words in movies
PHOE: Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
RACH: [near tears] No, you don't, Ross. Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.
ROSS: Um-hmm. [puts them on] I have a condition, apparently, that I require two different sets of focals.
PHOEBE: No. Here. [Throws them on the table.] There. Ooh, double sixes.
Chandler: Yeah okay, I was just talking to the guys. Just look at them I mean, is it okay if they come visit?
Ross: Yeah. Theres no breaking them up, is there?
Chandler: Let them win one.
Chandler: You're not even giving them a chance!
Chandler: My chair. Now, if anybody asks, your name is Rosita! (He runs out the door, grabs the back of Rosita, and we can hear Joey and Rachel talking as they are coming up the stairs. Neither of them have reached the landing yet.)
Ross: Let me see! Show them!
(They hand her the babies and leave them alone.)
Joey: No-no-no! No-no wait Rach, you know what would even be more fun? Telling them.
Chandler: Okay, heres the situation. The keys to the cuffs are on the back of the door. Could you be a doll and grab them and scoot on over and unlock me? And on a totally different subject, that is a lovely pantsuit.
SUSIE: Alright. Now I would like to see you wearing nothing but them. Take your clothes off.
Joey: Well I didn't tell them!
Monica: Them?! Who's them?
Chandler: Yeah, check out the ring. (Shows it to them.)
Gunther: Here you go. (Serves them both some coffee.)
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Chandler: And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. (She glares at him.) Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet.
Ross: Man, look at all those stars! (Yeah, you can see what? Five of them from the city?) Infinite space. It really, really makes you wonder, doesnt it?
Wayne: Yeah. Her. All of them. Anyone.
Monica: Yknow, I only know of two surefire ways to shut a man up. And one of them is sex.
[Scene: The Moondance diner, Monica is cleaning up with one of the waiters, with her back turned to him she removes her fake breasts and hides them under her wig.]
Rachel: Ohh! And Im one of them!! Wow! Oh, I just cannot believe this! I mean, Joey Tribbiani!
Joey: Sure. Here. (He hands them over.) Ill uh, save your parking spot.
CHANDLER: Alright you guys are off to party number one [ushers 3 guys into Monica's apartment] and you, you are off to party number two [ushers four women into his apartment. Two guys try to follow and Chandler blocks them and shoos them off to Monica's apartment] Alright fellas, let's keep it movin', let' keep it movin.
Monica: Ugh, shes upstairs not doing the dishes! And I tell ya something! Im not doing them this time! I dont care if those dishes sit in the sink until theyre all covered withIll do them when I get home!
Rachel: Ross, you know what? (looks over to the door and sees security staring at them) Okay, let's talk about it later, there comes security. (Takes her box and leaves. Ross follows her and then returns for the chair. He stands for a moment, then pushes it quickly in the general direction Rachel went into, and out of the camera's view, and then nonchalantly walks away)
Danny: Are you close with them?
Monica: It says “Do it!”. And behold she did adopt onto them a baby. And it was good.
Monica: Theyre kissing lets just go around them.
(We hear the guys start to attack him, but the guy manages to calm them down and gets them to agree to what he did. Monica throws up her hands in disgust.)
Phoebe: Well, what am I going to tell Monica? She wants to wear them tonight!
Ross: Yeah, marriage... stinks! I mean if you wanna see a man gain weight and a woman stop shaving? Get them married.
Rachel: Oh what, you-you want both of them?
Ross: Where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them.
Emily: No, no, no Ross! Ross, these are friends of mine from home. (Introducing them) Liam, Devon, this is Ross.
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
Phoebe: No. (opens the box) wh - get off your sister! Oh my god, what are we gonna do? We have 7 rats. So what if each of them has 7 rats? And then each of those have 7 rats? That's like ... (starts counting with her fingers) That's math I can't even do! What are we gonna do?
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, its the only chance to see New York.
Monica: (To Chandler) Did you hear that?! They bumped them up to first class because they are on their honeymoon! Come on! Lets act like were on our honeymoon.
Chandler: Youre coming on to the entire room! (He goes over to pick up a stack of magazines next to her, and to get her attention, he throws them back down.) Im Chandler.
Chandler: Why havent you told them?! Wouldnt they be happy?!
[Scene: A hall on the floor where Chandler works. Chandler and Phoebe enters, and overhears some employees's conversation. One of them is doing Chandler.]
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
Chandler: Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else.
(Ross tries to clear off the pool table by knocking the balls to the other end of the table, but they all bounce back, and he frantically starts to throw them into the pockets.)
Monica: But you should eat them now because theyre hot from the oven.
Rachel: Okay, you know what/ Youre going to have to call that plane and tell them to swing around and come and pick me up.
(He goes to pull up his pants, but can't seem to get them past his knees. He frantically tries to pull them up to no avail. Panic sets in.)
