words in movies
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Joey: Remember what happened the last time I did an interview for them? I said I write a lot of my own lines, and then the writers got mad and made my character fall down the elevator shaft. So who knows what I might say this time.
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
The Interviewer: I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.
Chandler: No, were just four people with neck problems. You talk like this. (Out of the sides of their mouths.)
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
[This starts a series of flashbacks; the first one is from Episode 106: The One With The Butt, Joey is in a play called Freud!.]
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
Mike: This is the first time hes ever used this product, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (To Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
Lauren: So this is it? Victor?
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (Smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (Gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne baby Im gonna want to meet her.
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names their boat Coast Guard anyway?
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Chandler is entering and when he closes the door Joey pops his head out of the fort like before, but this time he's wearing a cowboy hat.]
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
Ross: Wow! We are pretty good at this!
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-youGo to the doctor!
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Joey: You guys, this is Shelley, shes interviewing me for Soap Opera Digest, and Shelley, this are my friends
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
The Interviewer: Umm, Im gonna just go get this warmed up. (She takes her coffee mug up to the counter.)
[They gang all lean back to listen better, and this starts another series of flashbacks. The first one is from Episode 214: The One With The Prom Video, Rachel has just found the bracelet that Joey gave Chandler, which is after he bought one to replace it.]
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Rachel: Ive never lived like this before.
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
The Interviewer: (returning) Oh wait! I almost forgot. We have to ask everybody this. Other than Days of Our Lives, whats your favorite soap opera?
Ross: Wow! This picture of you sure is steamy.
Monica: I'm so sorry, I can't believe I did this, but I couldn't stop laughing at your Norman Mailer story.
Phoebe: And we don't want any recognition. This is completely anonymous.
Ross: Wow! We are pretty good at this! Hey! We totally forgot about lunch!
Phoebe: No they ran out of "Its a girl" but I can fix this one, (She writes "not" in between its and a) See?
MONICA: You know what? I'm not gonna be able to enjoy this.
Chandler: Pheebs, can you help me pick out an engagement ring for Monica? I cant figure this out! Its so hard! Should I get her a (turning to each page) Tiffany cut or a Princess cut or aah-ah! Paper cut!
Mona: You dont think this is too fast.
ROSS: [childishly] OK. OK, this is a picture frame from Ben to my parents, huh.
Monica: This woman's living my life.
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Nurse: (calling to the woman) This rooms available.
Monica: Why? It's just that I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this, and you can't even wait four and a half minutes for a stupid onion tartlet?
Phoebe: I don't know what I'm gonna do about this coat.
Joey: I can't believe it, Ross. This sucks!
Rachel: Ah, I-I never should have said what I said. Ityknow what? It just doesn't matter how I feel. I mean we work together, so nothing could really ever happen between us, and what I would love is just to go to work on Monday, and-and never talk about this again, okay? Big day Monday lots to do. So, we're okay?
Chandler: (interrupting in the nick of time) Joey, I uh! I can't believe this is how I'm spending my anniversary.
Passenger: But why? He loves this...this Emily person. No good can come of this.
Ross: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
Charlie: I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely.
Monica: The dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. This is so exciting.
Monica: No, no. It felt nice to acknowledge this. (pats Chandler on his leg)
Phoebe: Oh Rachel, this is all so Papa dont preach.
Joey: With this ring? (Her engagement ring.) No contest.
Chandler: (To Joey) Look there is no way youre doing this wedding now. Okay?
Ross: Yeah... I guess. I don'tI don't know. Alright, just... just give her this for me, OK? (gives Chandler a gift for Rachel)
RACH: Here he is. Hi. Guys, this is Russ.
Rachel: Can you not look at me when I say this? (He turns around) I thought that if I could get you here, I could seduce you.
Ross: Yknow what? Shed-shed love this. (Picks up a model of the Saturn V rocket, thats the one that took man to the moon.) Uh, its an exact replica of Apollo 8. I made it in the sixth grade.
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
RACH: All right, you know what, that's fine. If you guys want to be children about this, that's fine. I do not need to see it. [Rachel grabs the paper and runs across the room, reading it to herself.]
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Ross: Please. This is so your fault.
Monica: This is it. Yeah, this is the one. I cant believe I found it!
Joey: All right, listen, Ross... you like this girl, right?
Chandler: Look Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.
Susan: It's gonna be ok, just remember, we're doing this for Jordie. Just keep focusing on Jordie.
Mindy: Um.. we should really be sitting for this.
Rachel: Well, yknow this whole marriage thing, kinda my idea.
Monica: Alright, let me ask you this question: How many of you thought the music was fine, but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant? (a few raise their hands again).
Rachel: At his apartment. Is this juice?
Chandler: This is the New York Times.
