words in movies
Rachel: (to Ross) Tell him.
Ross: (to Chandler) It's her first day at this new job. Your not supposed to start with her!
Chandler: I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert, y'know he's the botanist.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) It must take you forever to find your keys.
Ross: Honey, just relax, it's gonna be fine. Hey, umm,. why don't I come down there and I'll take you out to lunch?
Rachel: Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. (to Phoebe) Is this actually a lunchbox?
Chandler: (to Ross) Hey, so can you make it on Friday?
Ross: What? Oh yeah, yeah I think so. Why am I invited to this again?
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?
Chandler: Don't do anything. Keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings! (pause) Don't cry outloud.
Chandler: I want to say you but, that seems like such an easy answer.
Ross: Ah Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.
Ross: Mr. Dickens gets to pick 'em.
Joey: Oh, okay. (to Ross) The what?
Rachel: I think I just shipped 3,000 bras to personnel. Oh honey, I gotta go. (to Mark) Mark, I need you!
Ross: Oh, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry sweetie, I was just trying to ah, I'm dialing another number. (hangs up)
[Scene: The Moondance diner, Monica is cleaning up with one of the waiters, with her back turned to him she removes her fake breasts and hides them under her wig.]
Jeannine: (to Monica) All right, I just got changed in thirty seconds so you can be alone with him. You'd better go for it.
Julio: (to Jeannine) Adios.
Julio: Things that move me. The, the shadow of a tree, a child laughing, or this lip. (points to her lip)
Monica: Mine? (points to her lower lip) Right here?
Joey: (singing) You've got to pick a pocket or two. Boyyyyssss, (picks a handkerchief from the pianist's pocket) you've got to pick a pocket or two..........
Director: Listen Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday.
Director: Okay, and listen don't forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance audition.
Director: Joey, all the roles got to dance a little. But believe me with your dance background it'll be a piece of cake.
Joey: Yeah, I can dance, y'know. (starts to dance really, really, really badly)
Chandler: All right, I have to get that, but no-no. (answering phone) Hello? (listens) (happily) Hi! Yeah listen, I'm, I'm in need of a stripper and I was told that you do that. (listens) Let me ask you this, what, what do you do for the extra hundred? (listens) So would I, would I have to provide the grapes?
Monica: It was soo amazing, he is so sexy, and smart, which makes him even sexier. Oh gosh, I gotta so you this. Last night, we were fooling around and he stops to write a poem.
Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
Monica: Anyway um, when he left he forgot to take the poem with him. Now, I am like totally dense about poetry, but I think it's pretty good all right. Check it out. (hands them the poem)
Chandler: To yourself. (finishing) Hey-hey-hey, y'know what that's pretty good.
Monica: Oh, I'm so glad you guys like it. Yay! All right I gotta go to work. (tries to take the poem)
Monica: All right, just give it back to me when your done. See you guys.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure, it's umm... (she picks up this bug and it starts to play the theme from Love Story)
Mark: Wow! Somebody wants people to know you have a boyfriend.
Man: (to Rachel) Ah, excuse me, are you Rachel Green?
Quartet: (singing) And you know who will be there to support... you?! Your one and only boyfriend...
The Bass Barber: It's nice to have a boyfriend.
Ross: ...can't, can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office anymorrrrre!!
Rachel: Look, I know what's going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.
Chandler: Look, don't you see what's happening here. Instead of hitting on her right away, he's becoming her confidant. Now he's gonna be the guy she goes too to complain about you.
Ross: What am I going to do?
Chandler: Well, why don't you send her a musical bug, op, no you already did that. All right look, you're going to have to go there yourself now, okay, make a few surprise visits.
Chandler: All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'
Woman: (walking up to Mark) Here's the Shelly Siegal stuff from December.
Rachel: Ohhh! That is soo sweet! (gets up to get herself a cup of coffee)
(They start to kiss, and Ross rushes into the office to break it up.)
Ross: I have been down in your store for twenty minutes trying to get a tie! What do I have to do to get some service?! (turns to Rachel) Hi Rach. (He's puts his hand on her shoulder and she knocks it away.)
Director: Listen Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience, I want you to take these dancers and show them the combination.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is tying a ribbon to a vase.]
Monica: (to Julio) So! I'm just an empty vase, huh?
Monica: Y'know, so I don't read as many important books as you do, and I don't write trick poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else. And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when I my People magazine comes on Saturday, and the new Hold Everything catalog. Y'know but that does not mean that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have no right to make that kind of judgment about me.
[Scene: Joey's audition, the director has returned and wants to see the combination.]
Director: Let's try it again, and this time let's watch everybody watch Joey. (to Joey) Show 'em how it's done. (to the pianist) Count it off.
(The pianist starts to play, and Joey readies himself, and then runs out of the audition.)
Ross: (sits down next to her) I'm sorry, I was an idiot.
Ross: A big idiot. Just you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is kinda hard for me.
Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away.
