words in movies
Monica: Theres still so much to do. Have you written your vows yet?
Chandler: I figured Id buy those. Pat, Id like to buy a vow. (Laughs)
Monica: Sweetie, you know I have no sense of humor when it comes to the wedding.
Monica: No! But I know exactly what Im going to say.
Chandler: Do you happen to know what Im going to say?
Chandler: (writing) Monica, there are no words (To Joey and Ross) There are no words! This should not be this hard!
Joey: All right, uh (To Ross) Oh hey, youve done this before Ross, well what did you say when you made up your vows?
Ross: Well with Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. She made no such promise.
Chandler: Im so pathetic! Monica knows what she wants to say! You shouldve seen her. Writing, writing, writing!
Monica: You have to help me! Im supposed to be writing my vows and all I have is this! (Shows them what shes been working on.)
[Cut to the guys.]
[Flashback to when Chandler was introduced to Monica in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
[Cut to the girls.]
[Flashback to The One With The Jellyfish, Chandler and Monica are lying on the beach.]
[Cut back to the girls.]
Monica: Ooh, are we allowed to lie in the vows?!
Phoebe: Well maybe you dont talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about yknow all the things that hes taught you. Like (They all try to think about one example and dont succeed.) Or all the things you taught him.
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
Monica: Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. (She starts labelling them) You got one, two three, four (Chandler is shocked to find out theres more than three), five, six, and seven!
Chandler: (shocked) There are seven?! (Points to one) Thats one?
[Cut to the guys.]
Chandler: (writes what Joey said and waits for him to go on) Yeah?
[Cut to Ross leaping into Chandlers Hotel room in London in The One With Rosss Wedding.]
Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)
[Cut to Chandler opening the door to his and Joeys apartment to reveal Monica standing there with a turkey on her head in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Chandler: This is not going to work.
[Cut to Chandler trying to hint to Monica that he wanted to move in with her in The One After Vegas.]
[Cut to Chandler entering his and Monicas apartment alight with a thousand candles in The One With The Proposal.]
(He walks dejectedly into his apartment to find it lit with about a thousand candles and Monica standing in the living room.)
Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
(He turns to look at Joey who smiles slyly and closes the door leaving them alone.)
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Rachel: Hey, what have you guys been up to?
[Flashback to Joey interrupting a bath Monica and Chandler are sharing in The One With All The Kissing. Monica dives underwater as Joey opens the door.]
[Cut back to Central Perk.]
[This starts a series of flashbacks starting with Monica and Chandler forcing Joey to keep his new found knowledge of their secret relationship in Monicas bedroom in The One With All the Kips.]
Joey: (To Chandler) You?! (To Monica) And-and you?!
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Monica: Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell.
[Cut to Rachel listening to a phone conversation between Chandler and Monica in The One With All the Resolutions.]
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
[Cut to Phoebe in Rosss new apartment looking at Monica and Chandler and what theyre about to do in The One Where Everybody Finds Out.]
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!
Rachel: (trying to divert his attention from the window by jumping up and down) HI!! Hi!
Rachel: Nothing! Oh God, we're just so excited that you want to get this apartment!
Ross: Actually, it looks really good. (Turns towards the window and now Phoebe starts jumping to divert his attention.)
Phoebe: (Screaming incoherently.) Get in here!!! (Motions to join her and Rachel.)
[Cut to later in that episode in Central Perk, a meeting with Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey where they discuss Chandler and Monica.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
Chandler: Okay, so now do you believe that she's attracted to me?
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Joey: And Rachel. I would've told you but they made me promise not to tell!
[Cut to later in that episode. Phoebe is telling Rachel in Monica and Chandlers that Chandler wants to make a date with Phoebe.]
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
[Cut to later in that episode. Chandler is in his bathroom with Monica, and hes panicking on how far Phoebe is pushing him.]
Chandler: Listen, this is totally getting out of hand! Okay? She wants me to put lotion on her!
[Cut to the hallway where Phoebe is conferring with Rachel.]
Phoebe: He's not backing down. He went to get lotion.
Joey: I like that! (To Phoebe) Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! (He swiftly rips open the front of Phoebe's dress revealing her bra.)
[Cut to the bathroom.]
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.]
Phoebe: Umm, not without you, lover. (She slowly walks over to him and is showcasing her bra.) So, this is my bra.
(They move closer to together and Phoebe hesitantly puts her hand on Chandler's hip. He puts his hand on her left hip but then decides to put his hand on her left hip. Phoebe then grabs his butt. Chandler goes for her breast, but stops and puts his hand on her shoulder.)
Chandler: Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do but-but kiss.
[Cut to later in that episode. Ross is showing his boss his new place and notices something in the window.]
Phoebe: How could it not be? I mean pretty soon theyre gonna be having kids, and then theyre just gonna be hanging out with other couples who have kids. And then maybe theyre gonna have to leave the city to be near a Volvo dealership.
