words in movies
Ross: Guys? There's a somebody I'd like you to meet.
(A monkey jumps on to his shoulder.)
Ross: Nah, I dunno... I think you reach a certain age, having a roommate is kinda pathe- (Realises) ....sorry, that's, that's 'pathet', which is Sanskrit for 'really cool way to live'.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing. Joey is not there.]
Chandler: Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I'm talking loud!
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
I made a man with eyes of coal And a smile so bewitchin', How was I supposed to know That my mom was dead in the kitchen? (shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...
(Cut to later. Everyone is totally depressed by now.)
Excuse me, excuse me! Yeah, noisy boys! (They stop talking and look up) Is it something that you would like to share with the entire group?
Phoebe: Well, c'mon, if it's important enough to discuss while I'm playing, then I assume it's important enough for everyone else to hear!
Chandler: (Quietly, to the others) That guy's going home with a note!
David: Noth- I was- I was just saying to my-
David: (Stands up and speaks more loudly) Sorry, I wa- I was just saying to my friend that I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen in my- in my life. And then he said that- you said you thought
Phoebe: Okay, we're gonna take a short break. (Goes over to their table)
Phoebe: Well, he's kinda like the guy I went to see that with. Except, except he-he's smarter, and gentler, and sweeter... I just- I just wanna be with him all the time. Day and night, and night and day... and special occasions...
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, I see where this is going, you're gonna ask him to New Year's, aren't you. You're gonna break the pact. She's gonna break the pact.
(He removes the coat to reveal an elf costume)
Monica: Do you always have to bring him here?
Ross: I didn't wanna leave him alone. Alright? We- we had our first fight this morning. I think it has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean, and he- he threw some faeces...
Ross: Oh, that'd be great! Okay, but if you do, make sure it seems like you're there to see him, okay, and you're not like doing it as a favour to me.
Chandler: Okay, but if he asks, I'm not going to lie.
[Scene: Max and David's lab, David is explaining something to Phoebe with the aid of a whiteboard.]
David: ...But, you can't actually test this theory, because today's particle accelerators are nowhere near powerful enough to simulate these conditions.
David: Uh, that's definitely a, uh, valid question. And, uh, the answer would be (Writes YES on the board) yes. Yes I was. But, see, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss that happened at this phenomenal moment, because, well, 'cause it's you.
David: Right. But, see, the longer I waited, the more phenomenal the kiss had to be, and now we've reached a place where it's just gotta be one of those things where I just like... sweep everything off the table and throw you down on it. And, uh, I'm not really a, uh, sweeping sorta fella.
David: Okay, okay, okay. (Gets ready to sweep, and then picks up a laptop computer) Y'know what, this was just really expensive. (Puts it down elsewhere. Then picks up a microscope) And I'll take- this was a gift. (Moves it)
David: Okay, what the hell, what the hell. (Sweeps the remaining papers off the desk and grabs Phoebe) You want me to actually throw you or you-you wanna just hop?
Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?
Chandler: I happen to know a Fun Bob.
Joey: Yeah, and I met this really hot single mom at the store. What's an elf to do?
Max: Well, if you see him, tell him to pack his bags. We are going to Minsk.
Max: Tell her, David. 'I don't wanna go to Minsk and work with Lifson and Yamaguchi and Flench, on nonononononono. I wanna stay here and make out with my girlfriend!!' (Storms out)
Ross: Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened...
(The door opens. Rachel is standing there. Her coat is muddy and torn, her hair is dishevelled and her face is bruised. Everyone turns to look)
Rachel: No. Okay. I was at the airport, getting into a cab, when this woman- this blonde planet with a pocketbook- starts yelling at me. Something about how it was her cab first. And then the next thing I know she just starts- starts pulling me out by my hair! So I'm blowing my attack whistle thingy and three more cabs show up, and as I'm going to get into a cab she tackles me. And I hit my head on the kerb and cut my lip on my whistle...oh...everybody having fun at the party? (To Monica) Are people eating my dip?
Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.
Fun Bobby: It's gonna be an open casket, y'know, so at least I'll- I get to see him again.
Chandler: Alright, Janice, that's it! Janice... Janice... Hey, Janice, when I invited you to this party I didn't necessarily think that it meant that we-
Janice: Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. (She runs off)
Max: Yoko. (To David) I've decided to go to Minsk without you.
Phoebe: You're going to Minsk.
David: No, I'm... not going to Minsk.
Phoebe: Oh, you are so going to Minsk. You belong in Minsk. You can't stay here just 'cause of me.
David: Yes I can. Because if I go it means I have to break up with you, and I can't break up with you.
