words in movies
[Chandler throws his coat on the couch]
Chandler: Oh! Thats great, they havent seen the place since I moved in!
[Monica goes to fiddle with something on the table.]
[Monica goes to the stove.]
Chandler: (shocked at the news) Why cant I tell them that we live together?
Monica: Because they dont know were dating. (Again, trying to quickly change subjects.) Do you think we should eat in the kitchen? (Goes to the sink and the stove to cook.)
Monica: (trying to change subjects, excitedly) So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! Ill see you then. (Pats Chandler on the shoulder and goes into the living room.)
Monica: Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that youre really sarcastic, or that, yknow, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch.
[Chandler goes to stand to the side of the TV.]
Ross: Yeah, see, we-we-we have to stop across the hall, because its my sister. But, uh, uh yknow actually, growing up with a sister was nice because it really helped me understand women. Yeah, you-you should tell your friends that.
Rachel: Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butters done?
Joey: Oh, ooh the food smells great, Mon!
Ross: And the place looks so nice!
The Girls: Happy Thanksgiving!
[Joey and Ross go to the door, ready to leave.]
Monica: Oh, Janine, the really hot dancer girl?
Ross: Oh, but-but it is, uh, its just like the first Thanksgiving, when the Indians and the Pilgrims uh, sat down to dinner.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and the Indians taught the Pilgrims what it meant to be hot in the new world!
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
[Phoebe walks from the living room to the kitchen and talks quietly to Rachel.]
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
Chandler: (worried) Hes the headliner of a gay burlesque show.
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
Joey: Rach, youre killin us here, will ya serve the dessert already? Those drunken dancers are waiting!
Ross: W-What was the one right before bananas?
Rachel: The beef? Yeah, that was weird to me, too. But then, yknow, I thought well, theres mincemeat pie, I mean thats an English dessert, these people just put very strange things in their food, yknow. [To Joey] Oh! by the way, can I borrow some Rum from your place?
[Ross goes to look in the magazine Rachel got her recipe from.]
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
Ross: Oh my God, the pages are stuck together!
Joey: (sad) Oh man! Now shes gonna start all over! Were never gonna get to introduce the hot girls to the new world!
Joey: Just let her serve the beef-custard thing?
[We see a shot of Jack drinking condensed milk on the couch.]
[Ross and Judy enter the living room. Judy and Ross sit down on the couch beside Jack. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the coffee table.]
Mr. Geller: Whats the matter with him?
[Scene: Rachels old room. Its pretty much empty except for a few boxes against the walls. Ross and Chandler enter.]
Ross: Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
Ross: I dont know, aheh, yours was the first name that-that popped into my head, Im Im sorry. I-I didnt think it would matter.
[Scene: Rachels Old Bedroom, Continued from earlier. Monica enters the room.]
Chandler: The reason we havent told them were together is because they hate me, okay? So will you fix this?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
Rachel: Joey! Come on! I dont wanna make any mistakes, alright? This is the only dessert and if I screw it up everybody's gonna be like Oh, remember that Thanksgiving when Rachel screwed up the trifle?
Rachel: So why dont you just let me worry about making the trifle and you just worry about eating it, alright?
[Chandler and Monica are by the window pressuring Ross to tell his parents the truth.]
Ross: Okay, okay, well just get everyone to act like they like it. That-that way noone makes fun of her and we still get to go to Sweet Potatoe Pie! (Referring to the dancers.)
[Joey and Ross go back out into the main area.]
[The hallway. Rachel and Ross go out and they just stand there for a few seconds.]
Ross: So um...Thanksgiving. The holiday season is upon us, hm?
Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Yknow? And its probably really hard for you to be alone right now.
Rachel: No, I-I live with Phoebe. I mean youre [pity-tone] alone, alone. And I just-its just not the time for us. Im sorry.
Ross: (just trying to get out of the conversation) Ah well, cant blame a guy for trying!
[Inside Monica and Chandlers. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to everyone.]
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
Rachel: Alright, Monica, I want you to have the first taste.
[Rachel hands Monica a plate. Monica takes a spoonful of the whipped cream portion.]
Rachel: Oh oh oh, wait! You only got whipped cream in there! Ya gotta take a bite with all the layers!
[Monica puts the pea on top of the spoonful and takes a bite.]
Monica: (faking joy. Rubbing her stomach and smiling at the same time, like Joey said) Mmmm! Its good!
Monica: Its so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one whos eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.
Chandler: (clearly lying and hating the dessert) Yeah, this is so good, that Im gonna go enjoy it on the balcony so that I can enjoy the view whilst I enjoy my dessert.
[Chandler exits to the balcony.]
Monica: (again, lying) Im gonna go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror, as I eat it.
[Monica exits to the bathroom.]
[Rachel leaves to the balcony.]
