words in movies
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Joey: Remember what happened the last time I did an interview for them? I said I write a lot of my own lines, and then the writers got mad and made my character fall down the elevator shaft. So who knows what I might say this time.
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
The Interviewer: I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.
Chandler: No, were just four people with neck problems. You talk like this. (Out of the sides of their mouths.)
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
[This starts a series of flashbacks; the first one is from Episode 106: The One With The Butt, Joey is in a play called Freud!.]
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
Mike: This is the first time hes ever used this product, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (To Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
Lauren: So this is it? Victor?
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (Smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (Gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne baby Im gonna want to meet her.
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names their boat Coast Guard anyway?
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Chandler is entering and when he closes the door Joey pops his head out of the fort like before, but this time he's wearing a cowboy hat.]
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
Ross: Wow! We are pretty good at this!
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-youGo to the doctor!
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Joey: You guys, this is Shelley, shes interviewing me for Soap Opera Digest, and Shelley, this are my friends
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
The Interviewer: Umm, Im gonna just go get this warmed up. (She takes her coffee mug up to the counter.)
[They gang all lean back to listen better, and this starts another series of flashbacks. The first one is from Episode 214: The One With The Prom Video, Rachel has just found the bracelet that Joey gave Chandler, which is after he bought one to replace it.]
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Rachel: Ive never lived like this before.
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
The Interviewer: (returning) Oh wait! I almost forgot. We have to ask everybody this. Other than Days of Our Lives, whats your favorite soap opera?
Ross: Wow! This picture of you sure is steamy.
Phoebe: This is Patrick.
Phoebe: No, you cant let this stop you from getting massages! No look, I have, I have lots of clients that make the same noises you do!
Rachel: Well-well that's 'cause I went down there and they were all smoking. This is actually the smell of success.
Bob: I just had a meeting, I was actually hoping to get transferred up here, but I just found out its not gonna happen. Apparently somebody thinks Im not eleventh floor material. Say uh, who the hell is this Chandler?
Monica: I'm sorry, why is this girl going to call me?
Ross: (on the phone) Ive been thinking, this is crazy, I mean dont, dont you think we can work on this?
Chandler: (interrupting him) All this lying has been hard on us too.
Monica: Ok, how about this: We got wind up toys for Emma for her birthday. We can make them race, and whoever comes in last, stays!
Rachel: Wow! Well, clearly this is not a good time.
Rachel: Uh, look Ross, this really isn't easy.
Precious: I just can't believe this... Why?
Ross: (Thinking it over) Sure! (Takes one) Hey, I just found out, I get Ben for the holidays this year.
Joey: Ah, Gunther, I cant pay for this right now because Im not working, so Ive had to cut down on some luxuries like uh, payin for stuff.
Joey: Okay wait-wait p-please be cool! Okay? I work with this woman.
Phoebe: Im sorry, but I just wrote the best dance song for your wedding. Check this out. (Gets ready to play.)
Chandler: This is what I want to do.
Rachel: We feel so terrible about this, Ross.
Chandler: You know, it haunts me? Up til now, the worst thing I ever saw, was my father doing tequila shots off the naked houseboy. After this, I would gladly make that my screensaver!
Chandler: (writing) Monica, there are no words (To Joey and Ross) There are no words! This should not be this hard!
Monica: Oh, when you get over this breakup we need to go shopping.
Phoebe: Hey, what's all this stuff?
Rachel: Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. (to Phoebe) Is this actually a lunchbox?
Ross: Monica you really think I should try this phasing out thing?
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
Colleen: Well, actually, I think this might help.
PHOEBE: [pauses the tape] Ok, Ben, this is the part where Ernie buries Bert in the sand and can't find him. Now, I've looked ahead on the tape and he does find him again. But, ok, before that happens, there's some pretty rough goin' for a while but I think we can handle it. And, there's just the alphabet but we know that ends well so. Ok, here we go. [starts the tape again]
Hotel Clerk: I think you'll find this room more to your liking.
Charlie: Oh, you know what? This is nothing. My father is a raging alcoholic.
Frank Jr.: Oh, you'd be getting a really good one. I mean, you know, he's really funny. Like, the other day he made up this joke.
Ross: No. I... I wanted to be with you. I dont know, I feel like lately, I feel like youre slipping away from me, y'know. With this new job, and all these new people, and youve got this whole other life going on. I-I-I know its dumb, but I hate that Im not a part of it.
Phoebe: I lost a whole year! I cant believe it! This is so unfair!
Rachel: (entering, with a guy) Hi guys! This is Josh. Josh, these are my friends, and that's Ross.
Monica: Come on, okay, come on this is for all womankind. Lets kill um!
Chandler: The reason we havent told them were together is because they hate me, okay? So will you fix this?
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I'm having another one! This one doesn't hurt eitherOoh, yes it does! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh! (Checks under the blanket.) Oh, I was kinda hoping that was it.
Monica: All right then, when Im done with this place, its gonna be ten times better than that place!
Rachel: Oh my God! This is it! (She and Phoebe hold hands.) (To Phoebe) I really hope its you!
Rachel: Well this is romantic!
Joey: Yeah, like you could find something as sophisticated as this.
Mr. Oberblau: (seeing her) Oh, you're back... (to Ross) this is my wife, Nancy.
