words in movies
Chandler: Pheebs you didnt have to get us anything for our wedding you already sang
Phoebe: I didnt know where to put it so I just left it here for now.
Monica: All right. (He goes to push it and it doesnt move.)
Ross: Hey! Oh, Im so glad you guys are here. Ive been dying to tell someone what happened in the Paleontology department today.
Joey: (To Rachel) Do you think he saw us or can we still sneak out?
Ross: No, I get to teach one of his advanced classes! (Pause) Why didnt I get head of the department? (Goes and gets some coffee.)
Rachel: Yeah! Oh, and then afterwards you can take her to the Four Seasons for drinks. Or you go downtown and listen to some jazz. Or dancingOh! Take her dancing!
Joey: You sure are naming a lot of ways to postpone sex, Ill tell ya
Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. Im not gonna be able to do that for so long, and its so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
Rachel: What?! Joey, you dont want to go on a date with a pregnant lady.
Chandler: Why do you want to play this game so bad?
Monica: Okay. Phoebe thats it. Come on, get outout of the chair. Get out! (She goes to move Phoebe, but Phoebe goes limp and Monica cant move her.) Oh come Phoebe!
Rachel: Joey? Could you get that? (There is no answer and she goes and opens the door to Joey.) What are you doing here? I thought you were in your room?
Joey: And, a brownie! (Hands her a bag with the brownie in it.) Well, half a brownie. Actually, its just bag. Its been a long walk from the flower shop and I was startin to feel faint so
Rachel: Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like Im going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and Im wearing underwear that goes up to about (She snaps the waistband on her underwear that is just slightly below her breasts) there.
Joey: Hey come on now, this is a real date. Uh, so nice place you got here. Foosball, huh? Pizza box. Oh, a subscription to Playboy, my kind of woman.
Joey: I would like to meet him. He sounds like a stand up guy.
Joey: Oh yeah, it must be tough to keep your hands of him, huh?
Joey: No-no-no-no, hes not! No! Why are you trying to ruin the game? Come on!
Ross: which brings us back, of course, to Greelys theory of dominance. (The bell rings.) Okay, that-thats all for today. Oh, uh does anyone know where the Freeman building is?
Ross: What?! That-thats all the way cross town, Im supposed to teach a graduate seminar there in ten minutes.
(Ross grabs his things and runs to the door only to be blocked by his exiting students.)
Ross: Hello. (He throws his jacket towards the coat rack and misses.) Im sorry Im a little late. Ah(Checks his watch)Whoa! A lot late. Let me start by uh, by introducing myself, I am Professor Geller. (The bell rings.) So to sum up, Im Professor Geller. Good job today.
Rachel: Wow! This is shaping up to be a pretty good dateOh, I almost forgot. I didnt pay you the rent check.
Rachel: Okay. Wow! So I get to see what Joey Tribbiani is like on a date. So do you have any moves?
Joey: Oh alright. Umm, well, okay, I usually start by having a bottle of wine sent to my table from a fan.
Joey: Well it does when you combine it with, "This is so embarrassing, I just want to have a normal life!"
Joey: Oh okay, how about this one. I was gonna wait until the end of the night to kiss you, but youre so beautiful I dont think I can.
Rachel: And so were-were you close to your parents?
Joey: I dont know. I guess theres just always been this distance yknowI mean we both try to pretend its not there, but it is.
Rachel: Thank you! And now if youll excuse me, I have to go to the rest room.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is entering to find Chandler playing Ms. Pac-Man.]
Chandler: You are not going to believe what I did today!
Chandler: I got good. I played this game all day and now I rule at it! They should change the name of it to Ms. Chandler. (Pause) Although I-I hope they dont.
Monica: Wait a minute, you stayed home all day and played Ms. Pac-Man while I went off to work like some kind of chump?!
Chandler: Uh-huh, and I got all the top ten scores, I erased Phoebe off the board! High five! (Holds up his hand to give Monica a high five, only he cant straighten his fingers.)
Monica: Ah, well if you dont clear this off, you wont be getting one of those from me. But Bens coming over here tomorrow to play this game, this cant be there.
Chandler: Have you talked to him lately?
Chandler: No-no-no, if you unplug it, Ill have nothing to show for my day! It would be like I was at work. (She unplugs it.) No! (And plugs it back in.) Hey look at that! Look at that, its still there! This thing must have some kind of primitive ROM (Read Only Memory, its a memory chip.) Chip in it or something!
Monica: Honey you-you got to beat your scores!
Monica: All right fine. Fine, Ill do it. Ive just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.
Joey: Oh come on! Just pick one! Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross if you had to, if you had to, who would you punch?
Joey: Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.
Joey: Yeah, like a moth to a flame, Im telling ya. Okay all right, so now you go.
Rachel: No, I dont want to tell you.
Rachel: All right, I gotta go to bed. Honey, I had such a wonderful time.
Joey: Oh. (She kisses him.) Yeah. (She goes into her room.) Me to. (He then starts to freak out.)
Rachel: you were 50 minutes late to the class, what did you crawl there?!
