words in movies
Chandler: Well, if you're gonna work for mechanics, those are the ones to work for.
Rachel: Hey... hi, ladies... uh, can I get you anything? (to Monica, quietly): Did you bring the mail?
Rachel: (to Monica): Really? (out loud): Sure, we have scones left! (to Monica): OK, read them to me.
(Camera cuts to Chandler and Ross at table.)
Ross: No, it's not just that. It's justI want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)
Chandler: (to the girls) We were playing poker, alright...
Ross: No, women are welcome to play.
Chandler: There just don't happen to be any women in our games.
Joey: Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker.
Ross: Excuse me, do any of you know how to play?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the guys are teaching the girls how to play poker.]
Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! (gives it to Phoebe)
(Monica comes back to the table with plates of food.)
Phoebe: (to Joey): Oh I see, so then, you were lying.
Rachel: OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow... (gets up to leave)
Rachel: (to Ross): So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.
Chandler: Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less.
Ross: Look, Rachel, this is poker. I play to win, alright? In order for me to win, other people have to lose. So if you're gonna play poker with me, don't expect me to be a 'nice guy,' OK? Cause once those cards are dealt... (claps hands three times)
(The Lion Sleeps Tonight starts to play. Marcel starts to dance.)
Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?
Monica: OK, look. That is Aunt Iris. This woman has been playing poker since she was five. You gotta listen to every word she says. (opens door) Hi!
Aunt Iris: No! That's bluffing. Lesson number one. (walks into kitchen) Let me tell you something... everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap. (to Phoebe): Nice earrings.
Phoebe: Ross, could we please, please, please listen to anything else?
Rachel: Noooo... the interview! She loved me! She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours, we have the same taste in clothes, andoh, I went to camp with her cousin... And, oh, the job is perfect. I can do this. I can do this well!
Joey: Alright now listen, you guys, we talked about it, and if you don't want to play, we completely understand.
Monica: Ha, ha, very funny, very funny. But I think we'd like to give poker another try. Shall we, ladies?
Ross: Uh, Rach, do you want me to shuffle those?
Phoebe: Oh, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it.
Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.
Rachel: Mmm-hmmm. Oh, so typical. Ooo, I'm a man. Ooo, I have a penis. Ooo, I have to win money to exert my power over women. (hands over her money)
Ross: So, you gals wanna hand over your money now? That way, we don't have to go through the formality of actually playing.
Monica: OK, we done with the chit-chat? Are we ready to play some serious poker?
Ross: Uh... to the bathroom.
Monica: Do you want to go to the bathroom, or do you wanna play poker?
Ross: I want to go to the bathroom. (exits)
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no-no, I'm still waiting to hear from that job and the store closes at nine, so you can eat then.
Joey: That's fine. I'll just have a Tic-Tac to hold me over.
Ross: Alright. (to Rachel): Your money's mine, Green.
Rachel: Uh, I will see you... and I'll raise you. (throws chips in pot) What do you say... want to waste another buck?
Ross: Come on, show them to me. (reaches for her cards, Rachel covers them up)
Ross: Show them to me!
Rachel: (deals new hand) Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me. (covers up phone; to Ross) It's about the job.
(Rachel walks into kitchen to talk on the phone.)
(Rachel goes back and sits down. The rest don't know what to say.)
Joey: Look, Rachel, we don't have to do this.
Rachel: Well, I just lost a job, and I'd like to raise the bet five bucks. Does anybody have a problem with that?
Rachel: (to Ross): Loser?
Rachel: (to Monica): Thank you. (to Ross): I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven.
Ross: (to Joey): Joey, I'm a little shy.
Chandler: (to Ross): What do you need, what do you need?
Chandler: Alright, here's ten. (gives it to him)
Ross: (to Rachel): OK, I am calling your seventeen. What do you got?
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Joey: (to Ross): Ahhh, that's alright. Y'know, that's a tough hand to beat.
Chandler: (to Ross): I thought we had them!
(Chandler and Joey look at her, and then look back at him. They dive for Ross's hand to see what he had, and he tries to stop them from looking.)
