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.
Joey: But the drawer full of take-out menus is okay, right?
Chandler: Sure, and Joey; do not let Ross look at any of the maps or the globe in your apartment.
Joey: Don't worry, Chandler, it's not a globe of the United States.
Joey: What the hell is in there?
Monica: We left Joey alone with the food! (Walks towards the window and looks out) Yep! Yep, I knew it! There he is... feeding stuffing to a dog!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Ross is still doing his list. Rachel and Joey are feeding the dog as the phone rings.]
Phoebe: (answering the phone) Hi Geller-Bing residence. How can I help?
Phoebe: (Phoebe hangs up and someone knocks on the door. She gasps.) They're here already? How are they doing this?
Rachel: (gets up and opens the door) Hi Tag! What are you doing here?
Chandler: Huh! Where is the dog?!
[The dog barks.]
Chandler: Phoebe, we can hear the dog barking!
Phoebe: No that's just me coughing! (Doing some weird coughing noises and the dog barks again. Phoebe comes out of the room.) Oh, good, there you are! Listen, um, I have a dog in my room.
Phoebe: Well, I'm watching it for some friends who went out of town. Wait. (She bends down, picks up the dog, and waves with one of its paws) Hello, my name is Clunkers. May I please stay with you nice people?
Phoebe: That's odd, 'cause this dog's been living here for the past 3 days
Chandler: And I don't wanna say this, I don't you guys to hate me, but uh, I don't think, I can be around that dog anymore. Okay, so either the dog goes, or I go. (An awkward silence ensues.) Oh my god!!
[Time lapse, Ross is still doing Chandler's game. Tag is heading for the balcony.]
Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo-point.
Joey: Fine! Take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
[Cut to the balcony, Tag is looking down while Rachel enters.]
Rachel: No Yeah, all the time, constantly. It's terrifying. But you know that I figure it it has to work out.
Tag: You have all the answers, don't you?
Joey: (through the window) All right, he likes you back! Huh? Told ya, you should go for it!
[Scene: The Balcony, continued from earlier.]
Rachel: No? (He shakes his head) All right, here's the truth um, Joey said what he said, because um, I'm attracted to you.
Tag: Wow. (He starts to walk towards the railing.)
Rachel: Yeah, I admit it. I have a crush on you, and uh, and, and I know that's crazy because we work together, and-and nothing could ever happen, and the last thing I want to do is-is to freak you out or make you feel uncomfortable. Which is why it would be really great if you said something right about now.
Tag: (looking at the street) Oh my god! Those guys are stealing my car! (He points down to the street)
Rachel: (she hurries after him) Wait, we still have time to talk and theyre-they're not even in the car yet! (She takes a quick look down the street.) Oh look, there they go, okay. (She hurries in, too)
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Monica and Phoebe sitting on the floor next to Clunkers basket.]
[They both get up and head for the door. Clunkers whines a little]
Phoebe: You know if you want, we can sneak the dog back in and Chandler wouldn't even know.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross lays a lot off small papers, shaped like the U.S. states onto the floor making a map with the states. Phoebe enters]
Chandler: (comes out of the bathroom) Here I am.
Chandler: How did you know? (Heads back into the bathroom)
[Phoebe waves Monica in. Monica sneaks in with the bag with Clunkers in it and heads for Phoebe's room.]
Ross: Hey look, Phoebe. I, uh, I laid out the states geographically...
Chandler: (comes out of the bathroom) Where's Monica?
(We can hear the dog whining at a high pitch.)
Ross: Because you sent away the dog!
Ross: Oh, is it? Is it? Look, when Monica and I were kids, we had a dog named Rover. And, uh, one day, my dad decides, he doesn't like dogs. So Monica and her friend Phyllis take away the dog. And that was the last time we ever saw him. Don't you see? This is just like that. Only with a few details changed.
Joey: (entering) Okay, I'm in my sweat pants. Bring on the food! (Sees that Chandler has a worried look on his face) What's the matter?
