words in movies
Ross: I have to say Tupolo Honey by Van Morrison.
Phoebe: Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay its like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.
Janice: (entering and singing) Monica and Rachel had syrup, now I can get my man to cheer up. (laughs hysterically) Good morning Joey.
Janice: Oh, I wish. Look, honey, you have that report to finish, and I gotta go see my lawyer.
Chandler: Well, maybe I won't kiss you, and then you'll have to stay.
Monica: It's some of Richard's hair! (holds it close to Ross) What do I do with this?
Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain.)
Ross: You need to get some sleep.
Monica: I need to get some Richard.
Phoebe: Maybe, because you told him not to.
Ross: Nooo, I had to return it to the costume place.
Rachel: You really, really need to get some sleep, honey.
Phoebe: Rach, look! (she holds two buns up to her ears to make her hair look like the Princess Leia 'do.) Oh, hi! Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me. (Ross stands up horrified) There he is.
Chandler: You know, you should really go on this show. All right, listen, I got three tickets to the Rangers tonight. What'd ya' say?
Joey: I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to?
Joey: No, Yeeees. God, how do I say this. (walks into the kitchen, Chandler follows closely, he turns around and gets startled). Oh, hi, you know that girl from the Greek restaurant with the hair (holds his hands up to signify she has big hair)?
Joey: Look, I don't hate Janice, she's-she's just a lot to take, you know.
Joey: Oh, hey. Come on man, don't look at me like that, she used to drive you nuts before too, remember?
Joey: Look, what do you want me to say?
Chandler: I want you to say that you like her!
Joey: I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know. Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna (grimaces and tenses up) pull my arm off just so that I can have something to throw at her.
Chandler: Thanks for trying. (grabs the ticket and starts to leave) Oh, and by the way there is no Count Rushmore!
Rachel: Okay, who are you talking to when you do that?
Ross: Look, that was supposed to be like a private, personal thing between us.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is trying to relax her.]
Phoebe: ( in a soothing voice) Relax every muscle in your body. Listen to the plinky-plunky music. Okay, now close you eyes, and think of a happy place. Okay, tell me your happy place.
Phoebe: Well, okay, fine, use my happy place. Okay, I'm just gonna, I have to ask that you don't move anything.
Monica: All right, I'll try not to.
Monica: Okay, this isn't working. I'm still awake and now I have to pee.
Janice: A little birdie told me something about you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me.
Janice: All right, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, we've got to do something about our little situation here Joey. So, this is my idea: you and me spending some quality time together.
Joey: Does it have to be a whole day?
Janice: Yes, because that's how long it takes to love me.
Monica: (crying) So, I went down to the post office, and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War.
Phoebe: Monica, do you want us to take you home?
Monica: Uh, huh. (to Ross) Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away. (Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe leave)
Ross: So, uh, the other night Rachel and I are in bed talking about fantasies, and I happened to describe a particular Star Wars thing....
Joey: Yeah, yeah. We went to a Mets game, we got Chinese food, and you know, I love this woman. You have got competition buddy.
Janice: I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler. (laughs)
Joey: No man, that's huge! Now, I know I can stand to be around her, which means I get to hang out with you, which is kinda the whole point, anyway.
Mr. Geller: Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is humming the Star Wars theme. Rachel enters, with her hair done up like Princess Leia's, and wearing a belly dancer's outfit, to simulate the gold bikini thing.]
Ross: We, we just decided to uh, to go for it.
Phoebe: (to Mischa) Okay, y'know what, you dont have to do that now. (Mischa translates that to Sergei) No-no-no-no!! Not him, you dont! (Mischa tells Sergei he can proceed and steps away) Well the moments over.
Steve (staring at Rachel): I - I just have to say this; you're really beautiful.
RACH: I didn't know then. And how come you never said anything to me.
Ross: Hey, is Rachel here? Um, I wanted to wish her a happy birthday before I left.
[Cut to Gary and Monica at the counter.]
[Ross gets up, pleased with himself and starts to walk past Joey.]
Joey: We can't, alright? (To the women) We're sorry. You have no idea how sorry, but... We promised we'd find this monkey. If you see him, he's about yea high and answers to the name Marcel, so if we could get some pictures of you, you'd really be helping us out.
