words in movies
NOTE: For this episode, I'm using italics to signify portions contained in the prom video.
CHANDLER: Wow, I don't know what to say. [opens the box and pulls out an incredibly gaudy gold bracelet] Wow, I, I don't know what to say.
CHANDLER: [reads] To my best bud. [puts it back in the case] Thanks best bud.
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
CHANDLER: Well, it'll probably slow it down at first but, once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.
INTERVIEWER: And if I want to call for a reference on your last job?
INTERVIEWER: Now, I want you to tell me what you're doing while you're doing it.
INTERVIEWER: So, uh, what are you going to do next?
CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance. . . ya know, make a little love. . . well pretty much get down tonight.
MR. GELLER: Gosh, we talked about that but your brother has so many science trophies and plaques and merit badges, well we didn't want to disturb them.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, we were so sorry to hear about your parents splitting up, dear.
MR. GELLER: Uhh, naa, no no no, I, I must be thinking of someone else, uh, maybe me. Don't you have some folding to do? Go fold dear. Fold. You fold. [shuffles her into her room]
CHANDLER: [walks over to the woman] I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
GAIL: I, I really have to be somewhere but it was nice meeting you.
CHANDLER: What? [realizes it was the bracelet] Oh this is excellent. You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller, the eyesore from the Liberace house of crap.
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
ROSS: Would you look at that guy, I mean how long has he been talking to her. It's like, back off buddy she's a waitress not a geisha.
ROSS: Oh, oh my God, is this the wrong day? I don't believe it, uh, well, hey, I guess if it works out we'll, we'll have something to tell the grandkids.
RACHEL: OK, Ross, listen to me, I am not yours to save.
RACHEL: No, listen to me. I fell for you and I get clobbered. You then fall for me and I again, somehow, get clobbered. I'm tired of being clobbered, ya know, it's, it's just not worth it.
CHANDLER: Hey man, look it's my best bud. How ya doin? [Joey doesn't respond] Wow, you are really gettin' good at that Marcel Marceau thing. Hey, whaddya say uh, we play some ball, you and me, huh, whaddya say? [Throws a basketball to Joey. Joey doesn't move to catch it and the ball takes out a lamp] OK, that's my bad.
CHANDLER: Well, doesn't the fact that I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about our friendship and how much it means to me?
CHANDLER: OK, well that's the part where I'm a wank. But I was hoping we wouldn't focus on that. [Joey goes to his room and shuts the door] Hey, c'mon man, I said I was sorry like a hundred times, I promise I will never take it off my. . . [notices the bracelet is missing from his wrist] wrist. But if, if you want to stay in there and be mad, you know, you just uh, you stay in there. [he starts searching the room, lifting up the couch cushions]
CHANDLER: I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . [Joey returns to his room]
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
MONICA: Um, yeah, so uh, uhh, listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before but umm, I, I'm no longer at my job, I, I had to leave it.
MR. GELLER: There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where to find it. [pulls a quarter from behind her ear]
CHANDLER: Oh, you're right I, I should play in the hay. Forget about the fact that I just dropped 400 dollars to replace a bracelet that I hated to begin with. Bring on the hay. [sits down at the bar]
CHANDLER: No, I can't. No no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, [puts bracelet on Joey] it's about you and me and the fact that we're [reading bracelet] best buds.
CHANDLER: Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.
RACHEL: They had to reduce it because of, of my deviated septum.
CHANDLER: OK, I was wrong, that's what they used to cover Connecticut.
ROSS: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
MR. GELLER: It's the off light. Right Ross? [pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache]
ROY: He'll be here OK, take a chill pill. [Chip pins Monica's corsage on, Monica then turns and whispers to Rachel]
RACHEL: I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late.
MONICA: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
MRS. GELLER: Jack, give me that. Talk to your son.
ROSS: Dad, she won't want to go with me.
MR. GELLER: Well, c'mon. Don't ya want to find out?
RACHEL: I can't believe I don't get to go to my own prom, this is so harsh.
MR. GELLER: Atta boy. [Ross scrambles upstairs to change]
ROSS: Uh, just a sec dad. [to himself] OK, be cool, just be cool. [walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable] OK dad.
[the tape cuts to Monica's parents under the covers]
Joey: Ah! I'm an actor! I can memorize anything! Last week on "Days" I had to say "Frontal temporal zygomatic craniotomy".
Ross: (puzzled) Ok!... All right, thanks! Thank you so much, you guys! (to Phoebe) Oh, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you were here!
Phoebe: Ah! Well! There you go! Last to know again! And I'm guessing... since nobody told me... this is Paolo.
