words in movies
Joey: Oh well, theyre killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body.
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Monica: Who are they killing off?
Rachel: (They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.
Phoebe: Yeah That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. (They both get up.)
(They edge closer to the phone on the table.)
Joey: Ms. Monroe (She slaps him) Oh there you go. (She storms off, leaving Joey standing next to Dina. They share a nod at the ferocity of the slap they just received.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier. They both get up and move to the window.]
Cecilia: (walking up) Youre absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They dont know exactly when its going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and thats it.
Joey: No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Joey: Yeah! Okay. (He puts his hands on her face and they kiss.)
Cecilia: That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands maybe a little off, they should be maybe right like (She grabs the back of his neck and kisses him passionately causing them to fall onto the couch.)
(They walk into the living room.)
Phoebe: Hmm, they just dont make em like that anymore!
Rachel: (turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.
Joey: They sent me todays script! They never send the script!
Cecilia: They dont?
Fredrick: Thank you sweetheart. (They clink glasses.)
Dina: I cant believe shes really gone. Look around you, all of this is ours. (They move into kiss but; theyre stopped by Joey entering with a huge bandage wrapped around his head.)
(They kiss and both put their hands on the others face like Jessica would do.)
Ross: Science. Yeah, I think I've heard of that. (everyone's interest is piqued, they all look over)
Rachel: See? Yeah, you told me the story. He and Monica dated when they broke up they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised that you would stay his friend and what happened? He got phased out!
(They go around the last row of bookshelves and find a couple doing what college coeds do in secluded corners of university libraries. For those of you who dont know what Im talking about, lets just say that clothing is undone. Ross gasps and the couple gets up and runs away.)
(They all laugh.)
Lauren: Oh but then, they went and dropped you down that elevator shaft.
Rachel: Oh, it is so unfair. It's like that time they promoted Sandra over me at work.
[Scene: Outside. They are a bunch of people arranging chairs, shoveling snow and making other preparations.]
Joey: (holding a box) Well, remember when they got in that big fight and broke up and we were all stuck in her with no food or anything? Well, when Ross said Rachel at the wedding, I figured it was gonna happen again, so I hid this in here.
Monica: But you should eat them now because theyre hot from the oven.
Rachel: Ross, what are you talking about? (she sees the cake) oh! Oh my God! They put my baby’s face on a penis!
(They both walk off the court.)
Chandler: Thanks. (they kiss) I'll see you New Year's Day.
Chandler: And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. (She glares at him.) Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet.
(they start to get ready, but then Phoebe enters through the door from Ross's room)
(They hug.)
(They hug.)
Joey: Yeah! Good night! (they give each other a small kiss on the mouth, and stare at each other for a while)
Monica: I love you too Chandler. (They kiss.)
(They all turn and glare at Ross.)
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
Director: (To Cameraman) Make sure you get this, theyre gonna want it for the bloopers show. (To everyone) Alright cut! Listen up everyone, when we start again its gonna be the countdown to new years, so I wanna see everybodys excitement.
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry. Shoot, they were doing it before.
INTERVIEWER: Are they, uh, firm?
(They shake hands.)
RICHARD: Now I do. [they kiss and fall to the bed]
(Zack comes out of the bathroom. They all sit down at the table.)
(They go inside.)
[They start kissing.]
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, its not like I dont have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But theres a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, youve (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)
(They turn to look at each other and suddenly remember that they did in fact get married.)
(Just as they start to get up, Joey walks in.)
(They all walk over to get a slice.)
MONICA: Listen, um honey, I appreciate this but you don't have to keep hanging out with them for me, I mean, they have each other.
Monica: Yeah. (They hug.)
Joey: Yeah-yeah-yeah, and they had that beer! That uh
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
(They all get up to leave.)
Phoebe: (Phoebe hangs up and someone knocks on the door. She gasps.) They're here already? How are they doing this?
(They all start out.)
Joey: They want me to be totally naked in the movie!
(They do it again.)
(As they approach the door, Chandler comes out carrying his duck.)
Joey: Or maybe it's because this guy's doing so good they wanna put more people on it. (Chandler pours some juice in a glass.) You should see this guy, Chandler, he goes through two bottles a day.
