words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
Monica: (To Rachel) Wow! It's really red! You should go see my eye doctor.
Rachel: Well, I'm sorry I'm not going to an eye doctor!
Ross: Anytime anything comes close to touching her eye or anyone else's she like freaks out. Watch! Watch! (He takes his finger and moves it towards his eye.)
Ross: Hey, does anybody want to get some lunch? All those in favor say I? (Pokes his eye)
Ross: All right, I gotta go. I'm taking Ben to the park.
Phoebe: (after he's gone) I am so sorry you got caught in the middle of that. I didn't mean to be so out there. I am furious with him!
Joey: And the best part is, we're filming in the desert outside Vegas! (To Chandler) And you know what that means buddy!
Joey: Road trip! Yeah, we can rent a car! I just have to be there by Tuesday!
Phoebe: No! No, her cab! She probably won't be using it; you can drive it to Las Vegas.
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa, what are we going to do about my job?
Chandler: All right, great, road trip baby! (To Monica) This okay with you?
Monica: Chandler! You don't have to ask for my permission. (Quietly) You can go.
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) All right! Let's get this over with! Ugh! (She walks by the table and notices that no one is looking and accidentally on purpose knocks over the open cereal box.) Ohhh! No! Look what I did! (She starts walking through the mess. {Also, notice the continuity error in this scene. Note the position of the box and dispersal pattern of the cereal before and after the camera cut.}) Oh, I mean, look at this mess! I mean, we're probably gonna have to clean this up! Y'know? We're gonna have to reschedule!
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
Joey: I can't decide which route to take to Vegas. Hey, you've traveled a lot right?
Joey: Well, back to square one.
Phoebe: Oh, I know a way that you can decide! All right, I'm going to ask you a series of questions and you answer as quickly as you can.
Phoebe: Good, but wait. Okay, all right, here we go. Now I want you to relax. Take a deep breath. Clear your mind. (Quickly) Which do you like better peanut butter or egg whites?
Ross: Uhh, not much. You guys want to see a movie tonight?
Joey: Sure, what do you want to see?
Phoebe: Umm, no thank you. (She gets up and moves to the couch. They were at a table previously.)
(Ross pauses and looks at him, Joey motions for him to hurry up.)
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Dr. Miller: Okay. You've got a small, minor infection in that left eye. I want you to take these drops three times a day and you'll be as good as new.
Monica: I sure do! (She runs over to a drawer, opens it, and grabs a lollipop.) (To Rachel) And you don't get one!
Joey: Hey! You ready to go?
Chandler: Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough? (Holds up 3 of them in different colors.)
{There's another continuity error here. Before Monica says I love you, Chandler's holding the vests so that you couldn't see the collar, you could see all three, and they were folding nicely. After she says the line and the camera cuts back to Chandler, you can only see two out of the three, you can see the collar of the top one, and it looks like it was folded sloppily, unlike before. Hey, you notice things while spending this much time on this!}
Ross: I just wanna say good-bye to you guys and to see if you guys will place a little bet for me, huh? Twenty bucks on black 15.
(Joey nods to Chandler, no way!)
Joey: Anybody want to say good-bye to me at the car?
Rachel: Oh honey, I'll say good-bye to you at the car if you don't mind the puss.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what 'cha reading? (Phoebe ignores him) Pheebs? (Turns away) Hello? (He sits down next to her and she moves over a bit.) Phoebe? (He moves closer and she keeps moving away.) Phoe-Phoebe! (They end up hanging over the arm rest.) Come on! (He grabs the magazine away from her.)
(Ross isn't sure what to do with that comment.)
[Scene: Phoebe's cab, Joey and Chandler are headed across the George Washington bridge on their way to Las Vegas. Joey is driving.]
Joey: Man, I'm getting pretty tired. You're might have to take over soon.
Joey: Ooh, hey, I know how we can decide! All right, uh, I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions and then you have to answer real fast. Okay? So uh, clear your mind Clear it right out! Clear it out! Clear!
Joey: You don't think this is going to be a big break for me?
