words in movies
Ross: Guys? There's a somebody I'd like you to meet.
(A monkey jumps on to his shoulder.)
Ross: Nah, I dunno... I think you reach a certain age, having a roommate is kinda pathe- (Realises) ....sorry, that's, that's 'pathet', which is Sanskrit for 'really cool way to live'.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing. Joey is not there.]
Chandler: Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I'm talking loud!
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
I made a man with eyes of coal And a smile so bewitchin', How was I supposed to know That my mom was dead in the kitchen? (shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...
(Cut to later. Everyone is totally depressed by now.)
Excuse me, excuse me! Yeah, noisy boys! (They stop talking and look up) Is it something that you would like to share with the entire group?
Phoebe: Well, c'mon, if it's important enough to discuss while I'm playing, then I assume it's important enough for everyone else to hear!
Chandler: (Quietly, to the others) That guy's going home with a note!
David: Noth- I was- I was just saying to my-
David: (Stands up and speaks more loudly) Sorry, I wa- I was just saying to my friend that I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen in my- in my life. And then he said that- you said you thought
Phoebe: Okay, we're gonna take a short break. (Goes over to their table)
Phoebe: Well, he's kinda like the guy I went to see that with. Except, except he-he's smarter, and gentler, and sweeter... I just- I just wanna be with him all the time. Day and night, and night and day... and special occasions...
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, I see where this is going, you're gonna ask him to New Year's, aren't you. You're gonna break the pact. She's gonna break the pact.
(He removes the coat to reveal an elf costume)
Monica: Do you always have to bring him here?
Ross: I didn't wanna leave him alone. Alright? We- we had our first fight this morning. I think it has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean, and he- he threw some faeces...
Ross: Oh, that'd be great! Okay, but if you do, make sure it seems like you're there to see him, okay, and you're not like doing it as a favour to me.
Chandler: Okay, but if he asks, I'm not going to lie.
[Scene: Max and David's lab, David is explaining something to Phoebe with the aid of a whiteboard.]
David: ...But, you can't actually test this theory, because today's particle accelerators are nowhere near powerful enough to simulate these conditions.
David: Uh, that's definitely a, uh, valid question. And, uh, the answer would be (Writes YES on the board) yes. Yes I was. But, see, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss that happened at this phenomenal moment, because, well, 'cause it's you.
David: Right. But, see, the longer I waited, the more phenomenal the kiss had to be, and now we've reached a place where it's just gotta be one of those things where I just like... sweep everything off the table and throw you down on it. And, uh, I'm not really a, uh, sweeping sorta fella.
David: Okay, okay, okay. (Gets ready to sweep, and then picks up a laptop computer) Y'know what, this was just really expensive. (Puts it down elsewhere. Then picks up a microscope) And I'll take- this was a gift. (Moves it)
David: Okay, what the hell, what the hell. (Sweeps the remaining papers off the desk and grabs Phoebe) You want me to actually throw you or you-you wanna just hop?
Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?
Chandler: I happen to know a Fun Bob.
Joey: Yeah, and I met this really hot single mom at the store. What's an elf to do?
Max: Well, if you see him, tell him to pack his bags. We are going to Minsk.
Max: Tell her, David. 'I don't wanna go to Minsk and work with Lifson and Yamaguchi and Flench, on nonononononono. I wanna stay here and make out with my girlfriend!!' (Storms out)
Ross: Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened...
(The door opens. Rachel is standing there. Her coat is muddy and torn, her hair is dishevelled and her face is bruised. Everyone turns to look)
Rachel: No. Okay. I was at the airport, getting into a cab, when this woman- this blonde planet with a pocketbook- starts yelling at me. Something about how it was her cab first. And then the next thing I know she just starts- starts pulling me out by my hair! So I'm blowing my attack whistle thingy and three more cabs show up, and as I'm going to get into a cab she tackles me. And I hit my head on the kerb and cut my lip on my whistle...oh...everybody having fun at the party? (To Monica) Are people eating my dip?
Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.
Fun Bobby: It's gonna be an open casket, y'know, so at least I'll- I get to see him again.
Chandler: Alright, Janice, that's it! Janice... Janice... Hey, Janice, when I invited you to this party I didn't necessarily think that it meant that we-
Janice: Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. (She runs off)
Max: Yoko. (To David) I've decided to go to Minsk without you.
Phoebe: You're going to Minsk.
David: No, I'm... not going to Minsk.
Phoebe: Oh, you are so going to Minsk. You belong in Minsk. You can't stay here just 'cause of me.
