words in movies
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Joey: Remember what happened the last time I did an interview for them? I said I write a lot of my own lines, and then the writers got mad and made my character fall down the elevator shaft. So who knows what I might say this time.
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
The Interviewer: I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.
Chandler: No, were just four people with neck problems. You talk like this. (Out of the sides of their mouths.)
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
[This starts a series of flashbacks; the first one is from Episode 106: The One With The Butt, Joey is in a play called Freud!.]
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
Mike: This is the first time hes ever used this product, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (To Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
Lauren: So this is it? Victor?
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (Smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (Gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne baby Im gonna want to meet her.
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names their boat Coast Guard anyway?
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Chandler is entering and when he closes the door Joey pops his head out of the fort like before, but this time he's wearing a cowboy hat.]
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
Ross: Wow! We are pretty good at this!
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-youGo to the doctor!
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Joey: You guys, this is Shelley, shes interviewing me for Soap Opera Digest, and Shelley, this are my friends
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
The Interviewer: Umm, Im gonna just go get this warmed up. (She takes her coffee mug up to the counter.)
[They gang all lean back to listen better, and this starts another series of flashbacks. The first one is from Episode 214: The One With The Prom Video, Rachel has just found the bracelet that Joey gave Chandler, which is after he bought one to replace it.]
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Rachel: Ive never lived like this before.
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
The Interviewer: (returning) Oh wait! I almost forgot. We have to ask everybody this. Other than Days of Our Lives, whats your favorite soap opera?
Ross: Wow! This picture of you sure is steamy.
Chandler: (gasps) All right look, y'know, this maybe tough but come on, this is Ross! I survived college with him!
Ross: She was blonde? (he looks surprised for a while, but then gets a "gotcha" expression on his face... There's knocking at the door.) Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years.
Phoebe: Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now!
Ross: 'That thing'? This is how you greet guests at a party? Let me ask you something, if I showed up here with my new girlfriend, she wouldn't be welcome in your home?
Joey: (eating) Huh. So then I can heat this up? (Goes and does so.)
Chandler: I think we may have really done it this time.
Rachel: No, no dont get mad because lookthis is what happened. So I-I started packing, then I realized, "What am I doing? I am lousy at packing!" Right? But you love packing! So, as a gift to you, on our last night, ta-da!
Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
Rachel: Yeah. Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside. (Sitting down on the couch.) You guys are never going to believe this. But, Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren.
Rachel: Look, I cannot do this right now, okay, Ive got a deadline, would you just go home, Ill talk to you later. (storms out)
Kristen: Umm, this is great wine.
Ross: No! No its not. Joey, this is a smart idea.
Monica: Please... honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the harpist should wear white.
Phoebe: All right well lets see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boatThis is hard!
Rachel: I am not gonna show you this!
Joey: Yeah, its this great part, this boxer named Nick. And Im so, so right for it, y'know, hes just like me. Except hes a boxer, and has an evil twin.
Jack: That’s true! This message could becoming to you from beyond the grave, Emma!
Monica: I... I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair! (Tries to move her huge hair away from the phone, in vain)
Phoebe: This is so cool, til Monica gets back, its like Im head chef and I get to make all the decisions. (She looks at the remaining butter, and then decides to add it to the dish.)
Phoebe: See? This is why you register.
Rachel: Joey, you cant keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.
Ross: I promise you she’s safe! No watch how much she loves this.
Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
Tag: Oh, yeah, this is from Rachel.
Joey: Hey Kash. Uh hey-hey this is Ross. Ross, this is Kash.
Ross: Look at it this way: you dumped her. Right? I mean, this woman was unbelievably sexy, and beautiful, intelligent, unattainable... Tell me why you did this again?
Phoebe: Yeah, and these are my friends. People. This is Vince, Vince the people.
Rachel: Well umm, that one is pretty but uh, I just, I just love this fabric (On the other one.) Sorry.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Okay quick, help me get this off! (Motions to her top.)
Courtney: This particular time when he continued to fall or yknow, try not to fall, I was in the room with Matthew and Matthew was like, "Should I do it?"
The Director: Okay. (to Alex) All right uh, Alex now when Joey says his line, "Take good care of your Momma son," thats your cue to cry. Got it? (Alex nods yes.) All right, lets do this.
ROSS: You know, I might have expected this of you Phoebe, but Ryan, you're a military man.
Ross: Sorry, Im kinda keeping this one on the Q.T.
Janice: But I love my husband. And I know you love your wife. Now, I don't think we should get this house now.
Rachel: (To Monica) Oh, you did this to him?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Phoebe: All right, prude... Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. You are not gonna talk them into staying here.
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny when my parents got divorced, they sent me to this shrink, and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves. But in your case it's actually kinda true.
Monica: Oh! (Gets up) Lets see, well if this is the wedding hall then umm (Walks away) youre parents will be at home in Queens.
Ross: Look, I didnt want to rush into anything. And it seemed like she didnt want to either. But I dont, I dont understand how any of this happened! What? Did she find the ring in my jacket, assume that I was going to propose, throw it on, and-and just start telling people?
Rachel: I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.
Phoebe: Hey, you guys, listen, this weekend we're all gonna go to Las Vegas to surprise Joey! Including me!! You wanna go?!
