words in movies
Chandler: Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you! Do you believe that who everdid something over here last night did what they did or didn't do ...I mean come on!!
Ross: Right that's why I came over to talk about. Hum...I saw Rachel kissing some guy on your balcony,even though there were NO LIGHTS !
Chandler: So are you gonna...talk to her?
Ross: Why...Why should I? I mean if she wants to move on, that's fine!
Ross: No I'm serious. I mean she wants to date people? Fine! I don't care but...at least she could have told me. You knowI...I've been putting my life on hold and just concentrating on Emma but if she wants to go out there kissing guys shebarely knows, then so will I ! Very funny! Ross is gay! Ah! Ah!
Ross: Well, and how about this? There is an anthropologist at school who totally came on to me during the inter-departmentalPotluck dinner.
Monica: No I totally disagree. No I think it's fine for a guy to do something like that. Such you an actor. Not that you need to,your eyebrows are...
Joey: Oh man! I have to get those done too?!
Phoebe: Oh before I forget, are you coming to Mike's piano bar tonight?
Monica: Only if I don't have to get up and sing.
Phoebe: OK fine! Please come and support Mike. You don't have to sing.
Monica: So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments on others?
Rachel: You know we were all alone and he was being really nice to me and, oh and he gave me this scarf...
Rachel: I don't know. It's so complicated. I work with this guy, you know, I have the baby, and I have Ross, and I just...I don'tknow what to do and I have to be at the office and see Gavin in ten minutes.
Monica: Sounds like you need to think about what you want, talk to Gavin, and you definitely should talk to Ross
Phoebe: Wow! Five-month maternity leave, you're back for four days, kiss a co-worker, call in sick, they are lucky to have you!!
Sonia: Are you looking to meet somebody?
Sonia: We'll get to the wax in a minute. First I want to tweeze some of the strays, ok? This may sting just a little bit...
Joey: Please I have an extremely high threshold...Holly Mother Of God! My face! My face!! I'm all right! I'm all right!Just a little bit of shock that's all but I'll be fine you can go again. I'm OK(He tries to avoid the tweezers) Dammit! Woman!! How Hoooow!
Ross: I can't believe Rachel just moved on and didn't say anything to me
Ross: No no, about a month ago she gave her number to some guy in a bar.
Ross: You know what? Enough! Enough talking! I have to get moving! Hey check out those two blondes over there!Hey come with me!
Chandler: Are you trying to get everybody divorced?
Ross: You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break theice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, sothey'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one...
Chandler: I thought I had to make the jokes!
Ross: Don't you have to be at work?
Rachel: I a not gonna lie to you, I'm pretty sick
Gavin: Oh! Good! Because I was having a totally paranoid moment when I thought you called in sick to avoid me.
Gavin: What's Ross doing to you on that picture?
Gavin: Right. Right. Ross. So what's the deal with you guys? I don't want to get in the middle of anything
Gavin: Yeah! But you said not to worry about...
Molly: No I'm here to take Emma to your mother's, remember?
Gavin: Hi! Gavin! Please to meet you. It was my idea to stand there.
Gavin: So hum...Why did I have to hide?
Gavin: You hear a key in the hole and you jump like a young bronco coming out of a chute for the first time. I used to be arodeo clown.
Gavin: I think you should talk to Ross about all this.
Mike: Oh she's my girlfriend. That's not just how we do it here. I got to get a break and when we come back we've got Kennethsinging "I touch myself"...I'm not here to judge!
Phoebe: Hi hi...Oh you have got to sing.
Phoebe: OK so isn't there a little part of you that wants to get up there?
Chandler: I don't get it neither, I mean you're obviously desperate, you're asking women how they want to be killed
Mike: Like an X-Ray. Bad day not to wear a bra.
Monica: "To take you to his mansion in the sky-y?"
Chandler: Wow, it seems serious. What seems to be the problem, Ashley Judd?
