words in movies
Joey: All right, look Im sorry you guys, but its just that I gotta get these new head shots made. And theyre really expensive, yknow? Im down to like three! Well, actually two cause one of em I kinda blackened in some teethWhy did I do that?! (Hits himself in the head.)
Ross: Well isnt there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, cant-cant you pick up, I dont know, an extra shift here?
Phoebe: Or, yknow, I used to beg for money. Of course it helps if youve got yknow a little of this (she sticks her chest out and shakes it) goin on. Wow! I still have it!
Joey: Oh, ha-ha-ha! Ooh! Wait a minute, I used to get medical experiments down on me all the time!
Joey: No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Lets see uh, well I dont want to donate sperm again. (To Ross) I really prefer doing that at the home office yknow? (Ross nods his head.) Ooh-ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or-or spit or something, huh?
Gunther: What did I tell you about talking to your friends while youre working?
Gunther: That guy (points) has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! Hes complained about you three times! (He hands the coffee cup to Joey, assuming that Joey will deliver it and walks away.)
Ross: Hey, what have you guys been up to?
Phoebe: Ohh! We went to a self-defense class today!
Ross: Well, of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming, thats not enough. Look, I studying kara-tay for a long time, and theres a concept you should really be familiar with. Its what the Japanese call (he holds two fingers up to his temple, and he does this every time he says this word) unagi.
Phoebe: You mean in case someone is trying to steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your kettle of fish?
Ross: (moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Ooh! Yknow what? If we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half-hour.
Chandler: Okay, look I need your help, I dont know what to get her for Valentines Day.
Chandler: Well appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend (pause) and her brother, (the camera pans to Ross flashing Joey a very evil look; Joey gets scared) I cant do that we promised wed make each other gifts this year.
Chandler: Yeah, I thought so to until I paper mached one of my eyes shut.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is desperately trying to make his Valentines Day gift. He takes a paper cup, turns it upside down, sticks two pencils into the top, and hangs a coat hanger from the bottom.]
Chandler: Do we have to make the entire thing?
Monica: Yes! Why, did youyou forget to make yours?
Chandler: Of course, of course not. I just have to uh, go over to the place where I-I made it and pick-pick it up.
Monica: Okay. (They kiss.) Okay, I cant wait! This is going to be the best Valentines Day ever! (Chandler giggles and exits.) I cant believe it! Make the presents! Make the presents!
Monica: Im just so excited to make the presents! (Chandler does another sarcastic/scared laugh and leaves.) Shoot!
[Scene: A Medical Research Office, Joey is there to sign up for an experiment, any experiment.]
Joey: (to the receptionist) Hi uh, Im Joey Tribbiani and with all do respect Id like to donate some fluids.
Receptionist: Well, heres a schedule of whats coming up. (Hands it to him.)
Joey: Thanks. (Starts to read it.) Well but this one starts now. (Points to one.)
Ross: Perhaps. Now Im curious, at what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass?
Ross: Im sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but Ilook, I just want you guys to be safe. (Monica comes out to throw out the garbage and Ross screams ) DANGER!!!!! (She completely ignores him and keeps walking.) Ahhh, huh? Unagi.
Joey: (in his head) 2,000 bucks is a lot of money. Oh, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me? (The camera widens its shot to reveal a room full of Joey look-a-likes. Joey looks at the guy next to him and then back at his script.)
Chandler: I cant figure out what to make Monica.
Ross: Yknow what? Shed-shed love this. (Picks up a model of the Saturn V rocket, thats the one that took man to the moon.) Uh, its an exact replica of Apollo 8. I made it in the sixth grade.
Chandler: Yeah, I guess I could use that. I could say that your love sends me to the moon.
Chandler: Wait a minute, I cant give this to her.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, hes still trying to figure out what to make Monica.]
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
[Cut to the living room, Chandler is entering as Monica finishes wrapping her present for him on the kitchen table.]
Chandler: Hey! Hi! You uh, ready to exchange gifts?
Monica: Okay! (She takes her present for him and they move over to sit on the couch.)
Chandler: (momentarily terrified) Maybe well have to listen and see!
Monica: Okay, you ready to open yours?
(He opens his present to find Phoebes sock bunny from earlier.)
