words in movies
Chandler: Well, if you're gonna work for mechanics, those are the ones to work for.
Rachel: Hey... hi, ladies... uh, can I get you anything? (to Monica, quietly): Did you bring the mail?
Rachel: (to Monica): Really? (out loud): Sure, we have scones left! (to Monica): OK, read them to me.
(Camera cuts to Chandler and Ross at table.)
Ross: No, it's not just that. It's justI want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)
Chandler: (to the girls) We were playing poker, alright...
Ross: No, women are welcome to play.
Chandler: There just don't happen to be any women in our games.
Joey: Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker.
Ross: Excuse me, do any of you know how to play?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the guys are teaching the girls how to play poker.]
Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! (gives it to Phoebe)
(Monica comes back to the table with plates of food.)
Phoebe: (to Joey): Oh I see, so then, you were lying.
Rachel: OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow... (gets up to leave)
Rachel: (to Ross): So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.
Chandler: Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less.
Ross: Look, Rachel, this is poker. I play to win, alright? In order for me to win, other people have to lose. So if you're gonna play poker with me, don't expect me to be a 'nice guy,' OK? Cause once those cards are dealt... (claps hands three times)
(The Lion Sleeps Tonight starts to play. Marcel starts to dance.)
Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?
Monica: OK, look. That is Aunt Iris. This woman has been playing poker since she was five. You gotta listen to every word she says. (opens door) Hi!
Aunt Iris: No! That's bluffing. Lesson number one. (walks into kitchen) Let me tell you something... everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap. (to Phoebe): Nice earrings.
Phoebe: Ross, could we please, please, please listen to anything else?
Rachel: Noooo... the interview! She loved me! She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours, we have the same taste in clothes, andoh, I went to camp with her cousin... And, oh, the job is perfect. I can do this. I can do this well!
Joey: Alright now listen, you guys, we talked about it, and if you don't want to play, we completely understand.
Monica: Ha, ha, very funny, very funny. But I think we'd like to give poker another try. Shall we, ladies?
Ross: Uh, Rach, do you want me to shuffle those?
Phoebe: Oh, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it.
Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.
Rachel: Mmm-hmmm. Oh, so typical. Ooo, I'm a man. Ooo, I have a penis. Ooo, I have to win money to exert my power over women. (hands over her money)
Ross: So, you gals wanna hand over your money now? That way, we don't have to go through the formality of actually playing.
Monica: OK, we done with the chit-chat? Are we ready to play some serious poker?
Ross: Uh... to the bathroom.
Monica: Do you want to go to the bathroom, or do you wanna play poker?
Ross: I want to go to the bathroom. (exits)
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no-no, I'm still waiting to hear from that job and the store closes at nine, so you can eat then.
Joey: That's fine. I'll just have a Tic-Tac to hold me over.
Ross: Alright. (to Rachel): Your money's mine, Green.
Rachel: Uh, I will see you... and I'll raise you. (throws chips in pot) What do you say... want to waste another buck?
Ross: Come on, show them to me. (reaches for her cards, Rachel covers them up)
Ross: Show them to me!
Rachel: (deals new hand) Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me. (covers up phone; to Ross) It's about the job.
(Rachel walks into kitchen to talk on the phone.)
(Rachel goes back and sits down. The rest don't know what to say.)
Joey: Look, Rachel, we don't have to do this.
Rachel: Well, I just lost a job, and I'd like to raise the bet five bucks. Does anybody have a problem with that?
Rachel: (to Ross): Loser?
Rachel: (to Monica): Thank you. (to Ross): I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven.
Ross: (to Joey): Joey, I'm a little shy.
Chandler: (to Ross): What do you need, what do you need?
Chandler: Alright, here's ten. (gives it to him)
Ross: (to Rachel): OK, I am calling your seventeen. What do you got?
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Joey: (to Ross): Ahhh, that's alright. Y'know, that's a tough hand to beat.
Chandler: (to Ross): I thought we had them!
(Chandler and Joey look at her, and then look back at him. They dive for Ross's hand to see what he had, and he tries to stop them from looking.)
(Monica picks up a glass to take a drink, everyone ducks as though she was about to throw it.)
RACHEL: What? C'mon, talk to me.