Joey: Look, I'll get new headshot taken, all right, so I want to get my eyebrows shaped
Chandler: I am sorry, moment to make fun of that, please!
Joey: All right, look, you got to help me out, ok? Look, I have the magic marker, I want you to fill in the skinny one soI don�t look stupid for my pictures.
Joey: What the hell am I supposed to do!
Chandler: All right, I will help you out but you have to promise me you will not tell anyone what I am about to tell you.
Monica: "Take me to the mansion in the sky-y". I am sorry, the song is over. Did you see me out there?
Rachel: Listen, my mum is not bringing the baby back until nine o� clock. So I was hoping you and I could have achance to kind of talk� somebody here?
Ross: How great is this? You are already comfortable enough to look through my stuff. Oh, I am sorry Michelle, that�smy roommate, Rachel.
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, I think it looks pretty good. I was a little worried I was uncovering a birthmark right aboutthere, but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate.
Monica: Honey, you�re just in time, I�m about to sing another song!
Michelle: Hey, do you want to go away this weekend?
Rachel: Ok, Ross, what�s going on here, are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now?
Ross: Through the magic of sight! I was here, putting our child to sleep...
Ross: When I happened to look through the window and I see you kissing a guy you know, for what? A week?
Rachel: Oh, that�s what this is all about? Did you bring her up here to get back at me?
Michelle: No, actually, see I had to pee, �cause I can�t use public bathrooms because the doodie parasites.
Ross: Ok, Michelle, it�s time to go.
Ross: You know, if it�s meant to be, I�ll guess it. Bye, bye.
Ross: Oh, I am sorry, did you not like her, because I was hoping that we could come to one of your kissing parties onthe balcony.
Ross: The guy you gave your number to.
Ross: Because he called here looking for you. So don�t tell me this...this kissing this guy from work is a one time thing,ok? You�ve been out there in bars and on balconies for over a month now. And you didn�t even have the courtesy to tell me.
Ross: I never gave it to you.
Rachel: Oh God. You know what? Who you think you are? Who are you to decide what messages I should or should not get?
Rachel: Oh my God, I cannot believe this. You know I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation with youAbout us! But I can�t do that with someone who hides my messages and brings crazy women back to my apartment!
Ross: None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That�s not the point. Ok? The point is you...you are the oneWho moved on and didn�t tell anyone!
(Ursula points out a vacant table, so the twins walk over, side by side, to sit down. Departing customers walk right past the pair. Sitting at the back, a hungry gentleman looks most annoyed as Ursula sets his meal down in front of her. The girls sit.)
Ross: Okay, Im going to start climb down you now.
Joey: Whoa-whoa, dont we need to do some kinda preparation first? Like ahh, get really drunk?
Luisa: Well, maybe that's because you spent four years ignoring me. I mean, would it have been so hard to say 'Morning, Luisa'? Or 'Nice overalls'?
Chandler: Yes, I-I know that you do, but I think one of the reasons people were complaining though, was that they paid to hear the actor sing Old Man River.
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Maybe uh, you you should come to me. Im a not, Im not wearing any bottoms.
(Ross and Mike glance at each other then both suddenly turn to Phoebe who is gone. �They sheepishly exchange glances.)
Chandler: Yeah, thats like the most ugliest dress Ive ever seen. Wh-why do you to return it?
Chandler: Alright, Janice, that's it! Janice... Janice... Hey, Janice, when I invited you to this party I didn't necessarily think that it meant that we-
RACHEL: So uh, Ryan, were you shipping off to?
Rachel: Ooh... oooh... (pause) (Rachel is all bah-jiggity about Joey) oh, ah... (pause) (to Monica) Can I ask you a question?
Phoebe: Right. Except that I do want to get married.
Richard: Well I know I was an idiot! And I tried to forget you, I really did! Yknow after we had lunch last year I spent six months in Africa trying to get you out of my head!
