words in movies
Jay Leno: (On TV to Dick Clark) Is there any entertainment there? What are people doing?
Chandler: (deadpan, standing next to Monica) We're very happy for you.
Chandler: We wanted to kiss at midnight, but nobody else is going to so y'know
(They try to stop him, not sure of what he's planning. He ignores them and goes to talk to Ross.)
Joey: Pheebs! Pheebs! Ross wants to kiss you at midnight!
Chandler: (To Monica) Happy New Year!
Ross: (To Phoebe) Happy New Year, Pheebs!
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
Chandler: Do you want us to leave the room, or?
Phoebe: Ooh! That's a good one! Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.
Chandler: That's good one too, Pheebs. Now all you have to do is find a planeload of people who's resolution is to plummet to their deaths.
Phoebe: Maybe your resolution is to not make fun of your friends, especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free on their own plane.
Joey: All right, my New Year's resolution is to learn how to play the guitar.
Phoebe: Do you want me to teach you? I'm a great teacher.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Monica: Hey Rach, maybe your resolution should be to umm, gossip less.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is talking to a beautiful woman as Chandler and Joey enter.]
Ross: Okay! (She leaves.) (To Chandler and Joey.) Hey!
Joey: Oh really! Where? Somewhere funny I'd bet! (Chandler is straining to keep quiet as Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Hornswoggle? (To Chandler) Ooh, this must be killing you.
Phoebe: Okay. (Joey tries to take the guitar.) Oh no-no-no, you don't touch the guitar! First you learn here, (Points to her head.) then you learn here. (Points to the guitar.)
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
Chandler: What an interesting approach to guitar instruction. Y'know some might find it amusing, I myself find it regular.
Phoebe: Give me your hands. (He does and she smells his left hand.) Strings. Gimme it! (He gives her his right hand and she smells it as well.) Pick. Do you want to learn to play guitar?
Ben: Auntie Monica!! (He runs to hug her.)
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
Ross: Oh see, I-I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store that always smells so good and I thought to myself, "Wow, (To Chandler) I never really owned a good smelling pair of pants before."
Ross: What, to blind my child?
Monica: No! To take more pictures of all of us together. I mean I really think it's the best resolution because everyone will enjoy the pictures.
Joey: Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well. (Does a chord and Monica starts taking pictures of him and Phoebe. They both start to strike a pose with the excessive amount of pictures that Monica takes.)
Ross: (talking to himself) My God! These pants are burning up! (He's still wearing the leather pants.) (She snuggles closer.) Oh come on, she wants to snuggle now! What is she trying to kill me? It's like a volcano in here! (Out loud.) Are you hot?
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
(He goes to pull up his pants, but can't seem to get them past his knees. He frantically tries to pull them up to no avail. Panic sets in.)
Phoebe: Tiger! (Joey moves his hand in an attempt to do the chord, in fact he does it with each name.) Dragon! Iceberg!! (He fails.) Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
Phoebe: Yeah, well, y'know maybe you just need to try a little harder!
Joey: (looking in the Yellow Pages) Look, maybe I need to try a real teacher! Right here! Here! Andy Cooper, he teaches guitar and look ooh, there's a nice picture of him with a little kid and THE KID'S GOT A GUITAR!!!!!! (Storms out.)
Phoebe: Fine! You go learn from your qualified instructor! But don't come crying to me when everyone's sick and tired of hearing you play Bad, Bad Leroy Brown!!
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Ross: Yeah, okay, hold on! (He puts the phone down and proceeds to spread a large amount of powder on his legs and makes another attempt at pulling up his pants. It doesn't work, and without picking up the phone leans down to it.) (Almost in tears.) They're not coming on man.
(Ross proceeds to apply copious amounts of the lotion on his legs. He literally starts spraying the back of his legs with the lotion, and as he applies some to his butt he makes a happy face like he enjoyed that sensation. After using about half the bottle he again tries to pull up his pants, but at the first sign of resistance, his hand slips off of the pants and hits him in the forehead.)
Joey: (To Ross) Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out. (He hangs up the phone and strands Ross in the bathroom.)
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Joey: Oh no, no-no-no-no! I don't want to know!
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Joey: And you're not supposed to be gossiping!!
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Joey: I'm not listening to you!
(Chandler seeing that Joey has his eyes closed sneaks over and picks up the chicken. The chicken starts flapping it's wings in protest as Chandler holds the chicken inches from Joey's face. Joey stops yelling and upon opening his eyes sees the chicken, screams, and falls to the ground in horror.)
