words in movies
Rachel: (to Ross) Tell him.
Ross: (to Chandler) It's her first day at this new job. Your not supposed to start with her!
Chandler: I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert, y'know he's the botanist.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) It must take you forever to find your keys.
Ross: Honey, just relax, it's gonna be fine. Hey, umm,. why don't I come down there and I'll take you out to lunch?
Rachel: Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. (to Phoebe) Is this actually a lunchbox?
Chandler: (to Ross) Hey, so can you make it on Friday?
Ross: What? Oh yeah, yeah I think so. Why am I invited to this again?
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?
Chandler: Don't do anything. Keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings! (pause) Don't cry outloud.
Chandler: I want to say you but, that seems like such an easy answer.
Ross: Ah Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.
Ross: Mr. Dickens gets to pick 'em.
Joey: Oh, okay. (to Ross) The what?
Rachel: I think I just shipped 3,000 bras to personnel. Oh honey, I gotta go. (to Mark) Mark, I need you!
Ross: Oh, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry sweetie, I was just trying to ah, I'm dialing another number. (hangs up)
[Scene: The Moondance diner, Monica is cleaning up with one of the waiters, with her back turned to him she removes her fake breasts and hides them under her wig.]
Jeannine: (to Monica) All right, I just got changed in thirty seconds so you can be alone with him. You'd better go for it.
Julio: (to Jeannine) Adios.
Julio: Things that move me. The, the shadow of a tree, a child laughing, or this lip. (points to her lip)
Monica: Mine? (points to her lower lip) Right here?
Joey: (singing) You've got to pick a pocket or two. Boyyyyssss, (picks a handkerchief from the pianist's pocket) you've got to pick a pocket or two..........
Director: Listen Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday.
Director: Okay, and listen don't forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance audition.
Director: Joey, all the roles got to dance a little. But believe me with your dance background it'll be a piece of cake.
Joey: Yeah, I can dance, y'know. (starts to dance really, really, really badly)
Chandler: All right, I have to get that, but no-no. (answering phone) Hello? (listens) (happily) Hi! Yeah listen, I'm, I'm in need of a stripper and I was told that you do that. (listens) Let me ask you this, what, what do you do for the extra hundred? (listens) So would I, would I have to provide the grapes?
Monica: It was soo amazing, he is so sexy, and smart, which makes him even sexier. Oh gosh, I gotta so you this. Last night, we were fooling around and he stops to write a poem.
Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
Monica: Anyway um, when he left he forgot to take the poem with him. Now, I am like totally dense about poetry, but I think it's pretty good all right. Check it out. (hands them the poem)
Chandler: To yourself. (finishing) Hey-hey-hey, y'know what that's pretty good.
Monica: Oh, I'm so glad you guys like it. Yay! All right I gotta go to work. (tries to take the poem)
Monica: All right, just give it back to me when your done. See you guys.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure, it's umm... (she picks up this bug and it starts to play the theme from Love Story)
Mark: Wow! Somebody wants people to know you have a boyfriend.
Man: (to Rachel) Ah, excuse me, are you Rachel Green?
Quartet: (singing) And you know who will be there to support... you?! Your one and only boyfriend...
The Bass Barber: It's nice to have a boyfriend.
Ross: ...can't, can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office anymorrrrre!!
Rachel: Look, I know what's going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.
Chandler: Look, don't you see what's happening here. Instead of hitting on her right away, he's becoming her confidant. Now he's gonna be the guy she goes too to complain about you.
Ross: What am I going to do?
Chandler: Well, why don't you send her a musical bug, op, no you already did that. All right look, you're going to have to go there yourself now, okay, make a few surprise visits.
Chandler: All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'
Woman: (walking up to Mark) Here's the Shelly Siegal stuff from December.
Rachel: Ohhh! That is soo sweet! (gets up to get herself a cup of coffee)
(They start to kiss, and Ross rushes into the office to break it up.)
Ross: I have been down in your store for twenty minutes trying to get a tie! What do I have to do to get some service?! (turns to Rachel) Hi Rach. (He's puts his hand on her shoulder and she knocks it away.)
Director: Listen Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience, I want you to take these dancers and show them the combination.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is tying a ribbon to a vase.]
Monica: (to Julio) So! I'm just an empty vase, huh?
Monica: Y'know, so I don't read as many important books as you do, and I don't write trick poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else. And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when I my People magazine comes on Saturday, and the new Hold Everything catalog. Y'know but that does not mean that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have no right to make that kind of judgment about me.
[Scene: Joey's audition, the director has returned and wants to see the combination.]
Director: Let's try it again, and this time let's watch everybody watch Joey. (to Joey) Show 'em how it's done. (to the pianist) Count it off.
(The pianist starts to play, and Joey readies himself, and then runs out of the audition.)
Ross: (sits down next to her) I'm sorry, I was an idiot.
Ross: A big idiot. Just you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is kinda hard for me.
Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away.
