words in movies
CHAN: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight.
JOEY: Ok, let's start with the cons, 'cause they're more fun. All right, Rachel first.
RTST: It's like I'm lookin' in a mirror. Anyway, they're called "fishtachios". They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you?
Ross: (reading from a notepad) I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given, but if they're off by even a hundred thousand years or so then you can - you can just throw most of our assumptions, you know, right in the trash. (he throws the notepad in the waste bin) So-so what I am saying is - is is that (he picks the notepad back from the waste bin) is that the repercussions could be huge! I mean, not just in palaeontology, but if-if you think about it, in evolutionary biology, uh, genetics, geology, uh, I mean, truly the mind boggles!
Gary: Yeah well, being that he was the victim, they're usually pretty talkative.
Phoebe: Well y'know every time that they say that like they're doing laundry we'll just give them a bunch of laundry to do.
<Rachel and Amy 'fighting'.. They're really just trying to slap each other and just keep slapping their hands>
<Ross and Rachel are putting baby stuff together like they're going to be going somewhere.>
[The next flashback is from The One Where Eddie Moves In. It's the sequence where Joey and Chandler are both saddened that they're not living together anymore. All By Myself is playing in the background.]
Joey: They're brother and sister!!!
Joey: Yeah! But that is not what they're looking for. (time's finished) OOOH!
Chandler: No, no, no... They're really yours. We... found them in your old room.
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Rachel: Well, you know I'm not surprised. I mean have you seen them together, they're really cute.
Joey: Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen (Phoebe returns and interrupts them.)
Rachel: Well guys tend to get naked before they're gonna have sex.
Chandler: I don't believe they're brother and sister.
Joey: Oh, you know, the writing was good, and the director is good, and... and my co-star's good but they're not as good as me!
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
Phoebe: Ok. Do we have to talk like that then they're not around? (She sees Rachel) Oh, no, no! Listen, is there someone who can fill in for me?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. They're interviewing Sandy.]
Phoebe: No, you can't go there! You know how I feel about these "big massage places"! They're putting people like me out of business!
Rachel: No, honey, they're not, but don't worry, because we are going to find them, and until we do, we are all here for you, ok?
Phoebe: That's weird. (Pause.) I bet they're doing it.
Joey: Nothing major, it's just that, you know, they're not really good enough for you, and you deserve the best.
Rachel: No. But don't worry, I'm sure they're still there.
Joey: (realizing) Oh, that's what she meant! (pause) You know, if they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the MUSE! You know, short for museum, and avoid all the confusion!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're done and come out of their bedroom. Emma is still gone.]
(They all cross they're arms like the Power Rangers do)
Chandler: Oh yeah, they're totally gonna back down!
Monica: What if something gets broken, they're so expensive.
Joey's Doctor: Kidney stones! Now, ordinarily Mr. Tribbiani, we try to break up the stones up with shock waves, but they're to close to the bladder now. Which means we can either wait for you to pass them or else go up the urethra
ROSS: Well, well, they're good.� It's been a while since I've seen you like this.� You, you clean up good.
Chandler: He said...he said, he said that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself! Without any outside help whatsoever.
Rachel: Uhm... you haven't told these guys what they're doing in the wedding yet.
Joey: Come on, they're close.
Monica: Thank you. They're yours.
[Time lapse, they're both entering.]
Ross: No, no, it's okay. Really. They're plenty of people who just see their sisters at Thanksgiving and just see their college roommates at reunions and just see Joey at Burger King. So is, is that better?
Ross: No, they're not.
Phoebe: Yeah, and you have nothing to worry about 'cos they're all crap!
Rachel: (entering) Hi. (To Phoebe) Hey, hi! So uh, Frank and Alice wanted me to tell you that they're still outside making phone calls.
Ross: I told her I'd have to think about it. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to make this kind of a decision? (They're all quiet.) I'm actually asking you!
Phoebe: Okay, they're just talking...
Ross: This is fun. Hey Rach, remember that whole "We were on a break thing?" Well, I'm sorry, will you marry me? (Laughs--whines as he sees that no one is laughing. They're just staring at him in shock.)
Monica: They're nice guys.
Ross: Well, y'know, these people are pros. They know what they're doing, they take their time, they get the job done.
