words in movies
Joey: Oh, its this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. Its really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese.
Joey: Yeah, theres this guy from Chicago whos supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guys right after him. (Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello!
Joey: I know! My grandmothers gonna see this!
Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also cant wait til its over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Joey: Well thats true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My characters catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. Its really sweet and-and tender.
Phoebe: Well when can we have this shower?
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. (They sit down.) I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it?
Rachel: Were paying for this yknow.
Chandler: Umm, so this Aunt Marilyn is-is-is-is she coming to the wedding?
Joey: Oh great! Yknow I wouldve been perfect for this part, but whatever! Yknow, thanks for making a bad decision and ruining your movie! Good day! (Starts to leave.)
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
The Casting Director: An Italian Catholic immigrant at this time would not be
Monica: So to get this part you cant be?
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Monica: Joey! This is not like learning to ride a horse! This is like learning to grow a turtleneck!
Monica: Well, this may sound crazy, but there maybe something we could fashion.
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Joey: Wow! This looks great!
Monica: Yeah! Okay, this one is a mushroom cap. (Points to it.) Umm, this one is made of bologna. (Points.)
Joey: Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird.
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
The Casting Director: Joey, this is awkward part.
Phoebe: Oh! No problem! I (Cassie emerges from the bathroom and we once again visit slow motion Barry White background music land with the sexy hair-flipping thing going on, only this time Phoebe is entranced. For more information on Denise Richards you can visit your local library or look her up on the Internet at her official website at www.deniserichards.com.)
Phoebe: Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black.
Jill: Its probably because not mature enough. Or smart enough. Maybe he doesnt like the way I dressNo that cant be it. Its really gotta be the smart thing. Oh Im so stupid! Im just like this incredibly pretty stupid girl!
Rachel: This one's from Joey... feels like a book. Thinks it's a book... feels like a book. And...(opens it)...it's a book!
Laura: I just realized why I remember this place.
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Ross: Great! Uh, let me take this up for you. (The box hes holding.)
Monica: Oh my God, he's gonna do it now. Please, I cannot watch this, let's go.
Joey: Alright, hey look, and this isn't over, because I really wanna know who...
Monica: Hey, Rach, can you give me a hand with this box?
PHOEBE: Ohh, ok, I see what you did there. Aren't you afraid though, that the writers are gonna be kinda mad when they read this?
Rachel: Noooo... look, all I know is that I cannot wait a week until I see him. I mean, this is just too big. Y'know, I just, I've just gotta talk to him. I... I gotta... OK, I'll see you later. (opens door)
PHOE: Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".
Janice: Wait! Wait! I wanna see this. After I divorce him, half of that kingdom is gonna be mine.
Phoebe: Before I start, I just wanna say that umm, I have a cold, so if I sneeze in the middle of song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People. (Starts to sing) Smelly cat, smelly cat. What are they feeding you? (Stops singing) This chick sounds good. (Singing) Smelly cat, smelly--(stops singing) Hey Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.
Rachel: Oo, I cant watch this, its like Sophies Choice.
Sarah: Really Mr. Geller, you dont have to do this.
Monica: I would get a room with this cake. I think I could show this cake a good time!
Phoebe: I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!
Guy: I just, I want you to know I didn't used to be like this. Before I meet your sister I was like this normal guy who sold beepers and cellular phones.
Rachel: Come on, this isnt funny. She thinks its my fault that you havent called her. You have to call her!
Joey's Date: Ew, yknow what? One time I saw this guy from behind and he seemed like a totally normal guy and then he turned around and it was Stephan Baldwin!
Monica: (kneels with him) Chandler, umm, I want you to take just a minute and I want you to think about how ridiculous this sounds.
Ross: Well, where do I start? This is Julie. Julie, this is Rachel.
Monica: You know, it's a really funny story how this happened.
Ross: Oh, I uh, hope you don't mind, I kinda uh, jazzed it up a little. Check this out. (He plays the greeting, and We Will Rock You starts to play and Ross's voice comes over it.) We will, we will, call you back!
Chandler: let ME be a part of this!
Amanda: (announces more to herself than anyone else) Wow, my flat is twice this size!
Monica: Ohhh! (Takes the plate.) No! This is my friend Rachel, we went to High School together.
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
Chandler: Look, Joey, Kathy is clearly not fulfilling your emotional needs. But Casey, I mean granted I only saw the back of her head, but I got this sense that shes-shes smart, and funny, and gets you.
Ross: This is beautiful!
Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldnt come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Phoebe: (holding a lure) So now, what is this now?
Ross: (to Chloe) I like this song.
(The nurse attending to the babies hears this, turns and stares at Chandler. Chandler moves Monica to the side and away from the nurse.)
Monica: (starting to cry) Im a good person. And Im a good chef, and I dont deserve to have marinara sauce all over me! Yknow what, if you want me to quit this bad, then all you have to do is
Charlie: I don't know what to say, Benji. This is all so.... romantic.
