words in movies
Phoebe: About twenty, a couple people from work who had something else to do.
Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.
Monica: Well, given that we forgot to invite her it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.
Rachel: So my mother is not coming to my baby shower?!
Rachel: Please, make sure she comes. Its really important to me, I mean its my mom!
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
Monica: (on phone) Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but weve decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh my God, my ass is sweating! (on phone) Please! Please! Can you come? Its today at four.
Joey: Oh no, I cant go. Im practicing; I got an audition to be the host of a new game show.
Chandler: Okay, I guess we can lose to junior high girls some other time.
Joey: Its Ba-go-ta, but close enough. Now, you can either pass your turn to Ross or pick a Wicked Wango card.
Chandler: (To Ross) Can you believe how lame this is?
Ross: Im sorry, I dont believe contestants are allowed to talk to each other.
Phoebe: Oh, I told the stripper to be here at five. Thats good right?
Mrs. Green: Try. Theres my little girl. (Goes over to Rachel.)
Phoebe: Yeah I know. Isnt it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
Phoebe: No look, weve apologized twice! I cant do anymore than that. I know you hate it when people are mad at you but you just have to be okay with it.
[Cut to Rachel and Mrs. Green.]
Mrs. Green: Oh my look at that. Only three weeks to go, now have you picked your nanny yet? Now I dont want you to use your housekeeper cause it would just split her focus.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Joey: All right Ross youre in the lead, would you like to take another question or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
Joey: No dude, you gotta hold your breath until youre ready to answer the question.
Ross: Wait a minute, I-I believe Im entitled to use my Angel Pass for a free turn?
Ross: (To Chandler) You dont think its a little crazy that you get all my points just cause you
Chandler: I dont think the contestants are supposed to speak to each other.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
Rachel: She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
Monica: I personally would be honored if she wanted to live with me.
Rachel: What? You guys, come on! What am I going to do?
Phoebe: Well, if you dont want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
Rachel: Youre right. Youre right. I mean Im about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I dont want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! Shes gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
Monica: Thats right. That is right, you go over there and tell her you dont want her to live with you. Do not take no for an answer!
Rachel: Okay. (She goes over to tell her mother.)
Monica: (To Phoebe) This is great! Now shes gonna be mad at Rachel! Yknow what? And Im just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
Phoebe: I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody! Its time to open the presents!
Mrs. Green: Well uh, I dont have a gift because I wasnt invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyones attention.
Rachel: He was a hamster! I am not going to vacuum up my baby!
Rachel: Oh my gosh! Oh wow! Oh, I know what this is! (Shes holding an item with a large suction cup connected to a yellow plastic box, with a long narrow tube and bottle connected the yellow part.) Wait a minute. That cant be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby?
Monica: Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.
Mrs. Green: Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while youre trotting out to the garbage ten times a day?
Joey: (To Chandler) In what John Houston film would you hear this line, "Badges? We dont need no stinkin badges!"
Chandler: Id like to go up the ladder of chance to the golden mud hut please.
Ross: (excited and simultaneously as Chandler) Hungry monkey! (To Chandler) Haaa! (To Joey) Id like a Wicked Wango card!
Joey: Okay, its an audio question, name this television theme song. (Starts humming the theme to I Dream of Genie.)
Chandler: Tell it to the Time Turtle!
Ross: Id like to spin the wheel!
(Joey makes a sound like a game show wheel spinning with the pointer bouncing off of the bars on the wheel as it slows and comes to a stop.)
(Ross gets up and starts to hop on one leg.)
Joey: Correct again! But, you forgot to switch legs between questions, so no hopping bonus!
Joey: Now, over to Chandler.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower has ended and everyone except for Mrs. Green have left who is talking to Rachel while Monica and Phoebe are cleaning up.]
Rachel: Oh mom, I swear Im not an idiot. Ive read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didnt think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The babys coming and I dont know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie?
Mrs. Green: No. Sweetie, youre gonna be fine. (Starts to get up.)
Mrs. Green: Im going to the bathroom.
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Monica: It is going to be okay! (Mrs. Green glances over her shoulder and glares at Monica while she heads for the bathroom.) It was worth a shot.
Rachel: No. Shes going to live with us for eight weeks.
Joey: (announcer voice) Its a pleasure to meet you Ray.
Ray: And this is Duncan (points to the cameraman) and Erin, theyre gonna help us out with the audition. So uh, lets get the camera rolling.
Joey: (to the camera) Hello, Im Joey Tribbiani! Lets play Bamboozled! Erin, you get the first question! In hockey, who is known as The Great One?
Joey: Correct! Now, would you like to pick a Wicked Wango card or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
Joey: Well whats complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance. You go past the Mud Hut through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey; you yank his tail and boom! Youre in Paradise Pond!
Joey: Well whats fun about that? You expect me to be the host of a boring game thats just people standing around answering questions?
Joey: (announcer voice to the camera) Lets play Bamboozled!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mrs. Green is telling Ross what needs to be done to baby proof his apartment.]
Ross: Thats a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things.
Mrs. Green: Well then you really dont need me to live with you.
Ross: Oh, come on, every first time mother feels that way. Youllyoure gonna pick it up. (Rachel doesnt believe that.) Hey! You will! Uh look, yknow when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who-who still used daddys credit card. Do you remember?
Ross: Oh. (Rachel and he start to stand up.)
Monica: (laughs) Youre still so funny. Youre so funny. (To Phoebe) What do I do?
Phoebe: Nothing! You have apologized to her like a million times and shes been nothing but terrible to you. And dont forget you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower, and she hasnt even thanked you for it.
Phoebe: Yeah I mean if you want to say anything to her, Id tell her off.
Monica: Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! (She ignores Monica and Monica follows her out into the hall with Phoebe in tow.) It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasnt on purpose! But what youre during to me now is just plain spiteful!
Phoebe: (To Monica) Wrap it up, wrap it up, wrap it up
Monica: So whenever youre ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day! (Monica and Phoebe reenter the apartment and Monica closes the door on a stunned Mrs. Green.) I cant feel my legs!
Monica: Yeah could-could-could you get me something to drink?
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Joey: She was nothing compared to you.
(Robert leans back on the arm of the chair and allows Chandler to see up his shorts and sees little Robert. Chandler is horrified by this view.)
Joey: (to Gene) I know it could be intimidating for regular people to be around celebrities but... relax, I'm just like you! (pause) Only better looking and richer.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross is about to be attacked by Paulo's cat.]
Chandler: Its your parents anniversary and youre going to talk about their dead pet?
Lady: Well, we already have one offer on it, and I think the lady upstairs is goning to make another one.
(The message is finished. Ross jumps over to the answering machine.)
RACHEL: Oh well, well thank you.� (She laughs.� He stares for a moment.)� Okay, stop.� Stop looking at me like that.� The last time that happened, (points to Ross) that happened.� (points to Emma.)
[Cut to Central Perk, Fat Monica and Rachel are on the couch.]
Ross: All right, I just wanted to check.
Elizabeth: You wanted to see me Professor Geller?
Chandler: [to Kathy] Goodnight.
Chandler: I gotta check out this hot girl! (He heads to the window but realizes something, stops, turns and points at Monica.) There she is! (He dances over to her and kisses her.)
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, Im Joshua, Im here to pick up Rachel.
Monica: (starting to cry) Im a good person. And Im a good chef, and I dont deserve to have marinara sauce all over me! Yknow what, if you want me to quit this bad, then all you have to do is
(Joey listens to his overcoat for a second and sighs, then notices Chandler watching)
Joey: Yes. It's just that she's so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated! Combined! I don't want her to think I'm stupid!
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
Chandler: Yknow what, we have to turn off the porn.
Monica: (to Julie) It's an expression.
Ross: Anyway seriously, uh just just talk to the guy, okay? And tell me how it goes. (walks towards the door until )
Rachel: Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshuas gone so you and Emily are free to go.
Chandler: We have to bust it open, but neither of us can do it!
Rachel: I It justit took me so long to get that desk organized.
Joey: (gets very angry) Damnit Carl! (Carl goes to say something more, and Joey silences him with a grunt.)
(Rachel watches that and slowly backs out to head for home.)
Rachel: Like a little girl. I know. I know. I know. This is all my fault; I wanted him to open up. But God, I didnt know that I was gonna unleash this-this weepy, clingy, moist monster!
(He sits down next to her.)
(Everyone starts to imitate him.)
Ross: No! No sir umm, she means a lot to me. I mean, I careI-I love Rachel.
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Rachel: Well! Good night. (to Ross) Im going upstairs.
(Ross takes the tape roll she's handing him and walks to the guest room while mocking Monica's voice)
Chandler: Oh, great. We have to watch him do yoga in his underwear, but for this he closes the drapes!