RACHEL: Horrible and degrading list of reasons not to be with me?
Phoebe: Why are you lying to him?
Ross: No wait! Look, wait! Okay, you can hang up, but I'm gonna keep calling! I'm gonna, I'm gonna call everyone in England if that's what it takes to get you to talk to me!
Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God.
Phoebe: (singing) Crazy underwear, creepin up my butt. (Jason enters) Crazy underwear, always in a rut. Crazy under-(sees Jason)-wear (In her head) Oh No! What is he doing here? All right, just keep playing, just keep playing. Youll get through this; youll be fine. (She tries to continue the song, but she has lost the ability to pronounce words, and the lyrics come out as gibberish.) (giving up on the song) Okay, thank you. And, as always no one talk to me after the show.
Monica: Oh my God, it's gonna WORK! We're gonna make it work! I'm gonna be a mummy and (to Chandler) you're gonna be a daddy! All right, I'll see you suckers. I'm gonna get me... A BABY! {she leaves)
Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh, okay maybe they put your picture back up they can put you next to Matt Lauer. Look at him, smiling at me. (Giggles) Yeah I know; wed be great together!
Monica: Well you let me know if you can, because yknow I can bake a pie to cover it.
Phoebe: Okay. There may be a way that we can get the other ring back. Cause I heard the guy tell the jeweler where he was going to propose. So maybe we can get him to trade rings or something.
Joey: ...Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven. See, I told you! Less than a hundred steps from our place to here.
Phoebe: Well hello, Mrs. Penella! Thank you so much for coming! Well, okay look, here's your umm, 3-D glasses and Reverend Pong will tell you when to put them on.
Chandler: You dont have to stop having fun just because Im here. Kathy didnt cheat on all of you. (To Joey) Well, except you. (They hug and Chandler goes into the bathroom with the chick and duck following him.)
Monica: Great! Umm, well what-what I was doing in Chandler's room is that umm, I was cleaning it! In fact, he pays me to clean it!
Monica: Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us.
RICHARD: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.
Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... (joining the others) ..see, I was supposed to get married, but, um, I left the guy at the altar.
Monica: All right. (Goes to take off the dress.)
Joey: Well, that's gonna be tough Mon. I mean it's hard for me to be around an attractive woman and not flirt.
Monica: (jumps over a box) Honey, that's a great idea nailing the boxes to the floor!
Ross: No need to point, she knows who Ross is.
Rachel: Yeah, yknow what? Dont look at it. (Realizes the display is their living room) Seriously, dont look at it. (Tries to pull Phoebe away.)
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
JOEY: (entering) Man, I got this close to him (holds up his fingers) and Monica kneed me in the back. What's going on?
Chandler: (to the others) You hear that? You may not be with your families, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here.
Chandler: (In a parent-like tone) Ill talk to them!
ROSS: Open up. We want to talk to you.
Monica: This is Monica! I'm Phoebe's friend. Listen, Phoebe is back with David and he's going to propose to her, and she is going to say "yes" but I know she really wants to be with you!
Mr. Geller: What? Dr. Wilson's an artist! He removed my mole cluster. Wanna see? (He starts to show her as the doorbell rings.)
Rachel: Now, she thinks that I made out with him and I did it to get her job.
Chandler: I dunno what it is, it just doesnt quite feel like Christmas to me.
David: Why not? It's brilliant! (talking to an imaginary Mike) Goodbye Mike, we'll see you at the wedding, fella! (pause) well, we probably won't invite you to the wedding... (to Chandler) Thank you, Chandler. Sincerely.
Mike: (to Phoebe) You look really beautiful.
Ross: No, no. This will always be your place. It would be too sad. Plus, how much a month does it cost to feed Joey?
Ross: Okay, Pheebs: Right hand blue. (Phoebe has to bend over.)Good. (Joey stares at her butt appreciatively)
Phoebe: A little. (She turns around and looks up.) (To the universe) Now youre talking.
Ross: Ive got to say; I know I divorce a lot of women, never thought I would be divorcing you.
Monica: Okay, so you were trying to play bad this whole time.
Phoebe: Me too! (turning to Monica) Monica, do you think we could do it?