Monica: Well, I did one time, and-and I want to start doing it more. See thats what this is about.
Monica: No! No, she doesnt. Uh Phoebe, what she makesthats uhtheyre sock rabbits. They are completely differentOkay! Okay! Okay! I didnt make it! Im sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that were supposed to make the presents!
Monica: No-no, its not okay! Its not! I mean you were just Youre so incredible! You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me! Yknow Im just gonnaI, I am gonna make this up to you! I will! I-I am going to cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and I am going to do anything you want in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
Chandler: Wow! (To the sock bunny still on his hand.) You are way to young to have seen that!
Monica: Oops! (Covers its eyes.) Yknow, your birthday is in a month-and-a-half, what do you say I forget to get you a present for that too?
Monica: We have got to wash that! (Referring to the sock bunny.)
Joey's Look-A-Like: Hey Mon! Hey Chann! (He goes to the fridge) Just gettin a soda! (Does so.)
Joey: Look, I got to apologize on the behalf of Carl.
Joey: Oh, did I not mention? Carl is a guy I hired to be my identical twin for a medical research project.
Joey: Yeah, hes the reason I didnt get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.
Joey: (to Carl) Pizza!! We like Pizza!! Get out!!! (Carl does so.)
(They start to walk into the living room and notice someones head sticking up from behind a chair. The camera cuts to the other side and we see its Ross.)
Joey: (gets very angry) Damnit Carl! (Carl goes to say something more, and Joey silences him with a grunt.)
The Doctor: (entering) (To the receptionist) Can I have the next one please? (Takes the form.) Joey and Tony Tribbiani. (Joey and Carl stand up.)
Chandler: Look, you have done enough! Okay? You have to stop this now.
Monica: I will! But not tonight. For dinner music, I thought we could listen to that tape you made me.
(Monica pushes play and The Way You Look Tonight starts to play.)
(He hesitates, then goes over to dance with her.)
Chandler: No! Youre the sweetest! (He tries to kiss her but Monica backs away with a look that could kill on her face.)
(The women all clap and start to leave as Ross comes up to the instructor. Apparently he was hiding in the back.)
Ross: Yeah, yeah, I was watching. (The instructor just nods and walks away.) Umm, hey, a couple of questions though. Umm, about that-that-that last move where the woman tripped you and then pinned you to the floor, what-what-what-what would you do next?
The Instructor: Well, she would take her keys and try to jam them
Ross: No, I mean its okay, I mean, theyre-theyre my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is trying to explain himself to Monica.]
Chandler: And I will cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and do anything in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
Monica: (pointing to the kitchen) Yeah you will! (Points to the bedroom) And, are you kiddin me?!
Ross: Ah-ha, nowhere to run! (He starts to run towards them.)
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting up by the window because two guys have their couch.]
Rachel: I dont like sitting up here! Im just gonna over (She starts to get up.)
(Ross appears at the window behind them crouched behind a garbage can and ready to spring his attack on who he thinks are Phoebe and Rachel. The camera cuts to the exterior view and Phoebe and Rachel call the shots from inside.)
(Ross starts to scream and run away. He stops in front of the window of Central Perk to check the pursuit and notices Phoebe and Rachel inside looking at him. He mouths, "What?" Then realizes that the women he attacked are closing in so he screams and runs away.)
Joey: Hey man, look sorry about that Archie thing. Do uh, do you need me to give you some money?
Sarah: (to Joey) Are you a paleontologist?
Ross: Yes, yes it is. Its uh (Aunt Millie uses this opportunity to grab Ross and kiss him on the lips. After she leaves Ross quickly wipes his mouth with a napkin.) Every time on the lips! Why?! Why on lips?!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the guys are now trying to figure out what next to do, since their plan with the stripper backfired on them.]
RACHEL: Yeah, Joey honey, I don't know if this'll mean anything to you but you'll always be pre-approved with us.
David: Well, I was probably going to do it at some point.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are inspecting the damage to the dollhouse.]
Chandler: Okay, Im going to go stand over there. (Points and moves into the living room.)
Ross: (to Charlie) Ready to go?
Charlie: Oh my God! Did you talk to him?
Monica: It's nice to meet you. Janine...?