Chandler: Look Joe, I just, I just don't want to get your hopes up real high.
Chandler: Joe, I don't think this is going to be your big break.
Joey: Fine! (He slams on the brakes, stopping the car on the bridge to the sound of numerous car horns.) Get out!
Chandler: You're not actually supposed to stop on the bridge.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there. Ross is trying to figure out why Phoebe's mad at him.]
Rachel: Oh, did you beat him at a board game? He turns into such a baby when he starts to lose.
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to apply her eye drops while Monica looks on.]
Monica: On three, 1 2 3! (Rachel turns her head on three to avoid the drops.) Now my pillow's all wet! (She was trying to fool Rachel and squeezed the eyedropper.)
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Monica: What did you do to his sweater vests?
Monica: Yeah, she's here. Hold on a second. (She hands the phone to Phoebe.)
Chandler: (who has just entered) Is that Joey? Is that Joey? Let me talk to him! I wanna talk to him!
Chandler: Y'know, he won't even talk to me. How am I going to apologize to him if he won't even talk to me?
Monica: Well, maybe you should send him something. So that when he gets to Las Vegas he'll know that you're sorry.
Ross: (entering) Okay Pheebs, I know how we're going to figure this out. Okay, clear your mind and answer the first thing that comes into your head. Okay?
[Scene: The desert outside of Las Vegas, Joey is arriving and we hear the song, Name. Y'know, (singing) I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain. In the desert, you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La la la-la-la, la, la, la, la-la-la. You get the idea. Anyhoo, he pulls up and stops. As he gets out of the car, he spills a huge pill of fast food containers out of the foot well.]
Joey: Hey-hey! Stanley! Hey-hey! You're leading man is here! Let's get to work.
Stanley: It-it's probably just temporary. We're hoping to get some more money soon, so if could just uh, hang out.
(I think one of the grips walk up to Joey, mainly because there's a credit for The Grip. What the heck is a grip anyway?!)
(The rest of the crew start to drive away leaving Joey sad, alone, and holding his congratulatory balloons as the song comes up again. La-la-la. See, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain! In the desert you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La-la-la, la, la, la )
Joey: Uh, well yeah-yeah, I've got all of that going on. Yeah, listen uh, I want you to make sure you tell Chandler that he couldn't have been more wrong! Uh-oh! I gotta go Monica, my uh, my sushi's here!
[Cut to Joey hanging up the phone in Vegas. He's wearing a Roman gladiator's uniform and goes over to join a family to pose for a picture. You see, he's apparently taken a job at Caesar's Palace.]
Joey: (to the family) Sorry about that. Thanks for waitin'.
(As she moves to get it, Monica yells )
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Monica: Okay! Okay! Okay! (She succeeds in getting the eye drops in and everyone climbs off of Rachel.) We'll see you in about 3 to 4 hours.
Rachel: Oh! (She's trying to recover while still on the floor.)
Joey: Hey man, look sorry about that Archie thing. Do uh, do you need me to give you some money?
Sarah: (to Joey) Are you a paleontologist?
Ross: Yes, yes it is. Its uh (Aunt Millie uses this opportunity to grab Ross and kiss him on the lips. After she leaves Ross quickly wipes his mouth with a napkin.) Every time on the lips! Why?! Why on lips?!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the guys are now trying to figure out what next to do, since their plan with the stripper backfired on them.]
RACHEL: Yeah, Joey honey, I don't know if this'll mean anything to you but you'll always be pre-approved with us.
David: Well, I was probably going to do it at some point.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are inspecting the damage to the dollhouse.]
Chandler: Okay, Im going to go stand over there. (Points and moves into the living room.)
Ross: (to Charlie) Ready to go?
Charlie: Oh my God! Did you talk to him?
Monica: It's nice to meet you. Janine...?
Chandler: Yes, but theres two in martini, soo everybody back to my office.
Monica: No, I know. But yknow what? It would make me feel better if Lewis apologized to me.
Chandler: (to the receptionist)'Scuse me.