Chandler: Youre right, and Im sorry! This means a lot to me! I want you to be my friend again! I swear, I wont say another word tonight.
Rachel: Clearly you dont want people to see this tape. Now I dont want people to see this tape either, but you so badly dont people to see it makes me want to see it. You see?
Joey: You were amazing, could you just do me this huge favor, you see there's this one other audition that I really, really want, and Estelle couldn't get me in.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) So this is Brooklyn.
Joey: No, Pheebs, listen, if you decide to do this, well be supportive like crazy.
ROSS: No, that, that was, I mean, as opposed to uh, the uh, ok. Is this over yet Rach?
Phoebe: Yeah! It really has been great too, you know, some of this people must have seen me play before because they were requesting a bunch of my songs! Yeah, "You suck" and "shut up and go home".
Joey: See this is what I was afraid of, I didnt think I should be here either but somebody (Looks at Chandler) said hed be over it by now.
Ross: Oh umm, well uh, maybe-maybe later. Right now, Im about to dance with this lady.
Laura: Oh, it's nothing. I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building and it didn't end very well.
Chandler: This is so bad. If-if youre not Mary-Angela, then-then who is?
Rachel: Oh, you guys, I can't believe this. But I'll leave now, or I'm gonna miss my plane.
Doug: Uh Bing, I think we're gonna make this the last game.
Phoebe: Maybe this is too weird.
Phoebe: would you call this girl? (Puts on a crying act) thanks-fo-r-a-love-ly-even-ing
Ross: Thank you, Dr. Phillips, but Im having my lunch at this table, here in the middle. Im having lunch right here, with my good friend Joey, if hell sit with me.
Monica: (To Chandler) This is what happens when you dont register for gifts!
Monica: Well, usually when Im this anxious, I clean!
(They start the attempt. Ross is going backwards and reaches the first landing. This staircase has three steps then a landing, makes a 90-degree turn, and has more steps before another landing and another 90-degree turn.)
Phoebe: Oh. Ew! Ew! Ew! Ugh! Yknow what? This is too weird.
Rachel: What is this?
Joey: All right! Man, this is unbelievable!
Rachel: No-no-no! This chairs not going anywhere.
Monica: Wow! So, now youre going on a date with this girl?
Ross: Dad, dad, dad, I'm talkin' about the whole uh, baby thing. Did you uh, ever get this sort of... panicky, "Oh my god I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing?
Monica: Something went wrong with Underdog, and they couldn't get his head to inflate. So anyway, um, his head is like flopping down Broadway, right, and I'm just thinking... how inappropriate this is. Um, I've got something in my eye, uh, Joey, could we check it in the light, please?
Rachel: Excuse me! But this is a purebred, show-quality Sphinx cat!
Chandler: All right fine! But Im only doing this for you!
Ross: Look, this is just a little too familiar, okay? For like, for like six months before Carol and I spilt up, all I heard was: "My friend Susan is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great."
Chandler: (looks around) Here just...take this. (Hands her the sweater.)
Joey: Look, Chandler, I told you, never tell anyone about this dog thing. It's like Ross not likin ice cream.
Joey: I miss this.
ROSS: This is so exciting, I haven't seen my monkey in almost a year.
Rachel: Oh! Get over it soldier, we've gotta do this! (She pulls him towards her and throws him onto the barcalounger) Ok. Aha! You like that huh?
Ross: Trying to date this woman.
Phoebe: Yeah, its about relationships. Yknow? The traps, the pitfalls, what not to do, keep going. This stuff is great!
Ross: Should I leave this open for you too?
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
Monica: Why in the world would you take this tape and and why would you watch it?
Mona: Im not sure yet. Why didnt you just tell me about all this?
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
Ross: Maybe that will liven up this party.
Ross: Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. Im just gonna put this (The money) back in my pocket, pretend that didnt happen. Uh yeah, actually Im free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or
Ross: Umm say, I-I opened this earlier (The privacy screen) but let me give you guys some privacy.
Monica: All right okay, just so you know, Im not gonna make a turkey this year.
Mr. Treeger:: Ahh, forget it! Ill never be any good at this, my mom was right, Im just a big potato with arms, and legs, and a head.
Chandler: This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you. He keeps a tape so he can... look at it whenever he wants.
Joey: Uh, yeah... This guy at work got me excited about going in on an emu farm. That'd be kinda cool huh? Pitchin' in on the weekends, helping to plant the emus...
Joey: That sounds like another word to me! Are you gonna take this seriously? (Theres no response from Chandler.) Okay.
Rachel: Okay. So these signals Ross, explain this to me, cause maybe I need to be more careful. I mean, am I sending you these signals right now?
Ross: Oh here, I think this is us. (Reading the name cards.) Yeah.
Monica: This is Phoebe.
Ross: Am I! Am I! Am I out of my mind! Am I losing my senses!! This dreamy guy is taking my girlfriend out for a meal.
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
CHANDLER: This isn't your first surprise party, is it sir?
Chandler: He was asking all these questions about you, me, and London. And, of course the glue that holds this all together, the rules.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Sure, your dresser is missing but this she notices.