Phoebe: Oh no not that guy there. That guy right there. (Pointing to an attractive man sitting at a table behind them.)
Joey: Come on! you... (reaches out to touch the imaginary painting again)
Ross: Nevermind! (Goes back to his mailbox.)
Monica: (to Erica) Hey, thank you. Thank you so much. (they hugs). You are SO going to Heaven!
Erica: Well, it turns out that Erica didn't pay much attention in Sex Ed class, because the thing she did with that prison guy... it'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way.
Joey: Well, you shouldve told me that before, Im not a mind reader. Hey, were out of beer. Im going to Monicas.
Joey: Oh, so we didn't win, but it's fun to play the game, right?
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.]
Phoebe: I didnt know where to put it so I just left it here for now.
Rachel: No! I mean come on! This is a huge deal! (She sits next to him on the couch.) Fine I wantI need more details, who-who initiated the first kiss?
Phoebe: No, look, I told you that I didnt want you to try and sell it, and you just, you big fat did it anyway. God, y'know what, I think five years ago I probably wouldve done anything to play with you but, I can do it by myself. And if I cant trust you then just forget it.
Rachel: Yeah. Yknow umm, uh, umm, about that, umm, Ross I really appreciate your offer to let me move in and everything, but dont you think its gonna be weird?
Phoebe: Well, why did you make like a whole big thing out of y'know, everyone has to hang out in the big apartment?
Frank: Yeah!! Little Leslie is here! We got another one! Oh my God, I can't believe I have two-two children. How scary is that? (He returns to the delivery room.)
Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!
CHANDLER: Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.
Pete: Its okay, its not as bad as it looks, its a precaution. Ah, Im not supposed to move my spine.
[Cut to Monica and Rachel's.]
Joey: Ah! (Points to door) Huh? (Leaves and slams the door)
Ross: All right! (Checking his watch) Yes!! From home to the hospital in under seven minutes! We did it!!
ROSS: I don't know, I don't think mom and dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, how dad used to say, 'God I hope they get together.'
Phoebe: Well, thats not something a girl wants to hear.
Joey: Ooh, hey, I know how we can decide! All right, uh, I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions and then you have to answer real fast. Okay? So uh, clear your mind Clear it right out! Clear it out! Clear!
Ross: What, now youre not even taking to me? (moves over to the coffee table) Look Rachel, I-Im sorry, okay, Im sorry, I was out of my mind. I thought Id lost you, I didnt know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I dont cheat right, I, thats not me, Im not Joey!
Rachel: Oh my god. Oh my god. (She decides to make a break for it.) Excuse me. Move! Move! Emergency! Excuse me! (She tries climbing over a bench and falls down.)
Rachel: Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
(someone knocks on the door. Rachel goes to open it)
MONICA: You know what, maybe I don't need to have children. You know maybe I just think I do because that is what society, and by that I mean my mom, has always convinced me that I...(sees two little girls dancing together) I do, I have to have children, I'm sorry, I just do.
Mr. Geller: All right, enough! I dont want to hear about it anymore! (Under his breath) Good luck, Chandler. (Chandler takes another drink.)
Chandler: Scared me out of ever wanting to live with him.
Caitlin: (getting more desperate to leave) Well okay!
Ross: (he bounds into the lounge room) But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
[Cut to Ross's apartment. Ross and Rachel are there. It's another scene from 1016 TOW Rachel's Going Away Party.]
Joey: Because you waited too long to make your move, and now you're in the friend zone.
(They all run over to Joey and Ross, Chandler grabs the movie and reads the title.)
Monica: What is the matter with you?! Do you want to fall into the trap? Do you want to fall into the trap?!
Monica: Seriously, what is this supposed to mean?
Joey: Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents.
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
Ross: Oh-oh, Rach! I was just messin around! (Shes stunned) Like you did last night when I had to pee?
Cecilia: Right. Hes not angry at the room either. Try it again, he owns it! He owns the room. It is his. He owns, owns, owns, owns the room! He owns it!! (Joey gets a snooty look on his face.) All right, its a little weird, but its getting better. (Joey is pleased.) Oh well, Im gonna miss this woman so much. I dont know what Im going to do! I mean, its been 20 years of my life.