Joey: So? Bring the dog back, you're a hero.
[Time lapse, Ross still laying a lot out the states.]
[Joey stands up again. Rachel enters the door]
Joey: Hey! Tag's still talking to the police.
[Rachel walks past Joey towards the couch]
[The dog barks, runs out of Phoebe's room and jumps onto the couch]
Joey: Oh No-no-no-no-no-no-no! He went over to Ross' to bring the dog back here!
Phoebe: Oh no, the dog's not going to be there!
[The door opens and Chandler comes in. Rachel covers the door with a blanket]
Chandler: Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Yknow, for you, and (Clears his throat) I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. (Points up and then over to the street)
Rachel: (uncovers the dog) Hi!
Phoebe: Yeah, she came all the way back from Ross' building. Oh, the things she must have seen! And then she climbed up the fire escape and she tapped on the window with her teeny little paw and then we ran to let her in (Realizes, that Chandler starts to not believing her) I went to far, didn't I? When should I have stopped?
[Ross whines and starts working again. The door opens and Tag enters.]
Tag: I'm okay. I gotta go down to the police station and look at mug shots.
Ross: Tag? Y-You're going? (Comes over to Tag) Uh we didn't, uh we didn't get the chance to talk. Uh, so, where did you say you're from again?
[Rachel and Tag go into the hall.]
Rachel: Look, um, I think we should talk about what happened on the terrace.
Tag: No, you didn't. The only thing that freaked me out was you saying that nothing could ever happen between us.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, later that night, there is someone knocking on the door and Chandler stumbles out into the living room, turns on the light, looks through the peephole, and opens the door.]
Chandler: You got it. (Starts looking at the pad, while Ross got the turkey out of the fridge and starts to unwrap and it) You got Nevada twice.
Chandler: Yeah. (Throws the pad on the table and heads for the bedroom)
Ross: Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. (Kicks a sign in frustration) And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey, and a broken foot! Thank you very much.
Ross: (holding a dress out from inside the closet) This one?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah! Back then yknow, we called the Great War. It really was!
The Teacher: Right. Are you looking for Jacks parents to discuss the problems hes having with Ben? (Phoebe nods Yes.) Yeah. Because I really do think the parents should sit down and have a conversation.
Monica: Wow, so you guys are, you're never gonna be in the same room together? How is that even gonna work?
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
David: Uhm... uhm... Goodbye... Uh... Schto ya ztez vigul... ui... (David holds his hands gently on the back of Phoebe's neck. There's a sound of a a bunch of keys rattling, and the door opens... It's Mike)
[Scene: Madison Square Garden. Phoebe and Mike are watching the game. There's cheering, but Phoebe seems distracted.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is looking out the window and Joey is sitting on the couch.]
Monica: Nooo! (Giggles) Okay. (She tries to pull herself up by Rachel and Joeys doorknob, but the door opens and she almost falls into the their apartment. She manages to catch herself.) Whoa! (Stands up, unsteadily) Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning (whispering) thirty. (Giggles.) So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. (Pause) I wanna puke on you later!
Joey: No you cant do that, where would the chick and the duck live?
JOEY: I'm fine with it, I mean, if you're OK watching a video filled with two nippled people. [Chandler puts the tape in]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel and Monica are pretty much telling Chandler what the wedding plans are.]
Ross: Yes!! Yes!!! (He starts clapping and Phoebe turns around to look at him and falls off the bike.)
Phoebe: Oh no. No-no-no, dont do that! How could I live with myself if I knew I was depriving the world of your music.
Joey: In the woods. No wait-wait, thats the joke answer.
(They all throw their pieces back as there is a knock on the door.)
Rachel: Chandler, theres a guy right over there. (Points to the counter)
All: Yeah, drop it! Drop the towel! Please drop the(pause)wowww.
