words in movies
Chandler: Hey. (He sees that Ross is packing all of the hotel toiletries) Soaps? Shampoos? Are you really taking all this stuff?
Chandler: Yeah but you dont need(Picks up something)What is this?
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Monica: Whew. Although yknow, this is part of a salt and pepper set. I mean I guess yknow it may just count as a half a present. What do you think?
Phoebe: Well I guess its okay to open one more if its part of a set. Yknow, its probably this one. (Grabs another small one.)
Monica: Or this one! (She grabs and starts to open the biggest present.)
Phoebe: Ooh, is it someone in this building? Is it that tall guy from the first floor?
Monica: Wow. Yknow it is so weird. I mean, youre gonna tell this guy today and he has no idea whats gonna happen.
Phoebe: Pretty big? Its huge! God, this guy doesnt have a clue! Hes just walking down the street thinking, I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock! then bam! Hes a father and everythings different.
Phoebe: Okay. Then he still has this huge decision to make. Now hes walking around thinking, Do I want to be a dad? and then bam!
Joey: Well who is this guy?! Huh? Who is he? Cause I will track him down and kick his ass!
Chandler: Well this is great. Yknow, those cameras were the only thing that was gonna cheer Monica up today, shes really depressed.
Chandler: All my energy is going into not asking that question. I cant believe I screwed this up!
Ross: Im sorry man. (Formally dressed people start to enter.) Heres a thought. This is the same ballroom. Theres a band. Theres gonna be plenty of dressed up people.
Ross: No-no-no, Im saying we-we buy more of this (disposable cameras) at the gift shop, throw our tuxes back on, and take a few pictures. All we have to do is make sure not to get anybody elses faces.
Ross: Im telling you, this looks exactly like your wedding! Arent these the same flowers?
Rachel: No, you! Phoebe you freaked me out. You kept saying how huge this all is!
Rachel: I know, but I was just thinking about how huge this is for me. I didnt even go to how huge this was going to be for the father.
Phoebe: Youre thinking about this way too much. Just tell him and get it over with. Its like, its like ripping off this Band-Aid. (On her arm) Quick and painless, watch. (Rips it off.) Oh mother of See?
Joey: About a month ago this guy spent the night with Rachel, I didnt see who it was but (He walks out and closes the door.)
Joey: The guy left this.
Phoebe: I may play the fool at times, but Im a little more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that wont quit. (She takes the sweater out of her purse.) I believe this belongs to the father of your baby.
Tag: So, whats this about?
Phoebe: Rachel has something that she wants to tell you and umm, I believe that this is your red sweater.
Tag: No. (Unzips his coat.) This is my red sweater.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Obsessive Monica has finished opening all the presents. Shes ashamed of this, at least, because as someone enters ]
Joey: Hey Rach listen, no matter what this guy says I want you to know youre not gonna be alone in this.
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Ross: No-no, I took them from the hotel lobby. Yeah, they think they can charge me for some dirty movie and a bag of Mashuga nuts, they got another think coming. (Starts to leave.) Hey! My sweater! Ive been looking for this for like a month!
Ross: I am this close to tugging on my testicles again.
Joey: All right, heres a list of things for you to do today. Man, this going to be so great! Thank you so much! All right, I got to go to work Im delivering twins today, but only one of them is mine! (Exits.)
Phoebe: Its hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.
Ross: C'mon! This looks good!
Joey: (interrupting her) Can you tell me how this happened?
Phoebe: (to Ross) This place is awesome!
Rachel: Ah, this place is great!
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Monica: Hey, this afternoon you said you'd be supportive...
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching football, and its actually the right game Green Bay at Detroit (although not this years), as Monica is getting everything ready.]
Ross: You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired.
Rachel: Oh, okay. Uhh, well lets see. (Grabs his hand.) Youre aboutwell uh, this one is large. And this one(Grabs the other hand.)
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Girl: Wow, this place looks great.
Ross: I can't believe this is happening.
Rachel: No Mon, you want to put them in concentric circles. I want to do this.
Erica: I can't believe this.
Richard: Okay, okay, one things changed. But we still want different things and we know how this is gonna end.
Phoebe: Rachel, its okay. You dont have to do this. I believe you. All right? Okay, if-if you say that you kissed Melissa, then you kissed Melissa.
Monica: This is huge!
Joey: Really?! I like your natural color. Come on man, its a great part. Look, check it out. Im the lead guys best friend and I wait for him in this bar and save his seat. Listen-listen. Im sorry, that seats saved.
Ross: Oh well thats great, so I guess this is ah, this is good bye then. Huh? (picks a pad up off Rachels desk and tosses it into his box) Good bye.
Phoebe: Hey you guys wait! Guys! (Catches up to them.) This place is so much better than London! Okay? This lady dressed like Cleopatra gave me a coupon, 99 cent steak and lobster dinner. Huh!
Rachel: Oh you guys thanks for doing this.
Chandler: I know this is really hard and we're really sorry.
Phoebe: Yeah, but so is this.
Chandler: How can I not be upset? Okay? I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman and it turns out that she wanted you first!
Joey: Whoa, whoa, no, no, I-Im not playing with this guy, now.
Phoebe: Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client... Steve? (pause) Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef.
Phoebe: My massage client, Arthur? His daughter called and said that some guy that worked for me gave him a really weird massage this afternoon.
Ross: So, I just finished this fascinating book. By the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and-and-and live forever as a machine.
Chandler: Hey, look at this! (Holding a newspaper) Theyre lighting the big Christmas tree tonight.
Gene: You put this in your coffee.
Monica: You should feel great about yourself! You're doing this amazing independence thing!
Rachel: Ooh, this is soo sweet, Joey our little twinkle-toes.