(Ross takes his suitcase and tries to get out but ends up falling on Prof. Sherman's laps, thereby waking him up)
ROSS: It was ridiculous. Ya know, these guys, they were bullies, actual bullies, ya know. We're grown ups, this kinda stuff isn't supposed to happen anymore.
Phoebe: It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; "Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter." And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter.
Ross: You weren't trying to entice me with your nakedness.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
Joey: (Snatches the phone) Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and... Excuse me? (To his dad) Did you know this isn't Ma?
Monica: It is so weird, I know what I said, but uh, this morning, I was lying in bed I was, I was imagining what it would be like to say yes. (Rachel slams the magazine shut in amazement.) I know its a little sudden, and its a little rushed, and its totally not like me to do something like this, but that doesnt mean I cant. Right? I mean Im-Im crazy about Pete, and I know that we want the same things, and when I thought about saying yes, it made me really happy.
Ross: No. No, it's just 'cause, uh, I kinda wanted to go out with her too, so I told her, actually, you were seeing Bernie Spellman... who also liked her, so...
<Amy runs towards Rachel and Rachel puts her arm out, hand on Amy's head and Amy starts trying to hit her but is missing, Rachel is moving backwards towards the table when her hand swipes the one plate left on the table on to the floor>
PHOEBE: I just think that this was a really bad sign, ya know. I mean, like the beast at the threshold, you know. It's just like, I have no family left, ya know. I mean except for my grandmother, you know, but let's face it, she's not gonna be around forever, despite what she says. And I have a sister who I've barely spoken to since we like shared a womb. I don't know, this is my real father and I just, I want things to be like just right.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is talking to Chandler. Joey is making a snack at the bar.]
JOEY: And, and just so you know, if you wanted to expand this scene like, like have the cab crash or somethin', I could attend to the victims 'cause I have a background in medical acting.
Monica: I gotta make up the guest bedroom. (To Ross) Hey, Cousin Cassie is coming to stay with us a few days.
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
Phoebe: Well, I think my mother was too busy planning her suicide to provide saltwater treats. (Ross hands her one) Thank you! So what, youre just never going to tell her?
Joey: (to Erin) Okay, good to see you again.
Joey: (stomps on the footrest which pops Ross up into a sitting position) The trail from the woman you did it with to the woman you hope never finds out who did it! (slapping his hands with each word) You always have to think about the trail!
Chandler: Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and
Mr. Geller: I'm not freaking out, I'm just saying, if somebody had come to me with the idea andndash;
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Rachel: Nah, I don't really want her to see.
Dr. Harad: Hi! Phoebe, I'm Dr. Harad, I'm going to be delivering your babies. I want you to know, you're gonna be in good hands. I've been doing this for a long time. I'll be back in a minute to do your internal, in the meantime, just relax because everything here looks great. And also, I love Fonzie. (Exits)
MONICA: Oh, because, um . . .� well, Chandler's going to be home in a couple of days.� So, I thought I would, you know, practice the art of seduction.
(An old West style showdown starts with Joey and the Hombre Man staring each other down as the store guy slowly lets in the first customer while Joey and the Hombre Man get ready to draw. In slow motion they spot the customer, eye each other, draw, and as the customer walks into the middle Joey's bottle misfires but the Hombre Man spays it into the customer's eyes.)
Ross: (Angry) I- I- I ca- I can't believe this. I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment.
Judge: You need to get out of my chambers.
Rachel: Well, I do, but you're just gonna have to actually look at this as more of an investment than a cat.
Bank Officer: Okay, Ms. Lambert handles all our closures. (to a beautiful woman) Would you come over here please?
Josh: Oh, I still do. Next year, I hope to make varsity though.
Chandler: Ah, the "I'm sorry I rejected you" phone call. I'm not used to getting it from guys. (on the phone, getting up from the sofa) Hey, Steve.
Ross: (to Isabella) Hi! Hi, Im Ross, you dont know me, but Im a big, big fan of yours. I mean, Blue Velvet, woo-oo hoo! Um, I was wondering if I could um, maybe buy you a cup of coffee? (Gunther hands her change) Or maybe reimburse you for that one?