Phoebe: (on phone, in 'Katelynn's' voice) 'Hi, I have Phoebe Buffay returning a page. Okay, well, um, she's in her car I'll have to patch you through.'
[Cut to the guys]
MONICA: If you really want to watch that Serengetti thing, you can.
David: Yeah, Rachel, Chandler, and Ross had to try to get a couch up a staira very narrow New York stairwell and that was probably I-I think it was the hardest Ive-Ive laughed in my life period.
Rachel: Oh yeah, it's fine, it's fine. Sandy was just... was just telling me about how he proposed to his fiancée and it was just sooo beautiful.
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
Chandler: (slaps him on the shoulder) Nice! (goes to Monica)
Chandler: Okay, listen, how far am I gonna have to go with her?
Chandler: David is going to propose to Phoebe tonight!
Joey: (to Charlie after covering himself up again) Nice to meet ya! (Charlie waves hesitantly and Joey leaves)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler use their knees as a table to support the lasagna.]
Chandler: Oh yeah, that sounds great. (starts to leave) Oh, and listen, its, its gonna be....
Joey: (To Ross) Ill tell you about it later. Be cool.
Conan: You could actually see him trying not to fall down.
Ross: Okay, last night after you guys broke up... so sorry to hear about that, by the way... Well, Charlie and I were talking, and..., well...
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Krista: Nice to meet you. I wish you'd told me we were having company, I'd fix myself up!
Monica: Alright heres something, it says to try holding the baby close to your body and then swing her rapidly from side to side.
Joey: Hard to tell, they're so tiny and upside-down. Wait, wait. They're walking away... they're walking away... No, no they're not, they're coming right at us! Run! Run!
Rachel: And also, you know I uh, I was thinking about what you said, you know, about the whole sex thing and... it's probably not a great idea to go down that road again.
Chandler: Yeah, so, what's that supposed to mean?!
Monica: Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell.
Joey: Its London, baby! All right, the hotels here. (Points to the map.) Wait. No, we wanna go No. I know. (Sets the map down.) Im gonna have to go into the map. (So Joey literally steps into the map.)
Joey: Hey Mon, you might wanna make some more lasagna too, because something mightve happened to a huge chunk of it.
Phoebe: Yuh-huh! I was the last one to know when Chandler got bitten by the peacock at the zoo. I was the last one to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in. (Monica gestures at Phoebe to shut up; Joey looks surprised but pleased) Looks like I was second to last.
Chandler: Well, thats the part where you tell him that I moved to France. When actually Ill be in Cuba.
[Scene: A Theater, the gang is in the audience wating for a play of Joey's to start.]
Phoebe: (to Monica) Then why are you answering? Do you at least know what route were on?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is showing off more of her drum skills to Joey by rubbing one of the sticks back and forth across the drum.]
Phoebe: I dont know. I dont know. I cant lie to him again. Oh no Ino! Im just gonna press my breasts up against him.
Rachel: Okay, y'know what uh, actually, that's great. That helps a lot. Thanks. (She leaves them to wrestle.)
Joey: All right, let's think about this. I mean, there's got to be an explanation. Uh... did you do anything to make her mad?
SUSIE: It's nice to see you're not still wearing that denim cap with all the little mirrors on it.
Joey: Oh, y'know the same thing happened to me one time.
Mike: I have a question I need to ask you.
Phoebe: Fine! You go learn from your qualified instructor! But don't come crying to me when everyone's sick and tired of hearing you play Bad, Bad Leroy Brown!!
Rachel: Ross, please, trust me. I buy 30 fashion magazines a month. Now, I don't know who's running for president or who that... NATO guy is, but I do know that you have to get as far away as you can from that hat.
Joey: I met her at the library. I went in to pee.
Chandler: (to the one sitting next to him) Really?
Joey: Dude, I screwed up, you dont have to turn me in!
Rachel: (gasps) Oh my God! Listen to you talkin about having kids. Oh my Joey. (She goes over and hugs him.) Oh, please dont get married before I do.
