words in movies
Chandler: Pheebs you didnt have to get us anything for our wedding you already sang
Phoebe: I didnt know where to put it so I just left it here for now.
Monica: All right. (He goes to push it and it doesnt move.)
Ross: Hey! Oh, Im so glad you guys are here. Ive been dying to tell someone what happened in the Paleontology department today.
Joey: (To Rachel) Do you think he saw us or can we still sneak out?
Ross: No, I get to teach one of his advanced classes! (Pause) Why didnt I get head of the department? (Goes and gets some coffee.)
Rachel: Yeah! Oh, and then afterwards you can take her to the Four Seasons for drinks. Or you go downtown and listen to some jazz. Or dancingOh! Take her dancing!
Joey: You sure are naming a lot of ways to postpone sex, Ill tell ya
Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. Im not gonna be able to do that for so long, and its so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
Rachel: What?! Joey, you dont want to go on a date with a pregnant lady.
Chandler: Why do you want to play this game so bad?
Monica: Okay. Phoebe thats it. Come on, get outout of the chair. Get out! (She goes to move Phoebe, but Phoebe goes limp and Monica cant move her.) Oh come Phoebe!
Rachel: Joey? Could you get that? (There is no answer and she goes and opens the door to Joey.) What are you doing here? I thought you were in your room?
Joey: And, a brownie! (Hands her a bag with the brownie in it.) Well, half a brownie. Actually, its just bag. Its been a long walk from the flower shop and I was startin to feel faint so
Rachel: Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like Im going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and Im wearing underwear that goes up to about (She snaps the waistband on her underwear that is just slightly below her breasts) there.
Joey: Hey come on now, this is a real date. Uh, so nice place you got here. Foosball, huh? Pizza box. Oh, a subscription to Playboy, my kind of woman.
Joey: I would like to meet him. He sounds like a stand up guy.
Joey: Oh yeah, it must be tough to keep your hands of him, huh?
Joey: No-no-no-no, hes not! No! Why are you trying to ruin the game? Come on!
Ross: which brings us back, of course, to Greelys theory of dominance. (The bell rings.) Okay, that-thats all for today. Oh, uh does anyone know where the Freeman building is?
Ross: What?! That-thats all the way cross town, Im supposed to teach a graduate seminar there in ten minutes.
(Ross grabs his things and runs to the door only to be blocked by his exiting students.)
Ross: Hello. (He throws his jacket towards the coat rack and misses.) Im sorry Im a little late. Ah(Checks his watch)Whoa! A lot late. Let me start by uh, by introducing myself, I am Professor Geller. (The bell rings.) So to sum up, Im Professor Geller. Good job today.
Rachel: Wow! This is shaping up to be a pretty good dateOh, I almost forgot. I didnt pay you the rent check.
Rachel: Okay. Wow! So I get to see what Joey Tribbiani is like on a date. So do you have any moves?
Joey: Oh alright. Umm, well, okay, I usually start by having a bottle of wine sent to my table from a fan.
Joey: Well it does when you combine it with, "This is so embarrassing, I just want to have a normal life!"
Joey: Oh okay, how about this one. I was gonna wait until the end of the night to kiss you, but youre so beautiful I dont think I can.
Rachel: And so were-were you close to your parents?
Joey: I dont know. I guess theres just always been this distance yknowI mean we both try to pretend its not there, but it is.
Rachel: Thank you! And now if youll excuse me, I have to go to the rest room.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is entering to find Chandler playing Ms. Pac-Man.]
Chandler: You are not going to believe what I did today!
Chandler: I got good. I played this game all day and now I rule at it! They should change the name of it to Ms. Chandler. (Pause) Although I-I hope they dont.
Monica: Wait a minute, you stayed home all day and played Ms. Pac-Man while I went off to work like some kind of chump?!
Chandler: Uh-huh, and I got all the top ten scores, I erased Phoebe off the board! High five! (Holds up his hand to give Monica a high five, only he cant straighten his fingers.)
Monica: Ah, well if you dont clear this off, you wont be getting one of those from me. But Bens coming over here tomorrow to play this game, this cant be there.
Chandler: Have you talked to him lately?
Chandler: No-no-no, if you unplug it, Ill have nothing to show for my day! It would be like I was at work. (She unplugs it.) No! (And plugs it back in.) Hey look at that! Look at that, its still there! This thing must have some kind of primitive ROM (Read Only Memory, its a memory chip.) Chip in it or something!
Monica: Honey you-you got to beat your scores!
Monica: All right fine. Fine, Ill do it. Ive just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.
Joey: Oh come on! Just pick one! Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross if you had to, if you had to, who would you punch?
Joey: Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.
Joey: Yeah, like a moth to a flame, Im telling ya. Okay all right, so now you go.
Rachel: No, I dont want to tell you.
Rachel: All right, I gotta go to bed. Honey, I had such a wonderful time.
Joey: Oh. (She kisses him.) Yeah. (She goes into her room.) Me to. (He then starts to freak out.)
Rachel: you were 50 minutes late to the class, what did you crawl there?!
Rachel: Well youre not gonna be able to keep doing this.
Ross: Well I have to. Okay? If I dont, theyll take the class away from me. And I already put it in my family newsletter.
Ross: Besides, I-I think I figured out a much faster route, Im sure I can make it this time. I just I just cant be afraid to get a little bit hit by cars. (He goes to the bathroom as Joey enters.)
Joey: Have you ever tried to sit through Citizen Kane?
Joey: Yeah well thats because uh I stayed in my room. Yeah, you dont want to look in my hamper.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
Ross: Yeah!!!! Yes, I made it! Im on time! (Grabs a bottle of water from a student, takes a drink, and splashes some on his face like the marathon runners do.) Okay, why dont we all uh, (Exhales loudly) open our books to page 23. Where (Exhales again) Where you will see a uh a bunch of uh red spots. Okay, (Closes his book.) umm, why dont, why dont you all start to read, while I(Passes out and collapses.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, now its Phoebes turn to erase Chandler from the board.]
Chandler: One more score to go! You can do it! (Touches her shoulder.)
(At this point a stream of obscenities burst forth from Phoebes mouth just in time for Ben and Ross to enter and hear most of it, and in slow motion Ross tries to shield his innocent son from Phoebes vulgarity.)
Joey: Hey, did you get to the part where theyre trapped in the car and Cujos throwin himself at the windshield?
Rachel: No! No! Seriously, whats wrong with the dog?! Wait a minute, what are you doing home so early? What happened to your date?
Rachel: Oh. Do you want to watch the rest of the movie with me?
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
Rachel: Oh my God .Whats he gonna do now? I cant watch! (Drags Joey closer to her and cowers into his chest.) Oh. Seriously, how can you watch this? Arent you scared?
[Scene: N.Y.U, Rosss new class, this time hes actually about to do a lecture.]
Ross: So is everybody here? I got here a little early myself. Let us begin. Now, the hydrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations. (He moves to the map and we see why he made it to class on time, hes wearing in-line skates and hasnt taken them off.) Here. (Points to the map, somewhere in the Middle East, then spins on the skates and points to the map.) Here. (China.) Now as for the hydrosaurs
(He tries to move in front of the class, only goes out of control and rolls into the hall, catching himself on the doorway with his pointer. He then pulls himself back into the room with the pointer, only he jams one end of it between the door frame and the door and breaks the pointer in half.)
The Cooking Teacher: (To Monica) Oh! Something smells good over at Monicas station! (She tries Monicas fettuccini.) Oh my God! This is absolutely amazing! Youve never made this before?
Ross: I have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy.
Joey: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.
Monica: Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once.
Mr. Geller: Oh yeah, well who serves steak when theres no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this?
Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's... it's... y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into showbusiness.
Susan: Hey, its so nice to finally meet you!
Chandler: Here goes. (He walks over to her but just stands there.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Charlie: Ross, can I talk to you for a minute?
Chandler: Varrrrrroom! Hey! Watch it lady! Varrrrrrrrrrom! (makes a screeching sound as he pretends to stomp on the brakes.) Hey-hey good lookin! (honks the beds little horn on the steering wheel.) Varrrrrrrrroom. (notices Rachel and stops) All right, Ill leave. My beds so boring.
Joey: They have a kid together, y'know. Theyre like, theyre like a family, and if, I dont know, theres chance they could make that work, I know I wouldnt want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?
Emily: I miss you to. Well, at least I think I do.
Monica: No, I have just to have two more points to beat him!
Joey: (standing up) I will sit with you Dr. Geller. (He goes over to his table and they shake hands.)
Monica: (to Chandler) Honey, you don't have to do this.
Rachel: Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome.
(They walk over to the playpen.)
Kim: (to Nancy) So we talked about the (Chandler sneaks closer to her cigarette) whole presentation yesterday at lunch (Closer) and he wondered if one person would be enough (Closer) to get a take on the trip (Still closer) and I said, "Yeah, absolutely!" (She's interrupted by Chandler who has reached his goal and takes a drag from her cancer stick.)
JOEY: You and Milton have to join us on the boat. Karen'll pack a lunch, you'll bring the kids, we'll make a day of it.
Phoebe: Oh. Okay, well I-I was kinda hoping that I would just be alone yknow to think about my mom and her suicide.
Ross: Its a little early to be drinkin.
Sid: (To Janice) Whatd he say?
Rachel: (taking the phone and hanging it up) Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
Ursula: Oh. No, no, he is so smart. He'll figure it out. (Offering to share her food) Do you want some chicken?
Ross: Once Monica was sent to her room without dinner, so she ate the macaroni off a jewelry box shed made.
Chandler: I cant talk to you now, I gotta find Monica!
Amy: Its such a slap in the face. I'm your sister and you would give your baby to these strangers over me.
Rachel: Joey! Why did we have to rush out of there so fast?!
Jamie: No, no, no. We were there last night. She kept... (shuddering at the memory) ..bringing swordfish. (Indicating the ladies bathroom) are you gonna go to the, um?
Phoebe: Y'know you guys were a lot more supportive when I wanted to make denim furniture.
Amanda: (noticing the bottle of wine he has) Oh, I don't mean to be a square, but I'd really appreciate it if you wait and drink your wine after the kids are asleep? Oh uh, thanks for this, I hope I can do the same for you sometime. (She leaves)
Monica: Man, I knew it! I knew you were going to do this!!
[Sequence 4: Ross hikes the ball to Chandler, and the camera pans down to show Rachel standing deep in the end zone, playing with her gum. Something hits her on the head and she looks up to see where it came from.]
Ross: The big deal is I dont want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzlebeer! Cold beer.
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross!
[Scene: Madison Square Garden. Mike and Phoebe are walking to their seats.]
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
Rachel: Yeah... Yeah, we can wait, we don't have to do anything tonight.
Policeman: Its Petty. (He grabs Rosss license.) Ill be right back with your ticket. (Walks back to his car.)
Ross: You guys ready to go?
Phoebe: Well, I told you I had to spend all the day clearing out stuff, so Mike could move in.
CHANDLER: Ok, you can have it. [He licks it and offers it to her.]
Charlie: So, did you talk to Joey?
Chandler: I know, I know, but youre gonna have plenty of chances. There are literally thousands of women out there just waiting to screw me over.
Rachel: Oh, that's why you got these tickets to that play, to get rid of us??
(Switch to Phoebe and Mike, who are kissing)
Rachel (to Steve): Look, you know what, I'm sorry, but did you really think that this was going well? (To Monica.) What's up?
(cut to Charlie and Ross)
(Ross gets up and gestures to Rachel, we cut to Joey and Rachel)
Monica: Yeah, I do think its better this way. (listens) Yeah, were being smart. (gets up to answer the door) (listens) Yes, Im sure.(she opens the door and its Richard)
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, everyone minus Ross are arriving to inspect the damage. The fire department is still there.]
Chandler: You go back to work tomorrow night, right?
Monica: I'm sorry, why is this girl going to call me?
Ross: (returning from the phone.) So, I just picked up a message from Emily, she and Susan are going to a poetry reading together!
Monica: Okay, heres your milk. What do you want to talk about? (She sees that Chandler has fallen asleep and slams the door loudly to wake him up.)
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
MIKE: (releases a whoosh of air) Ya know, I'm going to take off.
[Cut to the interview.]
Waitress: Hey Monica, theres a customer who wants to complement the chef, should I let him in?
Chandler: Y'know what? You should go to my guy, because when I went in there with my third nipple. He just lopped it right off. Y'know? So I guess I'm lucky. I mean not as lucky as people who were born with two nipples.
Joey: Oh, thats, thats ah, one of the old ones, hes just taking it to the back.
[Scene: An aircraft cabin, Ross and Rachel are on their way to Vegas.]
Chandler: Y'know what, it doesnt matter, cause she picked me. Me! From now on I get the dates and you have to stay home on Saturday nights watching Ready, Set, Cook!
Monica: Good! Now I need you to be careful and efficient. And remember, if I am harsh with you, it is only because you are doing it wrong.
Ross: Okay, I have a problem I have to go into work for a few hours, some kids messed up the Homo Sapien display.
Phoebe: Well, one of you has to take the first step! And it should be you, because shes the one whos leaving. Its harder for her!
Phoebe: Im sorry, but I just wrote the best dance song for your wedding. Check this out. (Gets ready to play.)
Chandler: This is what I want to do.
[they all jump in the street and prepare to fight]
(Larry goes to leave but heads the wrong way and makes a quick sidestep to go out the right door.)
Monica: Oh, when you get over this breakup we need to go shopping.
Phoebe: Good to see you.
Phoebe: Oh no, Rach, no no, you know youre never supposed to wake a sleeping baby.
Phoebe: Oh, I got tired of naming states. So I decided to list the types of celery, and I have one: regular celery.
Frank Jr.: Good to see you, too.
Joey: (to Kathy) I'll be right back. (to Chandler) What was that?
Rachel: Gee, I always heard them talk about that, I just always thought that it was a club they went to. Oh God, Im, Im sorry. (walks away)
(Charlie walks up to them.)
Alice: Umm, actually, I came down to ask you a big favour.
Phoebe: I know. Its just yknow usually when youre, when youre done with the pregnant thing, yknow, then you get to do the mom thing. Im gonna be yknow, sitting around in my leather pants, drinking Tequila.
(Joey starts trying to undo her bra, but it won’t go.The elastic band snaps back, hurting Rachel.)
(They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.)
Ross: Oh, now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, I think it's endearing.
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
(Chandler tries to come up with a good answer.)
Hotel Clerk: I think you'll find this room more to your liking.
(He runs off to the kitchen.)
Ross: No. I... I wanted to be with you. I dont know, I feel like lately, I feel like youre slipping away from me, y'know. With this new job, and all these new people, and youve got this whole other life going on. I-I-I know its dumb, but I hate that Im not a part of it.
Chandler: We have to leave!!
Ross: Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey.
Ross: Well, I do! Why don't we go back to my place, light a couple of candles, break open a box of Cinnamon Fruit Toasties, uh...
The Interviewer: (To Joey) Yknow I think its great you wanted to meet here. Yknow when most people hear the magazine is paying for it they want to go to a big fancy restaurant.
Rachel: (to Monica): Thank you. (to Ross): I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven.
Monica: Limited seating my ass. Lets see who made the cut. (To the couple sitting to her right.) Hi!
(Ross goes to the kitchen.)
(He goes back to the kitchen.)
[Cut to Joey and Monica.]