words in movies
Chandler: Let me ask you, why is everybody using these tiny lights nowadays? I remember when people used to use big lights.
Chandler: I dunno what it is, it just doesnt quite feel like Christmas to me.
Ross: and thats the story of the dreidle. Now, some people trace the Christmas tree back to the Egyptians, who used to bring green palm branches into their huts on the shortest day of the year, symbolising lifes triumph over death. And that was like 4000 years ago.
Joey: I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. Yknow, everywhere I look shes like (He imitates her stretching)
Chandler: I can see why thats hard to resist.
Janine: I just got a call to be a dancer on a television special for New Years Eve. Its called some sort of Dickn Rockn Dickie Eve.
Janine: Well they said I should bring someone. (To Joey) Do you wanna be my dance partner?
Joey: Totally! I would love to spend New Years with you.
Rachel: Well, I used to date him, but youre still going out with her!
Janine: Thanks. (To Monica and Ross) Great so we can all go together! I gotta run. Catch you later!
Monica: What are you talking about? She just invited him to the biggest party of the millennium!
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
Rachel: Well, thats a lot better than Ross trying to kiss me in High School, and saying that he did it because he needed chapstick.
Monica: We are going to Dick Clarks New Years Rocking Eve!
Chandler: (To Rachel) Oh my God!
Joey: OK, listen Ive been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright? Its a show, but were just dancing, OK? Its no big deal. The important thing to remember stay cool.
(They get to the main stage)
(Monica and Ross push to the front)
Rachel: Dont worry, were just gonna search here for an hour, them were gonna go over to Joeys and search, OK?
Phoebe: But we have to!
Chandler: No, you dont have to, and you cant because I live here too.
Rachel: Chandler, arent you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
Rachel: Chandler, thats not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And youve just gotten her one great present? I mean thats just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Chandler: Because thats where Joey gave me some stuff to store that Ive never seen before in my life! Okay, that did not just happen! (He does a weird clicky motion with his fingers, that kinda hard to describe.)
(As the camera passes by, they start to dance really rigid, but the camera is facing the other way.)
Monica: If we wanna get on camera, I think we have to get up on one of those platforms. Theyve been taping those people up there all day.
Ross: Hey, whatd you guys do to get up on there?
Girl: We learned how to dance.
Monica: Oh yeah? Well when you learned how to dance did you forget how to put on underpants?
(Camera pans to Joey and Janine)
(She pulls Joey towards her and dances really close to him.)
Director: (To Joey) Okay, youre dancing with that girl over there.
Director: I dont see it. (To Janine) You are dancing with the tall guy over there. Tall guy, raise your hand! (He does. Janine goes over to him.)
Phoebe: Yeah, and you have nothing to worry about 'cos they're all crap!
Joey: Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. (The girl starts dancing really close to him, so he picks her up, twirls her round, and puts her against a platform) Here we go. (He walks away to find Monica and Ross doing a really out of place dance) Looking good Gellers!
(They dance over to him.)
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
Joey: Hey! Tall guy! Hey, listen, I wanted to talk to you about that girl that youre dancing with.
Tall Guy: Shes nice, huh? To think I almost brought my wife to this!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown Im trying to win her over, so I was wondering if..
Joey: Alright, alright, hey yknow fair is fair, (he pretends to wash his hands) if youre right, youre right, what can I say, but hey oh no! (He throws water on the guys pants)
(They move into a space, and Ross points to his eyes and then to hers)
(They start the routine. However hard I try, I really cannot describe it. You will have to watch it. Im sorry.)
(When they finish, they walk over to the director)
Ross: So, do we really have to ask whos going up on the platform next?
Monica: Yes! (They run over to a platform)
Director: (To Cameraman) Make sure you get this, theyre gonna want it for the bloopers show. (To everyone) Alright cut! Listen up everyone, when we start again its gonna be the countdown to new years, so I wanna see everybodys excitement.
[Cut to Joey and Janine]
Tall Guy: Hey, pal, you have about three seconds to get away from my partner.
Joey: Uh, take a look at the guys pants! I mean, I know you told us to show excitement, but dont you think he went a little overboard?
[Cut to Ross and Monica, who are finally on a platform!]
Monica: Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we dont wanna look stupid!
Director: Alright were back! Ten seconds left here we go! Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! (He continues to count as we hear Joey think)
Joeys Head: Okay, it all comes down to this. Whatever happens, happens. Destiny.
Director: Okay, heres where we go to the live shot of Times Square, nice work everyone thats a wrap!
Chandler: Oh, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage! Hmm, I wonder what I could get Monica thats as good as garbage?
