words in movies
Chandler: Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you! Do you believe that who everdid something over here last night did what they did or didn't do ...I mean come on!!
Ross: Right that's why I came over to talk about. Hum...I saw Rachel kissing some guy on your balcony,even though there were NO LIGHTS !
Chandler: So are you gonna...talk to her?
Ross: Why...Why should I? I mean if she wants to move on, that's fine!
Ross: No I'm serious. I mean she wants to date people? Fine! I don't care but...at least she could have told me. You knowI...I've been putting my life on hold and just concentrating on Emma but if she wants to go out there kissing guys shebarely knows, then so will I ! Very funny! Ross is gay! Ah! Ah!
Ross: Well, and how about this? There is an anthropologist at school who totally came on to me during the inter-departmentalPotluck dinner.
Monica: No I totally disagree. No I think it's fine for a guy to do something like that. Such you an actor. Not that you need to,your eyebrows are...
Joey: Oh man! I have to get those done too?!
Phoebe: Oh before I forget, are you coming to Mike's piano bar tonight?
Monica: Only if I don't have to get up and sing.
Phoebe: OK fine! Please come and support Mike. You don't have to sing.
Monica: So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments on others?
Rachel: You know we were all alone and he was being really nice to me and, oh and he gave me this scarf...
Rachel: I don't know. It's so complicated. I work with this guy, you know, I have the baby, and I have Ross, and I just...I don'tknow what to do and I have to be at the office and see Gavin in ten minutes.
Monica: Sounds like you need to think about what you want, talk to Gavin, and you definitely should talk to Ross
Phoebe: Wow! Five-month maternity leave, you're back for four days, kiss a co-worker, call in sick, they are lucky to have you!!
Sonia: Are you looking to meet somebody?
Sonia: We'll get to the wax in a minute. First I want to tweeze some of the strays, ok? This may sting just a little bit...
Joey: Please I have an extremely high threshold...Holly Mother Of God! My face! My face!! I'm all right! I'm all right!Just a little bit of shock that's all but I'll be fine you can go again. I'm OK(He tries to avoid the tweezers) Dammit! Woman!! How Hoooow!
Ross: I can't believe Rachel just moved on and didn't say anything to me
Ross: No no, about a month ago she gave her number to some guy in a bar.
Ross: You know what? Enough! Enough talking! I have to get moving! Hey check out those two blondes over there!Hey come with me!
Chandler: Are you trying to get everybody divorced?
Ross: You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break theice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, sothey'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one...
Chandler: I thought I had to make the jokes!
Ross: Don't you have to be at work?
Rachel: I a not gonna lie to you, I'm pretty sick
Gavin: Oh! Good! Because I was having a totally paranoid moment when I thought you called in sick to avoid me.
Gavin: What's Ross doing to you on that picture?
Gavin: Right. Right. Ross. So what's the deal with you guys? I don't want to get in the middle of anything
Gavin: Yeah! But you said not to worry about...
Molly: No I'm here to take Emma to your mother's, remember?
Gavin: Hi! Gavin! Please to meet you. It was my idea to stand there.
Gavin: So hum...Why did I have to hide?
Gavin: You hear a key in the hole and you jump like a young bronco coming out of a chute for the first time. I used to be arodeo clown.
Gavin: I think you should talk to Ross about all this.
Mike: Oh she's my girlfriend. That's not just how we do it here. I got to get a break and when we come back we've got Kennethsinging "I touch myself"...I'm not here to judge!
Phoebe: Hi hi...Oh you have got to sing.
Phoebe: OK so isn't there a little part of you that wants to get up there?
Chandler: I don't get it neither, I mean you're obviously desperate, you're asking women how they want to be killed
Mike: Like an X-Ray. Bad day not to wear a bra.
Monica: "To take you to his mansion in the sky-y?"
Chandler: Wow, it seems serious. What seems to be the problem, Ashley Judd?
Joey: Look, I'll get new headshot taken, all right, so I want to get my eyebrows shaped
Chandler: I am sorry, moment to make fun of that, please!
Joey: All right, look, you got to help me out, ok? Look, I have the magic marker, I want you to fill in the skinny one soI don�t look stupid for my pictures.
Joey: What the hell am I supposed to do!
Chandler: All right, I will help you out but you have to promise me you will not tell anyone what I am about to tell you.
Monica: "Take me to the mansion in the sky-y". I am sorry, the song is over. Did you see me out there?
Rachel: Listen, my mum is not bringing the baby back until nine o� clock. So I was hoping you and I could have achance to kind of talk� somebody here?
Ross: How great is this? You are already comfortable enough to look through my stuff. Oh, I am sorry Michelle, that�smy roommate, Rachel.
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, I think it looks pretty good. I was a little worried I was uncovering a birthmark right aboutthere, but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate.
Monica: Honey, you�re just in time, I�m about to sing another song!
Michelle: Hey, do you want to go away this weekend?
Rachel: Ok, Ross, what�s going on here, are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now?
Ross: Through the magic of sight! I was here, putting our child to sleep...
Ross: When I happened to look through the window and I see you kissing a guy you know, for what? A week?
