words in movies
Phoebe: About twenty, a couple people from work who had something else to do.
Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.
Monica: Well, given that we forgot to invite her it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.
Rachel: So my mother is not coming to my baby shower?!
Rachel: Please, make sure she comes. Its really important to me, I mean its my mom!
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
Monica: (on phone) Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but weve decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh my God, my ass is sweating! (on phone) Please! Please! Can you come? Its today at four.
Joey: Oh no, I cant go. Im practicing; I got an audition to be the host of a new game show.
Chandler: Okay, I guess we can lose to junior high girls some other time.
Joey: Its Ba-go-ta, but close enough. Now, you can either pass your turn to Ross or pick a Wicked Wango card.
Chandler: (To Ross) Can you believe how lame this is?
Ross: Im sorry, I dont believe contestants are allowed to talk to each other.
Phoebe: Oh, I told the stripper to be here at five. Thats good right?
Mrs. Green: Try. Theres my little girl. (Goes over to Rachel.)
Phoebe: Yeah I know. Isnt it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
Phoebe: No look, weve apologized twice! I cant do anymore than that. I know you hate it when people are mad at you but you just have to be okay with it.
[Cut to Rachel and Mrs. Green.]
Mrs. Green: Oh my look at that. Only three weeks to go, now have you picked your nanny yet? Now I dont want you to use your housekeeper cause it would just split her focus.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Joey: All right Ross youre in the lead, would you like to take another question or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
Joey: No dude, you gotta hold your breath until youre ready to answer the question.
Ross: Wait a minute, I-I believe Im entitled to use my Angel Pass for a free turn?
Ross: (To Chandler) You dont think its a little crazy that you get all my points just cause you
Chandler: I dont think the contestants are supposed to speak to each other.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
Rachel: She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
Monica: I personally would be honored if she wanted to live with me.
Rachel: What? You guys, come on! What am I going to do?
Phoebe: Well, if you dont want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
Rachel: Youre right. Youre right. I mean Im about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I dont want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! Shes gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
Monica: Thats right. That is right, you go over there and tell her you dont want her to live with you. Do not take no for an answer!
Rachel: Okay. (She goes over to tell her mother.)
Monica: (To Phoebe) This is great! Now shes gonna be mad at Rachel! Yknow what? And Im just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
Phoebe: I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody! Its time to open the presents!
Mrs. Green: Well uh, I dont have a gift because I wasnt invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyones attention.
Rachel: He was a hamster! I am not going to vacuum up my baby!
Rachel: Oh my gosh! Oh wow! Oh, I know what this is! (Shes holding an item with a large suction cup connected to a yellow plastic box, with a long narrow tube and bottle connected the yellow part.) Wait a minute. That cant be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby?
Monica: Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.
Mrs. Green: Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while youre trotting out to the garbage ten times a day?
Joey: (To Chandler) In what John Houston film would you hear this line, "Badges? We dont need no stinkin badges!"
Chandler: Id like to go up the ladder of chance to the golden mud hut please.
Ross: (excited and simultaneously as Chandler) Hungry monkey! (To Chandler) Haaa! (To Joey) Id like a Wicked Wango card!
Joey: Okay, its an audio question, name this television theme song. (Starts humming the theme to I Dream of Genie.)
Chandler: Tell it to the Time Turtle!
Ross: Id like to spin the wheel!
(Joey makes a sound like a game show wheel spinning with the pointer bouncing off of the bars on the wheel as it slows and comes to a stop.)
(Ross gets up and starts to hop on one leg.)
Joey: Correct again! But, you forgot to switch legs between questions, so no hopping bonus!
Joey: Now, over to Chandler.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower has ended and everyone except for Mrs. Green have left who is talking to Rachel while Monica and Phoebe are cleaning up.]
Rachel: Oh mom, I swear Im not an idiot. Ive read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didnt think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The babys coming and I dont know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie?
Mrs. Green: No. Sweetie, youre gonna be fine. (Starts to get up.)
Mrs. Green: Im going to the bathroom.
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Monica: It is going to be okay! (Mrs. Green glances over her shoulder and glares at Monica while she heads for the bathroom.) It was worth a shot.
Rachel: No. Shes going to live with us for eight weeks.
Joey: (announcer voice) Its a pleasure to meet you Ray.
Ray: And this is Duncan (points to the cameraman) and Erin, theyre gonna help us out with the audition. So uh, lets get the camera rolling.
