words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Chandler and Monica enter. Oh, and Joey is wearing a FDNY T-shirt to make this the first nod to the tragedy that Friends have made.]
Rachel: (to the cowgirl) And you are so in style right now. Yknow, I work at Ralph Lauren and the whole fall line has got this like equestrian theme going on. I dont suppose you saw the cover of British Vogue, but
Rachel: (To Monica) Oh, you did this to him?
Joey: Are you kiddin? Phoebe lived on the street. Okay? Plus, shes got this crazy temper. SheShes not standing right behind me is she?
Joey: Will you relax?! What are you taking this so seriously for? It doesnt matter.
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Rachel: Okay, Im just gonna write this out to cash.
Monica: Wait-wait!! Okay, stop it! Stop it! Stop! (Breaks it up.) Now listen, no ones gonna fight in this apartment.
Rachel: Oh Gunther! You brought candy! Thank you so much for picking this up! You are so sweet.
Boy in the Cape: This isnt fair.
Monica: (To Chandler) Look honey, you dont have to do this, okay? Its the strength you have inside that means the most to me. Youre loyal, youre honest, and you have integrity! Thats the kind of strength that I want in the man that I love!
Ursula: I dont know. He said he did all this stuff and then I said I did it too and he got so excited, it was really fun.
Chandler: Nope! I can do this all day.
Ross: Look this is starting to look really bad for me. Okay? Mona, Monas standing right over there. (Looks behind him.) Oh God, shes talking to Joey! You gotta let me win!
Phoebe: Okay I cant let you do this! Shes lying to you.
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Phoebe: Oh, I almost dont want to show this. (Hands it to him.) Just remember Im a minute younger.
Chandler: Okay. 1 2 3Go! (Once again hes at a stalemate, but this time hes in pain.) (Pause) Im gonna kill myself!
Joey: (dejected) Yeah okay. (To Chandler) Even though my tax dollars paid for this car.
RYAN: Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. [He walks to her and kisses her.]
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
Monica: Ah-ah-ah, now you started this, you will finish it.
Chandler: All right, if I do this, can we at least discuss sex on the balcony?
Rachel: Well, why I told him it's haunted. Two can play at this game. (gives Gladys to Monica)
MONICA: You know what this is, this is us getting ready for the prom.
Julio: I can write an epic poem about this lip. (grabs her lower lip)
Monica: Shut up! This place is a hole!
Rachel: Who's this from?
Joey: Wait! Terry! Please! Look, I just lost my other job. Okay? You have no idea how much I need this. Please, help me out, for old times sake.
Joey: Yeah. Whew, it's hot with all of this stuff on. I ah, I better not do any, I don't know, lunges. (starts doing lunges)
Tag: Its just not really who I am. Y'know, Ive always been happier when Why am I telling you this? You dont care about this stuff.
Joey: Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you.
Rachel: I'm sorry. All right, I'll just stay in here this time. (Puts her head back.) Okay.
CHANDLER: Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?
MONICA: No. Um, I know you like this, and I want you to have it. I think it'll look good in our apartment.
Monica: Okay, look at this one. This is my favourite. (Its a little pink and white dress for the girl baby.)
Joey: I know! My grandmothers gonna see this!
Joey: Oh. Okay. Hey, can I ride this outside?
Chandler: Honey, weve been over this. I need to be facing the other way.
Chandler: Little toast here. I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
Rachel: Anyway, theres this big charity ball this weekend and Ralph Lauren bought a table, so I kinda have to go
Monica: (To Phoebe) This is great! Now shes gonna be mad at Rachel! Yknow what? And Im just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
Ross: Mom, yknow what? I-I cant deal with this right now. Im sorry
Monica: Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.
Susan: No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy.
Charlton Heston: (shocked) Youre in this picture?
Chandler: All right, who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash?! I really wanted to take Kathy to this, I cant believe I missed it.
BIG BULLY: Alright, let's take this outside.
Monica: Look umm, of all people, you do not want me to tell this story!
Chandler: Oh, so thats this is gonna work now? Youre just gonna order me around all the time?
Joey: Nice try. (to Margha) See the Netherlands is this make believe place where Peter Pan and Tinker Bell come from.
Ross: Yes. I lived with you guys for a while and then I found this place. (Joey just stares at him) I'm Ross.
MRS GREEN: I mean, this is no offense to your dad, sweetie, but I was thinking there might be more.
Phoebe: (seeing Rachel's clothes) What a neat idea. All your clothes match. I'm gonna do this.
Chandler: Petrie, right, right. Okay, some people gonna be working this weekend.
Phoebe: I know no, no, y'know you dont deserve this, you dont Ross. Youre, youre really, youre so good. (kisses him on the cheek)
Monica: I mean theyre trying to do everything they can to make me quit, and if there were any other job, I would. But this is something Ive been waiting for my whole life.
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Joey: Please dont kick Monica and Rachel out, this wasnt there fault, it was mine.
MONICA: So, I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat rice it kills them.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. What's this? (picks up a book)
MONICA: Thank you. This is my friend Phoebe. She's gonna be helping me tonight.
Rachel: Okay sir, um-mm, let see if I got this right. Ah, so this is a half-caf, double tall, easy hazel nut, non-fat, no foam, with whip, extra hot latte, right? (the guy nods) Okay, great. (she starts to walk away and under her breath) You freak.
LITTLE BULLY: Well then here's the deal, you won't have to so long as never ever show your faces in this coffee house ever again.
Chandler: No, I mean it, this feels really good. Is it a hundred percent cotton?
