words in movies
Chandler: Oh, we wanted to finish the crossword before we went to bed. Hey, do you know a six-letter word for red?
Chandler: Yeah, I think that's wrong, but there's a Connect the Dots in here for you later. (To Monica) Hey, how about maroon?
Monica: (checks to see if it works) Yes, you are so smart! (Kisses him.)
Dream Joey: Aww, me too. Now let's finish this and go to bed.
[Cut back to Joey in bed, he's smiling, enjoying the dream as he wakes up. Suddenly, he realized what he was dreaming about and bolts upright in bed.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Ross and Joey. Gunther hands them the bill, and Chandler gives some money to pay it.]
Joey: (To Monica) Hey. That uh, that my sweatshirt?
Monica: I'm sorry, I'll give it back to you.
Joey: No! No, you smell like a meadow. (Pause.) I'm sorry. (Runs to the bathroom.)
Chandler: Oh, y'know what? The last time Joey went to a meadow, his mother was shot by a hunter.
[Scene: A couch store, Ross is trying to decide on a new couch for his place. He has dragged Rachel along for the trip, and she's not too happy about it. Ross is sitting on it in different ways to see how it feels. He tries to just sit on it normally, and then he tries flopping on it. One thing about this couch, it's huge. It's like twice the size of a normal full size couch. Whoever designed this thing, needs help and fast.]
Ross: (To Rachel) Yeah, I still don't know. (To the salesman who is hovering nearby) I'm sorry I just wanna make sure that I bought the right couch. I need a couch that says, "Kids welcome here." But that also says, (In a sexy voice) "Come here to me!"
Rachel: What?! You say that to kids?!!
Ross: No! No! No! The "Come here to me" is y'know for the ladies.
Ross: Yeah, y'know what? I'll take it myself, thank you! (He signs the form and hands it back to the salesman.) All right Rach, let's go! (He picks up one end of the couch.)
Rachel: Yeah! (She puts on her coat and turns around and sees Ross is expecting her to help.) (Laughing.) Are you kiddin'?
Rachel: (Disgustedly she goes and tries to pick up the couch. Much to her amazement, she is successful.) Oh. Oh! I can do it!
The Salesman: Ohh, okay. (Laughs.) Something didn't quite add up there. (Ross stops, walks back to talk to the salesman, and in the process pushes Rachel up against a wall.)
Ross: What's that supposed to mean?
Rachel: Come on, I don't really want to be doing this right now. I am carrying a very heavy couch.
Rachel: (To Ross) Fine! (To the salesman) We went out.
Ross: A loser you did it with (To the salesman) 298 times!
Phoebe: Yeah that's right you are so busted. (To no one in particular.) Book 'em.
Phoebe: Save it Red! Unless you wanna spend the night in the slammer, you apologize to the tree.
The Smoking Woman: I am not going to apologize to a tree!
Phoebe: You apologize to the tree right now or I am calling for backup. (The woman calls her bluff.) (Screaming at no one in particular) Backup! Backup!!
[Scene: Ross's building's lobby, he and Rachel are about to attempt to take the couch upstairs.]
(She can't stay at the end as the couch rounds the turn so she shifts to the back corner of the couch and is at a 90-degree angle to it.)
Monica: (cooking something) Phoebe, you were supposed to take that back!
Phoebe: (To Joey) Hey.
Joey: (To Phoebe) Hey! (Sees that Monica's there.) Oh.
Joey: Yeah, I didnt know you guys were going to be here.
Joey: All right! There is something. I kinda had a dream, (pause) but I don't want to talk about it. (Starts for his room.)
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-what-what if Martin Luther King had said that? (Imitating what his famous speech would sound like.) I kinda have a dream! I dont want to talk about it.
Chandler: You had a dream about a girl that I am seeing?! Oh, that is so cool! (To Monica) I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt about a girl that he was seeing. (Seeing Monica's stare.) (To Joey) Anyway we're talking about your dream. (To Monica) I love you. (To Joey) Your dream? (Leans in to listen closely.)
Monica: Or, it could mean that-that you saw Chandler and me together and we y'know were being close and stuff and then you just want to have that with someone too.