Rachel: Oh, that�s what this is all about? Did you bring her up here to get back at me?
Michelle: No, actually, see I had to pee, �cause I can�t use public bathrooms because the doodie parasites.
Ross: Ok, Michelle, it�s time to go.
Ross: You know, if it�s meant to be, I�ll guess it. Bye, bye.
Ross: Oh, I am sorry, did you not like her, because I was hoping that we could come to one of your kissing parties onthe balcony.
Ross: The guy you gave your number to.
Ross: Because he called here looking for you. So don�t tell me this...this kissing this guy from work is a one time thing,ok? You�ve been out there in bars and on balconies for over a month now. And you didn�t even have the courtesy to tell me.
Ross: I never gave it to you.
Rachel: Oh God. You know what? Who you think you are? Who are you to decide what messages I should or should not get?
Rachel: Oh my God, I cannot believe this. You know I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation with youAbout us! But I can�t do that with someone who hides my messages and brings crazy women back to my apartment!
Ross: None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That�s not the point. Ok? The point is you...you are the oneWho moved on and didn�t tell anyone!
Chandler: Yeah, come with us. You'll see how close it is to the city.
Ross: Yeah, well excuse me for wanting to be with my girlfriend on our anniversary, boy what an ass am I.
Ross: All right I guess I'm, gonna go pack. (Starts to leave)
[Scene: Ross's now empty apartment, he is spackling some holes shut as the gang comes to apologize.]
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
Mr. Geller: Kids, I spoke to a doctor and picked up this pamphlets on how to get pregnant. (He slides them under the door.)
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
(Monica just looks at him, and Rachel wants to laugh)
Joey: Saw the Porsche out there Mon, lookin good. When do I get to take that baby out again?
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
Ross: (To Joey) I cant believe you told her I was going to propose!
Lauren: (laughing) Oh, youre so funny. Listen, umm, what are you doing after rehearsals? Do you want to get a drink, or something?
Joey: (entering) Look, what am I gonna do? I'm not flirting but still, I'm drawing her to me like - like a moth to a flame! (Tries to put his feet on the coffee table...they won't reach and looks around.) What the hell's going on over here?!?!? (Points to Chandler) Monica's gonna kill you! Look I need your help, I have to do something to-to repel this woman! Wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys repel women all the time.
Amy: Oh! It's Ross... Hey Ross! (She says hey to the guy at the falafel stand, whose only similarity with Ross would be his black hair.) Hello-oo Ross! (to Rachel) He's rude!
Joey: Nope, got it and I got yours (Pointing to Jack) too.
Phoebe: Somebody went to college. Wow. (Cliff gets uncomfortable) What is it? Im sorry. (She moves her arm, which was resting on the same pillow his leg is.)
(Phoebe quietly wanders in, to join the tableau.)
Phoebe: What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets. And the wind sure made it fun.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, Joey is now trying to get his car out while Ross is directing him.]
Joey: Well, I've been thinking about this whole commercial thing, y'know me going up against Ben, the two of us competing, and that can't lead to anything good. So, I think I'm just gonna step aside. I'm gonna tell them that I won't audition.
Chandler: Oh, I can't believe my sperm have low motility because, let me tell you, when I was growing up they sure seem to be in a hurry to get places!!
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry, were you speaking to me or sleeping with someone else?
Joey: And I like to think I had a little something to do with it.
(Phoebe desperately tries to find the scripted response to that line.)
Monica: Here, let me show you. Okay, the towels are hanging next to the sink, and umm, you can use the fancy soap.
Chandler: Nina? Nina. (He goes around his desk to where she is sitting.) Nina. (In pain) Nina.
Monica: (pushes him and starts to cry) Oh shut up!
[Scene: Recording studio. Phoebe is getting ready to record Smelly Cat.]
Chandler: We used to be married, but then we missed a weekend away together and things kind of unraveled. Because of you! Happy Birthday. (Ross looks disappointed and switches the camcorder off)
Fireman No. 3: It's all right. It's all right. You don't have to explain. This isn't the first boyfriend bonfire that we've seen get out of control.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is wiping the coffee table and Chandler is trying to look at her bra and leans over on the coffee table to get a good look.]
Rachel: Well, someone was supposed to write "Rach, take down the lights" and put it on the re... frigerate... (finally noticing Monicas note stuck to the refrigerator) How long has that been there?
(Joey and Rachel don't know how to respond to that.)
Monica: Come on Rach, come on. Lets see whats it like to be on a winning team for a change.
Chandler: Alright.. okay. No. Give it to me.
Joey: Listen uh, Im really sorry, it looks like Im gonna be stuck here for a while. I got the transmission fluid, but when I went to put it in the car, the transmission wasnt there!
Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!
Phoebe: Yeah, ok. I guess you're right. Allright, so we should just give them away. But to nice families, with children, and reduced fat wheat thins. They're Bob's favorites.
Emily: I dont think you understand packing. Look, I just dont want to leave it to the last minute. Last time I left in such a rush, I left my knickers here.
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
CHANDLER: I got the time to get to know Julie.