[Rachel and Chandler re-emerge from the balcony.]
Rachel: ...So a bird just grabbed it, and then tried to fly away with it and, and then just dropped it on the street?
Chandler: (lying) Yes, but if its any consolation, before the bird dropped it, he seemed to enjoy it.
Phoebe: Rachel, come here. (Rachel walks over to Phoebe. Chandler sits down on the lounge-chair.) Okay, I was just starting to take my Thanksgiving nap, and I had another dream about Jack.
Phoebe: Yeah, but then Jacques Cousteau came and he kicked his ass for betraying me! It was soo cool! Then, he took me diving and he introduced me to his pet seahorse, who, by the way, was totally coming on to me, and please, that is not gonna happen.
[Jack and Judy come out of Monicas room and sit down on the couch.]
Mr. Geller: Boy, Im glad I wore the big belt today.
[Rachel and Phoebe walk into the kitchen. Monica comes out of the bathroom and goes over to Ross.]
Ross: Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. Im sorry.
[The Gellers stare at Ross. Ross looks at his parents with an afraid, shocked look.]
Ross: Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didnt break the porch swing, Monica did!
[The Gellers glare at Monica.]
[Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the table, looking at the Geller siblings like theyre weirdos.]
Monica: Ross hasnt worked at the museum for a year!
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
[The Gellers glare at Monica, shocked]
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
Rachel: (reading the recipe magazine, finally figuring out that...) I wasnt supposed to put beef in the trifle!
Joey: (pounding the table) I wanna gooooooo!
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Mr. Geller: And we kinda figured about the porch swing.
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Everyone is helping clean the table.]
Monica: Well actually, I-I didnt eat mine. Its still in the bathroom.
Joey: You bet! Whats the part?
Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? Im coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)
Monica: Yeah. Run ten blocks, thatll help the smell.
Ross: Come on. (She gets on the bike.) All right, here we go. All right? (They start.)
MONICA: No. Big deal, so you have a side of the bed, everybody has a side of the bed.
Rachel: (hesitant) Ye-ah. Yeah! You know, the money's great. It's certainly the easier choice...
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey and Chandler are still working on the door.]
Monica: Hey, we would still be living here if hadnt gotten the question wrong!
[The next one is from Episode 712: The One Where Theyre Up All Night, Joey and Ross are deciding how to climb down the final part of the fire escape.]
Joey: Well, I just tape it to the back of my toilet tank. (realises that anyone could have overheard that) I didn't say that! It's in a bank guarded by robots!
Joey: Great, I'm finished! In fact, I just dropped it off at the agency.
Chandler: See? Now, thats why only the little fake men are supposed to do all the kicking.
(Rachel slams shut her window and storms into the living room, where Joey and Monica are eating breakfast.)
The Salesman: (laughs) You need these books.
Monica: Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour.
Chandler: Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhof impression alone. You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? (Does the impression)
Phoebe: Well, you're not more excited than I am! No way! I'm the most excited!
RACHEL: You see, you look beautiful. For god sakes, dim the lights.
Monica: Does she use the cups? Yes! I believe she does. Does she use the plates? Yes! I believe she does. (Looks at the wedding dress and stops.)
[Scene: Outside Monas Apartment, Ross is knocking on the door.]
(Chloe gives Ross the thumbs up while still standing behind the door.)
Chandler: (to Ross) All right listen, I have to go to the bathroom, but if the place with the big fish comes up again. Id like know whether thats several big fish or just one big fish.
Ross: Oh well yeah, actually I was going to talk to her when you guys all came in the room.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch. A waitress brings a coffee and Phoebe wants to pay.]
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Mrs. Bing: Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce it doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the house-boy than me.
(They get into position to pull the turkey off.)
[Cut back to the present.]
Phoebe: Well, oh, ok now... Only one of us has to stay with Emma. Ok, and as the person who realized that, I get to go!
Danny: I'd love to ask you in, but uh, my sister's visiting and I think she's asleep on the couch.
(Matthew runs in and starts patting the other breast, then walks away. Matt slowly stops patting her breast.)
Chandler: Okay, she is the star of the play. And she is my girlfriend! I get to have sex with the star of the play!
Chandler: (horrified at the prospect of trying to quit alone and unsure about himself) I wanna quit the gym.
Phoebe: No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike.
(Monica stares longingly at the door, after Richard leaves)
Phoebe: (singing) New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy.... la la la, la la, la la... (she writes the lyrics down)
Phoebe: Some guy bought it. Im sorry. I tired to stop it but they (points to the jeweler) put me in jail!
[Scene: The gate. Rachel is still searching for her boarding pass.]
[The One With The Fake Party]
Rachel: Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not 'reaching for her heaving beasts'.
ROSS: Sure. By the way, there's a difference between being obsessive and. . .