Chandler: Joey, look, are you attracted to Monica? Right here, right now, are you attracted to her?
Joey: No, I don't think it's just about just getting a girlfriend. Y'know? I mean, yeah, I can get a girlfriend! Yeah, we could sit in the chair and do crosswords, but y'know are we ever going to have y'know the closeness like-like you guys have?
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is walking up and notices a car that is parked half on the curb and right in front of the door, making it difficult for people to enter Central Perk.]
Phoebe: Well I don't think it's very nice of you to park here, y'know you're blocking the entrance.
Phoebe: Ohh, no. (Pause) Oh okay, so you're a cop which means you can park anywhere, 'cause I know that 'cause I'm a cop too. So, all right, keep up the good work. 10-4. (Tries to leave.)
Phoebe: (starts to walk away, but stops) Dont try to call him or anything, 'cause he's not there, he's out. His umm, his partner just died.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering. Rachel is there getting some tools to help Ross out.]
Joey: Uh, hey, Rach let me ask you something. Uh, I was just over there talking to Monica and Chandler, boy they are really tight.
Rachel: (laughs and pushes the chair back in) Yeah, well, y'know umm No honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them, but I think the way you do it is y'know you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation, then you ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your existing friends!
[Scene: The lobby of Ross's building, he's sitting on the couch at the bottom of the stairs, and he's practicing enticing women to join him on the couch.]
Ross: Come here to me. No-no, you come here to me.
Ross: Look, I-I drew a sketch about how we're gonna do it. (Showing them) Okay Rach, (points to the sketch) that's you. That's the couch. (Points again.)
Rachel: Ross, I don't, I just don't think it's going to fit.
Ross: Okay, I don't think it's going to pivot anymore.
(As they start back down the couch drops a little bit and gets jammed. They try to free it to no avail.)
Monica: Joey, I thought you were gonna try to be friends first!
Joey: (To Rachel) Well look, hey, it's all your fault!
Joey: Well because you didn't give me advice! No! You gave me a pickup line! As soon as I told her I wanted to y'know, build a foundation and be friends first. I suddenly, through no fault of my own, became irresistible to her! (Pause) And her roommate!
(They all walk over to get a slice.)
(He throws his piece back in the box, runs into the living room, looks for a place to hide the pizza, finds one, slides the box under the couch, sits down on the table, and tries to quickly chew the food in his mouth.)
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe, are you gonna go to jail?!
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
Phoebe: Yep! As long as you understand that I'm going to call my lawyer and once he puts you on the stand he'll make you look like a fool. A fool!
Cop: Okay, so since umm, you're not going to jail tonight I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner with me?
Phoebe: Umm, yeah, I'd like to go out with you officer
Phoebe: Yeah! So--ooh, I gotta ask you though. How did you know where to find me?
Gary: Okay. (He starts to leave.) So I'll come by in a couple hours and pick you up?
Chandler: (To Rachel) He has a gun!
[Scene: The couch store, Ross is talking to a saleswoman.]
Ross: I'd like to return this couch. I'm not satisfied with it.
[The camera cuts to show the couch, which has been cut in half.]
Ross: This couch, is cut in half! I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half!
The Saleswoman: You're telling me this couch was delivered to you like this?!
Phoebe's Assistant: Oh, here comes your 3:00. I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum (walks out, Paolo enters)
Chandler: You know you don't want me to help. You can't have it both ways!
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Oh
Rachel: (To Ross) Great, shoot, what are we gonna do?
Phoebe: Thank God you’re here. Listen to this!
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller talking to Ross.]
Phoebe: (to Ross) This place is awesome!
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
Joey: Yeah. You know why? Cause you came to me first.
Joey: Oh whoa-whoa wait a minute! I have to do it?!
Joey: No dude, you gotta hold your breath until youre ready to answer the question.
Ross: (to Joey): Joey, I'm a little shy.
Chandler: What do you want from me, Ive never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, Im sorry you cant stay, (Rachel is upset about leaving the orgy with the cigarette guy.) but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. (The cigarette guy starts rubbing Chandlers back.) What are you doing? (The guy just nods) All right, listen, Ive got to wake up!
