words in movies
Monica: Theres still so much to do. Have you written your vows yet?
Chandler: (writing) Monica, there are no words (To Joey and Ross) There are no words! This should not be this hard!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Umm, maybe you can start with, "Chandler, even though we were friends; there was a part of me that always knew I wanted more."
Chandler: All right, theres a nuclear holocaust, Im the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?
Monica: Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. (She starts labelling them) You got one, two three, four (Chandler is shocked to find out theres more than three), five, six, and seven!
Chandler: (shocked) There are seven?! (Points to one) Thats one?
Monica: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
[Cut to Chandler opening the door to his and Joeys apartment to reveal Monica standing there with a turkey on her head in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Monica: You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks!
Monica: Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'.
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
Rachel: Sure, you know what? Come on, well just tell them that there was like a problem with like the "engine".
Rachel: Well, let's see. There was a really big guy that I was talking to, with the really nice breasts...
Phoebe: Oh, no. Don't you hate it when people aren't there for you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there except Rachel.]
Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dads garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.
Kathy: I'm sorry, you're right, I apologize, but I should tell you that I'm waiting for a date. (Joey enters) Oh, and there he is now.
Phoebe: Are you sure? Ill bet theres another flight to Minsk in like
Chandler: Well there you have it!
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
Cop: Who-who else is in vice up there?
Ross: (he starts reading directly from his cards word for word very quietly) "There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into two distinct "
PHOEBE: No. Here. [Throws them on the table.] There. Ooh, double sixes.
Chandler: Okay. But if you dont come back soon, (She leaves and closes the door) theres pretty much nothing I can do about it!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is watching Joey read Little Women, Ross is also there.]
Phoebe: Oh, okay. There should be Gold Man!
Monica: What?! Youre crazy! Theres nothing sexual about the noises I make!
Chandler: Okay, if you see a little version of me in there? Kill it!
Rachel: Well, they never have any paper in there y'know. So my rule is no tissue, no tuschy. (Phoebe laughs and gets out.) Well, if everybodys going. (She gets out and starts to close the door.)
Phoebe: Umm, Im trying to move that pencil. (Theres a pencil lying on the table.)
Chandler: Hi there!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is answering the door in his robe.] CHAN: No, no, no, no, no, no [opens door to Monica] No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. MNCA: Why not? CHAN: Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. MNCA: OK, if you say stop, then we stop. CHAN: OK, stop. MNCA: No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo [Chandler walks out of the apartment, leaving Monica] Woo. [Scene: Rachel and Monica's apartment. Rachel is taking asprin. Ross enters.] ROSS: Hey Rach. RACH: Ahhhh. ROSS: Oh. And how was the date? RACH: Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . [Rachel looks at Ross as though she remembers something, but can't place what it is.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
Rachel: Oh, stop that! Dont kid about that! (Gasps) Will all the stars be there?
Fake Monica: There's an open call for Cats. I'm thinking we go down there, sing Memories and make complete fools of ourselves. Whaddya say?
Ross: There you go. Thank you!
Rachel: Oh yeah! Of course, I mean, shes gonna get over this, yknow? I mean, so you said my name! Yknow you just said it cause you saw me there, if youd have seen a circus freak, you wouldve said, "I take thee circus freak." Yknow, it didnt mean anything, its just a mistake. It didnt mean anything. Right?
Rachel: I cant! Its too late! Terry already hired that girl over there. (points to her) Look at her, shes even got waitress experience. Last night she was teaching everybody how to make napkin.... (starts to cry) swans.
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
Joey: Soon, soon, I'm gonna be on soon. There I am! (Points to the screen, of course it isn't him.)
CHANDLER: Oh, sure, they love us over there.
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
Chandler: The guy was hammered, okay? Theres no way, you look like Rosss mother.
Caitlin: Oh, is there a problem?
Ross: Yeah, pants, what, what an idea. Or better yet, um, how 'bout you go without any pants. Look, I don't know what you're trying to do to me, but just get your butt in there and pick out any shoes that fit your feet, okay. No, no I don't care if they match. I don't care if they make your ankles or your knees or your earlobes look fat. Okay.
Joey: Yeah, sure, spread some of that on there.
Rachel: Ok, fine! You can make fun of me. I do not want Emma going there. And I was thinking Claire Danes.
Rachel: (gasps) Its still there! (The cheesecake they returned to Mrs. Braverman is still lying in front of her door.)
Chandler: Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?
Ross: Oh, but it's a kind game! So we're a little late, you know, the girls will be there, let's stay just for one more goal.
[Scene, Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Rachel is there.]
Ross: You need me to go down there with you and hold your hand?
Phoebe: Yes. Well, that's neither here nor there.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing. Joey is not there.]