Chandler: Yes, but theres two in martini, soo everybody back to my office.
Monica: No, I know. But yknow what? It would make me feel better if Lewis apologized to me.
Chandler: (to the receptionist)'Scuse me.
Phoebe: (on phone, in 'Katelynn's' voice) 'Hi, I have Phoebe Buffay returning a page. Okay, well, um, she's in her car I'll have to patch you through.'
[Cut to the guys]
MONICA: If you really want to watch that Serengetti thing, you can.
David: Yeah, Rachel, Chandler, and Ross had to try to get a couch up a staira very narrow New York stairwell and that was probably I-I think it was the hardest Ive-Ive laughed in my life period.
Rachel: Oh yeah, it's fine, it's fine. Sandy was just... was just telling me about how he proposed to his fiancée and it was just sooo beautiful.
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
Chandler: (slaps him on the shoulder) Nice! (goes to Monica)
Chandler: Okay, listen, how far am I gonna have to go with her?
Chandler: David is going to propose to Phoebe tonight!
Joey: (to Charlie after covering himself up again) Nice to meet ya! (Charlie waves hesitantly and Joey leaves)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler use their knees as a table to support the lasagna.]
Chandler: Oh yeah, that sounds great. (starts to leave) Oh, and listen, its, its gonna be....
Joey: (To Ross) Ill tell you about it later. Be cool.
Conan: You could actually see him trying not to fall down.
Ross: Okay, last night after you guys broke up... so sorry to hear about that, by the way... Well, Charlie and I were talking, and..., well...
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Krista: Nice to meet you. I wish you'd told me we were having company, I'd fix myself up!
Monica: Alright heres something, it says to try holding the baby close to your body and then swing her rapidly from side to side.
Joey: Hard to tell, they're so tiny and upside-down. Wait, wait. They're walking away... they're walking away... No, no they're not, they're coming right at us! Run! Run!
Rachel: And also, you know I uh, I was thinking about what you said, you know, about the whole sex thing and... it's probably not a great idea to go down that road again.
Chandler: Yeah, so, what's that supposed to mean?!
Monica: Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell.
Joey: Its London, baby! All right, the hotels here. (Points to the map.) Wait. No, we wanna go No. I know. (Sets the map down.) Im gonna have to go into the map. (So Joey literally steps into the map.)
Joey: Hey Mon, you might wanna make some more lasagna too, because something mightve happened to a huge chunk of it.
Phoebe: Yuh-huh! I was the last one to know when Chandler got bitten by the peacock at the zoo. I was the last one to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in. (Monica gestures at Phoebe to shut up; Joey looks surprised but pleased) Looks like I was second to last.
Chandler: Well, thats the part where you tell him that I moved to France. When actually Ill be in Cuba.
[Scene: A Theater, the gang is in the audience wating for a play of Joey's to start.]
Phoebe: (to Monica) Then why are you answering? Do you at least know what route were on?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is showing off more of her drum skills to Joey by rubbing one of the sticks back and forth across the drum.]
Phoebe: I dont know. I dont know. I cant lie to him again. Oh no Ino! Im just gonna press my breasts up against him.
Rachel: Okay, y'know what uh, actually, that's great. That helps a lot. Thanks. (She leaves them to wrestle.)
Joey: All right, let's think about this. I mean, there's got to be an explanation. Uh... did you do anything to make her mad?
SUSIE: It's nice to see you're not still wearing that denim cap with all the little mirrors on it.
Joey: Oh, y'know the same thing happened to me one time.
Mike: I have a question I need to ask you.
Phoebe: Fine! You go learn from your qualified instructor! But don't come crying to me when everyone's sick and tired of hearing you play Bad, Bad Leroy Brown!!
Rachel: Ross, please, trust me. I buy 30 fashion magazines a month. Now, I don't know who's running for president or who that... NATO guy is, but I do know that you have to get as far away as you can from that hat.
Joey: I met her at the library. I went in to pee.
Chandler: (to the one sitting next to him) Really?
Joey: Dude, I screwed up, you dont have to turn me in!
Rachel: (gasps) Oh my God! Listen to you talkin about having kids. Oh my Joey. (She goes over and hugs him.) Oh, please dont get married before I do.