Ross: Well, Ill-Ill be there. I mean I have to wear a costume to all my classes that day anyway so
Chandler: Look, I understand, but I have to put my foot down. Okay? The answer is no.
Janine: Joey? Do you want me to put it all in your room?
Ross: Oh, that'd be great! Okay, but if you do, make sure it seems like you're there to see him, okay, and you're not like doing it as a favour to me.
Ross: Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?
Joey: But Ross, Ross. What do you, what do you think she's going to say?
Rachel: Well yeah, I do, but I decided to take a long lunch and spend some time with my friend Monica. Y'know I-I feel that we don't talk anymore. How are you? What is new with you?
Phoebe: Rachel, come here. (Rachel walks over to Phoebe. Chandler sits down on the lounge-chair.) Okay, I was just starting to take my Thanksgiving nap, and I had another dream about Jack.
Chandler: I also want you to remember that I let you live here rent free!
Ross: Look at me! (Chandler squeaks in an attempt not to make fun of him.)
Ross: Hey, what do you say we celebrate? Champagne? (he goes to get the champagne)
Rachel: To Monica and Chandler... and that knocked up girl in Ohio.
Janice: Well, let's go to a bad one and make out. (they start to kiss and lean back into Monica.)
Phoebe: No, you have to let me in right now!!
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Ross is living with Chandler and Joey. Joey and Ross have built a fort out of boxes, Chandler enters and they stand up slowly.]
Rachel: No Mon, you want to put them in concentric circles. I want to do this.
Erica: So you lied to me before?
(Chandler turns to look at Monica, who has the biggest hair ever, is flushed and in a sweat, and is decidedly sniffing her armpits)
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats what you really want. Yeah, I dont want to be the reason youre unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really dont want to be the reason Im unhappy.
Chandler: It's so good I don't know what I've done to deserve it!
Joey: (shouting to Ross) JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!
Phoebe: Well, Im going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)
Phoebe: If you had to, what would you give up, food or sex?
Ross: It's a day to be thankful.
Rachel: (Joey walks to the door) Although...
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, with the giant entertainment center Joey is exiting from his room.]
Phoebe: Rachel, its okay. You dont have to do this. I believe you. All right? Okay, if-if you say that you kissed Melissa, then you kissed Melissa.
Joey: Well, I dont know. I think it does something to salami.
[Fade to Black, then fade in again with Ross stopped at the doorway.]
Joey: Pantyhose! Yknow? They way they start at your toe and go all the way up to here (He mimed that and stops when he realized he went to far.) I should go take these off shouldnt I?
Phoebe: Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
[Scene: later the bridesmaids and ushers are getting ready to start, Ross is looking for Rachel]
Rachel: (clearly not listening and still trying to find out where Joey went) Uh-huh... right... yeah...
Joey: Oh, I didn't go to college.
Chandler: Where have you been?! I tried to call you! I want to talk to you! I still feel so bad!
(Ross points out Rachel to Chandler and goes over to talk to her. Rachel is checking out her nose in her compact mirror.)
The Photographer: (taking pictures) Great! Thats great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
Rachel: That-that you came on to me?
Ross: Maybe I should stand on your feet! (Gerts shocked and Ross realizes what he said and tries to brush it off.)
Ross: Uh we-we need to talk.
Rachel: Hey! Well, I had to give the kid fifty bucks to stop crying.
Rachel: Ow, that had to hurt!
Ross: Look, look, theres got to be a way we can work past this. Okay, (takes a hold of one of her arms.) I cant imagine, I cant imagine my life without you. (Both of them are starting to cry.) Without, without these arms, and your face, and this heart. Your good heart Rach, (drops to his knees and hugs her around her waist) and, and....
Ross: But, you, you dont want to seem too pushy.
Joey: Thanks, Chandler. (Snuggles up to him)
Ross: Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I cant date you or have a hot plate in my office. I cant believe we have to stop seeing each other.
Rachel: Yknow what? Thats a lot to remember, cant I just tell her youre a pig?
Ross: Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that Im gonna be at that airport and I hope that shell be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachels name, but it didnt mean anything, Okay? Shes-shes just a friend and thats all! (Rachel sits down, depressed.) Thats all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I cant imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that youll tell her that.
