words in movies
Monica: Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape.
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
Phoebe: (softly) Sorry. (Camera pans back to Monica, still on phone)
Monica: Aunt Syl, I did this as a favor, I am not a caterer. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas? (listens to Aunt Syl on phone, looks shocked) Nice talk, Aunt Syl. (in New York accent) You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?
(Camera pans back to group in living room)
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
(Camera pans to Ross, looking dejected)
Chandler: (to Ross) Ah, it's just a weekend, big deal!
Ross: Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling, huh? Shouldn't it be...(makes flinging motions with hands) flung by now?
(Camera pans back to Rachel)
(Camera pans to Ross, holding his stomach)
Ross: ...nauseous, I'm physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? (pauses, looks suddenly inspired) I could call immigration!
Chandler: Ok, you're going to have to stop that, forever!
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, there's a knock on the door and Carol answers it to Ross.]
Carol: Don't you want to know about the sex?
Carol: Do you want to know?
Ross: No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to know, absolutely not. I think, you know, I think you should know until you look down there, and say, oop, there it is! (pauses) Or isn't...
Carol: Yes, we certainly do, it's going to be...
Ross: (flailing arms in protest) Oh, hey hey hey, ho ho ho, hello, guy who doesn't want to know, standing right here!
Ross: Ok, what, what...ok, what did we think it was going to be?
Ross: (interrupts) No, no, no I don't want to know, don't want to know. Ok, you know, I should probably, I should probably just go.
Ross: (on intercom) Uh, never mind, I don't want to know. (Carol and Susan laugh)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler use their knees as a table to support the lasagna.]
Chandler: Ok, so it's just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?
Joey: How'd you get to that?
Chandler: Well, let's just say the impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination.
Chandler: Well, it's a pretty big commitment, I mean, what if one of us wants to move out?
[Scene: Phoebe's Massage Parlor, Phoebe's assistant is telling her about the changes to her schedule.]
Phoebe's Assistant: We've got a couple changes in your schedule. Your 4:00 herbal massage has been pushed back to 4:30 and Miss Somerfield canceled her 5:30 shiatsu.
Phoebe's Assistant: Oh, here comes your 3:00. I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum (walks out, Paolo enters)
Phoebe: Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked!
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
Monica: Carol called me to thank me for the lasagna, I asked, she told me.
[Cut back to Central Perk.]
[Cut back to Central Perk.]
Ross: You have to tell her! You have to tell her! It's your moral obligation, as a friend, as a woman, I think it's a feminist issue! Guys? Guys? (waiting for guys to chime in)
Chandler: Oh, yeah, you have to tell her.
Joey: Will you pick one, just pick one! Here, how about that one? (points to a table)
Joey: Fine, you want to get the birds, get the birds!
Rachel: No, these aren't all my suitcases. (picks up small blue suitcase and shows to Phoebe) This one's Paolo's.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies
(The camera pans back to reveal Joey and Chandler's new foosball table.)
Monica: So how does this work, you going to balance the plates on these little guys' heads?
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
(Phoebe scoots her chair over to Rachel and hugs her)
Chandler: What are you still doing here? She just broke up with the guy, it's time for you to swoop in!
[Cut to inside the apartment.]
Paolo: Uh, I am, uh, to say good-bye.
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Ross: Paolo, I-I just want to tell you and I think I speak for everyone when I say... (shuts door in his face and walks away)
[Cut to the balcony, Ross has just climbed through the window.]
Rachel: I am so sick of guys. I don't want to look at another guy, I don't want to think about another guy, I don't even want to be near another guy. (Ross crosses arms)
[Cut to inside the apartment, Rachel and Ross are entering.]
Ross: See, Rach, uh, see, I don't think that swearing off guys altogether is the answer. I really don't. I think that what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process.
Rachel: No. I just need to be by myself for a while, you know? I just got to figure out what I want
Ross: Uh, no, no, see, because not...not all guys are going to be a Paolo.
Rachel: No, I know, I know, and I'm sure your little boy is not going to grow up to be one.
Chandler: (to Joey) One more game?
CHANDLER: Yeah. So do we need to hug here or. . .
