words in movies
Monica: Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape.
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
Phoebe: (softly) Sorry. (Camera pans back to Monica, still on phone)
Monica: Aunt Syl, I did this as a favor, I am not a caterer. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas? (listens to Aunt Syl on phone, looks shocked) Nice talk, Aunt Syl. (in New York accent) You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?
(Camera pans back to group in living room)
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
(Camera pans to Ross, looking dejected)
Chandler: (to Ross) Ah, it's just a weekend, big deal!
Ross: Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling, huh? Shouldn't it be...(makes flinging motions with hands) flung by now?
(Camera pans back to Rachel)
(Camera pans to Ross, holding his stomach)
Ross: ...nauseous, I'm physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? (pauses, looks suddenly inspired) I could call immigration!
Chandler: Ok, you're going to have to stop that, forever!
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, there's a knock on the door and Carol answers it to Ross.]
Carol: Don't you want to know about the sex?
Carol: Do you want to know?
Ross: No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to know, absolutely not. I think, you know, I think you should know until you look down there, and say, oop, there it is! (pauses) Or isn't...
Carol: Yes, we certainly do, it's going to be...
Ross: (flailing arms in protest) Oh, hey hey hey, ho ho ho, hello, guy who doesn't want to know, standing right here!
Ross: Ok, what, what...ok, what did we think it was going to be?
Ross: (interrupts) No, no, no I don't want to know, don't want to know. Ok, you know, I should probably, I should probably just go.
Ross: (on intercom) Uh, never mind, I don't want to know. (Carol and Susan laugh)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler use their knees as a table to support the lasagna.]
Chandler: Ok, so it's just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?
Joey: How'd you get to that?
Chandler: Well, let's just say the impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination.
Chandler: Well, it's a pretty big commitment, I mean, what if one of us wants to move out?
[Scene: Phoebe's Massage Parlor, Phoebe's assistant is telling her about the changes to her schedule.]
Phoebe's Assistant: We've got a couple changes in your schedule. Your 4:00 herbal massage has been pushed back to 4:30 and Miss Somerfield canceled her 5:30 shiatsu.
Phoebe's Assistant: Oh, here comes your 3:00. I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum (walks out, Paolo enters)
Phoebe: Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked!
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
Monica: Carol called me to thank me for the lasagna, I asked, she told me.
[Cut back to Central Perk.]
[Cut back to Central Perk.]
Ross: You have to tell her! You have to tell her! It's your moral obligation, as a friend, as a woman, I think it's a feminist issue! Guys? Guys? (waiting for guys to chime in)
Chandler: Oh, yeah, you have to tell her.
Joey: Will you pick one, just pick one! Here, how about that one? (points to a table)
Joey: Fine, you want to get the birds, get the birds!
Rachel: No, these aren't all my suitcases. (picks up small blue suitcase and shows to Phoebe) This one's Paolo's.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies
(The camera pans back to reveal Joey and Chandler's new foosball table.)
Monica: So how does this work, you going to balance the plates on these little guys' heads?
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
(Phoebe scoots her chair over to Rachel and hugs her)
Chandler: What are you still doing here? She just broke up with the guy, it's time for you to swoop in!
[Cut to inside the apartment.]
Paolo: Uh, I am, uh, to say good-bye.
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Ross: Paolo, I-I just want to tell you and I think I speak for everyone when I say... (shuts door in his face and walks away)
[Cut to the balcony, Ross has just climbed through the window.]
Rachel: I am so sick of guys. I don't want to look at another guy, I don't want to think about another guy, I don't even want to be near another guy. (Ross crosses arms)
[Cut to inside the apartment, Rachel and Ross are entering.]
Ross: See, Rach, uh, see, I don't think that swearing off guys altogether is the answer. I really don't. I think that what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process.
Rachel: No. I just need to be by myself for a while, you know? I just got to figure out what I want
Ross: Uh, no, no, see, because not...not all guys are going to be a Paolo.
Rachel: No, I know, I know, and I'm sure your little boy is not going to grow up to be one.
Chandler: (to Joey) One more game?
JOEY: [in the voice] Hard to say.
Phoebe: I want to keep one. (Giggles in excitement.)
Aurora: (moves Chandler's arm and look at his watch.) Oh my God, I'm late. (She starts to get up.)
