words in movies
(They both leave just as Rachel enters the room, holding a cup.)
Lydia: Oh, boy, do they suck.
Joey: The Celtics? Ha. They couldn't hit a boat if...wait. They suck, alright?
Monica: No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two?
Joey: You know what the Celtics problem is? They let the players run the team.
Phoebe: Hey, hey, ok, all right, that's it! Get in here. Come on. My god, you guys, I don't believe you. There are children coming into the world in this very building and your negative fighting noises are not the first thing they should be hearing. So just stop all the yelling, just stop it!
Carol: Are they here yet?
Phoebe: (singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.
Guy: Yeah, the Knicks by 10. They suck.
Carol: Where are they?
Rachel: Yeah, honey, they wouldn't miss this.
Chandler: Somebody wanna help me, tryin' to rip out my heart. (they pull her hand off of him) Uh, that's great. (looking around) Anybody seen a nipple?
(They look up towards the vent and wave at Phoebe.)
(They all leave but Ross, but they all come back a few seconds later. They make faces at the baby.)
Chandler: Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers?
Rachel: Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! (They both just stare at her.) Okay, dont believe me, I know Im rightdo you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there including Janice, theyre watching Happy Days.]
Eric: I dont think they have a name for it. Its just I get nervous; I start sweating like crazy.
(They start towards the door but are stopped when Mr. Zelner enters.)
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Monica: Rachel, (they go back inside) say that I'm friends with her, we spend some time together. Is that so terrible?
Monica: Sweetie, I think the glasses look great. They make you look really sexy.
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
(Phoebe buttons her lip, while the rest of the gang pretend theyre not there.)
Ross: Excuse me sir, you've got a little something right here. (He points to the corner of his mouth and they both laugh.)
(They open their eyes and are stunned at the van.)
Ross: At least they knew what yours was. Y'know, yours had a name.
Ross: No. No. No, I'm-I'm glad you did. Look, if nothing else, it's-it's always great when someone tells you they love you.
Chandler: (angrily) I dont think thats what they were talking about Joe!!
Phoebe: But they shouldn't happen, you know what, you're, you're in a terrible, terrible business. Oh God, I don't wanna be the person who makes your face look like that.
Chandler: (thinking it over) Well, I did put a lot of thought in the tape. (They both run into the bedroom.)
Monica: (gasps) Oooh! They are in for a world of pain!
RACHEL: I know, I know, I know, I know. I was just thinking about when they were there the last time, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. OK, OK, look, woah, I promise, I'm good, I'm not gonna laugh anymore. OK put your hands back there.
Monica: Bye. (They resume their previous positions.)
Chandler: Bad news. I watched the tape and passed it along to my bosses and they weren't interested.
Chandler: I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you.
Kathy: (outside the door) No. (Chandler opens the door and they kiss again.)
Phoebe: Okay. (they start to leave, he is still following her) Okay, you don't have to walk behind me any more.
Rachel: Ralph Lauren called again and they offered me more money.
(They almost kiss and then Joey realises her kids are staring at them)
Monica: All right, Chandler can make boxes, Ross can wrap, and Joey can lift things. Now Phoebe, go tell the guys they have to help out!
Monica: Are you serious? (they all look) Oh my God.
(They all go over and hug Phoebe.)
Joey: I know! I know! And Im going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They Theyre like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I I dont think we can be together. It just, it just cant work. It cant. (Starts to break up) Im very upset.
Chandler: They got a breakfast buffet.
Janice: Im telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say theyre gonna be there until they start their real family.
Phoebe: Ohh, they gave me a great spot. Right by Macys. Yeah, they hardly ever give such a good spot to a rookie, but Im the only one who can sing "Merry Christmas" in 25 languages. (She smirks.) I lied.
Joey: All right! All right! Enough! Enough! Enough!! Enough! (To Chandler and Monica) You two go home! I-I-I gotta talk to Janine! (They start to leave.)
Monica: Wait a minute, why dont you just call Mark. (they both look up in shock) I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, youve got to make stuff happen.
Monica: Hes retiling my floor. (they both run to the bathroom)
(They both start laughing. They look at each other, stop and step apart a little bit.)
[He kisses her on the cheek, she returns the kiss, then they embrace in a full on kiss]
Joey: Yeah? Well, I dont want to talk to you Wayne! I hate you! You ruined my life! Oh, Chandler, Wayne. Wayne, Chandler. (They shake hands.)
