words in movies
PHOEBE: Yeah and oh, and but there's, there's wind and the wind can make us Goddesses. But you know who takes out wind? Men, they just take it.
PHOEBE: Ya-huh, all the time, cause they are the lightning bearers.
JOEY: My animals. Hey the guy said they suited me, he spoke with an accent, I was all confused. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
JOEY: Ah, it's career stuff. I don't know if you heard but they killed off my character on the show.
GUNTHER: Oh, that's too bad. How'd they do it?
RACHEL: Well not when they find out you slept with Jason Hurley an hour after he broke up with Monica.
CHANDLER: Welcome home man. [they hug and jump around]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are hauling out the porcelain dog from Joey's room. Chandler is holding the dog by the rear in a rather interesting position.]
(They both turn and give him a dirty look.)
Monica: So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know theyre going at it right on the bathroom floor.
Joey: Hey! Its my fashion girls! (They dont react.) Whats wrong?
Mrs. Geller: Not that old crow, my mother. (They stop and she kisses Monica on the cheek.) Congratulations darling.
Kid: No! No! (They start to fight over it.)
Joey: Yeah? That's so nice! (They hug.)
Phoebe: (to Joey) What, what are they talking about?
Chandler: Nah, Monicas watching some cooking show. Come on, I dont want to miss when they were skinny.
Phoebe: They are awfully boxy...
(They hug.)
Hillary: Yes. Theyre insanely white.
Joey: Good night! (they give each other a kiss again, but this time it lasts longer)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are watching a Miracle Wax info-mercial.]
Ross: I mean, you just went out with my best friend, and I just think it'd be a really really bad idea. (pause) Or-or not! (they kiss passionately)
Dr. Green: So! (they both try to sit next to Rachel but Dr. Green is successful.) (to Ross) Hows the library?
Rachel: Hey, do you believe this? Do you believe they are actually getting married?
(They hug.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there again, only now theyre not talking to each other. Phoebe is loudly stirring her coffee.]
Joey: Oh hey whoa-whoa, dont worry. Okay. When my sisters were pregnant they got every weird feeling in the book, it was always nothing.
Chandler: Damn those robots, theyre supposed to be our faithful servants!
(They all leave.)
(They all cross they're arms like the Power Rangers do)
Chandler: Okay. (They kiss again.)
(They all gasp and clutch each other.)
Monica: That is the unusual activity. Look, they just wanna see if you're okay.
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Monica: Okay, this is the den. All right, check this out. Lights! (the lights turn on automatically, but are very bright) Whoa! All right. Less lights! Bad lights! Lights go away! (they dim) Oh, see you just need to find the right command.
Phoebe: Hmm, they just dont make em like that anymore!
Ross: (They kiss and the phone rings and machine picks it up, its Ross putting on an accent pretending to be Vicrum) This is Vicrum.
Ross: Theyre not a couple!
Phoebe: Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down? I mean, that was just mean.
JULIE: So is there like a story or do they just stard doing it right. . . oh, never mind.
Chandler: I don't get it neither, I mean you're obviously desperate, you're asking women how they want to be killed
Chandler: Oh, well, ah... maybe thats because theyre ah... jealous, of us.
(They do so, and Phoebe gets in the middle, closes her eyes, and starts spinning in a circle.)
Monica: Well, theyre just gonna have to wait arent they? Ive only got two hands!!
Dr. Roger: They have parasites?
Chandler: I love you too. (Monica and Chandler kiss. He turns to Joey.) And... I like you as a friend. (They hug and pat each other on the back.)
(They kiss, finally)
Barry: Careful! They haven't quite taken yet.
Rita: Oh! (they shake hands)
Phoebe: They have the best stuff in there.
Monica: Well umm, they both have a egg yolk and butter base, but a bearnaise has shallots, shirvel, and most importantly tarragon.
Monica: Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could- (To Ross) -I'd want yours.
Ross: Do they wait for me to do this?
Ross: No. (they clink glasses and drink)
Phoebe: And! And, theyre gonna have a baby! (The gang is shocked.) And! And, they want me to grow it for them in my uterus. (The gang is stunned into silence.)
Rachel: Oh God, it says he was hit by an ice cream truck and dragged for nine-(turns over the note)-teen blocks. Oh. (They all come out from Monica's bedroom) Oh my God.
Rachel: I’m telling you guys, we followed them out to a house in Westchester, the went in for like forty-five minutes and then they came out looking pretty happy!
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
Chandler: Okay, its not a check. Theyre saying your health insurance expired because, you didnt work enough last year.
Monica: I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. (Joey laughs and Monica glares at him.)
