words in movies
Ross: Oh, on a date. Yeah, I met this girl on the train going to a museum upstate.
Ross: Okay, it was just me and her at the back of the train, and I sat near the door, so shed have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy.
Chandler: All right, who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash?! I really wanted to take Kathy to this, I cant believe I missed it.
Rachel: Hey, yknow, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with! I hate being alone this time of year! Next thing you know itll be Valentines Day, then my birthday, then bang!before you know it, theyre lighting that damn tree again. Ohh, I want somebody! (hearing this, Gunther moves in) Yknow, I want a man!! (Gunther leaves depressed) I mean, it doesnt even have to be a big relationship, yknow, just like a fling would be great.
Chandler: Yknow what? Theres some nice guys at my office, do you want me to set you up?
Chandler: Well, I have a girlfriend, Im-Im happy. So, I no longer feel the need to go out of my way to stop others from being happy.
Phoebe: Hey, maybe they meant to write, Quiet, bitch.
Rachel: Hey, honey! Whats the matter? (Monica shows her, her hat.) Fine, I was just trying to be nice! Whoa!
Monica: I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. (Joey laughs and Monica glares at him.)
Monica: I mean theyre trying to do everything they can to make me quit, and if there were any other job, I would. But this is something Ive been waiting for my whole life.
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
Joey: Good enough to get fired.
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is trying to find Rachel a date.]
Chandler: See my friend-my friend, Rachel, she wants to be set up.
Mike: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Is this, hot Rachel, that you took to the Christmas party, Rachel?
Chandler: (to Drew) Oh, by the way, that is her full name.
Chandler: Oh well, thats uh, a little later than I uh, generally care to stay, but sure!
Phoebe: Hey! You guys, Im writing a holiday song for everyone. Do you want to hear it?
Phoebe: All good, thanks. (to Rachel) Do you maybe have a nickname have like a nickname thats easier to rhyme?
Monica: Didnt your dad used to call you Pumpkin?
Chandler: (to Rachel) Have I got the 50 guys for you!
Chandler: Oh yeah, I just showed this a picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! Theyre buying me drinks! Theyre giving me stuff! (to Joey) Knicks tonight?
Chandler: Guys are signing over their 401-Ks to me?
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Monica: (getting up) All right, Im gonna go to work. Does anybody have a problem with that?
Phoebe: If shes no fun, why do you want to date her at all?
Ross: Well, I-I want to give her another chance, yknow? She lives so close. And, at the end of the date, the other time, she-she said something that wasif she was kidding was very funny. On the other hand, if she wasnt kidding, shes not fun, shes stupid, and kind of a racist.
Joey: (checks his watch) Damn! (runs out to work)
Joey: Hey, what happened to your fancy chefs jacket? (sees theres a burn spot on it)
Joey: You got it! Oh-oh! (He starts patting the burned spot, which just happens to be over her breast.)
Chandler: Why not?! Id be thrilled if I heard that some hot girl was just looking to getoh I see.
Rachel: Oh, between you telling him that I wanted to have a fling and me putting out on the first dateoh, hes so gonna get the wrong idea.
Joey: Yeah. Listen uh, Id prefer it if you didnt call me Joey. Since I dont know anyone here, I thought itd be cool to try out a cool work nickname.
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
Monica: Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonights specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bagWhy is nobody writing these down?
Monica: Okay, forget the specials for a minute. Umm, all right heres the thing, for the last two weeks I have umm, (quietly) tried really hard to create a positive atmosphere
Monica: (louder) A positive atmosphere! But I-I-I have had it up to here. (She holds her hand over her head as an afterthought.) From now on, it is gonna be my way, or the highway! All right? Does anybody have a problem with that?!! (Joey looks at the money hes holding, and doesnt speak up.) Hey new guy! I said, does anybody have a problem with that?!
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
Joey: I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! Its been a long time since I had (tries to do the math in his head, but cant) 327 + 238 dollars!"
Monica: Joey, we had a deal. That-thats why youre here! Ive got to fire you!
Joey: And I gotta pay rent! Look, how-how about this? You dont fire me, instead I stay here, I gain their trust, and theyll start listening to all the nice things Ive been saying about you.
Joey: Well nothing yet, they really hate you and I want to fit in.
Phoebe: Well look, you dont really like the one from uptown and youre too exhausted from dating the one up in Poughkeepsie, so I say you just end them both. Okay? You take a train up to Poughkeepsie and break up with her, and on your way back you break up with uptown. And then by the time you get home tonight, youre done!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is playing living room golf as Rachel enters. Rachel sees this and holds the door open until Chandler is ready to start his swing, when he is, she slams the door shut which causes the club to fly from his hands. He turns around, shocked.]
Rachel: Yknow, you should never be allowed to talk to people!
