words in movies
CHAN: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight.
JOEY: Ok, let's start with the cons, 'cause they're more fun. All right, Rachel first.
RTST: It's like I'm lookin' in a mirror. Anyway, they're called "fishtachios". They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you?
[Scene: The ride along, they're all waiting outside of the witness's house and still in the car in the same places as before.]
Rachel: Oh please, they're having sex.
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Rachel: Alright, now I really have to go. Okay. Au revoir! Oh, they're gonna really hate me over there.
Chandler: (speaking as in pain) They're never coming down now.
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
Roger: Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, um, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love.
Chandler: No, 'Slim Pickings', it's a barbecue restaurant. They're looking for a cook. Actually 'cook' may be a bit of a stretch. They're looking for someone to shovel mesquite.
RACH: Joey, honey, they don't know what they're talking about.
Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.
Rachel: Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.
Ross: Yeah, okay, hold on! (He puts the phone down and proceeds to spread a large amount of powder on his legs and makes another attempt at pulling up his pants. It doesn't work, and without picking up the phone leans down to it.) (Almost in tears.) They're not coming on man.
Joey: You mean how they're friends and nothing more? (Glares at Rachel.)
ROSS: No no, you're uh, you're my lobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, they get with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with, with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the whole lobster thing?
Rachel: They're male nurses.
Chandler: Yes, but these women are very hot, and they need our help! And they're very hot.
Joey: Okay, here's my big scene. My big scene's here! (They have two of the cops on the street, then they cut to where they're entering an apartment.) Oh my God.
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.
Joey: Yeah, they're mine.
Ross: Well, they're not mine!
Chandler: See? They're Joey's! J-J-J-J-J-Joey's!
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Phoebe: They're gonna call her Chandler.
LITTLE BULLY: And look where they're sitting.
RICHARD: Uh, they're not in it.
Chandler: I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you.
Phoebe: My grandmother has this new boyfriend, and they're both kind of insecure in bed. Oh, and deaf. So they're constantly, like, having to reassure each other that they're having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are!
Mr. Geller: Of course it did. They're made of wicker.
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
RACHEL: Ok, let me take these cakes back 'cause they're gonna take that out of my paycheck.
Phoebe: (Phoebe hangs up and someone knocks on the door. She gasps.) They're here already? How are they doing this?
Susan: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.
Joey: They're gonna do it together.
JOEY: I'm sorry, it's the pigs. they're reluctant to get in the blankets!
Monica: They're still in my coat.
Kathy: Okay, I've got some ugly friends, and they're all available too.
Chandler: Well, they're Joey's! They gotta be Joey's!
[Scene: We're back to the present. Chandler and Monica's. They're all still at the kitchen table.]
Rachel: Because they're people.
(Chandler enters and sees what they're watching, panics, and runs to turn off the TV.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. The table is set, and there's food on the tables again. They're all there, toasting.]
Ross: Oh, I hope they're not ruined.
Chandler: Yeah umm, they're called wallets.
Rachel: Yes, but still. They're people with eyes.
PRODUCER:They're your backup singers... beind you.
[They leave. As they're walking out, the bullies are walking in.]
ROSS: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. RACHEL: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. [they kiss] ROSS: You're not laughing. RACHEL: This time it's not so funny. [They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.] RACHEL: Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. ROSS: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. RACHEL: Oh, thank God. [Scene: Museum of Natural History. The next morning Rachel and Ross are sleeping in the display under a fur.] ROSS: Hi. RACHEL: Hi you. I can't believe I'm waking up next to you. ROSS: I know it is pretty unbelievaaaaah. RACHEL: What? ROSS: We're not alone. [A church youth group is outside the display watching them] CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are still in their chairs, watching Beavis and Butthead.] [they're laughing along with the show when an alarm goes off] JOEY: Is that the fire alarm? CHANDLER: Yeah. [feels the floor] Oh it's not warm yet, we still have time. JOEY: Cool.
