words in movies
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Chandler: Well, they're Joey's! They gotta be Joey's!
[Scene: We're back to the present. Chandler and Monica's. They're all still at the kitchen table.]
JOEY: I'm sorry, it's the pigs. they're reluctant to get in the blankets!
(Chandler enters and sees what they're watching, panics, and runs to turn off the TV.)
Rachel: Because they're people.
Rachel: Yes, but still. They're people with eyes.
Ross: Oh, I hope they're not ruined.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. The table is set, and there's food on the tables again. They're all there, toasting.]
Chandler: Yeah umm, they're called wallets.
PHOEBE: Oh yes. Oh and, the part about how they're always like drinking from out pool of inner power, but God forbid we should take a sip.
PRODUCER:They're your backup singers... beind you.
RICHARD: Hey. They're just trying to decide somehting.
[They leave. As they're walking out, the bullies are walking in.]
ROSS: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. RACHEL: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. [they kiss] ROSS: You're not laughing. RACHEL: This time it's not so funny. [They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.] RACHEL: Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. ROSS: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. RACHEL: Oh, thank God. [Scene: Museum of Natural History. The next morning Rachel and Ross are sleeping in the display under a fur.] ROSS: Hi. RACHEL: Hi you. I can't believe I'm waking up next to you. ROSS: I know it is pretty unbelievaaaaah. RACHEL: What? ROSS: We're not alone. [A church youth group is outside the display watching them] CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are still in their chairs, watching Beavis and Butthead.] [they're laughing along with the show when an alarm goes off] JOEY: Is that the fire alarm? CHANDLER: Yeah. [feels the floor] Oh it's not warm yet, we still have time. JOEY: Cool.
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, they're still arguing about what to name the baby.]
Monica: Ohhh! Let me see! Oh God, I can't believe this! They're an hour late and they're just staying out there, talking!
Interviewer: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
CHANDLER: Well I do, but uh, Eddie makes them this way and, well they're pretty darn good.
JANITOR: Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
Monica: No really, they're OK.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again.
Phoebe: I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy.
Chandler: So they're going on dates? When?
Rachel: (waving them in his face) Take 'em! (Joey makes a noise and jumps out of the way.) Joey, you can touch them! They're your underwear.
[Joey just laughs as a third set of flashbacks featuring Chandlers mistakes starts. The first flashback is from The One With The Prom Video. It's Chandler telling Phoebe how much he hates the bracelet Joey bought him. They're both at Central Perk.]
Rachel: No-no, they're not very nice people.
ROSS: Well, ya know, they're a little behind the times in Colonial Williamsburg.
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
[Scene: Gary and Phoebe's apartment, it's morning and they're both waking up in bed.]
DUNCAN: No, but it'll be OK, they're pretty cool, my brother's straight so. . .
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
JOEY: Hey, hey, they're runnin'
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
Rachel: Okay. Uhh, Ross, y'know what, there's something that I-that I have to talk to you about and everybody's saying that I shouldn't tell you, but I think they're wrong. I mean, and you know how people can be wrong.
Phoebe: I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail, so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most. And it's not even born yet. It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. (pause) I'm sorry, you were fighting.
Frank Jr.: Yeah, I really cherish these moments, 'cause before you know it, they're gonna be awake again.
RACHEL: No, I know, they're from me. Look you guys this is not good. I mean we have enough trouble with guys stealing our wind without taking it from each other.
Monica: Ok..You know the old classics you know,You look nice? They're still ok.
[Scene: Rachel's new job, she's in her new boss's office (Kim's) and with the other assistant (Nancy). Together they're deciding what clothes to buy or something, who knows, let's all watch/read to find out.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still watching TV. Phoebe stands in front of the TV.]
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, they're entering to find boxes strewn about the apartment.]
Joey: Hey! I'm in, they're gonna let me audition!
Monica: Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head!
Rachel: (entering, interrupting them) Hey guys! What's... (sees what they're doing and stops, the guys are stunned)
Phoebe: I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother.
CHANDLER: Ok, they're coming, shhh. [Runs into Monica's apartment and grabs one last girl to take to his apartment]
Mike: You can't keep a rat in your appartment! They're extremely unsanitary, and they transmit leptospirosis and hantavirus.