Phoebe: How could it not be? I mean pretty soon theyre gonna be having kids, and then theyre just gonna be hanging out with other couples who have kids. And then maybe theyre gonna have to leave the city to be near a Volvo dealership.
Joey groans and gets off the phone: The producer from Days left a message on my machine asking why I wasn't at the parade. They said everybody's pissed off at me.. <whiny voice> And they all got to meet Santa!
Monica: (starting to get up) I gotta go water Pete's plants. (stops) Y'know what, if he's gonna break up with me, maybe I won't water his plants.
Rachel: How would you like to sit in a chair that fully reclines, has a rolling massage, and speakers in the head rest?
Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, (As he is speaking, Joey and the volunteer getting into a shoving match.) and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do (Joey is knocked down.) is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to (Just as the volunteer sits down, Joey pulls him to the ground.)
Rachel: Yeah, I know, I know, I know he does. But I have to tell him how I feel! He deserves to have all the information and then he can make an informed decision.
(Chandler listens to what Nancy says)
Phoebe: (to Monica) You're gonna be okay?
Ross: Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isnt about the room, this is about what the room represents! And unfortunately, this room (Points to Rachels room) could destroy you!!
Phoebe: Oh, the Angelica!! Go! Go! (She bangs on the cabs roof and it pulls away.) (To Ross) You didnt get the annulment?!!
Rachel: Ah, what is this? Well, lets see, we kissed for ten minutes and now we're talking to our friends about it, so I guess this is sixth grade!
Benjamin: Care to venture a guess?
Rachel: (To Joey) Yeah I knowIm goodI got it! (Joey slowly backs away.) (To the boy) Now wait a minute, Ive got one more thing I have to say to you oh right! Shut up!
Rachel: (panics, turns around, picks up the phone, and pretend to talk on it) Hello?! (Listens) Oh, yeah! (To Tag) This is gonna be a while. Excuse me. (Tag leaves and she closes the door behind him, disgustedly.) Yeah!
VAN DAMME: 'Cause Rachel told me uh, you were dying to have a threesome with me and uh, Drew Barrymore. By the way, Drew has some groundrules and...
Monica: Y'know, all these years, I thought you were on my side. But maybe what you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better!
[Time lapse, Phoebe is still asleep only Joey is now passed out next to her and the cars still moving. She wakes up, sees Joey, and screams.]
Monica: Yeah, we used to perform for our family and friends.
Mrs. Geller: Oh honey, come on, have a sense of humour, youve never been able to laugh at yourself.
Chandler: (to Monica) I'm leaving you.
Mike: (to Phoebe) So how've you been?
(Ross starts to scream and run away. He stops in front of the window of Central Perk to check the pursuit and notices Phoebe and Rachel inside looking at him. He mouths, "What?" Then realizes that the women he attacked are closing in so he screams and runs away.)
Hoshi: You are iron. You are steel! Let me ask you something, how come when I call your computer support line, I have to wait an hour and a half?
Mr. Zelner: It's really nice to see you again.
Rachel: Ok, Ross, what�s going on here, are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now?
Ross: (on phone) Ok, ok, sweetheart, I'll see you later. Ok, bye. What? (Sits down next to Rachel) Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. (Doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet) Well you didn't hang up either.
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
Rachel: (Running to the ticket counter) Ooh, ooh, ooh,ooh,ooh. (Slightly out of breath) Hi.
Monica: Well forget it! It doesnt hurt that (tries to take a step) baaad!!!!
Ross: (trying to act manly in front of Janine) No I dont want to play video games, Joey!
Phoebe: Oh! Okay! Yeah, thats okay. (To Patrick) Have a seat. (Sits Patrick down next to Rachel.)
PHOEBE: OK. I just met this producer of this like, teeny record company, who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of Smelly Cat.
[They stop briefly to look at Chandler, but then start fighting again.]
Joey: Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. (to Chandler) Hey, Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?
Ross: I've got to say you guys, that's an incredible gesture!
Missy: I'd love to!
Ross: C'mon you guys, this is really important to us.
Ross: Seriously you guys, I can't believe you're going to spend 250 dollars on the lottery, I mean that's such a bunch of boohaki.