Joey: I dont want them to move to a Volvo dealership!
[Flashback to the gang in Central Perk in The One Where Nana Dies Twice, theyre all going through an old photo album.]
[Cut back to Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh, thats beautiful.
Joey: (To Chandler) (laughing) Funny one! Thats good!
Rachel: (To Monica) Monica, will-will you marry me?
(Ross points to the explanation and he gets it.)
Ross: (To Chandler) Oh man, this is hilarious.
Joey: (starting to cry) I have never known love like this.
Gunther: (to Monica and Phoebe) Hey guys.
Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! (gives it to Phoebe)
Phoebe: (simultaneous to the others) Ble-blah-blar Blargh!
[cut to the girls huddle]
Rachel: To be nice.
(With that we go into a little flashback about the guys memories of the duck. The first one is Joey playing with him in the bathtub and drying him off. Then its Chandler sitting on his couch after they moved into the girls apartment, and Chandler reading to him in bed, and him watching Baywatch when all they had was the canoe and the duck was in a bucket of water. Then we see Ross eating some cereal and the duck watching him. He takes a lamp and moves the duck off of the table. Then its Chandler shooing them out of the bathroom in the girls apartment, Joey revealing their disco cubby hole in the entertainment-center, then Chandler playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with them, and its concluded with various scenes with the duck flapping its wings. And the guys staring into the distance in remembrance of the duck.)
Ross: Phoebe, you cant get out of this! Okay? You have to learn how to ride a bike!
Phoebe: Wow. Okay, I dont know how to talk to you.
(Cut to Chandler)
Joey: Weve got a box. (Motions to a large wooden box next to him.)
Joey: Did you tell the guy you wanted to have sex with his wife and then fall right out of your chair?
Kathy: Well, uh, when Joey gave it to me, he said, "This is 'cause I know ya like Rabbits, and I know ya like cheese." Thanks. I love it. And I know how hard it must have been for you to find.
(Cut to Ross and Monica)
The Director: Oh thats great! Okay, well Ive heard everything I need to hear. I just need to uh, Leslie
Monica: Yeah, well you call her and tell her that yknow when we were kids her precious little Frannie tried to undress me several times, okay? And if I hadnt have stopped her, there probably wouldnt even be a wedding to go too.
Monica: Well I didnt want everyone to think I was stupid.
Katie: Hey, where are we going to lunch?
Joey: Hey Pheebs! (He sits down next to her.)
INTERCOM: Dr. Remore, report to first floor emergency, stat.
Ross: Emily? Emily! Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Emily! (He picks up a lamp and hands it to Chandler, for no reason.) It's Emily everyone! Shush-shush-shhst! (to Emily) Hi!
Chandler: Yknow what? Theres some nice guys at my office, do you want me to set you up?
Chandler: Well, listen, don't tell us what's gonna happen though, 'cause I like to be surprised.
Rachel: (looks around for the camera) Okay. Umm, well, first I would like to start by apologizing for kissing you and uh, for yelling at you.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Ross is returning to find another couple has taken the place of Marc and Julie.]
Joey: Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. (To Chandler.) You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?
(She laughs at the childhood memory. Phoebe smiles at being able to make her point.)
Phoebe: But no, because a doctor wont be able to help him, its just gonna yknow naturally pass through his system in like seven years.
[Scene: The Hospital, Monica and Rachel are waiting for the doctors to arrive. They enter and are played by Noah Wyle and George Clooney.]
Ross: So is everybody here? I got here a little early myself. Let us begin. Now, the hydrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations. (He moves to the map and we see why he made it to class on time, hes wearing in-line skates and hasnt taken them off.) Here. (Points to the map, somewhere in the Middle East, then spins on the skates and points to the map.) Here. (China.) Now as for the hydrosaurs
Monica: Okay, is this like 'I have an early class tomorrow' or 'I'm secretly married to a goat?'
Phoebe: Okay. All right. (Hands her the phone.) Good luck explaining all the calls to China.
[Chandler starts to leave as Janine enters]
Monica: I thought you said you were going to do nothing.
PHOEBE: Yes, yes, and it's, and we always have to go to, you know, someplace nice, you know? God, and it's not like we can say anything about it, 'cause, like this birthday thing, it's for Ross.
Chandler: Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think thats, I think thats really cool.
Phoebe: Oh, Im sorry. But I really like this guy. And I think he really happens to like me.
Monica: This is Rachel. I mean, what are you gonna do, never going to talk to her again? I mean I know its weird, its awkward, but you gotta at least try.
Rachel: (to Ross) Tell him.
Monica's Boyfriend: Yknow what honey? I got to get back to the hospital.
Rachel: Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.
Chandler: Ok, so it's just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?