Joey: (to the camera) Hello, Im Joey Tribbiani! Lets play Bamboozled! Erin, you get the first question! In hockey, who is known as The Great One?
Joey: Correct! Now, would you like to pick a Wicked Wango card or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
Joey: Well whats complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance. You go past the Mud Hut through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey; you yank his tail and boom! Youre in Paradise Pond!
Joey: Well whats fun about that? You expect me to be the host of a boring game thats just people standing around answering questions?
Joey: (announcer voice to the camera) Lets play Bamboozled!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mrs. Green is telling Ross what needs to be done to baby proof his apartment.]
Ross: Thats a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things.
Mrs. Green: Well then you really dont need me to live with you.
Ross: Oh, come on, every first time mother feels that way. Youllyoure gonna pick it up. (Rachel doesnt believe that.) Hey! You will! Uh look, yknow when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who-who still used daddys credit card. Do you remember?
Ross: Oh. (Rachel and he start to stand up.)
Monica: (laughs) Youre still so funny. Youre so funny. (To Phoebe) What do I do?
Phoebe: Nothing! You have apologized to her like a million times and shes been nothing but terrible to you. And dont forget you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower, and she hasnt even thanked you for it.
Phoebe: Yeah I mean if you want to say anything to her, Id tell her off.
Monica: Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! (She ignores Monica and Monica follows her out into the hall with Phoebe in tow.) It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasnt on purpose! But what youre during to me now is just plain spiteful!
Phoebe: (To Monica) Wrap it up, wrap it up, wrap it up
Monica: So whenever youre ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day! (Monica and Phoebe reenter the apartment and Monica closes the door on a stunned Mrs. Green.) I cant feel my legs!
Monica: Yeah could-could-could you get me something to drink?
Rachel: How about you guys? (Points to Phoebe and Joey.)
Felicity: Um-hum. Talk New York to me again.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Chandler: No. When it comes to sweets, hes surprisingly strict.
Ross: Yknow what I think it is? I think youve made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesnt want to leave.
Monica: Well, she corned me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?!
Monica: No-no-no, that's a video-phone. But hey guys you're not supposed to be here, so please, do not touch anything.
Woman: Well you can have the suite if you want. We dont care about where we stay. Were here to celebrate our love together. We dont have to get free stuff. We just want to be together.
Phoebe: Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? (Mimicking a heartbeat and tapping her chest.) Phoebe, Phoebe.
Joey: Oh, uh, ok. Right this way. All the other pregnant women seem to be goin' in here.
Monica: Oh, well dont take it to the same place you took the stereo, cause theyve had that thing for over a week.
Phoebe: Oh you did? (To Rachel) He did it! He did it!
Joey: Now? You want me to go over there now?
Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.
Chandler: Well yeah! But now that I know that youre having these thoughts, Im back to panic, anxiety, and uh Im definitely gonna need some kind of sports drink.
Rachel: Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!
Monica: (opening the door) (to Pete) Hey!
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
[Cut to another part of the building. We see Marcel jump in through a window and run down some stairs, then Chandler and Joey come down from the upper floor without noticing.]
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me, Im sorry, Im gonna have to call you back, Ive got a Schemp in my office. (hangs up) (to Ross) What are you doing?
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Monica: Didnt your dad used to call you Pumpkin?
Ross: (To Rachel) So umm, where are the other guys?
Ross: And, I dont know, if it starts to rain
Monica: Oh! Do you need me to go with you?
Janine: Well they said I should bring someone. (To Joey) Do you wanna be my dance partner?
Joey: Well, I'm starting to make good money on the show and I'm thinking... I should probably do something with it.
Phoebe: Now if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
Phoebe: (To Rachel and Ross) Well, do you think I should propose?
(Rachel tries to hide her alarm, but she squirms in her chair.)
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
Rachel: But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, yknow you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
Charlie: Actually the wet season is June to December.
(Phoebe uses the remote to stop the Spanish by turning off the television.)
Monica: (to Phoebe) Hey, arent you up next?
Joey: One pregnant woman at a time, please! I just want you to be okay.
Chandler: You know what's not funny? Male Pattern Baldness (Monica stretches her neck to look behind Zack's head and then gives Chandler an "ok" sign)
Rachel: (To Monica) Hey!
Joey: Fine, you want to get the birds, get the birds!
