words in movies
Joey: Oh well, theyre killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body.
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Monica: Who are they killing off?
Rachel: (They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.
Phoebe: Yeah That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. (They both get up.)
(They edge closer to the phone on the table.)
Joey: Ms. Monroe (She slaps him) Oh there you go. (She storms off, leaving Joey standing next to Dina. They share a nod at the ferocity of the slap they just received.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier. They both get up and move to the window.]
Cecilia: (walking up) Youre absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They dont know exactly when its going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and thats it.
Joey: No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Joey: Yeah! Okay. (He puts his hands on her face and they kiss.)
Cecilia: That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands maybe a little off, they should be maybe right like (She grabs the back of his neck and kisses him passionately causing them to fall onto the couch.)
(They walk into the living room.)
Phoebe: Hmm, they just dont make em like that anymore!
Rachel: (turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.
Joey: They sent me todays script! They never send the script!
Cecilia: They dont?
Fredrick: Thank you sweetheart. (They clink glasses.)
Dina: I cant believe shes really gone. Look around you, all of this is ours. (They move into kiss but; theyre stopped by Joey entering with a huge bandage wrapped around his head.)
(They kiss and both put their hands on the others face like Jessica would do.)
Joey: What did they do?
MONICA: They love each other, and they wanna celebrate that love with the people that are close with them.
Phoebe: I dont know, they both want to live in a house of cheese! I dont know how you fight that.
[Cut back to the TV, the cops are leading Dr. Wesley out, and as they pass Remoray and Wesley exchange evil glances.]
Dr. Long: No-no. Contractions can be unnerving if you dont know what they are, but shes fine.
Monica: Thats a good idea! I bet they have one of those wind machines! Yknow (Does the whole hair blowing in the wind model type poses.)
(They hug. And quickly that hug turns into a heated make out session, right there on the waiting room couch. Chandler, Rachel, and Monica quickly make their exits.)
{Transcibers note: Ill finish that one for those of you who dont know what theyre talking about. Where the towels are Hers and Hers and His, Threes Company too! Yeah, thats the theme song for Threes Company.}
Joey: I did that too! They wouldnt give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again theyd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them Im missing a ring!"
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it, before someone gets really hurt! (they stop and Phoebe gets David's jacket and gives it to him) Here David, you should just go.
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)
MONICA: What if they get mixed up?
Chandler: You dont have to stop having fun just because Im here. Kathy didnt cheat on all of you. (To Joey) Well, except you. (They hug and Chandler goes into the bathroom with the chick and duck following him.)
[they sit at the couch]
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
Monica: Chandler that's crazy! If you give up every time you'd have a fight with someone you'd never be with anyone longer thanOhhh! (They both realize something there.)
Phoebe: Come on you know what to do! You hire the first one! You dont hire an assistant because theyre cute, you hire them because theyre qualified.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, continued from earlier. Chandler and Kathy are still kissing, then they stop suddenly.]
Phoebe: You guys you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldnt be living in an apartment.
(They all stand up and go over to Phoebe to feel the baby, preventing Rachel from kissing Joshua.)
Monica: Yeah, they were just slowing me down. Alright, I have to get back to the babies. I'll see you girls later.
Chandler: (nods his head) Do you mind if we stick you in another cabinet? (to Joey) They seem all right with it!
Monica: Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?
ROSS: Okay.� (They sit.)� So, um, Phoebe tells me you, ah, you play piano.
(They all start out, Rachel gives each one a kiss, and says "bye." In the hall, Joey says )
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
PHOEBE: I know. We didn't do any of the romantic things I had planned, like having a picnic at Central Park and ya know, coffee at Central Perk. Oh I just got that. [They kiss.]
(They run to the bed, sit down, and start making out again.)
[Scene: The Hospital, Monica and Rachel are waiting for the doctors to arrive. They enter and are played by Noah Wyle and George Clooney.]
JOEY: Ahh, alright, alright, alright, I was young and I just wanted a job, OK. But at the last minute I couldn't go through with it so they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can't 'cause there's people havin' sex on it.
Rachel: That's what I said! Thank you for being so nice. (They hug.)
Joey: Well maybe I got a little upset and maybe I told them where they could go.
Phoebe: Now Ben, sometimes people may seem like jerks on the outside, but they have famous fathers.
Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" (Looks at Chandler)
(They put on their glasses and try to find their way to their seats.)
Joey: Oh, ‘They are warm, nice, people with big hearts’.
Ross: Okay. Okay. (They hug.) Okay.
Phoebe: What? (He leans in to kiss her.) Oh. (They kiss and Phoebe pauses.) Ooh. (Pause) Whoa! That one kept going. (Exits.)