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
Rachel: No we werent! It was nothing! It was one night, senior year we went to a party, had a lot of sangria and yknow, ended up kissing for a bit.
(Ross continues his trek south, and when they get face to face.)
Joey: Im gonna take that book and beat you to death with it.
Ross: Wh-wh-what line? The line that prompted a student in my last class of the day to say uh, (In a college frat boy voice) "Dude, dont you ever was your face?"
Joey: I have an audition for this play and for some of it I have to speak French. Which, according to my résumé, I'm fluent in.
Monica: No, he's not. And if I can't get pregnant with you, then I don't want to get pregnant by... him or anyone else.
RACHEL: [on phone] Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat who, by the way, I think you should name Michael. And, you know, ya see there I'm thinking of names so obviously, I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. [hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket]
Joey: Well you-you-you-you might say congratulations! I saw the board! I went to the audition! I got the part!!
Mike: No, no, no, you're doing fine, really... Why don't you go talk to my dad?
Monica: So, why don't you just take it back to where you got it?
Chandler: (coming all the way in) Listen, I just wanted to apologize about this afternoon and the whole massage thing. Y'know? I-I really like 'em.
Rachel: Noo!! No! You thought, you actually thought I wanted to have sex with you?!
(Ross begins to say something, realizes what Gunther just said, turns, and glares at Chandler. Chandler just shrugs it off.)
Phoebe: When I got pregnant with the triplets, I took that test like three times just to make sure.
Ross: I was going to tell you, but
Phoebe: Oh, I'm still mad at them but I also now that they bring happiness to lots of kids who's moms didn't kill themselves, so by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it. So there, a selfless good deed.
Mischa: (to Monica) I have just resigned my post. Would you care to accompany me to the Rainbow Room? I have diplomatic coupons.
Ross: Oh I know, isn't it? Ooh... what'd you do to get her to laugh?
Monica: Yknow, I think if I were going to be with a woman. (Chandler is intrigued.) Itd, itd be with someone like Michelle, she was so oh, she was so petite.
Chandler: I was just at the bank, and there was this really hot teller, and she didnt ask me to go do it with her in the vault.
Ross: Thanks guys! (They both sit down on either side of him.) I really appreciate this, yknow, but you dont have to rub my butt.
(She slowly walks forward and backward, to gain speed...)
Ross: Uh Dad, Emmas in the nursery. Ill take you now. If you want, but (To Rachel) I really want to talk to you.
Joey: Oh, did I not mention? Carl is a guy I hired to be my identical twin for a medical research project.
Ross: Trying to date this woman.
Ross: No! I talked to Joey on the set, he hasnt heard from him. I-I-I talked to Chandlers parents again!
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross is opening the door to Mona. Rachel is there as well.]
(cut to Joey on the other side, who finally leaves the door and goes to his apartment)
Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh . That-that-thats really just to show where the baby would go. Yknow why dont I hold on to him so that theres no confusion? (Takes him back, sets him on the chair, and apologizes to him.)
Ross: I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow! Ok? I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say?
Chandler: Listen, I gotta talk to you.
Ross: Im just saying if you cant eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
Ross: Hey Rach, can I talk to you outside for a second?
Phoebe: Oh, en chante. (She holds out her hand for him to kiss it, but he only shakes it.)
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey has brought in a bunch of laundry in another attempt to get his picture on the wall, but the dry cleaner isnt working right now. Instead, a beautiful woman is working.]
Rachel: (They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.
Joey: Well, I had the audition but Gunther said I had to stay here and be in charge so he could go get his hair dyed. So, I went anyway, and then he fired me.
Chandler: Okay, so now do you believe that she's attracted to me?
Monica: Is all this about you not being able to grow a moustache?
Phoebe: Anything I can do to help?
Frank: Yeah, I was thinking that maybe we could go down to Time Square and pick up some ninja stars. And, oh, um, my friend Larry, he wants me to take a picture of a hooker.
Sandy: Well, I guess we know who's gonna be the Grumpus... (Ross goes to the kitchen)
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
RACHEL: Oh, what do you, you want me to stop seeing him, is that what you want?
Rachel: No. But she did give us some ideas on how to induce labor.
Rachel: Okay. So these signals Ross, explain this to me, cause maybe I need to be more careful. I mean, am I sending you these signals right now?
