words in movies
Phoebe: Hes awfully short and I think hes talking to himself. And to be completely honest, hes not that good in bed.
Rachel: Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean its like every guy I seeI mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean normally thats not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the way Im feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Rachel: Really?! So this has happened to you?
Rachel: Wow! This explains so much! Last weekend, I went from store to store sitting on Santas lap.
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout of Evander Holyfield from a Foot Locker.
Mona: Hey! (To Joey) Hey!
Ross: Oh great! Hey-hey Joey, do you want to check out pictures of me and Mona ice skating?
Mona: Oh yeah, probably at the end. (Flips to the end.) Oh my God! He only took pictures of my breasts!
Joey: Im missin picture time?! (Jumps over to look, Ross glares at him and he retreats.)
Phoebe: (sitting down next to Ross) Yknow she has a face Ross!
Ross: (pause) Together? Like-like to people?
Mona: Oh, I gotta get to work. So call me later?
Joey: (To Ross) Congratulations! You just got married!
Doug: Sorry? Finally chewed my leg out of that bear trap. Hey, congratulations to you guys though!
Doug: Oh well, give it time. So the divorce, the marriage, weve got a lot to celebrate. How about we all go out to dinner tomorrow night?
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, theres a knock on the door and he opens it to Mona.]
Ross: Well, we-we havent said that to each other yet, but I guess its okay to say it to other people.
Nurse: Just so you know, Dr. Long cant be here today, she was called to the hospital, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you.
Dr. Schiff: Uh, I dont have a wife or girlfriend, but I do like to ski.
Rachel: Oh, I love to ski! How amazing is this?!
Dr. Schiff: Okay then, would you like to lie down on the table?
Rachel: Well would you like me to lie down on the table?
Monica: Oh yeah, the Evander Holyfield phase. Oh man you were so hard up you practically came on to me.
Ross: Yeah, were not just doing a card! Yknow, she-she also wants to have the conversation about where the relationship is going.
Ross: I know! I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation?! Huh? I mean no self-respecting man would ask a woman, "So, where is this going?"
Ross: Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? Im not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. Im horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Yknow, something that says were moving forward without having to talk about it.
Monica: Like asking her to move in with you?
Phoebe: Give her a key to your apartment.
Chandler: Oh uh, as it turns out, we cant do it. Monica has to work.
Doug: Bing my boy, were gonna get you over this. Now heres the plan, grab your coat, were going to a strip club.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, Monica would freak. (Doug looks at him.) But to hell with that bitch.
Ross: Well, well to sum up, were having fun, you look young.
Ross: But thats not enough. So So heres a key to my apartment. (Hands her his key.)
Rachel: You gave her a key to your apartment?!
Phoebe: So umm, Im gonna get us some drinks. (To Rachel) Would you help me out?
Phoebe: Umm, hes here to have sex with you.
Monica: Rachel umm, I was just talking to this guy and I think hell have sex with you.
Rachel: No! I do not care what my hormones are doing, I am not going to just do it with some random guy!
Phoebe: Fine! Then you tell Roger because he was really looking forward to this! (Phoebe exits.)
Doug: No, its a wedding ring. You gotta get rid of it. Were gonna go to the East River right now and throw it in there!
Mona: I dont understand. You-you give me a key to your apartment and then you change the lock.
Mona: Umm, I-I thought we were moving forward and now youre-youre sending me all these mixed signals. What are you trying to tell me?
Ross: Im trying to tell you I made you a mix tape.
Chandler: It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldnt give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird!
Chandler: Yknow what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like Its a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Rachel: Yes. Hi, Id like to order a pizza. Okay, can I ask you a question? Is-is the cute blond guy delivering tonight? Very Ambercrombie & Fitch. (Joey enters.) Ill call you back.
Rachel: Oh you really, you really just dont want to hear about it.
Rachel: Yeah. So yknow, I have all of these feelings and I dont know what to do about them, because I cant date like a normal person, which is fine because I dont need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night. Just sex, yknow? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what hes doing. For just one great night, I mean is that really so hard to find. (Looks at Joey.) So how was your day?
Joey: Yeah, I gotta, I gotta go to my room too.
Rachel: (entering) I didnt ask you to do it!
Rachel: And so bad. I dont even know what youre talking about because I didnt ask you to do anything!