(Monica picks up a glass to take a drink, everyone ducks as though she was about to throw it.)
(Charlie now also enters the room, Chandler walks to the bathroom)
Joey: Yeah, I think we said good-bye to that when we invented hammer darts.
Monica: Youre not dressed yet?! Were supposed to start having fun in 15 minutes!
Frank: Wait, y'know what, I-I came to you because I thought youd understand! Oh no!! Y'know, I would storm out of here right now if-if I had some money, or a place to go
Joey: All right well, yknow I guess we know what we have to do to get down.
Amy: Yeah, well you know what I cannot believe. That my so-called sister, gets a 30% discount from Ralph Lauren and I still have to pay retail.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Wrap it up, wrap it up, wrap it up
[Cut to Monica and Rachels as Ross walks through the door. Rachel is holding the chrome star and crying.]
Joey: (To Chandler) You?! (To Monica) And-and you?!
Joey: Check it out, hes winning! (to Monica) Petes winning!
Rachel: It's not here Pheebs, it's not here. Ohh, I went to Joey and Chandler's last night! Okay! (Goes to the door.)
Chandler: Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. (gives her a drawer) See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser.
JOEY: See after the scene, Mr. Beatty comes up to me and says 'good actor, bad kisser'. Can you believe that, me not a good kisser, that's like, like Mother Theresa, not a good mother.
Rachel: (handing her the wine) Okay honey, now I'm gonna try to listen from right here!
Chandler: No, we're playing this game I learned at work. You have to name all the states in six minutes.
Joey: Wow! How do you know how to do that?!
Rachel: Okay, you know what/ Youre going to have to call that plane and tell them to swing around and come and pick me up.
Monica to Ross: Hi.
Monica: Sounds like you need to think about what you want, talk to Gavin, and you definitely should talk to Ross
Ross to Monica: Hi.
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
Tim: Awww, Ill miss you too Pheebs. (Starts to leave) And I will be holding you, right here. (Holds his hands over his heart, blows a kiss to Phoebe who catches it, and then leaves and Phoebe throws the kiss back.)
Monica to Amy: So. Welcome. Is this your first time you're seeing Emma?
Monica to Emma: Hey you.
Chandler: (To Joey) Would you put that back on?! Monicas gonna be here any minute!
Ross: Absolutely. (Very Squeaky.) I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, (deep voice) I'm fine. I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. I mean, at first I was like.. (Screams.) But now that I've had time to absorb it; Lovin' this.
RACHEL: Phoebe, how would you do this to me? This was all your idea.
(They start to look around seeing that the living room is undamaged.)
(They start to leave.)
Rachel: Really?! The Plaza?!! Oh daddy!! (Hugs him and Phoebe glares at her.) Right. Daddy, I need to talk to you. Please, sit down.
Chandler: We have to leave for New York in an hour.
Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Josh: Well, it's getting late, I've got to get to the game, so I'm gonna... head.
Rachel: I know. (They hug.) Oh-oh, wait did you hear that-hear that? Listen, Im gettin something from your grandmother, she said that since you get to keep the one bedroom apartment you should give Rachel the purple chair?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
[Scene: The Hospital, it's a montage of Monica and Phoebe's visit to the hospital with My Guy playing in the background. It starts with Monica reading a newspaper to him.]
Rachel: I am so sick of guys. I don't want to look at another guy, I don't want to think about another guy, I don't even want to be near another guy. (Ross crosses arms)
David: Umm, look I-I-I got a confession to make
(Rachel holds her hand in order to support her head. Mr Zellner obviously overheard the conversation.)
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Mona: (To Joey) Wow! Theyre both really strong.
Phoebe: Because Im going to kill him
Phoebe: No! No, you can't arrest me! No!! I won't go back! I won't go back to that hell hole!!
Monica: Ooh, are we allowed to lie in the vows?!
Chandler: Well, I may be drunk, but I know what she said! Then I went over to Beefsteak Julies
(The teacher goes to Joeys station.)
Mrs. Green: Im going to the bathroom.
Joey: (To the rest of the gang) Hey, see that? He just needed his pal to come home. All right, uh, Ive got to go memorise my lines. (Starts to go his bedroom) Me and Charlton Heston bright and early tomorrow morning! Yeah-yeah!
