words in movies
Chandler: Well, if you're gonna work for mechanics, those are the ones to work for.
Rachel: Hey... hi, ladies... uh, can I get you anything? (to Monica, quietly): Did you bring the mail?
Rachel: (to Monica): Really? (out loud): Sure, we have scones left! (to Monica): OK, read them to me.
(Camera cuts to Chandler and Ross at table.)
Ross: No, it's not just that. It's justI want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)
Chandler: (to the girls) We were playing poker, alright...
Ross: No, women are welcome to play.
Chandler: There just don't happen to be any women in our games.
Joey: Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker.
Ross: Excuse me, do any of you know how to play?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the guys are teaching the girls how to play poker.]
Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! (gives it to Phoebe)
(Monica comes back to the table with plates of food.)
Phoebe: (to Joey): Oh I see, so then, you were lying.
Rachel: OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow... (gets up to leave)
Rachel: (to Ross): So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.
Chandler: Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less.
Ross: Look, Rachel, this is poker. I play to win, alright? In order for me to win, other people have to lose. So if you're gonna play poker with me, don't expect me to be a 'nice guy,' OK? Cause once those cards are dealt... (claps hands three times)
(The Lion Sleeps Tonight starts to play. Marcel starts to dance.)
Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?
Monica: OK, look. That is Aunt Iris. This woman has been playing poker since she was five. You gotta listen to every word she says. (opens door) Hi!
Aunt Iris: No! That's bluffing. Lesson number one. (walks into kitchen) Let me tell you something... everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap. (to Phoebe): Nice earrings.
Phoebe: Ross, could we please, please, please listen to anything else?
Rachel: Noooo... the interview! She loved me! She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours, we have the same taste in clothes, andoh, I went to camp with her cousin... And, oh, the job is perfect. I can do this. I can do this well!
Joey: Alright now listen, you guys, we talked about it, and if you don't want to play, we completely understand.
Monica: Ha, ha, very funny, very funny. But I think we'd like to give poker another try. Shall we, ladies?
Ross: Uh, Rach, do you want me to shuffle those?
Phoebe: Oh, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it.
Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.
Rachel: Mmm-hmmm. Oh, so typical. Ooo, I'm a man. Ooo, I have a penis. Ooo, I have to win money to exert my power over women. (hands over her money)
Ross: So, you gals wanna hand over your money now? That way, we don't have to go through the formality of actually playing.
Monica: OK, we done with the chit-chat? Are we ready to play some serious poker?
Ross: Uh... to the bathroom.
Monica: Do you want to go to the bathroom, or do you wanna play poker?
Ross: I want to go to the bathroom. (exits)
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no-no, I'm still waiting to hear from that job and the store closes at nine, so you can eat then.
Joey: That's fine. I'll just have a Tic-Tac to hold me over.
Ross: Alright. (to Rachel): Your money's mine, Green.
Rachel: Uh, I will see you... and I'll raise you. (throws chips in pot) What do you say... want to waste another buck?
Ross: Come on, show them to me. (reaches for her cards, Rachel covers them up)
Ross: Show them to me!
Rachel: (deals new hand) Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me. (covers up phone; to Ross) It's about the job.
(Rachel walks into kitchen to talk on the phone.)
(Rachel goes back and sits down. The rest don't know what to say.)
Joey: Look, Rachel, we don't have to do this.
Rachel: Well, I just lost a job, and I'd like to raise the bet five bucks. Does anybody have a problem with that?
Rachel: (to Ross): Loser?
Rachel: (to Monica): Thank you. (to Ross): I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven.
Ross: (to Joey): Joey, I'm a little shy.
Chandler: (to Ross): What do you need, what do you need?
Chandler: Alright, here's ten. (gives it to him)
Ross: (to Rachel): OK, I am calling your seventeen. What do you got?
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Joey: (to Ross): Ahhh, that's alright. Y'know, that's a tough hand to beat.
Chandler: (to Ross): I thought we had them!
(Chandler and Joey look at her, and then look back at him. They dive for Ross's hand to see what he had, and he tries to stop them from looking.)
