words in movies
Monica: Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape.
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
Phoebe: (softly) Sorry. (Camera pans back to Monica, still on phone)
Monica: Aunt Syl, I did this as a favor, I am not a caterer. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas? (listens to Aunt Syl on phone, looks shocked) Nice talk, Aunt Syl. (in New York accent) You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?
(Camera pans back to group in living room)
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
(Camera pans to Ross, looking dejected)
Chandler: (to Ross) Ah, it's just a weekend, big deal!
Ross: Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling, huh? Shouldn't it be...(makes flinging motions with hands) flung by now?
(Camera pans back to Rachel)
(Camera pans to Ross, holding his stomach)
Ross: ...nauseous, I'm physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? (pauses, looks suddenly inspired) I could call immigration!
Chandler: Ok, you're going to have to stop that, forever!
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, there's a knock on the door and Carol answers it to Ross.]
Carol: Don't you want to know about the sex?
Carol: Do you want to know?
Ross: No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to know, absolutely not. I think, you know, I think you should know until you look down there, and say, oop, there it is! (pauses) Or isn't...
Carol: Yes, we certainly do, it's going to be...
Ross: (flailing arms in protest) Oh, hey hey hey, ho ho ho, hello, guy who doesn't want to know, standing right here!
Ross: Ok, what, what...ok, what did we think it was going to be?
Ross: (interrupts) No, no, no I don't want to know, don't want to know. Ok, you know, I should probably, I should probably just go.
Ross: (on intercom) Uh, never mind, I don't want to know. (Carol and Susan laugh)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler use their knees as a table to support the lasagna.]
Chandler: Ok, so it's just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?
Joey: How'd you get to that?
Chandler: Well, let's just say the impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination.
Chandler: Well, it's a pretty big commitment, I mean, what if one of us wants to move out?
[Scene: Phoebe's Massage Parlor, Phoebe's assistant is telling her about the changes to her schedule.]
Phoebe's Assistant: We've got a couple changes in your schedule. Your 4:00 herbal massage has been pushed back to 4:30 and Miss Somerfield canceled her 5:30 shiatsu.
Phoebe's Assistant: Oh, here comes your 3:00. I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum (walks out, Paolo enters)
Phoebe: Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked!
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
Monica: Carol called me to thank me for the lasagna, I asked, she told me.
[Cut back to Central Perk.]
[Cut back to Central Perk.]
Ross: You have to tell her! You have to tell her! It's your moral obligation, as a friend, as a woman, I think it's a feminist issue! Guys? Guys? (waiting for guys to chime in)
Chandler: Oh, yeah, you have to tell her.
Joey: Will you pick one, just pick one! Here, how about that one? (points to a table)
Joey: Fine, you want to get the birds, get the birds!
Rachel: No, these aren't all my suitcases. (picks up small blue suitcase and shows to Phoebe) This one's Paolo's.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies
(The camera pans back to reveal Joey and Chandler's new foosball table.)
Monica: So how does this work, you going to balance the plates on these little guys' heads?
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
(Phoebe scoots her chair over to Rachel and hugs her)
Chandler: What are you still doing here? She just broke up with the guy, it's time for you to swoop in!
[Cut to inside the apartment.]
Paolo: Uh, I am, uh, to say good-bye.
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Ross: Paolo, I-I just want to tell you and I think I speak for everyone when I say... (shuts door in his face and walks away)
[Cut to the balcony, Ross has just climbed through the window.]
Rachel: I am so sick of guys. I don't want to look at another guy, I don't want to think about another guy, I don't even want to be near another guy. (Ross crosses arms)
[Cut to inside the apartment, Rachel and Ross are entering.]
Ross: See, Rach, uh, see, I don't think that swearing off guys altogether is the answer. I really don't. I think that what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process.
Rachel: No. I just need to be by myself for a while, you know? I just got to figure out what I want
Ross: Uh, no, no, see, because not...not all guys are going to be a Paolo.
Rachel: No, I know, I know, and I'm sure your little boy is not going to grow up to be one.
Chandler: (to Joey) One more game?
Monica: Ohh come on, I love this song! Come on, youll be fine. (She starts to walk towards the floor.)