Rachel: It should be right next to my plane ticket.
Phoebe: Monica, if you get five cool points, you get to make somebody take off one item of clothing. It hasnt happened yet, but were all very excited.
Chandler: Really?! That's what you heard? (To Monica) You said that?
(Emma starts making noises, and Joey walks over to her playpen.)
Ross: Yeah in fact, Im gonna go call her right now. And Ill make sure to tell her my friend Chandler says (He mimics the shy reaction Chandler did.)
PHOEBE: Yeah, eight of them. That's 56 to him. You know also, if, if it's raining, you can't let him look up too long 'cause that cone'll fill up really really fast.
Announcer: Presenting the award for Favorite Supporting Actress is Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives. (Applause as Joey angrily walks to the podium and eyes the trophy.)
Monica: Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Three pizza crusts, two bottle caps and the plastic tripod are left in the otherwise empty pizza box.� Mike is making hollow popping noises with his mouth.� He begins to speak, but stops and pops his lips a few more times and takes a drink.� Ross smiles as if he has thought of something to say, but then he stops and sinks back in a slump on the sofa.]
Chandler: Uh-uh, yes. I would like to see that ring please.
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
(Camera pans to Joey and Janine)
Rachel: Hi! You guys, the car-service just got here. I can't believe they're not home yet! I have to catch my stupid plane. I wanna see the baby!
Helen: (Over the intercom) So you still want me to send her psychological profile to Personnel?
Chandler: (To Rachel) Eldad is much more cooperative! And he can dance! (To Eldad) You dance for Rachel!
Chandler: I think youll find if I come to work here, I dont micro-manage. I dont shy away from delegating.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is watching the Prom Video and Rachel is about to make her entrance on the video. The italics are portions of the prom video.]
Roy: You were talking about me before! Look, I don't need this! I'm outta here! Where's my hat? (goes to get it) Look, I've been in this business for a long time!
Joey: Hey! (stands up) As soon as it stops raining we have got to go snorkeling! Some kid told me about the sea turtle and, if you blow bubbles in its face, it chases ya! (smiles ecstatic)
Rachel: All right, look, heres the bottom line Ross, this is fixable, if we act fast, okay. So, Ill invite him to brunch tomorrow and you can make nice.
Ross: Okay, the other night I was leaving the museum just as Laser Floyd was letting out of the planetarium, without even trying I sold 50 boxes! Thats when it occurred to me, the key to my success, the munchies. So I ah, started hitting the NYU dorms around midnight. I am selling cookies by the case. They call me: 'Cookie Dude!'
Phoebe: This used to be your room? (She nods Yes) Wow! You mustve been in really good shape as a kid.
Phoebe: So weird, you think he's so gross and you're willing to eat his crackers. (Mike throws out everything in his mouth)
Phoebe: Wow, you guys go way back then. So what are you up to these days?
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
Chandler: (on phone) Hey Mr. Kostelic! How's life on the fifteenth floor? (Listens) Yeah, I miss you too. (Listens) Yeah, it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home, you know? (Listens) Well, that's very generous (Listens) er, but look, this isn't about the money. I need something that's more than a job. I need something I can really care about.... (Listens) And that's on top of the yearly bonus structure you mentioned earlier? (Listens) Look, Al, Al... I'm not playing hardball here, OK? This is not a negotiation, this is a rejection! (Listens) No! No! No, stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! (Listens) I'll see you on Monday! (slams the phone down)
Ross: Oh, shhh, shh. Magic is about to happen.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is playing Playstation, Crash Team Racing to be exact (hes in last on Hot Air Skyway to be more exact) as Joey enters from his room desperately trying to look like a 19-year-old. Hes got the wool cap, hes got the cut-off Knicks jersey over the faded T-shirt, and hes got the whole pants-around-the-knees-showing-off-the-boxers thing that rich, white, suburban kids have adopted in a desperate and extremely futile attempt to try to look like theyre from the inner-city.]
