words in movies
Monica: (pinching her) Let's get you out of here!! (they go outside)
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
Phoebe: (shouts after David) Oh! David, get one for us too! Oh, oh, and see if they have a heart-shaped one! And with mirrors on the ceiling!
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
Rachel: Thank you. (they walk away)
Ross: Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace.
Charlie: Oh yeah! Hey, save the cork and then we can fill the bottle with water and put it back so they don't charge you.
Ross: No. (they clink glasses and drink)
Ross: Hey! High-five! (they high-five)
Joey: Yeah. (they leave)
(Ross and Rachel watch them walk away and sigh. They look at each other, embarassed.)
(they hold their hands, gazing at each other)
Phoebe: Yes! (they hug)
Phoebe & Mike: Yeah! (they leave)
(They approach the buffet, where a couple of paleontologists are sipping their drinks)
Mike: They have a game room downstairs! Ping pong and stuff.
Monica: (pleasantly surprised) Ping pong? (to Chandler) Honey, they have ping pong! Let's play!
(They start playing again)
Rachel: (regretful) I'm sorry, too! (they look at each other sadly, then she recollects, and puts her hands over her eyes) OH GOD! I shouldn't have said anything!
(They shake hands, he walks out and shuts the door, then seems to change his mind, moves to open the door, than changes his mind again and leans over the door. Just then, Rachel opens the door)
(they continue to play ping pong and then Mike scores, winning the game)
Ross: Yes, please! (they move and sit down on a sofa) So, what's going on?
(they start playing again; suddenly Monica hits the table with her hand)
(They start playing and Chandler does not suck at all)
Charlie: Are they still looking for us?
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
Ross: I don't think they saw us.
Charlie: I don't think they did.
(They realize that they are hugging closely and he draws back)
(Charlie kisses Ross, they stop for a moment and then he kisses her back)
Ross: I mean, you just went out with my best friend, and I just think it'd be a really really bad idea. (pause) Or-or not! (they kiss passionately)
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
(They go away, trying very hard not to laugh at Chandler)
Joey: Why would they do that?! It was a good show right?!
Joey: They know you know.
Chandler: Love her! That's right, I LOVE HER!!! I love her!! (They walk together and hug.) I love you, Monica.
Monica: I love you too Chandler. (They kiss.)
Joey: (laughs) Yeah! Right! (points at Monica) People eat birds... Bird meat... Now do they just fly into your mouth or you go to... you go to a restaurant and you say: "Excuse me, I'll have a bucket of fried bird." (laughs again) Or... or maybe just a wing or... (realises...)
Monica: Mom says it's all of Manhattan, parts of Brooklyn and Queens, and they have no idea when it's coming back on.
Joey: They break your heart, dont they?
Joey: (whispers to Phoebe and Rachel) Hey, thank you so much. (They both exit.)
(Ross shuts it off and they get out.)
Fredrick: Thank you sweetheart. (They clink glasses.)
(They drive off.)
Ross: I don't remember him, but then again I touched so many lives. (they press their ears against the door)
Phoebe: I know. They were mine.
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.
Joey: Joey. (They shake hands.) Hey Jake, do you like the Knicks?
Rachel: Well, lets see. Uh, they gave me cute doctor today and in the middle of the exam I put my pinky in his chin dimple.
Phoebe: Wow, a year and a half ago I didnt even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay. Stop it, dont. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
Phoebe: What are they?
Rachel: I guess you werent there. (They hug.)
[Cut to Chandler and Monicas as they enter.]
The Director: (stepping in) Excuse me. Excuse me. (to Kate) Sweetheart! (Kisses her.) Come! (They leave.)
All: All right. Okay. I'm starving! (They all get up, thus officially ending the game.)
Phoebe: (looks) Oh my God, youre right! I am too late; theyre sitting on the couch and talking! (To Patrick) Come on! (They go over to the couch.) Rachel?
Mrs. Green: I know, my daughters told me about it when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago.
ROSS: Well, there's no way I'm gonna get a shot. Maybe they can take the needle and thquirt it into my mouth, you know, like a thquirt gun.
(They both step up onto the altar and she notices the rabbi.)
Joey: Why would they take away our keys?
DR. HORTON: No, no, they only said you.
(They both notice that Kristen has left.)
Phoebe: Oh and theyre gonna have a baby.
[Scene: The Porsche, they have pulled over and are awaiting the cop to come talk to them.]
(they all drink from the champagne, but clearly dislike the taste of it)
(They both laugh.)