Phoebe: Bye! (Phoebe goes over and joins Monica on the couch.) We said good-bye at the door so as not to flaunt our new love.
Chandler: (trying not to laugh) I see.
Chandler: Look, when Ive been drinking, sometimes I tend to get overly friendly, and Im sorry.
The Interviewer: Absolutely. (They walk to the door.) You can relax; you did great.
Joeys Head: Okay, it all comes down to this. Whatever happens, happens. Destiny.
Rachel: I dont want you to date her!
Rachel: (starting to cry) Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. (They hug.)
Rachel: Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. (Pause) What if the baby needs him?
Monica: Do you guys know what happened to Chandlers barca lounger?
Joey: (starts to imagine it) I cant. I keep seeing it the good way.
Phoebe: (to the students) Oh, Im sorry. Im so rude. Does anyone want to come to the movies?
(They go off to their bedrooms)
Chandler: Tell it to the Time Turtle!
Joey: You said you didnt want to go.
Chandler: You really want to take me?
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Woman: (to her friend) He has the most amazing Porsche under there!
Monica: Well, Im never gonna listen to you again, thats for sure! (Mimicking her.) "Yknow, harm can it do if you go and put your name down?"
Monica: I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
ROSS: Ok, well then get some sense. I mean it took you what, 10 years to get that job, who knows how long it's gonna be till you get another.
Chandler: So youre never actually going to pay me back?
[Cut to the balcony, Ross has just climbed through the window.]
Joey: "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die."
Phoebe: Mon, maybe one of these guys wants to wear your dress.
Monica: Phoebe, don't worry about it. I'm sure she wants to live with you.
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
Rachel: I don't know, I'm not trying to do anything, it's just, we have such a good time when we're together, you know... I mean, aren't you just a... little curious... (insinuating) what that would be like?...
Ross: But I-I was going to see if yknow, maybe you uh, start dating again but thatI mean that-that was all, Rach.
PHOE: Although, you know what? You might want to consider wearing underwear next time. Yeah, cause when you sat down on your throne you could kind of see your... royal subject.
Monica: Chandler theres nothing wrong with crying! I mean you dont have to be so macho all the time.
Ross: People ask me why were not together, I just dont know what to tell them.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is there, minus Ross. Chandler is trying to cheer Joey up about missing Phase Two.]
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh, youre nice to her.
Guru Saj: (entering) Hello, I am Guru Saj-(sees the duck)-Whoa!! (to Joey) Thats supposed to be a duck right? Cause otherwise, this is waaay out of my league.
Rachel: Well, we are ready to try anything.
Kathy: Yeah, they teamed us up as partners. Joey picked three scenes for us to do; all of them had us making out.
Rachel: You like that? (She climbs on the barcalounger seductively, putting her knees next to Joey's hips.) Let's take this into high gear (She pulls the barcalounger lever and seat reclines. She puts one of her knees between his legs and begins to kiss his neck.)
Joey: Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell ya. (To Chandler) I'm sorry man.
Chandler: I know. You're right. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me?
Chandler: Oh God, it freaked me out. Okay, I know it shouldnt have, but it did. I mean I like her, I dont want to stop seeing her, but every so often its like Hey, y'know what, wheres your leg? I mean Im the smallest person in the world arent I? Im the smallest person in the world.
(Rachel turns her head to Ross and Phoebe and mouths, "No way.")
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
[Scene: A wintry February day in New York City, snowplows are clearing the streets. Inside Central Perk, all three girls are paying court to Ross.]
Chandler: Look, don't you see what's happening here. Instead of hitting on her right away, he's becoming her confidant. Now he's gonna be the guy she goes too to complain about you.
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Monica: That tape was never meant to be seen by... (pauses) Joey I would feel more comfortable if I was having this conversation in private.
Ross: I love when you talk dirty to me.
Monica: Y'know what? You're right Phoebe. You're right. Thank you! (Gets up to find Chandler.)
(Chandler starts to follow her into the kitchen.)
Chandler: Okay. (Starts to cry)
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]