Chandler: I dont wanna know what Monica got me. Yknow? I mean, look, Im sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
Monica: Hey guys! You found the presents? Chandler, you let them find the presents? Great! Do you know how long it took me to find you that water purifier?
(Rachel leans over to look at him.)
Joey: Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Years gonna go off. I guess theres no reason for all that Y2K panic, yknow? Anyway, gnight!
Janine: Well, I dont know tonight when they yelled cut and we didnt get to kiss, I was really, really, disappointed, and I just, really wanted to kiss you
Joey: Really? In the moment, I really wanted to kiss you too. In the moment.
Janine: Joey, you dont have to count down every time we kiss.
Joey: Uh, yeah, okay. Except I sorta felt like I needed a couple of seconds to get ready.
(They kiss to the music of Auld Lang Syne)
Monica: We were on the platform, ready to dance the world into the new Millennium, and the guy yelled CUT!
Monica: Yeah. But of course we had to update it a little bit. (To Ross) Hey, by the way, great thinking about catching me!
Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)
Rachel: Really? Okay. Okay, I-Ill go upstairs. (to Paul) If-if you get me something from the car.
Rachel: Sure. I guess. Hey, I hear you don't have to go to London. Yay!
Rachel: No yknow, I dont want to switch! Come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
Chandler: (to another female nurse) Hey, how 'bout it? You, me, Saturday night?
Ross: That, that is funny... (to Joey).... and Rachel keeps touching him.
Monica: (on phone, faking she's sick) I-I'm not gonna be able to make it into work today, I don't feel very good. (Joey makes a high throw and Monica has to catch it way over her head.) (Not sounding sick) Yes!! (Realizes what she just did.) (Sounding sick again) Wow! Uh, for a second there I thought I was really better, but I'm not. (Hangs up and keeps throwing the ball.)
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Chandler: (suppressing a smile) What I do do is manage to uh, create an atmosphere of support for the people working with me.
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
Rachel: Noooo... look, all I know is that I cannot wait a week until I see him. I mean, this is just too big. Y'know, I just, I've just gotta talk to him. I... I gotta... OK, I'll see you later. (opens door)
(Cut to Ross and Rachel, talking next to one of the tables.)
Rachel: Gunther, Gunther, please, Ive worked here for two and a half years, I know the empty trays go over there. (points to the counter.)
Rachel: No you guys, I am not getting in a car with him, youll have to think of something else.
Phoebe: I want to see what he wants first.
Kathy: If you want it to be.
Mark: Hi. I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it, you got the job.
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
Rachel: Thats not true! (Starts to cry.)
Joey: Hey, I don't need violence to enjoy a movie. Just so long as there's a little nudity.
[All by myself is playing. Chandler is sitting in front of a window while it's raining outside. We see Joey through a rainy window. The camera zooms out to show it's just his tabletop water sculpture.]
Rachel: (entering, to Ross) The most unbelievable thing happened to me today.
(Chandler opens the bathroom door to reveal Joey passed out on the toilet with a toothbrush in his mouth.)
(Trying on a hat and talking to his own reflection in the mirror)
Rachel: (to Monica) Did you know he was in there?
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey are you getting Monica and Chandler an engagement present?
Rachel: Phoebe! (goes back to the window)
JOEY: I got one. Which one of us do you think will be the last to get married? [They all look at Chandler]
Joey: (talking to a pineapple in his hand) God, you're beautiful...why are we fighting this?You know you want it to happen as much as I do.
Janice: Oh, you didn't have to do this.
Ross: Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.
Tommy: Ooh, sorry little Mr. Chic-A-Dee, sorry you went doody in my hand! (starts to walk out and stops) (to Rachel) Well, I guess were not going out anymore. Whaa!!!
[Scene: A Video Store, Monica is running in to return a video.]
Joey: Youre gonna have to pee on it.
Phoebe: Yes, I I am with child. (Flash) And I didnt want to say anything because its your day; I didnt want to steal your thunder.
Sarah: Really Mr. Geller, you dont have to do this.
(They get into a wrestling match, that ends with Ross making Rachel paint her forehead with the nail polish. They both end up lying next to each other, stop, and look at each other for a moment.)
Chandler: And I don't wanna say this, I don't you guys to hate me, but uh, I don't think, I can be around that dog anymore. Okay, so either the dog goes, or I go. (An awkward silence ensues.) Oh my god!!
Chandler: I can't remember the last time I got a girl to take care of my monkey.
Joey: (To Ross) Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out. (He hangs up the phone and strands Ross in the bathroom.)
