words in movies
Rachel: (looking at her fingers) Oh my God! Let me see that! (Grabs the book from him.)
Phoebe: I brought you my old maternity clothes! (Sets a bag on the counter.)
Phoebe: Yeah! And look, (Grabs the pants) see how they expand as the baby grows? (Theres a stretchy part in front.) And then after the babys born, theyre great for shoplifting melons.
Monica: No that was Jarred! Wow! I havent thought about him in a long time (Stares off into the distance lost in thought.) (Pause) Anyway, umm Wills, Wills here on business and he didnt have a place to go so I invited him here.
Monica: Oh, and by the way, hes lost a bunch of weight. I mean he looks goo-ood! Okay, I mean really, really gorgeous! (Joey clears his throat.) I still love Chandler.
Rachel: Remember I had to leave the room the other day when you had that roast chicken?
Joey: Yeah. But I thought that was because I put the whole thing on my hand and made it walk across the table.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching football, and its actually the right game Green Bay at Detroit (although not this years), as Monica is getting everything ready.]
Monica: Hey, isnt weird to think about how next year at this time theyll be a little baby at the table? (Chandler turns around in horror.) (Seeing him) Rachels! But good to know where youre at!
Monica: Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but hes really into the game so I dont want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)
Monica: Im gonna go across the hall to check on the yams.
Phoebe: Okay. (She starts folding the napkins in half.)
Phoebe: Yeah, it all just came screaming back to me. (Monica exits.) (To Chandler) So hows the game?
Chandler: Yeah! Im just pretending to watch the game so I dont have to help out with stuff.
Chandler: Nope! Every once and a while I just scream stuff at the TV.
(Monica enters and Chandler screams stuff at the TV.)
Phoebe: Well normally I dont, but yknow (looks at the TV) Green Bay is playing.
(Phoebe joins Chandler on the couch as there is a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
Chandler: Oh hey. Id shake your hand but uh; Im really into the game. Plus, I think itd be better for my ego if we didnt stand right next to each other.
Chandler: Im watching the game, but Im not deaf!
Joey: Let me explain to you how the human body works. I have to warm my stomach first. Eatin chips is like stretching.
Joey: (To Monica) Who the hell is this guy?
Monica: Hey sweetie. Oh good. (Takes the baking dish from her.)
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
Phoebe: Well the Lions technically won, but it was a moral victory for the Green Bay Mermen.
(They sit down at the table and Will goes to talk to Rachel.)
Rachel: Really?! Arent you sweet! I gotta tell you though, I am, I am having the hardest time placing you. Oh-oh hang on! Did we umm, did we fool around at Lance Davis graduation party?
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
(Monica sets something on the table and removes the cover. It kinda looks like turkey.)
Monica: (laughs) This is Chandlers chicken. This is the turkey. (Sets down a huge turkey.)
Rachel: What? (Joey starts offering Ross some turkey.) Oh yknow what? Can we please keep the chicken and the turkey and everything on the other side of the table? The smell is just yuck!
Will: Well you should be. Screw it! Bring on the yams!
Monica: Okay. (Chandler grabs the dish from Monica and hands it to Will who starts dishing out a large helping.)
Will: Thats right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club!
Will: Then why did it have the word eternity in it?
Monica: I swear I didnt. (To Ross and Will) Hey! Is that why you guys used to go up to your bedroom and lock the door?
Ross: Look Rach I-Im sorry, okay? I I was a stupid kid, okay? The only reason I joined
Ross: co-founded. Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didnt handle it very well. But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club.
Will: Uh, except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club.
Ross: It was no big deal. We-we said that the rumor was that umm you had both male and female reproductive parts.
Chandler: Everybody at my school heard it! You were the hermaphrodite cheerleader from Long Island?!
(Joey is now looking at Rachel, and since Rachels standing and hes sitting down and hes not looking at her face You get the picture.)
[Time Lapse, dinner has ended for everyone except Joey who looks like to have finished the turkey, until he turns the plate around and reveals he only ate one side.]
Joey: Oh yes I do. Otherwise whats next? Today Im just a guy who cant finish a turkey, but tomorrow Im the guy who eats half a Powerbar, wraps up the rest, and puts in the fridge? No! No, I just I justI gotta change my pants. (Gets up and heads for the door.) Jeans have no give. (Exits.)
Ross: Look, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to call everyone in the entire school and tell them it wasnt true?!
Rachel: Yes it is! I saw you guys going at it behind the card catalog!
Will: Mrs. Altman? She also made out with Takaka Ci-Kek the night before he went back to Thailand.
Rachel: Ohh, theres a picture of her in the yearbook actually.
Chandler: Well, she probably wasnt familiar with the process having spent most of her life sitting for oil paintings!
