words in movies
[Scene: Rifts Restaurant, as seen in Mad About You, Joey and Chandler are there.]
Joey: Theres the waitress. Excuse me, Miss. Hello, Miss?
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now Im here.
Ross: No, Susans gonna be there too. Weve got dads, weve got lesbians, the whole parenting team.
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Rachel: Well, someone was supposed to write "Rach, take down the lights" and put it on the re... frigerate... (finally noticing Monicas note stuck to the refrigerator) How long has that been there?
Joey: So that if we went out on a date, shed be there.
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
Fran: Look, youre cold, I have to pee, and... (indicating the sign) ..theres a cup of coffee on the window. How bad could it be?
Jamie: No, no, no. We were there last night. She kept... (shuddering at the memory) ..bringing swordfish. (Indicating the ladies bathroom) are you gonna go to the, um?
(There is a loud knocking at the door through which Joey has just entered.)
(She rises, dragging Chandler along by the wool. Rachel has to leap over a chair to follow them. Monica opens the door to find Mr. Heckles standing there.)
Joey: I dont know. I like her, you know. Shes different. Theres uh, somethin about her.
Chandler: And thats the Chrysler Building right there.
(Phoebe buttons her lip, while the rest of the gang pretend theyre not there.)
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
David: I mean, theres a statue in Minsk
[Scene: The hospital, Chandler and Monica are there with Phoebe as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone's there; Phoebe recites the last verse of a poem to Joey. This poem is known as "The Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore, but it seems that it's rather "Account of a visit from St. Nicholas" by Henry Livingston.]
Ross: Actually this looks like pretty good! Yeah!(he turns and watches his back and there’s a sign on the back of the jacket, “boys will be boys”) Boys will be boys?
[Scene: Rachels office, shes there as Tag knocks on the door and enters carrying a plant.]
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah yknow, like warm up the crowd. Ask em where theyre from. Cause in Joey Tribbiani you get a minister and you get an entertainer. Im a minis-tainer! (Rapping) There is no one better! There is no one greater!
Erica: Well, there is a chance it's another guy. I mean, I have only ever been with two guys, but they sorta overlapped.
Rachel: Thank you. (He goes to leave.) Hey-hey umm, uh, is there, is there any such thing as an annulment shower?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering. Rachel is there getting some tools to help Ross out.]
Joey: Why did I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said... (Looks through his address book) There's no guy in there!
Chandler: (realizes what Ross just said and the implications to him) I am mad! But you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna forgive you! Because that's what friends do! They forgive their friends when they do everything you just said, all on the list there. Well, but I want you to remember that I forgave you.
Carol: Oh please God, let there be a song.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there, Joey is on the phone.]
[Scene: Mr. Zellner's office. There is a knock on the door.]
Rachel: So, if-if I mess this up, theres nothing else for dessert?
[Scene: A Medical Research Office, Joey is there to sign up for an experiment, any experiment.]
Monica: No. It disappears back there behind that baseboard. For a minute there, I thought it went downstairs.
Joey: Yeah, theres this guy from Chicago whos supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guys right after him. (Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello!
Phoebe: There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and its positive. Monicas pregnant. (Rachel covers her mouth.) So I guess she wont be totally alone.
(She goes out into the hall and when shes there and the door is closed; she rips off her robe to reveal her work clothes.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters carrying a drum.]
Joey: Alright, come on you guys, it's not that big a deal. Really... I mean, I just go down there every other day and... make my contribution to the project. Hey, hey, but at the end of two weeks, I get seven hundred dollars.
Monica: (the hands still there) When-when you were little you slept through the Grand Canyon. (She actually itches her nose this time.)
Rachel turns to Ross: Oh whose side are you on? <back to Amy> I'm not giving you Emma because there is no way you could handle the responibility of a child.
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
Chandler: Thanks for trying. (grabs the ticket and starts to leave) Oh, and by the way there is no Count Rushmore!
Chandler: I just want you to know that what you witnessed in there, that wasnt for fun.
Rachel: Because it is too damn hard Ross. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I'm gonna miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go... Okay, so if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right, there's your goodbye... Oh!
CHANDLER: Well, uh, let's try one more. . . there you go, say Ernie's, 8 o'clock.
Joey: (on machine) Hey Ross. Its Joey. Theres a hooker over here and we thought maybe youd know something about it.
Ross: (surprised) Huh, I took a shot there.
ROSS: No, there is no way he was a velociraptor. No Tony, look at the cranial ridge, OK. If Dino was a velociraptor, he would have eaten the Flintstones. Yeah, yeah. [Monica comes out of her room] Oh, were you takin' a nap?
Joey: Uh, well they might be a little mad at me over there.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there to watch Joey's first scene as Dr. Drake Remoray.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her date with Joey as there is a knock on the door.]
[Scene: Halloween Adventure, a costume shop, there is a salesman behind the counter, Ross enters.]
Phoebe: Dont be so negative! Good God! Isnt it possible that Sorry is sitting in there (Joey and Rachels apartment) right now?!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers new apartment, Ross and Chandler are there.]
Chandler: Wow, Ralph Lauren is really going out of there way to show theyre not in the baby buying business.
Ross: This is a girl that I really like and had too swoop in there!
Rachel: (on the couch) Oh hi! Yknow, I just wanted to see if there were any leads on the old job front.
Erin: Im sorry I Its just theres no real spark.
JADE: Well there really wasn't much time to get used to it, you know what I mean?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are there. Chandler and Joey are looking through the paper.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there as Tag enters carrying a bag.]
Chandler: Okay, but there is a big difference. You are a lot hotter than I am.
