words in movies
[Chandler throws his coat on the couch]
Chandler: Oh! Thats great, they havent seen the place since I moved in!
[Monica goes to fiddle with something on the table.]
[Monica goes to the stove.]
Chandler: (shocked at the news) Why cant I tell them that we live together?
Monica: Because they dont know were dating. (Again, trying to quickly change subjects.) Do you think we should eat in the kitchen? (Goes to the sink and the stove to cook.)
Monica: (trying to change subjects, excitedly) So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! Ill see you then. (Pats Chandler on the shoulder and goes into the living room.)
Monica: Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that youre really sarcastic, or that, yknow, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch.
[Chandler goes to stand to the side of the TV.]
Ross: Yeah, see, we-we-we have to stop across the hall, because its my sister. But, uh, uh yknow actually, growing up with a sister was nice because it really helped me understand women. Yeah, you-you should tell your friends that.
Rachel: Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butters done?
Joey: Oh, ooh the food smells great, Mon!
Ross: And the place looks so nice!
The Girls: Happy Thanksgiving!
[Joey and Ross go to the door, ready to leave.]
Monica: Oh, Janine, the really hot dancer girl?
Ross: Oh, but-but it is, uh, its just like the first Thanksgiving, when the Indians and the Pilgrims uh, sat down to dinner.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and the Indians taught the Pilgrims what it meant to be hot in the new world!
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
[Phoebe walks from the living room to the kitchen and talks quietly to Rachel.]
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
Chandler: (worried) Hes the headliner of a gay burlesque show.
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
Joey: Rach, youre killin us here, will ya serve the dessert already? Those drunken dancers are waiting!
Ross: W-What was the one right before bananas?
Rachel: The beef? Yeah, that was weird to me, too. But then, yknow, I thought well, theres mincemeat pie, I mean thats an English dessert, these people just put very strange things in their food, yknow. [To Joey] Oh! by the way, can I borrow some Rum from your place?
[Ross goes to look in the magazine Rachel got her recipe from.]
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
Ross: Oh my God, the pages are stuck together!
Joey: (sad) Oh man! Now shes gonna start all over! Were never gonna get to introduce the hot girls to the new world!
Joey: Just let her serve the beef-custard thing?
[We see a shot of Jack drinking condensed milk on the couch.]
[Ross and Judy enter the living room. Judy and Ross sit down on the couch beside Jack. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the coffee table.]
Mr. Geller: Whats the matter with him?
[Scene: Rachels old room. Its pretty much empty except for a few boxes against the walls. Ross and Chandler enter.]
Ross: Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
Ross: I dont know, aheh, yours was the first name that-that popped into my head, Im Im sorry. I-I didnt think it would matter.
[Scene: Rachels Old Bedroom, Continued from earlier. Monica enters the room.]
Chandler: The reason we havent told them were together is because they hate me, okay? So will you fix this?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
Rachel: Joey! Come on! I dont wanna make any mistakes, alright? This is the only dessert and if I screw it up everybody's gonna be like Oh, remember that Thanksgiving when Rachel screwed up the trifle?
Rachel: So why dont you just let me worry about making the trifle and you just worry about eating it, alright?
[Chandler and Monica are by the window pressuring Ross to tell his parents the truth.]
Ross: Okay, okay, well just get everyone to act like they like it. That-that way noone makes fun of her and we still get to go to Sweet Potatoe Pie! (Referring to the dancers.)
[Joey and Ross go back out into the main area.]
[The hallway. Rachel and Ross go out and they just stand there for a few seconds.]
Ross: So um...Thanksgiving. The holiday season is upon us, hm?
Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Yknow? And its probably really hard for you to be alone right now.
Rachel: No, I-I live with Phoebe. I mean youre [pity-tone] alone, alone. And I just-its just not the time for us. Im sorry.
Ross: (just trying to get out of the conversation) Ah well, cant blame a guy for trying!
[Inside Monica and Chandlers. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to everyone.]
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
Rachel: Alright, Monica, I want you to have the first taste.
[Rachel hands Monica a plate. Monica takes a spoonful of the whipped cream portion.]
Rachel: Oh oh oh, wait! You only got whipped cream in there! Ya gotta take a bite with all the layers!
[Monica puts the pea on top of the spoonful and takes a bite.]
Monica: (faking joy. Rubbing her stomach and smiling at the same time, like Joey said) Mmmm! Its good!
Monica: Its so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one whos eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.
Chandler: (clearly lying and hating the dessert) Yeah, this is so good, that Im gonna go enjoy it on the balcony so that I can enjoy the view whilst I enjoy my dessert.
[Chandler exits to the balcony.]
