words in movies
NOTE: For this episode, I'm using italics to signify portions contained in the prom video.
CHANDLER: Wow, I don't know what to say. [opens the box and pulls out an incredibly gaudy gold bracelet] Wow, I, I don't know what to say.
CHANDLER: [reads] To my best bud. [puts it back in the case] Thanks best bud.
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
CHANDLER: Well, it'll probably slow it down at first but, once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.
INTERVIEWER: And if I want to call for a reference on your last job?
INTERVIEWER: Now, I want you to tell me what you're doing while you're doing it.
INTERVIEWER: So, uh, what are you going to do next?
CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance. . . ya know, make a little love. . . well pretty much get down tonight.
MR. GELLER: Gosh, we talked about that but your brother has so many science trophies and plaques and merit badges, well we didn't want to disturb them.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, we were so sorry to hear about your parents splitting up, dear.
MR. GELLER: Uhh, naa, no no no, I, I must be thinking of someone else, uh, maybe me. Don't you have some folding to do? Go fold dear. Fold. You fold. [shuffles her into her room]
CHANDLER: [walks over to the woman] I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
GAIL: I, I really have to be somewhere but it was nice meeting you.
CHANDLER: What? [realizes it was the bracelet] Oh this is excellent. You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller, the eyesore from the Liberace house of crap.
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
ROSS: Would you look at that guy, I mean how long has he been talking to her. It's like, back off buddy she's a waitress not a geisha.
ROSS: Oh, oh my God, is this the wrong day? I don't believe it, uh, well, hey, I guess if it works out we'll, we'll have something to tell the grandkids.
RACHEL: OK, Ross, listen to me, I am not yours to save.
RACHEL: No, listen to me. I fell for you and I get clobbered. You then fall for me and I again, somehow, get clobbered. I'm tired of being clobbered, ya know, it's, it's just not worth it.
CHANDLER: Hey man, look it's my best bud. How ya doin? [Joey doesn't respond] Wow, you are really gettin' good at that Marcel Marceau thing. Hey, whaddya say uh, we play some ball, you and me, huh, whaddya say? [Throws a basketball to Joey. Joey doesn't move to catch it and the ball takes out a lamp] OK, that's my bad.
CHANDLER: Well, doesn't the fact that I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about our friendship and how much it means to me?
CHANDLER: OK, well that's the part where I'm a wank. But I was hoping we wouldn't focus on that. [Joey goes to his room and shuts the door] Hey, c'mon man, I said I was sorry like a hundred times, I promise I will never take it off my. . . [notices the bracelet is missing from his wrist] wrist. But if, if you want to stay in there and be mad, you know, you just uh, you stay in there. [he starts searching the room, lifting up the couch cushions]
CHANDLER: I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . [Joey returns to his room]
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
MONICA: Um, yeah, so uh, uhh, listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before but umm, I, I'm no longer at my job, I, I had to leave it.
MR. GELLER: There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where to find it. [pulls a quarter from behind her ear]
CHANDLER: Oh, you're right I, I should play in the hay. Forget about the fact that I just dropped 400 dollars to replace a bracelet that I hated to begin with. Bring on the hay. [sits down at the bar]
CHANDLER: No, I can't. No no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, [puts bracelet on Joey] it's about you and me and the fact that we're [reading bracelet] best buds.
CHANDLER: Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.
RACHEL: They had to reduce it because of, of my deviated septum.
CHANDLER: OK, I was wrong, that's what they used to cover Connecticut.
ROSS: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
MR. GELLER: It's the off light. Right Ross? [pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache]
ROY: He'll be here OK, take a chill pill. [Chip pins Monica's corsage on, Monica then turns and whispers to Rachel]
RACHEL: I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late.
MONICA: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
MRS. GELLER: Jack, give me that. Talk to your son.
ROSS: Dad, she won't want to go with me.
MR. GELLER: Well, c'mon. Don't ya want to find out?
RACHEL: I can't believe I don't get to go to my own prom, this is so harsh.
MR. GELLER: Atta boy. [Ross scrambles upstairs to change]
ROSS: Uh, just a sec dad. [to himself] OK, be cool, just be cool. [walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable] OK dad.
[the tape cuts to Monica's parents under the covers]
Phoebe's Assistant: Oh, here comes your 3:00. I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum (walks out, Paolo enters)
Chandler: You know you don't want me to help. You can't have it both ways!
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Oh
Rachel: (To Ross) Great, shoot, what are we gonna do?
Phoebe: Thank God you’re here. Listen to this!
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller talking to Ross.]
