words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting in their recliners watching TV. Monica, Ross, and Phoebe are there.]
MONICA: You've got to get back out there, it's your party.
PHOEBE: [entering the kitchen from the party] That's funny, no. Cadillac, cataract, I get it, no I get it, you stay out there.
ROSS: I told you there was going to be sub-titles.
RACHEL: I know, I know, I know, I know. I was just thinking about when they were there the last time, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. OK, OK, look, woah, I promise, I'm good, I'm not gonna laugh anymore. OK put your hands back there.
[Scene: Dr. Burke's office. Monica is there for her eye appointment.]
Joey: Uh, wow, you just said a bunch of stuff I didnt know there.
Joey: Rachel, there you are! Come on, lets serve that dessert already!
Ross: (blows her a kiss) Okay the sleeping thing. Very tricky business, but there is something you can do.
Rachel: Ball? There is no ball.
Dr. Harad: All right, you're getting there. Oh, and y'know, these babies are very, very lucky.
Janice: All right. Well, there you go. (she gets extremely wound up, and begins to try and calm herself down) Stop it, stop it, stop it.
Chandler: There we go!
RACH: Hey, there was one Italian guy, OK, and do you even have a point?
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, first there was my aunt Mary, and then there was umm, John, my mailman, and then my, my cowboy friend Albino Bob.
[Scene: The hallway after the party. Rachel is sitting there.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, there is a knock on the door and Ross opens it to Cassie.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is there, Joey enters.]
[Scene: The waiting room, Monica and Joey are sitting there.]
Kyle: we talked through most of the night and we realized that the reason we were so angry at each other was because there are still feelings there. So (Pause)
Ross: (screaming) Everybody put their balloons down!!! (There is a temporary cease fire.) Now this is a nice suit!! (Shows everyone where he was hit.)
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
Joey: Excellent, I'll be there.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
[Joey's place. He's watching Baywatch, lauging. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to.]
Rachel: (closing the door) Ross said theres still no word from Chandler.
Rachel: (laughs) Oh my God. Can you imagine if there was?! I mean, (getting serious) what would happen exactly.
Monica: I thought there wasn't a ball?
ROSS: [comes out of the bedroom] Rachel. [growls then sees Richard standing there] Hey.
Ross: Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it.
(Phoebe buttons her lip, while the rest of the gang pretend theyre not there.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the gangs all there discussing the incident.]
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Ross: Right! Right! I justI want you to know that Im going to be there through this whole thing, okay? Okay? The doctors appointments, the uh, the Lamaze classes, uh baby-proofing the apartmentAlthough we could probably worry about that til after we get married.
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
Monica: This isnt how its supposed to go, there cant be another guy.
Female Clerk: Yknow, there are two people who could put your picture up there. (She makes eyes at him.)
Ross: Oh, yeah, that’s the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings!
Rachel: (she hurries after him) Wait, we still have time to talk and theyre-they're not even in the car yet! (She takes a quick look down the street.) Oh look, there they go, okay. (She hurries in, too)
Joey: Oooh, what you got there?
Chandler: Okay, but this is the last time. (singing) With a chick-chick here, and a chick-chick there. Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick-(Joey enters)-chickeeeen.
Joey: I cant! Yknow? You guys dont know what its like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down.
Joey: I mean, theres no way I can make myself taller now, yknow? And who knows what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular sized man?
Joey: Oh well, hey, Joeys loveable too! But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, hell be there.
MR. TREEGER: There she is. And over there, that's the other one. This is Mr. Buddy Boyle, Mr. Heckles' attorney. He'd like to talk to you.
Joey: Now? You want me to go over there now?
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Jay Leno: (On TV to Dick Clark) Is there any entertainment there? What are people doing?
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
(The front entrance. Joey and the bridesmaid are up against the wall kissing. Rachel comes in the door and walks by Joey unnoticed. She walks into the chapel and sees Ross and Emily kissing. She looks as though she wants to cry. Emily walks away and Ross turns and sees Rachel standing there.)
Mrs. Geller: And the next time you cater for me, there will be nothing but ice in the freezer. (She starts to bite her nails)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Rachel is there as Joey gets up and starts putting on his coat.]
Ross: Yeah. Theres no breaking them up, is there?
Rachel: There he is!
Phoebe: Are you gonna go over there?
Chandler: (to Monica) (in a funny voice) Hi there. (Monica turns her head away in disgust)
Rachel: Thank you. (Gets up) Now are you sure? Because once I make a copy, theres no turning back.