Phoebe: Oh yes, yes, yes you can. Just say, um, 'Phoebe, my work is my life and that's what I have to do right now'. And I say 'your work?! Your work?! How can you say that?!'. And then you say, um, 'it's tearing me apart, but I have no choice. Can't you understand that?'. And I say (Hits him) 'no! No! I can't understand that!'.
Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.
Chandler: (To a woman who he has clearly just met) And then the peacock bit me. (Laughs) Please kiss me at midnight. (She leaves)
Chandler: Ooh. Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but she's in Monica's bedroom, getting it on with Max, that scientist geek. Ooh, look at that, I did know how to tell you.
Ross: (Watching Marcel and talking to Rachel) I wanted this to work so much. I mean I'm still in there, changing his diapers, pickin' his fleas... but he's just phoning it in. Just so hard to accept the fact that something you love so much doesn't love you back.
Joey: Ohh!! (Runs to his room.)
(they continue to play ping pong and then Mike scores, winning the game)
Ross: You have to tell her! You have to tell her! It's your moral obligation, as a friend, as a woman, I think it's a feminist issue! Guys? Guys? (waiting for guys to chime in)
(Rachel goes to her room.)
Joey: Oh, it's okay. You don't have to be so mean about it.
MINISTER: You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
(Chandler and Monica walk over to the kitchen-counter and leave their keys. Then the other four pick out their keys and leave them as well.)
Phoebe: Yeah, well, y'know maybe you just need to try a little harder!
Monica: Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel.
Chandler: Because you kept talking to him while he was trying to go to the bathroom?!
Monica: Well, my breasts are going to get bigger weather you like it or not! And you know what? It's not just my breasts. My ass is going to get bigger too.
Joey: But I counted, you're not supposed to live here! Oh man! (Runs away.)
CHANDLER: C'mon, there's nothin' to see, it's just a tiny bump, it's totally useless.
Monica: Yeah that, plus his mom used to put sour cream on everything!
Phoebe: No! Joey, youre going to be great!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are getting ready to go on their honeymoon. Monica is entering from the bedroom.]
Joey: Yeah well, maybe you should go back! Okay? Rachel moves in, and before you know it youre right where you dont want to be! Back together!
Monica: All right, I know youre hurting, and-and I want to be supportive, but dont say that again.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is dusting. She comes to the table, lifts all the magazines and wipes under them, then just puts them down again. Monica bursts in, obviously drunk.]
Rachel: Yeah. Just to be sure I'm gonna call Dr. Wiener.
Rachel: (now looking up at the ceiling) That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say.
Rachel: So forcing her to marry Bobby is gonna make that happen?
Ross: Please, help me! I have a date tonight. It has to go well okayIm scared for my health!
Phoebe: All right, stop it. Now youre just doing it to freak me out.
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom used to put her head in the oven. Well, actually, she only did it the one time. But it was pretty weird.
Ross: No, we can go to Williamsburg.
Mark: Hey, what do you want to drink?
(As the camera passes by, they start to dance really rigid, but the camera is facing the other way.)
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom) Okay. Heres a question you never have to ask. My dad just called and wanted to know if he could borrow one of your pearl necklaces.
Monica: Ohhh, I knew you loved her! Then you need to go to the airport and tell her. Youre probably just gonna catch her just as shes about to go to the gate. Youre gonna call out her name and say, "I love you!" And shes gonna say, "I love you, too!" And you guys are going to have the most amazing kiss, everyone at the gate will applaud.
Phoebe: All right, dont freak out! Okay? I-I will help you. How long before you have to leave?
Joey: (to Lauren) In a minute!!
Rachel: Yeahbut come onListen, Im sorry I dont want to make you uncomfortable, but I told Phoebe that it happened and she doesnt believe me.
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
Chandler: Damn! (stands up) The tailpipes not hot enough to light this!
Ross: OK, I need to lie down.
Gene: "I'd like to go for a walk", uhm "scratch my belly".
Celia: Talk to me.
Ross: (rushing to explain) Funny story!
Ross: Em-Emily? (Looking around for her.) Em-Emily? (He runs to the door.) Emily! (He opens the door to reveal the Walthams standing outside.)
Monica: (still talking to the woman) All right, Ill do it just this once! But you cant tell anybody!
Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.
Chandler: (To Rachel) Did you like me when we first met?
Ross: You-you-you-you (trying to remain in control) threw my sandwich away!
Ross: Show them to me!
Joey: Look, Rachel, we don't have to do this.
Laura: (laughing nervously) I'm sorry that you had to see that. I'm so embarrassed...
Rachel: (to Ross): Loser?
Mr. Thompson: Your generous contribution brings us a big step closer to building the youth center.
Rachel: (To Monica) Monica, will-will you marry me?
MONICA: Do you want me to cry? Is that what you want? Do you wanna see me cry?