Phoebe: Hi. Listen, Im sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasnt right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something that I think youll really enjoy. (Goes into the hallway and returns carrying the Evander Holyfield cutout.) Now, this is just a loan. Okay? Im gonna, Im gonna want him back. So (Looks at him longingly) Im gonna go now. (Exits.) (Pause) (Entering) Im sorry, I thought I could do it and I cant! (She grabs the cutout and exits for good.)
PHOEBE: Oh, alright, that's it, now I have to go see him.
Ross: Oh, Pheebs, Im sorry, Ive got to go. Ive got Lamaze class.
Rachel: Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help.
JOEY: What happened to the foosball?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica has finally given up on her search to find what the light switch does and is now flicking it on and off aimlessly.]
Joanna: I seem to have had a slight office mishap. Could you please get the key off the back of the door for me.
Phoebe: Listen. Listen. (She starts to play and sing.) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Pete: (to Monica, by the door) So ah, we on for tomorrow?
Joey: Youre right. Youre right. I-Ill go tell her now before Ross finds out and Ill be gentle. I can do that. I am a gentle person. Oh, by the way. Two people screwing in there (Points to the closet Chandler and Monica were in) if you want to check that out.
Chandler: Be right there sweetums. (Monica leaves. To Joey.) A totally different situation.
Rachel: Well, I don't know, you guys figure it out, I got to put Emma down for a nap.
Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.
Monica: Oh! It was our pleasure. We are so much enjoying getting to know you.
Phoebe: Congratulations! I didnt want to say anything in front of Joey cause I didnt know if he knew yet.
Joey: Wow! (Back to reading the scene.) Well then Ill just have to carry you.
(Rachel looks bored. At this point, Rossa figment of Rachel's imagination shows up on the balcony and starts talking to her.)
Tag: But Im not gay. And I especially wouldnt want you to think I was gay.
(We hear Tag scream out in the hallway and jump into view of the open door on the scooter. He gives a hearty thumbs up to the group and rides off, with Joey following breathlessly behind.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are preparing to leave for the funeral.]
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her.
Rachel: Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. Zelner called me and he said we'll do everything we can to get you back. And that I should thank some Ron... I don't even know what department that guy's in.
Ross: (in a mocking voice)Uh...sure I do, and I also wanna be King of my own country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart.
DUNCAN: Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this. I'm straight.
CHAN: [slowly lifts coffee cup to his mouth] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [slowly sets the cup back down] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [Joey intercepts the cup and puts it down for him]. She's insane, the woman is insane. It's before work, it's after work, it's during work. She's got me doing butt clenches at my desk. And now, they won't bring me my mail anymore.
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
Mike: Look. Phoebe, I-I love you. Very much. But I never want to get married again.
CHANDLER: Yeah I just... wanted to call and say hey.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey!
Phoebe: No, no maybe cause its harder to raise them, and the added expense, and
Rachel: Chandler, this is not addressed to you. This is addressed to Mrs. Braverman downstairs. (Gasping) Thief.
Chandler: Yeah, its like someone literally wrote down my worst nightmare and then charged me $32 to see it!
Rachel: (surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? (looks around for a spot)
PHOEBE: Is anyone else starting to really like him?
Rachel: I just don't want to be alone tonight.
(Rachel leans over to look at him.)
Phoebe: Yep, and that's why we don't invite you to play.
Dr. Franzblau: All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need(reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it) Excuse me, could I have this?
Joey: Okay. (Reading.) "It's a typical New York City apartment. Two guys are hanging out." Ross (Points to him.)
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
[Scene: The airport, the Yemen Express counter, Chandler is still trying to get rid of Janice.]
Phoebe: Oh, I should go, too. Oh, now... tomorrow do you guys wanna share a cab to the airport or should Mike and I just meet you there.
Joey: Hey, dont get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes!
Monica: Im making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding. Now, that way I can be prepared.
Joey: (going over and picking up the rod) Thats all right. Hey you guys, you know whats going to be great about the fishing trip this year? When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, "Joey, what are you doing with your life?" stuff. I can say, "Well, Im doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad. What are you doing with your life?"
Monica: All right, thats it, were going to the emergency room.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Joey are there looking at pictures from the trip to London.]
Ross: (To Phoebe and Mike) I can't believe you guys aren't going to be able to get married today.
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Monica is getting Chandler ready for his half of the plan.]
Phoebe: Hmm, did you talk to Gary about the moving in thing?
Chandler: All right, I have to get that, but no-no. (answering phone) Hello? (listens) (happily) Hi! Yeah listen, I'm, I'm in need of a stripper and I was told that you do that. (listens) Let me ask you this, what, what do you do for the extra hundred? (listens) So would I, would I have to provide the grapes?