Chandler: Well, yknow, youre-youre gonna meet somebody! Youre a great catch! Yknow when I was telling all those guys about you, I didnt have to lie once. (He sits down on the arm of her chair)
Chandler: Oh, it doesnt matter. (Kisses her on the top of her head.) Hey, yknow what, Ive got two tickets to tonights Rangers game, you wanna come with me?
Chandler: So there is no good time to ask that question.
[Scene: A train to Poughkeepsie, Ross is asleep against the window.]
Monica: I need more swordfish. (to one of the assistant chefs) Can you get me some more swordfish?
Kitchen Worker: Well, I dont know what to tell ya!
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
Monica: (starting to cry) Im a good person. And Im a good chef, and I dont deserve to have marinara sauce all over me! Yknow what, if you want me to quit this bad, then all you have to do is
Monica: Good! Now, take those salads to table 4, (to the kitchen worker from earlier) And you! Get the swordfish! (to another assistant chef) And you! Get a haircut!
Ross: (waking up) What? (notices that there is now a beautiful woman sitting next to him)
Woman On Train: Were at my stop. But would you like to have coffee?
Woman On Train: Oh, no. But its just a two hour ferry ride to Nova Scotia.
Joey: Well I guess I shouldve thought about my wife and kids before I talked back to chef Geller!
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Chanukah. Saw Santa Clause, he said hello to Ross. And plese tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"
Pete: Monica, I want to become (pause) the Ultimate Fighting Champion.
Joey: Yeah, and I met this really hot single mom at the store. What's an elf to do?
Janice: Whats the matter? Is something wrong? Do you have to stay?
Monica: Mine? (points to her lower lip) Right here?
Chandler: Oh, I have to get married in James Bonds tux!
Joey: Its just a game Mon. (makes a Can-you-believe-her face to the rest of the gang.) Rach, how about you?
Ross: Im going to uh Im going to, um, put the bourbon in it at home.
RACHEL: (lowers voice to imitate Ross) "Yeah."� (Clears throat.)� "Me too."
[Cut to Ross leaping into Chandlers Hotel room in London in The One With Rosss Wedding.]
ROSS: Wha--? Whoa, hey, I don't want my birthday to be the source of any kind of negative--there's gonna be a hoopla?
Joey: (goes over to Chandler) Hey buddy! Hows it going?
Dr. Green: Youre still going to that chiropractor, that man couldnt get into medical school in Extapa!
Ross: Oh umm, well uh, maybe-maybe later. Right now, Im about to dance with this lady.
Monica: I'm still not done not wanting to talk to you.
Monica: They've only been going out for a few weeks and Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike! She'll say "No", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again.
Monica: Two in a row! Youve got to use your tongues now! (They kiss again.)
Phoebe: (to Rachel, whos staying in the cab.) Arent you gonna go?
Ross: Sorry. (To remedy that, Ross scoops the cinnamon off of the top with his hand.)
[Scene: Jasons apartment, Phoebe has gone to break up with Jason.]
Phoebe: Thats all right, Ill work here. This is goo, next to this plant. (She picks a place in the lobby next to a plant.)
chandler: Now we can finally watch Green Acres the way it was meant to be seen.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's kitchen, Chandler has a jug of milk in his hands and decides to make some warm milk. He opens up the cabinet to get a pot and manages to knock several other pots onto the floor making a lot of noise.]
Chandler: Well, thanks a lot for hookin me up Rach. I want you to know that I want you to attend our wedding as my guest.
Chandler: So what are you going to do?
Phoebe: Yeah, well, dont Aww Pheebs, that sucks! me yet. (she starts to leave)
Ross: I could ask her to live with me!
[Rachel runs to the sink to spit it out.]
Phoebe: I cant believe Im gonna have a party! This is so great! (Really excited) A party! (Really, really excited) Yay!! (Suddenly, she starts crying and Rachel moves to comfort her.) I dont know why.
Monica: (to Chandler) Take me home! (they quickly leave)
[Scene: The hallway, Joey is coming up the stairs and sees Chandler trying to open the lock.]
MONICA: But I thought you wanted to live by yourself.
Ross: Yeah, no, youre right, I know, youre right, Im not, Im not gonna do it. All right, thanks guys. (Gets up to leave.)
Rachel: Ohhh! That is soo sweet! (gets up to get herself a cup of coffee)
Joey: Sure, sure. Ok, (clears his throat and starts to read from his script. He starts talking in a fake French accent, making gestures with his hands) "Bleu de la bleu, de la blu bla bleu" (Phoebe looks astonished, annoyed and disgusted, Joey seems very proud though) See?
Mrs. Geller: (stopping him) Dont get up Jack! The safety pins are about to blow.
Phoebe: Wow! This reminds me of the time when I was umm, living on the street and this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him.
