words in movies
Monica: Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape.
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
Phoebe: (softly) Sorry. (Camera pans back to Monica, still on phone)
Monica: Aunt Syl, I did this as a favor, I am not a caterer. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas? (listens to Aunt Syl on phone, looks shocked) Nice talk, Aunt Syl. (in New York accent) You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?
(Camera pans back to group in living room)
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
(Camera pans to Ross, looking dejected)
Chandler: (to Ross) Ah, it's just a weekend, big deal!
Ross: Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling, huh? Shouldn't it be...(makes flinging motions with hands) flung by now?
(Camera pans back to Rachel)
(Camera pans to Ross, holding his stomach)
Ross: ...nauseous, I'm physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? (pauses, looks suddenly inspired) I could call immigration!
Chandler: Ok, you're going to have to stop that, forever!
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, there's a knock on the door and Carol answers it to Ross.]
Carol: Don't you want to know about the sex?
Carol: Do you want to know?
Ross: No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to know, absolutely not. I think, you know, I think you should know until you look down there, and say, oop, there it is! (pauses) Or isn't...
Carol: Yes, we certainly do, it's going to be...
Ross: (flailing arms in protest) Oh, hey hey hey, ho ho ho, hello, guy who doesn't want to know, standing right here!
Ross: Ok, what, what...ok, what did we think it was going to be?
Ross: (interrupts) No, no, no I don't want to know, don't want to know. Ok, you know, I should probably, I should probably just go.
Ross: (on intercom) Uh, never mind, I don't want to know. (Carol and Susan laugh)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler use their knees as a table to support the lasagna.]
Chandler: Ok, so it's just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?
Joey: How'd you get to that?
Chandler: Well, let's just say the impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination.
Chandler: Well, it's a pretty big commitment, I mean, what if one of us wants to move out?
[Scene: Phoebe's Massage Parlor, Phoebe's assistant is telling her about the changes to her schedule.]
Phoebe's Assistant: We've got a couple changes in your schedule. Your 4:00 herbal massage has been pushed back to 4:30 and Miss Somerfield canceled her 5:30 shiatsu.
Phoebe's Assistant: Oh, here comes your 3:00. I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum (walks out, Paolo enters)
Phoebe: Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked!
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
Monica: Carol called me to thank me for the lasagna, I asked, she told me.
[Cut back to Central Perk.]
[Cut back to Central Perk.]
Ross: You have to tell her! You have to tell her! It's your moral obligation, as a friend, as a woman, I think it's a feminist issue! Guys? Guys? (waiting for guys to chime in)
Chandler: Oh, yeah, you have to tell her.
Joey: Will you pick one, just pick one! Here, how about that one? (points to a table)
Joey: Fine, you want to get the birds, get the birds!
Rachel: No, these aren't all my suitcases. (picks up small blue suitcase and shows to Phoebe) This one's Paolo's.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies
(The camera pans back to reveal Joey and Chandler's new foosball table.)
Monica: So how does this work, you going to balance the plates on these little guys' heads?
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
(Phoebe scoots her chair over to Rachel and hugs her)
Chandler: What are you still doing here? She just broke up with the guy, it's time for you to swoop in!
[Cut to inside the apartment.]
Paolo: Uh, I am, uh, to say good-bye.
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Ross: Paolo, I-I just want to tell you and I think I speak for everyone when I say... (shuts door in his face and walks away)
[Cut to the balcony, Ross has just climbed through the window.]
Rachel: I am so sick of guys. I don't want to look at another guy, I don't want to think about another guy, I don't even want to be near another guy. (Ross crosses arms)
[Cut to inside the apartment, Rachel and Ross are entering.]
Ross: See, Rach, uh, see, I don't think that swearing off guys altogether is the answer. I really don't. I think that what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process.
Rachel: No. I just need to be by myself for a while, you know? I just got to figure out what I want
Ross: Uh, no, no, see, because not...not all guys are going to be a Paolo.
Rachel: No, I know, I know, and I'm sure your little boy is not going to grow up to be one.
Chandler: (to Joey) One more game?
(Ross and Susan each gesture for the other to lie down.)
Rachel: Okay, that doesnt help me, because we went to the same high school.
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
Charlie: Hum, so, I started to say you something earlier, hum... (pause) There was another reason I realized it was time to end it with Joey. I kind of realized I... was starting to have feelings... for someone else.
Tim: Wow! Umm, okay. Umm (To Phoebe) I-I-I realize I came on a little strong but, its only because I think youre so amazing. (To Monica) And uh, I-I just wanna, I just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity here because Iyoure the most talented chef Ive ever worked for. Anyway (Starts to leave and Phoebe and Monica trade looks.)