(Monica picks up a glass to take a drink, everyone ducks as though she was about to throw it.)
Rachel: Really? Okay. Okay, I-Ill go upstairs. (to Paul) If-if you get me something from the car.
Rachel: Sure. I guess. Hey, I hear you don't have to go to London. Yay!
Rachel: No yknow, I dont want to switch! Come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
Chandler: (to another female nurse) Hey, how 'bout it? You, me, Saturday night?
Ross: That, that is funny... (to Joey).... and Rachel keeps touching him.
Monica: (on phone, faking she's sick) I-I'm not gonna be able to make it into work today, I don't feel very good. (Joey makes a high throw and Monica has to catch it way over her head.) (Not sounding sick) Yes!! (Realizes what she just did.) (Sounding sick again) Wow! Uh, for a second there I thought I was really better, but I'm not. (Hangs up and keeps throwing the ball.)
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Chandler: (suppressing a smile) What I do do is manage to uh, create an atmosphere of support for the people working with me.
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
Rachel: Noooo... look, all I know is that I cannot wait a week until I see him. I mean, this is just too big. Y'know, I just, I've just gotta talk to him. I... I gotta... OK, I'll see you later. (opens door)
(Cut to Ross and Rachel, talking next to one of the tables.)
Rachel: Gunther, Gunther, please, Ive worked here for two and a half years, I know the empty trays go over there. (points to the counter.)
Rachel: No you guys, I am not getting in a car with him, youll have to think of something else.
Phoebe: I want to see what he wants first.
Kathy: If you want it to be.
Mark: Hi. I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it, you got the job.
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
Rachel: Thats not true! (Starts to cry.)
Joey: Hey, I don't need violence to enjoy a movie. Just so long as there's a little nudity.
[All by myself is playing. Chandler is sitting in front of a window while it's raining outside. We see Joey through a rainy window. The camera zooms out to show it's just his tabletop water sculpture.]
Rachel: (entering, to Ross) The most unbelievable thing happened to me today.
(Chandler opens the bathroom door to reveal Joey passed out on the toilet with a toothbrush in his mouth.)
(Trying on a hat and talking to his own reflection in the mirror)
Rachel: (to Monica) Did you know he was in there?
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey are you getting Monica and Chandler an engagement present?
Rachel: Phoebe! (goes back to the window)
JOEY: I got one. Which one of us do you think will be the last to get married? [They all look at Chandler]
Joey: (talking to a pineapple in his hand) God, you're beautiful...why are we fighting this?You know you want it to happen as much as I do.
Janice: Oh, you didn't have to do this.
Ross: Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.
Tommy: Ooh, sorry little Mr. Chic-A-Dee, sorry you went doody in my hand! (starts to walk out and stops) (to Rachel) Well, I guess were not going out anymore. Whaa!!!
[Scene: A Video Store, Monica is running in to return a video.]
Joey: Youre gonna have to pee on it.
Phoebe: Yes, I I am with child. (Flash) And I didnt want to say anything because its your day; I didnt want to steal your thunder.
Sarah: Really Mr. Geller, you dont have to do this.
(They get into a wrestling match, that ends with Ross making Rachel paint her forehead with the nail polish. They both end up lying next to each other, stop, and look at each other for a moment.)
Chandler: And I don't wanna say this, I don't you guys to hate me, but uh, I don't think, I can be around that dog anymore. Okay, so either the dog goes, or I go. (An awkward silence ensues.) Oh my god!!
Chandler: I can't remember the last time I got a girl to take care of my monkey.
Joey: (To Ross) Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out. (He hangs up the phone and strands Ross in the bathroom.)
Guru Saj: We appear to have angered it.
JOEY: [reading over her shoulder] Wait, here's one. Uh, would you be willing to cook naked?
WOMAN: You know, I uh, I couldn't help but overhear what you just said, and I think it's time for you to forget about Rose, move on with your life...how 'bout we go get you a drink?
Monica: I gotta tell ya, I think its okay to be that guy.
Ross: Well isnt there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, cant-cant you pick up, I dont know, an extra shift here?