Ross: And then she said it was the perfect way to say goodbye.
Joshua: Huh. Oh, boy! (Sits down next to her.) Uhh, I-I dont wear suits to work, and I bought six of them from you.
Phoebe: No, it's not supposed to be funny, it's supposed to be scary.
Rachel: Oh, okay! (She goes over to him and he feels her belly.)
(Ross throws a punch, but Joey ducks and Ross punches the pole. Ross then screams from the pain and turns to Gunther, and Gunther has a huge smile on his face.)
Kate: I dont care. Why, do you want me to care?
[Scene: The 2001 Soapie Awards, Joeys category is up next and the presenter walks to the podium.]
Phoebe: You’re just so mean to each other! And I don’t want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Chandler: (getting in) Okay, something to cover the smell � Oven cleaner! (sprays himself, reads label) Unscented!
Monica: What-what are you doing? Is this supposed to be funny?
Chandler: To yourself. (finishing) Hey-hey-hey, y'know what that's pretty good.
Monica: Maybe a Hello Kitty doll, the ability to walk...
Chandler: I dont see him. (To Monica) Do you see him?
Rachel: Uh Pheebs, we just actually kinda wanted to be alone.
Ross: I just wanted to thank you again for last night, what a great party! And the guys from work had a blast. Yknow, one of them had never been to a bachelor party before. Yeah! And-and another one had never been to a party before, so
Phoebe Sr: Y'know I wanted to tell you yesterday, but I just, I kinda felt all floopy, and...
Monica: (trying to be seductive) Calling Dr. Big, Dr. Big to the bed.
[Cut to inside the apartment.]
JOEY: Let me get that. (to Chandler) You got five bucks?
Rachel: What about all the women you want to bring home?
Sarah: (approaching with two filled balloons in her hands) Nobody! We put them in here! (Indicates the aforementioned balloons causing both of them to scream in delight and start drinking from the balloons.)
Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? Im coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)
[cut to later]
Joey: Yeah, what were you trying to get her to do?!
[cut to later]
Joey: (dejected) Yeah okay. (To Chandler) Even though my tax dollars paid for this car.
[cut to later]
JOEY: How can they do this to me?
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Joey: Im just so nervous! Yknow? The callback isnt until tomorrow at five. I feel like my head is going to explode!
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Joey: Friends, family, dog... Thank you all for being here to witness this blessed event. The cold has now spread to my special place... so I'm gonna do the short version of this. Phoebe and Mike are perfect for each other. And I know I speak for every one here... when I wish them a lifetime of happiness. Who has the rings?
Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?
Monica: Yknow, I really have to tell Rachel, but I We just have to get it over with! Yknow, the next time we see them were just gonna tell them. Okay? Thats it.
[cut to later]
Phoebe: Come on! Let us be guys! Maybe we want to be guys!
[cut to later]
Dr. Green: What, the heart attack or sitting here talking to you?
Rachel: Okay, well you are just gonna have too, okay. Because I already got a Mother and a Father who cannot stay in the same room together, okay, I dont wanna have to have a separate room for you too!! (starts to cry)
[cut to later]
[cut to later]
Paul: Well yeah, it usually, it takes two people to (He taps his index fingers together.)
Monica: Phoebe, do you want to go see a movie after dinner tonight?
(Chandler waits until Jill is looking, then starts to blow a bubble. But instead of blow one, he accidentally spits the gum out of his mouth and hits the wall.)
[cut to later]
Ross: Oh well yeah, actually I was going to talk to her when you guys all came in the room.
[Cut to Living Room]
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
[cut to later]
Ross: (looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock)
[Cut to Living Room]
[Cut to Living Room]
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
[Cut to Living Room]
Joey: What-what are you guys doing here? I thought I told you not to come.
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
Chandler: Y'know what else I can't believe? I had to kiss Phoebe and Rachel every time I left a room, I mean it's too bad they didn't see us having sex.
Joey: Its no big deal, okay? Phoebe and I talked about it. Its just a crush! Its going to go away! (Looks down) Dude, you gotta rearrange your bubbles! Oh!
RACHEL: [sings] And you're no friend to those with noses.
[cut to later]
[cut to later]
Cheryl: Um, would you like to come in?
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Phoebe: (on the other side of the line, still pretending to be Estelle) Joey, it's Estelle. (Joey's eyes bulge up, he looks afraid)