Phoebe: (to Ross) This place is awesome!
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
Joey: Yeah. You know why? Cause you came to me first.
Joey: Oh whoa-whoa wait a minute! I have to do it?!
Joey: No dude, you gotta hold your breath until youre ready to answer the question.
Ross: (to Joey): Joey, I'm a little shy.
Chandler: What do you want from me, Ive never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, Im sorry you cant stay, (Rachel is upset about leaving the orgy with the cigarette guy.) but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. (The cigarette guy starts rubbing Chandlers back.) What are you doing? (The guy just nods) All right, listen, Ive got to wake up!
Ross: Well, Ill-Ill be there. I mean I have to wear a costume to all my classes that day anyway so
Chandler: Look, I understand, but I have to put my foot down. Okay? The answer is no.
Janine: Joey? Do you want me to put it all in your room?
Ross: Oh, that'd be great! Okay, but if you do, make sure it seems like you're there to see him, okay, and you're not like doing it as a favour to me.
Ross: Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?
Joey: But Ross, Ross. What do you, what do you think she's going to say?
Rachel: Well yeah, I do, but I decided to take a long lunch and spend some time with my friend Monica. Y'know I-I feel that we don't talk anymore. How are you? What is new with you?
Phoebe: Rachel, come here. (Rachel walks over to Phoebe. Chandler sits down on the lounge-chair.) Okay, I was just starting to take my Thanksgiving nap, and I had another dream about Jack.
Chandler: I also want you to remember that I let you live here rent free!
Ross: Look at me! (Chandler squeaks in an attempt not to make fun of him.)
Ross: Hey, what do you say we celebrate? Champagne? (he goes to get the champagne)
Rachel: To Monica and Chandler... and that knocked up girl in Ohio.
Janice: Well, let's go to a bad one and make out. (they start to kiss and lean back into Monica.)
Phoebe: No, you have to let me in right now!!
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Ross is living with Chandler and Joey. Joey and Ross have built a fort out of boxes, Chandler enters and they stand up slowly.]
Rachel: No Mon, you want to put them in concentric circles. I want to do this.
Erica: So you lied to me before?
(Chandler turns to look at Monica, who has the biggest hair ever, is flushed and in a sweat, and is decidedly sniffing her armpits)
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats what you really want. Yeah, I dont want to be the reason youre unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really dont want to be the reason Im unhappy.
Chandler: It's so good I don't know what I've done to deserve it!
Joey: (shouting to Ross) JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!
Phoebe: Well, Im going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)
Phoebe: If you had to, what would you give up, food or sex?
Ross: It's a day to be thankful.
Rachel: (Joey walks to the door) Although...
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, with the giant entertainment center Joey is exiting from his room.]
Phoebe: Rachel, its okay. You dont have to do this. I believe you. All right? Okay, if-if you say that you kissed Melissa, then you kissed Melissa.
Joey: Well, I dont know. I think it does something to salami.
[Fade to Black, then fade in again with Ross stopped at the doorway.]
Joey: Pantyhose! Yknow? They way they start at your toe and go all the way up to here (He mimed that and stops when he realized he went to far.) I should go take these off shouldnt I?
Phoebe: Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
[Scene: later the bridesmaids and ushers are getting ready to start, Ross is looking for Rachel]
Rachel: (clearly not listening and still trying to find out where Joey went) Uh-huh... right... yeah...
Joey: Oh, I didn't go to college.
Chandler: Where have you been?! I tried to call you! I want to talk to you! I still feel so bad!
(Ross points out Rachel to Chandler and goes over to talk to her. Rachel is checking out her nose in her compact mirror.)
The Photographer: (taking pictures) Great! Thats great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
Rachel: That-that you came on to me?
Ross: Maybe I should stand on your feet! (Gerts shocked and Ross realizes what he said and tries to brush it off.)
Ross: Uh we-we need to talk.
Rachel: Hey! Well, I had to give the kid fifty bucks to stop crying.
Rachel: Ow, that had to hurt!
Ross: Look, look, theres got to be a way we can work past this. Okay, (takes a hold of one of her arms.) I cant imagine, I cant imagine my life without you. (Both of them are starting to cry.) Without, without these arms, and your face, and this heart. Your good heart Rach, (drops to his knees and hugs her around her waist) and, and....
Ross: But, you, you dont want to seem too pushy.
Joey: Thanks, Chandler. (Snuggles up to him)
Ross: Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I cant date you or have a hot plate in my office. I cant believe we have to stop seeing each other.