Mr. Geller: (Forcefully.) Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet the middle of your ass.
Chandler: Well, I thought that would be the best thing to do.
Joey: (looking through a deck of cards) Aww, man, he took the five of spades!! Oh, no-no-no, here it is!
Mr. Waltham: (entering) I almost forget the tickets, didnt I?
(Rachel and Elizabeth go upstairs. Paul starts for the car, but notices his luggage is still out and decides to take in into the bedroom.)
Mindy: Oh no, it isn't! No! I think Barry is seeing someone in the city.
Phoebe: We could eat the wax! Its organic.
Monica: Hey, how did it go with Mike, is he gonna let you keep the painting?
Chandler: (reading the paper) Says here that a muppet got whacked on Seasame Street last night. (to Ross) Where exactly were around ten-ish?
(Ross wears the jackets and look at himself in the mirror)
Gary: Oh it's nothing, it just says that you can't sue the city if you scrap your knee or y'know, get your head blown off.
Jane: (from the answering machine) Hi Joey it's Jane Rogers, can't wait for your party tonight. Listen, I forgot your address, can you give me a call? Thanks, bye.
Joey: Yeah. With a bite! (Takes back the sandwich.) Gee-e-e-eez!
Chandler: Ooh, not so tight... (blows raspberry, and the hug ends) I'm sorry, just give me one more chance.
Chandler: Oh God, it freaked me out. Okay, I know it shouldnt have, but it did. I mean I like her, I dont want to stop seeing her, but every so often its like Hey, y'know what, wheres your leg? I mean Im the smallest person in the world arent I? Im the smallest person in the world.
Chandler: And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. (She glares at him.) Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet.
Joey: ...Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, continued from earlier. Chandler is showing Rachel the ring.]
Rachel: No! You guys cant leave yet! You have to stay, we-we got the whole big thing planned!
Dr. Green: I have no idea, I went to the bathroom. So sweetie, you were starting to tell me what is uh, what is new with you.
(cut to later in the day)
Phoebe: One of the babies is kicking.
Ross: Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I cant date you or have a hot plate in my office. I cant believe we have to stop seeing each other.
Ross: Enough with geography for the insane, okay? Lets play some ball, guys.
Chandler: Honey, weve been over this. I need to be facing the other way.
Monica: Electrical plans for the building.
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Ross: Yeah that's the same.
Monica: No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!
Rachel: Well, why do yknow go in that room (points to the room Ross is in) and do your homework?
Ross: No, no, thats funny. But maybe its time to move on, let it go, yknow? Stop it! Besides, Rachel is going out with Elizabeths father, so ah, hes much older than she is. Looks like Im not the only one interested in fossils, huh?
Monica: Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.
Ross: Oh come on! Here we go! (picks her up and puts her in the chair) Stand by for mission countdown!
Chandler: Yeah, well, good luck trying to top the last one.
Chandler: Well, maybe it's because of the way you're dressed.
Rachel: What? Who the hell is Emily(realises) noooo!!
Joey: I wanted to go to the strip club!
Monica: Because shes not gonna get to keep the babies.
Joey: And I was tired from digging the huge hole!
Ross: Oh, thanks! (Takes it and throws it back into the box and leaves.)
Monica: You know what Id love to do? I would like to go to France and eat nothing but bread and cheeseNot even bread, just cheese. No, I want the bread. Yeah. Ah, and pastries (Breathlessly) And pate. Oh, Im really not high, its just I used to be fat.
(The phone rings and Monica answers it.)
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Monica: Hey guys this stuff is just so way in the past. You-youve been through so much since then. And right now youve got so much more important stuff going on in your life. Cant you just let this go?
The Stripper: Yeah?
Monica: And people will think you own a Porsche because youre wearing the clothes?
Chandler: (opening the door) What?
[cut back to the present.]
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
Phoebe: (noticing a guy sitting by the green post looking at her) Oh wait a second you guys for the last couple weeks Ive been that guy everywhere I go. We take the same bus. We go to the same bookstore, the same dry cleaners; maybe hes the tea guy. (He gets up to leave, and smiles at Phoebe.)
JOEY: [opens the drapes] Hey, Ross! What are you doin'?
Monica: No, that's not it. It's just that when we were asking him all those questions before, I just... I just realized I don't care if he's the most perfect guy in the world... he's not you.
Joey: (coming out of the bathroom) Whats twisted?
MONICA: That's Great. You know we don't need to talk about this now. Really, I mean this is, is so way, way, way, in the future, I'm talkin' hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet.
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
Phoebe: Oh hey hi, hes doing it. Hes breaking down the door. (The chair breaks in half.) Okay, were in. (She hangs up the phone.)
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
Rachel: See look Amy, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby.
Ross: That is really nice lying! No way is that the reason!