Rachel: Honey, that's very sweet, it just seems to me though, that if two people love each other and trust each other, like we do, there's no reason to be jealous. (she kisses him)
Ross: Oh, I've got to go pick up Ben, we've got a play date this afternoon.
Ross: Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree class. Why, is that okay?
Rachel: Noo, I y'know I don't see why she has to play with you, that's all. I mean doesn't she have any y'know other stripper moms friends of her own?
Rachel: (to Chandler) Well, there's a kiss that he won't forget for a couple of hours, y'know.
Chandler: Yeah. Either that, or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper.
Julio: (to him) I am Julio.
Quartet: Your no God's gift to women, that's all in your headdddd. You are just a buttmunch.
Melissa: Okay. (To Phoebe) Well, it was great meeting you. And uh Rachel, I-I dont think Ill be calling you (hails a cab) because umm, yknow youve gotten weird. (The cab pulls up.) Take care you guys.
Ross: Aw forget it, its from Pier One. (Theres an angry knock on the door.) Sorry. (Goes and opens the door to an irate Dr. Green.)
Chandler: So, has anyone talked to Dr. and Mrs. Geller yet?
Monica: What happened to Janine?
Phoebe: All right, I can't sit here anymore. I have to walk places. (She puts on her fur coat.)
Phoebe: Oh, sure! (She gets up to leave.) Bye Ross! (Whispering behind his back.) Forever.
Monica: (to everyone) It's Chandler! (on phone) Are you OK?
Joey: (not quite sure of how to answer that) Well uh, look Ross I uh, I think Carols great and Im sure youre a very attractive man, but I .
Emily: Okay. (Goes to say hi to the lads.)
Director: (To Joey) Okay, youre dancing with that girl over there.
[Scene: The Airport Ticket Counter, Monica and Chandler are standing in line behind another couple kissing who are next in line to be served.]
Monica: Ok, let's see... Oh, the cranberry sauce, it is easy to make and no-one really cares about it.
Ross: Ah, well, it means that I can sell cookies, but Im not invited to sleep-overs.
Phoebe: Yes. Yes! Fine! I am someone! You want me to say it? I have doubts! (Pause) I'm sorry! (Puts her head down.)
Ross: Well, technically it seven billion years ago (Well, technically youd be able to see it for days, well nights; that is if you could see it with all of the bright lights of New York.)
Phoebe: Rach, look! (she holds two buns up to her ears to make her hair look like the Princess Leia 'do.) Oh, hi! Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me. (Ross stands up horrified) There he is.
JOEY: Alright... I've got to go shower. [leaves]
Monica: (to the restuarant customers) Excuse me, excuse me, hi, I'm Monica Geller..I'm the head chef here.. (pauses as if waiting for something).. Ok, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever! Ok, quick question: by a show of hands, how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside? (a few people raise their hands)
Chandler: Yeah, well, good luck trying to top the last one.
Monica: If only there were a smaller one to clean this one!
ROSS: Look, do you love her? And you don't have to be too emphatic about this.
Ross: I know and I was going to, but I thought it was better that you heard it from Rachels father. Look I I made a mistake, but its only because I really, really like you. Really!
Chandler: Do we have to make the entire thing?
Monica: Yes! Why, did youyou forget to make yours?
(She opens the door to reveal Chandler and Ross. Unfortunately, they seem to have their holidays mixed up. They think it's Halloween and they're going as Crockett and Tubbs from that legendary TV show of the late 80's, Miami Vice. God, we looked silly back then!)
Monica: Okay, I think I get how to do this.
Monica: Something went wrong with Underdog, and they couldn't get his head to inflate. So anyway, um, his head is like flopping down Broadway, right, and I'm just thinking... how inappropriate this is. Um, I've got something in my eye, uh, Joey, could we check it in the light, please?
(Monica gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is startled to see Joey sitting in Monicas seat.)
Rachel: (laughs) Yknow when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.]
(Phoebe puts the globe right up next to her eye to try and find the country.)
Chandler: I cant figure out what to make Monica.
Rachel: How does going to a strip club help him better?
Rachel: Was that all you wanted to ask me?
Monica: Well, Id like to but, (extremely quietly) Im not sure we have time to go.
Ross: I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. (He laughs, his real laugh this time.) What you're-you're not mad?
Ross: Im gonna get you to talk to Chandler.
Joey: Hey, so listen, I went across the street and talked to the doorman- I got the peeper's name! Can I use the phone?
Ross: Yeah, yeah, I was watching. (The instructor just nods and walks away.) Umm, hey, a couple of questions though. Umm, about that-that-that last move where the woman tripped you and then pinned you to the floor, what-what-what-what would you do next?
Joey: (to Carl) Pizza!! We like Pizza!! Get out!!! (Carl does so.)
(He turns to get his coat and Monica gives Rachel and Phoebe two thumbs up as Chandler walks over to Ross.)
Chandler: (approaching) Here you go Joe, heres the freshly squeezed orange juice you asked for. (Hands it to him.)
