words in movies
[Scene: Rosss Wedding, continued from last season, the Minister is about to marry Ross and Emily.]
Minister: Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. (Time lapse) Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross...
Rachel: (To the woman sitting in front of her) He-he said Rachel, right? Do you think I should go up there?
Minister: Ross and Emily have made their declarations and it gives me great pleasure to declare them husband and wife.
(He goes to kiss her, but she isnt very receptive of the kiss. She keeps avoiding him, until Ross finally gets to kiss her on her cheek.)
Mrs. Geller: (To Mr. Geller) This is worse than when he married the lesbian.
(The band starts to play, and the recessional starts. Ross tries to take Emilys hand, but she snatches it away from him.)
(Ross and Emily make it to the lobby.)
Emily: (Yelling from inside the bathroom) Youve spoiled everything! Its like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?!
Joey: (To the gang) Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still get cake right?
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
Mr. Geller: Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross?
Ross: Thats true, thanks dad. (To All) People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! (He starts to dance but stops when no one else joins him.)
Phoebe: Yeah, Ive discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh womens names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own.
(Cut to Chandler and Monica at the buffet table.)
Chandler: Oh wow, I hope you dont take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans to meet up tonight and, ugh, Im just kinda worried about what it might do to our friendship.
(He throws down his plate and runs to the wine cellar, Monica is about to follow him but is intercepted by Rachel.)
Monica: Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box! (Tries to leave, but is stopped by Rachel.)
Rachel: Whoa, wait, listen, I think Im just gonna talk to Ross about what he think it meant.
(Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller.)
Mr. Geller: Oh yeah, well who serves steak when theres no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this?
(Cut to Monica and Chandler, Monica is running up to him.)
Monica: Where were you? We were supposed to meet in the wine cellar?
(Joey walks up to them.)
(Cut to Rachel and Ross.)
Rachel: (laughs) Yknow when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.
(They all start laughing, and quickly stop when they realize what she just said and run over to the bathroom.)
Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? Im coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)
[Scene: London Marriott, Monica and Chandler are walking to her room.]
(She laughs and opens the door to reveal Rachel sitting on the bed.)
Rachel: Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! (They both just stare at her.) Okay, dont believe me, I know Im rightdo you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?
Chandler: Yes, we do. But, we have to change first.
Monica: Yes, I want to change. And why-why dont you go down and get us a table?
Rachel: Hello? Oh, Pheebs! (To them) Its Phoebe!
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, yknow what, lets look at this objectively all right? Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade he sees me in a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then
Chandler: (To Monica) Hey, listen, why dont we go change in my room?
(Cut to Chandlers room, he opens the door slowly to see if Joey is there and after seeing that he isnt, ushers Monica into the room, closes the door, and the security bar.)
(They both start to frantically rip each others clothes off, but are interrupted when Joey tries to open the door.)
Chandler: Well, I suppose Id have to say you!! But, what if were watching a movie in here?
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, Chandler and Monica are still looking for a place to do the deed.]
(They both run to rip the covers off the bed, but are interrupted by Ross.)
Ross: No! For all I know, shes trying to find me but couldnt because I kept moving around. No, from now on, Im staying in one place. (He sits down on the bed.) Right here.
Ross: Thanks guys! (They both sit down on either side of him.) I really appreciate this, yknow, but you dont have to rub my butt.
Chandler: We have to leave for New York in an hour.
(They both try to slowly extricate themselves from Ross, but theres a knock on the door that awakens him.)
Ross: Em-Emily? (Looking around for her.) Em-Emily? (He runs to the door.) Emily! (He opens the door to reveal the Walthams standing outside.)
Mr. Waltham: Shes in hiding. Shes utterly humiliated. She doesnt want to see you ever again.
Ross: Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that Im gonna be at that airport and I hope that shell be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachels name, but it didnt mean anything, Okay? Shes-shes just a friend and thats all! (Rachel sits down, depressed.) Thats all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I cant imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that youll tell her that.
Mr. Waltham: All right, Ill tell her. (To his wife) Come on bugger face!
Monica: Yknow, maybe its best that we never got to do it again.
Monica: Im gonna go to the bathroom, maybe Ill see you there in a bit?
(Monica gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is startled to see Joey sitting in Monicas seat.)
Chandler: Okay man. (Chandler starts to get up.)
Phoebe: (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You had sex! (Theyre shocked.)
Joey: Why would you need to say hi to them, youve been feeding them for four days?
(She grabs her bag and leaves, Joey moves a little quicker to his apartment, leaving Monica and Chandler alone.)
Monica: Right. Umm, listen since were-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Rosss mother
Monica: Well, an-anyway, I justthat night meant a lot to me, I guess Im just trying to say thanks.
Chandler: Oh. Yknow, that night meant a lot to me too, and it wasnt because I was in a bad place or anything, it just meant a lot to me cause, youre really hot! Is that okay?
(After he closes the door, Monica starts to follow him, but thinks better of it and stops.)
[Scene: An airport in London, Ross is waiting for Emily to show up to go on their honeymoon and sees Rachel walking past.]
