words in movies
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Joey: Remember what happened the last time I did an interview for them? I said I write a lot of my own lines, and then the writers got mad and made my character fall down the elevator shaft. So who knows what I might say this time.
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
The Interviewer: I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.
Chandler: No, were just four people with neck problems. You talk like this. (Out of the sides of their mouths.)
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
[This starts a series of flashbacks; the first one is from Episode 106: The One With The Butt, Joey is in a play called Freud!.]
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
Mike: This is the first time hes ever used this product, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (To Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
Lauren: So this is it? Victor?
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (Smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (Gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne baby Im gonna want to meet her.
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names their boat Coast Guard anyway?
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Chandler is entering and when he closes the door Joey pops his head out of the fort like before, but this time he's wearing a cowboy hat.]
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
Ross: Wow! We are pretty good at this!
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-youGo to the doctor!
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Joey: You guys, this is Shelley, shes interviewing me for Soap Opera Digest, and Shelley, this are my friends
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
The Interviewer: Umm, Im gonna just go get this warmed up. (She takes her coffee mug up to the counter.)
[They gang all lean back to listen better, and this starts another series of flashbacks. The first one is from Episode 214: The One With The Prom Video, Rachel has just found the bracelet that Joey gave Chandler, which is after he bought one to replace it.]
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Rachel: Ive never lived like this before.
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
The Interviewer: (returning) Oh wait! I almost forgot. We have to ask everybody this. Other than Days of Our Lives, whats your favorite soap opera?
Ross: Wow! This picture of you sure is steamy.
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Rachel: Well, look, it's hardly snowing anymore. I mean you couldn't ask for a more romantic setting. This could be the simple wedding you've always wanted!
Phoebe: Yea. Can I please, please, please talk to one of the best men? This is going to be the last time I promise.
Chandler: Damn! (stands up) The tailpipes not hot enough to light this!
Joey: Hey, best man number two, Joey Tribbiani. Now Im not good with the jokes like Chandler here. Boy...but ahh, I just want to say congratulation to the happy couple. I first met Ross in this coffee house back home...Home...New York City...Where everybody knows my name. Well anyway, I love you guys. (pointing at everyone.) But not as much as I love America. (Looking at Chandler.) Could we please..go home now?
Rachel: Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like Im going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and Im wearing underwear that goes up to about (She snaps the waistband on her underwear that is just slightly below her breasts) there.
Caitlin: (wanting more than anything to get the money and leave this horrible, horrible place) Yeah.
Chandler: I'd just like to say that I'm totally behind this experiment. In fact, I'd very much like to butter your head.
Chandler: (picking up a plastic cup similar to the one he deposited his specimen in) It is not okay that I'm aroused by this now.
Monica: Oh, I'm glad. Listen, I want to apologize about Chandler, though. I just did not see this coming.
Joey: I know, right? (Chandler has really big eyes, and nods) Wh... Wh... Why are we doing this?
Monica: It's some of Richard's hair! (holds it close to Ross) What do I do with this?
Ross: (knew this was coming) There it is... (he comes back)
Nurse: Hey, she just woke up! Shes hungry. Why dont we give this another try?
Phoebe: Ooh, this is it! (Looks in the window.) Oh, thats him! Thats him!
Ross: Im so glad youre going on this trip!
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, this is fun, couples night.
Tag: Then we went to this bar and he hooked us up with all these women!
Joey: Damnit woman were losing precious time! Now do you want this mans blood on your head?
Rachel: Ah, what is this? Well, lets see, we kissed for ten minutes and now we're talking to our friends about it, so I guess this is sixth grade!
Pete: Im fine! Id fight tonight, if theyd let me. (stands up and starts swinging his arms) See this circle Im marking off here? This is my zone of terror.
Monica: Are you saying that you dont want to get with this?
Phoebe: Oh, this could take a while.
Male Jeweler: (angrily) Are you interested in this ring?!
Rachel: No, I mean with us, you know. I mean, is it supposed to be this... difficult?
Joey: All right!! Okay, it was like four years ago. Okay, Ginger and I had gone out a few times, and then this one weekend, we went up to her Dads cabin. Just me, her, and her annoying little dog Pepper. Well that night, I cooked this really romantic dinner....
Monica: I dont believe this! When someone asks you in for lemonade, and to you that means they wanna have sex?
Ross: Yeah, yeah! (they hug) You sure this is what you want?
RACH: Oh my god, I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth.
Monica: Chandler, we have talked about this. You are not supposed to give people advice! Now couldn't you just have made some sort of inappropriate joke?
Phoebe: I dont know why I was so nervous about this. And I dont know why Frank and Alice are always complaining. This is so easy.
Phoebe: You okay with this?
Phoebe: Maybe nobody's tried this.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, dear. Jack, how do I turn this off?
Ross: Princess Leia, was wearing this, um, gold bikini thing. It was pretty cool.
Rachel: Monica, this is Dan (points to him), one of the guys that we're gonna be going out with on Saturday. (Mouths "He's yours." to her.) Uh Dan, Monica.
Ross: Yknow actually it does have a very interesting history. Uh, this street is the first street in the city to have an underground sewer system. (Kristen crinkles her nose at that.) Before that sewage and waste would just flow right down the street. Yeah, sometimes ankle deep! (He stops when he realizes what hes talking about.)