RACHEL: Great, people having sex, that's just what I need to see.
Ross: All right so, Chandler, from now on, dont give your boss a chance to get you. Y'know just ah, dont turn your back to him.
Monica: Well, I was thinking, that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine?
Phoebe: Well maybe you dont talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about yknow all the things that hes taught you. Like (They all try to think about one example and dont succeed.) Or all the things you taught him.
Phoebe: Hey! Joey! (They all head over to him, he spots them coming and panics.) Hey! Hey!! Wow! (She hugs him.)
(She goes out into the hall and when shes there and the door is closed; she rips off her robe to reveal her work clothes.)
TV Announcer: Pete Becker is circling the ring now. It looks like, hes just trying to feel him out. Oh, Bruiser is just...
Chandler: Okay. (pause) And get ready to taste my very special cranberries. Or should I say... chanberries!
Chandler: That's a good thing actually, because ah, he used to have me rehearse with him.
Gunther: You are no longer authorized to distribute birthday muffins.
Joey: I told you not to move it! Rach, how would you feel if say, I wanted to move you mom, and you said dont, and I did it anyway and her head fell off?
[Ross is speaking to Monica and Rachel about tipping the super.]
Joey: (looking at the checkbook) Wow! Look at this! He wrote a check for 50,000 dollars to Hugo Ligrens Ring Design. (Monica is stunned) Oh, sorry, what do you think the good news is?
Charlie: No, it's just... I was enganged to a guy who turned out to be gay!
Joey: Whoo, whoo. Wow, it's uhm... kinda weird that I'm sitting next to Charlie after we broke up.
Phoebe: Okay. (Starts to spin) Ooh, y'know we could just do this. (She stops at Chandler)
Monica: But what kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer?
Charity guy: So you’re asking us to refund your donation to the children?
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is preparing to slip Joshua the note.]
Ross: No I didn't, and you want to know why? Because your ex-boyfriend is still in love with you.
Monica: Hes retiling my floor. (they both run to the bathroom)
Monica: Ill get everybody else (Does so), finally we can start celebrating my(She gasps and is stopped by the sight of Ross and Rachel making out in the hall.) Im sorry, uh apparently Ive opened the door to the past.
Phoebe: Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! I I havent done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31!
(Ross grunts something and hands her the pen he was trying to hand her.)
[The next one is from Episode 613: The One With Rachels Sister, Chandler has just opened the door to reveal a woman standing there.]
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Rachel: Ohh! Its so nice to meet you. (She goes over and shakes their hands.) Hello.
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!! (She holds her hands up in triumph and the gang all look at her.) Sorry, I was just imagining what itd be like to catch the money bouquet.
Rachel: Ross, you know what? She may need one..We're just going to have to make our peace with that!
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is coming out to talk to Rachel.]
Ross: (in his head) Oh my God! That's Rachel naked! I can't look at that! I am looking at this. (Looks back at his book.) Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokesUnless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing? I think maybe someone's lonely tonight. Oh-ho, Dr. Geller! Stop it! You're being silly! Or, am I?
Rachel: Hey, yknow, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with! I hate being alone this time of year! Next thing you know itll be Valentines Day, then my birthday, then bang!before you know it, theyre lighting that damn tree again. Ohh, I want somebody! (hearing this, Gunther moves in) Yknow, I want a man!! (Gunther leaves depressed) I mean, it doesnt even have to be a big relationship, yknow, just like a fling would be great.
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
(Rachel and Joey are still looking at Chandler, slowly letting his words get to them)
Chandler: Okay, Pheebs, we decided the picnic idea was a little Y'know, it didn't have any It-it, well it blew. So, we thought, that this afternoon that we would all go away for the whole weekend to, Atlantic City!
Chandler: Thanks for trying. (grabs the ticket and starts to leave) Oh, and by the way there is no Count Rushmore!
Phoebe: Well y'know every time that they say that like they're doing laundry we'll just give them a bunch of laundry to do.
Monica: All right look, if I take Chandler out of the running will you be able to focus?
Monica: (to the waitress) When you get a sec, another round of daiquiris.
Chandler: I just want you to know that what you witnessed in there, that wasnt for fun.
Joey: I'm telling ya... (his eyes open wide and he looks like his eyes are about to pop out. He stares at Ross like this without blinking) I can do it.
Dr. Leedbetter: We want you to speak to a psychiatrist.
Rachel: (to Monica) I mean is that woman capable of talking about anything else but sex?
Ross: Yeah, y'know for dating, general merriment, taking back to your windmill...