Ross: Of course I was mad! I told you I-I hate this stuff! Okay? It-its not funny!
Rachel: Oh. Oh. Well there you go. Whew! (Pause) That isthats greatthat is really great-great news. (Pause) Yknow cause the whole not being ready and kinda the financial aspects, all that. Whew. Wow, this is so just the way it was supposed to be. (Starts to cry.) God.
Ross: Uh, everyone, this is Chandler! My roommate and lead singer of our band!
Emily: I tell you, this wedding is not going to happen.
Ross: Oh, this is Monica.
JOEY: You see this, this is a friend.
ROSS: Well, OK, I uh, I have to. I can't deal with this right now. I mean, I've uh, y'know, I've got a cab, I've got a girlfriend, I'm... I'm gonna go get a cat.
Ross: Yeah! Yeah, Emily always wanted to get married in this beautiful place that her parents got married, but its going to be torn down, so I mean, I-I know its crazy, but everything up til now has been so crazy, and I dont know, this just feels right. Yknow?
Rachel: I wouldn't worry about it. She's always coming up with stuff like this, and you know what? She's almost never right.
Phoebe: Nothing! (Picks up and sets the chick down on the floor.) (To the chick.) This is not over!
Benjamin: The selection committee has chosen the three of you as our finalists today. The ultimate decision will be based upon the answers you give to the questions I ask here. I'm gonna start with Dr. Li. Dr. Li, you claim the field is too reliant on the Linnaean taxonomic system. How do you propose to correct this problem?
Chandler: You are an amazing wife. (Monica shrugs) No really you're amazing you were actually gonna do this for me, I mean where do you find the strength and understanding over something like that.
Phoebe: Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this...
Rachel: God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally(opens envelope)not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.
Chandler: I gotta check out this hot girl! (He heads to the window but realizes something, stops, turns and points at Monica.) There she is! (He dances over to her and kisses her.)
Chandler: Hey, listen, I'm sorry about this afternoon, y'know, if I would've known you guys were... I never would've...
Rachel: I uh, I have two tickets to the Knicks game tonight if youre interested, just as a thank you for this week.
Joey: Oh, just er... you know, looking around. But you know what? This house... is great.
[Scene: Their Building, Monica and Rachel are going to apologize to Danny. Rachel knocks on his door, which he opens and he has this really bushy beard and long hair. Picture Paul Bunyan.]
Chandler: Wow! Really?! We get all this rusty crap for free?!
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
Emily: Dont you point your pants at me! (She throws them on the floor.) We have no choice! Anywhere thats half-decent wouldve be booked months ago, Ross dont you understand? This is our wedding Im talking about.
Chandler: That's right! I do! And I'm your man. And I'm going to get us through this situation even if it means you working twice as hard.
Mrs. Waltham: Who is this?
Chandler: (admiring his work) This, this actually is a (Does the same gibberish word from before.)
Rachel: Ross Im so sorry. Okay. I-I will promise I will straighten this out with him tomorrow in person, or via e-mail.
PHOEBE: Monica, how did this happen? I thought you had this all planned out.
Ross: Wow, you ah, you really like all this space stuff, huh?
Mrs. Geller: (To Mr. Geller) This is worse than when he married the lesbian.
Rachel: All right, yknow what? If you dont want to believe me about this, why dont you just come with me to dinner tonight and she will tell you.
BIG BULLY: What's with this guy?
Ross: Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. (There are none.) Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? (He turns it over and reads the answer) Ask again later. Later is not good enough. (He shakes it up again and reads the answer.) Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!
Chandler: This is gonna be soo cool, dude, we never party anymore!
Ross: Okay, Im sorry, this is insane! I-I-Im not addicted to heroin, Im not gay, and there is no problem with my ability to consummate anything! Look, Ill consummate this marriage right here, right now!
Phoebe: Oh this, well Im glad you asked. (She opens the case and removes a knife and an soda can.) Now, dont you hate it when you have to cut a tin can with an ordinary steak knife? (She efficiently cuts it in half.) Ahh! Now, I know what youre thinking
Rachel: Come on Ross! Im miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me.
MONICA: Um, yeah, so uh, uhh, listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before but umm, I, I'm no longer at my job, I, I had to leave it.
Monica: You really think this is okay?
Phoebe: (on machine) "Hi, it's me, I'm coming over now. Hey, what if I'm already there when your playing this message?" (to the guys) Is that too spooky?
Emily: (running in, with Ross) Oh. Oh my God. How can this be happening? What are we going to do?
Joey: Okay, and ah, this one here is a Douglas Fir, now its a little more money, but you get a nicer smell.
Rachel: Oh, Chandler!! All right, this is it! (Grabs the key) You never see Joanna again!
Chandler: No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out. Monica, this is getting ridiculous!
Chandler: Okay, how long is this going to go on.
Rachel: (looks in the window) Ohh, well, this is just perfect!
Joey: This thing welded shut?!
Ross: (British) Come again? Whats-whats this nonsense? (Giggles.) (American.) All right, Im-Im not English. Im from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. Im sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because Im-Im hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression
Monica: Ok, here we go. We need to sort out the tickets as quickly as possible to see if we've won. So does anybody have any ideas how to organize this? (doesn't let them answer) Ok, how about this: we divide them into 6 groups of 40, and the remaining 10 can be read by whoever finishes their pile first.
Phoebe: Yeah, you're right. This is none of our business.
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Rachel: I know... Honey, seriously, I did it all. The luggage that I'm taking is in the bedroom, this is Emma's Paris stuff, these are the boxes that I'm having shipped, and that's the sandwich that I made for the plane...