words in movies
Chandler: Buh-bye. (Hangs up the phone) I just got us reservations at Michelles and tickets to the Musicman to celebrate our first holiday season as a betroughed couple.
Phoebe: No, no, no. It's not! It's not my mom. It belonged to mom. Yeah, no, she used to put it out every Christmas to remind us, that even though it's Christmas, people still die. And, you can put candy in it. (She grabs the skull, pulls out a stick of licorice, and takes a bite.)
Ross: Nope. I mean, I know Susan does every year, but I think I wanna take this year to teach him all about Hanukkah.
Rachel: You may need to use this year to teach Ben about Phoebe.
Rachel: (to Monica) Did you know he was in there?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting a cup of coffee and sits down next to Monica.]
Chandler: Hey, you know what I was thinking? When we get married, are you gonna change your last name to Bing?
Chandler: No! No, she didn't say that. I-I-I think you should talk to Monica now.
Monica: Phoebe, don't worry about it. I'm sure she wants to live with you.
Phoebe: Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. (Chandler and Monica look surprised) Kind of what probably really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, "Your mom probably won't kill herself," yknow? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "Probably!" Yknow? You gotta take care of yourselves! (She starts to walk out) In this world history teaches us nothing! (Exits)
Chandler: (to the Maitre d') Hi, could we get two burritos to go, please? (Laughs.)
Monica: I'm sorry. But not that sorry, 'cause you don't have to live with it. Um, we have a reservation under the name Chandler Bing.
Chandler: Forty-five minutes? We have tickets to the Musicman at 8:00.
Monica: (pulling Chandler away from the Maitre d') You need to give him money.
Monica: No, to get a table! Places like are always shakin you down. Everybody wants to be paid off.
Monica: You've got to be smooth about it.
Chandler: Hey, I can be smooth. (Walks back to the Maitre d', very smoothly) Listen, we're a little bit in a hurry, so, if you can get us a table a little quicker, I'd appreciate it. (Shakes his hand)
Chandler: Okay. (Walks back to Monica)
Ross: Yes, but also (Pauses to let Ben answer, but he doesnt.) Hanukkah! See, you're part Jewish, and-and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday.
[Scene: Michelle's, Chandler and Monica are discussing how to bribe the Maitre d'.]
Chandler: Richard used to do it, didn't he?
Chandler: (walks up to the Maitre d') Excuse me...
[Chandler can't find his money in the pocket. In the meantime, another couple shows up, and Chandler turns away to look for his money]
Male Guest: (to the Maitre d') Good evening. (Shakes his hand)
Chandler: (finds his money) Ahh-hahaha! (Turns around to give the Maitre d' his money, but he isn't there anymore)
Joey: Hey-hey, Pheebs, check it out, we already learned a song. (To Rachel) Ready? One, two, three, four...
Chandler: Thank you Gunther, put it there. (He gets up, and shakes Gunther's hand. A bunch of coins fall out his hand. He sits down next to Monica.) Definitely not easier with coins. (Joey gets up and picks up the coins. Chandler thinks, Joey is just helping him to pick them up.) Thank you.
Phoebe: Hey! (she sits down next to him)
Chandler: If you wanna give Joey a Christmas present that disrupts the entire building, why not get him something a little bit more subtle, like a wrecking ball, or a vile of small pox to release in the hallway?
Monica: It's not just the drum noise. Every five minutes, Joey throws his sticks in the air, and I have to hear, "Oh my eye! Oh god, my eye!" I mean, it is so annoying.
Phoebe: Yes, thank you. You see, this is how normal people are supposed to react to drums.
Monica: Phoebe, you got Joey drums to annoy Rachel, so she wouldn't wanna live there anymore?
Phoebe: (sarcastic) Ah, yeah, he's so adorable, God, he's just so much fun, Joey is the best, I'm glad you're having so much fun here. (She turns around, about to leave)
Rachel: Did you get all this stuff for Joey to try and drive me out of the apartment? Honey, if you wanted to do that, you might as well just gotten him a fish, you know how fish freaked me out!
Phoebe: Yes, but I wanted you to want to live with me, but okay, if you're having so much fun over here
Rachel: Oh, I would love to!
Rachel: Good, good, good, good, good. (She runs to the drums and gets the sticks)
Phoebe: Great, all right, okay, and Monica ask me to make the drumming stop.
Rachel: (with the sticks in her hands) Um... (She goes to the tarantula-cage and puts the sticks into it) Done!
Salesman: Hello, Sir. You're here to return those pants?
Ross: Okay look, do-do, you have anything Christmassy? I promised my son, and I really don't want to disappoint him, um, come on, I uh, you gotta have something.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just opened the door for Ross who is costumed as an Armadillo. Ben is standing next to her.]
Ross: I'm the holiday armadillo! I'm a friend of Santa's and he sent me here to wish you (Points to Ben) a Merry Christmas!
Monica: What happened to Santa, Holiday Armadillo?
Ross: (to Monica) Santa was unavailable so close to Christmas.
