words in movies
Joey: All right, look Im sorry you guys, but its just that I gotta get these new head shots made. And theyre really expensive, yknow? Im down to like three! Well, actually two cause one of em I kinda blackened in some teethWhy did I do that?! (Hits himself in the head.)
Ross: Well isnt there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, cant-cant you pick up, I dont know, an extra shift here?
Phoebe: Or, yknow, I used to beg for money. Of course it helps if youve got yknow a little of this (she sticks her chest out and shakes it) goin on. Wow! I still have it!
Joey: Oh, ha-ha-ha! Ooh! Wait a minute, I used to get medical experiments down on me all the time!
Joey: No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Lets see uh, well I dont want to donate sperm again. (To Ross) I really prefer doing that at the home office yknow? (Ross nods his head.) Ooh-ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or-or spit or something, huh?
Gunther: What did I tell you about talking to your friends while youre working?
Gunther: That guy (points) has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! Hes complained about you three times! (He hands the coffee cup to Joey, assuming that Joey will deliver it and walks away.)
Ross: Hey, what have you guys been up to?
Phoebe: Ohh! We went to a self-defense class today!
Ross: Well, of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming, thats not enough. Look, I studying kara-tay for a long time, and theres a concept you should really be familiar with. Its what the Japanese call (he holds two fingers up to his temple, and he does this every time he says this word) unagi.
Phoebe: You mean in case someone is trying to steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your kettle of fish?
Ross: (moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Ooh! Yknow what? If we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half-hour.
Chandler: Okay, look I need your help, I dont know what to get her for Valentines Day.
Chandler: Well appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend (pause) and her brother, (the camera pans to Ross flashing Joey a very evil look; Joey gets scared) I cant do that we promised wed make each other gifts this year.
Chandler: Yeah, I thought so to until I paper mached one of my eyes shut.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is desperately trying to make his Valentines Day gift. He takes a paper cup, turns it upside down, sticks two pencils into the top, and hangs a coat hanger from the bottom.]
Chandler: Do we have to make the entire thing?
Monica: Yes! Why, did youyou forget to make yours?
Chandler: Of course, of course not. I just have to uh, go over to the place where I-I made it and pick-pick it up.
Monica: Okay. (They kiss.) Okay, I cant wait! This is going to be the best Valentines Day ever! (Chandler giggles and exits.) I cant believe it! Make the presents! Make the presents!
Monica: Im just so excited to make the presents! (Chandler does another sarcastic/scared laugh and leaves.) Shoot!
[Scene: A Medical Research Office, Joey is there to sign up for an experiment, any experiment.]
Joey: (to the receptionist) Hi uh, Im Joey Tribbiani and with all do respect Id like to donate some fluids.
Receptionist: Well, heres a schedule of whats coming up. (Hands it to him.)
Joey: Thanks. (Starts to read it.) Well but this one starts now. (Points to one.)
Ross: Perhaps. Now Im curious, at what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass?
Ross: Im sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but Ilook, I just want you guys to be safe. (Monica comes out to throw out the garbage and Ross screams ) DANGER!!!!! (She completely ignores him and keeps walking.) Ahhh, huh? Unagi.
Joey: (in his head) 2,000 bucks is a lot of money. Oh, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me? (The camera widens its shot to reveal a room full of Joey look-a-likes. Joey looks at the guy next to him and then back at his script.)
Chandler: I cant figure out what to make Monica.
Ross: Yknow what? Shed-shed love this. (Picks up a model of the Saturn V rocket, thats the one that took man to the moon.) Uh, its an exact replica of Apollo 8. I made it in the sixth grade.
Chandler: Yeah, I guess I could use that. I could say that your love sends me to the moon.
Chandler: Wait a minute, I cant give this to her.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, hes still trying to figure out what to make Monica.]
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
[Cut to the living room, Chandler is entering as Monica finishes wrapping her present for him on the kitchen table.]
Chandler: Hey! Hi! You uh, ready to exchange gifts?
Monica: Okay! (She takes her present for him and they move over to sit on the couch.)
