words in movies
Joey: Oh, its this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. Its really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese.
Joey: Yeah, theres this guy from Chicago whos supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guys right after him. (Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello!
Joey: I know! My grandmothers gonna see this!
Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also cant wait til its over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Joey: Well thats true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My characters catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. Its really sweet and-and tender.
Phoebe: Well when can we have this shower?
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. (They sit down.) I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it?
Rachel: Were paying for this yknow.
Chandler: Umm, so this Aunt Marilyn is-is-is-is she coming to the wedding?
Joey: Oh great! Yknow I wouldve been perfect for this part, but whatever! Yknow, thanks for making a bad decision and ruining your movie! Good day! (Starts to leave.)
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
The Casting Director: An Italian Catholic immigrant at this time would not be
Monica: So to get this part you cant be?
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Monica: Joey! This is not like learning to ride a horse! This is like learning to grow a turtleneck!
Monica: Well, this may sound crazy, but there maybe something we could fashion.
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Joey: Wow! This looks great!
Monica: Yeah! Okay, this one is a mushroom cap. (Points to it.) Umm, this one is made of bologna. (Points.)
Joey: Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird.
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
The Casting Director: Joey, this is awkward part.
Phoebe: Oh! No problem! I (Cassie emerges from the bathroom and we once again visit slow motion Barry White background music land with the sexy hair-flipping thing going on, only this time Phoebe is entranced. For more information on Denise Richards you can visit your local library or look her up on the Internet at her official website at www.deniserichards.com.)
Rachel: Look, I cannot do this right now, okay, Ive got a deadline, would you just go home, Ill talk to you later. (storms out)
Kristen: Umm, this is great wine.
Ross: No! No its not. Joey, this is a smart idea.
Monica: Please... honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the harpist should wear white.
Phoebe: All right well lets see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boatThis is hard!
Rachel: I am not gonna show you this!
Joey: Yeah, its this great part, this boxer named Nick. And Im so, so right for it, y'know, hes just like me. Except hes a boxer, and has an evil twin.
Jack: That’s true! This message could becoming to you from beyond the grave, Emma!
Monica: I... I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair! (Tries to move her huge hair away from the phone, in vain)
Phoebe: This is so cool, til Monica gets back, its like Im head chef and I get to make all the decisions. (She looks at the remaining butter, and then decides to add it to the dish.)
Phoebe: See? This is why you register.
Rachel: Joey, you cant keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.
Ross: I promise you she’s safe! No watch how much she loves this.
Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
Tag: Oh, yeah, this is from Rachel.
Joey: Hey Kash. Uh hey-hey this is Ross. Ross, this is Kash.
Ross: Look at it this way: you dumped her. Right? I mean, this woman was unbelievably sexy, and beautiful, intelligent, unattainable... Tell me why you did this again?
Phoebe: Yeah, and these are my friends. People. This is Vince, Vince the people.
Rachel: Well umm, that one is pretty but uh, I just, I just love this fabric (On the other one.) Sorry.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Okay quick, help me get this off! (Motions to her top.)
Courtney: This particular time when he continued to fall or yknow, try not to fall, I was in the room with Matthew and Matthew was like, "Should I do it?"
The Director: Okay. (to Alex) All right uh, Alex now when Joey says his line, "Take good care of your Momma son," thats your cue to cry. Got it? (Alex nods yes.) All right, lets do this.
ROSS: You know, I might have expected this of you Phoebe, but Ryan, you're a military man.
Ross: Sorry, Im kinda keeping this one on the Q.T.
Janice: But I love my husband. And I know you love your wife. Now, I don't think we should get this house now.
Rachel: (To Monica) Oh, you did this to him?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Phoebe: All right, prude... Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. You are not gonna talk them into staying here.
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny when my parents got divorced, they sent me to this shrink, and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves. But in your case it's actually kinda true.
Monica: Oh! (Gets up) Lets see, well if this is the wedding hall then umm (Walks away) youre parents will be at home in Queens.
Ross: Look, I didnt want to rush into anything. And it seemed like she didnt want to either. But I dont, I dont understand how any of this happened! What? Did she find the ring in my jacket, assume that I was going to propose, throw it on, and-and just start telling people?
Rachel: I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.
Phoebe: Hey, you guys, listen, this weekend we're all gonna go to Las Vegas to surprise Joey! Including me!! You wanna go?!
Chandler: Youre right, and Im sorry! This means a lot to me! I want you to be my friend again! I swear, I wont say another word tonight.
Rachel: Clearly you dont want people to see this tape. Now I dont want people to see this tape either, but you so badly dont people to see it makes me want to see it. You see?
Joey: You were amazing, could you just do me this huge favor, you see there's this one other audition that I really, really want, and Estelle couldn't get me in.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) So this is Brooklyn.
Joey: No, Pheebs, listen, if you decide to do this, well be supportive like crazy.
ROSS: No, that, that was, I mean, as opposed to uh, the uh, ok. Is this over yet Rach?
Phoebe: Yeah! It really has been great too, you know, some of this people must have seen me play before because they were requesting a bunch of my songs! Yeah, "You suck" and "shut up and go home".