(The group does the same horrible dance that Joey did earlier in the show, except they're all out of sync and they do the jazz hands at the end.)
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
JOEY: They're takin all my stuff back. I guess you were right.
Kristin: You mean they're lovers.
Joey: They're here already?
Lydia: Yeah, they're not so bad.
Carol: But they're not here yet!
Frank Jr.: Oh, I think you're right. Oh, wow. Phoebe, I don't think I can give one of them up. I mean, you know, they drive me crazy, but they're my babies.
Joey: Oh, they're so cute! Now, what, what kinds are they?
Chandler: People do stupid things when they're upset.
Rachel: Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys.
Monica: You know, they're not actually supposed to have... (Ross looks at her sheepishly) I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right?
Ross: Come on, they're gonna love you.
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
PHOEBE: [singing] Sometimes men love women, sometimes men love men, and then there are bisexuals, though some just say they're kidding themselves. la la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
(Just as they're about to leave, Gunther comes out of the back carrying two garbage bags. Larry sees this and stops him.)
Mr Zelner: Yeah, they're all he talks about, why?
Chandler: Um, ok... the... the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident?
Monica: Where is everybody? They're forty-five minutes late!
CHANDLER: The one time they're not home.
MONICA: No really, they're OK.
Monica: (to the guys) Not the way they're doing it. What, what happened? How did she die?
Chandler: They're not even paying ya! This doesn't even sound like a real movie!
Monica: Oh, they're brochures from different adoption agencies.
Ross: Great, actually. I'm thinking tonight, maybe the night. Yeah, I mean ah, the kids are gonna play together and then when they're asleep, I'm thinking Amanda and I break open a bottle of wine, and do a little "playing" ourselves.
RACHEL: Oh they're in the top drawer. Hurry.
Chandler: They're still just friends, right?
Charlie: Right and then everybody finds out and they're like: "Oh, I knew all along"
Chandler: (peeping) They're out there!
Phoebe: Okay, well I think that they're in my purse. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for them.
Ross: This... this is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of a guy makes... makes... delicate French cookies, huh? They're not even... butch, manly cookies with... with... you know with... with chunks. (takes a careful bite from the cookie)
Chandler: Don't say Richard! Well, if they're not Monica's and they're not yours, then whose are they?
Phoebe: Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel and Phoebe are looking at some photos and they're sitting next to the window.]
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, they're all sitting around and talking.]
JOEY: [as they're walking out, Dr. Greene questioningly gestures at the Happy Birthday sign over the door] This is clearly in the wrong apartment. [they all walk across the hall]
JOEY: Yes! Yeah, it's like they're always saying "let's go here, let's go there". Like we can afford to go here and there.
RACHEL: Hi. Well hey, you don't - you don't think they're kind of cool?
Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" (Looks at Chandler)
Rachel: Oh, they're firemen guys.
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
JOEY: Well, I can't use these forever. I mean, let's face it, they're no friend to the environment.
Phoebe: Yeah, ok. I guess you're right. Allright, so we should just give them away. But to nice families, with children, and reduced fat wheat thins. They're Bob's favorites.
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck as The King's (Elvis Presley to the yougin's) Viva, Las Vegas begins to play. Sing along with me now, "Viva! Las Vegas! Vivaaaaaa! Vivaaaaa! Las Vegassssss!!" Fade to Black.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, they're all hanging out in the living room.]
MONICA: Joey they're not real. I start miles beneath the surface of these things, ok, they're fake. See [squeezes her breast] honk honk.
RACHEL: Oh, well, you know, they're just separated so, you know, never know, we'll see.
Phoebe: Uh huh. But they're not your friends anymore.
[Since they're alone they start kissing and Ross's hands work their way down until they're on Rachel's butt. Rachel starts laughing.]
Ross: I- I think they're great! I, I really do.
Monica: Is it like for dinosaur emergencies. 'Help, come quick, they're still extinct.'
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still in their chairs watching TV. Chandler is ordering a pizza.]
Rachel: Okay, they are. (No they're not.)
CHANDLER: Ya know Phoebs, don't feel so bad for 'em. After they're done playing, I break out the little plastic women and everybody has a pretty good time.
[Scene: The ride along, they're all waiting outside of the witness's house and still in the car in the same places as before.]