Rachel: Okay, I need a date! (runs to her bedroom)
Chandler: I'd love to stay, but I have eh... (points at the cup) got a hot date... (starts to leave)
Joey: (sees Rachel) Oh, uh, hey Rach. I uh, I was just coming over here to uh Oh wait, I dont have to lie to you, you dont live here anymore. Uh, Im eating their food. What are you doing?
Phoebe: (Under her breath) God, I woke the beast. Sorry. (To Monica) I was wrong obviously, I justI misspoke. It's okay.
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, hes snoring again and Chandler is there to roll him over.]
Monica: Thank you. All right, now who else do you want to invite?
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, Rachel and Monica are arriving to talk to Ross after the lecture, but are there early.]
Kid: No! No! (They start to fight over it.)
Ross: (on tape) I mean I I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasnt sure if you wanted to.
Ross: Green. To the green.
Lowell: Speaking for my people, I'd have to say no. By the way, your friend Brian from Payroll, he is.
Ross: Then dont. Stay here. Just dont go so soon to London, just one more day.
[Cut to the inside of the apartment.]
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
Phoebe: Umm, look we dont, we dont really know each other so it would be really easy to just forget about this, but there seems to be something between us. And I dont know about you but that doesnt happen to me a lot.
[Scene: Chandler's office. Chandler is asleep in his chair holding a paper in one hand and a pen in the other. Joey walks in, waking up Chandler who covers by pretending to write on the paper.]
PHOEBE: Yes, I was going to incorporate that. Oh good, here's Monica, she'll have something nice to say.
Cecilia: And if it were true, how dare you come to me ask me for tips about a character that Ive been playing for 20 yearsIll give you a tip! (She throws her drink in his face.)
Joey: No, come on Ross! (He grabs his bag so he cant leave) Look, Ross, we have to get past this.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in one of the black chairs, and turns to face the other one.]
Chandler: Y'know, we don't have to watch this. Weekend At Bernie's is on Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax.
Monica: I just can't believe you're in here. I mean, what am I gonna do without you? Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me? Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus?
Mr. Geller: Happy birthday, sweetie! Give us a hug! (Starts to get up.)
Joey: Oh yeah? (To Phoebe) Hi, Ken Adams, nice to meet you.
PHOEBE: Ok, I talked to the vet, people are so nice upstate. Anyway, he said that the little fella's gonna be ok and I can pick him up tomorrow.
(She puts her leg up on the chair and removes this huge knife from her boot to open the box with. The guys are shocked at the knife's existence.)
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
(Phoebe goes to leave the room, but the door is locked.)
Ross: No-no-no! Only if I promise never to see Rachel again.
Joey: Hey, dont start judging me! (To Rachel) Huh? Youre the one whos in love with her assistant! (To Phoebe) Huh? And you, youre the one having the affair with the guy who keeps the pigeons on the roof!
Ross: Well, it turns out that she is going to Daytona for spring break woo-hoo. That means, that means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girls bodies, waking up next to people you dont even know
Rachel: Just think, in a couple of years we get to turn into them.
Monica: You have to go to London!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is waiting for Janice to arrive, and is angrily fllipping through a magazine.]
Joey: Good, and hey! My treat. (He turns to go into his bedroom then stops.) But that's only because you're not eating anything, right?
The Salesman: So, what do you say, Joey? You get the whole set of encyclopedias for twelve hundred dollars, which works out to just 50 bucks a book!
Phoebe: Hey!! (The bucket starts smoking.) The charity's on fire! Help! (Yet another guy walks by carrying a cup, which Phoebe grabs.) Oh good! Thank you, I need that. (She throws onto the smoldering fire. Suddenly the bucket erupts in flames.) Whoa! What is that?! (She sniffs the cup.) (To the guy.) It's nine o'clock in the morning!
Monica: So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments on others?
Rachel: Okay well Ross! Stop it please! Wait a minute! (Motions for him to follow her lead, but he angrily shakes his head no. So she pokes him.)
Joey: Totally! I would love to spend New Years with you.
Joey: How did she get me to settle down?
Joey: Oh, you said it Mike. (Rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!
Monica: All right, I'll try not to.
Rachel: Go Monana! Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream. I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up. (Exits)
Phoebe: (to Joey) Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler?
Ross: Huh. Sounds like Mark Something wants to have some sex.
Ross: (sees Joey) Hey. (walks into the living room) Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second?
Rachel: I know, but all that work youre doing to get it ready, I just (goes into her bedroom.)