Joey: See this is what I was afraid of, I didnt think I should be here either but somebody (Looks at Chandler) said hed be over it by now.
Ross: Oh umm, well uh, maybe-maybe later. Right now, Im about to dance with this lady.
Laura: Oh, it's nothing. I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building and it didn't end very well.
Chandler: This is so bad. If-if youre not Mary-Angela, then-then who is?
Rachel: Oh, you guys, I can't believe this. But I'll leave now, or I'm gonna miss my plane.
Doug: Uh Bing, I think we're gonna make this the last game.
Phoebe: Maybe this is too weird.
Phoebe: would you call this girl? (Puts on a crying act) thanks-fo-r-a-love-ly-even-ing
Ross: Thank you, Dr. Phillips, but Im having my lunch at this table, here in the middle. Im having lunch right here, with my good friend Joey, if hell sit with me.
Monica: (To Chandler) This is what happens when you dont register for gifts!
Monica: Well, usually when Im this anxious, I clean!
(They start the attempt. Ross is going backwards and reaches the first landing. This staircase has three steps then a landing, makes a 90-degree turn, and has more steps before another landing and another 90-degree turn.)
Phoebe: Oh. Ew! Ew! Ew! Ugh! Yknow what? This is too weird.
Rachel: What is this?
Joey: All right! Man, this is unbelievable!
Rachel: No-no-no! This chairs not going anywhere.
Monica: Wow! So, now youre going on a date with this girl?
Ross: Dad, dad, dad, I'm talkin' about the whole uh, baby thing. Did you uh, ever get this sort of... panicky, "Oh my god I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing?
Monica: Something went wrong with Underdog, and they couldn't get his head to inflate. So anyway, um, his head is like flopping down Broadway, right, and I'm just thinking... how inappropriate this is. Um, I've got something in my eye, uh, Joey, could we check it in the light, please?
Rachel: Excuse me! But this is a purebred, show-quality Sphinx cat!
Chandler: All right fine! But Im only doing this for you!
Ross: Look, this is just a little too familiar, okay? For like, for like six months before Carol and I spilt up, all I heard was: "My friend Susan is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great."
Chandler: (looks around) Here just...take this. (Hands her the sweater.)
Joey: Look, Chandler, I told you, never tell anyone about this dog thing. It's like Ross not likin ice cream.
Joey: I miss this.
ROSS: This is so exciting, I haven't seen my monkey in almost a year.
Rachel: Oh! Get over it soldier, we've gotta do this! (She pulls him towards her and throws him onto the barcalounger) Ok. Aha! You like that huh?
Ross: Trying to date this woman.
Phoebe: Yeah, its about relationships. Yknow? The traps, the pitfalls, what not to do, keep going. This stuff is great!
Ross: Should I leave this open for you too?
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
Monica: Why in the world would you take this tape and and why would you watch it?
Mona: Im not sure yet. Why didnt you just tell me about all this?
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
Ross: Maybe that will liven up this party.
Ross: Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. Im just gonna put this (The money) back in my pocket, pretend that didnt happen. Uh yeah, actually Im free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or
Ross: Umm say, I-I opened this earlier (The privacy screen) but let me give you guys some privacy.
Monica: All right okay, just so you know, Im not gonna make a turkey this year.
Mr. Treeger:: Ahh, forget it! Ill never be any good at this, my mom was right, Im just a big potato with arms, and legs, and a head.
Chandler: This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you. He keeps a tape so he can... look at it whenever he wants.
Joey: Uh, yeah... This guy at work got me excited about going in on an emu farm. That'd be kinda cool huh? Pitchin' in on the weekends, helping to plant the emus...
Joey: That sounds like another word to me! Are you gonna take this seriously? (Theres no response from Chandler.) Okay.
Rachel: Okay. So these signals Ross, explain this to me, cause maybe I need to be more careful. I mean, am I sending you these signals right now?
Ross: Oh here, I think this is us. (Reading the name cards.) Yeah.
Monica: This is Phoebe.
Ross: Am I! Am I! Am I out of my mind! Am I losing my senses!! This dreamy guy is taking my girlfriend out for a meal.
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
CHANDLER: This isn't your first surprise party, is it sir?
Chandler: He was asking all these questions about you, me, and London. And, of course the glue that holds this all together, the rules.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Sure, your dresser is missing but this she notices.
Joey: (To Monica) Seriously, who is this guy?
Rachel: Okay Monica, did you know about this?!
Monica: Phoebe! Come on Im serious! I just got to talk to him about all this.
Ross: This couch, is cut in half! I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half!
Rachel: So who else was in this club?
Joey: Just what needs to be done! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman
Chandler: Im not even getting married! Okay, this is a question for science fiction writers!
Mr. Treeger: Because by the time I find it on this thing (Holds up a huge key ring with a thousand keys on it), the whole place might have exploded. If that happens at another building that I manage, people are gonna start asking questions. (To the fireman) Come on! Hurry up.
LITTLE BULLY: Look, here's what we'll do. We'll put all keys and watches in the hat over there. Alright. [they all put their keys and watches in the hat and put it on a mail box] Alright, c'mon man, let's do this.