Rachel: Well, there you go!
(Theres a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Ross: I...reorganized the fridge. See, bottom shelf: meats and dairy. (Theres nothing on the shelf.) Middle shelf: fruits and vegetables. (Theres one lone tomato.) And top shelf: expired products. (The shelf is jammed packed.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters. Joey is holding a baby duck.]
Monica: (taps Phoebe on her shoulder) Um... hi there.
Ross: Oh no-no-no, Im there.
PHOEBE: Right. My name was on there, but now it just says "carrot cake". So, um, so um, how many chords do you know?
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now Im here.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone with her mother. Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
[Cut to Ross's apartment. Ross and Rachel are there. It's another scene from 1016 TOW Rachel's Going Away Party.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is all there.]
PHOEBE: Ok, right there. That, that's the third sign today. Right there.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there. Bonnie is telling them of her sex-capades.]
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
The Casting Director: Is there a problem?
Rachel: Oh yeah, there you go. (Hands over the pillow.)
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
Chandler: You okay there man?
[Scene: The World Premiere of Over There, Joey and Chandler are arriving in a limo and are about to walk down the red carpet.]
Chandler: Well, Chandler will be there for you too. I mean, well, he might be a little late, but-but, hell be there. And hell bring you some cold soda, if want you need him for is that youre really hot.
Monica: Ah, well if you dont clear this off, you wont be getting one of those from me. But Bens coming over here tomorrow to play this game, this cant be there.
Phoebe: Bamn! There you go! Huh?
[Scene: Chandlers office, the guys are there waiting to ambush the stripper.]
Phoebe: There you go, that's the spirit! Okay! Now, if you need money, I will lend you money, but just get moving!
Kim: No-no-no, we'll move you just stay right there. (They walk away.)
Mark: Um, y'know, before we go ah, theres something I need to say.
Monica: Hey! Do you think that we can get to the subway right there if we climb down through the manhole cover?
Phoebe: Oh, he's at the doctor, he didn't poop the whole time we were there!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and Ross are there. Ross is trying to get the dress off Marcel.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is setting up for his time with Marcel. Joey is there.]
Doug: There you go. (smacks him on the butt)
Ross: No, no, no just do it. Go in there and pick something out so we can go.
Joey: Nope. Op, wait! There he goes.
Phoebe: Yeah! And look, (Grabs the pants) see how they expand as the baby grows? (Theres a stretchy part in front.) And then after the babys born, theyre great for shoplifting melons.
ROSS: There was never a good time.
Gunther: Ill be there.
Rachel: Okay, thank you. Thatll be all. (The mail guy leaves and Tag starts to follow, but Rachel stops him.) (Excitedly) Wait! Wait! (Rushes over and closes the office-door.) Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. (They kiss.)
Pete: So ah, there was this thing I wanted to talk to you about.
Phoebe Sr: Uh-huh. Wow! Well, look! Theres Frank. (points to the picture.)
Rachel: Yeah, but it was different with him today! And he wasn't, like, Orthodontist Guy, y'know? I mean, we had fun! Is there anything wrong with that?
Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.
Joey: Aww, there we go.
Joey: Wow! Theres a lot I didnt know about vomit. (The duck comes to the door of the bathroom, quacking.) (To the duck) In a minute. (The duck goes back into the bathroom.)
Joey: Oh thats right. Theres a lot going on here and I think I ate some bad fruit earlier.
Chandler: No. Is there anyway, anyway you think hell understand this?
Monica: (thinks about it) All right, but if-if he lights someone else on fire he is out of there!
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!
Rachel: No. I have got to get ready and go to a dinner at my bosses house. Its a very big deal, theres a lot of people there I have to meet.
Phoebe: Okay but thats why you have to buy it, so it can fulfil its Christmas destiny, otherwise there gonna throw it into the chipper. Tell him, Joey
Monica: Get in there man! Flirt back, mix it up!
Phoebe: Thank you. (To Gunther, who's standing there frozen) Okay, go! Go! Go! (He runs off.) (To Larry) Now, if after dinner you still really need to bust someone, I know a hot dog vendor who picks his nose.
[Cut to Monica and Rachels, theyre all there playing cards.]
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, cause Im heading up there.
Chandler: (entering, happily, with a bottle of champagne, thinking that Monica is the only one there) Ha-ha-ha-(sees everyone)-enh-enh. I'm so glad you guys are all here! My office finally got wrinkle free fax paper!
Dr. Schiff: Im sorry, is there something going on here?
Ross: No, I cant. I would, I really would, but my son is here; I cant leave him. Isntyou dont think theres any way?
Chandler: I cant believe there is a naked hooker in there!