Rachel: Well youre not gonna be able to keep doing this.
Ross: Well I have to. Okay? If I dont, theyll take the class away from me. And I already put it in my family newsletter.
Ross: Besides, I-I think I figured out a much faster route, Im sure I can make it this time. I just I just cant be afraid to get a little bit hit by cars. (He goes to the bathroom as Joey enters.)
Joey: Have you ever tried to sit through Citizen Kane?
Joey: Yeah well thats because uh I stayed in my room. Yeah, you dont want to look in my hamper.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
Ross: Yeah!!!! Yes, I made it! Im on time! (Grabs a bottle of water from a student, takes a drink, and splashes some on his face like the marathon runners do.) Okay, why dont we all uh, (Exhales loudly) open our books to page 23. Where (Exhales again) Where you will see a uh a bunch of uh red spots. Okay, (Closes his book.) umm, why dont, why dont you all start to read, while I(Passes out and collapses.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, now its Phoebes turn to erase Chandler from the board.]
Chandler: One more score to go! You can do it! (Touches her shoulder.)
(At this point a stream of obscenities burst forth from Phoebes mouth just in time for Ben and Ross to enter and hear most of it, and in slow motion Ross tries to shield his innocent son from Phoebes vulgarity.)
Joey: Hey, did you get to the part where theyre trapped in the car and Cujos throwin himself at the windshield?
Rachel: No! No! Seriously, whats wrong with the dog?! Wait a minute, what are you doing home so early? What happened to your date?
Rachel: Oh. Do you want to watch the rest of the movie with me?
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
Rachel: Oh my God .Whats he gonna do now? I cant watch! (Drags Joey closer to her and cowers into his chest.) Oh. Seriously, how can you watch this? Arent you scared?
[Scene: N.Y.U, Rosss new class, this time hes actually about to do a lecture.]
Ross: So is everybody here? I got here a little early myself. Let us begin. Now, the hydrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations. (He moves to the map and we see why he made it to class on time, hes wearing in-line skates and hasnt taken them off.) Here. (Points to the map, somewhere in the Middle East, then spins on the skates and points to the map.) Here. (China.) Now as for the hydrosaurs
(He tries to move in front of the class, only goes out of control and rolls into the hall, catching himself on the doorway with his pointer. He then pulls himself back into the room with the pointer, only he jams one end of it between the door frame and the door and breaks the pointer in half.)
JANICE: And what? Missed the expression on your face? Janice likes to have her fun.
Monica: I cant! I have to work!
Joey: Hey, that's why I didn't invite you. you have to calm down, alright... go, go get yourself a drink or something...
Chandler: Yes! Ross, you have to stay!
Monica: (not amused by Chandlers joke) I miss Rachel. (To Chandler) No, my parents.
Ross: Yeah! Anyway, I-I still think we should try to patch things up, yknow? Like uh, maybe we could get him to get tickets to another Knicks game and invite him.
Phoebe: I don't know. But, God, Joey seems to be handling it suprisingly well.
Ross: All right, see you guys. (starts to leave)
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
Phoebe: Perhaps because you gave her an engagement ring? Yknow Ross doctors are supposed to be smart.
Ross: (To Joey) Sir Limps-A-Lot, I came up with that.
Chandler: Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred.
Joey: Ye-ye, we go to yours!
Joey: Is it her fault that some of them didnt make it to you?
Phoebe: (to Joey) Youre Franks best man?!
Ross: (to the crowd in the laundromat) All right, show's over. Nothing to see here. (to Rachel) Ok, let's do laundry.
(Rachel unlocks and opens the door to reveal a half-naked Chandler handcuffed to the chair. They both gasp and Chandler stares at them in shock and surprise.)
Ross: You've got to help me my monkey swallowed a 'K'!
Rachel: Thank you. (To Monica) Mon?
Chandler: Yes, and I have to say, I am not just hurt. I am insulted. When I tell somebody I did something...
(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table. Ross is upset)
Phoebe: Oh no, don't hate, you don't want to put that out into the universe.
Barry: We can, we can go to Aruba! When I went there on what would have been our honeymoon, it was, uh... it was really nice. You would've liked it.
Rachel: Ohh, gee. I wonder why she thinks youre going to call her?
Ross: Okay, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Phoebe are there, both ready to break up with their significant others.]
Monica: You heard him! "No bigger!" "You're perfect!" "Just don't get any bigger!" Oh my god he sounded just like my high school wrestling coach. You know what? I'm going to have to talk to Chandler.
Kathy: Can I borrow the keys to your apartment?
Joey: Yeah but we wont be able to like get up in the middle of the night and have those long talks about our feelings and the future.
Rachel: How are you? (She goes to kiss him on the cheek, but stops because of the dates and pats him on the shoulder.)
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
CHANDLER: Because sometimes, Phoebe after you sleep with someone, you have to kill the fish.
Ross: I don't know. I could talk to her boss. Yeah! I met him at that Christmas party. We really hit it off.