[Scene: Elizabeth's apartment; Elizabeth is inquiring as to the delay in Ross's exit from her bathroom.]
Elizabeth: Ross, umm, you've been in there for a long time. I'm starting to get kinda freaked out.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there to apologize to Phoebe.]
Phoebe: No, I can't talk to you! I don't have a fancy ad in the Yellow Pages!
Joey: Look, Pheebs, I just, I wanna apologize for, for saying that your method was stupid and-and maybe ask you to be my teacher again. And-and I promise, I won't touch a guitar until you say I'm ready. (After a short pause she hands him her guitar.) You really think I'm ready?
Joey: Wow! Cool! (He takes the guitar, stands up, and goes to play a note. However, while strumming it, he knocks it out of his hands and it bounces off the table and lands on the floor. Phoebe just stares at the guitar.)
Ross: This year was supposed to be great! But, it's only the second day and I'm a loser with stupid leather pants that don't even fit!
Ross: Look at me! (Chandler squeaks in an attempt not to make fun of him.)
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
Phoebe: Okay, I'm gonna go too. I'm gonna go to the airport. I figure if I hang around there long enough, someone's bound to leave one of those planes unattended.
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Joey: Now? You want me to go over there now?
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Joey: Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen (Phoebe returns and interrupts them.)
Phoebe: Hey! It's raining. I don't want to fly in the rain. So
Joey: Oh, I am going to go for a walk in the rain.
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Rachel: How about you guys? (Points to Phoebe and Joey.)
Felicity: Um-hum. Talk New York to me again.
Chandler: No. When it comes to sweets, hes surprisingly strict.
Ross: Yknow what I think it is? I think youve made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesnt want to leave.
Monica: Well, she corned me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?!
Monica: No-no-no, that's a video-phone. But hey guys you're not supposed to be here, so please, do not touch anything.
Woman: Well you can have the suite if you want. We dont care about where we stay. Were here to celebrate our love together. We dont have to get free stuff. We just want to be together.
Phoebe: Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? (Mimicking a heartbeat and tapping her chest.) Phoebe, Phoebe.
Joey: Oh, uh, ok. Right this way. All the other pregnant women seem to be goin' in here.
Monica: Oh, well dont take it to the same place you took the stereo, cause theyve had that thing for over a week.
Phoebe: Oh you did? (To Rachel) He did it! He did it!
Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.
Chandler: Well yeah! But now that I know that youre having these thoughts, Im back to panic, anxiety, and uh Im definitely gonna need some kind of sports drink.
Rachel: Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!
Monica: (opening the door) (to Pete) Hey!
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
[Cut to another part of the building. We see Marcel jump in through a window and run down some stairs, then Chandler and Joey come down from the upper floor without noticing.]
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me, Im sorry, Im gonna have to call you back, Ive got a Schemp in my office. (hangs up) (to Ross) What are you doing?
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Monica: Didnt your dad used to call you Pumpkin?
Ross: (To Rachel) So umm, where are the other guys?
Ross: And, I dont know, if it starts to rain
Monica: Oh! Do you need me to go with you?
Janine: Well they said I should bring someone. (To Joey) Do you wanna be my dance partner?
Joey: Well, I'm starting to make good money on the show and I'm thinking... I should probably do something with it.
Phoebe: Now if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
Phoebe: (To Rachel and Ross) Well, do you think I should propose?
(Rachel tries to hide her alarm, but she squirms in her chair.)
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
Rachel: But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, yknow you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
Charlie: Actually the wet season is June to December.
(Phoebe uses the remote to stop the Spanish by turning off the television.)
Monica: (to Phoebe) Hey, arent you up next?
Joey: One pregnant woman at a time, please! I just want you to be okay.
Chandler: You know what's not funny? Male Pattern Baldness (Monica stretches her neck to look behind Zack's head and then gives Chandler an "ok" sign)
Rachel: (To Monica) Hey!
Joey: Fine, you want to get the birds, get the birds!
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
Phoebe: Oh my God! I killed him! I killed another one! And this curse is getting stronger too, to bring down something that big.
Ross: You go get em. (to Monica) What did I do to you? Did I hurt you in some way?
Phoebe: (gets up and starts to leave) We want the last six years back!!
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Monica: Yeah. But of course we had to update it a little bit. (To Ross) Hey, by the way, great thinking about catching me!
Janice: Oh no! Where to? (Gasps) Too Paris?