Chandler: Oh God, I can't believe I'm even considering this... I'm very very aware of my tongue...
Joey: I’m saying that… (pause). This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you’re fired. Goodbye. (he hangs up the phone).
(Rachel rips off another one, revealing another hole. Rachel then moves onto a third one, but this one doesnt have a hole underneath it.)
Monica: Is all this about you not being able to grow a moustache?
Rachel: Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you.
Monica: This dinner is gonna be so great! In your face, last year "me"!
RICHARD: Let's never speak of this.
Chandler: This can not be happening!
Chandler: Yknow what? I dont trust you with this cake anymore! And I got it first, and Im takin it back! (Grabs the cheesecake and heads for his apartment.)
Chandler: This is bringing out a lovely color in you!
Joey: (starting to cry) I have never known love like this.
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Phoebe: Okay, well they are a huge responsibility, especially at this age. They require constant care. They-they need just the right food, and lots and lots of love.
David: Well, i-it's okay. I-I-I understand... Well, s... well, are you happy with this guy?
Rachel: Hey, thanks Ross, for taking care of all of this.
Ross: So if you take this job you'll be moving to Paris?
Chandler: Is this the best way to use one of your three magic wishes?
Brenda: Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible! Whered you get it?
Phoebe: Joey, this is Mary Ellen Jenkins. So, Mike, how do you and Joey know each other anyway?
Monica: Ohh come on, I love this song! Come on, youll be fine. (She starts to walk towards the floor.)
Monica: Chandler, we cant let this tape wreck Valentines Day!
RICHARD: Oh, yeah, I don't like you this way. All right, I'll see you guys later.
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
ROSS: [puts the message in the cupboard] I don't know, I don't get, I don't get it, I mean, wh, wh, two months ago Rachel and I were like, this close. Right now, what, I'm takin messages from guys she, she meets at the movies? I mean this, this Casey should be takin' down my messages, ya know, or, or, Rachel and I should be together and, and we should get some kind of me, message service.
Chandler: I was just at the bank, and there was this really hot teller, and she didnt ask me to go do it with her in the vault.
Rachel: Okay, yknow, would you feel better if we went someplace else? I mean we could pack all this stuff up and yknow go to your apartment.
Rachel: It was like this crazy-eyed, hairy beast man! He was like a, like a bigfoot or a yeti or something!
Monica: Well then, y'know what? I care about you to much to watch you hurt yourself like this. So if you have to do this, then youre gonna have to do it without me.
Erica: You can do this. Just breathe.
Ross: Oh. This was amazing.
Rachel: Oh, well, I...It's kind of weird talking to you about this, but...
Ross: Have you seen this? It's a new alumni website for college! It's cool! You can post messages for people, let everyone know what you're up to.
Erica: Help me! This hurts!
Monica: So the wedding caterer sent me this list of twelve appetizers and I have to narrow it down to six.
Monica: So this is it, we're really gonna adopt?
Monica: This is unbelievable.
Chandler: You know, you should really go on this show. All right, listen, I got three tickets to the Rangers tonight. What'd ya' say?
Gary: No. But that reminds me, (handing back a clipboard) sign this.
Ross: Uh, Rach? Does this bakery by any chance also bake erotic cakes? Say for bachelorette parties?
Joey: This is so cool!
Ross: Alright, alright, let's do this!
Ross: No, you don't understand. This isn't a real cab.
This is a special out takes episode. The cast and Conan are sitting around the set of Central Perk, talking about the stuff weve never seen.
Rachel: Oh, shoot. I had it. Oh, I can't believe this.
Chandler: You know, you always cook this meal all by yourself. Let me help this year.
Joey: Hey, if anybody gets extra tickets, it should be me! This all thing was my idea! (takes the bowl from Monica)
Phoebe: Chandler sucks! He couldnt have gotten this good!
Ross: I am not doing this over the phone.
Rachel: This is ridiculous! I...
Rachel: I am still talking!! And then you chase away the one guy that I actually liked! I mean, no offense to you guys. Really! I mean (To Patrick) congratulations on all the cash, (He nods) and-and yknow(Feels Eldads hair)Wow! You do have very soft hair! But I would much rather go to the ball all by myself than go through anymore of this! Good-bye! (Grabs her stuff, starts to leave, then turns back suddenly, and to Eldad) Now do you use some sort of special conditioner on that hair?!
Rachel: Oh God, ohh, okay, y'know what, do you think ah, do you think that you just forget that I told you this?
Chandler: Wow, this is weird.
Joey: Yeah. Uh, does this mean there's nothing to eat?
Ross: This is it. Unless we're on a break.
Rachel: Okay. You and me, alright? This is it.
Phoebe: So, I guess this is it.
Phoebe: Hello, is this the creepy residence?
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
CAROL: I mean, I knew they were having trouble with this whole thing, but they're my parents. They're supposed to give me away and everything.
Patron: I believed you were saving this seat for someone.
Rachel: (on tape) Can you believe this is already happening? I mean it seems like yesterday they just got engaged.
Rachel: Look, I know what's going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?