Rachel: Yes! Id love to! Have her come by the office.
Phoebe: Hey! It's raining. I don't want to fly in the rain. So
Rachel: Oh yeah? Startin to feel her again there are we?
Benjamin: (to Ross) Thank you! (to Charlie). I can't believe that you chose this restaurant! Do you remember the night?
[Scene: The subway, Joey spots a gorgeous woman waiting. He goes up to her.]
Ross: (noticing a beautiful woman moving in down the street) Well hello! Shes cute! Should we uh, go try to talk to her?
The Casting Director: Well, the director thinks youre really right for the part and wants to meet you tomorrow.
Dr. Baldhara: Well, if he's up against a jungle cat or an animal with horns, you've got to give the little guy something. Otherwise it's just cruel.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no Its okay, I mean Ilook Rach, I know I scared you off with that whole Naked Thursdays thing, but we dont have to do that!
Chandler: (laughing) Okay we have to do something about your breath.
Chloe: (seeing Ross enter) Hey, its the dinosaur guy. (runs over to Ross) Hi, Ross.
CHANDLER: (thinks, then turns to Monica) I climb down the fire escape and you can't put that in the closet?
Chandler: No, I just had to get a picture of this.
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Joey: Well, I ain't gonna say no to that.
Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?
Joey: If you ask me, as long as you got this job, youve got nothing pushing you to get another one. You need the fear.
Richard: Could you uh, could you lower your script? I need to see your face so I can uh, play off your reaction.
Joey: (grabbing her) Here we go! Here we go! (Starts to pull her away from Kash.)
Paul: (barely glancing at her) No. What ever happened to that little dude. (Pause) So full of dreams
Chandler: (Quietly, to the others) That guy's going home with a note!
Ross: Oh, Im actually on my way to tell her right now. Yeah, shes been away all week visiting her parents, but shell be cool. I mean, shes been so supportive. She-she even got the baby a tiny T-shirt that says, Fossils are my friends.
Monica: (laughs) Youre still so funny. Youre so funny. (To Phoebe) What do I do?
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
Monica: So! So we've got to go upstairs and have a lot of sex to prove them wrong!
Rachel: man sharks. I always knew there was something weird about that dude. But you promised to love him no matter what.
Monica: I just wanted to say that I hope you do have sex tonight and I hope that you guys get back together, but I must warn you, the night that you announce your engagement Im going to announce that Im pregnant!
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Wayne.)
Joey: Wow! Cool! (He takes the guitar, stands up, and goes to play a note. However, while strumming it, he knocks it out of his hands and it bounces off the table and lands on the floor. Phoebe just stares at the guitar.)
Ross: (looking at the table) Excuse me ladies. (To Phoebe) Im sorry?
Rachel: No Mon, you want to put them in concentric circles. I want to do this.
Charlie: (to Gunther) Excuse me, I'm looking for someone. You don't, by any chance, know a Ross Geller?
Frank: Okay, cool, all right, she just ah, parking the truck. (to Joey) Im gonna, Im gonna get my ah, my fianc�e man!
Rachel: Ok, well, not a problem. We'll just use them to stop the bleeding. Ok. Baggage claim? Ok.
Phoebe: Yeah, but you have to keep the name too!
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
Joey: Okay, so what are we going to do about this hand twin thing?!
Monica: It's not ok to do it in a doctor's office but it is ok to do it in a parked car behind a Taco Bell?
Joey: Anybody want to say good-bye to me at the car?
Chandler: Y'know what this is like? This is like when my parents got divorced. Man, I hope Ross doesnt try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts.
(Chandler runs to check on them coming up the stairs.)
Ross: I'd like to return this couch. I'm not satisfied with it.
Rachel: Well, Ross, we were worried about you. We didn't know how you were going to react.
Chandler: Oh no-no Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper.
Monica: Okay, I'd like to know how much the room was because I'd like to pay my half.
Phoebe: Im not gonna right to you! Thats not real!
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Hi.
Rachel: Well uh, yes and no. Except not no. So to sum it up, yeah.
Joey: Thanks, but I kinda have a problem to deal with here.
Chandler: Listen, this is totally getting out of hand! Okay? She wants me to put lotion on her!
Matire'd: (to Richard) Youre tables ready sir.