Monica: OK, look. That is Aunt Iris. This woman has been playing poker since she was five. You gotta listen to every word she says. (opens door) Hi!
Rachel: Mon you definitely have to make it a theme wedding, and the theme could be, Look how much money weve got! Y'know, I mean you could put, you could put money in-in the invitations! You-you could have like little money place settings. And ah, you could start with a money salad! I mean itll be dry, but people will like it.
Ross: Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap. (In the other room Emma starts to cry.)
(Phoebe hides her eyes in shame. Rachel is starring at them wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Joey and Ross are stunned to temporary silence.)
Kate: Happy?! Is that what Im supposed to be Vic? Happy?
Rachel: Phoebe, dont you think youve had enough to drink?
Monica: Umm, I'd love too! (She goes over and picks up the box and decides to follow Rachel's advice and holds the box up to her cheek.) Ooh, I love macaroni and cheese. I love-I love the way this box feels against my cheek.
Phoebe: But it's just so unfair that our date has to get cut short just 'cause some guy shot at a store clerk.
Chandler: (to the duck) Okay, now when you come back I hope you remember that, that chick is not a toy! (He goes back into the apartment)
Chandler: Well uh, Archie needs money to fix his jalopy (Joey laughs), uh but he doesnt want Reggie to just give him the money. So Reggie hires him as his assistas his butler. And then makes him do all these crazy things like bring him milkshakes that cant have lumps in them.
ROSS: We're just tryin' to do a nice thing here.
ROSS: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. RACHEL: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. [they kiss] ROSS: You're not laughing. RACHEL: This time it's not so funny. [They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.] RACHEL: Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. ROSS: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. RACHEL: Oh, thank God. [Scene: Museum of Natural History. The next morning Rachel and Ross are sleeping in the display under a fur.] ROSS: Hi. RACHEL: Hi you. I can't believe I'm waking up next to you. ROSS: I know it is pretty unbelievaaaaah. RACHEL: What? ROSS: We're not alone. [A church youth group is outside the display watching them] CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are still in their chairs, watching Beavis and Butthead.] [they're laughing along with the show when an alarm goes off] JOEY: Is that the fire alarm? CHANDLER: Yeah. [feels the floor] Oh it's not warm yet, we still have time. JOEY: Cool.
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Joey: Yeah. Listen uh, Id prefer it if you didnt call me Joey. Since I dont know anyone here, I thought itd be cool to try out a cool work nickname.
Chandler: (reading the paper) Says here that a muppet got whacked on Seasame Street last night. (to Ross) Where exactly were around ten-ish?
Ginger: Its okay if it bothers you. Really. I mean the only thing I need to know is: How much it bothers you? because I dont like wasting my time. Am I wasting my time?
[Cut to later, the gang, minus Joey, is watching the Thanksgiving Day parade.]
Chandler: Yeah. It's a shame you two didn't get to spend more time together.
[Scene: Another hospital room, Joey has now been admitted and his doctor is about to break the bad news to him, Monica, and Chandler.]
Joey: Hey! Im an (does the quote-marks thing as well) actor too! Im not sure. I think theyre taking the ferry out to some Italian place on Staten Island.
CHANDLER: Ya know I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneakin around downstairs. He didn't want anybody to see him but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up.
Mr. Waltham: (Pleading.) You-you have to meet me in the middle here.
Chandler: (banging on the bottle again) Okay, okay, a little announcement, I just want everyone to know that the position of my best man is still open! And uh, (to the stripper) so is the position of the bride.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey enters with several magazines and runs up to Phoebe.]
MONICA: Ok people, I want you to take a piece of paper, here you go, and write down your most embarassing memory. Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out.
Mr. Waltham: Ahh, then you have to give us the lawn ornaments.
Danny: (To Gunther) Two pounds of Moca Java please.
Chandler: Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the 50's.