words in movies
Joey: Oh, its this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. Its really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese.
Joey: Yeah, theres this guy from Chicago whos supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guys right after him. (Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello!
Joey: I know! My grandmothers gonna see this!
Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also cant wait til its over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Joey: Well thats true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My characters catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. Its really sweet and-and tender.
Phoebe: Well when can we have this shower?
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. (They sit down.) I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it?
Rachel: Were paying for this yknow.
Chandler: Umm, so this Aunt Marilyn is-is-is-is she coming to the wedding?
Joey: Oh great! Yknow I wouldve been perfect for this part, but whatever! Yknow, thanks for making a bad decision and ruining your movie! Good day! (Starts to leave.)
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
The Casting Director: An Italian Catholic immigrant at this time would not be
Monica: So to get this part you cant be?
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Monica: Joey! This is not like learning to ride a horse! This is like learning to grow a turtleneck!
Monica: Well, this may sound crazy, but there maybe something we could fashion.
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Joey: Wow! This looks great!
Monica: Yeah! Okay, this one is a mushroom cap. (Points to it.) Umm, this one is made of bologna. (Points.)
Joey: Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird.
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
The Casting Director: Joey, this is awkward part.
Phoebe: Oh! No problem! I (Cassie emerges from the bathroom and we once again visit slow motion Barry White background music land with the sexy hair-flipping thing going on, only this time Phoebe is entranced. For more information on Denise Richards you can visit your local library or look her up on the Internet at her official website at www.deniserichards.com.)
Chandler: I dont think this town is big enough for both of us to relax in. (He blows on his hand) Draw!! (He quickly pulls the lever to raise the foot rest, like a gunfighter in a Western.)
Ross: (crying) Yeah, but this cant be it, I mean.
Rachel: Honey, Monica, this is ridiculous! Look
Joey: Come on! Look just-just telllet her know that you really want them to be there. Lets not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years.
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Starts reading them.) Dizziness, nervousness, drowsiness, facial swelling, nausea, headacheHeadache. Vomiting, stomach bleeding, liver damage! Now okay, I dont recall any of this coming up when you gave me these little death capsules! Oh Im sorry, extra strength death capsules!
Ross: This guy could be my babys stepfather!
Ross: She doesnt know which one of us she wants, me or this Colin guy.
Mrs. Geller: We really do feel bad about this though.
Monica: Umm, I think I spoke too quickly. There-theres a learning curve with this job and maybe we can try it again.
Ross: Okay, okay. This can go on for a while.
Rachel: Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is just a nightmare! Every place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look at this; (Points to one and starts to read it.) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Its just, there is nothing! The citys full!
Ross: Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! (He storms out.)
Monica: Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because youre the most important person in this room. And in the world!
Chandler: (in a high pitched voice) What?! I didnt even know thatWhy didnt you tell me?! (Pause) Why am I talking like this?!
Monica: This is my dress!
Rachel: Well, like anything can be sexy. Like umm, oh-oh, like this dishtowel! (She grabs it and starts rubbing it on her cheek.) Ooh, ooh, this feels sooo good against my cheek! And-and if I feel a little hot, I can just dab myself with it. Or I can bring it down to my side and bring it through my fingers while I talk to him.
JOEY: Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get to a hospital, she's not gonna live.'
Dr. Green: This is nice. I pay two hundred dollars for dinner, you put down twenty, and you come out looking like Mr. Big Shot. You really want to be Mr. Big Shot? Here, Ill tell you what, you pay the whole bill, Mr. Big Shot, all right. (rips up the bill, and throws it at Ross, then leaves)
Phoebe: (smiling) This is terrible, what are you going to do?
Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing.
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
Monica: What is wrong with this freezer?! (She jabs her arm into the freezer and a piece of ice flies into her eye.) Ow! Ow!!
Monica: Well, this is the last box of your clothes. Im just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"
Rachel: Yeah but-but-but you liked me! Oh my God, I cant believe this, all this time, I liked you and you liked me!
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the worlds worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
Chandler: Nothing, I just like to go like this. (Does it again.)
Phoebe: Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. Umm, lets try some uh, aversion therapy.
Phoebe: Hey, do you think this is why Chandler took off?
Joey: (on the tape) Now, I wanna a suitcase filled with 100,000 dollars. (The duck quacks, to the duck) Choo! Choo! Choo! (To the imaginary cops) Filled with $100,000 in small bills, and if I don't get it (the duck quacks louder) Choo!! And if I don't get it, (pause, picks up the duck) I'm gonna shoot this duck!
Ross: Yeah. Do you have any idea what this means in academic circles, uh? I am gonna get laid.
RACHEL: Um, this is gonna sound kinda goofy but uhhm, my friend over there, who cooks by the way, um, she thinks you're cute.
The Cooking Teacher: Okay Joey, youre up next. (Tries one of his cookies.) This are good! This is amazing! You get an A!
Chandler: Monica, I want a baby too, but this woman is giving away her child. She deserves to know who it's going to. Monica: (realizes Chandler is right. She's almost crying) okay, right. (They hug)
Phoebe: But look Chandler, right now, no one has a lower opinion of you than I do. But I totally believe you can do this.
Chandler: Oh, good, because as of four o'clock this afternoon, I am not.
