words in movies
CHAN: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight.
JOEY: Ok, let's start with the cons, 'cause they're more fun. All right, Rachel first.
RTST: It's like I'm lookin' in a mirror. Anyway, they're called "fishtachios". They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you?
Monica: They're nice guys.
Kristin: You mean they're lovers.
Ross: Well, y'know, these people are pros. They know what they're doing, they take their time, they get the job done.
(The group does the same horrible dance that Joey did earlier in the show, except they're all out of sync and they do the jazz hands at the end.)
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
JOEY: They're takin all my stuff back. I guess you were right.
Phoebe: Okay, they're just talking...
Joey: They're here already?
Carol: But they're not here yet!
Lydia: Yeah, they're not so bad.
Joey: Oh, they're so cute! Now, what, what kinds are they?
Rachel: Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys.
Chandler: People do stupid things when they're upset.
Monica: Where is everybody? They're forty-five minutes late!
Frank Jr.: Oh, I think you're right. Oh, wow. Phoebe, I don't think I can give one of them up. I mean, you know, they drive me crazy, but they're my babies.
Mr Zelner: Yeah, they're all he talks about, why?
Chandler: Um, ok... the... the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident?
Ross: Come on, they're gonna love you.
Monica: (to the guys) Not the way they're doing it. What, what happened? How did she die?
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
CHANDLER: The one time they're not home.
PHOEBE: [singing] Sometimes men love women, sometimes men love men, and then there are bisexuals, though some just say they're kidding themselves. la la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
MONICA: No really, they're OK.
Chandler: They're not even paying ya! This doesn't even sound like a real movie!
(Just as they're about to leave, Gunther comes out of the back carrying two garbage bags. Larry sees this and stops him.)
Monica: You know, they're not actually supposed to have... (Ross looks at her sheepishly) I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right?
Chandler: (peeping) They're out there!
Monica: Oh, they're brochures from different adoption agencies.
RACHEL: Oh they're in the top drawer. Hurry.
Charlie: Right and then everybody finds out and they're like: "Oh, I knew all along"
Chandler: They're still just friends, right?
Phoebe: Okay, well I think that they're in my purse. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for them.
Phoebe: Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!
Ross: Great, actually. I'm thinking tonight, maybe the night. Yeah, I mean ah, the kids are gonna play together and then when they're asleep, I'm thinking Amanda and I break open a bottle of wine, and do a little "playing" ourselves.
Chandler: Don't say Richard! Well, if they're not Monica's and they're not yours, then whose are they?
JOEY: [as they're walking out, Dr. Greene questioningly gestures at the Happy Birthday sign over the door] This is clearly in the wrong apartment. [they all walk across the hall]
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel and Phoebe are looking at some photos and they're sitting next to the window.]
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, they're all sitting around and talking.]
Ross: This... this is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of a guy makes... makes... delicate French cookies, huh? They're not even... butch, manly cookies with... with... you know with... with chunks. (takes a careful bite from the cookie)
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
RACHEL: Hi. Well hey, you don't - you don't think they're kind of cool?
Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" (Looks at Chandler)
JOEY: Yes! Yeah, it's like they're always saying "let's go here, let's go there". Like we can afford to go here and there.
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck as The King's (Elvis Presley to the yougin's) Viva, Las Vegas begins to play. Sing along with me now, "Viva! Las Vegas! Vivaaaaaa! Vivaaaaa! Las Vegassssss!!" Fade to Black.)
JOEY: Well, I can't use these forever. I mean, let's face it, they're no friend to the environment.
Rachel: Oh, they're firemen guys.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, they're all hanging out in the living room.]
MONICA: Joey they're not real. I start miles beneath the surface of these things, ok, they're fake. See [squeezes her breast] honk honk.
Phoebe: Yeah, ok. I guess you're right. Allright, so we should just give them away. But to nice families, with children, and reduced fat wheat thins. They're Bob's favorites.
RACHEL: Oh, well, you know, they're just separated so, you know, never know, we'll see.
Phoebe: Uh huh. But they're not your friends anymore.
[Since they're alone they start kissing and Ross's hands work their way down until they're on Rachel's butt. Rachel starts laughing.]
Ross: I- I think they're great! I, I really do.
Monica: Is it like for dinosaur emergencies. 'Help, come quick, they're still extinct.'
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still in their chairs watching TV. Chandler is ordering a pizza.]
MONICA: It's not gonna happen. They're doing it tonight, we can do it tomorrow.
Rachel: Hi! You guys, the car-service just got here. I can't believe they're not home yet! I have to catch my stupid plane. I wanna see the baby!
Rachel: Okay, they are. (No they're not.)
INTERVIEWER: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?
[Scene: The gate at the airport. The passengers are standing in line, and they're about to board the plane again.]
CHANDLER: Ya know Phoebs, don't feel so bad for 'em. After they're done playing, I break out the little plastic women and everybody has a pretty good time.
Phoebe: Okay, I wanna be sexy again so I'm trying to catch a cold. It should be easy, supposedly they're pretty common.
Rachel: Alright, now I really have to go. Okay. Au revoir! Oh, they're gonna really hate me over there.
[Scene: The ride along, they're all waiting outside of the witness's house and still in the car in the same places as before.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Rachel: Oh please, they're having sex.
RACH: Joey, honey, they don't know what they're talking about.
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
Chandler: (speaking as in pain) They're never coming down now.
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
Roger: Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, um, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love.
Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.
Chandler: No, 'Slim Pickings', it's a barbecue restaurant. They're looking for a cook. Actually 'cook' may be a bit of a stretch. They're looking for someone to shovel mesquite.
Chandler: Yes, but these women are very hot, and they need our help! And they're very hot.
Joey: You mean how they're friends and nothing more? (Glares at Rachel.)
Ross: Yeah, okay, hold on! (He puts the phone down and proceeds to spread a large amount of powder on his legs and makes another attempt at pulling up his pants. It doesn't work, and without picking up the phone leans down to it.) (Almost in tears.) They're not coming on man.
Joey: Okay, here's my big scene. My big scene's here! (They have two of the cops on the street, then they cut to where they're entering an apartment.) Oh my God.
Joey: Yeah, they're mine.
ROSS: No no, you're uh, you're my lobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, they get with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with, with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the whole lobster thing?
Rachel: Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.
Rachel: They're male nurses.
Chandler: See? They're Joey's! J-J-J-J-J-Joey's!
Ross: Well, they're not mine!
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
RICHARD: Uh, they're not in it.
Phoebe: They're gonna call her Chandler.
LITTLE BULLY: And look where they're sitting.
Chandler: I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you.
Phoebe: My grandmother has this new boyfriend, and they're both kind of insecure in bed. Oh, and deaf. So they're constantly, like, having to reassure each other that they're having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are!
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.
Chandler: Well, they're Joey's! They gotta be Joey's!
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
Susan: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.
Mr. Geller: Of course it did. They're made of wicker.
RACHEL: Ok, let me take these cakes back 'cause they're gonna take that out of my paycheck.
Joey: They're gonna do it together.
Phoebe: (Phoebe hangs up and someone knocks on the door. She gasps.) They're here already? How are they doing this?
Kathy: Okay, I've got some ugly friends, and they're all available too.
Monica: They're still in my coat.
[Scene: We're back to the present. Chandler and Monica's. They're all still at the kitchen table.]