words in movies
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
[Time lapse, they're both entering.]
(He searches to his right; she searches to her left. They're both on their hands and knees when they spot the die. It's propped up against the table leg, and it's not lying flat. Both the four and the five are showing.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's room, they've pretty much consumed the entire mini-bar. Needless to say, they're feeling no pain and are still playing blackjack.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck as The King's (Elvis Presley to the yougin's) Viva, Las Vegas begins to play. Sing along with me now, "Viva! Las Vegas! Vivaaaaaa! Vivaaaaa! Las Vegassssss!!" Fade to Black.)
Joey: Oh, they're so cute! Now, what, what kinds are they?
Rachel: Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys.
Chandler: People do stupid things when they're upset.
Frank Jr.: Oh, I think you're right. Oh, wow. Phoebe, I don't think I can give one of them up. I mean, you know, they drive me crazy, but they're my babies.
Ross: Come on, they're gonna love you.
Mr Zelner: Yeah, they're all he talks about, why?
CHAN: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight.
Chandler: Um, ok... the... the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident?
Monica: Where is everybody? They're forty-five minutes late!
CHANDLER: The one time they're not home.
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
PHOEBE: [singing] Sometimes men love women, sometimes men love men, and then there are bisexuals, though some just say they're kidding themselves. la la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
MONICA: No really, they're OK.
Chandler: They're not even paying ya! This doesn't even sound like a real movie!
Monica: (to the guys) Not the way they're doing it. What, what happened? How did she die?
(Just as they're about to leave, Gunther comes out of the back carrying two garbage bags. Larry sees this and stops him.)
Monica: You know, they're not actually supposed to have... (Ross looks at her sheepishly) I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right?
Monica: Oh, they're brochures from different adoption agencies.
Ross: Great, actually. I'm thinking tonight, maybe the night. Yeah, I mean ah, the kids are gonna play together and then when they're asleep, I'm thinking Amanda and I break open a bottle of wine, and do a little "playing" ourselves.
RACHEL: Oh they're in the top drawer. Hurry.
Charlie: Right and then everybody finds out and they're like: "Oh, I knew all along"
Chandler: (peeping) They're out there!
Chandler: They're still just friends, right?
Phoebe: Okay, well I think that they're in my purse. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for them.
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
Phoebe: Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, they're all sitting around and talking.]
Ross: This... this is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of a guy makes... makes... delicate French cookies, huh? They're not even... butch, manly cookies with... with... you know with... with chunks. (takes a careful bite from the cookie)
Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" (Looks at Chandler)
JOEY: Yes! Yeah, it's like they're always saying "let's go here, let's go there". Like we can afford to go here and there.
Chandler: Don't say Richard! Well, if they're not Monica's and they're not yours, then whose are they?
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel and Phoebe are looking at some photos and they're sitting next to the window.]
JOEY: [as they're walking out, Dr. Greene questioningly gestures at the Happy Birthday sign over the door] This is clearly in the wrong apartment. [they all walk across the hall]
RACHEL: Hi. Well hey, you don't - you don't think they're kind of cool?
JOEY: Well, I can't use these forever. I mean, let's face it, they're no friend to the environment.
Rachel: Oh, they're firemen guys.
Monica: Is it like for dinosaur emergencies. 'Help, come quick, they're still extinct.'
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, they're all hanging out in the living room.]
Phoebe: Yeah, ok. I guess you're right. Allright, so we should just give them away. But to nice families, with children, and reduced fat wheat thins. They're Bob's favorites.
MONICA: Joey they're not real. I start miles beneath the surface of these things, ok, they're fake. See [squeezes her breast] honk honk.
[Since they're alone they start kissing and Ross's hands work their way down until they're on Rachel's butt. Rachel starts laughing.]
RACHEL: Oh, well, you know, they're just separated so, you know, never know, we'll see.
Phoebe: Uh huh. But they're not your friends anymore.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still in their chairs watching TV. Chandler is ordering a pizza.]
MONICA: It's not gonna happen. They're doing it tonight, we can do it tomorrow.
Rachel: Hi! You guys, the car-service just got here. I can't believe they're not home yet! I have to catch my stupid plane. I wanna see the baby!
Ross: I- I think they're great! I, I really do.
INTERVIEWER: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?
Rachel: Okay, they are. (No they're not.)
CHANDLER: Ya know Phoebs, don't feel so bad for 'em. After they're done playing, I break out the little plastic women and everybody has a pretty good time.
[Scene: The gate at the airport. The passengers are standing in line, and they're about to board the plane again.]
Rachel: Oh please, they're having sex.
Phoebe: Okay, I wanna be sexy again so I'm trying to catch a cold. It should be easy, supposedly they're pretty common.
[Scene: The ride along, they're all waiting outside of the witness's house and still in the car in the same places as before.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Rachel: Alright, now I really have to go. Okay. Au revoir! Oh, they're gonna really hate me over there.
Chandler: (speaking as in pain) They're never coming down now.
RACH: Joey, honey, they don't know what they're talking about.
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.
Chandler: No, 'Slim Pickings', it's a barbecue restaurant. They're looking for a cook. Actually 'cook' may be a bit of a stretch. They're looking for someone to shovel mesquite.
Roger: Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, um, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love.
Joey: Okay, here's my big scene. My big scene's here! (They have two of the cops on the street, then they cut to where they're entering an apartment.) Oh my God.
Chandler: Yes, but these women are very hot, and they need our help! And they're very hot.
Ross: Yeah, okay, hold on! (He puts the phone down and proceeds to spread a large amount of powder on his legs and makes another attempt at pulling up his pants. It doesn't work, and without picking up the phone leans down to it.) (Almost in tears.) They're not coming on man.
Joey: You mean how they're friends and nothing more? (Glares at Rachel.)
Chandler: See? They're Joey's! J-J-J-J-J-Joey's!
ROSS: No no, you're uh, you're my lobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, they get with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with, with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the whole lobster thing?
RTST: It's like I'm lookin' in a mirror. Anyway, they're called "fishtachios". They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you?
Rachel: They're male nurses.
Joey: Yeah, they're mine.
Ross: Well, they're not mine!
Rachel: Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.
Phoebe: They're gonna call her Chandler.
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
RICHARD: Uh, they're not in it.
LITTLE BULLY: And look where they're sitting.
Susan: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.
Chandler: I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you.
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.
Phoebe: My grandmother has this new boyfriend, and they're both kind of insecure in bed. Oh, and deaf. So they're constantly, like, having to reassure each other that they're having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are!
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
RACHEL: Ok, let me take these cakes back 'cause they're gonna take that out of my paycheck.
Kathy: Okay, I've got some ugly friends, and they're all available too.
Mr. Geller: Of course it did. They're made of wicker.
Joey: They're gonna do it together.
Phoebe: (Phoebe hangs up and someone knocks on the door. She gasps.) They're here already? How are they doing this?
Monica: They're still in my coat.
JOEY: I'm sorry, it's the pigs. they're reluctant to get in the blankets!
[Scene: We're back to the present. Chandler and Monica's. They're all still at the kitchen table.]
Chandler: Well, they're Joey's! They gotta be Joey's!
Chandler: Yeah umm, they're called wallets.
(Chandler enters and sees what they're watching, panics, and runs to turn off the TV.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. The table is set, and there's food on the tables again. They're all there, toasting.]
Ross: Oh, I hope they're not ruined.
Rachel: Because they're people.
Rachel: Yes, but still. They're people with eyes.
[They leave. As they're walking out, the bullies are walking in.]
PRODUCER:They're your backup singers... beind you.