RICHARD: Hey. They're just trying to decide somehting.
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
PHOEBE: Oh yes. Oh and, the part about how they're always like drinking from out pool of inner power, but God forbid we should take a sip.
Interviewer: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?
CHANDLER: Well I do, but uh, Eddie makes them this way and, well they're pretty darn good.
JANITOR: Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
Phoebe: I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy.
Rachel: No-no, they're not very nice people.
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
Monica: Ohhh! Let me see! Oh God, I can't believe this! They're an hour late and they're just staying out there, talking!
Monica: No really, they're OK.
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, they're still arguing about what to name the baby.]
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again.
Rachel: (waving them in his face) Take 'em! (Joey makes a noise and jumps out of the way.) Joey, you can touch them! They're your underwear.
Chandler: So they're going on dates? When?
[Joey just laughs as a third set of flashbacks featuring Chandlers mistakes starts. The first flashback is from The One With The Prom Video. It's Chandler telling Phoebe how much he hates the bracelet Joey bought him. They're both at Central Perk.]
[Scene: Gary and Phoebe's apartment, it's morning and they're both waking up in bed.]
DUNCAN: No, but it'll be OK, they're pretty cool, my brother's straight so. . .
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck.)
Monica: Ok..You know the old classics you know,You look nice? They're still ok.
Frank Jr.: Yeah, I really cherish these moments, 'cause before you know it, they're gonna be awake again.
JOEY: Hey, hey, they're runnin'
ROSS: Well, ya know, they're a little behind the times in Colonial Williamsburg.
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
Phoebe: I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail, so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most. And it's not even born yet. It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. (pause) I'm sorry, you were fighting.
[Scene: Rachel's new job, she's in her new boss's office (Kim's) and with the other assistant (Nancy). Together they're deciding what clothes to buy or something, who knows, let's all watch/read to find out.]
RACHEL: No, I know, they're from me. Look you guys this is not good. I mean we have enough trouble with guys stealing our wind without taking it from each other.
Rachel: Okay. Uhh, Ross, y'know what, there's something that I-that I have to talk to you about and everybody's saying that I shouldn't tell you, but I think they're wrong. I mean, and you know how people can be wrong.
CHANDLER: Ok, they're coming, shhh. [Runs into Monica's apartment and grabs one last girl to take to his apartment]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, they're entering to find boxes strewn about the apartment.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still watching TV. Phoebe stands in front of the TV.]
Rachel: (entering, interrupting them) Hey guys! What's... (sees what they're doing and stops, the guys are stunned)
Phoebe: I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother.
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, they're talking about how this is going to work.]
Mike: You can't keep a rat in your appartment! They're extremely unsanitary, and they transmit leptospirosis and hantavirus.
Monica: Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head!
Phoebe: (to the squirrel) Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! (The squirrel stares at her.) All right, fine, now I get it. (To the clerk.) Here. (She hands him her coat.) You take it. (To the squirrel.) Are you happy now? I'm cold!
Phoebe: Ohhh. Thanks Chandler they're great!
Joey: Hey! I'm in, they're gonna let me audition!
RACHEL: Ohh, thank you for my beautiul earrings, they're perfect. I love you.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're in the kitchen as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Can you believe they're still not here?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's room, they've pretty much consumed the entire mini-bar. Needless to say, they're feeling no pain and are still playing blackjack.]
Joey: We're geniuses! Yeah, look at them, look at them, they're really bonding.
Joey: Oh, a couple of nurses asked them out. Maybe they're with them.
Ross: Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or...(There's one of those moments. They're staring at each other, no word uttered, and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him, but he ducks and avoids her more than once.) Oh, oh. (he then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again, he stands up and she falls down on the bed). No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea.
Phoebe: Mate? They're all brothers and sisters.
Ross: (yelling to Monica)They're towing your car, they're towing your car!!
MNCA: See? They're as different as night and... later that night.
Charlie: You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself. I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral...