words in movies
Chandler: Well, if you're gonna work for mechanics, those are the ones to work for.
Rachel: Hey... hi, ladies... uh, can I get you anything? (to Monica, quietly): Did you bring the mail?
Rachel: (to Monica): Really? (out loud): Sure, we have scones left! (to Monica): OK, read them to me.
(Camera cuts to Chandler and Ross at table.)
Ross: No, it's not just that. It's justI want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)
Chandler: (to the girls) We were playing poker, alright...
Ross: No, women are welcome to play.
Chandler: There just don't happen to be any women in our games.
Joey: Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker.
Ross: Excuse me, do any of you know how to play?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the guys are teaching the girls how to play poker.]
Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! (gives it to Phoebe)
(Monica comes back to the table with plates of food.)
Phoebe: (to Joey): Oh I see, so then, you were lying.
Rachel: OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow... (gets up to leave)
Rachel: (to Ross): So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.
Chandler: Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less.
Ross: Look, Rachel, this is poker. I play to win, alright? In order for me to win, other people have to lose. So if you're gonna play poker with me, don't expect me to be a 'nice guy,' OK? Cause once those cards are dealt... (claps hands three times)
(The Lion Sleeps Tonight starts to play. Marcel starts to dance.)
Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?
Monica: OK, look. That is Aunt Iris. This woman has been playing poker since she was five. You gotta listen to every word she says. (opens door) Hi!
Aunt Iris: No! That's bluffing. Lesson number one. (walks into kitchen) Let me tell you something... everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap. (to Phoebe): Nice earrings.
Phoebe: Ross, could we please, please, please listen to anything else?
Rachel: Noooo... the interview! She loved me! She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours, we have the same taste in clothes, andoh, I went to camp with her cousin... And, oh, the job is perfect. I can do this. I can do this well!
Joey: Alright now listen, you guys, we talked about it, and if you don't want to play, we completely understand.
Monica: Ha, ha, very funny, very funny. But I think we'd like to give poker another try. Shall we, ladies?
Ross: Uh, Rach, do you want me to shuffle those?
Phoebe: Oh, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it.
Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.
Rachel: Mmm-hmmm. Oh, so typical. Ooo, I'm a man. Ooo, I have a penis. Ooo, I have to win money to exert my power over women. (hands over her money)
Ross: So, you gals wanna hand over your money now? That way, we don't have to go through the formality of actually playing.
Monica: OK, we done with the chit-chat? Are we ready to play some serious poker?
Ross: Uh... to the bathroom.
Monica: Do you want to go to the bathroom, or do you wanna play poker?
Ross: I want to go to the bathroom. (exits)
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no-no, I'm still waiting to hear from that job and the store closes at nine, so you can eat then.
Joey: That's fine. I'll just have a Tic-Tac to hold me over.
Ross: Alright. (to Rachel): Your money's mine, Green.
Rachel: Uh, I will see you... and I'll raise you. (throws chips in pot) What do you say... want to waste another buck?
Ross: Come on, show them to me. (reaches for her cards, Rachel covers them up)
Ross: Show them to me!
Rachel: (deals new hand) Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me. (covers up phone; to Ross) It's about the job.
(Rachel walks into kitchen to talk on the phone.)
(Rachel goes back and sits down. The rest don't know what to say.)
Joey: Look, Rachel, we don't have to do this.
Rachel: Well, I just lost a job, and I'd like to raise the bet five bucks. Does anybody have a problem with that?
Rachel: (to Ross): Loser?
Rachel: (to Monica): Thank you. (to Ross): I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven.
Ross: (to Joey): Joey, I'm a little shy.
Chandler: (to Ross): What do you need, what do you need?
Chandler: Alright, here's ten. (gives it to him)
Ross: (to Rachel): OK, I am calling your seventeen. What do you got?
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Joey: (to Ross): Ahhh, that's alright. Y'know, that's a tough hand to beat.
Chandler: (to Ross): I thought we had them!
(Chandler and Joey look at her, and then look back at him. They dive for Ross's hand to see what he had, and he tries to stop them from looking.)
(Monica picks up a glass to take a drink, everyone ducks as though she was about to throw it.)
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said ummOh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)
Phoebe: (Turning to Chandler) where were you standing?
RACHEL: Ohh, I'm gonna have to get over it. God, see I didn't know that's I had to do, I just have to get over it.
Monica: No I'm not sure that it's the best way to hear everything. Someone get me a glass!
Joey: Well, who's to say what's true? I mean...
Joey: Ah, Im-Im walking down the aisle...Still walking. (Mrs. Waltham takes her place.) Im about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. (Looking at the bridesmaid.) Hey! (Talking to Phoebe.) I told her "Hey." And now Im at the front with Ross. Its Phoebe. (He shows Ross the phone.) He looks pretty mad. Uh...Id better go.
Monica: Guys. I thought you were taking Ross to the game?
Rachel: You want me to just quit my job so that you can feel like youve got a girlfriend?
Pete: Well, if that were true, Id dating my Aunt Ruth. And the two times we went out were just plain awkward. (to Rachel) Come on, you think she should go out with me, dont you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to take some aspirin.]
Monica: We are going to Dick Clarks New Years Rocking Eve!
Chandler: (to his children) Look around, you guys. This was your first home. And it was a happy place, filled with love and laughter. But more important, because of rent control, it was a friggin' steal!
Rachel: Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said that you only have to pay for the stuff that you bought.
(The screen fades to black.)
Ross: Oh, please. Sweetie its hopeless, okay, Im just gonna go. (starts to leave rubbing his neck)
Guy: Dom da-da dom! Here ye! Here ye! Delivery from the Mattress King. (to Phoebe) You Miss Geller?
[Cut to Chandler opening the door to his and Joeys apartment to reveal Monica standing there with a turkey on her head in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Phoebe: Hey you guys, I dont mean to make things worse, but umm, I dont want to live with Rachel anymore.
Rachel: Ross gave it to me.
Monica: Um, well, I was going to, I-I-I really was. But um, then somewhere, just out of nowhere, I didnt.
Chandler: Okay! So yeah, maybe we can get together umm (Joey mimes throwing something in the air, catching it, rolling it out, putting it in an oven and cutting it.) Can you hold for one second please? (To Joey) What?!
Joey: Which helps him get to Phase Three, picturing yourself with other women.
Rachel: Yeah, I feel kinda bad for them, but Im also really psyched cause I dont have to move in here!
Ross: Hey, Im not going to rush into anything!
Rachel: Remind me to introduce you to someone!
Joey: (taking Chandler aside) Hey Chandler, can I talk to you for a second?
Ross: Yeah! Theyre putting together this panel to talk about these fossils they just found in Peru and The Discovery Channels gonna film it!
Chandler: I dont care! (turns around and to the people watching them) I dont care!!
Ross: I have to say you are a much bigger person than I am. I mean after all weve been through, I justyknow I wish I had a brother to reciprocate. Hey, if you ever want to go out with Monica, you have my blessing.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel are at the playground with Emma. Rachel in putting her back in the stroller and Ross is tending to his wound]
RACHEL: Maybe it, maybe it doesn't have to be this tough. I mean, maybe you were on the right track with this whole, you know, spontaneous thing. I mean, women really like that.
Chandler: (answering it) Hello. (listens) (to Ross) Its Gandolf!!! (on phone) So, are you in town? (listens) (disappointed) Oh, well, well maybe next time then. (Hangs up)
Rachel: (stands up) Wow! Oh-okay, look pal, I am not in the mood to be hit on right now! But if you give me your number I will call you some other time.
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
Ross: Hey! There are some men who will do whatever it takes to make their marriage work! Okay? There are some men who will stand by and-and watch as their wives engage in-in what only can be described as a twosome with some-some woman she barely knows from the gym!
Rachel: When a guy breaks up with his girlfriend, what is an appropriate amount of time to wait before you make a move?
Joey: Yeah, but, hey look, dont go through her stuff. She gets really mad.(Chandler gives him a look and walks to the door of his old room.)
Chandler: Of course the packaging does appeal to grown-ups and kids alike.
Chandler: Yeah, you don't want to be stuck with us for the next five weeks.
Judge: Well, based on what I heard, you two certainly dont qualify for an annulment. If you two dont want to be together youll have to file for divorce.
MRS GREEN: This is just so exciting. You know, I never worked. I went straight from my father's house to the sorority house to my husband's house. I am just so proud of you.
Rachel: What? What are you talking about?! You-you're the one who's been telling me to get over Ross and move on. I'm moving on, and you're moving on with me. Come on, give me one good reason why you don't wanna go.
Jill: No! They did! (Points to Phoebe and Ross)
Rachel: Listen, my mum is not bringing the baby back until nine o� clock. So I was hoping you and I could have achance to kind of talk� somebody here?
Chandler: Guys! Guys! Come on! Its Thanksgiving, its not important who wins or loses. The important thing is, (to Joey) the Dutch girl picked me! Me! Not you! Holland loves Chandler! Thank you, Amsterdam! Good night!!
Chandler: Excuse, I seem to have dropped my ball.
Rachel: Well its only different if he wants it to be. I mean, Im not gonna ask him for anything.
Ross: Yeah, its the Ultimate Fighting Combo. Yeah, I saved thirty cents, plus I get to keep the cup. Yay!!
Joey: Why would you need to say hi to them, youve been feeding them for four days?
CHANDLER: [to the woman who just rejected him] All right look. Penis schmenis. We're all people. [She walks away again.]
Ross: A big idiot. Just you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is kinda hard for me.
[Inside Monica and Chandlers. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to everyone.]
Monica: Well, if I had them taken out, then I wouldn't be able to do this. (she pushes Chandler on the couch and brushes her hair and shells against Chandler's chest) You like that, right? (again, she brushes her hair against his chest and hums...)
Rachel: Hello? Like he was really gonna send you one? (To Phoebe) She was a big girl.
Ross: Oh, you-you sure? (She nods yes.) Okay. (To the girl) Okay. So whats uh, whats your name.
Joey: Oh, ha-ha-ha! Ooh! Wait a minute, I used to get medical experiments down on me all the time!
Chandler: (to Ross) I couldn't say that I was naked because she's allowed too see me naked.
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is trying to figure out what to do.]
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
Ross: Joey, come on now, for me! Please, just-just try to focus your sexual energy on someone else.
JOEY: No, not that one. We're trying to figure out who to bring to the Knicks game tonight, we have an extra ticket.
Rachel: Oh no! No! It's actuallyit's very sweet. It's very sweet. Look! (Goes to pet it and it hisses at her.) Yeah, do you want it?
Joey: She was nothing compared to you.
Rachel: Well said. And a uh good example of the fun I was referring to uhh, but I just think Im past the point where I think I can yknow, just have fun.
RACHEL: Oh, no no no no. Oh no no no no. I have to do this to her?
Monica: I would love to do it together!
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
Monica: Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya. You know, I'm your friend (to Phoebe) and Mike's friend (Mike is sceptical).
Rachel: (to Julie) Thank you. (under her breath to Chandler) What a bitch.
Joey: (to Rachel) Bub!!! (Points at her and quiets Rachel.) (To Dina) I cant believe this! Youre the good one! You went to college! Both years! Who did this to you?!
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Thank you so much for this.
Chandler: Okay, so now do you believe that she's attracted to me?
Phoebe: Oh hi Rita! Good! (to Mike) Oh, Rita's a massage client.
Joey: Oh, it was great! I mean we walked all around the village. We went to this ice cream place, split a milkshake, 70/30 but still And guess what, Im thinking about taking her upstate to one of those bed and breakfasts.
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
Monica: I'm sorry, I didn't know to look for Chinese food on the floor.
(Camera pans to Ross, holding his stomach)
Phoebe: Ok. Oh good, I'm dating a Russian cab driver. (to the shop assistant). Seriously does anyone buy this? I smell like beets!
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, the scene is continued from earlier, only Ross has dismissed the class and is now talking to Monica and Rachel.]
Phoebe: No..umm, could I talk to one of them? Its very very important.
Joey: Uh-oh. I hade a pretty hectic day at work too, today I had to open a door and go (looking scared) ohhhh!
(Monica and Paul walk to the door and talk in a low voice so the others can't hear. The others move Monica's table closer to the door so that they can.)
Phoebe: Are you sure? Because I'm really dreading going to this party.
RACHEL: Uh, to Stephanie Schiffer.
Chandler: Of course, of course not. I just have to uh, go over to the place where I-I made it and pick-pick it up.
[cut to Ross from his appartment, holding baby toys and is shocked to see them kissing]
(Chandler jumps into the canoe and sits down. The chick starts chirping and Chandler reaches down to pick him up.)
Rachel: Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too... (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)
Chandler: No, there are great pictures of you standing next to a guy whos going like this (Makes what can only be described as a toothy frown. Henceforth, this shall be known as The Face.)
Phoebe: (To Monica) Anyway, I should go. Okay, bye.
Monica: No, I cant afford this either. No. I-I-Im, Im just to figure out which one I want then Im gonna get it at Kleinmans, this discount place in Brooklyn, day after tomorrow they are having a huge sale.
Hombre Man: (To Joey) You were saying?
[Scene: Heeling Hands Inc., Phoebes work, she is giving a massage to the guy, Rick, she likes.]
Joey: Oh yeah. Hey! Should we give these shirts to the girls? Yknow, kinda like a peace offering.
Monica: Whats hard to believe?
Phoebe: How - how do I get them to name the next one after me?
Joey (to Ross): You know, I had a chance to stop her too!
Chandler: Look at this! (he opens the curtain to a view of New York City)
Joey: How you got three women to marry you, Ill never know.