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico! But, Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. (He tries to bend down to pick up the bag with the presents, but can't because of the costume) Maybe the Lady will help me with these presents.
Ross: (to Monica) You wanna wander in the hall? (to Ben) Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the festival of lights?
Ben: Santa! (Runs to Chandler and hugs him)
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird turtle-man?
Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?
Chandler: You bet I did, Ben, put it there! (He shakes Ben's hand, but the money falls out of his hands) (to Monica) Well, it would have worked this time, if his hands weren't so damn small! (Realizes, that Ben is standing right there) Ho, ho, ho!
[They walk to the kitchen; everyone is lowering their voices]
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
Chandler: But I didn't get to shape my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
Ross: I'm sorry, Chandler but this, this is really important to me.
[Ross turns around and walks back to Ben.]
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)
Ross: Okay Ben, Santa has to go. Say good-bye!
Ben: No! Why does he have to go?
(Ross mouths to Chandler, "Thank you," and he mouths, "Youre welcome," back.)
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, they are entering to check out the newly refurbished apartment.]
Rachel: (returning) Okay, remember uh, remember how you told me that your grandmother put up that wall to make that into two bedrooms?
Phoebe: Oh no! (She runs to see.) (Running back, excitedly) Oh! Wow!!!
Phoebe: Well, I guess well just have to put the wall back up.
Phoebe: Theres a skylight?! (Runs to see and yells from the bedroom.) Wow!!
Rachel: Oh yeah? Startin to feel her again there are we?
Rachel: Oh please, I hate packing, its closer to work, and we do have fun. Although, Im really gonna miss living with you.
Rachel: I know. (They hug.) Oh-oh, wait did you hear that-hear that? Listen, Im gettin something from your grandmother, she said that since you get to keep the one bedroom apartment you should give Rachel the purple chair?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Santa (Chandler), Superman (Joey), Ben, and Monica are listening to the Holiday Armadillo (Ross) finish telling the story of Hanukkah.]
Ross: The Armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part! Okay Ben, its time to light the Hanukkah candles! (Santa, Superman, Monica, Ben, and the Holiday Armadillo go over to the menorah to light the candles.)
(They both go over to light the candles.)
(Joey throws open his door and stands there still in the Superman costume then slowly makes his way to the bathroom while keeping both eyes on the cage.)
Malcom: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I tried to stop, but I couldn't. I'm so pathetic.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Its closer to dinner. Monica has just told everyone that Tim is coming to dinner.]
Monica: My mothers driving me crazy, but Ross is getting married. Im happy. (A drunken man approaches.) Im not going to let anything spoil that.
Ross: Yknow your probably not allowed to sleep with any of your students.
Monica: (to clerk) Hi.
Richard: Its good to see you.
Monica: Its good to see you too.
RICHARD: Ooh, duct tape. Was I supposed to bring something too?
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey and Rachel are there to give Jessica her award.]
Phoebe: I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.
Ross: And what are you going to do for him?
BEST MAN: No, no, no now in all seriousness, its not a lot of women would've had the guts to come back here tonight, and even fewer, who would do it with their asses hanging out! (da-doom-chesh)
Aunt Iris: No! That's bluffing. Lesson number one. (walks into kitchen) Let me tell you something... everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap. (to Phoebe): Nice earrings.
Woman On Train: Were at my stop. But would you like to have coffee?
Chandler: Im here to see Mary-Angela.
Mrs. Geller: Oh no, dont be silly. I just bet Id need these. (Opens the freezer to reveal )
Chandler: Good, God's speed, good people! (he starts to close the door, turns around and sees Wendy) You're not gonna go?
Ross: I mean we dont want to go down that road do we?
Rachel: Fine! Im sorry for your loss! (Hands it back to her.)
Joey: OK. (Ross goes out on the balcony to talk to Rachel)
Chandler: Look forget it okay? I dont want to go. I dont want to see him. I dont wanna.
Ross: (on the phone) Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? (pause) Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? (pause) Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.
MOVER: Uh, the dog. [points to a big poecelain greyhound]
Whitney: Were so sorry. (They get up to leave.)
Phoebe: Well, 'cause then they'd be like my mom used to make them, you know, before she died.
Phoebe: I feel like my face is swelling. (To Monica) Is my face swelling?
Rachel: Yeah, yeah and you know what, I know she's gonna wanna run again, I just don't know how to get out of it, I mean, I live with her.
Joey: Oh no, I cant go. Im practicing; I got an audition to be the host of a new game show.
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to Richard on the phone.]
Monica: Perhaps, you would like me to turn like this, (turns sideways on the couch) so that you can bunny bump against my back.
Rachel: So you know how to fix it?
Ross: Oh great! That means Im stuck with, "So, we were watching you in there (Points to the TV) and you were sittin right here! Whoa!"
[Cut back to Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Joey: I was going for quiet desperation. But if you have to ask...
ERICA: No, no no no, you don't have to tell me anything. You don't have to explain yourself to me. Ooh, who am I to question the great Dr. Drake Remore?
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
Monica: (to Joey) You owe me 20 bucks.
Chandler: Weve got to do something!