Phoebe: Oh. (goes and answers the door and there is this huge black delievery guy.)
Ross: C'mon you guys, this is really important to us.
Rachel: Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I dont get.
Monica: Oh my God, this man is gonna get naked in my apartment!
Chandler: Okay, okay. You have to help us decide whose joke this is.
Monica: No, you dont want this. I want to have your grandmothers cookie recipe.
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
Russell: Yes, this Russell, Rosss divorce lawyer, just tell him that since I havent heard from him, I assume hes decided to give the marriage a try.
David: Alright, but after this I want to see you outside. If the rain stops.
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
Joey: All right, Im here, lets ahh, get this over with.
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Monica: What? When was this?
Ross: Perhaps I can persuade you. What if you can give your son this (Takes a huge egg out of his back) genuine pterodactyl egg (whispers) replica.
Chandler: Seriously, where did this happen?
Phoebe: Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed.
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
Joey: Oh no, no, no, let your dad get this.
Monica: This is the most special day of our lives.
Ross: Oh, well, uh, this is gonna sound kinda silly, but, do you remember my roommate Chandler Bing?
Ross: Fine! Fine! But this break-up was not all my fault, and she, she says here, (reading from the letter) If you accept full responsibility... (to Chandler and Joey) Full responsibility! ...I can begin to trust you again. Does that seem like something you can do. (yells at Joey) Does it?!!
EDDIE: Ah, just some basic dehydrating of a few fruits and vegetables. MAN ALIVE this thing's fantastic!
Jason: (to Phoebe) I-I cant believe this! You-youve slept with him?!
Chandler: All right, we havent had sex yet. Okay, whats the big deal? Yknow? This is special, and I want our love to grow until we move on to the next level.
Phoebe: Listen to this! My reading was wrong, Im not going die!
Phoebe: Wow, this is a lot!
Mike: (looking around the room) This is... great...
PHOEBE: I don't know how to say this, but I think when your wife's spirit left her body, it um, kind of stuck around in me.
[What follows is the final set of flashbacks that feature a whole lot of lovin between Chandler and Joey. Theres no words, just hugs and even the kiss from The One With The Monkey. All of this is set to the song, Youve Really Got a Hold on Me!]
Joey: I didnt tell him. I didnt know if you were telling people. This is back when I thought Kash was still people.
Rachel: You know what, I can't do this. I don't know which one of you guys to pick.
Monica: Oh man! If I had known I was coming to this party I never would have gotten married!
RACHEL: Ok, look you guys, I really don't want to get into this right now. I think it'll just make everyone uncomfortable.
Rachel: (laughing) Yeah, and-and you better make sure he tips you this time.
Monica: If only there were a smaller one to clean this one!
Ross: uhu uhu, check this out. (Chandler sits down and looks at laptop screen)
Monica: So, you're ready to do this?
Mr. Tribbiani: Just for a coupla days. I got a job midtown. I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. (Sees Roger) I don't know this one.
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
Mike: Well, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but, we could not let the box of rats ruin our lives.
Ross: There is no way I am letting you drive this car! So why dont you just hand over the keys?
Phoebe: Why, do I have a feeling thats not as happy as it sounds? (Joey points out one going into the chipper to her, as this haunty, demonic music starts to play in the background) No! Nooooo!!! (she winces in horror and hides her face against Joeys shoulder, as she sees the tree spit out from the chipper.)
CAROLINE: I think it's great you guys are doing this.
CHANDLER: It's like this, me, no jokes.
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Rachel: Well, look, it's hardly snowing anymore. I mean you couldn't ask for a more romantic setting. This could be the simple wedding you've always wanted!
Phoebe: Yea. Can I please, please, please talk to one of the best men? This is going to be the last time I promise.
Chandler: Damn! (stands up) The tailpipes not hot enough to light this!
Joey: Hey, best man number two, Joey Tribbiani. Now Im not good with the jokes like Chandler here. Boy...but ahh, I just want to say congratulation to the happy couple. I first met Ross in this coffee house back home...Home...New York City...Where everybody knows my name. Well anyway, I love you guys. (pointing at everyone.) But not as much as I love America. (Looking at Chandler.) Could we please..go home now?
Rachel: Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like Im going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and Im wearing underwear that goes up to about (She snaps the waistband on her underwear that is just slightly below her breasts) there.
Caitlin: (wanting more than anything to get the money and leave this horrible, horrible place) Yeah.
Chandler: I'd just like to say that I'm totally behind this experiment. In fact, I'd very much like to butter your head.
Chandler: (picking up a plastic cup similar to the one he deposited his specimen in) It is not okay that I'm aroused by this now.
Monica: Oh, I'm glad. Listen, I want to apologize about Chandler, though. I just did not see this coming.
Joey: I know, right? (Chandler has really big eyes, and nods) Wh... Wh... Why are we doing this?
Monica: It's some of Richard's hair! (holds it close to Ross) What do I do with this?
Ross: (knew this was coming) There it is... (he comes back)
Nurse: Hey, she just woke up! Shes hungry. Why dont we give this another try?
Phoebe: Ooh, this is it! (Looks in the window.) Oh, thats him! Thats him!
Ross: Im so glad youre going on this trip!
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, this is fun, couples night.
Tag: Then we went to this bar and he hooked us up with all these women!
Joey: Damnit woman were losing precious time! Now do you want this mans blood on your head?
Rachel: Ah, what is this? Well, lets see, we kissed for ten minutes and now we're talking to our friends about it, so I guess this is sixth grade!
Pete: Im fine! Id fight tonight, if theyd let me. (stands up and starts swinging his arms) See this circle Im marking off here? This is my zone of terror.