Chandler: Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
Chandler: I don't know; I'm not used to girls making passes at me! ... (She lets go of his tie) Wait a minute... am I sexy in Oklahoma?
Carol: I guess so. (Carol starts to breast feed Ben.)
JOEY: No, can we get back to me?
Joey: No way are you cool enough to pull of Clint.
Rachel: (to Monica) So, how was your date?
Monica: Well, theres a lot to think about. I mean, how is she, how is she going to handle this financially? How is she going to juggle work? Does she realize shes not going to have a date again for the next eighteen years?
Rachel: Ohh! This is so exciting! Oh God (Gasps and starts to sing) Come and knock on my door
Rachel: Well, in my defense, you were not supposed to tell each other.
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Monica: All right people listen, Ive got exactly twenty-eight minutes before I have to baste again.
The Director: (entering, drunk) I am hurt! (to Joey and Kate) A plague on both your houses! (walks away)
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
Doug: Of course, you did. Forgot something else too ya bastard! (smacks him on the butt) (to Chandler) Well, what about you? Youre not feeling left out or anything are ya?
RACH: [near tears] No, you don't, Ross. Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.
Chandler: (entering) You can call off the roommate search! (To the potential roommate) Hi! Ill be living here. (Heads for the bathroom.)
Chandler: Well, lets just say that Krog will be fully equipped to destroy the universe again in twelve to fourteen hours.
EDDIE: You, you want, you want me to move out?
JOEY: Oh no-no, it's uh, it's not what you think. We uh, we used it to, you know, fling water balloons off the roof. Remember that, those junior high kids couldn't even get theirs accross the street.
Chandler: (resigning himself to his fate) Chandler. (He quickly sits down.)
(They fall to the couch and start to make out, but Ross stops suddenly.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
Gary: (To Phoebe) So you wanna get some dinner?
JOEY: Yeah, he's just really great to hang around with.
[Scene, The Park: Phoebe and Rachel are getting ready to go running]
Chandler: Well I think its safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
Rachel: They took Ben to the park. Where've you been?
(She opens the door to reveal Ross with a pencil mark from his forehead to his chin.)
Quartet: Your no God's gift to women, that's all in your headdddd. You are just a buttmunch.
Phoebe: Okay, I'm gonna go too. I'm gonna go to the airport. I figure if I hang around there long enough, someone's bound to leave one of those planes unattended.
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, they're talking about how this is going to work.]
DR. BURKE: Only because my parents wanted me to be, I wanted to be a sherrif.
ROSS: I'll take it. My gift to you man.
Monica: Nope, she doesn't have to, I found out who the father is.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Chandler: Yeah y-you, how hard is it to say something? Rachel came over to borrow something.
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Phoebe: Okay (she takes a huge, clearly obsolete cellphone she keeps in a closet and gives it to Monica)
Phoebe: Are you kidding? Im like the one who talked him into it. I like to think of myself as the puppet master of the group.
ROSS: No. You're just gonna have to accept the fact that you're just friends now, OK, you're not... rommmates anymore.
Monica: Hmm, care to make it interesting? Ill bet you that shell have it by this time tomorrow.
Rachel: Hey! Hey, Pheebs, check it out. Yeah, for my desert, I have chosen to make a traditional English truffle!
Ross: Im just trying to help you, move on.
Chandler: Well, I thought that would be the best thing to do.
[Cut to Living Room]
Rachel: What? Ross and Charlie? (Joey nods) Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? Ah, who am I to talk?
MONICA: [sings] They won't take you to the vet.
Chandler: Oh yeah, it's so cool. (He opens his coat and has it pinned to the lining.) Now I gotta go, Officer Bing has gotta, 10-100. (Pause, softly) That's pee-pee. (Heads for the bathroom.)
Phoebe: Good. I'm really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table and are still trying to decide what to do about Janice.]
Amy: Since today... I am going to be a baby stylist.
Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dads garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.
Rachel: whhh wait, you're gonna leave my party to take care of a box of rats?
Rachel: Sure, Ill just sit next to the trans-sexual from purchasing.
Monica: I think so. Se, he-he's not inviting you to his party because he likes you.
Rachel: You guys, Im doing the best I can, anyone else is welcome to try.
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year!