Chandler: It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. Im going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves; therefore knows how expensive it is. Then when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast Im just gonna propose.
Monica: What if it's new? I mean, we agreed not to talk again, unless we had something really important to say. Shouldn't I call him back?
RACH: Oh, well, that's, that's mighty big of you, Ross. [to the others] I said don't go!
Chandler: Are they end to end, or tall like pancakes?
Amanda: Let’s see.. to assure you get this directly, ring me back on my mobile.
Phoebe: Okay, whatever. Yknow what? I dont have time have time to convince you because hes only here for four hours, and Im gonna go see him! (Gets up and leaves.)
Chandler: Yknow what? I am going to take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers . (Monica doesnt look impressed.) No? Really? They taste so good.
Charlie: Well... I'm just thinking that maybe he's not the right guy to be with right now, maybe I should be with someone... I have more in common with. You know what I mean?
Chandler: I talked to Janice.
Doug: (to Chandler) You! Chuckles! Whats your name?
Joey: (sipping red wine from a glass) Who says that wine has to cost more than milk!
Ross: So, I uhm... kinda need to talk to you about Charlie.
Issac: I can promise not to tell her again.
Ross: Well what is it? Is it a mole? (He moves closer to them, and they jump back.)
EDDIE: Hey man, check it out, I got some great stuff to dehydrate here. I got some grapes, got some apricots, I thought it would be really cool to see what happens with these water balloons.
(Monica goes to the door.� Chandler slides behind it as she opens it slightly.)
Monica: But it didnt. Say hello to Mrs. Chatracus.
Cecilia: But Well now, nows a different time for me. (Starts to cry.)
Chandler: You wanna tell secrets?! Okay! Okay! In college, Ross used to wear leg warmers!
Rachel: All right, fine, but dont get mad at me. Its-its just a little hard to believe.
[Scene: The plane. Rachel's telling her story to the passenger on her left. The one on her left is still wearing his headphones.]
Allesandro: I want to talk to you about your review.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch. A waitress brings a coffee and Phoebe wants to pay.]
Ross: Here. (Hands her, her cough drops) (to Rachel) At least I made ten bucks in my relationship.
Parker: Fine! Well then to quote Ross, "Id better be going."
Monica: (to Phoebe) Quick, take off your dress, he wont notice the bed.
The Stripper: Okay, who are you? The Hardy boys? Look, I dont need to steal some stupid ring, all right? I make $1,600 a week doing what I do; any of you guys make that?
Ross: (just trying to get out of the conversation) Ah well, cant blame a guy for trying!
Monica: Does it have to do with Joey?
Phoebe: It's amazing! You better hurry up and fill out an application or I'm gonna beat you to it.
Joey: It's okay. You know, I totally understand, alright? You guys, make way more sense than her and I ever did, you know. And... I want you to be happy.
Joey: (walking towards her to hold her and support her) Monica, you understand what we are saying, right?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, The One With George Stephanopoulos, Phoebe is showing Monica and Rachel that she brought Operation to their slumber party.]
Jay Leno: (on TV) Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one.
The Director: Hey, lovely! Come, talk to me a minute! (she goes over to him)
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)
Phoebe: Because I think it means more to you.
RACHEL: Did, did he just, did he, did he just say, he said bye. He said bye. You said, you said bye to me. You said bye to me.
Charity guy: Wow! Are you here to make another donation the same day? I don’t think that that’s ever happened before.
Phoebe: Shes right! You have to stop!
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are getting ready to go to the airport.]
Phoebe: Well then, (to Ross) what about you?! Huh?!
Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?
Chandler: Look all I know is when Monica and I went to see them, we had fun! And theres another reason too.
Joey: (annoyed) I dont know! (Goes back to looking through the pipe.) (Pause) Yeah, I do.
Phoebe: No that is the last thing you want to do!
Monica: Oh no-no-no, its only one night a week, and plus I get to take all of you out for a lot of free dinners.
Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone.
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
Chandler: Okay, give me a chance to win my money back. Okay? Sudden death, one goal, $1,000.
Charlie: I don't know what to say, Benji. This is all so.... romantic.
Chandler: Okay, here is the phone bill. (Hands it to Joey.)
Chandler: Ok, I think she's trying to tell us something. Quick, get the verbs.
Rachel: Y�guys ever heard the story about when Rosses mom went to the beauty salon?
Monica: Why dont you just stop doing stupid things? Then you wouldnt have to apologize.
Joey: Just what needs to be done! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman
Monica: I know! I know! I am a terrible person! I mean, Chandler is never going to trust me with anything ever again!
Monica: (pointing to the kitchen) Yeah you will! (Points to the bedroom) And, are you kiddin me?!
Rachel: (to Phoebe) You said she was bald.
Monica: Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not gonna happen. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around.) Don't do the dance.
Monica: Phoebe, she sounded pretty upset to me.
Chandler: No, Im afraid I wont be able to make love as well as him.
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Phoebe: I sang. (To Monica) Hah!
ROSS: (takes the phone, but speaks to Mike) I don't understand what just happened here.