words in movies
NOTE: For this episode, I'm using italics to signify portions contained in the prom video.
CHANDLER: Wow, I don't know what to say. [opens the box and pulls out an incredibly gaudy gold bracelet] Wow, I, I don't know what to say.
CHANDLER: [reads] To my best bud. [puts it back in the case] Thanks best bud.
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
CHANDLER: Well, it'll probably slow it down at first but, once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.
INTERVIEWER: And if I want to call for a reference on your last job?
INTERVIEWER: Now, I want you to tell me what you're doing while you're doing it.
INTERVIEWER: So, uh, what are you going to do next?
CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance. . . ya know, make a little love. . . well pretty much get down tonight.
MR. GELLER: Gosh, we talked about that but your brother has so many science trophies and plaques and merit badges, well we didn't want to disturb them.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, we were so sorry to hear about your parents splitting up, dear.
MR. GELLER: Uhh, naa, no no no, I, I must be thinking of someone else, uh, maybe me. Don't you have some folding to do? Go fold dear. Fold. You fold. [shuffles her into her room]
CHANDLER: [walks over to the woman] I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
GAIL: I, I really have to be somewhere but it was nice meeting you.
CHANDLER: What? [realizes it was the bracelet] Oh this is excellent. You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller, the eyesore from the Liberace house of crap.
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
ROSS: Would you look at that guy, I mean how long has he been talking to her. It's like, back off buddy she's a waitress not a geisha.
ROSS: Oh, oh my God, is this the wrong day? I don't believe it, uh, well, hey, I guess if it works out we'll, we'll have something to tell the grandkids.
RACHEL: OK, Ross, listen to me, I am not yours to save.
RACHEL: No, listen to me. I fell for you and I get clobbered. You then fall for me and I again, somehow, get clobbered. I'm tired of being clobbered, ya know, it's, it's just not worth it.
CHANDLER: Hey man, look it's my best bud. How ya doin? [Joey doesn't respond] Wow, you are really gettin' good at that Marcel Marceau thing. Hey, whaddya say uh, we play some ball, you and me, huh, whaddya say? [Throws a basketball to Joey. Joey doesn't move to catch it and the ball takes out a lamp] OK, that's my bad.
CHANDLER: Well, doesn't the fact that I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about our friendship and how much it means to me?
CHANDLER: OK, well that's the part where I'm a wank. But I was hoping we wouldn't focus on that. [Joey goes to his room and shuts the door] Hey, c'mon man, I said I was sorry like a hundred times, I promise I will never take it off my. . . [notices the bracelet is missing from his wrist] wrist. But if, if you want to stay in there and be mad, you know, you just uh, you stay in there. [he starts searching the room, lifting up the couch cushions]
CHANDLER: I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . [Joey returns to his room]
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
MONICA: Um, yeah, so uh, uhh, listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before but umm, I, I'm no longer at my job, I, I had to leave it.
MR. GELLER: There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where to find it. [pulls a quarter from behind her ear]
CHANDLER: Oh, you're right I, I should play in the hay. Forget about the fact that I just dropped 400 dollars to replace a bracelet that I hated to begin with. Bring on the hay. [sits down at the bar]
CHANDLER: No, I can't. No no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, [puts bracelet on Joey] it's about you and me and the fact that we're [reading bracelet] best buds.
CHANDLER: Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.
RACHEL: They had to reduce it because of, of my deviated septum.
CHANDLER: OK, I was wrong, that's what they used to cover Connecticut.
ROSS: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
MR. GELLER: It's the off light. Right Ross? [pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache]
ROY: He'll be here OK, take a chill pill. [Chip pins Monica's corsage on, Monica then turns and whispers to Rachel]
RACHEL: I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late.
MONICA: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
MRS. GELLER: Jack, give me that. Talk to your son.
ROSS: Dad, she won't want to go with me.
MR. GELLER: Well, c'mon. Don't ya want to find out?
RACHEL: I can't believe I don't get to go to my own prom, this is so harsh.
MR. GELLER: Atta boy. [Ross scrambles upstairs to change]
ROSS: Uh, just a sec dad. [to himself] OK, be cool, just be cool. [walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable] OK dad.
[the tape cuts to Monica's parents under the covers]
Ross: (To Phoebe and Mike) I can't believe you guys aren't going to be able to get married today.
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Monica is getting Chandler ready for his half of the plan.]
Phoebe: Hmm, did you talk to Gary about the moving in thing?