Richard: You want me to cancel it?
Gunther: You dont need to fill these silences.
Emily: Good night, it was very nice to meet you all. (Storms out.)
[Scene: Max and David's lab, David is explaining something to Phoebe with the aid of a whiteboard.]
Phoebe: You dont know him. Its not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. (She sits down like shes pregnant.)
Rachel: Joey, honey, I dont think youre supposed to go back there.
ROSS: And that's what's gonna kill me. I'm allergic to kiwi.
Monica: (sees what he is doing) Chandler, stop! It is not going to pop open!
Rachel: (shakes her head) Alright, alright look, just uh... just try to remember how you felt when you were in love, and think about that when you're playing the scene.
Joey: Are you kidding me? Im great! Yeah, Im uh; Im better than great. I am good. And now that shes gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldnt do before. Yknow? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Yknow? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Yknow? I like being on my own, Im uh, better off this way. Im uh, a lone wolf. Yknow? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. Whats a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! (Chandler rushes over and hugs him.)
Rachel: We dont want it-it to be too much, we want it to be subtle.
Chandler: It's ok, it's ok. You know what? (Takes out his mobile) I'll just call the agency and tell them to throw out the letter. (starts dialing)
Phoebe: My moms gonna be here any minute. I cant do this, I cant give him up. Yesno, I can. I dont want to. But I can. No.
Molly: (goes out of the room) Hey! Guys, this is Tabatha (they kiss on the lips in a romantic way). (to Ross) I'll see you tomorrow.
Chandler: Yknow what? Were not sad, were not sad, were just not 21 anymore. Yknow? Im 29 years old, damnit! And I want to sit in a comfortable chair, and watch television and go to bed at a reasonable hour!
Ross: Hi! (Rushes over to shake her hand instantly.)
(Camera pans back to Rachel)
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
Joey: (to Chandler and Monica) Hey, does anybody else feel bad about Ross?
CHANDLER: (to taxi driver) Just practicing. You're good. Carry on.
Ross: Well, I just made these two things uhm... cheeks. And then I split this to make ears.
JOEY: Well, I can't use these forever. I mean, let's face it, they're no friend to the environment.
[Ross gets up to go tell his parents.]
[Cut to later, Joey is returning from talking to Mr. Treeger.]
[Scene: A Street: Monica and Phoebe are walking to a newsstand.]
Ross: Okay, flight 421 to Paris. I don't see it, do you see it?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is repacking the furniture into boxes to return it.]
Phoebe: No, but lets come back to that later!
Joey: (to Lorraine) We can't do that.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
(Someone knocks the door, Joey goes to open it and Ross is on the other side)
Rachel: Oh okay, Ill fix that to. Whats her e-mail address?
CHANDLER: But hey, it's courtside.� The cheerleaders are going to be right in fr. . . (Pause)� That's not the way to convince you.
Chandler: Okay. (Pause) You wont believe what Monicas older brother just said to me!
Ross: You didn't want to share your tomatoes, tomatoes are very important to you.
Rachel: Honey, that's very sweet, it just seems to me though, that if two people love each other and trust each other, like we do, there's no reason to be jealous. (she kisses him)
RACH: Maybe it was just the kind of story where you have to be there.
Rachel: Fine. (on phone) Hi! Yes, Id like to order a large pizza.
Chandler: Im sorry, were just kinda excited because we finally have a couple to hang out with.
Gunther: (to Chandler) Someone in there?
Chandler: Okay, well, then, I-I have to go to the bathroom.
(Joey begins to contemplate his ill fortune.)
PHOEBE: Oh no, ooh, ooh, did somebody forget to use a coaster?
Chandler: Im gonna ask Monica to marry me.
Joey: I did that too! They wouldnt give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again theyd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them Im missing a ring!"
Ross: Oh. (Rachel and he start to stand up.)
Monica: Alright, we have to talk.
Chandler: Well, it still has to go, right?
Chandler: (to Mon) She's right, you shouldn't have bought tickets just for us ...
Robert: (to Joey) Hey!
Ross: (To Phoebe) Hey Pheebs! How's that uh, vegetarian pizza working out for ya? You and those vegetables have a real thing going on, huh?
Ross: Somebody seems to be missing being the hostess.
Ross: None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That�s not the point. Ok? The point is you...you are the oneWho moved on and didn�t tell anyone!
Monica: (suspiciously) Okay. (Exits to carry out Phoebes wishes.)
Phoebe: (holding a dinosaur) Okay, dinosaur attack!! Quick, everybody into the house!! Ahh-ahh! (the dinosaur starts attacking the house. She starts to bark like a dog.) Roof! Rrroof-roof-roof!
(They walk passed each other, Ross towards the door, Chandler towards the counter, suddenly they turn around to face each other)
Chandler: Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else.
Ross: Marcel! What've you done to him?
Joey: (whispering) No, I really have to pee.
Phoebe: Yeah, Ill do that. So who gets to be yours?
(Rachel stands there for a moment, starting to cry. Then gasps and runs over and hugs him. While hugging her, Ross tries to find the Does it? part in the letter.)