words in movies
Monica: (pinching her) Let's get you out of here!! (they go outside)
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
Phoebe: (shouts after David) Oh! David, get one for us too! Oh, oh, and see if they have a heart-shaped one! And with mirrors on the ceiling!
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
Rachel: Thank you. (they walk away)
Ross: Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace.
Charlie: Oh yeah! Hey, save the cork and then we can fill the bottle with water and put it back so they don't charge you.
Ross: No. (they clink glasses and drink)
Ross: Hey! High-five! (they high-five)
Joey: Yeah. (they leave)
(Ross and Rachel watch them walk away and sigh. They look at each other, embarassed.)
(they hold their hands, gazing at each other)
Phoebe: Yes! (they hug)
Phoebe & Mike: Yeah! (they leave)
(They approach the buffet, where a couple of paleontologists are sipping their drinks)
Mike: They have a game room downstairs! Ping pong and stuff.
Monica: (pleasantly surprised) Ping pong? (to Chandler) Honey, they have ping pong! Let's play!
(They start playing again)
Rachel: (regretful) I'm sorry, too! (they look at each other sadly, then she recollects, and puts her hands over her eyes) OH GOD! I shouldn't have said anything!
(They shake hands, he walks out and shuts the door, then seems to change his mind, moves to open the door, than changes his mind again and leans over the door. Just then, Rachel opens the door)
(they continue to play ping pong and then Mike scores, winning the game)
Ross: Yes, please! (they move and sit down on a sofa) So, what's going on?
(they start playing again; suddenly Monica hits the table with her hand)
(They start playing and Chandler does not suck at all)
Charlie: Are they still looking for us?
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
Ross: I don't think they saw us.
Charlie: I don't think they did.
(They realize that they are hugging closely and he draws back)
(Charlie kisses Ross, they stop for a moment and then he kisses her back)
Ross: I mean, you just went out with my best friend, and I just think it'd be a really really bad idea. (pause) Or-or not! (they kiss passionately)
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
(They all decay into massive bickering as Phoebe returns from the bathroom.)
Jill: No! They did! (Points to Phoebe and Ross)
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, theyre getting ready to leave for the party.]
Phoebe: I was going too. (They go inside and he closes the door.) Umm, I brought some wine. Would you like some?
(They all start laughing, and quickly stop when they realize what she just said and run over to the bathroom.)
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid?
Big Nosed Rachel: Y'know what? I've just had it with high school boys! They are just silly. (Ross is overhearing this.) Silly, stupid boys! I'm going to start dating men!
Phoebe: Yeah, and theyve been coming by all day. They love it!
Phoebe: Not yet. Umm, I heard they really hurt, do they hurt?
Ross: Well then well-well see you the day after tomorrow. (Walks away slowly, but notices something.) Mom?! Dad?! (Theyre sitting by the window.) What-what what you guys doing here?!
Rachel: Well Phoebe, we gotta do something! (They turn the corner.) Well, yknow. I mean theres no way Joeys gonna make it in time. So Im gonna through the hotel and see if theres any other weddings going on.
Phoebe: I just-I just started walking around not knowing what to do next, yknow? I-I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages. Then these policemen, thought I was a whore too. Its been a really bad day, whore wise.
STEPHANIE: (singing) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
CHANDLER: I think they get it.
Joey: Okay. (They both walk off to watch for Rachel.)
Rachel: Look, yknow I know my lifes going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people whove accomplished so many other goals by the time theyre thirty.
Monica: You obviously havent screwed over a lot of your friends. (They all look at her) Which we all appreciate.
Kathy: Yeah. No, this is great. Thank you, Chandler. (They hug).
All: Oh, sure. Sure, absolutely. (They just stand there, then realise what he means and go to the other end of the room)
Mr. Geller: Oh, well, I, I guess it musta been the day after you were born. We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep, and they brought you in and gave you to me. You were this ugly little red thing, and all of a sudden you grabbed my finger with your whole fist. And you squeezed it, so tight. And that's when I knew.
Rachel: Yeah. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby! (They all hug.)
(They give each other a dubious look.)
Joey: (enters) Guess what? (they all look expectantly at him) I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
(Suddenly they hear Janice laughing, and it ruins the moment.)
Rachel: Oh! Screw it, I didn't get it! (they high-five)
Chandler: Wow, what a geek. They spent $69.95 on a Wonder Mop.
Phoebe: Enchanté (she holds out her hand, and they shake hands)
CHANDLER: Welcome home man. [they hug and jump around]
(They all look to Phoebe to settle this.)
Conan: So that you will intentionally do something thattheyll-theyll intentionally screw it up?
[They all run to get in the cab, and Chandler pulls out a smoke.]
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Chandler: No! No-no-no-no-no-no. It sounds like they really need you down there.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
Guy: Yeah, the Knicks by 10. They suck.
Phoebe: Oh, this is terrible. Oh, theyve made so many changes I cant even feel my grandmothers presence anymoreOoh! New sconces!