Chandler: (momentarily terrified) Maybe well have to listen and see!
Monica: Okay, you ready to open yours?
(He opens his present to find Phoebes sock bunny from earlier.)
Monica: Well, I did one time, and-and I want to start doing it more. See thats what this is about.
Monica: No! No, she doesnt. Uh Phoebe, what she makesthats uhtheyre sock rabbits. They are completely differentOkay! Okay! Okay! I didnt make it! Im sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that were supposed to make the presents!
Monica: No-no, its not okay! Its not! I mean you were just Youre so incredible! You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me! Yknow Im just gonnaI, I am gonna make this up to you! I will! I-I am going to cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and I am going to do anything you want in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
Chandler: Wow! (To the sock bunny still on his hand.) You are way to young to have seen that!
Monica: Oops! (Covers its eyes.) Yknow, your birthday is in a month-and-a-half, what do you say I forget to get you a present for that too?
Monica: We have got to wash that! (Referring to the sock bunny.)
Joey's Look-A-Like: Hey Mon! Hey Chann! (He goes to the fridge) Just gettin a soda! (Does so.)
Joey: Look, I got to apologize on the behalf of Carl.
Joey: Oh, did I not mention? Carl is a guy I hired to be my identical twin for a medical research project.
Joey: Yeah, hes the reason I didnt get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.
Joey: (to Carl) Pizza!! We like Pizza!! Get out!!! (Carl does so.)
(They start to walk into the living room and notice someones head sticking up from behind a chair. The camera cuts to the other side and we see its Ross.)
Joey: (gets very angry) Damnit Carl! (Carl goes to say something more, and Joey silences him with a grunt.)
The Doctor: (entering) (To the receptionist) Can I have the next one please? (Takes the form.) Joey and Tony Tribbiani. (Joey and Carl stand up.)
Chandler: Look, you have done enough! Okay? You have to stop this now.
Monica: I will! But not tonight. For dinner music, I thought we could listen to that tape you made me.
(Monica pushes play and The Way You Look Tonight starts to play.)
(He hesitates, then goes over to dance with her.)
Chandler: No! Youre the sweetest! (He tries to kiss her but Monica backs away with a look that could kill on her face.)
(The women all clap and start to leave as Ross comes up to the instructor. Apparently he was hiding in the back.)
Ross: Yeah, yeah, I was watching. (The instructor just nods and walks away.) Umm, hey, a couple of questions though. Umm, about that-that-that last move where the woman tripped you and then pinned you to the floor, what-what-what-what would you do next?
The Instructor: Well, she would take her keys and try to jam them
Ross: No, I mean its okay, I mean, theyre-theyre my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is trying to explain himself to Monica.]
Chandler: And I will cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and do anything in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
Monica: (pointing to the kitchen) Yeah you will! (Points to the bedroom) And, are you kiddin me?!
Ross: Ah-ha, nowhere to run! (He starts to run towards them.)
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting up by the window because two guys have their couch.]
Rachel: I dont like sitting up here! Im just gonna over (She starts to get up.)
(Ross appears at the window behind them crouched behind a garbage can and ready to spring his attack on who he thinks are Phoebe and Rachel. The camera cuts to the exterior view and Phoebe and Rachel call the shots from inside.)
(Ross starts to scream and run away. He stops in front of the window of Central Perk to check the pursuit and notices Phoebe and Rachel inside looking at him. He mouths, "What?" Then realizes that the women he attacked are closing in so he screams and runs away.)
ROSS: [pulls Rachel aside] I just, I wanted to thank you for our uh, our little talk before.
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Ross: I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. (Stops reading.) All right Joey, we get it. (To Chandler) I'm sorry.
[Phoebe walks over to talk to Rachel.]
Phoebe: Oh really? She said she wants to go away with you?
Ross: now remember you have to imagine me in a kilt.
(He turns his back to Monica and does the international sign for big boobies again.)
Chandler: Look, its my wedding day okay? If you were getting married I would never do anything to upset you.
Elizabeth: Yeah. I felt a little weird about it. Youre a teacher. Im a student. But would you maybe want to go out with me sometime?