Ross: The ride broke down. So, Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical Dutch children... then they fixed the ride, and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom.
Monica: Yes, they are. The Blymens invited them.
Phoebe: You were great. But they still made fun of you.
Monica: Look at you! Come here! (They hug.) Feel better?
CHANDLER: Oh, sure, they love us over there.
(Charlie and Rachel arrive. They see David and Phoebe leave)
ROSS: I am really not going. I don't get it. They already live together, why do they need to get married?
[Reset, theyre about to start the scene when Katie suddenly jumps up startling Jennifer.]
Rachel: All right! Who's are they? Who's are they?
ROSS: Emotional hell. So, did they lend you the money yet?
(They both sit down.)
(they start playing again; suddenly Monica hits the table with her hand)
CHANDLER: Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.
Phoebe: Oh, they love your casserole.
Monica: (To Chandler) Did you hear that?! They bumped them up to first class because they are on their honeymoon! Come on! Lets act like were on our honeymoon.
Phoebe: Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash! And then they give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401K. But you know... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes!
Rachel: Come on. (they start to leave) Oh! And, uh, by the way....
Ross: I cant believe in four weeks theyre gonna be married!
Phoebe: (spitting the cookie out onto a napkin) Oh, sweet Je(Beep)sus! Oh! Monica, these are the (laughing) cookies they serve in hell!
Gary: Its candy time! My roommate says that they taste like little drops of heaven.
(They all run over to Joey and Ross, Chandler grabs the movie and reads the title.)
PHOE: You're right, you're right. Ah, you are so yumm. [they hug]
Phoebe: Then keep running. (They resume the chase.)
(They throw the ball back and forth once.)
(They follow him and meet him in the hall coming out of his apartment carrying a sweater.)
Joey: Yknow, if they knew what they were doing they probably didnt give you real names either.
(They start thinking.)
Monica: (on phone) Could you please tell me what this is in reference to? (Listens) Yes, hold on. (To Rachel) Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account.
Monica: Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So
Kim: No-no-no, we'll move you just stay right there. (They walk away.)
ROSS: Monica, Monica, you could come in straddling him, they still wouldn't believe it. [opens door] We're here.
Monica: Me too. (they all leave)
(They both sprint to what used to be their apartment.)
(As the camera passes by, they start to dance really rigid, but the camera is facing the other way.)
Joey: Oh no-no Rach, please, dont be sorry. Okay? Dont be sorry. (They hug again.) Yknow I was only kidding you.
Chandler: You say that now, but it could take us a long time to get back home. Plus Joey could get lost and and they could have to page us to go pick him up.
Ross: You-youre gonna get married?! I mean Were gonna be brothers-in-law! (They hug.)
Rachel: No one! They are my friends, I wouldnt punch any of them.
Roger: Well, I'm not I'm not at all surprised they feel that way.
Chandler: (looks at what she's holding and shies away) Oh dear God, they gave us glasses!
PHOEBE: OK. [they kiss] OK, alrighty, let's play some tunes. Hi everybody, I'm Phoebe
Monica: Oh, sweetie! (They all hug.)
Chandler: Thanks. (They hug.)
(they walk over to the sink and discuss it for a moment)
Chandler: Yeah. (they both notice where his hands are)
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
Chandler: Oh, yeah, I dont know what they were doing, but at one point sea turtles actually came up to the house.
Rachel: Okay, thank you. Thatll be all. (The mail guy leaves and Tag starts to follow, but Rachel stops him.) (Excitedly) Wait! Wait! (Rushes over and closes the office-door.) Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. (They kiss.)
Monica: Forget it. (they all turn and listen to Billy and Robin)
(They both bounce back into the bathroom.)
Ross: Theyre not listening too me?
Ross: Hey, theyre going to the gym together! Two women! Stretching! Yknow they-they take a steam together! Things get a little playfuldidnt you see Personal Best?
Ross: Phoebe! (They hug.)
(Monica and Ross indicate that they mean right now.)
(They both exit.)
Chandler: They are needy, they are jumpy, and you can't tell what they are thinking, and that scares me a little bit.
Joey: They do that a lot. Hey, you want a beer?