Chandler: Oh honey, leave them alone, theyre in love.
Joey: Ms. Monroe (She slaps him) Oh there you go. (She storms off, leaving Joey standing next to Dina. They share a nod at the ferocity of the slap they just received.)
Dina: I cant believe shes really gone. Look around you, all of this is ours. (They move into kiss but; theyre stopped by Joey entering with a huge bandage wrapped around his head.)
Joey: Well, since you ask. They want me back on Days of Our Lives!
Chandler: No, I just always see guys doing this when they get handcuffs taken off them. (He runs over to where his pants are hanging) Hello sweet pants!
(They hug and Joey enters.)
Phoebe: Oh come on, they can be in the same room.
Chandler: The bath salts! Theyre starting to effervesce! Its different. (Pause) Its interesting.
[They both step out into the hall.]
[They hug and kiss.]
Monica: Oh, my mom called, theyre gonna run our engagement announcement in the local paper, so were looking for a good picture of us.
(Pause as they both take another sip of coffee.)
Erica: I don't think so. Although, they did mention something about two heartbeats. But I thought that was just mine and the baby's. They kept saying both heartbeats are really strong, and I thought well, that's good 'cause I'm having a baby.
RACHEL: No! They didn't even talk to each other. God, how was I supposed to know they were having problems?
Rachel: Oh, I called them. And when they ask me what I saw, I can be very generous (Holds her hands far apart) or very (In a high pitched voice) stingy.
Monica: Y'know they say a watched pot never beeps.
Joey: No, not really. They give you all the information, its uh, its like memorizing a script. (Making like a tour guide) "And on your left, you have Tyrannosaurus Rex, a carnivore from the Jurassic period.
(She kisses him. Ross leans back for a second, and then they both kiss, more passionately this time as U2's With or Without You plays in the background.)
(They hug as Rachel enters.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, let's see. (she takes her mobile phone) Ok, duck down. (they both get down to hide themselves. Phoebe calls Chandler)
Chandler: No. I mean I believe that uh, certain people are more suited for each other and I believe in falling in love, but soul mates, I dont think they exist.
(Rachel grabs the bug bomb, activates it, throws it at the figure, and they both run out through the fog.)
(Jamie Buchman and Fran Devanow enter the coffee house. They look about them as Jamie removes her coat and scarf.)
ERICA: Who's they?
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh, okay maybe they put your picture back up they can put you next to Matt Lauer. Look at him, smiling at me. (Giggles) Yeah I know; wed be great together!
Rachel: And thank you for your time. (They both beat a hasty retreat.)
(They kiss each other on the cheek, and Rachel leaves.)
TOGETHER: Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, it's not your fault.
Chandler: They dont really talk to us about that kind of stuff. I can get you some free white out though.
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Ross: Why dont they just jump out of an airplane?! Huh?! That-thats a fun date! Or burn each other with matches?! Thats fun too! Whew!!
Rachel: Thank you! Youre great! (They kiss.)
Phoebe: Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!
Ross: And they knew about it?
Phoebe: Oh, you say someones name enough, they turn around.
MONICA: Oh, why does this bother me so much? I mean I don't wanna be one of those people who tells their boyfriend they wanna spend 24 hours a day with them.
Ross: Come on Pheebs, its not that bad! Yknow most people would be excited if they didnt have to work for a couple of weeks.
PHOEBE: Alright, I'm sorry but these people needed me. They work hard all week, it's Saturday night, they deserve to have a little fun. Go.
Rachel: Okay. Just give us a second. Ross! (They walk away from the desk.)
(They both sit back down.)
All: Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut... (She cuts one of them and they cheer.)
PHOEBE: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.
Ross: Is that what they say on the Figure Skating Team?
CHANDLER: I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . [Joey returns to his room]
MONICA: I'm at work, ordinary day, you know, chop chop chop, sauti, sauti, sauti. All of a sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. It turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]
Joey: Well, we were! But Ross was talking so loud on his phone they threw us out!
Ross: Because you're a kook! Instead you wait until they send you a notice.
Phoebe: (laughs) Okay, quit down. (they start to kiss again)
Phoebe: Yeah, so... They gotta die someday. (Mike's parents walk in) HELLO!
(As they approach the kitchen, the door opens and in walks in a Joey look-a-like.)
MR. TREEGER: Oh, yeah, they were so personal, really showed you cared.
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
The Vendor: (looks around) Theyre all tourists.
ROSS: Hey, save us some pizza. [they go off to Rachel's room]
(They start kissing again and when Joey grazes, she slaps him three times, on the hand, and on both cheeks)
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Monica: We're all sorry... (They have a group hug)
Rachel: Oh God! This is silly, Im gonna see you in a couple of hours! (They hug again.)
[They dance; Carol looks on lovingly.]
MONICA: [sings] They won't take you to the vet.
Ross: (very interested) Oh! like what?! (Charlie looks at him confused, but smiling) Oh I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry... it's just that this must be what regular people experience when they watch "Access Hollywood".