Monica: (again, lying) Im gonna go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror, as I eat it.
[Monica exits to the bathroom.]
[Rachel leaves to the balcony.]
[Rachel and Chandler re-emerge from the balcony.]
Rachel: ...So a bird just grabbed it, and then tried to fly away with it and, and then just dropped it on the street?
Chandler: (lying) Yes, but if its any consolation, before the bird dropped it, he seemed to enjoy it.
Phoebe: Rachel, come here. (Rachel walks over to Phoebe. Chandler sits down on the lounge-chair.) Okay, I was just starting to take my Thanksgiving nap, and I had another dream about Jack.
Phoebe: Yeah, but then Jacques Cousteau came and he kicked his ass for betraying me! It was soo cool! Then, he took me diving and he introduced me to his pet seahorse, who, by the way, was totally coming on to me, and please, that is not gonna happen.
[Jack and Judy come out of Monicas room and sit down on the couch.]
Mr. Geller: Boy, Im glad I wore the big belt today.
[Rachel and Phoebe walk into the kitchen. Monica comes out of the bathroom and goes over to Ross.]
Ross: Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. Im sorry.
[The Gellers stare at Ross. Ross looks at his parents with an afraid, shocked look.]
Ross: Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didnt break the porch swing, Monica did!
[The Gellers glare at Monica.]
[Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the table, looking at the Geller siblings like theyre weirdos.]
Monica: Ross hasnt worked at the museum for a year!
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
[The Gellers glare at Monica, shocked]
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
Rachel: (reading the recipe magazine, finally figuring out that...) I wasnt supposed to put beef in the trifle!
Joey: (pounding the table) I wanna gooooooo!
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Mr. Geller: And we kinda figured about the porch swing.
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Everyone is helping clean the table.]
Monica: Well actually, I-I didnt eat mine. Its still in the bathroom.
Charlie: No, but he did just win the McArthur genius grant.
Phoebe: Okay. (Monica closes the door, gets the guitar, and then hands it out.)
Joey: Its just a game Mon. (makes a Can-you-believe-her face to the rest of the gang.) Rach, how about you?
(She opens the door and Rachel hides behind it.)
Joey: (his mood changes instantly) Just when I thought we could be friends. (he leaves the room)
Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.
Ross: Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or...(There's one of those moments. They're staring at each other, no word uttered, and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him, but he ducks and avoids her more than once.) Oh, oh. (he then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again, he stands up and she falls down on the bed). No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea.
(The couple moves up to the counter.)
(They go up to the counter.)
Tag: Okay. (They sit on the step.)
Jake: (yelling through the window to Phoebe) I miss you already!!
Joey: But, hey, look, you know the good thing is, is that we spent the whole day together and I survived, and what's even more amazing, so did she. It was bat day at Shea Stadium.
Chandler: I think I should get the chair!
Joey: What the hell is that?
Rachel: What? Wait-wait a minute, what? Phoebe, what's the matter?
[Scene: The delivery room, continued from earlier.]
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
[Scene: The museum cafeteria, Joey is eating with the tour guides as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Yes, of course. (Shows him the tickets.)
Phoebe: Grasp one of the linen strips by its easy grab tab and pull it off in one quick pain free motion.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Phoebe: Ok! I want the dolphin!
Rachel: Okay youre right. Ill hire Hilda tomorrow. Dumb old perfect for the job Hilda!
Ross: What? What? What?!! Well they should put that on the box!!!
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Joey: I can't write! Y'know I mean I-I-I'm an actor, I don't have the discipline that takes, y'know? I can't do it.
Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. (She glares at him and he quickly makes his way to Phoebes room.)
(Treeger leaves and Ross notices the door.)
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Phoebe: Joey! (Examining the dress.) Wow, you didnt rip off any buttons.
Monica: I mean think about all the money that youre gonna make!
Monica: (moving over to the couch) Still smoking cigars?
MONICA: So, I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat rice it kills them.
Dr. Baldhara: Well, if he's up against a jungle cat or an animal with horns, you've got to give the little guy something. Otherwise it's just cruel.
Joey: Oh, y'know the same thing happened to me one time.
Chandler: (looks at Monica then at them) We need the stuff.
Ursula: Oh great! (Opens the door.) (Disappointed) Oh, you. Umm, what's up?
Ross: No, because thats the right thing to do.
Monica: Yes! Every year Ross makes the toast, and its always really moving, and always makes them cry. Well this year Im going to make them cry.
Rachel: (coming down the stairs) Hey! (Ross jumps up, and quickly puts the letter back together, pretending like he has just finished it.) What happened to you? Why didnt you come up?
