words in movies
Ross: I have to say Tupolo Honey by Van Morrison.
Phoebe: Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay its like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.
Janice: (entering and singing) Monica and Rachel had syrup, now I can get my man to cheer up. (laughs hysterically) Good morning Joey.
Janice: Oh, I wish. Look, honey, you have that report to finish, and I gotta go see my lawyer.
Chandler: Well, maybe I won't kiss you, and then you'll have to stay.
Monica: It's some of Richard's hair! (holds it close to Ross) What do I do with this?
Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain.)
Ross: You need to get some sleep.
Monica: I need to get some Richard.
Phoebe: Maybe, because you told him not to.
Ross: Nooo, I had to return it to the costume place.
Rachel: You really, really need to get some sleep, honey.
Phoebe: Rach, look! (she holds two buns up to her ears to make her hair look like the Princess Leia 'do.) Oh, hi! Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me. (Ross stands up horrified) There he is.
Chandler: You know, you should really go on this show. All right, listen, I got three tickets to the Rangers tonight. What'd ya' say?
Joey: I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to?
Joey: No, Yeeees. God, how do I say this. (walks into the kitchen, Chandler follows closely, he turns around and gets startled). Oh, hi, you know that girl from the Greek restaurant with the hair (holds his hands up to signify she has big hair)?
Joey: Look, I don't hate Janice, she's-she's just a lot to take, you know.
Joey: Oh, hey. Come on man, don't look at me like that, she used to drive you nuts before too, remember?
Joey: Look, what do you want me to say?
Chandler: I want you to say that you like her!
Joey: I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know. Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna (grimaces and tenses up) pull my arm off just so that I can have something to throw at her.
Chandler: Thanks for trying. (grabs the ticket and starts to leave) Oh, and by the way there is no Count Rushmore!
Rachel: Okay, who are you talking to when you do that?
Ross: Look, that was supposed to be like a private, personal thing between us.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is trying to relax her.]
Phoebe: ( in a soothing voice) Relax every muscle in your body. Listen to the plinky-plunky music. Okay, now close you eyes, and think of a happy place. Okay, tell me your happy place.
Phoebe: Well, okay, fine, use my happy place. Okay, I'm just gonna, I have to ask that you don't move anything.
Monica: All right, I'll try not to.
Monica: Okay, this isn't working. I'm still awake and now I have to pee.
Janice: A little birdie told me something about you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me.
Janice: All right, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, we've got to do something about our little situation here Joey. So, this is my idea: you and me spending some quality time together.
Joey: Does it have to be a whole day?
Janice: Yes, because that's how long it takes to love me.
Monica: (crying) So, I went down to the post office, and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War.
Phoebe: Monica, do you want us to take you home?
Monica: Uh, huh. (to Ross) Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away. (Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe leave)
Ross: So, uh, the other night Rachel and I are in bed talking about fantasies, and I happened to describe a particular Star Wars thing....
Joey: Yeah, yeah. We went to a Mets game, we got Chinese food, and you know, I love this woman. You have got competition buddy.
Janice: I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler. (laughs)
Joey: No man, that's huge! Now, I know I can stand to be around her, which means I get to hang out with you, which is kinda the whole point, anyway.
Mr. Geller: Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is humming the Star Wars theme. Rachel enters, with her hair done up like Princess Leia's, and wearing a belly dancer's outfit, to simulate the gold bikini thing.]
Rachel: Thanks for lunch, Chandler. Y'know, you didnt have to walk me all the way back up here.
Phoebe: Before I start, I just wanna say that umm, I have a cold, so if I sneeze in the middle of song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People. (Starts to sing) Smelly cat, smelly cat. What are they feeding you? (Stops singing) This chick sounds good. (Singing) Smelly cat, smelly--(stops singing) Hey Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.
Phoebe: Im a lady Monica, I dont kiss and tell. But this hickey speaks for itself. (She starts to open up her blouse.)
Rachel: Oh Im sorry mummys so sorry go back to sleep go back to sleep. Shh. Shhh! Go back to sleep
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Chandler: I never want to leave you again!
PHOEBE: We just have to really, really, really, not let stuff like money get--is that a hickey?