Joey: I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! (A woman goes towards them)
Phoebe: So what?! That doesnt give you the right to ditch me!
Ross: (on phone) Uh, hello dad! Monica and I just saw the house in the paper! (Listens) Yes were surprised! (Listens) Who did you leave a message with?
Ross: We know you took so just-just save yourself the time and confess!
Phoebe: Well, I think you're gonna appreciate it the crap out of this one (she gives him a check)
Joey: You usually find them on the 'heaving beasts'.
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
[Next is a shot of them dragging an enormous plant into the room, then Monica knitting a sweater, then Phoebe singing, then Phoebe shaving him and chatting to Monica]
Mr. Geller: Well, the garage flooded sweetie and it ruined everything in your boxes. Im sorry.
Doug: But seriously, I believe that we should all support President Clinton. And her husband Bill. (Chandler does the laugh.)
(She starts to walk very slowly toward the front of the room. The teacher grabs her hand and pulls her. Suddenly a woman bursts in)
[Scene: A couch store, Ross is trying to decide on a new couch for his place. He has dragged Rachel along for the trip, and she's not too happy about it. Ross is sitting on it in different ways to see how it feels. He tries to just sit on it normally, and then he tries flopping on it. One thing about this couch, it's huge. It's like twice the size of a normal full size couch. Whoever designed this thing, needs help and fast.]
(They walk in. Smoke fills the apartment.)
Monica: My God, I cant believe this! I mean I knew that mom and dad were invited, but I thought that was it! I mean from the ages 7 to 9 Frannie and I were inseparable!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is making candy while Chandler and Rachel are taste testing and Joey is on the couch doodling.]
JOEY: I can't find the remote. [Phoebe turns off the TV] Thank you.
CHANDLER: Because I didn't know how to tell him that I couldn't go to the Knicks game.� So, I just told him that I had to stay in Tulsa.
Joey: (thinking) Uhm... oh! Okay. You come with me, and you tell them that the house is haunted!
Amy: You didn't want me to marry the old guy with the great apartment. Then, I tried to help your daughter to de-emphasize her flaws (frantically pointing at her nose) And suddenly I am the bad guy?
Phoebe: Well, his name is Parker and I met him at the drycleaners.
(He goes to kiss her but she moves. Monica screams. Ross shouts and stares in disbelief. Monica runs out of the room.)
Chandler: I saw you checking me out during the game last night.
(Rachel goes up to the door of their bathroom)
Chandler: That was an obvious joke, and I didnt think of it. Why didnt I think of it? The source of all my powers. Oh dear God, what have I done!
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
(Chandler walks over to where the rest of the gang is.)
Phoebe: Doing it on this table. (points at the table)
Phoebe: So you like the drums! That's, that's great! Yknow, I was worried, that, you know, they would maybe an unbearable living situation. All right, okay, well, apparently not! So, yay!
Monica: (looking out of the window) Oh my God. You guys! You gotta come see this! There's some creep out there with a telescope!
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
Ross: Uh, yknow what? Ill tell you who it hurts! It hurts the kid who has all his clothes stolen in gym class so he has to go to the principals office wearing nothing but a catchers mitt!
Carol: Just aim for the bump.
Phoebe: No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that ones actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
Rachel: What?! Wait a minute! No wait a minute! (She does so.) Okay? Look, that night was the one wild thing I have ever done in my entire life, and Im not gonna let you take that away from me! Okay, so if you dont remember that, maybe you will remember this! (She grabs Melissa and kisses her on the lips.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is laying on the counter and Rachel and Monica are comforting him again.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is on the phone.]
Donny Osmond: Yeah! Welcome, it is Soap Opera week here on Pyramid, let's meet our contestants. First, Gene Lester is a database specialist, he's gonna be playing with "Days of Our Life's" star Joey Tribbiani! (Joey's amazed at the place and he keeps looking around till he realizes the audience is applauding him)
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Joey: No! No! No! You guys were totally right! This is so much better than the first time we went out. Yknow? That was so awkward, we were really nervous.