Rachel: Excellent! Stick it in the ice bucket, the phone is off the hook, and in the interest of powering through (Starts to remove her bra from under her clothes)...
MONICA: Ya know, you had no right to go out with him.
[cut to later in the same scene]
Chandler: O-kay. I'll see if I can find Ross. (Goes off to find Ross.)
Joey: Oh, okay. (to Ross) The what?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning. Chandler is sitting and staring at his phone. Monica enters and creeps up next to Chandler.]
Monica: I think Ill help her out. (She gets up to go over and help Rachel, and reveals she has no pants.) (to Rachel) What is going on here?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, it's Rachel birthday party and Chandler is about to spill the beans.]
Joey: (looking in the Yellow Pages) Look, maybe I need to try a real teacher! Right here! Here! Andy Cooper, he teaches guitar and look ooh, there's a nice picture of him with a little kid and THE KID'S GOT A GUITAR!!!!!! (Storms out.)
(They put on their glasses and try to find their way to their seats.)
Chandler: Can somebody else hug him? I have to stay by the window.
Ross: LookOkay, Im just gonnaIm gonna have to go find him and bring him back! Okay? You-you make sure Monica does not find out, okay?
RACHEL: No! They didn't even talk to each other. God, how was I supposed to know they were having problems?
Chandler: There's this thing I really want us to do. I read about it in Maxim...
Rachel: I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late.
Doctor: Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?
Phoebe: Well, if you dont want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
Ross: Alright, alright, maybe it'll take my mind off it. Do you promise to buy me a big thumb finger?
Joey: Three tickets to today's Rangers game!!
Joey: (to Leslie) Ah, anything we might of heard of?
Ross: What am I going to do?
Joey: Yeah, theres this superintendents dance, the Super Ball. I dont know, and he wants to impress Marge, this lady super that hes a crush on.
Phoebe: What? (He leans in to kiss her.) Oh. (They kiss and Phoebe pauses.) Ooh. (Pause) Whoa! That one kept going. (Exits.)
JOEY: Yes! Yeah, it's like they're always saying "let's go here, let's go there". Like we can afford to go here and there.
Ross: (returning with the coffee) Okay here we are Paul, Elizabeth. (He sets down their cups.) So I hope you guys were finding something to talk about.
Malcom: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I tried to stop, but I couldn't. I'm so pathetic.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Its closer to dinner. Monica has just told everyone that Tim is coming to dinner.]
Monica: My mothers driving me crazy, but Ross is getting married. Im happy. (A drunken man approaches.) Im not going to let anything spoil that.
Ross: Yknow your probably not allowed to sleep with any of your students.
Monica: (to clerk) Hi.
Richard: Its good to see you.
Monica: Its good to see you too.
RICHARD: Ooh, duct tape. Was I supposed to bring something too?
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey and Rachel are there to give Jessica her award.]
Phoebe: I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.
Ross: And what are you going to do for him?
BEST MAN: No, no, no now in all seriousness, its not a lot of women would've had the guts to come back here tonight, and even fewer, who would do it with their asses hanging out! (da-doom-chesh)
Aunt Iris: No! That's bluffing. Lesson number one. (walks into kitchen) Let me tell you something... everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap. (to Phoebe): Nice earrings.
Woman On Train: Were at my stop. But would you like to have coffee?
Chandler: Im here to see Mary-Angela.
Mrs. Geller: Oh no, dont be silly. I just bet Id need these. (Opens the freezer to reveal )
Chandler: Good, God's speed, good people! (he starts to close the door, turns around and sees Wendy) You're not gonna go?
Ross: I mean we dont want to go down that road do we?
Rachel: Fine! Im sorry for your loss! (Hands it back to her.)
Joey: OK. (Ross goes out on the balcony to talk to Rachel)
Chandler: Look forget it okay? I dont want to go. I dont want to see him. I dont wanna.
Ross: (on the phone) Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? (pause) Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? (pause) Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.
MOVER: Uh, the dog. [points to a big poecelain greyhound]
Whitney: Were so sorry. (They get up to leave.)
Phoebe: Well, 'cause then they'd be like my mom used to make them, you know, before she died.
Phoebe: I feel like my face is swelling. (To Monica) Is my face swelling?
Rachel: Yeah, yeah and you know what, I know she's gonna wanna run again, I just don't know how to get out of it, I mean, I live with her.
Joey: Oh no, I cant go. Im practicing; I got an audition to be the host of a new game show.
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to Richard on the phone.]
Monica: Perhaps, you would like me to turn like this, (turns sideways on the couch) so that you can bunny bump against my back.
Rachel: So you know how to fix it?
Ross: Oh great! That means Im stuck with, "So, we were watching you in there (Points to the TV) and you were sittin right here! Whoa!"
Joey: I was going for quiet desperation. But if you have to ask...