words in movies
Rachel: Allright. Well thank you so much for coming... (they're standing up and make their way to the door)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. They're interviewing Sandy.]
Ross: This... this is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of a guy makes... makes... delicate French cookies, huh? They're not even... butch, manly cookies with... with... you know with... with chunks. (takes a careful bite from the cookie)
RACHEL: No, I know, they're from me. Look you guys this is not good. I mean we have enough trouble with guys stealing our wind without taking it from each other.
Rachel: Okay. Uhh, Ross, y'know what, there's something that I-that I have to talk to you about and everybody's saying that I shouldn't tell you, but I think they're wrong. I mean, and you know how people can be wrong.
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, they're entering to find boxes strewn about the apartment.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still watching TV. Phoebe stands in front of the TV.]
Rachel: (entering, interrupting them) Hey guys! What's... (sees what they're doing and stops, the guys are stunned)
Phoebe: I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother.
Monica: Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head!
CHANDLER: Ok, they're coming, shhh. [Runs into Monica's apartment and grabs one last girl to take to his apartment]
Phoebe: (to the squirrel) Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! (The squirrel stares at her.) All right, fine, now I get it. (To the clerk.) Here. (She hands him her coat.) You take it. (To the squirrel.) Are you happy now? I'm cold!
Mike: You can't keep a rat in your appartment! They're extremely unsanitary, and they transmit leptospirosis and hantavirus.
Ross: Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or...(There's one of those moments. They're staring at each other, no word uttered, and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him, but he ducks and avoids her more than once.) Oh, oh. (he then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again, he stands up and she falls down on the bed). No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea.
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, they're talking about how this is going to work.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're in the kitchen as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's room, they've pretty much consumed the entire mini-bar. Needless to say, they're feeling no pain and are still playing blackjack.]
Phoebe: Ohhh. Thanks Chandler they're great!
Joey: Hey! I'm in, they're gonna let me audition!
RACHEL: Ohh, thank you for my beautiul earrings, they're perfect. I love you.
Joey: Oh, a couple of nurses asked them out. Maybe they're with them.
Phoebe: Mate? They're all brothers and sisters.
Ronni: Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.
Joey: Can you believe they're still not here?
Ross: (yelling to Monica)They're towing your car, they're towing your car!!
Caitlin: No actually umm, I think that they're umm, gas.
MNCA: See? They're as different as night and... later that night.
Joey: We're geniuses! Yeah, look at them, look at them, they're really bonding.
Charlie: You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself. I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral...
JOEY: Ohh, you know what it is? It's smudgy 'cause they're fax pages. Now when I was on Days of Our Lives as Dr. Drake Remoray, they'd send over the whole script on real paper and everything.
Joey: Hard to tell, they're so tiny and upside-down. Wait, wait. They're walking away... they're walking away... No, no they're not, they're coming right at us! Run! Run!
RACH: Joey, would you slow down? They're not gonna be sold out of papers at one o'clock in the morning.
Ross: No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.
Mike: Yeah - not such a problem with rats. No, they're more of a "love the one you're with" kind of animals.
Monica: (to chandler) Twenty bucks says they're married within the month.
Phoebe: Well, they may be a handful, but they're so cute.
[Time lapse, they're still on the ride along and Joey is just sniffing his sandwich.]
Monica: 'Cause, Gary and Phoebe think they're a hotter couple than we are!
Rachel: Oh, they're real!
Joey: They're ribbed for *your* pleasure.
Monica: Oh! They're late and they're sloppy!
Joey: Yeah, they're great seats too!
Rachel: (shouting) Babies don't care if they're slim.
Ross: Hey, what do you think they're doing in there?
Ross: Wha...? Oh sure, now they lock it, but when they're having sex on the couch, its like: "Come on in, my butt is surprisingly hairy".
Steve: (from kitchen) Ah, cool! Taco shells! (Rachel motions, "You see!") You know, these are... they're like a little corn envelope.
Phoebe: Uhm... well, they're not in the wedding.
DR. BURKE: Drops. Here, they're free.
Phoebe: Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey?
RICHARD: Oh, no, honey, I mean, don't worry, I like hanging out with those guys. It's fun for me. They're different than my other friends, they don't start sentences with, 'You know who just died shoveling snow?'
Joey: Yeah, they're stuck inside the table!
Phoebe: We're so stupid! Do you know what's going on in there? They're trying to take Joey!
Joey: Oh! They're in the table!
CAROL: I mean, I knew they were having trouble with this whole thing, but they're my parents. They're supposed to give me away and everything.
Phoebe: Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
Rachel: They're my new 'I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots' boots!
Rachel: Yeah, you know what we should all do? We should play that game where everyone says one thing that they're thankful for.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone except Chandler is there; they're opening their presents]
DR. BURKE: But they're so dull, they're all opthamologists.
Phoebe: Maybe not! Y'know? Seriously, three babies are a handful maybe they're y'know, looking for a chance to unload one of them. Listen, I-I hate to miss an opportunity just because I didn't ask! Y'know?