Phoebe: Ooh, this is so exciting! Ooh, God, what are you going to bet?
CHAN: Y'know, maybe this isn't such a big deal. Y'know, I mean, the way that I see it is you get a great job and you get to have sex. Y'know, I mean, throw in a tree and a fat guy and you've got Christmas.
CHAN: [to Phoebe] Listen, Phoebs, this is gonna be OK. [introducing Russ and Ross] Ross, Russ. Russ, Ross.
Ross: When they see this you'll be 52!
Joey: my god woman! How many people do you have to had been with not to remember any of this?
Chandler: Hey, no way! Come on, this is you guys, call her and work it out.
Ross: (takes a drink) Damn, this coffees cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? (Joey and he both laugh.)
Ross: Yeah, I need uh Im justI dont knowI dont understand, umm, how this happened? We-we used a condom.
Phoebe: Okay, well if I was in this for the money, Id be a millionaire by now, y'know. You just got to get out of that jingle head sweetie.
Ross: Yeah, yeah that means... you know? We just... we don't have time for this.
Judy:(to Jack) Jack, look at this.
Chandler: To be fair this one does have nuts.
Phoebe: Wow! Okay, dude alert! And who is this guy?
Chandler: This coming from the man who couldnt split our 80 dollar phone bill in half.
MONICA: God, this is so hard. I can't decide between lamb or duck.
Chandler: No you are not! You are sweet and wonderful and this is gonna happen for you.
Rachel: No, you! Phoebe you freaked me out. You kept saying how huge this all is!
Ross: I just, I hate this so much! I mean, every time I go pick her up at the airport, its-its so great. But at the same time Im thinking, "Well, Im gonna be right back there in a couple of days, dropping her off."
Ross: Okay, well, if she always behaves like this, why don't you say something?
Monica: I'm not going to be a part of this! You can't just bring some random guy at home and expect him to be our sperm donor!
Ross: Okay, Phoebe, this Dr. Oberman. He has no strong feelings about Fonzie or any of the Happy Days gang.
Phoebe: If I havent said it before: shes a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going towhat the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which shes been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? Whats the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, its nice! May I try a pink one?
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Phoebe: ME TOO! I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD LOVE SOMEONE THIS MUCH!
Ross: Look, this is hard enough! I really need you guys right now.
Chandler: I asked myself that very question, sir. Uh, (Points to Monica) this is Monica. (Points to his boss.) This is my boss, Doug. Doug this is Monica.
Rachel: Wait, but theres no money! Well this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in like a, rec. center!
Ross: I don't think that's what this is.
Rachel: No, there is no Rachel Greep, but then this other girl overheard us and she was all, "Im Rachel Greep! Im Rachel Greep!" and he let her right in.
PHOEBE: OK. I just met this producer of this like, teeny record company, who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of Smelly Cat.
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
Ross: I loved this place! To tell you the truth, I wish I didn't have to move.
Joey: Dont you see what this means?! I can forget about that stupid movie. I'm gonna be a millionaire!
Rachel: Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.
Rachel: I-I dont want your job. I-I dont. Ohh this is such a mistake. I did not make out with him. Nobody made out with him. I did not use my keycard yesterday. I dont even know how to use my keycard. (The elevator stops. Ralph steps on.)
Jamie: This could be Gods way of telling us to eat at home.
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
Mike: I'm gonna do this now.
(Phoebe has this weird, anxious, nervous look on her face)
Chandler: Ye.... (stops because he realises what Joey just said, and stares at him. At this moment Monica enters)
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
Amy: Um... Charlie, this is Rachel's sister Amy. Amy, this is Charlie.
Rachel: I dont care! I wanna meet this guy who's the best sex she ever had!
Morse: You see, thats why I did so bad on this test. Im having a hard time concentrating. When youre up there (Points to the podium) and youre teaching and your face gets all serious you look so good. (In a sexy voice) You wear that tight little turtleneck sweater
Joey: Chandler? Forty-five minutes? Well, something is not right. I just can’t believe he would do this to Monica!
Monica: You wanna meet some people? This is uh; this is my husband Chandler. Chandler, this is Will.
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
Rachel: Well, this is going well. (Chandler looks worried)
Chandler: Well, that is what happened, and I dont even see you denying this!
(He goes to the bathroom and after he leaves Rachel goes through his coat and grabs the keys along with a $20 bill. The woman from before watches her do this.)
Rachel: Joey, we're not keeping this!
Phoebe: This is how I look when I'm turned on!
Charlie: I can't believe this.
Joey: Im tellin ya, he hasnt moved since this morning.
Ross: Sweetie, this conversation is starting to make me a little uncomfortable.
Rachel: Ooh! Oh wow this is so beautiful. (she got a scarf)
Charity guy: Well, this is very generous!
PHOEBE: Oh no, you're not supposed to be here. This is the staging area, you should, it's all wrong, you should leave, ya know, get out. [opens the door, the guys are right there] Or perhaps you'd like a creme d'menthe.
Ross: Come on. These people'll scooch down. You guys'll scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on. Come on. Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristin. Uh, Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin, Kristin...(struggling)...does something that, funnily enough, wasn't even her major!
Ross: Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isnt about the room, this is about what the room represents! And unfortunately, this room (Points to Rachels room) could destroy you!!