Dr. Franzblau: It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Monica rushes in.]
Phoebe: Oh, ok. I see what you're doing, that's fine. This is all there is, just tea, uh, ok. (she drinks her tea) Hmmmm... raunchy!
Ross: Yeah, I mean, if you moved there, you have to leave here. I mean, how can you leave this place?
Ray: Well, therell be women in bikinis holding up the scores.
Joey: Okay. Okay, I totally hear ya. Oo how about this? I vamp a little til they get there?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler and Joey are there, packing the last boxes.]
Joey: You got it. Thanks man. Thanks for doing this, I owe you one. (Joey leaves, comes back in.) Oh, hey! There wasn't any change from that twenty, was there?
[Scene: Rachel's office, Rachel comes in and Gavin is there]
Joey: Thats better, now just bend your arms a little more. There you go. Okay, look straight ahead. Now this time I want you to really put your ass into it. (They do a practice swing and she really puts her ass into it.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Mark is there, opening Chinese food boxes.]
Monica: (getting up) All right, Ill go down there. But, Im not gonna serve the lasagna. Im gonna serve something I make.
Rachel: (on phone) What is my sister doing there?! And why are the drapes shut?!
Rachel: Ross, look, I know that some of this stuff is out there, but I mean, come on, look at this, look at this sweater! (she picks up a blue sweater). I mean, this is just beautiful!
Molly: There is a man behind your curtain. I have a mace in my purse.
Rachel: Look, this is not that big of a deal! You just dont date Ross! Theres a million other guys out there, you just
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are there, discussing the night before.]
Chandler: Okay this is great, but Joey said he didn't want any of us out there.
Chandler: Hey, y'know what, maybe we should get going. I mean what time did Chloe say we should be there?
Ross: Ill be right there. (He goes over and opens the door to Carol, Susan, and Ben.) (To Ben.) Hello! (To Carol.) Hello! (To Susan.) Hey. Uhh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are there as Ross enters and sees Gunther.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Joey is looking at a National Geographic and giggling.]
Chandler: Come on, dont be crazy. (To Rachel) You dont think theres someone out there better suited for Monica than me, do ya? (Rachel looks at him.)
All: All right!! (they lift it into place, however there is one small problem, the unit is so long that it blocks some of both of their bedroom doors.)
Joey: There was chocolate on the three. It looked like an eight, alright?
Phoebe: And that�s Judy over there at the bar with Emma?
Monica: He's in the bathroom. I don't think you wanna go in there!
Chandler: Joey, there was a little girl who lived here, but she died like 30 years ago.
Mrs. Green: Try. Theres my little girl. (Goes over to Rachel.)
Chandler: Yeah, and I don't wanna brag but a lot of the ideas were mine! (silence) Hell, you weren't there? All the ideas were mine!!!
Monica: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
Joey: Not enough pills in the world, Rach. What about you, you're the single one, seen anybody in there you like?
JOEY: It's gonna be worth it. It's a known fact that women love babies, all righ? Women love guys who love babies. It's that whole sensitive thing. Quick, aim him at that pack o' babes over there. Maybe one of them will break away. No, no wait, for get them, we got one, hard left. All right, gimme the baby.
Joey: Thanks! (Looks at it.) Yeah, theres pulp in that. (Hands it back.)
(They start to leave Central Perk. The band starts to play "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. The crowd rises from their seats. Phoebe and Chandler walk down the aisle. Phoebe really glows with happiness. So does Mike who watches her walk down the isle. When Phoebe and Chandler arrive, they kiss and Phoebe walks to her bridesmaids.)
Ross: I do-I do not have a boyfriend. Theres a guy in one of my classes who-who has a crush on me.
CHANDLER: Maybe 'cause the last one was made by Pepperidge Farm. Look Eddie, isn't there something else you're supposed to be doing right now?
Ross: I'm gonna stop you right there, Glenda. Okay? Does it look like this is my first time, huh? Now I want 4 two's... and I want them all on my back.
Chandler: Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)
Phoebe: Ick-neck-tree-anis..... Theres a g in there.
Chandler: No, I almost did, couldnt leave Ross there without a spotter!
Joey: Oh, Ive been there. Yeah, I am gonna go drive my Porsche. (Starts to leave.)
CHANDLER: Oh well it's not me, it's my character, Chandy. Yeah the rogue processor who seduces his co-worker's wives for sport and then laughs about it the next day at the water cooler. In fact, I have her panties right there in my drawer.
Ross: See, there are still several areas that haven't been fully excavated.
Joey: Don't worry, it's out there! (Just then a horn honks and Joey quickly looks at the road.) I think I just need lunch.
Chandler: Now Monica, I know youre upset, but dont forget. There is going to be a wedding, you are going to throw the bouquet, and then theres going to be a honeymoon, maybe in Paris.
Emily: Oh, theres tonnes of terrific stuffIll go with you!
Ross: (Watching Marcel and talking to Rachel) I wanted this to work so much. I mean I'm still in there, changing his diapers, pickin' his fleas... but he's just phoning it in. Just so hard to accept the fact that something you love so much doesn't love you back.
PHOEBE: Ok, this is a typical lightning-bearer thing. Right there, it's like, um, 'Hello, who wants one of my fallic shaped man cakes?'
Monica: You know thats nice, y'know we could put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon!
Joey: Pretty cool, huh? But if youre thinking you can put a fish in there and it wouldnt get sucked up into the mechanism, well youd be wrong.
[Scene: Hallway between the apartments. Chandler comes out wearing spandex, jogging in place. Monica is there.]