Rachel: I cant believe theyve been together for three years.
(They frantically start making out.)
The Guys: Ohhhh! (They all look up in a moment of reflection.)
(They all start laughing.)
Phoebe: Wrong? Really? You know the word wrong. Everything isnt perfect? Everything isnt magical? Everything isnt a glow with the light of a million fairies? They were just brake lights, Parker!
(They both walk over to where Rachel is opening her gifts. Rachel sees her first gift is a fruit basket.)
(Monica screams and they all stare at her.)
Mike: Yeah, I'm sure they will, but you don't have to do this... I'm wanting them to get to know Phoebe, not (accent) Phoebe...
Monica: I know. I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy home that they actually liked.
(They walk onto the dance floor and Chandler slips and almost falls.)
(They enter.)
Chandler: You are incredible. Unless, I�I�m not gonna smoke again. And if I do, I promise, I will hide it so much better from you. (they kiss)
Erica: Oh, it was okay. I went to a movie with my cousin and then out for dinner. We went to this place that had... Ooh... (she looks likes she is in pain, holding her belly) Hoo... ooh... Anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers.
[cut to the gang, theyre all stunned]
Rachel: Oh I know. I know. (They hug.)
Monica: They wont be ready for weeks.
Phoebe: Umm, no thank you. (She gets up and moves to the couch. They were at a table previously.)
Joey: All right, I should get going, big day a work. Yknow Im in a coma? Today, they do this test on me and it turns out Im not brain dead.
Rachel: Youre supposed to realize that they are adults! And that they can make their own decisions.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is taking care of Marcel and they are watching a soap opera.]
Ross: What? Rach! Come on, thats terrible! Theyre uh theyre babies. Theyre-theyre all beautiful.
Monica: Theyre my pants!
(They get into position to pull the turkey off.)
(They both go out into the hall.)
(Chandler enters and they both jump up and pretend that Ross is showing her something in the couch.)
(They separate.)
Rachel: I know! (They hug.)
Ross: IThey would not let us get married when we were that drunk!
Phoebe: What?! They took mine to give to you!
Joey: I dont have a key, they took mine to give to you.
Phoebe: Maybe they dont trust us.
Rachel: Of course theyre listening to you! Everybody listens to you.
(They go up to the counter.)
ROSS: Yeah, that way I figure, ya know, we'll be far enough away from our parents that we don't have to see them all the time but close enough that they can come over and babysit whenever we want. And yes, I know, the taxes are a little higher than, let's say, Nassau county but the school system's supposedly great.
Rachel: They do!
Ross: What? What? What?!! Well they should put that on the box!!!
Ross: They gave him a lot of medication, ok? He wouldn't even know if you were there. Look, we'll go see him first thing in the morning, ok?
Ross and Joey: No-no-no-no-no. (They start to turn away, but Phoebe stops them, and turns them back to face her.)
Monica: No, they were really cool. They were on their honeymoon too!
Rachel: Im sorry, they were just all coming at me, and I didnt know what to do.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross is on his date with Kristen and theyre drinking wine.]
Emily: Oh my God! What are you doing here? (They hug)
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Estelle: Yeah, they wanna see you again tomorrow.
(They both sit down.)
Monica: My dad told me. They play golf together.
(She hangs up the phone and they hug.)
Fat Joey: Thanks sweetheart. Give me a little sugar here. (They kiss.) Okay.
Joey: (muffled) Oh, they gave it to me at the sleep clinic, and its gonna help me not to snore.
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. (Chandler and Ross stare at him) What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
(They go inside and Ross closes the door. When he turns around Elizabeth walks up to him, pushes him back against the door, and starts kissing him.)
(They both look at Phoebe.)
(They sit on some front steps.)
Monica: (entering) Hey guys! Do you wanna look at the song list for the wedding? (They ignore her.) Guys?
Frank: Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl. So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into.
Rachel: Theyre in Vermont!! How could this happen?! (She waves her arms franticly and hits Chandler.)
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny when my parents got divorced, they sent me to this shrink, and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves. But in your case it's actually kinda true.
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
(They edge closer to the phone on the table.)
Ross: Remember the Russian satellite, Sputnik? (They all look at him.) Well, Im a potato or a spud. And these are my antennae. (Points to the colander with an old TV antenna glued on top that hes wearing.) So Sputnik, becomes (Theyre still confused) Spud-nik. Spudnik!
(They walk away.)
Phoebe: But theyre not!
Ursula: Well they could be true.
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.