Ross: I was working late in the library one afternoon. It was just the two of us. She needed some help with her word jumble. And one thing led to another. If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender. May she rest in peace
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Monica: All right, listen youre just being silly. Rachel, even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls in school and everyone wanted to be like you. One girl wanted to be like you so much she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll!
Monica: And Ross, if it werent for Rachels rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!
Ross: As a romancer of the elderly.
Monica: Hey! Mrs. Altman was the kind of woman you could tell she used to be pretty.
Ross: The eyes did still sparkle.
Monica: Hey guys this stuff is just so way in the past. You-youve been through so much since then. And right now youve got so much more important stuff going on in your life. Cant you just let this go?
Joey: (entering, wearing the maternity pants from earlier) All right wheres that turkey!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Will has left and the rest of the gang is watching Joey finish the turkey.]
Joey: Well thats it. Im done. Whew! (Wipes his forehead.) There come the meat sweats. (Chandler hands him a towel and he wipes his face.)
Chandler: Yes, I believe we can expect a call from the President any moment now.
Rachel: You can keep those pants by the way.
Joey: Ah, just cut me a little sliver. (Monica prepares to cut a little sliver.) A little bigger. (Monica prepares to cut a bigger piece.) Little bigger. (Monica moves the knife again.) What?! Are you afraid youre gonna run out?! Cut me a real piece!
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
Kate: That info-mercial! For the milk carton spout thing! Youre-youre-youre the guy that doesnt know how to pour milk!!
Monica: This would be a beautiful place to get married, yeah, but I wouldnt put the aisle there and I would never have the ceremony there! (Points to both places.) I mean youd have the ceremony under this big beautiful arch. (The arch at the entrance to the room.)
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, so what? (On phone) Look, I live across the street, (walking to the window) and I know all about you and your little telescope, and I don't appreciate it, okay? (Listens) Yeah, I can see you right now! (Listens) Hello! (Listens) If I wanna walk around my apartment in my underwear, I shouldn't have to feel like(Listens)Thank you, but... that's not really the point... (Listens) The point is that... (Listens) Mostly free weights, but occasionally..
Monica: Because I know that you think the lottery is "boohaki" but we're all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.
Rachel: Yeah, okay, I'll see you later. (Gets up and runs from the apartment.)
Joey: That thing was a hazard! (To the potential roommate) Im very safety conscious.
Mike: Phoebe writes lots of great songs. Wha... What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved?
Monica: What?! Why? Why is this crazy? So this isn't the ideal way to something....
Larry: I'll check the kitchen floors.
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
Monica: Yeah. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around:) Don't do the dance.
Ross: Hey Joe, while youre over there how about another beer for the Ross-A-Tron?
Phoebe: I know! (Phoebe picks up a little packet of sugar, shakes it, and then realises she can't open it with one hand, but doesn't want to let go of Mike's hand. She tries to tear open the packet with one hand.)
RICHARD: Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming?
(Joey takes the ice-bucket with the champagne bottle in it and puts it on his sore spot)
[Cut back to the present, Ross is still looking at Rachel's invitation. Finally, he makes up his mind and mails it.]
(Her side of the tree looks a complete mess)
Rachel: Ahh, I dont believe you. I think you dont want them to see you begging me. (Goes to put the tape in the VCR)
Joey: Thats horrible! Well, you did the right thing man.
Rachel: (she's finished reliving the fridge of its entire alcohol content.) Macadamia nut?
Monica: It needs to go about 20 blocks to the left!
Monica: Wait a minute, I can get ice at the restaurant
Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?
Ross: (looks like in heaven) Lighter than air... (changes back to serious) But that's not the point. (Joey now also enters)
Rachel: Well, she-she ob-obviously saw the tire tracks that were leading up to the closed garage.
Chandler: I didnt mean that. I just meant that the apartment is worth so much more.
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
Ross: Listen, if you ever have any problem with the ladies you know Ill help you out.
Phoebe: No but, why does that have to be a bad thing. Just change what it means. Y'know? Go down there and prove your Mother wrong. Finish the job you were hired to do, and well call that pulling a Monica.
Monica: God! If youre gonna cry about it! (She grabs the box and goes to through it out.]
Ross: Yknow what I think it is? I think youve made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesnt want to leave.
Monica: Yeah, two hours, a lifetime thats the same.
Monica: You don't tell me what to do! I tell you what to do! Just call her. She's at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados. And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in humidity? (Mike hangs up the phone) Damnit!
PHOEBE: Listen to you two. It's so sad. Looks like I'm gonna be going to the goddess meetings alone.
Ross: (catching the ball) Monica! Stop throwing it so hard! We're on the same team!
MONICA: Really? Wow, well then come on, I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point.
Chandler: Okay, bye! (To the gang.) Oh my God!!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross and Phoebe are sitting on the couch.]
(Joey is bent over at the waist and is looking for something under Monica's bed.)