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
Phoebe: Oh my God! I killed him! I killed another one! And this curse is getting stronger too, to bring down something that big.
Ross: You go get em. (to Monica) What did I do to you? Did I hurt you in some way?
Phoebe: (gets up and starts to leave) We want the last six years back!!
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Monica: Yeah. But of course we had to update it a little bit. (To Ross) Hey, by the way, great thinking about catching me!
Janice: Oh no! Where to? (Gasps) Too Paris?
Mischa: (to Monica) So I was wondering....
Phoebe: I would like to make a pledge. I would like to donate $200.
[Scene: Mrs. Verhoevens Apartment, Ross is back to inquire about the elder Verhoevens health or lack there of.]
Chandler: Well, its just the reason that Im asking is because I kind of eh, uh, I was unable toI mean I really wanted too, but I couldnt . There huhhmm, there-there was an incident.
Rachel: I was laughing! You made me laugh! (Monica and Rachel start to squabble)
Ross: The kid...? (To the kid) Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck.
JOEY: Yeah, there's just one thing that might be kind've a problem. See, I, uh, had to kiss this guy.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are helping Monica learn how to roller skate by rolling her between themselves.]
Chandler: Okay. (he starts to leave)
(They move closer to together and Phoebe hesitantly puts her hand on Chandler's hip. He puts his hand on her left hip but then decides to put his hand on her left hip. Phoebe then grabs his butt. Chandler goes for her breast, but stops and puts his hand on her shoulder.)
Ken: That�s right. Is it true, that the reason you are here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?
Joey: What?! He got to do it at your first wedding!
Ross: (to Monica) You wanna wander in the hall? (to Ben) Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the festival of lights?
Joey: Well, it's like, last night, I couldn't do the thing that usually makes me great. So I had to do all this other stuff. And the response I got... man, oh man, it was like a ticker tape parade!
Joshua: Oh yeah, yeah uh, its down the hall and uh, second door to your left.
MR. GREENE: What? The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday?
Phoebe: Yeah, and what a great way to say, "I secretly love you, roommate's girlfriend!"
Ross: Can I talk to you for a minute?
Chandler: Oh, you get used to it.
Jay Leno: (On TV to Dick Clark) Is there any entertainment there? What are people doing?
Monica: (To Rachel) Wow! It's really red! You should go see my eye doctor.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, were off.
Chandler: (reading the list) Drop off my dry cleaning. Pick up my vitamins. Teach me how to spell vitamins. Wear in my new jeans.
Ross: This couch, is cut in half! I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half!
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Rachel: Well would you like me to lie down on the table?
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is humming the Star Wars theme. Rachel enters, with her hair done up like Princess Leia's, and wearing a belly dancer's outfit, to simulate the gold bikini thing.]
Chandler: But we're not ready to tell yet!
Chandler: (To Monica) Happy plane-aversary.
Joey: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. Ill cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.
Ross: Yes. I find it to be something of a conversation piece.
Phoebe: (to Monica, whos entering) Hey, youre early.
Rachel: (entering) I didnt ask you to do it!
Ross: Dude, we got to talk.
Phoebe: So umm, Im gonna get us some drinks. (To Rachel) Would you help me out?
Ross: (To the still half asleep Professor) Oh my God! You really want me to be the keynote speaker? Thank you! (hugs him whilst still on his lap)
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
Rachel: Okay no way, you cannot use that to get the cute guy and the last blueberry muffin.
Monica: Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle.
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Barry: See, about a month ago, I wanted to hurt you. More than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I'm an orthodontist.
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
Ross: The flirting! Aren't you supposed to be going out with, I don't know hmm, let's say my sister?!
Rachel: Uh- which one of us are you talking to there, Barr?
Mrs. Geller: And the next time you cater for me, there will be nothing but ice in the freezer. (She starts to bite her nails)
(Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe start to pick through the lasagne as there's a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
(Rachel feeds something to Paolo. He eats it and licks her hand)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Mike is blowing a note from his beer bottle.� Ross stares off to the side.)
Rachel: Well, can I talk to you for a sec?
Ross: Okay, okay! Im going. Im going. (goes across the hall to knock on another door.)
(She turns around and throws the bouquet to Phoebe.)
Ross: No, no I dont want to do anything to you. All right? I just want to tell you that Im not mad at you and and that I certainly do not hate you. I just, I just came here to say that. (Starts to leave.)