Rachel: Honey, that's very sweet, it just seems to me though, that if two people love each other and trust each other, like we do, there's no reason to be jealous. (she kisses him)
Ross: Oh, I've got to go pick up Ben, we've got a play date this afternoon.
Ross: Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree class. Why, is that okay?
Rachel: Noo, I y'know I don't see why she has to play with you, that's all. I mean doesn't she have any y'know other stripper moms friends of her own?
Rachel: (to Chandler) Well, there's a kiss that he won't forget for a couple of hours, y'know.
Chandler: Yeah. Either that, or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper.
Julio: (to him) I am Julio.
Quartet: Your no God's gift to women, that's all in your headdddd. You are just a buttmunch.
Rachel: I dont know, I dont know, werent you the guy that told me to quit my job when I had absolutely nothing else to do. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!!
Rachel: Oh my God! That's my boss. You have to seat us somewhere else.
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, so what? (On phone) Look, I live across the street, (walking to the window) and I know all about you and your little telescope, and I don't appreciate it, okay? (Listens) Yeah, I can see you right now! (Listens) Hello! (Listens) If I wanna walk around my apartment in my underwear, I shouldn't have to feel like(Listens)Thank you, but... that's not really the point... (Listens) The point is that... (Listens) Mostly free weights, but occasionally..
Chandler: I dont know! You were a delight to talk to. You asked all those insightful, great questions.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Rachel are on the couch looking at the Playboy magazine. When they hear someone coming, Monica goes to hide it under the sofa cushions.]
Chandler: That would be impossible to resist if you werent all drippy here. (Points to his nose.)
Ross: You know what? I know Chandler longer, so I always think of him as my best friend, but now... I may have to rethink some stuff...
Joey: Okay, get ready to owe me!
Joey: That thing was a hazard! (To the potential roommate) Im very safety conscious.
RACHEL: Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting's always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here.
Monica: (entering) Okay, I talked to the guy with the shovel and I found out what happened.
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is just entering. She takes off her coat and heads for the kitchen. As she does, she knocks something off of a bookcase next to the kitchen door with her coat and it breaks.]
(He gets up to make the copies leaving Rachel alone with his stuff. She notices his sweater in his backpack and holds it up to her nose as Melissa, a coworker, walks up.)
Director: Alright were back! Ten seconds left here we go! Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! (He continues to count as we hear Joey think)
(As Bonnie goes to do just that, Rachel smiles to herself, proud of what shes done.)
Rachel: (singing) Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya baby! Ow! (There's a knock on the door, she turns off the music, puts on her robe, and goes to answer the door.) Love to love ya, baby! (There's another knock.) Darnit! (Looks through the peephole and turns on the lights.) Ugh. (She opens the door to Ross who's leaning against the door jam.)
Ross: (perplexed for a moment) Wait a minute... when you guys walked into the Met, did you go to the right?
Chandler: Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I'm talking loud!
Chandler: Hi! (to Sophie) How are you?
Phoebe: Oh my God! Youre right! Go! (Monica starts to leave.) Go tell Chandler! Hurry before its too late! Wait no! (Monica stops.) Does this also mean putting out doesnt get you love? (Monica is shocked.)
Chandler: Yeah, hes made phone calls, written letters, he even came to New York, but I always said I was too busy to see him. Yknow its all very Cats in the CradleI dont want to get into it. (The show starts.) Here we go.
Chandler: I don't know. But I know I'm not afraid to do this.
Joey: (opening the door to The Potential Roommate) Hi!
Rachel: Well, she-she ob-obviously saw the tire tracks that were leading up to the closed garage.
Chandler: Yes it would. What do you say to $50?
Chandler: No-no, that's okay, apparently there's a new policy where we don't have to share everything with everybody.
Ross: Ahh, I-I did leave the gel on a little longer then it said to.
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Rachel: Okay, thank you. Thatll be all. (The mail guy leaves and Tag starts to follow, but Rachel stops him.) (Excitedly) Wait! Wait! (Rushes over and closes the office-door.) Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. (They kiss.)
(She can't stay at the end as the couch rounds the turn so she shifts to the back corner of the couch and is at a 90-degree angle to it.)
CHANDLER: Listen, I have to, uh, um, I have to, I have to confess something.
Chandler: everything's great, just watching some regular television there, what a pleasant surprise. (She hugs him, and she knows what he was doing so she looks at the TV and sees sharks swimming around thinking Chandler was giving himself a treat to sharks.)
PHOEBE: Listen to you two. It's so sad. Looks like I'm gonna be going to the goddess meetings alone.
Ross: Thanks. I know you guys like to give me a hard time and all, but it really means a lot to me that you like her. Just knowing that you guys are
Ross: Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.
Phoebe: Tiger! (Joey moves his hand in an attempt to do the chord, in fact he does it with each name.) Dragon! Iceberg!! (He fails.) Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
Phoebe: For your information, this happens to be a pain like no man will ever experience.
Joey: Uh, yeah... This guy at work got me excited about going in on an emu farm. That'd be kinda cool huh? Pitchin' in on the weekends, helping to plant the emus...