Monica: (To Emma) Bouncy baby, Bouncy baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby. (Emma stops crying and falls asleep)
Phoebe: (To Monica) I didnt see this on the menu.
Rachel: (starting to cry) I dont know.
(Joey makes a sound like a game show wheel spinning with the pointer bouncing off of the bars on the wheel as it slows and comes to a stop.)
Joey: Ms. Monroe (She slaps him) Oh there you go. (She storms off, leaving Joey standing next to Dina. They share a nod at the ferocity of the slap they just received.)
Ross: And-and to years of hard work finally paying off.
(Joey comes back into the hallway and starts to pick up a heavy box)
Joey: I do. Theres uh, lets see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids Ive Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty.
MONICA: No he went out to get pizza.
Monica: Chandler come on. We have to hem the new dust ruffle.
Phoebe: Yes. Once. Yeah, a little. He kinda did it to himself. It's not really a good story.
Rachel: Okay uh, but before you do that. I-I, I need you to talk to me.
Phoebe: (sees Ross) Oh Ross no. Be careful, that is very old! Okay? Early Colonial bird merchants used to bring their birds to market in that.
Rachel: Oh not bad. Do you know that feeling when youre trying to blow a Saint Bernard out your ass?
Joey: Thank you! Well, I guess now I know who Im taking to the awards. (Points to Rachel.)
Rachel: I know, I lied! I didnt want her to think I was a terrible mother! I cant even see my own baby!
MONICA: Ok, Mr. Heckles, we'll try to keep it down.
Dedicated to the Memory of Pearl Harmon
Phoebe: Okay, sorry. Yeah. (They go inside to confront the father.)
[Flashback to 524 - TOI Vegas, Part II] [Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, same scene.]
Rachel: Okay. (Joshua goes inside and to Chandler.) Every time.
Monica: Because they dont know were dating. (Again, trying to quickly change subjects.) Do you think we should eat in the kitchen? (Goes to the sink and the stove to cook.)
Rachel: (To Chandler) Im telling you its like watching Bambi learn how to walk.
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is getting shown to her desk by the supervisor.]
Kim: Hi Rachel. Ohh, Ive been meaning to ask you. Have you seen the new Ralph Lauren sheets? Ohh, what am I thinking. Of course you have.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel and Phoebe are looking at some photos and they're sitting next to the window.]
Joey: All righty, what do you say we head back to my place?
Joey: I swear to god, Dad. That's not how they measure pants.
Joey: Shh. Shh. Dont try to talk, well get you up to your room, well soak your feet, youll be okay.
Joey: What? No, no, no! No, no... no... no, no... No, too much is changing, okay? First, Phoebe getting married (to Phoebe) Congratulations! (pointing to Monica and Chandler)... and then these two move into a stupid house in the stupid suburbs...
CHANDLER: Because I went to an all boys high school and God is making up for it.
Rachel: All right! Well, uh... (to Monica) we're gonna hit the beach?
Rachel: Oh! Phoebe, why did you lie to me about working here?
Mona: No, no. Listen, Ross is too nice to say anything, but this is his apartment, and, and, we gotta have some boundaries, so why dont you go back to your place and give us some privacy?
Chandler: I think thats the youngest girl ever to reject me.
Phoebe: (entering) Helloo! Oh! (sees Joey and starts to leave)
Chandler: (entering) Hey, does anybody need anything copied? Im going down to the Xerox place.
Rachel: Oh well then, so Im just going to go back to talking to my friend here. And you can go back to enjoying your little hamburger.
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Ross: Okay enough! This is, this is not going to happen.
Phoebe: Well, but thats what he was for me. And she you know, kind of stole him away, and then... broke his heart... and then he wouldnt even talk to me any more. Because he said he didnt wanna be around... anything that looked like either one of us.
Ross: Now, I know you wanted to bond with my dad, but did you really have to bond to that part?
Ross: Oh, I'm so excited, I mean, apparently I beat out hundreds of other applicants, included five guys I went to graduate school with. Not that I'm keeping score or anything... five!