Rachel: Yknow what? Thats a lot to remember, cant I just tell her youre a pig?
Ross: Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that Im gonna be at that airport and I hope that shell be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachels name, but it didnt mean anything, Okay? Shes-shes just a friend and thats all! (Rachel sits down, depressed.) Thats all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I cant imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that youll tell her that.
Phoebe: How could it not be? I mean pretty soon theyre gonna be having kids, and then theyre just gonna be hanging out with other couples who have kids. And then maybe theyre gonna have to leave the city to be near a Volvo dealership.
Joey groans and gets off the phone: The producer from Days left a message on my machine asking why I wasn't at the parade. They said everybody's pissed off at me.. <whiny voice> And they all got to meet Santa!
Monica: (starting to get up) I gotta go water Pete's plants. (stops) Y'know what, if he's gonna break up with me, maybe I won't water his plants.
Rachel: How would you like to sit in a chair that fully reclines, has a rolling massage, and speakers in the head rest?
Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, (As he is speaking, Joey and the volunteer getting into a shoving match.) and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do (Joey is knocked down.) is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to (Just as the volunteer sits down, Joey pulls him to the ground.)
Rachel: Yeah, I know, I know, I know he does. But I have to tell him how I feel! He deserves to have all the information and then he can make an informed decision.
(Chandler listens to what Nancy says)
Phoebe: (to Monica) You're gonna be okay?
Ross: Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isnt about the room, this is about what the room represents! And unfortunately, this room (Points to Rachels room) could destroy you!!
Phoebe: Oh, the Angelica!! Go! Go! (She bangs on the cabs roof and it pulls away.) (To Ross) You didnt get the annulment?!!
Rachel: Ah, what is this? Well, lets see, we kissed for ten minutes and now we're talking to our friends about it, so I guess this is sixth grade!
Benjamin: Care to venture a guess?
Rachel: (To Joey) Yeah I knowIm goodI got it! (Joey slowly backs away.) (To the boy) Now wait a minute, Ive got one more thing I have to say to you oh right! Shut up!
Rachel: (panics, turns around, picks up the phone, and pretend to talk on it) Hello?! (Listens) Oh, yeah! (To Tag) This is gonna be a while. Excuse me. (Tag leaves and she closes the door behind him, disgustedly.) Yeah!
VAN DAMME: 'Cause Rachel told me uh, you were dying to have a threesome with me and uh, Drew Barrymore. By the way, Drew has some groundrules and...
Monica: Y'know, all these years, I thought you were on my side. But maybe what you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better!
[Time lapse, Phoebe is still asleep only Joey is now passed out next to her and the cars still moving. She wakes up, sees Joey, and screams.]
Monica: Yeah, we used to perform for our family and friends.
Mrs. Geller: Oh honey, come on, have a sense of humour, youve never been able to laugh at yourself.
Chandler: (to Monica) I'm leaving you.
Mike: (to Phoebe) So how've you been?
(Ross starts to scream and run away. He stops in front of the window of Central Perk to check the pursuit and notices Phoebe and Rachel inside looking at him. He mouths, "What?" Then realizes that the women he attacked are closing in so he screams and runs away.)
Hoshi: You are iron. You are steel! Let me ask you something, how come when I call your computer support line, I have to wait an hour and a half?
Mr. Zelner: It's really nice to see you again.
Rachel: Ok, Ross, what�s going on here, are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now?
Ross: (on phone) Ok, ok, sweetheart, I'll see you later. Ok, bye. What? (Sits down next to Rachel) Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. (Doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet) Well you didn't hang up either.
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
Rachel: (Running to the ticket counter) Ooh, ooh, ooh,ooh,ooh. (Slightly out of breath) Hi.
Monica: Well forget it! It doesnt hurt that (tries to take a step) baaad!!!!
Joey: No, I don't think it's just about just getting a girlfriend. Y'know? I mean, yeah, I can get a girlfriend! Yeah, we could sit in the chair and do crosswords, but y'know are we ever going to have y'know the closeness like-like you guys have?
Ross: (trying to act manly in front of Janine) No I dont want to play video games, Joey!
Phoebe: Oh! Okay! Yeah, thats okay. (To Patrick) Have a seat. (Sits Patrick down next to Rachel.)
PHOEBE: OK. I just met this producer of this like, teeny record company, who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of Smelly Cat.
[They stop briefly to look at Chandler, but then start fighting again.]
Joey: Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. (to Chandler) Hey, Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?
Ross: I've got to say you guys, that's an incredible gesture!
Missy: I'd love to!
Ross: C'mon you guys, this is really important to us.