Pete: Well, yknow, I never know how much to tip.
(Ross just stands in the doorway, for like a minute Ahh! Whats going to happen next??!!! I cant make it all the way through the Olympics!!!)
Ross: (to Mona) Oh but not that way. I mean I mean Im not in love with her. I love her like a, like a friend.
(Joey wants to know, but Chandler doesnt want to discuss it by the chick, so he and Joey move over to the windows and away from the chick.)
(Joey throws a punch and just lightly taps her on the shoulder, Phoebe counters with a jab to the nose.)
Rachel: Tommys supposed to be here soon, were going to lunch.
Monica: Well, why would she lie to you?
[Scene: Ross and Chandlers bank, they are there to close their accounts.]
Joey: Well, the tough thing is, she really wants to have sex with me.
Phoebe: Coming through! (Has to dodge a fireman) Oh! Coming through! (Sees a cute one.) Oh! Hello! Hi! (Smiles then realizes) No! Right! Coming through!
JOEY: Take it easy. If it means that much to you, I'll uh, I'll go find something else.
Chandler: Yeah, well I dont think you can make that statement, unless youve been kicked in an area that God only meant to be treated nicely.
Chandler: (To Joey) So uh, whats this thing youre auditioning for?
Ross: (very interested) Oh! like what?! (Charlie looks at him confused, but smiling) Oh I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry... it's just that this must be what regular people experience when they watch "Access Hollywood".
[Flashback to The One With The Jellyfish, Chandler and Monica are lying on the beach.]
Phoebe: Yes, while I was in the chair! Thats why I take such good care of my teeth now, y'know, its not about oral hygiene, I floss to save lives!
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
Rachel: Alright, now I really have to go. Okay. Au revoir! Oh, they're gonna really hate me over there.
Phoebe: Yes. Yes. Yes. I cant believe it! The baby wants bologna! Maybe he wants me to eat meat? I cant eat meat!
Ross: You dont understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, Im not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
Rachel: Jo-Joey, look honey we-we need to talk okay? Umm, I kinda got the feeling from her today that uh, shes not lookin for a serious relationship.
[Chandler, trying to make nice with Jack, laughs at his joke and points at Jack.]
Ross: Okay. Now-now-now should I climb down your front so were face to face or-or should I climb down your back so were-were butt to face.
Conan: When you have to do physical business for a scene, I mean there must be; there must be a lot of funny moments when you have to physically do a task as part of a scene.
Rachel: Okay, hold on just a second. (She grabs a camera out of the desk and takes his picture.) Im sorry, its for human resources, everybody has to do it. Could you just stand up please?
Chandler: (To Gary) So what do you say, maybe sometime I hold your gun?
Ross: Well, excuse her for knowing what she wants to do with her life!
Chandler: No-no, wait! There's got to be a better explanation. You can tell them you had to make an adult film for your (Thinks) adult film class.
Phoebe: Hey! (she sits down next to him)
JOEY: [to Ross] You're getting a cat?
ROSS: There we go. All better. (gives Ben back to Monica)
Ross: Thats okay. Shes still in there enjoying her fake party and uh, its too late to do any of the things I had planned, so
Rachel: Oh, you’re not gonna believe what happened to me today! Ralph Lauren called, and gave me my job back!
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
Ross: No, its okay. Some-some kid asked me to pick it up for him, but I dont
Chandler: Oh no, youll have to come.
Ross: Wait a minute, is it because Joey and I didnt invite him to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago?
Ross: Oh, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry sweetie, I was just trying to ah, I'm dialing another number. (hangs up)
Joey: He knew we were trying to get rid of him. He knew! (Pause.) You think we could get a bathtub in our kitchen?
Joey: Relax Ross, we'll be ready. It only takes us two minutes to get dressed.
Chandler: Why dont you just give him to somebody else?
Rachel: Okay. (Gets up and starts to leave with Paul.)
Phoebe: Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, lets plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.) Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. (pause) Yknow what, I want you to take the chef job.
Monica: So I did tell you. Okay, y'know, that really isnt the thing. Umm, the thing is that, right now Im just in a place in my life where I need to focus on me. Y'know what I mean?
(Rachel gets up to the jetway.)
Monica: I told you not to go down there!
Phoebe: Well umm, do you wanna get something to eat? Im kinda hungry.
Phoebe: Oh, Rachel and I have appointments to get our hair cut.
Rachel: You know, this happens all the time to my computer at work.
Monica: See what happens when you give people advice? I hope you told him not to?
Ross: You dont have to shout everything.
Phoebe: You got problems because of you! Not your name! All right, this has got to stop! Chandler is a great name! In factyes, (To Joey) Im, Im sorry. I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey, but eh, so, Im-Im, Im gonna, Im gonna name the baby Chandler.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there as someones cell phone starts to ring with one of those fancy ring tones.]