Joey: Well, no, not exactly! All right, look, I, I wasn't trying to save Ross. Okay? My sandwich was next to Ross. All right? I was, I was trying to save my sandwich.
Phoebe: Save it Red! Unless you wanna spend the night in the slammer, you apologize to the tree.
Chandler: If you clear things up with Rachel then Ross never needs to find out, but you have to do it now before he hears about it and kicks your ass!
Phoebe: Oh, I took Larry there to eat but it was all violated. So we shut it down!
Ross: Yeah! Got it! (slams the phone down, and walks back to the bar.)
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, listen, umm, Mom, I hope you know you still mean a lot to me. And youre welcome to come back anytime.
Frank: Yeah, yknow when we found out we were going to have a baby, yknow I figured yknow like I should yknow have like a careerand I love refrigerators!
David: Right-o, right-o... (to Mike) Take good care of her. (and he leaves)
Rachel: Pheebs, I have to ask you
Chandler: And uh, Rachel, glad to have you back.
(She hugs him and he starts to hug her back but notices the look Phoebe is giving him and pushes her away.)
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
(We hear the guys start to attack him, but the guy manages to calm them down and gets them to agree to what he did. Monica throws up her hands in disgust.)
Gary: (To Phoebe) Hi sweetie. (Kisses her.) Hi, can I talk to you for a second?
(And with that, we start a series of flashbacks to Thanksgiving's of years gone by.)
Monica: Danny? You know Rachel? Shes nice. Shes not bad to look at, right?
Joey: (trying to act like hes not the one that stinks.) Whoa! Yeah, what the hell is that? What smells so bad?
[Cut to the balcony with Monica and Tim.]
Monica: Listen, we dont have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.
[Scene: Rosss bedroom, he has fallen asleep waiting for Emily to call. He is awaken by the phone.]
Joey: Wow! Theres a lot I didnt know about vomit. (The duck comes to the door of the bathroom, quacking.) (To the duck) In a minute. (The duck goes back into the bathroom.)
Joey: (sheepishly) I finished my book. (Chandler and Monica slowly retreat back to bed.)
Phoebe: (leaning to him) She said, "Hes obviously still in love with this Rachel girl." (He glares at her.)
Joey: Wouldn't you pay good money to see these identical hands showcased in some type of a uh, entertainment venue?
(He goes to pull up his pants, but can't seem to get them past his knees. He frantically tries to pull them up to no avail. Panic sets in.)
Chandler: Thats not true! I wanted to wear my bathrobe and eat peanut clusters all day. I wanted to start drinking in the morning. Dont say that I dont have goals!
Rachel: I did the first time! Oh. Oh.. <gets up and walks into the kitchen> And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you.
Joey: Well, back to square one.
Chandler: We dont have to come up with this now.
Joey: Sure, what do you want to see?
Chandler: All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, its the only chance to see New York.
RACHEL: OK, listen, I'm sorry about last night and I really want to make it up to you.
Ross: Oh, you-youre-youre one to talk.
Janine: Well I did. I really did. And you guys, Ive got to say, Im sorry if I was a little weird after the last time we went out. I guess I was just nervous or something.
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Joey: Hey! You ready to go?
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
Phoebe: If you wouldve let me finish, it goes on to say that hes probably not gay.
Mark: Um, y'know, before we go ah, theres something I need to say.
Phoebe: oh I dunno I dunno, you know I mean I like him but am I ready to take my grade a loins off the meat market.
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Here he is.
Monica: Because it would totally freak him out and tomorrow's our anniversary. I just don't want anything to spoil that.
Ross: Hey Erica, welcome back to town! (pause) Wow, look how big you've gotten.
Ross: (to Carol) Yeah, listen...
JOEY: So anyway, I'm trying to get my boss's ex-wife to sleep with me. . .
[cut to Gunther retraining Rachel.]
Rachel: Okay, you want me to stop at the ATM?
[Starts to walk down the aisle, unfortunately she doesn't realize that her dress is bunched up in her underwear and her butt is showing.]
Rachel: Nothing! Oh God, we're just so excited that you want to get this apartment!
Phoebe: (on phone from Central Perk) Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I just went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.