words in movies
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Joey: Remember what happened the last time I did an interview for them? I said I write a lot of my own lines, and then the writers got mad and made my character fall down the elevator shaft. So who knows what I might say this time.
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
The Interviewer: I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.
Chandler: No, were just four people with neck problems. You talk like this. (Out of the sides of their mouths.)
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
[This starts a series of flashbacks; the first one is from Episode 106: The One With The Butt, Joey is in a play called Freud!.]
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
Mike: This is the first time hes ever used this product, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (To Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
Lauren: So this is it? Victor?
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (Smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (Gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne baby Im gonna want to meet her.
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names their boat Coast Guard anyway?
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Chandler is entering and when he closes the door Joey pops his head out of the fort like before, but this time he's wearing a cowboy hat.]
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
Ross: Wow! We are pretty good at this!
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-youGo to the doctor!
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Joey: You guys, this is Shelley, shes interviewing me for Soap Opera Digest, and Shelley, this are my friends
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
The Interviewer: Umm, Im gonna just go get this warmed up. (She takes her coffee mug up to the counter.)
[They gang all lean back to listen better, and this starts another series of flashbacks. The first one is from Episode 214: The One With The Prom Video, Rachel has just found the bracelet that Joey gave Chandler, which is after he bought one to replace it.]
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Rachel: Ive never lived like this before.
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
The Interviewer: (returning) Oh wait! I almost forgot. We have to ask everybody this. Other than Days of Our Lives, whats your favorite soap opera?
Ross: Wow! This picture of you sure is steamy.
Rachel: Then, we had this big, stupid fight, and I said I wanted to take a break, I dont want to take a break.
Ross: You weren't there! Okay, maybe this is something that I-I'm supposed to seize! Y'know?
Joey: Maybe this should be more of a quiet game.
Monica: Umm, this is going to be fun. Watch me freak out Chandler. Honey?
Ross: Oh, okay, yknow what this is? This is a difference of opinion. And when that happens in a marriage...
Joey: Oh my God, that's great! I'm smart!! No, no, I'm... (he uses the Thesaurus) "brainy, bright, clever", I love this thing! Look out ladies, Joey Tribbiani's got the whole package!!
MONICA: That's Great. You know we don't need to talk about this now. Really, I mean this is, is so way, way, way, in the future, I'm talkin' hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet.
Monica: This doesnt feel weird!
Phoebe: (to her date) Okay, and then this is the coffee house. This is where I play my music. (points to the stage)
Chandler: (looks around) Here just take this. (Hands her the sweater.)
Ross: How are we gonna decide who gets this?
RACHEL: How did this happen?
Joey: I dont know. I guess theres just always been this distance yknowI mean we both try to pretend its not there, but it is.
RACHEL: Daddy, daddy, you know what, I really wanna hear more about this, I really do, but I just have, I just have to do a, some stuff.
RACHEL: This is Joey, and Phoebe, and this is Chandler, and you remember Ross.
Monica: Ooh, and I can do this. (She kisses him on the cheek.)
Ross: Yeah, uh, uh, ok, there's this great rare bookstore on Madison Avenue. You know what? She loves architecture, you know what you should do? You should take a walk down fifth to the Saint Patrick's Cathedral and there there's this great little pastry shop that she'd love.
Rachel: No way. No way did you do this.
Monica: I know. How could we have let this happen?
Monica: Oh my God! YOU FORGOT THE PIES? Well, I cannot believe this. You force me to make dinner, then you're an hour late and you forget the one little thing that I asked you to do.
Mr. Geller: Kids, I spoke to a doctor and picked up this pamphlets on how to get pregnant. (He slides them under the door.)
RACHEL: It's just this thing. Every year we would go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks. Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side and my dad would be upset becasue nobody was helping and then when we did help he would scream at us for doing it wrong. But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up, you know, and it'd get really cold, and we would all just sort of smush under this one blanket. It never occured to anybody to bring another one. And now it's just...
LITTLE BULLY: Actually, you know, uh, I gotta show this apartment tomorrow and uh, you know, this no faces thing might not be a bad idea.
Kathy: Yes! Yeah! Joey has great hair! Umm, Im basically done here. Just let me get this off your neck.
Chandler: (smiling) If we keep talking this way, aren't we gonna freak her out soon?
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.
Ross: Huh? Oh, I got this(Holds up this pink frilly thing)this!
Joey: Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... (pause) no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!?
Cheryl: Okay, um, don't take this the wrong way, but your place kinda has a weird smell.
Chandler: Yknow uh, I didnt actually do this.
Joey: Pheebs, you gotta stop this, I working on commission here.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?
Joey: (picking up a leftover part) What's this?
Rachel: And everybody knows this?
Chandler: This is terrible. What am I going to do?
Monica: Okay. (They kiss.) Okay, I cant wait! This is going to be the best Valentines Day ever! (Chandler giggles and exits.) I cant believe it! Make the presents! Make the presents!
Kathy's Co-Star: Sooo, youve been doing this long?
Ross: What is this?!
Joey: Yes! Yes!! And every time you look at it, I want you to remember that you are a good person. Okay, youve had the chance to cheat, and with me, but you didnt. And thats what this ring stands for.
Rachel: Cmon, seriously, you guys, youre not going to make me watch this alone!
Rachel: Wow! This is great! Look at all these cups! This is so weird.
Rachel: What bank is this?