(Rachel starts to laugh.)
Phoebe: Im telling you hes dead. What we are about to have here is a dead fat guy on a stick.
Ross: Anyway, they want me to go down to this- sonogram thing with them tomorrow.
Ross: Wow. Im sorry, when I was a kid I lost a bike to that. (Rachel giggles at that)
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
(Ross gets up and starts to hop on one leg.)
Joey: All right look man, I didnt want to bring this up, but Chandler, is the stupidest name I ever heard in my life! Its not even a name; its barely even a word. Okay? Its kinda like chandelier, but its not! All right? Its a stupid, stupid non-name!
Mr. Geller: Well, its time for a new family to start their memories here and hopefully their check will clear before they find the crack in the foundation and the asbestos in the ceiling.
Joey: Well, I guess youre right. Maybe, maybe Ill take her down to the incinerator. Its gonna be so said, and kinda cool. (He goes to remove the back, but it doesnt come off. So he sits down in it, puts his feet up, stands up, and looks back at it.) Shes heeled!
Ross: I know, I know. I shouldn't have waited 'till now to say it, but I'm.. That was stupid, okay? I'm sorry, but I'm telling you now. I love you. Do not get on this plane.
Dr. Green: What happened to the library?
Rachel: Look, Im fine. Watch. (She picks up an aspirin between her toes) Look at that. (She lifts her leg to grab the aspirin with her hand and almost falls over.) Whoa-whoa!
Carol: Yeah, okay, bye. (closes the door, turns out the lights, and runs back to the bedroom)
(Monica is dancing. At first she seems insecure and moves slowly, but then gets into the groove and swings her hips from side to side while holding her hands up. She then eats the last piece of pizza she was holding and again moves her hips from side to side, pushing her hands in the air in beat with the music. Her moves get more wildly while she's snapping her fingers. She loses balance and falls back onto a pink bean bag.)
Phoebe: Oh. (She goes to work, and her head slowly drops out of view.)
Chandler: Yes, Joey has a very careful screening process. Apparently, not everyone is qualified to own wood and nails.
Monica: All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and were down by two points. Two points.... (she gets interrupted by the guys, who are doing a slow-motion high five.) Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long.
Rachel: Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me...
Joey: Are you kidding? Rachel loves to shop! And she has great taste! Yeah, she's the one who taught me, you don't wear white after labour day and that you always, always, always have to put on underwear when you're trying on clothes.
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
Ross: Okay, okay. If that is what it takes to show you how much you mean to me, and how much I want you there. Then that's what I'll do.
Ross: Wh-haa-haa! Look what cha did! (Rachel has her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.)
Ross: Thats impossible! I mean we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it, although believe me she wanted to do a lot more than that.
Chandler: No! (Calls) Danielle, hi! It's, uh, it's Chandler! (Listens) I'm fine. Uh, listen, I don't know if you tried to call me, because, uh, idiot that I am, I accidentally shut off my phone. (Listens) Oh, uh, okay, that's fine, that's great. (Listens) Okay. (Puts down the phone.) (to Monica) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back. (He starts doing a little jig.) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back, she's on the other line, gonna call me back...
[Scene: Rachels new job, Rachels boss is telling her what to do.]
Monica: I want you to meet someone really special. Phoebe, this is Erica. And this is the baby!
Rachel: Well, let�s see. The first one is: I don�t want to. And, you know, I�m not going.
Ross: Thanks. You ready to go?
Phoebe: Oh, you guys! We've got to keep all the tickets together (takes the bowl from Ross and puts it on the table)
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! I just talked to the casting people; they loved you!
All: Way to go, Phoebe!
[Scene: The Philly, Chandler and Joey are talking to Chloe.]
Rachel: Look, you guys... this is really, really important to me. And it means a lot if you could try to get on board.
Ross: (to Rachel) I was just leaving.
Monica: Look Rach, we have to move. I mean if they had lost, we wouldve made them get rid of the birds. Right?
Joey: Yeah, I didnt know you guys were going to be here.
Chandler: You had a dream about a girl that I am seeing?! Oh, that is so cool! (To Monica) I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt about a girl that he was seeing. (Seeing Monica's stare.) (To Joey) Anyway we're talking about your dream. (To Monica) I love you. (To Joey) Your dream? (Leans in to listen closely.)
Joey: It was, yeah. I kind of don't want it to end. Hey, you wanna come in for a drink and a bite of corsage?
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Janice: So, how come you wanted to eat in tonight?
Joey: Okay, look Im sorry, I went in there to take a nap and I know I shouldnt have, but you got porn!
Rachel: Monica, I dont want to lose 200 dollars.