Rachel: Yeah, well Bettys kinda sad. Which is why I believe I can lure her away with these chocolates. (Holding up the box of chocolates.) Now, while I distract her, you get in the office.
Rachel: I dont know, let me think. I was walking down the street thinking, Im gonna tell the father today and then bam!
[Flashback to 702 - TOW Rachel's Book] [Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the wedding book as Monica enters.]
ROSS: Ohhh. Big boy, riding the bus--Hey, I have a question. How come it says Property of Human Services on his butt?
Rachel: �Mira, mira, el viejo desnudo est� haciendo el hula hoop! (Look, look, Ugly Naked Guy is doing the hula!)
Joey: (smiling) Oh, they cut me out of the show.
Front Desk Clerk: As a wedding gift to you, the hotel would like to give you the honeymoon suite.
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
Joey: I wish. No. After dinner, me, her, and Pepper all fell asleep in front of the fire. Well I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw that the fire was dying out. So, I picked up a log and threw it on. Or, at least what I thought was a log.
Phoebe: Ok. We can, um, we can burn the stuff they gave us.
[cut to later, Tim has left. Monica is still shivering. Theres a knock on the door.]
Monica: Ross, we havent done the routine since middle school.
PHOEBE: You're not the only one who has a date tonight.
[Scene: The Hospital, Marcel lies on the operating table while recovering from the anaesthetic, tucked up under a sheet like an infant in a huge bed. Ross sits beside him, as a smiling Chandler, Monica and Rachel look on.]
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica and Chandler are returning and Monica finds her basket is empty.]
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau have gone to get coffee.]
The Stripper: Yeah, that would be great. So I guess umm, good night.
(the scene starts.Joey enters and there's a girl wearing a wedding dress near a bed)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: And shes back in the game.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, they're all hanging out in the living room.]
Rachel: Hey Ross! Any word on the apartment yet?
Monica: (pointing to the kitchen) Yeah you will! (Points to the bedroom) And, are you kiddin me?!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what 'cha reading? (Phoebe ignores him) Pheebs? (Turns away) Hello? (He sits down next to her and she moves over a bit.) Phoebe? (He moves closer and she keeps moving away.) Phoe-Phoebe! (They end up hanging over the arm rest.) Come on! (He grabs the magazine away from her.)
Chandler: (entering) Check it out! Check it out! When the babies wake up, they can meet Krog! (He holds up this Xena-like warrior action figure.)
(Joey now enters the room through the door, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe are following him.)
Monica: Hmm, no. I mean how can I accept a restaurant from him? I-I-I-I cant. I couldnt even accept a necklace from Stu Vincent in the seventh grade.
Monica: So you hit her in the face?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is about ready to leave for Atlantic City.]
Chandler: (to the receptionist)'Scuse me.
Joey: Your sister stood me up the other night.
Joey: (Runs out in a towel) What's the matter with you?!
Ross: No, it turns out that the one from uptown was making a joke. But it was a different joke than I thoughtit wasnt that funny. So Im still torn.
(They look at each other. We switch back to Monica. Chandler opens the door and she turns to look at him.)
Monica: We forgot to sign one of the admissions forms.
[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier, Chandler is sitting on the table.]
Joey: (smiles then stops) Now I cant believe it! What? Rachels pregnant? (The girls nod yes.) Whos the father?
Fake Monica: Oh, by the way, tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show.
David: Why not? It's brilliant! (talking to an imaginary Mike) Goodbye Mike, we'll see you at the wedding, fella! (pause) well, we probably won't invite you to the wedding... (to Chandler) Thank you, Chandler. Sincerely.
Rachel: ... the WENUS?
(Rachel walks into kitchen to talk on the phone.)
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey. What a day. I took her everywhere. The Museum of Modern Art, Rockefeller Center, Statue of Liberty.