Rachel: So umm, what time are you supposed to leave?
Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) This is the last call for Flight 1066 to Athens. The last call.
Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) All ticketed passengers for Flight 1066 to Athens should now be on board.
Ross: Come on! (They go to the jetway, Ross hands the tickets to the gate agent.) Here.
Ross: You tell them to wait!
Ross: Oh no-no-no! Oh-no! (Emily starts to run out and Ross chases her.) No! No! Emily!
[Scene: Flight 1066 to Athens, Rachel is ordering a drink for Ross and herself.]
Rachel: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, (points to Rosss seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey, look at that, the airports moving. (Realizes that thats not how it works.) Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that were moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.
Chandler: Somebody wanna help me, tryin' to rip out my heart. (they pull her hand off of him) Uh, that's great. (looking around) Anybody seen a nipple?
Phoebe: Aww, and good luck to you too! (To Monica and Rachel) What a nice lady!
[Cut to the hallway, Joey is listening to Chandler and his mom's conversation through the door as Ross walks up.]
Monica: I sure do! (She runs over to a drawer, opens it, and grabs a lollipop.) (To Rachel) And you don't get one!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Before you start handing out wedding rings and planning bachelor parties, dont you have to decide who your best man is gonna be?
[Cut to outside the window, with Ross reacting with disbelief. The shot pans back until we see Marcel sitting on the window ledge.]
Rachel: No. I was just going to do this myself. (Joey makes a sarcastic laugh.)
CHANDLER: Don't you have to be Claymation to say stuff like that?
[Scene: Rachels Office, shes slinking out to where Tag works and checks to make sure no one is coming.]
Joey: All right relax, look I'll pay you with the money from the acting job I am definitely gonna get thanks to you.
Chandler: What? No, I want to watch this. (He turns on the television and the screen is completely covered in snow). Did your cable go out?
Monica:: Is this not the good part? Do you want me to fast forward to something a little toothier.
Ross: All right, look, look, youve got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
Elizabeth: Well, I really wanted to meet you guys, but I have to run. Ill see you later?
Joey: Hey, hang up! You get food poisoning just talkin to that place.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the game is coming to a close.]
Joey: Yeah! Because this commercial belongs to me and Mitch!
Monica: (getting up) All right, Im gonna go to work. Does anybody have a problem with that?
(one of the groomsmen gives the rings to Joey)
The Fireman: Please reattach this, its against the law to disconnect them.
Rachel: Oh come on Ross!! (She tries to switch places with him and goes under his leg.)
Joey: Well whats fun about that? You expect me to be the host of a boring game thats just people standing around answering questions?
Aurora: Okay. Oh no, I have to.
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I cant do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)
Rachel: This is just occurring to you?
Chandler: I'm not going to Vermont with this Monica!
Dr. Franzblau: It is nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau. I'm your roommate's... brother's... ex-wife's obstetrician.
Rachel: Okay, well then how about a handshake? (She goes to shake his hand but misses and touches his groin.) Oh God I'm sorry! Oh God, I'm sorry! I did not mean to touch thatI mean you there. There. Uhh, okay, so thank-thank you, I'm going to leave now thank you very much uh-huh, thank you soHey! I'll see you Monday! (Exits.)
[Scene: The Roof, Rachel is talking to a guy who hands her a tissue with something written on it]
MR. GELLER: Well, c'mon. Don't ya want to find out?
Phoebe Sr: Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. I just-I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Yknow
Gunther: (cleaning up the table) (to Robert) Hey buddy, this is a family place, put the mouse back in the house.
Rachel: Oh, yknow I'm not that much of a sweet tooth. I(Chandler puts a forkful of the cheesecake in her mouth.)Wow. My God, so creamy. Oh my God, this is the best cheesecake I have ever had. Where did you get this? (She reaches over to look at the label on the box.)
Ross: I can't believe I'm about to meet Benjamin Hobart. I've always thought of him as one of the people I'd invite to my fantasy dinner party. Do you think there's any chance he'll bring Christie Brinkley or C3PO?
Dr. Long: Rachel youre gonna have to push even harder, nothings happening!
(He sinks to the sofa, saddened by Ursula's ultimatum, while Phoebe follows, touched by Joey's good heart.)
Joey: So, did you uh, find anyone to marry you guys yet?
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
Joey: Thats right! Cause Im a Tribbiani! (To Rachel) And this is what we do! I mean we may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we dont read a lot or run very fast, but damnit! We can eat!
Phoebe: No-no, I know that, but I just have to make enough money for the second part of my plan.
BIG BULLY: This couch belongs to us.
Phoebe: (looks) Oh my God, youre right! I am too late; theyre sitting on the couch and talking! (To Patrick) Come on! (They go over to the couch.) Rachel?
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
Max: Yoko. (To David) I've decided to go to Minsk without you.
Ross: Oh. (Starts to get his money)
Precious: Oh, my God, maybe you're right. Maybe I don't need him. I deserve to be treated with respect.
Monica: I know, but you have to open it today! (Hands it too him.)
Monica: (to Steve) This is Rachel.