Phoebe: (to the squirrel) Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! (The squirrel stares at her.) All right, fine, now I get it. (To the clerk.) Here. (She hands him her coat.) You take it. (To the squirrel.) Are you happy now? I'm cold!
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, they're talking about how this is going to work.]
Phoebe: Ohhh. Thanks Chandler they're great!
RACHEL: Ohh, thank you for my beautiul earrings, they're perfect. I love you.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're in the kitchen as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's room, they've pretty much consumed the entire mini-bar. Needless to say, they're feeling no pain and are still playing blackjack.]
Charlie: You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself. I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral...
Joey: Oh, a couple of nurses asked them out. Maybe they're with them.
Ross: Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or...(There's one of those moments. They're staring at each other, no word uttered, and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him, but he ducks and avoids her more than once.) Oh, oh. (he then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again, he stands up and she falls down on the bed). No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea.
Phoebe: Mate? They're all brothers and sisters.
Joey: We're geniuses! Yeah, look at them, look at them, they're really bonding.
Ross: (yelling to Monica)They're towing your car, they're towing your car!!
Joey: Can you believe they're still not here?
Ronni: Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.
Caitlin: No actually umm, I think that they're umm, gas.
MNCA: See? They're as different as night and... later that night.
JOEY: Ohh, you know what it is? It's smudgy 'cause they're fax pages. Now when I was on Days of Our Lives as Dr. Drake Remoray, they'd send over the whole script on real paper and everything.
RACH: Joey, would you slow down? They're not gonna be sold out of papers at one o'clock in the morning.
Phoebe: Well, they may be a handful, but they're so cute.
Mike: Yeah - not such a problem with rats. No, they're more of a "love the one you're with" kind of animals.
Ross: No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.
[Time lapse, they're still on the ride along and Joey is just sniffing his sandwich.]
Joey: Hard to tell, they're so tiny and upside-down. Wait, wait. They're walking away... they're walking away... No, no they're not, they're coming right at us! Run! Run!
Monica: 'Cause, Gary and Phoebe think they're a hotter couple than we are!
Rachel: Oh, they're real!
Monica: (to chandler) Twenty bucks says they're married within the month.
Rachel: (shouting) Babies don't care if they're slim.
Joey: Yeah, they're great seats too!
Joey: They're ribbed for *your* pleasure.
Monica: Oh! They're late and they're sloppy!
Phoebe: Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey?
Phoebe: Uhm... well, they're not in the wedding.
DR. BURKE: Drops. Here, they're free.
Ross: Wha...? Oh sure, now they lock it, but when they're having sex on the couch, its like: "Come on in, my butt is surprisingly hairy".
Steve: (from kitchen) Ah, cool! Taco shells! (Rachel motions, "You see!") You know, these are... they're like a little corn envelope.
Joey: Yeah, they're stuck inside the table!
Ross: Hey, what do you think they're doing in there?
Phoebe: We're so stupid! Do you know what's going on in there? They're trying to take Joey!
Joey: Oh! They're in the table!
RICHARD: Oh, no, honey, I mean, don't worry, I like hanging out with those guys. It's fun for me. They're different than my other friends, they don't start sentences with, 'You know who just died shoveling snow?'
CAROL: I mean, I knew they were having trouble with this whole thing, but they're my parents. They're supposed to give me away and everything.
Rachel: They're my new 'I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots' boots!
Phoebe: Maybe not! Y'know? Seriously, three babies are a handful maybe they're y'know, looking for a chance to unload one of them. Listen, I-I hate to miss an opportunity just because I didn't ask! Y'know?
DR. BURKE: But they're so dull, they're all opthamologists.
Phoebe: Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
Rachel: Yeah, you know what we should all do? We should play that game where everyone says one thing that they're thankful for.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone except Chandler is there; they're opening their presents]
Ross: It's I just know they're gonna be a couple of windbags wearing tweed jackets with suede elbow patches.
Party Guests: (chanting) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! (Ross goes to investigate the noise) Howard! Howard! Howard! (They're holding Howard above their heads.) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! (He sees Phoebe chanting along with them.) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Yay!!
(She opens the door to reveal Chandler and Ross. Unfortunately, they seem to have their holidays mixed up. They think it's Halloween and they're going as Crockett and Tubbs from that legendary TV show of the late 80's, Miami Vice. God, we looked silly back then!)