MONICA: Leon, Leon. Shhh! Guys. Wait, I don't understand. Those steaks were just a gift from the meat vendor. That was not a kick back. I'll just replace them and we can forget the whole thing. What corporate policy? No. Yeah. All right. I just got fired.
(Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear.) Monica and Rachel: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Monica: See now-now youre taking them away from their home.
Joey: (entering, limping, and holding his arm) I dont like this anymore. (He sits down with them in pain.)
Rachel: No one! They are my friends, I wouldnt punch any of them.
Joey: Oh, all blank, and no blank, makes blank a blank blank. Oh no-no-no, no, the end when Jack almost kills them all with that blank, but then at last second they get away. Aww!
Ross: Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?
Phoebe: Okay, those are my sunglasses, you borrowed them from me.
Chandler: And you're gonna make them all disappear.
Chandler: Now that's so funny, because last Christmas I got the gift of space. We should get them together and make a continuum.
Rachel: Hey, don't listen to them. I think it's sexy.
Rachel: Well, just because it happened that way for them doesn't mean it has to happen that way for us.
(He turns to look at Joey who smiles slyly and closes the door leaving them alone.)
Chandler: Y'know, how did I get this reputation as a dropper? Okay? I'm anything but a dropper. (We see various scenes of him dropping a football, a mug of coffee, the phone, an apple, a Frisbee, a record, and the final scene has a ball bouncing off of his chest. I'm not going to describe them, you'll have to see them.)
Joey: Yes, but y'know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over!
Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, I left them on my bulldozer... I don't have tools!
Ross: Okay, look, he's not gonna hurt them, right?
(Rachel gets up and ushers them into the hall, as they pass Joshua, he leaps onto the counter to avoid them. Rachel drops them off in the hall, and knocks on Joeys door.)
Chandler: ADRIENNE TURNER!! (A girl behind them turns around)
Monica: I made them!
Joey: Or ha-ha, we could go over there and pee on them.
(Ross appears at the window behind them crouched behind a garbage can and ready to spring his attack on who he thinks are Phoebe and Rachel. The camera cuts to the exterior view and Phoebe and Rachel call the shots from inside.)
Monica: I loved them!
Monica: Gimme them!
Phoebe: I cant believe he taped the two of them having sex!
Monica: You stole them from me!
Chandler: If its not, then theres two of them. And that would mean its the end of the world!
Ross: Ah, no Mon, Dad had to buy everyone of your boxes because you ate them all. But ah, y'know Im sure thats not gonna happen this time, why dont I put you down for three of the mint treasures and just a couple of the Rudolphs.
Ross: Or! Or, we could go to the bank, close our accounts and cut them off at the source.
[Scene: Monica, Fun Bobby, and Phoebe sitting in Central Perk Rachel is serving them. She brings a mug to Monica.]
Chandler: Oh, thats cool. Then Ill just bring them both over.
(With that we go into a little flashback about the guys memories of the duck. The first one is Joey playing with him in the bathtub and drying him off. Then its Chandler sitting on his couch after they moved into the girls apartment, and Chandler reading to him in bed, and him watching Baywatch when all they had was the canoe and the duck was in a bucket of water. Then we see Ross eating some cereal and the duck watching him. He takes a lamp and moves the duck off of the table. Then its Chandler shooing them out of the bathroom in the girls apartment, Joey revealing their disco cubby hole in the entertainment-center, then Chandler playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with them, and its concluded with various scenes with the duck flapping its wings. And the guys staring into the distance in remembrance of the duck.)
ROSS: Well then that's it. And if George and Adelaide can't accept that, then the hell with them. Look, if my parents didn't want me to marry you, no way that would have stopped me. Look, this is your wedding. Do it.
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. (Walks away over to Rachel.) Where is that other earring?
Ross: So uh, what did you tell them about me?
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
Phoebe: No, its not! We were just goofing around and I dared him to try them on.
Monica: She lets you borrow them.
(Chandler and Monica walk over to the kitchen-counter and leave their keys. Then the other four pick out their keys and leave them as well.)
Phoebe: Let's run towards them!
Joey: But my mom always makes them. It's like a tradition. You get a little piece of turkey on your fork, a little cranberry sauce, and a tot! It's bad enough I can't be with my family because of my disease.
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
[Scene: Outside the Janitors Closet, there are people having sex and Mr. Geller is trying to give them some pamphlets.]
(They start making out again, and it takes Joey trying to enter to stop them.)
(They try to stop him, not sure of what he's planning. He ignores them and goes to talk to Ross.)
MRS. GELLER: No, Richard Burke gave them a ride.
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Paul: Ill call the university and tell them about your relationship and have you fired.
[Chandler puts a coin in the mini jukebox at the table. YMCA starts playing and Monica and the rest of the staff have to get on the counter and start singing along and dancing. After a couple of couruses, Chandler pulls out a handful of coins and drops them on the table.]
Rachel: Man! He just keeps lobbing them up and I just keep knocking them right out of the park!