Mrs. Geller: Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or.... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-
Joey: So, I don't have to learn what that means?
Richard: Hes gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. (they both laugh) This is nice.
Rachel: (stopping him) Wh-whoa! All right, okay-okay, I see, I see what's going on here! Now listen, look-look, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I am not some hussy who will just sleep around to get ahead! Now even though I (He tries to interrupt and tell her about the ink), hey-hey-hey, even though I kissed you, that does not give you the right to demand sex from me. I do not want, this job that bad. Good day, sir. (She storms out of his office.)
Benjamin: Anyway, I've decided to offer you the grant.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
Russell: And well need you and Rachel to testify before a judge.
Ross: Alright, you madcap gal. Try to imagine this. The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away.
SUSIE: I'll be there, and who knows, if things go well, maybe this time I'll get to see your underwear.
Joey: Look, I don't hate Janice, she's-she's just a lot to take, you know.
Ross: I know I am! (Ross now starts to cry) ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?
Joey: (looks at the ground and at Ross) I dont know Ross! I-I tell you what, lets flip to see who does it, okay? You-you call it in the air, all right?
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Monica: Yeah, he used to have this recurring nightmare, just really freaked him out.
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
Joey: To tape the game? You do this every time Ross, youre not gonna be on TV!
Ross: It would be so cool to live across from you guys!
Rachel: (to Chandler) Can I talk to you alone for a minute?
Chandler: Well, I try to y'know, squeeze things. (Phoebe giggles uncontrollably.) Are you okay?
(The door opens allowing the horde to charge in, knocking Rachel out of the way and to the ground.)
Chandler: No, you dont have to, and you cant because I live here too.
(As they walk out he motions to Chandler that he is still Ben's godfather.)
Monica: (to Chandler) Anything but stew.
Tony: We dont have 50 bucks, but would you be willing to trade for it? Weve got a canoe.
Emily: Im just going to say hi to the lads. All right?
Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there to watch Joey's first scene as Dr. Drake Remoray.]
Phoebe: Yeah, she clamed she had to go out of town suddenly. Shes avoiding me, she doesnt want to tell me where my Father is. She knows, and she wont tell me.
Janice: Okay, Im going to need a comforter, but did you have a hypoallergenic one because otherwise I get very nasal. (Makes some weird sound) Do you have a cat? Cause its already happening. (Makes a nasal sound) Do you hear that? (She keeps making the nasal sound.)
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are about to go inside.]
Chandler: Thats okay Pheebs, were not having a party or anything, so you dont have to get us
(Chandler slides the bowl to the far end of the counter. He tries again, but he hits the spoon to hard and the ball goes flying away.)
Joey: Just being friendly. (He gives Monica a whats wrong with you? look and proceeds to walk behind the counter.)
Chandler: Yes-yes, I was just trying to figure out a way to uh, demonstrate how I could get my exceptionally large feet into my even bigger mouth.
Chandler: Thank God you didn't try to fan out the magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your eyes right out.
Chandler: (To Ross) I can't believe this! What the hell were you thinking?
Phoebe: Well maybe he was just nervous, yknow you can be very intimidating. And besides Ive met your pastry chef and she can stand to be taken down a peg or two.
Phoebe: Okay. I'd- just- I'd never be able to enjoy it. It would be like this giant karmic debt.
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
Monica: If you have the big apartment you have to deal with people coming over all the time. That fridge has got to be stocked, okay, thats your department now. (She takes back the turkey leg)
Dr. Green: Excuse me for a moment, will you please, I want to say good night to the Levines, before we go.
Joey: (He turns around to Chandler looking for approval to go with Rachel, Chandler mouths Come on!) (turning back to Rachel) Ross, did ask us first, and we set that night aside.
Chandler: Listen ah, Joe, I-I need to, I need to talk to you about something.
Ross: You see this, this is a person who is ready to go. Phoebe you, oh, you are my star.
Monica: Look, all were trying to say is, dont let what happened with Carol ruin what you got with Emily.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah, you go talk to your friend. You tell him, "Nice try."
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, if my friend says its time to go, its time to go. (Starts to leave, but comes back for his cookies.)
MNCA: No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. [to waiter] Just some water.
Joey: Okay. (to Phoebe and Chandler) Did ah, you guys mean you plus one?
The Interviewer: Thank you. The readers at Soap Opera Digest will be happy to hear that.
(Chandler tries to jump over the couch but everyone stops him.)
Phoebe: Ok, you guys, I don’t mean to make things worse, but umm, I don’t want to live with Rachel anymore.