Mischa: (to Monica) So I was wondering....
Phoebe: I would like to make a pledge. I would like to donate $200.
[Scene: Mrs. Verhoevens Apartment, Ross is back to inquire about the elder Verhoevens health or lack there of.]
Chandler: Well, its just the reason that Im asking is because I kind of eh, uh, I was unable toI mean I really wanted too, but I couldnt . There huhhmm, there-there was an incident.
Rachel: I was laughing! You made me laugh! (Monica and Rachel start to squabble)
Ross: The kid...? (To the kid) Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck.
JOEY: Yeah, there's just one thing that might be kind've a problem. See, I, uh, had to kiss this guy.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are helping Monica learn how to roller skate by rolling her between themselves.]
Chandler: Okay. (he starts to leave)
(They move closer to together and Phoebe hesitantly puts her hand on Chandler's hip. He puts his hand on her left hip but then decides to put his hand on her left hip. Phoebe then grabs his butt. Chandler goes for her breast, but stops and puts his hand on her shoulder.)
Ken: That�s right. Is it true, that the reason you are here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?
Joey: What?! He got to do it at your first wedding!
Ross: (to Monica) You wanna wander in the hall? (to Ben) Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the festival of lights?
Joey: Well, it's like, last night, I couldn't do the thing that usually makes me great. So I had to do all this other stuff. And the response I got... man, oh man, it was like a ticker tape parade!
Joshua: Oh yeah, yeah uh, its down the hall and uh, second door to your left.
MR. GREENE: What? The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday?
Phoebe: Yeah, and what a great way to say, "I secretly love you, roommate's girlfriend!"
Ross: Can I talk to you for a minute?
Chandler: Oh, you get used to it.
Monica: (To Rachel) Wow! It's really red! You should go see my eye doctor.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, were off.
Chandler: (reading the list) Drop off my dry cleaning. Pick up my vitamins. Teach me how to spell vitamins. Wear in my new jeans.
Ross: This couch, is cut in half! I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half!
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Rachel: Well would you like me to lie down on the table?
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is humming the Star Wars theme. Rachel enters, with her hair done up like Princess Leia's, and wearing a belly dancer's outfit, to simulate the gold bikini thing.]
Chandler: But we're not ready to tell yet!
Chandler: (To Monica) Happy plane-aversary.
Joey: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. Ill cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.
Ross: Yes. I find it to be something of a conversation piece.
Phoebe: (to Monica, whos entering) Hey, youre early.
Rachel: (entering) I didnt ask you to do it!
Ross: Dude, we got to talk.
Phoebe: So umm, Im gonna get us some drinks. (To Rachel) Would you help me out?
Ross: (To the still half asleep Professor) Oh my God! You really want me to be the keynote speaker? Thank you! (hugs him whilst still on his lap)
Rachel: Okay no way, you cannot use that to get the cute guy and the last blueberry muffin.
Monica: Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle.
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Barry: See, about a month ago, I wanted to hurt you. More than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I'm an orthodontist.
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
Ross: The flirting! Aren't you supposed to be going out with, I don't know hmm, let's say my sister?!
Rachel: Uh- which one of us are you talking to there, Barr?
Mrs. Geller: And the next time you cater for me, there will be nothing but ice in the freezer. (She starts to bite her nails)
(Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe start to pick through the lasagne as there's a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
(Rachel feeds something to Paolo. He eats it and licks her hand)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Mike is blowing a note from his beer bottle.� Ross stares off to the side.)
Rachel: Well, can I talk to you for a sec?
Ross: Okay, okay! Im going. Im going. (goes across the hall to knock on another door.)
(She turns around and throws the bouquet to Phoebe.)
Ross: No, no I dont want to do anything to you. All right? I just want to tell you that Im not mad at you and and that I certainly do not hate you. I just, I just came here to say that. (Starts to leave.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Yeah, see, I can't pull of baby-doll can I?
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Phoebe: Okay. Okay. IOkay umm this I-I sent my friend Joey in here to find out stuff about you. Umm yknow, if it helps you came off great. A lot better than Im coming off right now.
Joey: (Checks to see if shes drooling on his shirt.) Okay. Okay, okay, hey. (Lays her down and covers her with a blanket.) There we go, lets get your feet up there. (Looks at her) Good night, Kate. Sweet dreams. (Picks up a garbage can) Im gonna put this can right here in case you have to hurl.
Monica: You used to have carpet.