Phoebe: Okay, then you dont know what it feels like when one of them comes back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if Im wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Okay? Be supportive.
Phoebe: Oh, so this is all about money! Yknow its bad enough thatOw! Oh, you have got to be kidding!
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? (measures about 2 inches with his thumb and index finger) This is your baby. (in baby-like voice) Hi Daddy!
Ross: My-my ring? My-my wedding ring? The-the stripper stole my wedding ring?! H-how?! How could this all happen?!
Chandler: Say your son never feels connected to you, as one. Say all of his relationships are affected by this.
JOEY: You don't keep it over here on this table any more?
Tour Guide: Op, this is saved. (Joey wonders why) Gift shop.
Joey: Well how about this one? Testing the effects of Joey Tribbiani on attractive nurse receptionists.
Joey: I cant believe this Chandler!
Chandler: Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around. Do you have any Chap Stick?
Ross: She is not (Realizes) Shes gay. Oh my God. She is so gay! I cant believe this.
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don’t think he’s ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this!
Chandler: Would you just please....give me the receipt cause this is great. Its top notch.
Ross: (To Phoebe) And she's supposed to buy this?!
Chandler: No-no-no-no, this is bad! Its bad! This is bad!
Doug: Bing my boy, were gonna get you over this. Now heres the plan, grab your coat, were going to a strip club.
Phoebe: Oh, its so great to see you feeling like this!
Phoebe: You guys kissed!!!!! What does this mean?!! Are you, are you getting back together?! Can I sing at your wedding?
Amy: My boyfriend canceled on me. I mean.. I I finally find a real relationship. I mean, someone that I can spend this day with and then his wife comes back into town. I swear, its almost not worth dating married guys.
PHOEBE: Oh! I can't believe it. I can't believe this. We're just like, sitting at home, trying to guess Joey's fingers, and you guys are out like partying and having fun, and you know, all, "hey, Blowfish, suck on my neck".
Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Mr. Geller: (Forcefully.) Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet the middle of your ass.
Monica: Wait a minute! So you told people I was pregnant?! (Flash) Does this look like a conversation that I want to remember?!
Rachel: Okay, uh-uh imagine this, "The Mr. Bowmont."
Chandler: Four hours? You guys have been doing this for four hours?
Joey: Fine! Take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
Benjamin: (to Ross) Thank you! (to Charlie). I can't believe that you chose this restaurant! Do you remember the night?
Mike: Hey, Chandler, why dont we talk this over at the Ranger game tomorrow?
Rachel: So, is this just gonna be you and Carol?
Chandler: We cant accept this.
Monica: I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)
Joey: Well check it out, I was with this really hot girl who just moved in right across the street!
Russell: (interrupting) Im sorry, is this the same Rachel whos name you said at the altar in the second marriage?
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Phoebe: (wearing a veil) Am I crazy or does this totally go?!
Ross: This was just a drunken mistake and I need to get it annulled.
Rachel: I know. (Hugs him more violently this time and pushes him back away from the letter.)
Rachel: Joey, you have got to take this back!
Larry: Just walking past the kitchen I saw 10 violations! I'm shutting this place down!
Monica: Oh! Oh my God! That is the most beautiful top of a head I have ever seen! Chandler, you have to see this!
Ross: Okay. But not about this!
Chandler: So uh, what did this woman look like?
Joey: Hey, youre ah, pretty good at this.
(Upon hearing this, Joey cant turn his chair around fast enough and knocks it over.)
Soothing male voice: ..a sound Mom and Dad never forget. For this after all, is the miracle of birth.
Phoebe: What the hell is this, herbal tea? I hate herbal tea!
Chandler: Ok, you can not do this to me.
Chandler: (coming all the way in) Listen, I just wanted to apologize about this afternoon and the whole massage thing. Y'know? I-I really like 'em.
Rachel: Yeah, honey, they wouldn't miss this.
Phoebe: But, lets play this one first. And remember whoever talks first loses!
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's class; Rachel walks in, on time this time.]
Phoebe: This stuff is great!
RACHEL: What? Come on, it's not like I'm asking for this girly clock or anything, which, by the way, I also think is very cool.
Rachel: What-what?! Youre gonna leave this person with me?!
Joey: Well, I sorta am. I mean yeah, Im dating this girl whos also seeing another guy. But, I dont know, Im not to worried about it.
Monica: Yknow I used to go out with this guy that was a really light sleeper, and whenever I started to snore, he would just roll me over
Rachel: Oh yknow what? Yknow what? Now that you know what you want you should go to Kleinmans and get it half off. This place is so overpriced.
ROSS: So don't, I don't see why we have to go to this thing anyway, it's your ex-fiancee's wedding.
Joey: Sounds great! Okay all right, well where does this go? (The lamp hes holding.)
Rachel: It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family. See, every year we go skiing in Vail, and normally my father pays for my ticket, but I sort of started the whole independence thing, you know, which is actually why I took this job.
Rachel: I Am I the only one that this is embarrassing for?
RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way.
Joey: Hey, we all had better plans. This was nobody's first choice.
Nurse: Fill this out and bring it back to me.
Ross: Youre great. And I-I know someday this will happen for you too. You just hang in there.