CHANDLER: It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert...Look talk to Monica, she's on the food committee.
(They start trying to trade babies while holding one each. They have no idea how to do it, so they just shift the babies around in their arms. They give up pretty quickly.)
Monica: On three, 1 2 3! (Rachel turns her head on three to avoid the drops.) Now my pillow's all wet! (She was trying to fool Rachel and squeezed the eyedropper.)
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
Gunther: That guy (points) has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! Hes complained about you three times! (He hands the coffee cup to Joey, assuming that Joey will deliver it and walks away.)
Rachel: Oh. Oh. Well there you go. Whew! (Pause) That isthats greatthat is really great-great news. (Pause) Yknow cause the whole not being ready and kinda the financial aspects, all that. Whew. Wow, this is so just the way it was supposed to be. (Starts to cry.) God.
Monica: Because I know that you think the lottery is "boohaki" but we're all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.
Joey: Wait up! (They both run to the bathroom.)
Frank Sr.: Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more!
Ross: (to the second girl) That was very nice Ashley.
Rachel: Wait a minute, youre only giving free stuff away to the pretty girls?
Monica: And what if I was still fat? (To Chandler) Well, you wouldnt be dating me, thats for sure.
Monica: Score!! 7 to nothing!
Phoebe: Oh, my new Mom, who-whos a big, fat abandoner! (starts to go upstairs)
(Rachel opens the curtains and sees Charlie coming out from the dressing room just next to theirs)
Another Scientist: And I need to flip the light switch on and off 17 times before I leave a room or my family will die.
Emily: I tell you, this wedding is not going to happen.
Chandler: Panicking! And using the Internet to try to prove that Im related to Monica. How is she?
Phoebe: What?! What do you mean youre going to London?
Chandler: Oh, dont worry about it I mean you probably were tired, you had a lot of champagne, it happens to everybody.
Chandler: Would you like me to write her a little poem as well?
Chandler: Shh! (To the guy behind the counter) Nice to see you again. (They tries to walk past him.)
Rachel: (to the woman) Alimony. (Runs outside.)
(They start to kiss, then Rick stops suddenly.)
Elizabeth: Yeah, Ive been coming here since I was a kid. This used to be my Grandmas.
ROSS: Well, OK, I uh, I have to. I can't deal with this right now. I mean, I've uh, y'know, I've got a cab, I've got a girlfriend, I'm... I'm gonna go get a cat.
Chandler: She gets crazy! This scar (points to his forehead) is from Pictionary!
Mr. Geller: All-right fine, but I just want to say, Im not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it werent for us, cheap little man. (Emilys stepmum looks shocked. Jack and Judy get up and leave.)
Rachel: Okay sir, um-mm, let see if I got this right. Ah, so this is a half-caf, double tall, easy hazel nut, non-fat, no foam, with whip, extra hot latte, right? (the guy nods) Okay, great. (she starts to walk away and under her breath) You freak.
Mrs. Waltham: Lovely to meet you.
Rachel: Excuse me, Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent doctor.
Rachel: Whoa, that Diet Coke just went straight to my head! Woo!
ROSS: Yeah, that way I figure, ya know, we'll be far enough away from our parents that we don't have to see them all the time but close enough that they can come over and babysit whenever we want. And yes, I know, the taxes are a little higher than, let's say, Nassau county but the school system's supposedly great.
Chandler: Du-du-I wrote it, I wrote it on the board! I wrote it on the board, then I went all over New York City looking for ya! I went to Rosss! I went to the coffeehouse! I went to any place that they made sandwiches!
Ross: I-I had to show Chandler something?
Ross: Now, if you wanna try to make some of it back, Id be glad to play you for it. But I should warn you, I am very good at Cups.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is next to the bay window again, Mark has left.]
Rachel: Bye. (She gets up to leave but is stopped by Joey)
Monica: Rachel, its going to happen. Chandler is gonna move in here.
[Scene: Outside Chandlers Office, Chandler is just about to go into his office when Bob calls for him from behind.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is tying a ribbon to a vase.]
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Monica: He had to go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard.