Mike: Yeah, I understand, but before you do, she really needs to hear this.
Monica: Hi. Alan, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Alan.
Monica: I can't believe this! This is like the worst night ever!
[Scene: The apartment in the listing, the guys are checking it out. There's one problem though, it's roughly the size of this computer screen. As they enter Joey lets out a whistle.]
Rachel: Joey, is this that thing that you do when you say you're bad so I'll give you a compliment?
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!
Chandler: Hey, this is so unfair!
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) Im telling ya, Joannas got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, This was fun. Lets do it again sometime. Ill give you a call.
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
Chandler: Oh, we could do this all day.
(She puts her leg up on the chair and removes this huge knife from her boot to open the box with. The guys are shocked at the knife's existence.)
Ross: Oh Im, Im making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do.
JOEY: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies.
Kathy: Okay, so let me just get this straight. Youre accusing me of cheating on you, and insulting my performance?
Rachel: No! Yknow what? No! No! You thing was so stupid anyway, this was ridiculousWere gonna flip a coin! (Phoebe gasps.) All right?! (She flips the coin.) Heads! (Looks at the coin and grunts in disgust.)
Phoebe: (hopping off the bike) Wait! This seat is really uncomfortable! Yeah, maybe before we start we should just get another one. Perhaps, like an airplane seator a beanbag chair!
Joey: All right. Okay. Well this is the same kind of deal. If youre going to do something wrong, (He grabs two steaks from the freezer) do it right!
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
Erin: Hi. I dont mean this to sound like high school, but did he say anything about me?
Joey: (to Monica) Hey, how much will you give me to eat this whole jar of olives?
RACH: Ok, he's goin' to get my coat. He's goin' to get my coat. Oh my god, you guys. I can't believe this. This is unbelievable. [notices Chandler's computer screen] What's that?
Chandler: Im kidding. This is going to be fun.
(Seeing Rachels apparently okay with this, the rest of the gang jumps up to congratulate Ross and Emily on their pending nuptials.)
Monica: Ok, I'm sensing that this is some kind of word play, because you are pink with barely controlled glee.
Dr. Long: Huh. Nice to meet you. Ill get started on this.
[Scene: Back to the living room. Monica and Rachel enter and hug each other. The guys see this.]
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
Chandler: Well, this was great. Ill give you a call. We should do it again sometime. (Rachel is disappointed)
Monica: (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5 (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old number! Jennys been giving it out since they moved!
Rachel: Oh no. No Ross, dont do this.
CHANDLER: I can't believe the guys missed this.
Rachel: Come on, its a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasnt smoked since.
Ross: Oh, no, Mom, its just Monica this year.
Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain.)
Phoebe: Umm, look we dont, we dont really know each other so it would be really easy to just forget about this, but there seems to be something between us. And I dont know about you but that doesnt happen to me a lot.
Chandler: Nooo!! Shes really dull! And she gets this gross mascara goop thing in the corner of her eye!
Ross: How about we settle this right now! (He rips up the tickets.) There! Now, no one's going to the game. Ha-ha-ha!
Ross: Okay is there some kind of magic tunnel to this hospital?!
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
Chandler: Y'know, we don't have to watch this. Weekend At Bernie's is on Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax.
Joey: Check this out? Huh? (Joey has this big tall hat with a British flag on the front of it.) Yeah. Thats the stuff. What do you think?
Rachel: Ah! You know what honey guys are just different, they like things that we can't understand, you know I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend he was an archeologist and I was a naughty cave woman that he unfroze from a block of ice.
Ross: Dont you realise none of this wouldve ever happened if I didnt think at that same moment you werent having sex with Mark?
Ross: Rach, have you never done this before?
Phoebe: Hi, Ben. I'm your father. I am... the head. Aaaaaahhhh.... (puts picture down, sees Ross staring at her) Alright, this barbecue is gonna be very fun.
Phoebe: It's a tarantula! (Joey almost falls down from his drum-stool jumping up) Oh! God! Rachel, look, I'm sorry. What was I thinking giving Joey this big, gross, scary spider in such a poorly constructed cage?
Amanda: Oh! Gosh! This is brilliant. Gosh, it's just like old times. I'm so happy you two are friends again!
Monica: Cause I dont want to encourage this kind of behaviour.
Chandler: No, I just had to get a picture of this.
Rachel: All right, its okay. One little setback is okay, just dont let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But Im just gonna take the-the pajmena. (Ross hands it to her.) And the uh, and the uh pants. Yknow what, Im just gonna take it all away, cause that way youll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, Im gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. (Leaves with all of Jills stuff.)
Joey: If you ask me, as long as you got this job, youve got nothing pushing you to get another one. You need the fear.
Monica: Sorry! I'm justI'm not very good at this! I'm a terrible liar and I hate having to lie to Rachel!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, maybe this whole heart attack thing is a sign, that-that you should start think about getting a different job.
Carol: Y'know what, I want to talk to you about this so much, but we should probably do it when we could really get into it, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?
Rachel: Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows (points at her own to emphasize the word) shaped to do this alright? Do you understand how important that is in our world?
Joey: Look Rach, wasnt this supposed to a temporary thing? I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff?
Pete: Yeah, stupidly charming isnt it? Well listen lets, you wanna get something to eat? Cause this place is kinda depressing. (they start to leave)
Rachel: And uh, yeah, I didnt really, I didnt want to say anything, but it kinda it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then (Ross joins in) to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess.