words in movies
Joey and Chandler: (start to sing) Hey! Happy birthday ...
Rachel: Shhh don't say that loud, Gunther's gonna want to hug me.
Ross: Uh, good news everyone, we finally found a nanny. This is Molly (points to Molly). Molly, Chandler, Joey.
(Emma starts to cry)
Molly: Nice to meet you guys (to Chandler and Joey).
Rachel: Thank you! (goes to get coffee)
Rachel: So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. (Joey and Chandler clap their hands)
Phoebe: No. It starts with a "v" and ends with an "x". Helpfully with a "to" in the middle.
Mike: OK, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I think I just saw a rat in your cupboard.
Mike: I don't know but they don't sound like spa treatments. You have to get rid of it!
Phoebe: OK, fine, if it means that much to you I'll get rid of Bob.
Phoebe: So weird, you think he's so gross and you're willing to eat his crackers. (Mike throws out everything in his mouth)
Rachel: Gavin, I just wanted to say thank you again for watching Emma yesterday during the presentation. I really owe you an appology.
Rachel: Hello. (to Gavin) But you know what, hey, new day, new leaf, I am just really really happy ... (sees Gavin staring at Heather) I'm sorry, obviously Heather's ass has something more important to say so I'll just wait 'till it's finished.
[Scene: Coffee place, Molly holding Emma and talking to Joey]
Ross: Yeah, obvious beauty's the worst. You know, when it's right there in your face. Me, I like to have to work to find someone attractive. Makes me feel like I earned it.
Monica: Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once.
Molly: (to Ross) I'm gonna take her back to the appartment.
Monica: They've elected me to talk to you about the baby talk - it's not so good.
Molly: I think it's sweet. (goes to leave)
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her.
Rachel: Because it took us months to find a good nanny and I wouldn't want anything to, you know, drive her away.
Joey: Oh, man, why did have to go and say that for? Now that you told me I can't have it makes me want her even more!
Ross: Joey, come on now, for me! Please, just-just try to focus your sexual energy on someone else.
Monica: (to Chandler) Take me home! (they quickly leave)
Phoebe: To kill Bob??
Mike: No, no, to test his neck strength.
Phoebe: No, Mike, I don't want to kill him! I thought we were just gonna capture him and, and you know, set him free in the country side where he can maybe meet a friendly possom and a wisecracking owl.
Phoebe: Suzie? (Runs over there to check)
Chandler: Is this really your long term plan, for me to run interference? Because I could get a job any day now.
Chandler: Allright, fine, but don't blame me if it doesn't work. Because you know as well as I do that once Joey sets his mind on something, more often than not, he's going to have sex with it.
Joey: Actually, that will be long. You know, I really need to organize my thoughts.
Joey: Now YOU'RE telling me I can't see her?? You guys are killing me! She's forbidden fruit! It's like ... like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy ... Why are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there?
Rachel: Rachel Green's office!! Give me that phone! (takes the phone) Hello, this is Rachel Green, how can I help you? Uh huh ... ok then ... I'll pass you back to your son (gives phone to Gavin)
Rachel: Um, excuse me Gavin, I have a question I need to ask you.
Gavin: Mom, I'll call you later. Yeah. (hangs up) (to Rachel) Yes?
Rachel: Oh, please, I don't care about you enough to bug me. In fact, from now on, I'm going take the high road. And I'm going be very very nice to you, you "momma's boy", starting right now.
Rachel: Yeah I am, I am! Oh, but first of all, Monica, I would like to introduce you to my very talented colleage and more importantly my wonderful friend Gavin Mitchelle.
Gavin: Pleased to meet you.
Monica: Pleased to meet you. So you're coming to Rachel's party tonight?
Monica: You were just being so nice to him!
Rachel: (to Monica) I still can't believe you invited Gavin. Allright, he is the last person I want to see.
Rachel: Oh, Monica, you think Skippy liked you? Honey, all those buys had a bet to see if he can knock you over.
Rachel: Oh, ok, thank you. (Molly leaves) (to Monica) Do you see what all the guys see in her?
Joey: Hey Rach, so can I sing happy birthday to you now?
Joey: Oh ... (Starts to sing) Happy birth ... (sees Molly leaving) oh, see you later (runs after Molly)
Rachel: Ahhhh , you brought rats to my birthday party?
Phoebe: I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother.
Rachel: Are you comparing my daughter to a rat?
Rachel: whhh wait, you're gonna leave my party to take care of a box of rats?
Ross: Where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them.
Ross: We have to stop them before something happens!
Joey: Oh, I didn't go to college.
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
Molly: (goes out of the room) Hey! Guys, this is Tabatha (they kiss on the lips in a romantic way). (to Ross) I'll see you tomorrow.
Phoebe: Ok, ok, you start preparing the formula and I start changing the box and then we gotta put them straight to bed.
Phoebe: Yeah, ok. I guess you're right. Allright, so we should just give them away. But to nice families, with children, and reduced fat wheat thins. They're Bob's favorites.
Phoebe: Good. It's just so hard, it's hard for me to ... let them go. I guess it just brings back memories, you know, from ... when I gave birth to my brother's triplets and I had to give them up. (Mike is shocked) I haven't told you about that yet, have I?
Monica: Well, at least you have one thing to be happy about. That jerk Gavin from your office didn't show up (Gavin shows up at the balcony windows).
Gavin: Yeah, hey. (comes in to the balcony)
Monica: Oh, we weren't talking about you. No, no way to recover.
Gavin: Well, let me explain how birthday parties usually work. There are presents, and a cake, perhaps a fourth or fifth person. Ok, I ... got you the present to make up for being such a jerk to you earlier.
Rachel: Well Monica seems to think it's because you have feelings for me.
Rachel: See? Why, Gavin, why? Right when I'm about to change my opinion of you, you go and you ... (he kisses her) and you do that ... (they kiss again)
[cut to Ross from his appartment, holding baby toys and is shocked to see them kissing]
Joey: Nice try. (to Margha) See the Netherlands is this make believe place where Peter Pan and Tinker Bell come from.
Phoebe: Okay, I just thought of the perfect guy for Rachel to take to her thing.
PHOEBE: Oh God.� Remember the girls' nights we used to have sitting around talking about you and Ross?
Monica: Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs. (Laura looks shocked)
Ross: Dad so what we have to pretend that were married?
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
Ross: Ohh, God, nobody likes him, and hes so cheap, hed never fly to London in a million years. Yeah, invite him? Hey, did I do these neat enough? (Hands her some envelopes.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the guys are teaching the girls how to play poker.]
CHANDLER: Well, maybe he had some kind of uh, new, cool style, that you're not familiar with. And uh maybe you have to get used to it.
Chandler: That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienists blouse.
Rachel: No, you're not! Last week you thought Ross was trying to kill you!
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster [1] is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
Rachel: (entering) Im just going to grab the phone.
(Rachel walks inside, stops, and turns back to look at Ross for a moment then goes upstairs.)
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He's prying open the drawer with a crowbar to no avail. Monica, Rachel and Chandler enter.]
Chandler: Oh no no no.. I'll get her. I'm super-compentent and totally responsibile and fourth in line to raise Emma. I'll be right there Emma. Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. <knocks over the box of china> Well.. what do you know? I guess, I'll be the one who dies first.
(Needless to say, Phoebe is stunned into silence. And one audience member gasps.)
Joey: We want you to be happy. And I may only have a couple beers in me, but... I love you, man. (Joey gives Ross a hug)
Chandler: Maybe he's calling to say your obsessive and crazy.
Ross: (on intercom) Uh, never mind, I don't want to know. (Carol and Susan laugh)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Chandler are returning to find Ross is there waiting for them.]
Monica: I mean, all Im asking for is just a little emotion! Is that too much to ask after six years?! I mean what? Are-are-are Rachel and I not as close as you guys?! I mean do we not have as much fun?! Dont I deserve a few tears?!! I mean we-we told Joey, he cried his eyes out!
Max: Well, if you see him, tell him to pack his bags. We are going to Minsk.
Ross: Oh, what are you going to do, follow me down there?
Rachel: You know Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday, my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house, and then he would draw a treasure map to help me find 'em all.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandlers bachelor party has begun, what there is of it, with only Joey (wearing a gold paper top hat) and Chandler (wearing what appears to be a Burger King paper crown) enjoying a nice product placement of Budweisers on ice.]
Phoebe: (sarcastically) Really? That hadn't occurred to me.
Monica: Yeah, but he wants to talk to you before anything really happens with her. And as his friend, I mean, don't you think he deserves the same from you?
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Ross: Wha... what do you mean? (Goes to the laptop)
Rachel: It's my father. He wants to give me a Mercedes convertible.
Rachel: (To Ross) I dont know. (To the gang.) What do you mean last night? Nothing, nothing uh, happened last night.
Ross: Look, I (He has trouble sitting in his chair.) Look, Im having a great time with you and I just dont want us to move to fast or put to much pressure on us. So, Im sorry I just dont think we should go away together yet. Its-its too soon.
Chandler: He's probably in his room with his current girlfriend Charlie. That's the situation as we know it... (walks to Phoebe and Monica)
Ross: I know! Anyway, they asked me to be a guest lecturer! I mean its temporary, but uh, if they like me it could lead to a full time job. How great would that look great on a mailbox, huh? "Professor Geller."
JOEY: Let me get this straight. He got you to beg to sleep with him, he got you to say he never has to call you again, and he got you thinking this was a great idea.
Chandler: Bad news. I watched the tape and passed it along to my bosses and they weren't interested.
Rachel: Y'know what, just give me a second and I'll be out of your hair. I'm just gonna grab a jacket. When I get back, I want every little detail. (There's a knock on the door.) Maybe that's him. (Goes to answer the door.)
Joey: No-no-no-no, hes not! No! Why are you trying to ruin the game? Come on!
[Scene: A park in London, Joey and Chandler walk up to a souvenir stand.]
Joey: Sorry, I just, any excuse to tell that story y'know....
Tom: So, which one of you lovely ladies am I going to take to dinner huh?
Phoebe: But really, it does seem like this money could be put to better use?
Monica: (to Chandler) Is he gonna introduce us?
(and another bell for the correct answer. "3 to win" and "What a dog might say")
Spokeswoman: ...has become the penicillin of the twenty-first century. And so today, this hospital is about to take major steps toward leading that revolution. It is truly ironic, on one hand consider the size...
Joey: (announcer voice) Its a pleasure to meet you Ray.
Chandler: Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. Yknow? And it turns out I was wrong. And now its lodged in my throat. (Mimics a cat trying to cough up a hairball.) (He does it again.)
Chandler: I don't see it that way. Okay? Because, I see two Monicas, the one that was my friend, who lived across the hall, and wanted to have a lot of babies and then the new Monica, who I just started to date. Now, who's to say what she wants?! Im right. I'm right. Am I right?
Rachel: Hey Pheebs, can I talk to you over here for a second?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Ross: My God, the babys kicking. Thats great. Although I kinda wish I-I wouldve been there to feel the kicking for the first time yknow.
Ross: You-you-you-you (trying to remain in control) threw my sandwich away!
[Cut to Joannas outer office, where Rachel and Sophie work. They are both coming back from lunch.]
Ross: Really? Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review, who was the voice of "Underdog"?
Joey: Look, its not about her. Okay? But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did. And I dont want to live with some one who doesnt know what it is to be a friend. So, Ill see ya. (He starts to leave, but Chandler grabs his bag and stops him.)
Ross: It's an honor to meet you. I can't tell you how long I've been an admirer of your work, I mean, that Nobel prize, (he thumbs up) whoooo! I mean, I have to tell you that, you're one of the reasons I got into the field.
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is showing pictures of his new baby boy, Ben, to the group.]
Phoebe: Oh, do I have a middle name. All right Monica Velula Geller. Its that bedroom there. (points to Monicas room)
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Monica: I have like five times, but the guy is so charming, that I go up there to yell and then I end up apologizing to him.
Phoebe: (pauses as he figures out how to answer that) Because Im normal! That was the one legacy my grandmother left me, and I know you wanted it as an engagement present.
Doug: Sorry? Finally chewed my leg out of that bear trap. Hey, congratulations to you guys though!
Phoebe: And then for forgetting to invite you to it.
Monica: (threatening) Don't get too cocky! Remember I won the last one! Oh, by the way, how did that feel, losing to a girl?
Phoebe: Oh, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it.
Ben: (running to the bathroom) Thanks Phoebe!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I broke down... I wanted to see him.
Rachel: (to everybody) All right, let’s get this party started, huh? Joey and Phoebe are gonna perform a little something for us.
Rachel: Okay..Okay.. Look. Im sorry that I lied to you before. You were right. Ralph and I were an item but were not anymore.
Rachel: Oh, let me see! (grabs picture) Oh, God, is he just the sweetest thing? You must just want to kiss him all over!
Monica: Okay, I've had it with the hair jokes. Tomorrow morning, before we leave, I'm going to the salon.
Chandler: (incredulous) I dont know what thats like?! Up until I was 25 I thought the only response to, "I love you," was, "Oh crap!"
(Chandler turns to watch her go and then sees Ross and Joey both with huge grimaces on their faces.)
Monica: No, too late. You can't give it back! (she pushes the painting back to Rachel)
[Scene: Stings Apartment, Phoebe has come to talk about Jack and is waiting for Stings wife, Trudie Styler, to enter.]
(Joey gets up and heads for the door. After a pause Ross decides to join him.)
Nurse: Its all right honey, it takes some babies a while to get it, but dont worry. Itll happen.
Ross: Hey, you're not naked! So hey, Rach, when will we expect to see you tonight?
Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
(Chandler and Phoebe look bored to death. Monica scores and laughs)
Monica: Oh umm, how about your mom dying, or having to live on the streets when you were 14?
Monica: Good. (To Chandler) Uh honey, the Miami Vice soundtrack? Really?
[Scene: We cut back to the present. The reunion where Chandler and Ross are talking.]
Rachel: I am so proud of Joey, I can't believe he's going to be on Law & Order!
ROSS: Ross, uh and uh, I'd just like to say that it did take a lot of courage for Rachel to come here tonight. And, uh, for the record she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis. (da-doom-chesh) (to drummer) What are you doing I'm serious. Uh, the reason she walked out on, on Barry is simply that she didn't love him, which incidentally worked out pretty well for me (looks for the da-doom-chesh, and doesn't get one) Cheers.
Phoebe: Because I cared enough to lie!
Rachel: But I dont, hmm... (on phone) Oh, who approved that order?! (listens) Well there is no Mark Robbinson in this office. (to Sophie) Get me Mark on the phone!
Chandler: How long it took to go back in the water?
Rachel: Ok, look, Ross. I do not want Emma going to the playground.
Joey: Well, I'm keeping so many things to myself these days, something was bound to slip out! (He glares at Chandler.)
Monica: Okay, Im never gonna wear them again. I just didnt get a chance to say goodbye.
Monica: She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. (she apes Amanda using an awful British accent) "Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!"
Joey: Oh really! Where? Somewhere funny I'd bet! (Chandler is straining to keep quiet as Phoebe enters.)
Joey: Oh-ho-kay, Im talking to the king. (starts to go to a back room)
Monica: This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them dont work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.
Rachel: No Yeah, all the time, constantly. It's terrifying. But you know that I figure it it has to work out.