Guru Saj: We appear to have angered it.
JOEY: [reading over her shoulder] Wait, here's one. Uh, would you be willing to cook naked?
WOMAN: You know, I uh, I couldn't help but overhear what you just said, and I think it's time for you to forget about Rose, move on with your life...how 'bout we go get you a drink?
Monica: I gotta tell ya, I think its okay to be that guy.
Ross: Well isnt there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, cant-cant you pick up, I dont know, an extra shift here?
(The passenger in the seat next to Rachel looks at her and seems a little nervous.)
Phoebe: Well, okay, fine, use my happy place. Okay, I'm just gonna, I have to ask that you don't move anything.
Joanna: Oh yes, well theres the coffee too. (to the committee) Rachel can carry two things at once!
Ross: And you thought she was going to be in our way! So, why dont you, uh, open the champagne, and Ill be right back. Ive got a surprise for you.
Rachel: Alright, look, I have to go. I love you, and I will call you the minute I get to Paris.
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Monica: (kneels with him) Chandler, umm, I want you to take just a minute and I want you to think about how ridiculous this sounds.
Joey: (shaking his head as if to say: of course not!) No, no, my mouth says the words, my brain is thinking monster trucks!
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
Ross: There was no song. (to Monica) There was no song!
Chandler: Yes! Remember? Right before we cut the cake, I went up to you and I said
Rachel: And I hope its not an inappropriate time to say this but, youre the best sex I ever had.
Ross: Tag? Y-You're going? (Comes over to Tag) Uh we didn't, uh we didn't get the chance to talk. Uh, so, where did you say you're from again?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol is dropping Ben off for Ross to watch.]
Chandler: You look great. I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal dinner, you know, I so rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them.
Chandler: Yes talk to her. Be a man.
Chandler: Oh yes, and thats what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
RACHEL: Oh that's so cute:� Ross and Mike's first date.� Is that going to be awkward?� I mean, what are you guys going to talk about?
[Scene: The Theatre, after the party. Joey is trying to comfort Kate.]
Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldnt come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Ross: All right everyone, lift! (They and try to lift the car, of course it doesnt raise up) And slide!! (Everyone leans over, but the car still does not move.)
RACH: Oh, I know, I'm sorry you guys. You're just gonna have to get used to the fact that I will not be dating Ross.
Rachel: Uh Will umm, I just want to say that Im real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Ross: (to Chloe) I like this song.
Joey: (To Mr. Treeger) So you ah, ready for our last practice?
Mona: Oh good, youre here. Yeah, and I was worried that it was going to be uncomfortable.
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
[Scene: Mr. Treegers apartment, Joey is there to suck up.]
JANICE: And what? Missed the expression on your face? Janice likes to have her fun.
Monica: I cant! I have to work!
Joey: Hey, that's why I didn't invite you. you have to calm down, alright... go, go get yourself a drink or something...
Chandler: Yes! Ross, you have to stay!
Monica: (not amused by Chandlers joke) I miss Rachel. (To Chandler) No, my parents.
Ross: Yeah! Anyway, I-I still think we should try to patch things up, yknow? Like uh, maybe we could get him to get tickets to another Knicks game and invite him.
Phoebe: I don't know. But, God, Joey seems to be handling it suprisingly well.
Ross: All right, see you guys. (starts to leave)
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
Phoebe: Perhaps because you gave her an engagement ring? Yknow Ross doctors are supposed to be smart.
Ross: (To Joey) Sir Limps-A-Lot, I came up with that.
Chandler: Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred.
Joey: Ye-ye, we go to yours!
Joey: Is it her fault that some of them didnt make it to you?
Phoebe: (to Joey) Youre Franks best man?!
Ross: (to the crowd in the laundromat) All right, show's over. Nothing to see here. (to Rachel) Ok, let's do laundry.
(Rachel unlocks and opens the door to reveal a half-naked Chandler handcuffed to the chair. They both gasp and Chandler stares at them in shock and surprise.)
Ross: You've got to help me my monkey swallowed a 'K'!
Rachel: Thank you. (To Monica) Mon?
Chandler: Yes, and I have to say, I am not just hurt. I am insulted. When I tell somebody I did something...
(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table. Ross is upset)
Phoebe: Oh no, don't hate, you don't want to put that out into the universe.
Barry: We can, we can go to Aruba! When I went there on what would have been our honeymoon, it was, uh... it was really nice. You would've liked it.
Rachel: Ohh, gee. I wonder why she thinks youre going to call her?
Ross: Okay, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Phoebe are there, both ready to break up with their significant others.]