ROSS: [enters] Ok, what the hell happened back there?
FBOB: I needed to buy a hammer the other night, and I'm out walkin' around the neighborhood but apparently there are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village.
Rachel: Uh- which one of us are you talking to there, Barr?
Chandler: Yknow what? Theres some nice guys at my office, do you want me to set you up?
Monica: Well, I-Ithere was this guy at the bank that I thought was cute umm, but I don't anymore.
Chandler: There we go little fella.
Rachel: There was a woman at the... (realizes) The stripper?!
Ross: Look, I-I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse. (She glares at him) Because with seahorses its the male, they carry the babies. And then also umm, Id be far away in the sea. (He sits back down.)
Joey: Well, there is one way. His windows open, I say, we poke him.
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross, Chandler, and Joey are there eating pizza.]
Monica: I know that theres no hole there, I just really liked that picture.
Ross: Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?
Dr. Franzblau: Ok, all right, well aren't there times when you come home at the end of the day, and you're just like, 'if I see one more cup of coffee'...
Rachel: Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!
Joey: (panicking) Dude! He's right there!
Phoebe: I know, but that creep that I went on that date with goes to there so I have to find a new one. I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, a new adult bookstore, a new grocery store
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are there talking about Chandler and Monica.]
Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, the odds are against us, but somebody has to win, and it could be us! And then how you gonna feel? You know, we're gonna be all like "oh everybody, let's take our helicopters up to the cape" and you're gonna be all like "oh, I can't guys, I'll meet you guys up there, I gotta gas up the Hyundai"
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
Rachel: Shoot, shoot, this is never gonna work! He's right there!
Rachel: Sure, you know what? Come on, well just tell them that there was like a problem with like the "engine".
Rachel: Well, let's see. There was a really big guy that I was talking to, with the really nice breasts...
Phoebe: Oh, no. Don't you hate it when people aren't there for you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there except Rachel.]
Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dads garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.
Kathy: I'm sorry, you're right, I apologize, but I should tell you that I'm waiting for a date. (Joey enters) Oh, and there he is now.
Phoebe: Are you sure? Ill bet theres another flight to Minsk in like
Chandler: Well there you have it!
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
Cop: Who-who else is in vice up there?
Ross: (he starts reading directly from his cards word for word very quietly) "There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into two distinct "
PHOEBE: No. Here. [Throws them on the table.] There. Ooh, double sixes.
Chandler: Okay. But if you dont come back soon, (She leaves and closes the door) theres pretty much nothing I can do about it!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is watching Joey read Little Women, Ross is also there.]
Phoebe: Oh, okay. There should be Gold Man!
Monica: What?! Youre crazy! Theres nothing sexual about the noises I make!
Phoebe: Umm, Im trying to move that pencil. (Theres a pencil lying on the table.)
Chandler: Okay, if you see a little version of me in there? Kill it!
Rachel: Well, they never have any paper in there y'know. So my rule is no tissue, no tuschy. (Phoebe laughs and gets out.) Well, if everybodys going. (She gets out and starts to close the door.)
Chandler: Hi there!
Rachel: Oh, stop that! Dont kid about that! (Gasps) Will all the stars be there?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is answering the door in his robe.] CHAN: No, no, no, no, no, no [opens door to Monica] No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. MNCA: Why not? CHAN: Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. MNCA: OK, if you say stop, then we stop. CHAN: OK, stop. MNCA: No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo [Chandler walks out of the apartment, leaving Monica] Woo. [Scene: Rachel and Monica's apartment. Rachel is taking asprin. Ross enters.] ROSS: Hey Rach. RACH: Ahhhh. ROSS: Oh. And how was the date? RACH: Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . [Rachel looks at Ross as though she remembers something, but can't place what it is.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
Fake Monica: There's an open call for Cats. I'm thinking we go down there, sing Memories and make complete fools of ourselves. Whaddya say?
Joey: Soon, soon, I'm gonna be on soon. There I am! (Points to the screen, of course it isn't him.)
Ross: There you go. Thank you!
Rachel: Oh yeah! Of course, I mean, shes gonna get over this, yknow? I mean, so you said my name! Yknow you just said it cause you saw me there, if youd have seen a circus freak, you wouldve said, "I take thee circus freak." Yknow, it didnt mean anything, its just a mistake. It didnt mean anything. Right?
Rachel: I cant! Its too late! Terry already hired that girl over there. (points to her) Look at her, shes even got waitress experience. Last night she was teaching everybody how to make napkin.... (starts to cry) swans.