PHOEBE: (imitating Rachel) "Oh, I have to get my number back.� Oh my God.� He's gone."� (smiles) Dead on.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey. What was that all about?
Joey: Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.
Ross: Well it's okay. Chandler is talking to her.
Ross: Oh sweetie, when do you think youre going to get off tonight?
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Phoebe: Yeah, from now on everyone you lurk, I'm gonna lurk first! You move on to someone else, I'm gonna be one step ahead of you, every single time! And then I'll be on your ass every hour of every day 'til Monday, because that's when I go home. When do you leave?
Ross: God! I can't believe she saved me for last. (looking out to the balcony) Why are they taking so long?
(They both walk to the door and enter the hallway.)
Rachel: Okay, yknow, would you feel better if we went someplace else? I mean we could pack all this stuff up and yknow go to your apartment.
Monica: Well then, y'know what? I care about you to much to watch you hurt yourself like this. So if you have to do this, then youre gonna have to do it without me.
(She starts to play her song, but is stopped by Monica.)
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
Phoebe: Yeah, you got to get to the hospital.
Phoebe: I thought I was going home to go to bed, but I'm sensing there's something less fun for me to do here.
Amy: Why, did something happen to his falafel cart?
Phoebe: Suzie? (Runs over there to check)
Phoebe: (awed) You have the power to do that?
Rachel: Oh, well, I...It's kind of weird talking to you about this, but...
Monica: Sorry! I'm justI'm not very good at this! I'm a terrible liar and I hate having to lie to Rachel!
Monica: To use the bathroom.
Monica: No, but I will leave a sweater that smells like me right next to you!
Ross: (to Joey) Dude, we were good!
Joey: But why?! I shouldve won one and I really want it and she didnt even care enough to come to the thing! It could also be a Grammy.
Ross: And why exactly would I do that? (Goes back to writing on the board.)
Party Guests: (chanting) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! (Ross goes to investigate the noise) Howard! Howard! Howard! (They're holding Howard above their heads.) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! (He sees Phoebe chanting along with them.) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Yay!!
Amanda: (To Monica) Hello!
Chandler: Yeah, I believe I was talking to Joey, alright there, Mother-Kisser? (Goes to the counter)
Chandler: Are you judging them by their covers? Because youre really not supposed to do that.
Monica: So the wedding caterer sent me this list of twelve appetizers and I have to narrow it down to six.
Rachel: You should find out what his hobbies are and then use that to bond with him. Yeah! Like if I would strike up a conversation about say umm, sandwiches. Or uh, or my underwear.
Monica: (to Erica) Anybody tell you?
Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
(They walk over to the door.)
Chandler: Monica, we are not ready to have two babies!
Monica: (to a whole group) Now, these are-are more realistic, but perishable.
Phoebe: Ross, you've got to tell her how you feel!
(Monica runs out to Phoebe, who is in the kitchen)
Guy: Welcome to the building. I'm uh, Steve Sarah; I'm president of the tenants committee.
(Rachel walks up to the counter.)
Ross: Oh oh, we think Emma is about to start talking so we're trying to be careful about what words we use in front of her.
Gunther: I... I know you're leaving tonight, but I just have to tell you. I love you.
(Monica seems to take it amiss)
Joey: Ross! Ross! If youre going to the airport, could you pick me up another one of those Toblerone bars? (Chandler nods his head no.)
Joey: Say hello to the new champ of Chandler's dumb states game.
Ross: No, and I'm not going to.
Chandler: I know! You ready to trade?
Phoebe: Hey. So, did you talk to Rachel?
Julie: Thanks. Hey, listen, would you like to go to a movie sometime or something?
Rachel: Oh! What a great way to earn some extra pocket money.
Ross: So, I'm guessing you had an extra ticket and couldn't decide which one of you got to bring a date?
Mike: (To Phoebe) I want one.
Rachel: Ah! You know what honey guys are just different, they like things that we can't understand, you know I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend he was an archeologist and I was a naughty cave woman that he unfroze from a block of ice.
Monica: Yeah, y'know I-I made a commitment to you. Yknow what, itd be, itd be fun.
[cut to Monica and Phoebe in the kitchen]
Monica: I'm just so glad you got to see the babies.
Joey: Oh, uh, okay, how, how about now? (He waves his hand in front of the woman next to him and you can now see his arm on TV.)