Phoebe: (following him) And did you notice the ice? (Gestures to 3 huge buckets of ice on the table.) Look! We have it all! We have crushed! Cubed! And dry! Watch! (Pours some water onto the dry ice, causing it to evaporate/smoke.) Ahhh! Mystical!
Phoebe: I know but he call's and my heart goes to him. You know that bastard is one smooth talking free lance kite designer.
CHANDLER: (on phone) What've you been up to?
[Scene: The airport. Rachel runs up to the ticket counter.]
Rachel: Cmon, seriously, you guys, youre not going to make me watch this alone!
Caitlin: (wanting more than anything to get the money and leave this horrible, horrible place) Yeah.
Joey: I want you to take this seriously! Phoebe is very very important to me, ok? And I wanna make sure that you are gonna take care of her.
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh my God, my ass is sweating! (on phone) Please! Please! Can you come? Its today at four.
Ross: Ooh, I wanna switch to Rachel too!
CHANDLER: Well yeah, in that it's not being used and I... have it to spare.
Rachel: Okay! Yknow what? I realized it was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids. All I really needed was a plan. See I wanna have three kids
[Cut to Joey and Rachels table.]
Mrs. Geller: We might still have some money, if your father didnt think it was a good idea to sell ice over the Internet.
Rachel: No! No! It's just that all the people in the entire world that I want to talk to are right here.
Phoebe-Estelle: Don’t take that tone with me. Who you think you are? Alan Lemond, the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic?
(A man sits down next to Phoebe and lights up a cigarette.)
Mr. Zelner: If I in any way implied that I wanted to buy your baby I am sorry. Okay? Last week when I asked you when your due date was uh, I certainly did not mean that I felt that I was due your baby. Yeah, I want to be very clear that I understand that its your baby, and it is not mine to purchase.
Phoebe: No, I want you to have it. I don't want it.
Joey: Look, you and I have been given a gift. Okay? We have to do something with it. Like-like, hand modeling! Huh? Or-or magic! And you know NASA's gonna wanna talk to us!
Ross: (to Phoebe) Tell my son that I love him. (Emily returns with the water.) Excellent! Well, okay, I gotta have some more fun!
Ms. Geller: I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out: �Mommy, I�m a girl, take me with you.�
Ross: Sure. Sure. Look I dont, I dont know if your plans are finalized yet, but umm, hey I-I know another great way to blow off steam.
Ross: ...can't, can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office anymorrrrre!!
Phoebe: Okay fine! Fine! Well just have to think of some other way to put the whole Who came onto who, thing to rest! Come on now, think!!
Phoebe: No! No, she said you actually proposed to her.
Rachel: Yeah, and he does it every year! That's why he's sending you to that play! That's why he sent us to that medieval restaurant and to that button factory!
Joey: Oh, not at all. Happy to do it.
Ross: Wait! Wait! Wait! Y'know what? Just stay. Please? It uh It would really mean a lot to me if you stayed.
Mark: No. And I dont think Im gonna want to.
(Monica nods `Yes.' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed.)
Chandler: (sliding up behind her) No. No, I wont. Do you know why I took all those lessons? See, for the first time I didnt want you to be embarrassed to be seen on the dance floor with some clumsy idiot.
Steve: Yes, that's right. We're excited about the level of sophistication you'll be bringing to the job.
Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation...
Chandler: does what always have to be sharks.
Ross: Oh Im, Im making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do.
Monica: They love my candy? Oh man!!! Ive gotta go make more!! (Starts to do so.)
Tag: No! It was marked confidential I just sent it down to Human Resources.
Monica: (running over to stop Rachel) Hey Rach, the tampons here are only a penny. Lets stock up. (takes her into the bathroom)
Monica: Honey, Im going to put my hand in your pocket!
MR. GELLER: Uhh, naa, no no no, I, I must be thinking of someone else, uh, maybe me. Don't you have some folding to do? Go fold dear. Fold. You fold. [shuffles her into her room]
Ross: If you don't believe me, let's go talk to him, okay? I'm telling you, he didn't ask me one paleontological question.
Mr. Geller: 'Cause there's time to make up for that. We can do stuff together. You always wanted to go to that Colonial Williamsburg. How 'bout we do that?
Joey: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. (he pushes his breasts together from the side)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is at the counter, serving coffee to Phoebe.]
Joey: I dont want to, Im scared.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Chandler: Okay, I've already taught you so much already, but whatever. See when you flirt with a guy you think, "I'm just flirting, no big deal." But the guy is thinking, "Finally! Somebody who wants to sleep with me!"
Chandler: So he has to be a male who has at least $50.
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
Monica: (to Chandler) Shh!! (On phone) Wait, what?
Aurora: Why can't we just have what we have now? Why can't we just talk, and laugh, and make love, without feeling obligated to one another... and up until tonight I thought that's what you wanted too.
Rachel: (to him) Hi! Is my misery amusing to you?
Phoebe: Then Im gonna have to ask you to keep it down. (slams the door in his face.)
Barry: No! (To Rachel) I went with Mindy.
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Ross: Mr. Morse I need to talk to you about your mid-term exam, Im afraid I-I had to fail you.
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
Monica: It-its so great to see you both here.