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
Dr. Green: They found rust. You know what rust does to a boat?
Joey: Oh no-no-no-no, she wants to talk to you!
Ross: What? Oh yeah, yeah I think so. Why am I invited to this again?
Phoebe: I dont ever want to see you again!
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, Iit's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
Joey: I dont want to move again!
Charlie: It's a... It's good to meet you! Thank you so much for taking the time out to show me around.
Ticket Counter Attendant: One ticket to Yemen?
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
Chandler: (to Monica) Take off your shirt!
[Scene: Terrys office, Joey has come to beg for a second chance.]
Ross: I see... Thanks very much. (he gets up and walks to the door. On his way out he looks at the photographs Mr Zelner has near his door. He picks one up.) Is this your son?
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
Chandler: Id like to go up the ladder of chance to the golden mud hut please.
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Joey: She was nothing compared to you.
(Robert leans back on the arm of the chair and allows Chandler to see up his shorts and sees little Robert. Chandler is horrified by this view.)
Joey: (to Gene) I know it could be intimidating for regular people to be around celebrities but... relax, I'm just like you! (pause) Only better looking and richer.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross is about to be attacked by Paulo's cat.]
Chandler: Its your parents anniversary and youre going to talk about their dead pet?
Lady: Well, we already have one offer on it, and I think the lady upstairs is goning to make another one.
(The message is finished. Ross jumps over to the answering machine.)
RACHEL: Oh well, well thank you.� (She laughs.� He stares for a moment.)� Okay, stop.� Stop looking at me like that.� The last time that happened, (points to Ross) that happened.� (points to Emma.)
[Cut to Central Perk, Fat Monica and Rachel are on the couch.]
Ross: All right, I just wanted to check.
Elizabeth: You wanted to see me Professor Geller?
Chandler: [to Kathy] Goodnight.
Chandler: I gotta check out this hot girl! (He heads to the window but realizes something, stops, turns and points at Monica.) There she is! (He dances over to her and kisses her.)
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, Im Joshua, Im here to pick up Rachel.
(Joey listens to his overcoat for a second and sighs, then notices Chandler watching)
Joey: Yes. It's just that she's so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated! Combined! I don't want her to think I'm stupid!
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
Chandler: Yknow what, we have to turn off the porn.
Monica: (to Julie) It's an expression.
Ross: Anyway seriously, uh just just talk to the guy, okay? And tell me how it goes. (walks towards the door until )
Rachel: Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshuas gone so you and Emily are free to go.
Chandler: We have to bust it open, but neither of us can do it!
Rachel: I It justit took me so long to get that desk organized.
Joey: (gets very angry) Damnit Carl! (Carl goes to say something more, and Joey silences him with a grunt.)
(Rachel watches that and slowly backs out to head for home.)
Rachel: Like a little girl. I know. I know. I know. This is all my fault; I wanted him to open up. But God, I didnt know that I was gonna unleash this-this weepy, clingy, moist monster!
(He sits down next to her.)
(Everyone starts to imitate him.)
Ross: No! No sir umm, she means a lot to me. I mean, I careI-I love Rachel.
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Rachel: Well! Good night. (to Ross) Im going upstairs.
(Ross takes the tape roll she's handing him and walks to the guest room while mocking Monica's voice)
Chandler: Oh, great. We have to watch him do yoga in his underwear, but for this he closes the drapes!
Ross: And then she said it was the perfect way to say goodbye.
Joshua: Huh. Oh, boy! (Sits down next to her.) Uhh, I-I dont wear suits to work, and I bought six of them from you.
Phoebe: No, it's not supposed to be funny, it's supposed to be scary.
Rachel: Oh, okay! (She goes over to him and he feels her belly.)
(Ross throws a punch, but Joey ducks and Ross punches the pole. Ross then screams from the pain and turns to Gunther, and Gunther has a huge smile on his face.)
Kate: I dont care. Why, do you want me to care?
[Scene: The 2001 Soapie Awards, Joeys category is up next and the presenter walks to the podium.]
Phoebe: You’re just so mean to each other! And I don’t want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Chandler: (getting in) Okay, something to cover the smell � Oven cleaner! (sprays himself, reads label) Unscented!
Monica: What-what are you doing? Is this supposed to be funny?
Chandler: To yourself. (finishing) Hey-hey-hey, y'know what that's pretty good.
Monica: Maybe a Hello Kitty doll, the ability to walk...
Chandler: I dont see him. (To Monica) Do you see him?
Rachel: Uh Pheebs, we just actually kinda wanted to be alone.
Ross: I just wanted to thank you again for last night, what a great party! And the guys from work had a blast. Yknow, one of them had never been to a bachelor party before. Yeah! And-and another one had never been to a party before, so