Joey: No, no, no, see that's why you have to do this job, agents always lie. You know, Estelle just says stuff like 'They went another way', but this, I can use this. (in a very bad Italian accent) I canna work on a new accent.
Chandler: Joey, its been three days, okay.. Your just a little homesick, Okay. Would you just try to relax. Just, just try to enjoy yourself.
Young Monica: (entering the shot) Ross!!! (starts to wipe up the spill)
Chandler: You told him to play the boxer gay!!
Joey: (to Charlie) Alright, have a good time. (they kiss)
Rachel: (makes some unintelligible sound to stop her from leaving) Obviously you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on. Okay? So $800 and I don't call the cops because you're robbing me blind! Blind! (Covers her eyes) Just take cat, leave the money, and run away! Run away! (Uncovers her eyes and sees that the woman has fled) Damnit! (To the cat) Cat, can't you at least smile or something?! (The cat hisses at her again, it sounds like Rachel) Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody?
Rachel: Well, Ive been up since six. Thanks to somebodys dumb-ass rooster.
Phoebe: (to Monica's tapping) Yeah, yeah!
PHOEBE: OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. [singing] Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...
Joey: Sure, if you cared enough to call it first.
ROSS: Hi, Mrs. Green. [He gets up to shake her hand, but she ignores him.]
Rachel: Oh! Oh! Can I give out the candy? I really want to be with the kids right now. Yknow, ever since I got pregnant I-I have the strongest maternal instincts.
Gunther: Im sorry. Was I not supposed to?
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.
[Cut to the other side of the apartment, Ross has gone over to straighten things out with Paolo.]
Rachel: I just want you to know.. Last night.. I'll never forget it.
Phoebe: Oh please, somebody tell me I dont have to go to work today!
[cut to later]
Cynthia: I can't believe you thought that you were going to video tape us having sex on the first date! (She storms away and Rachel enters to confront Joey.)
Phoebe: Well tell that to them. Oh! You cant, their dead.
Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are there waiting for Chandler's cyberchick to arrive]
Phoebe: I dont know, they both want to live in a house of cheese! I dont know how you fight that.
Rachel: Well, I have to say that earns tutu pieces of candy.
Joey: Interesting. all right I'll go out with her again and try to get past it (reaches for the chips) OH SALT BLOATY!
MONICA: That'll teach you to lick my muffin.
MONICA: That's good, have a seat. Um, the doctor says it's gotta be a needle. You're just gonna have to be brave, ok? Can you do that for me?
(Monica walks in, starts to go out on the balcony.)
Chandler: Well, its good that you finally have a place to do that.
Joey: Hey, uhh, I need to talk to you.
Monica: Of course! (She mouths, "I have no idea," to the rest of the gang.)
EDDIE: Ok, then I want to hear you say it, I, I want to hear you say you want me out.
Phoebe: Great! Okay, if youll just excuse me. (To the guy) So, did you hear something you liked?
ROSS: Fine, OK! Heat, heat, heat, and I'm the obsessive one. [goes to the radiator and starts turning the knob] OK, this way is on, so this is. . . [breaks off the knob] off.
Mike: I haven't been home in a couple of days and I need to get some more clothes.
Leslie: Well, I y'know, I was just, umm, I was just thinking and hoping, that umm, maybe youd want to get back together?
Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial dont seem to think its that bad.
Monica: Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?
Chandler: Monica, could you excuse us for a second? I need to talk to the girl with the flowers.
Phoebe: (coming in from the bathroom) Oh, good, good, you guys are here! Listen, how would like to spend tomorrow taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?!
Rachel: (looks at Monica) (to him) Do you want my pickle?
Chandler: You have to give 'em something, you know. Okay, now that was Gerston, Santos, and who's the guy with the moustache?
Chandler: Ill look forward to your call. (Walks away.)
Ross: (to Chandler) Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all?
RACHEL: What happened to uh, MEG.?
Ross: I see. So what do you propose to do?
Rachel: Phoebe, your in pain, would you just go to the dentist, just go.