Chandler: C'mon, I'll show you to my room. ...That sounds so weird when it's not followed by "No thanks, it's late."
Phoebe: (getting up) Well, I hate to eat and run, but
Rachel: Honey, maybe we should take you to a doctor.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the brides maid test.]
Ross: Ah, well all go. (motions to Chandler) Come on. (the guys leave)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, its just Monica and Chandler dancing to Wonderful Tonight on the Slowhand album by Eric Clapton. And you can buy that album from the CFSI, just click on the CDNow link.]
Joey: I'm gonna say someone I'm gonna have sex with. (the girl leaves and Phoebe goes toward the couch) (to Phoebe) Hey!
[Scene: Chandlers gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]
Joey: Dude, you dont have to brag! We got nothing here!!
Monica: (also hugs the wall) Yeah, we had a great time, thank you! (walks to Phoebe)
Monica: People are supposed to wanna hang out here!
Monica: Well, it was good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that?
Ross: Okay, y'know what, lets just cut to the chase here. Okay? Heidi, which of my boys do you like?
Sandy: No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home... Although if you don't mind telling me, what was your problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future.
Monica: Yknow what? Im gonna make this up to you. I promised you a stripper (turns on the radio), and youre gonna get a stripper. (She starts to strip.)
Issac: (to Chandler and Joey) Can I help you?
Rachel: Okay, you hard worker! Ill remember to put that in your evaluation.
Joey: Hey Rach, so can I sing happy birthday to you now?
(Gunther tries to swoop in to ask Rachel out.)
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Joey: (In near tears, realizes she is right) I hate to admit it, but you're probably right. How did you get to be so smart?
Ross: Yes. And another time after that. Boy Im getting hungry! Hey Joey, have you ever been so hungry on a date that when a girl goes to the bathroom you eat some of her food?
Rachel: Whoa! My God! So what, you all just joined together to hate me?! Who else was in this club?
[cut to Billy and Robin]
Monica: Oh umm, that's because I just wanted to y'know walk in on me and Chandler while we were, y'know, doing it all night. Will you excuse me for just a second?
PHOEBE: Alright, I'm sorry but these people needed me. They work hard all week, it's Saturday night, they deserve to have a little fun. Go.
Phoebe: After he passed out, we put the sand around him to keep him warm.
Ross: Come on. You gotta help me figure out what to do. Okay?
Ross: Okay, quick and painful. (Starts to cork the wine)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has just broken up with Julie and is about to get with Rachel.]
Phoebe: (to Joey) Are you gonna be embarrassed going up there having nothing prepared?
Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue... [Scene: Monica's Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.]
Ross: Hey. Rachel, I-I-I've been wanting to tell you something for a while now and I really, I just have to get it out.
Phoebe: Well, this doesnt have to be so sad though. Yknow? Maybe instead of just thinking about how much youre gonna miss each other, you should like think of the things youre not gonna miss.
(The women all clap and start to leave as Ross comes up to the instructor. Apparently he was hiding in the back.)
Earl: Well I only have one thing to do today. (He looks at his board in his office that reads, "Todays Tasks: KILL SELF.") I guess I could push it back.
Rachel: I have the best job in the entire world! The most adorable guy came over today, and I got to dress him up all day!
Ross: (on phone) No-no-no, thats great! Ill be there Monday. And thank you again! (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up) (To All) Umm, that was the head of the Paleontology department at N uh, Y, uh U!
Chandler: (to Joey) Well hes probably mad after you called him this morning to borrow his goggles.
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
Ross: Im sorry, but we have to have some boundaries! My God, Im dying.
Rachel: Good. Although yknow, he-hes a private guy. Yknow, I wish I could get him to open up a little bit, share some feelings.
Ross: Hi! (To Mrs. Bing) Hi! (Mr. Bing starts rubbing his arm.) Hi. Has umm, anyone seen Chandler?
Chandler: Monica. (Goes to talk to her.)
Monica: Hey. Oh good-good youre here! All right, I figured it out. Im gonna take two tables of eight, Im gonna add your parents, and Im gonna turn them into three tables of six. Okay? And I called the caterer; I added two extra meals, we are good to go!
Chandler: Goodnight. (Goes to his room.)
Rachel: So you eh, you talked to Joey?
Chandler: I don't know. Maybe he hooked up with that hot girl he was talking to.
Director: I think his butt would like to get this shot before lunch. Once again, rolling... water working... and action....and cut. What was that?