Phoebe: This is so great.
Phoebe: Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! (Answering the phone.) Go!! Whos this? (Listens) Oh okay, youre gonna like working for me. Whats your name? (Listens) What kind of name is Brendy? I Whatever Stop talking! All right, from now on your name is Joan. You can pick your own last name.
Ross: I know, I know I was, but there was always this little voice inside that kept saying it's never gonna happen, move on. You know whose voice that was?
Rachel: Okay now Joey, y'know that since you're returning all of this stuff right after the audition you're gonna have to wear underwear?
Monica: And listen to this... (shakes her body so the shells tingle)
Monica: I dont understand, I mean am I so hard to live, is this why I dont have a boyfriend?
Rachel: Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr
Rachel: Joey, just because theyre not getting married doesnt mean this is going to be a disaster. Maybe they have a plan!
Joey: (to the fireman) Hey buddy, do you think I can borrow your uniform this Thursday?
Rachel: Me too. Oh, I'm just sorry I'm not gonna be around to watch you two attempt to handle this! Alright, I can't say goodbye to you guys again. I love you all so much.
Rachel: Who's this from?
Chandler: (seriously) It means that we can keep trying, but there's a good chance this may never happen for us.
Monica: I can't believe he did this.
Chandler: All right, lets break this down. What exactly did he say to you?
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dead.
Rachel: I mean, this is unbelievable.
Chandler: Shes moving on! Okay, if its not this guy, its gonna be somebody else! And unless youre thinking about subletting my peep hole, you are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over! Okay, man? Its over.
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
Monica: Maybe this wasn't your shot.
Amy: No, she was this really dorky girl in high school that used to follow Rachel around like a puppy dog.
Joey: Yeah, I (Shuts off the TV.) I dont want Stevie to see her like this.
Joey: Why are you taking this away from me?
Phoebe: (looks at the amount on the check, and gasps) Well, this is very generous!
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
Rachel: HuhWait so Joey if you get this, youre gonna be like the star of your own TV show! I mean youll be like the Big Cheese! (To Phoebe) Or the Big MacHey! You love those!
Joey: Um, this?
Chandler: Well, this is fascinating. So, uh, what is it about me?
Joeys Head: Okay, it all comes down to this. Whatever happens, happens. Destiny.
Julie: ...and this guy...
Chandler: I dont think weve actually done this before!
Phoebe: Um, well, Max told me about Minsk, so (Puts on a fake cheery voice) congratulations! This is so exciting!
Ross: Oh, oh, we did say wed stop by this little thing Joeys roommate is having.
Rachel: Chandler, you stole this cheesecake. That is wrong.
Monica:: Oh well this is the only one they had at our video store, but they did have something called crocodile killers. Or does it always have to be sharks?
Monica: How can you smoke in this day of age? Do you not seen that ad with a little kid walks to grandpa, it�s chilling.
Monica: (she hugs Chandler) Honey, you've been really strong about this, I know how badly you wanted that job.
PHOEBE: Hey Rach, wanna hear the new song I'm thinkin' of singing this afternoon? I wrote it this morning in the shower.
Ross: Um. I know it says black tie optional, but, um this may be pushing it a little, um.
Chandler: (sarcastic) For an emergency just like this.
Ross: Im giving this lecture on erosion theories tomorrow night, I think you should come.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Rachel: Okay, what? What is too sensitive? (There's music coming from the living room. Ross opens the door to the living room and he and Rachel see Sandy play a song for Emma on his recorder. Rachel is moved by this, but Ross only sees his point proven again, and walks back into the kitchen, angrily. The door he was holding, swings back and hits Rachel.)
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Vince: Phoebe, Phoebe relax, its okay. I mean we never said this was exclusive.
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Joey: Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
Rachel: Oh, this is so cute.
Joey: I mean seriously, shes like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadnt and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and (Realizes everyone is staring.) I havent bummed you guys out like this in a while have I?
Chandler: It's fine, it's fine. Look, do you wanna get this part, or not? Here.
Rachel: (breaking up) Were just really very excited about this charity event that we have to go to.
(She is wearing this giant straw hat, the brim on it must be at least, least foot wide.)
Joey: Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.
Ross: (sets Ben down) Well, it's not for sure but umm, we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was really cute--y'know, which he is--so umm anyhoo, he uh, he gave us his card and told us to bring him down for this commercial he's auditioning.
Receptionist: Well, I think this is a great place to work!
Chandler: Hey, look, youre in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, shes gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.
PHOEBE: Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.
Chandler: No, there are great pictures of you standing next to a guy whos going like this (Makes what can only be described as a toothy frown. Henceforth, this shall be known as The Face.)
Monica: Well I-I talked to and uh, shes definitely going to have this baby. Yknow, she said she was gonna raise it on her own.