Phoebe: (Trying to get up.) Wait!! Where are you going?! What are you doing?! No!! Wait!! (Not able to get up.) God!! Why am I always pregnant when she does that?!
Rachel: Oh, please!Honey, just the fact that you want me here to support you, I'm...OH MY GOD!Is that Christian Sanders?He's so gorgeous!
Rachel: Well, hon-ey. I'm just trying to look nice for your big night.
Joey: Yeah! Well, I think well see if they actually let you play. Huh? I mean they tell you anything you want to hear like-like, "You look 19," and then they just take it away like-like, "No you dont."
Kathy: (going over to the box) Chandler?
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey, heres a thought.
Chandler: (sarcastically) Yes were all in here and we would love for you to join us!
[cut back to Chandler and Joeys.]
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.
JOEY: Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processor guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does.
Chandler: See? Now, thats why only the little fake men are supposed to do all the kicking.
Ross: Im getting married, to..day!!
Rachel: I uh, I have two tickets to the Knicks game tonight if youre interested, just as a thank you for this week.
Ross: No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight.
Ross: Exactly. So you didnt, didnt mention anything to Issac right?
Molly: No I'm here to take Emma to your mother's, remember?
Ross: (To Joey) Hey, you wanna get something to eat or uh, do you wanna see how long we can throw this ball back and forth? Huh?
Erica: Thank you. It's really nice to meet you guys, I can't believe I'm here!
Rachel: But he has to know how I feel!
Rachel: No! No! Seriously, whats wrong with the dog?! Wait a minute, what are you doing home so early? What happened to your date?
(I think one of the grips walk up to Joey, mainly because there's a credit for The Grip. What the heck is a grip anyway?!)
Ross: No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that (point to the kid that kicked him) kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice.
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Yknow, its been a while since weve screamed something. Maybe we should.
Joey: I like that! (To Phoebe) Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! (He swiftly rips open the front of Phoebe's dress revealing her bra.)
Monica: Well, he did manage to keep his identity secret for a long time.
Monica: Ok, so that's what we're doing. You know, when I'm in the coffee house bopping along to one of your songs, I'm wearing ear plugs.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, no more offers. You cant offer anything to us!
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
SUSIE: Alright, turn around. Time to see you from behind.
(Cut to Joey watching TV in the corner. He makes an extravagant gesture of disappointment.)
Sister 1: (to Chandler) What cha doing?
MRS GREEN: I mean, this is no offense to your dad, sweetie, but I was thinking there might be more.
Chandler: So, the fact that I am a doctor, and my wife’s a reverend, that’s important to you?
Message: (Phoebe's voice) "Hello. Th-this is the pigeon from the balcony calling to apologise" (they all turns to look at Phoebe) "I sh.. I shouldn't have knocked the tickets out of the pretty lady's hand. It-it was all my fault. Not hers. Bye. Coo."
Phoebe: Hey Ross! Doesnt Ben go to the Smithfield Day School?
Joey: Hey Pheebs! (He sits down next to her.)
JOEY: Woah. Why do you get to keep the table?
Alice: Oh no, but when it comes to love, what does age matter?
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is entering carrying two glasses of wine. She gives one to Phoebe, keeps one, and completely ignores Monica.]
Kathy: I'm sorry, it's just this Ernie Cofax thing on in a few minutes I wanted to watch.
Ross: We're shushing... because... we're trying to hear something. Listen. (everyone is silent) Don't you hear that?
MONICA: I meant, why don't you take Richard to the game? What?
[Scene: the 5th Precinct, Gary's precinct, Chandler has come to talk to him about commitment. And as he's walking through the door he notices a couple of "Ladies of the night" sitting there. (If you know what I mean.)]
Monica: (interrupting) Know when to stop.
(They grab the luggage and drag it into Joey and Rachels forcing Monica and Chandler to follow.)
Michelle: No, actually, see I had to pee, �cause I can�t use public bathrooms because the doodie parasites.
Joey: How many times do I have to tell you! Ya, turn and sliiiide! Y'know, turn and slide.
Chandler: So, what does the other guy do? Does he go to college too?
Phoebe: Oh God, Im so glad you guys are happy, I was so afraid you were going to be all freaked.