(They all run and join her at the window.)
Joey: Listen, drama critics theyre nothing but, but people who couldnt make it as actors. You know what you should do?
Rachel: And yknow what else, oh my God, are they gonna love you.
Chandler: Is this why they dont like me or why you dont like me?
Rachel: Hey! Yknow, sometimes you can do everything right, everyone can wear everything theyre supposed to wear, and one of those little guys just gets through!
Paula: Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy..
Ross: I was their first born! They thought she was barren! Its not my fault.
Monica: Right, you only go for them 5 minutes before they get married.
Chandler: Wow, Ralph Lauren is really going out of there way to show theyre not in the baby buying business.
Chandler: Okay. (They switch places and Chandler gets out a credit card.) So uh, Ross is kinda bummed huh?
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
Phoebe: Ooh! (They all go over to her apartment)
[They run out and knock on Monica and Rachel's door]
JOEY: Supposably. Supposably. Did they go to the zoo? Supposably.
Rachel: Well yknow, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time theyre 40, they marry each other.
Joey: Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, theyre still playing Cups.]
Emily: Well then well get wet. (They kiss.)
(they make as if to go, but Ross notices something)
Phoebe: Dont you just love the way they talk?!
Monica: Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing.
[Cut back to Monica and Chandlers room, they are making out again as theres another knock on the door.]
(They both get out of bed and go get some cake.)
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Joey: All right they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider. (takes a glass from the fridge.)
Rachel: Thank you. (They hug.) Oh Joey and look at this crib! Its so cute!
Tag: Okay. (They sit on the step.)
Monica: I mean, youre the one theyre gonna come to when they wanna run away from home, and the one they talk to about sex.
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Ross: Oh its okay. Theyre just-theyre just wrapping her up.
Phoebe: Yeah! Let's do it! Let's live together! (They embrace and Mike kisses Phoebe) Oh god, we're really going to move in together!
Monica: They gave us a fake number? Why? Why would they do that?
RACHEL: Ahh, so do you, beautiful. [they hug]
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa. Jokes? You guys know they have naked chicks in there, right?
Ross: Cool! (They start kissing again and Chandler looks shocked)
Chandler: If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would have brought more pizza. (they all burst out in a thundering laugh)
Phoebe: Yes, it was! It was him! Uh huh! (they all stare at her) Okay, it was me!
Dave: Yeah, me too. (They reach her door.) So, I guess this is it.
Rachel: Yee. I mean, it was so weirdest thing. They fired me and then out of nowhere they just hire me back! I mean, that place must have been falling apart without me.
Phoebe: Well, they fired me and Im having heart attack.
(Chandler leans back against the wall and Ross and Joey hear him. Ross and Joey both notice at the same time. They slowly stop, and then very slowly turn around to see Chandler staring at them.)
Monica: (starting to cry) Im sorry I almost made you sleep with Ross. (They hug.)
tip the scales in my direction. Check it out, you can probably see it from the window. (They all head to the window.)
Charlie: Oh my God, I completely forgot! (they laugh) Oh my God! I can't believe they let us back in this place! (they laugh more, and Ross start laughing too).
Chandler: Listen, they are really great. If you just got a chance
(They both go to Chandlers bedroom to get his coat.)
Chandler: You know, I don't mind a... male nanny, but I do draw the line at a male wetnurse. (again they laugh, even more fake than before)
Joey: (entering) Look, what am I gonna do? I'm not flirting but still, I'm drawing her to me like - like a moth to a flame! (Tries to put his feet on the coffee table...they won't reach and looks around.) What the hell's going on over here?!?!? (Points to Chandler) Monica's gonna kill you! Look I need your help, I have to do something to-to repel this woman! Wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys repel women all the time.
Chandler: Aww, man! (They go into Monica's room.)
(They run to the bedroom and close the door carefully just as Joey enters.)
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.
Katie: Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. (A blanket.)
(They walk on. Chandler and Joey start to talk but Ross stops and whines.)
Chandler: To the left, to the left- aww! (They all collapse)
Elizabeth: Uh no, theyre still here but I think Im about to leave.
(They click their glasses and take a sip. That sip turns into a gulp, which quickly progresses into their mutual draining of their glasses at once.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, they are admiring the entertainment center]
Monica: ...They threw us out! I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!
Rachel: Oh, its so sad they never had a chance to meet.
Mrs. Geller: They all had a thing for him.