Chandler: And thank you for explaining to us what escrow means... I've already forgotten what you said, but thank you.
Guru Saj: Oh, I think I see the problem. And Im afraid were gonna have to use a much stronger tool. (Ross gives him a What? look) Love.
Monica: Yknow what? I am really tired of your bellyaching! Okay, I-I worked really hard at making this a nice place for us to live!
Ross: (to Gary) He told you everything! I mean you totally cracked him!
Chandler: It's "Ride of the Valkyries" from "Apocalypse Now"... See, here's the thing: The corn rose were really a solution to your frizzy hair problem. And now that we're home, we don't have that problem anymore, so if you think about it... I hate them!
Chandler: (to Ross): I thought we had them!
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
David: Umm, anyway Do you want to have dinner tonight?
Ross: How great is this? You are already comfortable enough to look through my stuff. Oh, I am sorry Michelle, that�smy roommate, Rachel.
(Rachel opens the door to Paolo)
Precious: He proposed to you? This is the worst birthday ever. (she starts to cry again)
The Doctor: Actually, giving birth to three babies isnt that different from giving birth to one.
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, is Sidney there? (Listens) Oh, this is? (To the gang) Sidney's a woman.
CHANDLER: What, you never look down in the shower? Oh please. I'm not allowed to make one joke in the monkey-is-penis genre?
[Scene: Ursula's apartment, Phoebe is about to break the bad news to her sister. She knocks on the door.]
Monica: No! To take more pictures of all of us together. I mean I really think it's the best resolution because everyone will enjoy the pictures.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
ROSS: Well, I uh, I can't seem to find the monkey I donated last year. He's a capuchan, answers to the name Marcel.
Chandler: Oh yeah, I just showed this a picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! Theyre buying me drinks! Theyre giving me stuff! (to Joey) Knicks tonight?
Judy:(to Jack) Jack, look at this.
Estelle: Ooh, what a shame! Because with her face (points to Monica) and her chest (points to Rachel) I could really put something together.
Ross: Monica's right, swing dancing can be tricky. I'm gonna use the phone. I gotta cancel those five giant teddy bears I sent to Emily. (Looks at the rose mulch.) My God, think of the massacre.
Joey: Doesnt seem like it's going to work, I mean
Ross: My wife had a workout friend she went to the gym with everyday for a year. She didn't get any fitter.
Rachel: Amy, that’s what I was supposed to wear today, that’s why I hung it on the door.
Rachel: Alright, come on... (starts to knock on the door) Alright, you guys. We're so sorry we're late. Please let us in, so we can have dinner together.
Chandler: (to Kim and Nancy) Oh, hi! Excuse me, is uh Rachel Green here? I was supposed to meet her for lunch.
Monica: Frannie was the one who found your Playboys and showed them to mom.
(Chandler is talking to Monica and notices a beautiful woman.)
Joey: Actually, that will be long. You know, I really need to organize my thoughts.
Joey: So, are you ready to go?
PHOEBE: Oh, this is so nice. Alright I have to make a speech. I just wanna say that of all the guys that Monica has been with, and that is a lot, I like you the best.
Phoebe: (to her date) Okay, and then this is the coffee house. This is where I play my music. (points to the stage)
Phoebe: Shes made it pretty clear, it is not going to happen.
Phoebe: Ooh! That's a good one! Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.
Joey: How'd you get to that?
Chandler: Wait, if we're lucky, and we're really really really quiet, we may be able to hear the sound of a condom breaking!
Chandler: Yeah, I'm fine. (trying to cover up what he is saying) I'm trppd in an ATM vstbl wth Jll Gdcr.
CHANDLER: That's great. All right, I gotta get to work, I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect.
Chandler: (to Joey) Could've been a peach.
Monica: Find some! Please! Anything that doesnt say I-I died tragically in France. (Joey leaves to find clothes.)
Phoebe: I-I-Id love to. Let me just tell my friend.
Monica: Chandler, this is crazy! What did you even say to him! "Come up, meet my wife! Give us your sperm"!
Chandler: Oh uh-uh, no-no-no-no-uh-uh. (He starts laughing, causing everyone else to laugh.)
Ross: No, it's for when Carol goes into labor. She can get me wherever I am. I mean, all she has to do is to dial 55-JIMBO.
Phoebe: I need to talk to you, its pretty urgent. Its about Monica and Chandler.
Chandler: So, Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say restaurant, I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And anyway, were on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
Monica: Windows are clean, candels are lit. Uh, belt's to tight, gotta change the belt. Did I turn the fish? (goes over to the kitchen to check on the dinner) No, cause I made lasagne. (to Rachel) Am I out of control?
Cecilia: Is that supposed to be me?