PHOEBE: No it isn't, this is my dad, alright, I'll show you.
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Rachel: Okay, then y'know what? Help me! I need help! I can't do this!
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
Phoebe: Yeah, after this, I think he'll be doing that himself.
Chandler: Ok, well, this was very special.
The Lurker: (to the guard) Excuse me, sir! This lady played my quarter, this is my money. (Motions to the jackpot.)
Monica: Oh, can I borrow this? (points to his milk) My milks gone bad.
Pete: No! Look, I was gonna tell you this over dinner, but I met somebody else. On my trip.
Chandler: Yknow what? I am going to take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers . (Monica doesnt look impressed.) No? Really? They taste so good.
Amanda: Let’s see.. to assure you get this directly, ring me back on my mobile.
Chandler: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What is all this pressure?! Is this some new kind of strategy? Why dont you put down your copy of The Rules huh mantrap?!
Ross: Ah I had a little thing with Joey, if you think this is bad you should see him.
Chandler: Let me tell you about this chick I scored with last night! Oh no wait a minute that was you!
Rachel: Hey Mon, little question for ya! How do you think this suit will look on an assistant buyer?
JOEY: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this.
Rachel: This is such a great party! 35 years. Very impressive, do you guys have any pearls of wisdom?
Chandler: Isnt this amazing?
Chandler: Is this really your long term plan, for me to run interference? Because I could get a job any day now.
Phoebe: What the hell is this?! What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I cant use for another two months?! This sucks! All right, whats my next present?!
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
MONICA: I can't believe that this whole time we thought he hated us. I mean, isn't it amazing how much you can touch someone's life, without even knowing it?...Would you look at this dump? He hated us. This is his final revenge!
Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me!
Joey: Um-hmm! Look, I-I-I don't know how much more of this I can take! Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs! My God! What if that had been porn?
Joey: See, this is a great apartment.
Phoebe: Okay, well yknow what, dont worry you guys, cause Im-Im gonna do this as many times as it takes to get it right.
Ross: You know what? I'm gonna finish this later, ok? Let me just grab my coat.
Monica: Wait! Wait! This isnt take-out!
Phoebe: Well, why are you doing this anyway?
Rachel: Oh-oh, sorry, its this way, its this way. (Motions to the correct way.)
Monica: Ah, well if you dont clear this off, you wont be getting one of those from me. But Bens coming over here tomorrow to play this game, this cant be there.
Joey: Well, I'm doing this telethon thing on TV and my agent got me a job as co-host!
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Joey: Wow! Im so sorry; I had no idea it would bother you this much.
Phoebe: Oh my God! So was she! And! Get this, okay? Your-your name is Earl, right? Her name was Pearl, P-Earl.
Rachel: Theyre in Vermont!! How could this happen?! (She waves her arms franticly and hits Chandler.)
Joey: It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!
(Why was this the trailer? Well, thats because it was an introduction into the special out takes episode that immediately followed the show. The entire out takes episode, Friends: The Stuff Youve Never Seen can be read by following this link.)
Rachel: Really? Wow, this is so much better than I
Phoebe: Oh okay. Umm, all right. (Picks up the phone and starts reading from the script.) Hi, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please?
Jay Leno: (on TV) Alright, so now you're doing this whole book tour thing, how is that going?
Chandler: And I don't wanna say this, I don't you guys to hate me, but uh, I don't think, I can be around that dog anymore. Okay, so either the dog goes, or I go. (An awkward silence ensues.) Oh my god!!
Ross: Can you believe this? Were gonna be on the platform for the Millennium moment!
Ross: I just wanna clarify this: are you outing Mr. Peanut?
Jill: Oh, thats so great! Okay, Im really gonna do this! I dont know how to thank you guys.
(This gorgeous woman in spandex walks up)
Phoebe: so this guy was all (Mumbles.) And I'm all, Buffay, Homicide. (Flashes the badge.) It was just so cool!
Joey: All rightoh! Listen, I know this is your party, but Id really like to the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there.
Chandler: Oh wow, I hope you dont take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans to meet up tonight and, ugh, Im just kinda worried about what it might do to our friendship.
Joey: He's kinda tall, dark hair, hand looks exactly like this. (Holds up his hand.) See?
Joshua: So, this was uh, really fun.
Chandler: Joe, I don't think this is going to be your big break.
Joey: I'm glad we had this little talk.
Chandler: Do we pay for this?
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Phoebe: No-no-no, but I am mad! I am mad! Because this stuff is everything that is wrong with the world! And its all sitting up in my living room and all I can think about is how I dont have that lamp!
Chandler: But are you sure you can do this?
Monica: Im sorry. Ive never had a maid before, is this not okay?
Phoebe: Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay.
Phoebe: His first big kids bike, this is so exciting!
Chandler: And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym.
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
The Saleswoman: You're telling me this couch was delivered to you like this?!