David: Yes I can. Because if I go it means I have to break up with you, and I can't break up with you.
Phoebe: Oh yes, yes, yes you can. Just say, um, 'Phoebe, my work is my life and that's what I have to do right now'. And I say 'your work?! Your work?! How can you say that?!'. And then you say, um, 'it's tearing me apart, but I have no choice. Can't you understand that?'. And I say (Hits him) 'no! No! I can't understand that!'.
Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.
Chandler: (To a woman who he has clearly just met) And then the peacock bit me. (Laughs) Please kiss me at midnight. (She leaves)
Chandler: Ooh. Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but she's in Monica's bedroom, getting it on with Max, that scientist geek. Ooh, look at that, I did know how to tell you.
Ross: (Watching Marcel and talking to Rachel) I wanted this to work so much. I mean I'm still in there, changing his diapers, pickin' his fleas... but he's just phoning it in. Just so hard to accept the fact that something you love so much doesn't love you back.
JOEY: Well, I couldn't do it. I told her I didn't want to get the part that way.
[she turns to leave, Frank follows]
Joey: Sure. (To Monica and Rachel) Coffee? Cause Im going up there.
Katie: Oh, ow! Did Joey tell you to say that? You guys, (Punches Joey) are too much! (Punches Rachel.)
Phoebe: I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother.
[Cut to the delivery room, Phoebe is about to give birth to the middle kid.]
Joey: (to the family) Sorry about that. Thanks for waitin'.
Phoebe: OK, fine, if it means that much to you I'll get rid of Bob.
Monica: Yes, but we have to be fast.
Monica: Well, an-anyway, I justthat night meant a lot to me, I guess Im just trying to say thanks.
Chandler: Okay, look, Im gonna have to ask you all to leave.
Rachel: What?! She just called and said that she was gonna be working late! She keeps lying to me! That's it! Y'know what? I'm just gonna go over there and confront them right now!
Chandler: You were not supposed to hear that! I said that behind you back!
Phoebe: Yeah, say my name. Say it! (She stops when she realizes what shes doing.) And now Im going to cover you back up, and umm were never doing this again.
Joey: Ha-ha. LookCome on, I dont know what to do or say. (He laughs.)
Mona: (interrupting him) Listen Ross, you dont have to apologize. I understand why you were there.
Ross: Ok! So let's move on to the Renaissance?
Monica: It's worse. The only thing that's getting me through is knowing that I'm gonna be seeing you soon. I think I may even try to get out of here early.
Joey: Thanks. (Starts to read it.) Well but this one starts now. (Points to one.)
(they make as if to go, but Ross notices something)
Ross: Yeah. Listen, can you keep this information to yourself?
(She pulls him over to the door.)
Joey: No, it's too wrinkly to be a mole.
Chandler: Okay, I have news. You don't have to move to Tulsa. You can stay here and keep your job.
Monica: Id like to have Don and Phoebe over. Wouldnt that be nice?
Joey: Man, if anyone asked me to give up any of you, I couldn't do it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica and Rachel and Phoebe are planning their respective strategies to break the other pairing. Joey is not amused.
Joey: (entering) Hey! (Goes to the fridge.)
MONICA: [to Ross] Looks like he's playin' baseball.
Ross: Well, it needs to be plicit.
Colleen: The bathroom is down the hall, to your left.
Joey: Look, its not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I dont want to hurt her.
Monica: All right, sorry. (Goes back to Rachels room.)
[cut to later, in Rosss huddle.]
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
Phoebe: Ross, you cant tell her not to go. You just started dating.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
Phoebe: Yeah. I really hate to give her up. Oh, I know!! Oh, you should take her!
Girl: Me too! (starts to take her coat off)
Rachel: Well, I used to date him, but youre still going out with her!
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is trying to relax her.]
Monica: Hey. Ross, did you know Mom and Dad are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving?
[Cut back to Monica and Chandlers room, they are making out again as theres another knock on the door.]
Janice: Ohh, well when you said all you were going to be doing between now and the time you leave is packing, you didnt really leave me much choice. Did you?
(Theres a knock on the door and Rachel opens it to a little girl.)
Ross: Okay lets put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.
Rachel: (tearful) I just can't believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming up- I wanted him to meet my family-
[Chandler puts a coin in the mini jukebox at the table. YMCA starts playing and Monica and the rest of the staff have to get on the counter and start singing along and dancing. After a couple of couruses, Chandler pulls out a handful of coins and drops them on the table.]