Ross: Wow. Umm Huh I'm-I'm not sure what to do with that right now.
Monica: I highly doubt that. (they both go to the bathroom)
(They shake hands. Cut to Ross emerging from a hallway, grinning inanely. He is obviously very stoned)
Bitsy: Michael, a pimp spit in her mouth! (Phoebe almost enters the room, but she hears the discussion and waits and evesdrops next to the door-opening.)
Monica:: yea well the weird part is... he was getting off to a shark attack show!
Phoebe: (points to herself) Phoebe. (points to her) Phoebe. Phoebe, yeah. She named me after you I guess.
Rachel: Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. (to Phoebe) Is this actually a lunchbox?
Joey: Uh, okay Ill-Ill-Ill break it down. (He hands the phone to Phoebe, gets up, picks up a chair, and starts banging it on the floor.)
Charlie: Actually, it turned out to be a lot of fun!
Rachel: Oh well, you dont want to do that now?!
Monica: Sure! Got to!
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Did you know this about him?
Mike: You're ready to play?
Chandler: Okay, I've been doing a lot of thinking about us, y'know a lot of uhh, us thinking. And uh, well I guess there's only one-one way to do this. (He slowly and awkwardly gets down on one knee.)
Rachel: (pretending to be offended) What, hey!
Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.
Chandler: (sitting down on the arm of her chair) You didnt think I used to wear glasses, right?
Rachel: Oh, I love to ski! How amazing is this?!
MONICA: Tonight you're supposed to waitress for me, my catering thing, any of those words trigger anything for you?
[He tries to blow it out, and obviously, it doesnt work. He runs over to the sink to get a glass of water to put out the fire, but since Monica is in the shower the water pressure is very low and takes a long time to fill the glass. In desperation he takes the half full glass over and dumps it on the fire, it doesnt work. He then picks up the dollhouse and considers bringing it over to the sink, but decides to take it into the bathroom and use the shower to put it out. He kicks open the door and we hear Monica scream at the top of her lungs.]
Rachel: (draws back) Really. Mindy, if it'll make you feel any better, when I was engaged to him he went through a whole weird thing too.
The Cooking Teacher: (To Monica) Oh! Something smells good over at Monicas station! (She tries Monicas fettuccini.) Oh my God! This is absolutely amazing! Youve never made this before?
Ross: I have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy.
Joey: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.
Monica: Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once.
Mr. Geller: Oh yeah, well who serves steak when theres no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this?
Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's... it's... y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into showbusiness.
Susan: Hey, its so nice to finally meet you!
Chandler: Here goes. (He walks over to her but just stands there.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Charlie: Ross, can I talk to you for a minute?
Chandler: Varrrrrroom! Hey! Watch it lady! Varrrrrrrrrrom! (makes a screeching sound as he pretends to stomp on the brakes.) Hey-hey good lookin! (honks the beds little horn on the steering wheel.) Varrrrrrrrroom. (notices Rachel and stops) All right, Ill leave. My beds so boring.
Joey: They have a kid together, y'know. Theyre like, theyre like a family, and if, I dont know, theres chance they could make that work, I know I wouldnt want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?
Emily: I miss you to. Well, at least I think I do.
Monica: No, I have just to have two more points to beat him!
Joey: (standing up) I will sit with you Dr. Geller. (He goes over to his table and they shake hands.)
Monica: (to Chandler) Honey, you don't have to do this.
Rachel: Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome.
(They walk over to the playpen.)
Kim: (to Nancy) So we talked about the (Chandler sneaks closer to her cigarette) whole presentation yesterday at lunch (Closer) and he wondered if one person would be enough (Closer) to get a take on the trip (Still closer) and I said, "Yeah, absolutely!" (She's interrupted by Chandler who has reached his goal and takes a drag from her cancer stick.)
JOEY: You and Milton have to join us on the boat. Karen'll pack a lunch, you'll bring the kids, we'll make a day of it.
Phoebe: Oh. Okay, well I-I was kinda hoping that I would just be alone yknow to think about my mom and her suicide.
Ross: Its a little early to be drinkin.
Sid: (To Janice) Whatd he say?
Rachel: (taking the phone and hanging it up) Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.