Ross: (tries to snatch it from the kid) GIVE ME MY PUCK!! (but it files out of his grasp and knocks out the receptionist)
Monica: Hey Rach, remember that great song, Me, Myself, and I? (And on the "I" part she mimics poking her eye.)
Phoebe: Hey! So how was the doctor?
Monica: Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)
Janice: Well, I knew you had the Rockys, and so I figured, you know, you can wear Bullwinkle and Bullwinkle, or you can wear Rocky and Rocky,or, you can mix and match, moose and squirrel. Whatever you want.
Phoebe: So how was the honeymoon?
The Director: You guys make me fly! High! Okay, were gonna pick it up here, tomorrow.
MICH: No, no, I am, but only because for the last hour and a half I've been playing the movie Diner in my head.
Dr. Harad: They have the honor of being born on The Fonz's half-birthday.
Chandler: Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.
Ross: But hey, its not just me, I mean the scientists and the tour guides never sit together.
Chandler: Yeah, we have all this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year. If I don't get it done, I'll be fired.
Chandler: Whos number two? One of the more difficult games sewer workers play.
Ross: Theres the one!
Mr. Waltham: You spend half your life in the bathroom, why dont you ever go out the bloody window!
Ross: The lie you just told.
Joey: Well you-you-you-you might say congratulations! I saw the board! I went to the audition! I got the part!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, minus Rachel, are getting ready for dinner.]
Ross: (forcing the door open) Come on, Rachel, come on! Talk to me! Please!!
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
Chandler: (to the front desk clerk) Hi! Were checking out of the bridal suite.
Ross: Joey, Im not worried about her! Im worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?
Ross: (entering) Rachel wont talk to me! She wont even open the door!
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
Dr. Franzblau: I'm sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them.
[The camera cuts to show the couch, which has been cut in half.]
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, y'know? We'll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
PHOEBE: Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.
PHOEBE: I, I don't wanna meet my father over the phone. What am I gonna say, like 'Hi, I'm Phoebe, the daughter you abandoned. Oh, by the way, I broke your dog.'
JOEY: [to a wedding guest] How's that pig-in-the-blanket workin' out for you? [the guy nods] I wrapped those bad boys.
Chandler: Okay before we start the celebration, Monica has to go put on her party dress.
Monica: Hey! How'd the audition go?!
Monica: Okay. Sorry. (She goes into the guest bedroom.)
Rachel: (ignoring him) Anyway, Ralph just came in to tell me that hes so happy with my work that he wants me to be the new merchandising manager for polo retail.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting at the kitchen counter and Ross enters from Rachel and Emma's room.]
Joey: No, Im performing the ceremony. Im not wearing a tux.
Joey: Yknow what? This is not fair to her. Lets just forget the tape!
Monica: I... I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair! (Tries to move her huge hair away from the phone, in vain)
(Chandler and Monica hug each other, and then Joey enters the apartment again.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is being yelled at by her dad over the phone, and hes been going on for so long Rachel is holding the phone away from her ear and reading a book.]
[Scene: The craps table, Monica is on a big roll.]
RICHARD: That's it? That's the giant number you were afraid to tell me?
Chandler: Uh Joe, when its one oclock in the morning and you dont come by? Thats okay!
Phoebe: Oh my God!!! Monica!! Hes the stripper from your bachelorette party!!
Rachel: Okay Phoebe calm down, theres no need to place blame. Okay? (To the fireman) I warned her about those candles.
[Scene: The 2001 Soapie Awards, the announcer is introducing the next presenter.]
Chandler: And I will cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and do anything in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
[Rachel holds the tray between them. Chandler grabs the muffin before Monica can.]
The Fireman: Please reattach this, its against the law to disconnect them.
Monica: You used the Europe story!
(Ross grabs the tape and heads for the VCR as Rachel goes over and puts the chain on the door and locks it.)
Joey: Excellent! Lets play Bamboozled! Chandler, youll go first. What is the capital of Columbia?
Paul: Whats the matter honey? Did you see a little mouse?
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Rachel: Well I assume the ah, happy couple isnt up yet. Did you guys hear them last night?
(She hangs up the phone and they hug.)
MONICA: Two it is. Ok, time for bed, I'm gonna go brush my teeth. [goes in the bathroom]
Monica: Oh no! I dont know anything about cooking. I had to ask someone what its called when the, when the water makes those little bubbles.
Ross: Are you sure shes in the cat, or have you been taking your grandmas glycoma medicine again?
[Scene: Rachel's new job, she's in her new boss's office (Kim's) and with the other assistant (Nancy). Together they're deciding what clothes to buy or something, who knows, let's all watch/read to find out.]