Chandler: First of the month.
Rachel: Yeah, but he waited until the last minute! So if I said yes, he would know I had nothing better to do than wait around for an invitation to his stupid party. I said, "No!" Which puts me right back in the driver seat.
Joey: Yeah, the Knicks rule all!
Chandler: (sitting down on the couch) Ok.
Guy All the Way in the Back: Yeah, I heard it.
Rachel: How do you know that? What if it just gets worse and worse and worse, to the point where we cant even be in the same room with each other?!
(They walk to the table, but Rachel suddenly gasps. Sitting there is mr Zellner, her boss from her current job at Ralph Lauren.)
Rachel: Oh no, my dad's a doctor and he would always tell me just horror stories (stops and tries to change directions) about ghosts and goblins who totally supported the princess's right to smoke.
PHOEBE: Oh yes. Oh and, the part about how they're always like drinking from out pool of inner power, but God forbid we should take a sip.
JOEY: [as they're walking out, Dr. Greene questioningly gestures at the Happy Birthday sign over the door] This is clearly in the wrong apartment. [they all walk across the hall]
[Cut to London, Chandlers hotel room. He is getting ready for bed by doing push-ups. One push-up. Just as he gets under the covers, theres a knock on the door.]
Rachel: Now wait a minute. You just took all the words!
Monica: I dont know. I guess the other people just dont care enough.
Rachel: I just don't know if the world is ready for you and your bag.
Kim: Nancy and I were talking about the fall collection.
Rachel: Ughhhh!! Forget it! (Sits down heavily on the bed.) This is, this is not how this is supposed to happen.
Monica: (still hiding under the blankets) So um, who was she?
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Ross is cleaning out the fridge. Joey walks from his room. He looks like he just woke up.]
Monica: He had to go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard.
Joey: (jumps out of the box) I Gotcha!!
Chandler: They thought it was very smart of us to have a child write the recommendation letter.
Chandler: Thanks. (He grabs the sandwich.)
(They both hug, and Rachel, who was in the back of the plane, sees this and smiles.)
(They break the embrace.)
RACHEL: OK, you know what, are, are you being like, the blind date guy again?
[Scene: Ross's apartment the next morning. Ross is very hung-over on the couch as Joey enters with a cup of coffee for him.]
Monica: Hello! Were we at the same table? It's like... cocktails in Appalachia.
Chandler: Okay. (He picks the 9 of Spades)
Chandler: Thats a bad duck!!! (to Ross) Howd the thing go tonight, Ross?
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Chandler: Honey, try to focus the trash talk on him!
Doctor: Oh my. Were gonna need to take you straight to the delivery room.
Ross: I don't even wanna know about the dark cheese.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing foosball for the table.]
Monica: Sounds like shes got the ah, whole package.
Monica: Hey, waitwait, aren't you the guy that plays the butt in the new Al Pacino movie?
Rachel: Monica, you dont even have a bed, you sleep in a ball on the floor!
Rachel: Yeah, it'll be fun. We'll run in the park. It'll be like our first yknow roommate bonding thing.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Thats the creep that youre with at the Statue of Liberty.
Rachel: Oh yeah, scared the hell out of me. I thought wed lost you forever. Pheebs, you lie down?
(They storm out into the street.)
Rachel: Maybe its not as bad as I think. Yknow, maybe they didnt take it the way I meant it.
Rachel: Oh...see... but Joanne loved Chachi! That's the difference!
(Back in the chapel. The parents are still fighting over the bill. Ross is refereeing.)
MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
Ursula: Right. (Walks down the stairs.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch, Rachel is on the chair.]
Monica: I know! Hey, you havent been practising the routine, have you?
Ross: All right, it's time for the story of Hanukkah. Years and years ago, there were these people called the Maccabees.
Phoebe: Yeah? (Checking the final diaper) Well this is not what I ordered.
Rachel: (spinning the bottle) So, Spin the Bottle works like this: I spin the bottle, it lands on Gunther, so I would have to kiss Gunther. (She crawls over to where Gunther is sitting and sees the look of anticipation on Gunthers face and decides not to kiss him.) All right. Who wants to go first?
Ross: Before the snap!
Monica: You know, that guy she met at the coffeehouse.
Pete: Oh, believe me, I dont want to get hurt either. Im being smart about this. See these guys? Theyre the best trainers in the world, and Hoshi here used to be a paid assassin. (Hoshi yells at him in Chinese) A house painter! He used to be a house painter.
Ross: Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And bang! A shot was fired. And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me!
Phoebe: You'd better get back in that kitchen Monica, the garlic is not gonna overuse itself.
Caitlin: I'm gonna try. (Walks away and Ross closes the door.)
Rachel: Well, let�s see. The first one is: I don�t want to. And, you know, I�m not going.
Joey: (Looking around the room.) It is???