(The passenger in the seat next to Rachel looks at her and seems a little nervous.)
Phoebe: Well, okay, fine, use my happy place. Okay, I'm just gonna, I have to ask that you don't move anything.
Joanna: Oh yes, well theres the coffee too. (to the committee) Rachel can carry two things at once!
Ross: And you thought she was going to be in our way! So, why dont you, uh, open the champagne, and Ill be right back. Ive got a surprise for you.
Rachel: Alright, look, I have to go. I love you, and I will call you the minute I get to Paris.
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Monica: (kneels with him) Chandler, umm, I want you to take just a minute and I want you to think about how ridiculous this sounds.
Joey: (shaking his head as if to say: of course not!) No, no, my mouth says the words, my brain is thinking monster trucks!
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
Ross: There was no song. (to Monica) There was no song!
Chandler: Yes! Remember? Right before we cut the cake, I went up to you and I said
Rachel: And I hope its not an inappropriate time to say this but, youre the best sex I ever had.
Ross: Tag? Y-You're going? (Comes over to Tag) Uh we didn't, uh we didn't get the chance to talk. Uh, so, where did you say you're from again?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol is dropping Ben off for Ross to watch.]
Chandler: You look great. I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal dinner, you know, I so rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them.
Chandler: Yes talk to her. Be a man.
Chandler: Oh yes, and thats what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
RACHEL: Oh that's so cute:� Ross and Mike's first date.� Is that going to be awkward?� I mean, what are you guys going to talk about?
[Scene: The Theatre, after the party. Joey is trying to comfort Kate.]
Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldnt come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Ross: All right everyone, lift! (They and try to lift the car, of course it doesnt raise up) And slide!! (Everyone leans over, but the car still does not move.)
RACH: Oh, I know, I'm sorry you guys. You're just gonna have to get used to the fact that I will not be dating Ross.
Rachel: Uh Will umm, I just want to say that Im real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Ross: (to Chloe) I like this song.
Joey: (To Mr. Treeger) So you ah, ready for our last practice?
Mona: Oh good, youre here. Yeah, and I was worried that it was going to be uncomfortable.
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
[Scene: Mr. Treegers apartment, Joey is there to suck up.]
JANICE: And what? Missed the expression on your face? Janice likes to have her fun.
Monica: I cant! I have to work!
Joey: Hey, that's why I didn't invite you. you have to calm down, alright... go, go get yourself a drink or something...
Chandler: Yes! Ross, you have to stay!
Monica: (not amused by Chandlers joke) I miss Rachel. (To Chandler) No, my parents.
Ross: Yeah! Anyway, I-I still think we should try to patch things up, yknow? Like uh, maybe we could get him to get tickets to another Knicks game and invite him.
Phoebe: I don't know. But, God, Joey seems to be handling it suprisingly well.
Ross: All right, see you guys. (starts to leave)
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
Phoebe: Perhaps because you gave her an engagement ring? Yknow Ross doctors are supposed to be smart.
Ross: (To Joey) Sir Limps-A-Lot, I came up with that.
Chandler: Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred.
Joey: Ye-ye, we go to yours!
Joey: Is it her fault that some of them didnt make it to you?
Phoebe: (to Joey) Youre Franks best man?!
Ross: (to the crowd in the laundromat) All right, show's over. Nothing to see here. (to Rachel) Ok, let's do laundry.
(Rachel unlocks and opens the door to reveal a half-naked Chandler handcuffed to the chair. They both gasp and Chandler stares at them in shock and surprise.)
Ross: You've got to help me my monkey swallowed a 'K'!
Rachel: Thank you. (To Monica) Mon?
Chandler: Yes, and I have to say, I am not just hurt. I am insulted. When I tell somebody I did something...
(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table. Ross is upset)
Phoebe: Oh no, don't hate, you don't want to put that out into the universe.
Barry: We can, we can go to Aruba! When I went there on what would have been our honeymoon, it was, uh... it was really nice. You would've liked it.
Rachel: Ohh, gee. I wonder why she thinks youre going to call her?
Ross: Okay, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Phoebe are there, both ready to break up with their significant others.]