Chandler: Hey, yknow what, if youre gonna do that, if youre gonna name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. (Phoebe doesnt think so.) Oh, come on! Chandlers funny, sophisticated, and hes very loveable, once you get to know him.
Monica: (to Will) Wanna give me a hand?
Joey: (To Monica) Who the hell is this guy?
Chandler: Okay, umm, we all have to play strip poker.
Will: Its good to see you man.
Monica: (to Will) Joey.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Its like my chance to give something back to the acting community.
(Phoebe throws another jab, and lands it on Joeys nose, causing it to bleed.)
Phoebe: (starting to panic) Oh my God, everything is such a mess. Why is this happening to me?
Charlie: I'm sure you have better things to do.
[Time lapse, Monica has joined in and is calling to get out of work.]
Joey: Hard to tell, I was naked.
Phoebe: Because a promise between friends means never having to give a reason. (she leaves)
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.)
Joey: (To Monica) Seriously, who is this guy?
Ross: (to Phoebe) Sure, your dresser is missing but this she notices.
Monica: Phoebe! Come on Im serious! I just got to talk to him about all this.
Mr Campbell: Maybe people... found it weird.... So, why do you want to leave Ralph Lauren?
Dr. Green: I think I may be able to book The Plaza on short notice.
ROSS: [looking at a glass table with a panther shaped base] Look, check this out. Is it a coffee table, is it a panther? There's no need to decide.
Ross: (Staring back, and then breaks off) (To Phoebe and Rachel) Yeah, he can do it!
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
Jill: (To Rachel) Daddy cut me off.
RACH: Oh what, my whole insane jealousy thing? Well, y'know, as much fun as that was, I've decided to opt for sanity.
Ross: Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.
Joey: Well, he's gonna. I'll see you a little later, ok? (To the Hombre Man) Hey, how ya doin'?
Monica: Or this one! (She grabs and starts to open the biggest present.)
Ross: So listen uh, I know you and I havent really had a chance to talk since uh, Emily and I decided to get married, and uh, I was just wondering how you were.
Phoebe: Or, we can decide by whose ever name is closer to the word phone.
Ross: Ok! (he takes the camera and walks backwards to take a shot) See? Scared of swings, I bet you feel pretty silly (a swinging boy knocks him down) Ow!
Joey: (form the other side of the door) Hellooo? Anybody in there order a celebrity? (He starts to enter the apartment and Chandler runs to the door and shuts it back in his face) OW!
Chandler: Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore, and I figure the best way to do that is face to faceAnd by face I dont mean his lap. And by face, I dont mean my ass. (Exits.)
Rachel: No dont! Go back to repeating!
(They go to the food table.)
Ross: Look, I didnt want to rush into anything. And it seemed like she didnt want to either. But I dont, I dont understand how any of this happened! What? Did she find the ring in my jacket, assume that I was going to propose, throw it on, and-and just start telling people?
Chandler: (to Ross) Wellll?
Monica: Any woman would be lucky to have ya.
Chandler: Can you people not see me?! (He waves his arms around to get their attention.)
Joey: All right! All right! Enough! Enough! Enough!! Enough! (To Chandler and Monica) You two go home! I-I-I gotta talk to Janine! (They start to leave.)
Chandler: Oh. Yknow, that night meant a lot to me too, and it wasnt because I was in a bad place or anything, it just meant a lot to me cause, youre really hot! Is that okay?
Chandler: Honey! Thats crazy! I dont want you to get me a stripper
(Ross runs out to get the tickets.)
Monica: (to Ross) I cant believe youre getting married!
Monica: Wait, no-no-no, I can go really fast! Dad, give me the keys to your Porsche!
Monica starts crying: Thank you. It was so beautiful. <gets up and walks towards the front door> I'm going to go to Joeys and get the pies.
Rachel: see I cant decide whether it would go better next to the new wicker dining chair, the Sahara desk, or the Parker console table.
Rachel: (on the phone) No, no, no, Im looking at a purchase order right here and it clearly states that we ordered the Rivera bikini in a variety of sizes and colours. And.... (listens) What does it matter, what Im wearing?! Can I please speak to your supervisor? (listens) Thank you. (to Sophie) Were holding.
Rachel: Well, so then what are you doing to me? Okay? Just get out of here! All right? Move on!
Chandler: Yeah, I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
Chandler: Oh, because we love kids. Love ‘em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.