Chandler: All right, I have to get that, but no-no. (answering phone) Hello? (listens) (happily) Hi! Yeah listen, I'm, I'm in need of a stripper and I was told that you do that. (listens) Let me ask you this, what, what do you do for the extra hundred? (listens) So would I, would I have to provide the grapes?
Chandler: C'mon, I'll show you to my room. ...That sounds so weird when it's not followed by "No thanks, it's late."
Phoebe: (getting up) Well, I hate to eat and run, but
Rachel: Honey, maybe we should take you to a doctor.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the brides maid test.]
Ross: Ah, well all go. (motions to Chandler) Come on. (the guys leave)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, its just Monica and Chandler dancing to Wonderful Tonight on the Slowhand album by Eric Clapton. And you can buy that album from the CFSI, just click on the CDNow link.]
Joey: I'm gonna say someone I'm gonna have sex with. (the girl leaves and Phoebe goes toward the couch) (to Phoebe) Hey!
[Scene: Chandlers gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]
Joey: Dude, you dont have to brag! We got nothing here!!
Monica: (also hugs the wall) Yeah, we had a great time, thank you! (walks to Phoebe)
Monica: People are supposed to wanna hang out here!
Monica: Well, it was good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that?
Ross: Okay, y'know what, lets just cut to the chase here. Okay? Heidi, which of my boys do you like?
Sandy: No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home... Although if you don't mind telling me, what was your problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future.
Monica: Yknow what? Im gonna make this up to you. I promised you a stripper (turns on the radio), and youre gonna get a stripper. (She starts to strip.)
Issac: (to Chandler and Joey) Can I help you?
Rachel: Okay, you hard worker! Ill remember to put that in your evaluation.
Joey: Hey Rach, so can I sing happy birthday to you now?
(Gunther tries to swoop in to ask Rachel out.)
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Joey: (In near tears, realizes she is right) I hate to admit it, but you're probably right. How did you get to be so smart?
Ross: Yes. And another time after that. Boy Im getting hungry! Hey Joey, have you ever been so hungry on a date that when a girl goes to the bathroom you eat some of her food?
Rachel: Whoa! My God! So what, you all just joined together to hate me?! Who else was in this club?
[cut to Billy and Robin]
Monica: Oh umm, that's because I just wanted to y'know walk in on me and Chandler while we were, y'know, doing it all night. Will you excuse me for just a second?
PHOEBE: Alright, I'm sorry but these people needed me. They work hard all week, it's Saturday night, they deserve to have a little fun. Go.
Phoebe: After he passed out, we put the sand around him to keep him warm.
Ross: Come on. You gotta help me figure out what to do. Okay?
Ross: Okay, quick and painful. (Starts to cork the wine)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has just broken up with Julie and is about to get with Rachel.]
Phoebe: (to Joey) Are you gonna be embarrassed going up there having nothing prepared?
Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue... [Scene: Monica's Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.]
Ross: Hey. Rachel, I-I-I've been wanting to tell you something for a while now and I really, I just have to get it out.
Phoebe: Well, this doesnt have to be so sad though. Yknow? Maybe instead of just thinking about how much youre gonna miss each other, you should like think of the things youre not gonna miss.
(The women all clap and start to leave as Ross comes up to the instructor. Apparently he was hiding in the back.)
Earl: Well I only have one thing to do today. (He looks at his board in his office that reads, "Todays Tasks: KILL SELF.") I guess I could push it back.
Rachel: I have the best job in the entire world! The most adorable guy came over today, and I got to dress him up all day!
Ross: (on phone) No-no-no, thats great! Ill be there Monday. And thank you again! (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up) (To All) Umm, that was the head of the Paleontology department at N uh, Y, uh U!
Chandler: (to Joey) Well hes probably mad after you called him this morning to borrow his goggles.
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
Ross: Im sorry, but we have to have some boundaries! My God, Im dying.
Rachel: Good. Although yknow, he-hes a private guy. Yknow, I wish I could get him to open up a little bit, share some feelings.
Ross: Hi! (To Mrs. Bing) Hi! (Mr. Bing starts rubbing his arm.) Hi. Has umm, anyone seen Chandler?
Chandler: Monica. (Goes to talk to her.)
Monica: Hey. Oh good-good youre here! All right, I figured it out. Im gonna take two tables of eight, Im gonna add your parents, and Im gonna turn them into three tables of six. Okay? And I called the caterer; I added two extra meals, we are good to go!