Joey: Okay. Rachel and Phoebe are already there, okay? So they probably started without us. We could just slip in and no-one needs to know where we were! (he raises his hands and on his right one there's a Rangers foam finger)
Monica: Are you trying to tell me that were moving to Oklahoma, or that youre gay? All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise?
Phoebe: Oh, hi. (They shake hands.)
Phoebe: No! Think about it, its a taxi that people take when they need to relax, its
Phoebe: Um-hmm, yeah. They left me a message; they should be here any minute.
Mr. Kaplan: Come on over here, sweetheart. (they walk over to a storage closet)
(They both start squishing the tomatoes.)
(They start kissing again, but are interrupted by the phone.
Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. (Phoebe and Ross glare at him astonished) I mean synchronized swimming. (they continue to glare) I mean- I mean the balance beam. (to Ross) Help me!
Monica: Yeah. (they kiss) What d'you wanna do tonight?
(They all gasp)
Ross: Neither will I. (they both put back the brownies.)
(They all start laughing at him)
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Monica: Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me. (Chandler grunts.) Okay, you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesnt matter. All right? I married you! So I want to dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on. (They go onto the floor.) Just try not to move your feet at all. (Chandler starts to get into the groove and bust a move.) There you go.
Robert: (running in) Oh, there they are! I-I dropped my keys.
(They walk passed each other, Ross towards the door, Chandler towards the counter, suddenly they turn around to face each other)
Ross: Oh, man, I'm not going to be able to handle this. (pause) Now I know how my students feel at the end of each year. And why they act out by giving me such bad evaluations.
Ross: All right. (They start up the stairs. Ross is first.) Okay, here we go!
Phoebe: Well, I don't know if that's such a good idea. They clearly don't want to be with us.
(They notice that a woman is sitting by their door)
Chandler: (peeping) Everything is so distorted! Looks like Joey has a giant hand! Which says "Rangers" on it. They went to the game!
Chandler: Well, I guess thats why they call it psychology, sir.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is sitting on the chair, and theyre all talking.]
Monica: Hey. Its three in the morning. They dont know that Ive come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
Joey: Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to.
Rachel: (regretful) I'm sorry, too! (they look at each other sadly, then she recollects, and puts her hands over her eyes) OH GOD! I shouldn't have said anything!
(They do the lame cool guy handshake. They look at each other, and then they hug.)
Phoebe: No, nothing like that. I was just...such a dummie. I taught this "massage-yourself-at-home-workshop." And they are.
(they all tear off the wrapping paper)
Pete: Lights. (The lights turn on, once again theyre too bright.) Uh, romantic lights. (The lights dim.)
[They all start fighting with each other.]
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Joey: Y-y-yeah! (As they start to leave, Rachel pauses and steals a vase with flowers in it.) Yeah you do. (They exit.)
Ross: Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.
Phoebe: Yes, yes I do. God, oh its just perfect! Wow! I bet it has a great story behind it too. Did they tell you anything? Like yknow where it was from or
BARRY: Yeah, what are they gonna say you didn't love me anymore. Come on.
Joey: Hey! Im an (does the quote-marks thing as well) actor too! Im not sure. I think theyre taking the ferry out to some Italian place on Staten Island.
GUNTHER: Oh, that's too bad. How'd they do it?
(They start to kiss, and Ross rushes into the office to break it up.)
Joey: I dont know. Just uh, just tell em it was a mix-up with the invitations, orNo-no-no! Blame it on the post office. They hate the post office. And the Irish! But I dont think you can blame it on them so (He dials the phone and hands it to Monica.)
Monica: Well I dont have them either. Where are they?
(They enter Joey and Rachels to find that Joey has broken Chandlers chair.)
Joey: Okay, uh sit down. (they do) Um theres this woman that I like. A lot. But, uh it cant happen.
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Ross: (entering) Hey, guys! (They both notice his new little friend)
Susan: What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?
Phoebe: (to Monica) Look, look, I have elbows! (They scream.)
PHOEBE: OH!! Oh I thought they were just watching me. You know, like at, like at an aquarium, ya know.
Chandler: Well, youre welcome. And tell them were really glad theyre coming.
(They both break into a huge laugh and do that stop motion thing they had at the end of ChiPs.)
Charlie: Shall we? (they sit down and Benjamin takes Ross' chair).
Ross: Thank you. (they shake hands) All right, here I go. Hey, remember how scary it used to be going up to girls in college?
Phoebe: Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen. They adopted a kid. I'm sure they'd help you.
Rachel: Well, they always called.
Alice: None the less. Umm, youre too young to, to really know what you want. (They embrace in a passionate kiss.)
Phoebe: Wow! Oh you can just imagine that this is where (Shes opening and closing the drawers) they kept all the stuff to make their potions.
Monica: Because theyll know weve been listening.
Phoebe: Oh my God, they took my idea!
Rachel: Chick and the duck? Didn't they die...
Chandler: Yeah. (they start to leave)