Joey: Oh, I chose not to hear that.
{Transcribers Note: This is an hour-long special episode. Which means that the first part of this episode is episode 615. The second part of this episode is episode 616. Since episodes 615 and 616 are combined into one file, thats why there is no episode 616 in the season 6 table of contents and the numbers jump from episode 615 to 617.}
Rachel: Thank God. Food. (She goes to answer the door.)
Ross: I think you need to tell her how you feel.
Monica: I wont care, because I know you will be feeling it all in here. (Points to her heart.)
Joey: I, I dont get you. I mean first, you hate me. Then you sleep with me. Then you want nothing to do with me, now you want me again.
Rachel: This is Bonnie? (to Phoebe) This is Bonnie? (to Bonnie) Youre Bonnie?
JOEY: Hold it hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. It made me nuts.
Ross: All right, lets not jump to any conclusions. All right? There was some sexual chemistry between them.
Rachel: Thank you. (Dr. Long exits.) Well, I guess we have some time to kill.
Ross: How are you ever going to sell this place?
Chandler: That means nothing to me. (To Ross) Come on!
Monica: Well, I did one time, and-and I want to start doing it more. See thats what this is about.
Ross: Now I cannot wait to see this.
Monica: (comes running out the kitchen to the bedroom) Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it!
Ross: (to Paul) Just-just so you know I was a freshman and she was a senior. So it wasnt as bad as-as
(Joey gestures to show that he wouldn't dare...)
[Scene: A curbside newsstand, Phoebe is whistling and walking up to it wearing her fur coat. She stops and starts to look through a magazine and notices a squirrel on a nearby tree chirping at her.]
Joey: Yeah-yeah I like that but just to go in another direction
Phoebe: Its me. Its Phoebe. Listen theres something in here I want to eat, what-what smells so good?
Phoebe: (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) Thats why I moved out.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is looking at an uncertain future.]
Monica: I dont know. (Picks up a big plate from the coffee table.) Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Rachel: Thank you! And now if youll excuse me, I have to go to the rest room.
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
(The band starts to play, and the recessional starts. Ross tries to take Emilys hand, but she snatches it away from him.)
Ross: (to the woman checking her mail) Who isn't?
Rachel: No, forget it! No way! I am not sending anymore Ralph Lauren clothes to prison. It is a waste.
Rachel: Phoebe, come on! What is the big deal? I thought this was going to be something we could do together! Y'know, I thought it would be fun!
(Rachel goes to hug him but Ross is holding one of her hands and doesnt let go, so she can only put one arm around him.)
Chandler: Yeah, I think that's wrong, but there's a Connect the Dots in here for you later. (To Monica) Hey, how about maroon?
Ross: Do you have a minute? Id like to talk to you about something Im, Im really uncomfortable talking about.
Rachel: I know Mona, just hear me out. First of all, Im so sorry about my father yelling at you, but I heard you totally held your own. Youre gonna have to tell me how you did that.
Monica: I mean, youre the one theyre gonna come to when they wanna run away from home, and the one they talk to about sex.
Ross: Oh, taking my parents back to the hotel.
Phoebe: Fine! Then you tell Roger because he was really looking forward to this! (Phoebe exits.)
Monica: No-no, its not okay! Its not! I mean you were just Youre so incredible! You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me! Yknow Im just gonnaI, I am gonna make this up to you! I will! I-I am going to cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and I am going to do anything you want in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Mackenzie: Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it?
Chandler: (In a loving voice) Yes, I do. Now, I may not understand why you have to win so badly, but if it's important to you then it's important to me, because I love you.
Phoebe: Do you wanna get to Rachel in time?
Monica: Ohh, sweetie! (Goes to comfort her.) Hey, I bet you anything that hes gonna call you again.
Gary: Y'know I really want to move this relationship forward.
Rachel: No, Im just kidding I would never do that to you! Okay, everybody, its trifle time!
Monica: (looking very serious) I need to talk to you.
Joey: your right! I love my life! (He gets up to go and speak to the girl and he turns back and sits down) I actually did sleep with her.
Phoebe: Great, okay, what are you gonna change it to?
Ross: What a weird way to kick me when Im down.
Monica: Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. (Goes to the counter) It was right here, where is it?
Monica: Okay, just back off mister! Whoa. (Pause) Cause I am ready to have a baby. I just want Joey to be the father.
Rachel: Well, Chandler, youre gonna have to tell him.
Rachel: Well, then I get to give him the cell phone.