Chandler: Goodnight. (Goes to his room.)
Rachel: So you eh, you talked to Joey?
Chandler: I don't know. Maybe he hooked up with that hot girl he was talking to.
Director: I think his butt would like to get this shot before lunch. Once again, rolling... water working... and action....and cut. What was that?
RACHEL: And then Jean-Claude took me to that place Crossroads and that's where we hung out with Drew Barrymore.
MONICA: Did you know I was allergic to shellfish?
Rachel: Excuse me, I wanted you to help, but you couldnt move your arms because you were wearing three life jackets.
Chandler (to Monica): We have to get out of here, baby!
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
Phoebe: Well, I don't know if that's such a good idea. They clearly don't want to be with us.
Chandler: Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she's gonna see your underwearyou want it to be dirty?
Phoebe: Fine. (She hands her bell to Ginger and starts to take down her signs.) (The same old lady walks by again.) All right, I'll give you one pointer. Look out for that bitch. (The old lady.)
Monica: Chandler, listen to me sweetie, I know you can do this. Okay? You have a beautiful smile.
[Behind them, Joey goes up to the bandleader and interrupts the song.]
Joey: Oh good, uh youre here. Uh Pheebs? Listen uh sit down. I-I got something I want to say.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about her suggestion.]
[Cut back to the present, Rachel has made her decision.]
Rachel: Don't worry, we're just gonna search here for an hour, and then we're gonna go over to Joey's and search, OK?
Ursula: Yeah. It wasnt a town when I got there, but it was a town when I left. (To Eric) Shall we get me really drunk?
Rachel: Yeah, I did, but y'know what? I am really, really trying to cut back, y'know? (Laughs) Good luck, Rach.
Roy: I don't know... I can make my pecs dance... I can pick up a dollar bill with my butt cheeks... I can go to that special place inside me where I feel no shame.
Phoebe: All right, Im gonna close my eyes and point to someone, and you, whoever I point has to come up with something fun for us to do, and we have to do it.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is pacing, waiting for Chandler to return. Chandler enters.]
Monica: Okay fine! I keep betting Phoebe that youre gonna have the baby and I dont want to lose again!
Kate: Happy?! Is that what Im supposed to be Vic? Happy?
Chandler: Yeah, I've been to these places before, but I've never really seen them, you know.
Ross: Okay when you're playing a machine and it hasn't paid out, a lurker waits for you to give up and then
Mr. Kaplan: Im not supposed to drink coffee, it makes me gassy.
Joey: (sees Monica) Fire trucks! (Chandlers eyes double in size and he turns to Monica who doesn't understand what's happening. Then he turns back to Joey, who says "you're welcome" without a sound)
Chandler and Joey: He- he- he got in, he- he got in to San Diego.
[Scene: Central Perk close to closing. Ross and Julie are still there. Rachel is cleaning tables.]
Chandler: AhhhhIm not going to call you.
Joey: Listen, I ah, went to that restaurant that you were talking about last week...
Phoebe: Dont you see? Everyones looking at me! The plans working! I didnt even have to take off my top yet!
Joey: Alright, come on you guys, it's not that big a deal. Really... I mean, I just go down there every other day and... make my contribution to the project. Hey, hey, but at the end of two weeks, I get seven hundred dollars.
Rachel: Yeah, ohh! Why, damnit, why did I open my mouth? (In a girlish voice) I have a crush on you; I am attracted to you. (Back to normal again) Gee, I-I know that I freaked him out
Chandler: Well, Im so confused as to what weve been doing so far
Phoebe: Its mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it... later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like "yeah, right, well what else is new?"
Mrs. Geller: Yes, well I was wrong, and I have to say you really impressed me today.
[Scene: The Department Store, Joey is trying to sell some cologne.]
Ross: Wed like to close our accounts.
Chandler: it was like the Algonquin kids table. (They all laugh, but Joey only laughs not to be left out.)
Chandler: How is that ever going to happen?!
Joey: Oh my God! Is that why you guys had to get married?!
Guy: Im sorry, I wa, I wa, I was just ah.... (starts to laugh again)
Phoebe: No, I can't talk to you! I don't have a fancy ad in the Yellow Pages!
Danny: (returning, with a friend) Rachel, this is my friend Tom. (To Tom) This is the girl I told you about.
CHANDLER: We don't need to remedy that.
Ross: Uh, actually I think she went to the salon.
Monica: Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]