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
MONICA: Look. [they look at Joey in the kitchen with a cigar in his mouth, looking at his reflection in a spatula] Joey, do you know we can see you from here?
Monica: No. It was painful. Oh my God , they should call it Pain-zine, now with a little wax.
Rachel: Well, sure, but they might think its kinda weird considering I dont work there anymore.
Rachel: Yeah but how do I start? I mean, whats-whats the first thing that I say? (They all pause to think.) Okay great! Thanks. (She starts to leave.)
Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn�t worry, they shan�t be long.
Phoebe: So you like the drums! That's, that's great! Yknow, I was worried, that, you know, they would maybe an unbearable living situation. All right, okay, well, apparently not! So, yay!
Rachel: Come on! They rushed into this thing so fast its ridiculous! I mean, theyre gonna be engaged for like what? A year? And somewhere along the way, one of them is gonna realise what theyve done and theyre call the whole thing off. Im telling ya, youre gonna be dancing at my wedding before youre dancing at theres.
Ross: people (shakes head, they sit) so why you all dressed up.
Emily: I still cant believe theyre tearing it down. It really is the most lovely building youll ever see. I mean its over (She stops suddenly, when she sees that demolition has already started.) Oh my God!
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
Rachel: Oh, I wanna quit, but then I think I should stick it out, then I think why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job, just because its remotely related to the field theyre interested in.
(They start dancing and Chandler starts slipping around.)
Rachel: No, really. Really, Pheebs, youre not gonna be the one worrying about saving for college, or yelling at them when theyre bad, yknow, or deciding to put them on Ritalin when they just wont calm down. Yknow?
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Rachel: See? Why, Gavin, why? Right when I'm about to change my opinion of you, you go and you ... (he kisses her) and you do that ... (they kiss again)
Joey: Okay. Okay. Umm Ooh! Oh-oh, I got something. Its this story I came up with, very romantic. I swear any woman that hears it; theyre like putty.
Joey: (smiling) Oh, they cut me out of the show.
(He starts to put his pants on, but Rachel manages to drag him to the chair. When they get to the chair, Chandler drops his pants and knocks the chair away. Rachel then backs him up and locks him to the top drawer of a filing cabinet.)
(They kiss.)
Monica: And they weren't looking at you before?!
Joey: Ah! Okay, well then you dont judge me. Im gonna suck on the cellophane from the brownie I had before. (They both do as they planned.)
(They leave as Ross stares in awe at Joey.)
Chandler: Awww. (They hug) Bye!
Janine: Cant wait! (They each go into their respective apartments.)
(A man carrying a box of bananas walks past them. They stare for a minute and then hobble after him)
Chandler: Yknow sometimes the good ideas are just right in front of you, arent they?
Chandler: Theyre twins!
Joey: Oh, they're so cute! Now, what, what kinds are they?
Doug: Tomorrow night it is then, I should be out of court by six. They keep throwing these sexual harassment cases at me and I keep knocking them out of the park!
Chandler: It's wrong. They made a mistake. They think we're somebody else.
Rachel: Okay. (They start to head for the bedroom) Oh wait! Umm, did you send those contracts to Milan?
Joey: What theyre not invited?! Oh no, thats terrible! Theyre gonna be crushed!
Chandler: Dont worry, Im brave! I am brave! I I am brave! (They get to the door and Monica goes to open it.) No-no-no-no!! (He stops her.) (Through the door.) Can you tell me who is there please?
Chandler: Somebody wanna help me, tryin' to rip out my heart. (they pull her hand off of him) Uh, that's great. (looking around) Anybody seen a nipple?
Monica: Come here. (He does, and they kiss.) Okay, be right back.
Joey: And I gotta pay rent! Look, how-how about this? You dont fire me, instead I stay here, I gain their trust, and theyll start listening to all the nice things Ive been saying about you.
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
[Time lapse, they have set up a little assembly line for diaper changes. Phoebe wipes, Chandler adds the powder, begrudgingly, and Monica puts the diaper on.]
(They both grab him and stop him.)
Phoebe: Theyre just talking, and yknow what? Just because I think theyre soul mates doesnt mean anythings gonna happen.
(They all laugh and Joey joins them, not to be left out. When the laughing dies down, he has a depressed look on his face.)
Rachel: I Well, I dont think they need any help.
Kristin: That's funny. Who are they?
Monica: No, I cant afford this either. No. I-I-Im, Im just to figure out which one I want then Im gonna get it at Kleinmans, this discount place in Brooklyn, day after tomorrow they are having a huge sale.
(they continue to play ping pong and then Mike scores, winning the game)
Monica: No, but someones really not going to get over that idea, are they?
Leslie: Come here, come here. (they go to the side of the stage) Okay, dont get mad, okay.