Phoebe: Will he know what this is in reference to? (Listens) And he has your number? (Listens) All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye bye.
Joey: Yeah! And I like to hang out in a quiet place where I can talk to my friends.
Rachel: Okay. Um ButOkay, yes Ross and I used to date. And yes we are gonna have a baby. But we are definitely not getting back together.
(They all laugh and Joey joins them, not to be left out. When the laughing dies down, he has a depressed look on his face.)
CHANDLER: Hey, just because this woman thinks she can actually see Joey through the magical box in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person. I mean, does she not deserve happiness, does she not deserve love? What're you lookin' at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac.
Dr. Drake Remoray: Thats right Wesley! I just stopped by to say that, youre not a real doctor! And that womans brain, is fine!
Joey: Always nice to meet a fan!
JOEY: Hey no, seriously, I don't need you to pick me... [Fun Bobby picks Joey up off the ground, bounces him. Joey laughs.] Alright! It still works.
Parker: And Im with you! What a great time to be alive! Look at this plate-bouncy thing. (Bounces the plates) What an inspired solution to mans plate dispensing problems.
Rachel: All right, I promise. Ill fix this. I swear. Ill-Ill-Ill-Ill talk to her.
Phoebe: That is correct! Yes, youre supposed to take all of that stuff and put it in a little box in your mind and then lock it up tight.
Monica: Nice to meet you! My God youre great!
Monica: Wait-wait, go back to that sibling thing.
Monica: Wait a minute, you stayed home all day and played Ms. Pac-Man while I went off to work like some kind of chump?!
Phoebe: Well okay but I have two tickets to the ballroom dance finals. (She holds up the tickets that Kyle gave her.)
Rachel: Oh honey, come on, Im sorry, I didnt.... I dont mind paying my dues, y'know, its just how much am I gonna learn about fashion by walking Mira, the arthritic seamstress, to the bathroom.
JOEY: No, no, no.� When you get home tomorrow night, you and I are going to be at the Wizzards-Knicks game . . .� courtside!
Rachel: It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee?
Rachel: Yeah I dont think dressing provocatively is going to help me here! Oh my god just please take her.
Phoebe: You dont have to be back for a half-hour!
Chandler: Well, now, I actually have to get to work.
Paul: Good. Good. Not that we dont want you to stay, obviously youre welcomeHow much more homework do you have?
Ross: and then, we couldve gone from the ceremony to the reception with you in the sidecar!
Rachel: (offers her arm to Mindy and she sniffs) Smell familiar?
Phoebe: (sarcastic) Ah, yeah, he's so adorable, God, he's just so much fun, Joey is the best, I'm glad you're having so much fun here. (She turns around, about to leave)
Chandler: (to Kathy) Uhh, that was Joey. Hes running a little late, he says hes sorry.
Doctor Connelly: I'm sorry there wasn't better news from your test last week but I wanted to talk to you about your options.
Monica: My God, I cant believe this! I mean I knew that mom and dad were invited, but I thought that was it! I mean from the ages 7 to 9 Frannie and I were inseparable!
Monica: Yeah. Umm, Chandler can I talk to you outside for a second?
Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.
[Cut to the casino, a very drunk and doodled on Rachel is walking arm in arm with an equally drunk and doodled on Ross are walking through the casino and greeting people on their way through. Ross has some whiskers and his nose colored in, along with his name on his forehead.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is coaching Chandler on how to break up with Janice.]
Rachel: Ughhhh!! Forget it! (Sits down heavily on the bed.) This is, this is not how this is supposed to happen.
(Camera pans back to group in living room)
Rachel: Hello! (Listens) Oh yeah! Hey! Hold on a second she's right here! (To Phoebe) It's Chandler.
Ross: Sure. (He opens the door to Joey. Needless to say, Joey's stunned.) Joey
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
RACH: I don't know. Who would I have to sleep with?
JOEY: I don't need to think about it. I was Dr. Drake Remoray. That was huge. Big things are gonna happen, you'll see. Ross, you still there?
Phoebe: Just one? I drive you all the way down here, and I don't get to see how it works out?
MONICA: Ok, um so, I still have to invite Dillon and Emma and Shannon Cooper.
Phoebe: Oh no! No! I know how to handle it.
Ross: Okay. (He leans in to kiss her again, but she leans back preventing him from making contact.) Wow, its-its 5:30 in the morning. (Rachel laughs) So, Id better get cracking on this baby.
Monica: (entering) Did I miss it? (Phoebe nods no.) Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if its positive, were gonna
Joey: Ohh!! (Runs to his room.)
(they continue to play ping pong and then Mike scores, winning the game)
Ross: You have to tell her! You have to tell her! It's your moral obligation, as a friend, as a woman, I think it's a feminist issue! Guys? Guys? (waiting for guys to chime in)
(Rachel goes to her room.)
Joey: Oh, it's okay. You don't have to be so mean about it.
MINISTER: You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
(Chandler and Monica walk over to the kitchen-counter and leave their keys. Then the other four pick out their keys and leave them as well.)
Phoebe: Yeah, well, y'know maybe you just need to try a little harder!