Ross: Look, is Rachel here? I really need to talk to her.
The Flight Attendant: (To Ross) Hope you had a nice flight.
Joey: Look, Ross, really its-its no big deal. Yknow you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we cant be friends at work, then so be it. Yknow, hey I understand. Yknow? Hey, when Im in a play and youre in the audience, I dont talk to you, right? So its yknow, its uh, its cool. Ill see you tomorrow. (Leaves)
(Joey closes the door and ties the balloons to the knob. Then he walks away, holding the hand of an inflated balloon animal he had brought.)
(Monica pushes play and The Way You Look Tonight starts to play.)
Joey: Nope-op! I insist! (He hugs Chandler again and whispers to him.) You get the wine right?
Joey: (entering) Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools?
Joey: The big deal is that it is the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and its at the perfect angle so you dont get any glare coming of off Stevie.
Ross: Oh hey, Gary, want me to grab the berry for ya?
Chandler: (To Joey) In a minute? Whats gonna happen in a minute?!
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting up by the window because two guys have their couch.]
CHANDLER: (Hangs his jacket over the suitcase, locks the door, then turns to Monica.)� Oh well, look at you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there, waiting to tell Frank and Alice the news.]
Monica: Well honestly ever since we got engaged I have been waiting for something to, to flip you out.
Ursula: Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess thatd be okay.
[Cut to Earls office, who is played by Jason Alexander, George from Seinfeld. They cut back and forth between Phoebes and Earls offices with each of their lines.]
Phoebe: Well, you're not, (she tries to smile and contain her anger, but loses it) You're not... you're not... again, you're not SPEAKING FRENCH!
Phoebe: But I don't think I can! it was ok to move in when I didn't know what was gonna happen, but I can't move in knowing that nothing is ever gonna happen.
Phoebe: (to Bonnie) Well I hope you have fun tonight.
Joey: You dont have to worry about that okay?
(They start to go inside.)
Ross: Gotcha. (Starts to leave.)
Joey: Shes right in there. (motions to the living room)
Chandler: (about to cry) Am not!
[Cut to Monica out on the balcony.]
Phoebe: I dont know, but were having dinner tomorrow night, so I figured, shes gonna tell me then. Y'know maybe she just wanted to give him time to, buy me presents, I dont know! So, youre all bored?
(As they start back down the couch drops a little bit and gets jammed. They try to free it to no avail.)
Rachel: Oh, well thank you for taking your tongue out of my sisters mouth long enough to tell me that.
CHAN: Didn't you used to call it the Little Major?
Ross: Okay! Okay! But if she doesnt call, it is definitely over! No, wait. Wait. Unless, eventually, I call her, yknow just to she whats going on, and, and she says shell call me back, but then she doesnt. Then its over.
Chandler: (to Joey) My lighters in there! (points to the cab)
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
Rachel: And Chandler, youre gonna have to watch those long showers you take in the morning because you know Raquel cant be late.
Roger: Well, I don't know. I mean, it's conceivable that you wanted to sabotage your marriage so that the sibling would feel less of a failure in the eyes of the parents.
[Cut to Joeys, hes on the phone.]
Ross: (To Carol) No tongue. (And gives her the thumbs up.)
Mona: Id be happy to. (To Ross) You are very sweet.
Joey: Yeah. (He goes over to her.)
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
Chandler: (to Ross) Ah, it's just a weekend, big deal!
PHOE: Oh, um, it was nice. Took him to a romantic restraunt, ordered champagne, nice.
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
Rachel: Everybody? Shh, shhh. Uhhh... Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay.
(Monica gets behind him and in combination with his sliding the chair forward and her pushing with her leg manages to get up to the table.)
Elizabeth: Do you not want to be seen with me?
Joey: OK, you've got to promise that you'll never, ever tell Ross that I told you.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you!
Phoebe: Nothing! You have apologized to her like a million times and shes been nothing but terrible to you. And dont forget you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower, and she hasnt even thanked you for it.
[Cut back to the present.]
Rachel: Oh! I used to do that too!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is holding a football helmet; and apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat him senseless. (Luckily it isnt a long trip.) Because hes made a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of all those free surgeries he can get now since hes re-established his health insurance.]
Ross: Oh, whatever. (Laughs and gives Joey the thumbs up heading back to his apartment. Joey follows him)
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is talking. It looks like when Rachel and Monica lived in this apartment.]
MR. GREENE: I have to be heading to my chateau, thank you.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's hotel room, Rachel is still trying to get the ink off and Ross is on the phone to the company. Wait a minute, why exactly are they sharing a hotel room? Didn't they like break-up or something? Did I miss a memo? Or maybe, it's just foreshadowing things to come. Who knows? Maybe the answer's at the bottom of the page. Then again, maybe it isn't and it's just one of those things TV writers just don't explain. Anyhoo ]
Joey: Okay, look, I think we have to tell Rachel she messed up her dessert.
Chandler: Yeah, I wanna go to babe.