Ross: It's I just know they're gonna be a couple of windbags wearing tweed jackets with suede elbow patches.
(She opens the door to reveal Chandler and Ross. Unfortunately, they seem to have their holidays mixed up. They think it's Halloween and they're going as Crockett and Tubbs from that legendary TV show of the late 80's, Miami Vice. God, we looked silly back then!)
PHOEBE: I can see that, 'cause they both have those big brown eyes and, ya know, the little pouty chin. MONICA: And the fact that they're both monkeys.
[as they're walking off, little bully grabs Chandlers hat from behind and puts it on himself]
Ross: Yes, I do have a laundry room in my building, um, but there's a.... rat problem. Apparently they're attracted to the dryer sheets, and they're goin' in fine, but they're comin' out all.... fluffy. Anyway, say, sevenish?
[Time Lapse, the gang is now watching Law & Order. By the way, the entire rest of the episode takes place in Monica and Rachel's apartment. Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together? Something to think about.]
Party Guests: (chanting) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! (Ross goes to investigate the noise) Howard! Howard! Howard! (They're holding Howard above their heads.) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! (He sees Phoebe chanting along with them.) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Yay!!
Chandler: Maybe. Unless they're like two people who have lived in apartments next to each other for years, and then one day they're pushed through a vagina and they meet.
Paula: Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they're your friends, they're just looking out after you.
Phoebe: Well, you know what, they're our responsibility now.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, they must have jumped off the table, 'cause now they're gone!
Ross: Then I'm happy too. (They're still hugging - fade out)
Phoebe: Just pretend they're not even here! It's OK Monica, when that spotlight hits you it so bright you won't see anyoneanyway.
Monica: And, and, and they wear those little water wings, you know. And they're, they're running around on the deck. Then Hoyt wraps this big towel around all three of them.
Ross: Totally insane. Dude, let's drive home, we'll hit all the maple candy stores on the way back and if...if they're closed maybe we'll tap a tree and make some ourselves.
JOEY: Ok, let's start with the cons, 'cause they're more fun. All right, Rachel first.
Ross: I don't know, you don't wanna mess with corn nuts. They're craaazy.
Ross: (panting)They're towing a car. And I am seeing...spots.
Joey: They're so small! (Both he and Ross look at them with satisfied looks on their faces.)
Monica: They're in the kitchen getting something to eat. Can you believe how nice they are?
Dr. Mitchell: Willya relax? Look around. No pagan altars, no piles of bones in the corners, they're fine. (Baring his teeth to clean them with his finger) Go like this. (Dr. Rosen obeys.)
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help. That's fine. Go ahead and scoff. You know, there're a lot of things that I don't believe in, but that doesn't mean they're not true.
Rachel: They're in a caaar...
Rachel: They're waiting for me, Ross. I can't do this right now, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Chandler: Yeah but they're right. I mean, I'm not a strong father figure and I never will be.
Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.
[Scene: Central Perk. They're all sitting there as usual, except Joey. Gunther is serving a nearby table.]
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
Monica: Chandler! Everyone--no one's eating my Tuscan finger food 'cause they're all filling up on Phoebe's snow cones!
Chandler: What if they're not? What if it's adopted by a king?
Chandler: We just finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner. I have--and I remember this part vividly--a mouthful of pumpkin pie, and this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they're getting divorced.
JOEY: They're ribbed for your pleasure. [Ross and Monica trade their gifts.]
They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch, and soon they'll grow up and resent you so much. Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why, you cry and you cry and you cry. And you cry and you cry and you cry...
Dr. Franzblau: Ice chips, just ice chips. They're at the nurses' station.
Gary: Yeah well, being that he was the victim, they're usually pretty talkative.
(He searches to his right; she searches to her left. They're both on their hands and knees when they spot the die. It's propped up against the table leg, and it's not lying flat. Both the four and the five are showing.)
Ross: (reading from a notepad) I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given, but if they're off by even a hundred thousand years or so then you can - you can just throw most of our assumptions, you know, right in the trash. (he throws the notepad in the waste bin) So-so what I am saying is - is is that (he picks the notepad back from the waste bin) is that the repercussions could be huge! I mean, not just in palaeontology, but if-if you think about it, in evolutionary biology, uh, genetics, geology, uh, I mean, truly the mind boggles!
Ross: They're still, they're still not coming on man and the lotion and the powder have made a paste!
Ross: Well, because y'know there are certain rules about this kind of stuff. You don't uh, you don't fool around with your uh, friend's ex-girlfriends or possible girlfriends or girls they're related to.
Phoebe: Well y'know every time that they say that like they're doing laundry we'll just give them a bunch of laundry to do.
<Rachel and Amy 'fighting'.. They're really just trying to slap each other and just keep slapping their hands>
Chandler: No, no, no... They're really yours. We... found them in your old room.