Ross: Am I?! And was it your idea to postpone the wedding?!
Monica: I was probably waiting for it to open.
Rachel: How do you know that? What if it just gets worse and worse and worse, to the point where we cant even be in the same room with each other?!
Joey: Yeah, for sure. Okay. Probably want the first thing to be, never open your eyes. Y'know, because you dont want to be doing something and then look up and see something you dont want to be seeing.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, umm, hi kids! Um, it's me, Aunt Phoebe. I can't wait to see you. Please don't hurt me!
Rachel: (To Emma) Hey! Hi, how's my girl?
Monica: This woman's got my life, I should get to see who she is.
CHANDLER: Oh, you're right I, I should play in the hay. Forget about the fact that I just dropped 400 dollars to replace a bracelet that I hated to begin with. Bring on the hay. [sits down at the bar]
JOEY: Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.
Monica: (To Chandler) You are going to make a joke about my special present! Why would you do that?!
Joshua: Well, what was supposed to happen?
Joey: Hey! It is unacceptable that you two would have sex with Emma in the next room. I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this.
Ross: That's easy for you to say, you found one already.
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Ross: Okay, y'know how you told me I should do whatever it takes to fix my marriage?
[cut to outside of Central Perk]
Janine: (touches his waist) Why don't you try to do-
Joey: (to women passing him) Porsche.
Chandler: Where's Monica?! Where is she? I need to talk to her! It's urgent! Is she here?
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
BOTH (but to different babies): Oh, Ben! Hey, buddy!
Rachel: Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. (To Monica and Phoebe) It was Ralph Lauren! (Monica and Phoebe gasp) Ralph Lauren walked into my office!
Ross: I'm taking my time, alright? I'm laying the groundwork. Yeah. I mean, every day I get just a little bit closer to...
Chandler: Thats a bad duck!!! (to Ross) Howd the thing go tonight, Ross?
Phoebe: Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.
Chandler: Honey, try to focus the trash talk on him!
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Ross: No, I dont want to hit you.
Doctor: Oh my. Were gonna need to take you straight to the delivery room.
Joey: All right, we have to pick captains.
[Monica tries to come in]
(Ross wants to say something, but just smiles and leaves.)
PHOEBE: No, now I feel bad. You wanna go to the concert.
Rachel: Yeah, but he waited until the last minute! So if I said yes, he would know I had nothing better to do than wait around for an invitation to his stupid party. I said, "No!" Which puts me right back in the driver seat.
Emily: We dont have to.
Joey: Hey! (To Chandler) Dude, some guy just called for you.
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
RACHEL: (as herself) "Well, but I'm not sure I really want to do anything about it."
Chandler: Do you want me to be afraid of you?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is trying to tell Rachel about Emily's ultimatum again.]
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
RACHEL: So. I mean, who here does not have the time to get to know Julie?
Joey: Half hour. (Rachel turns to look at him and he nods yes.)
Joey: So when do we get to meet the guy?
Steve: I came to talk to you about Howard.
Woman No. 2: Okay, yeah, I just wanted a cat. (Starts to leave.)
(He starts to put his pants on, but Rachel manages to drag him to the chair. When they get to the chair, Chandler drops his pants and knocks the chair away. Rachel then backs him up and locks him to the top drawer of a filing cabinet.)
Rachel: Oh my God. Did you talk to him?
Ross: Dad dad, please! As I was saying umm, Im Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and Im the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, shes the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if youd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple were here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.
Rachel: Are you gonna... you're going to take Hugsy away from a little child?
Ross: (smiling to himself) Good. I'm just getting some coffee. So I'm alert for the wedding.
Joey: No way! Mr.Salty is a sailor, all right, he's got to be, like, thetoughest snack there is.
Ross: Yay! (To Carol) Seriously, our sex life I was thinking, maybe I dont know, we could try some-some new things. Yknow? For fun?
Joey: Yknow Terry, I-I dont really need to do this. I got my own cable TV series, (Pause) with a robot.
Jasmine: But you should probably talk to my roommate, because I told him and he knows Phoebe too.
Phoebe: Oh okay. All right, then I need to calm down a little.
Ross: Oh, no. At first I have to get you to agree. Then we'll see if she wants to come back.
Chandler: Worst porn ever! Worst porn ever! (Chandler starts to press buttons on the remote control, frantically.)
Ross: (To Phoebe) Im sorry. Ugh, Pheebs, you were, you were right about her. Yknow, she did try to use sex as a weapon! Yeah, I hurt my back a little.
Joey: Have a seat. (Mike sits on his bed, and Joey towers over him. He starts talking in an Italian godfather-type voice) Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family... and instead, you disrespect me... (shakes his head) I cannot allow this.
Joey: (picks up the phone) Hello? Yeah, this is Joey Tribbiani... Oh, hi! Well, I'm glad you liked my letter... No my mommy and daddy aren't home right now... (looks puzzled) Okay, bye bye. (hangs up) (to himself) She was nice!