Joey: Priesthood! Look Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're thinking. If you don't ask her out soon you're going to end up stuck in the zone forever.
Ross: Ah, what good are you. (Walks back to his map dejectedly.)
Joey: You got to tell me exactly what to do there.
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, both Monica and Phoebe gasp.]
Phoebe: We're so stupid! Do you know what's going on in there? They're trying to take Joey!
Monica: Or if you want to kiss him, umm, you could use mistletoe.
Ross: Okay, uh, about last night, um, Chandler.. you didn't tell... (Joey shakes his head) Okay, 'cause I'm thinking- we don't need to tell Chandler, I mean, it was just a kiss, right? One kiss? No big deal? Right?
(They drive up to a toll-booth.)
(Paul reveals his presence by laughing, thus concluding standard sitcom joke 2B. Paul then pulls Ross aside to have a little chat with him and tells the rest of the group that hell just be one second.)
Joey: Yeah according to the news, most of the city did.
Phoebe: Hey Mon? Was it weird changing your name to Geller-Bing?
Joey: Yknow, Im beginning to see what Jake was talking about.
Ginger: Dont you have to use the bathroom?
Joey: (disappointed) Oh... oh, but that's ok, I'll find someone else to do it... I'll do it alone, but... I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you...
Phoebe: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! Hey!!! (they all stop fighting, Chandler continues to dance.) Look what youre doing to Chandler!! (Chandler finally stops) (to Ross and Rachel) Yeah, look, we know this is really, really hard for you guys. Okay? (Ross starts to leave) You dont, all right you dont have to love each other, okay? You dont, you dont even have to like each other much right now. But please, you have to figure out a way to be around each other.
Ross: Look, were down to just one point. Could we please, maybe just settle it after the wedding.
Phoebe: You have to get a ticket to get past security.
Monica: Hon, you gotta talk to Joey.
Dedicated to the Memory of Richard L. Cox, Sr.
Charlie: (to Joey) I just left you a message! Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite, but now that you're here, maybe we can go have that dinner.
(She holds the phone down to the twins.)
Monica: (joining him and taking the taco shells) You know that? You don't want to spoil your appetite.
(the Charity guy smiles wanting to take the check, but Phoebe pulls it back again. His smile fades.)
Phoebe: Uhm, actually no. No, you've... You have to get off the plane.
Rachel: Hi! Sorry to bother you, but I don't think we can accept your acceptance of our apology, it just doesn't really seem like you mean it.
(Rachel walks up to the gate. Cut to Ross and Phoebe who come running up to the gate.)
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
Joey: Yeah, and don't worry. I didn't try to sound smart at all! See ya later! (Leaves)
Monica: Really! That long?! (Chandler slowly turns and looks at her.) (To Chandler) Look all you want, its happening!
Joey: Yeah. Uh, does this mean there's nothing to eat?
Friend No. 1: Well, I would like to propose a toast to the woman, who in one year from today, become Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber DDS
Chandler: (deadpan) Oh, hurry up. I want to sign that.
Ross: Try to understand!
Chandler: What are you talking about? The couch is perfectly in line with the carpet. And then I can just walk over here and casually just put my feet right up on the...(Tries to rest his feet on the coffee table but they won't reach) OK, OK, here's what we do, we just uh, move the couch closer to the coffee table.
Phoebe: Oh, thanks a lot. Do you want to get a cup of coffee?
[Time lapse: Ross looks likes he's been trying to fix his computer but just closes it as if giving up]
Joey: Yknow, when we talked about face to face, I dont think we thought it all the way through.
Dr. Oberman: Well, I was just wondering about the mother-to-be, but.. thanks for sharing. (To Carol) Uh, lie back..
CAROL: I mean, I knew they were having trouble with this whole thing, but they're my parents. They're supposed to give me away and everything.
Ross: No, no. (Distractedly putting on a jacket to go out) I mean, it mighta been at first, but by now I, I think Im pretty comfortable with the whole situation.
[Monica goes into her room and slams the door. Rachel does the same. Phoebe, without a door to slam, opens a small chest and slams the lid.]
Rachel: Honey, youre not gonna make enough money to help Frank and Alice just by selling knives.