Ross: Wow. Umm Huh I'm-I'm not sure what to do with that right now.
Monica: I highly doubt that. (they both go to the bathroom)
(They shake hands. Cut to Ross emerging from a hallway, grinning inanely. He is obviously very stoned)
Bitsy: Michael, a pimp spit in her mouth! (Phoebe almost enters the room, but she hears the discussion and waits and evesdrops next to the door-opening.)
Monica:: yea well the weird part is... he was getting off to a shark attack show!
Phoebe: (points to herself) Phoebe. (points to her) Phoebe. Phoebe, yeah. She named me after you I guess.
Rachel: Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. (to Phoebe) Is this actually a lunchbox?
Joey: Uh, okay Ill-Ill-Ill break it down. (He hands the phone to Phoebe, gets up, picks up a chair, and starts banging it on the floor.)
Charlie: Actually, it turned out to be a lot of fun!
Rachel: Oh well, you dont want to do that now?!
Monica: Sure! Got to!
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Did you know this about him?
Mike: You're ready to play?
Chandler: Okay, I've been doing a lot of thinking about us, y'know a lot of uhh, us thinking. And uh, well I guess there's only one-one way to do this. (He slowly and awkwardly gets down on one knee.)
Rachel: (pretending to be offended) What, hey!
Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.
Chandler: (sitting down on the arm of her chair) You didnt think I used to wear glasses, right?
Rachel: Oh, I love to ski! How amazing is this?!
MONICA: Tonight you're supposed to waitress for me, my catering thing, any of those words trigger anything for you?
[He tries to blow it out, and obviously, it doesnt work. He runs over to the sink to get a glass of water to put out the fire, but since Monica is in the shower the water pressure is very low and takes a long time to fill the glass. In desperation he takes the half full glass over and dumps it on the fire, it doesnt work. He then picks up the dollhouse and considers bringing it over to the sink, but decides to take it into the bathroom and use the shower to put it out. He kicks open the door and we hear Monica scream at the top of her lungs.]
Rachel: (draws back) Really. Mindy, if it'll make you feel any better, when I was engaged to him he went through a whole weird thing too.
The Cooking Teacher: (To Monica) Oh! Something smells good over at Monicas station! (She tries Monicas fettuccini.) Oh my God! This is absolutely amazing! Youve never made this before?
Ross: I have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy.
Joey: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.
Monica: Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once.
Mr. Geller: Oh yeah, well who serves steak when theres no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this?
Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's... it's... y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into showbusiness.
Susan: Hey, its so nice to finally meet you!
Chandler: Here goes. (He walks over to her but just stands there.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Charlie: Ross, can I talk to you for a minute?
Chandler: Varrrrrroom! Hey! Watch it lady! Varrrrrrrrrrom! (makes a screeching sound as he pretends to stomp on the brakes.) Hey-hey good lookin! (honks the beds little horn on the steering wheel.) Varrrrrrrrroom. (notices Rachel and stops) All right, Ill leave. My beds so boring.
Joey: They have a kid together, y'know. Theyre like, theyre like a family, and if, I dont know, theres chance they could make that work, I know I wouldnt want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?
Emily: I miss you to. Well, at least I think I do.
Monica: No, I have just to have two more points to beat him!
Joey: (standing up) I will sit with you Dr. Geller. (He goes over to his table and they shake hands.)
Monica: (to Chandler) Honey, you don't have to do this.
Rachel: Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome.
(They walk over to the playpen.)
Kim: (to Nancy) So we talked about the (Chandler sneaks closer to her cigarette) whole presentation yesterday at lunch (Closer) and he wondered if one person would be enough (Closer) to get a take on the trip (Still closer) and I said, "Yeah, absolutely!" (She's interrupted by Chandler who has reached his goal and takes a drag from her cancer stick.)
JOEY: You and Milton have to join us on the boat. Karen'll pack a lunch, you'll bring the kids, we'll make a day of it.
Phoebe: Oh. Okay, well I-I was kinda hoping that I would just be alone yknow to think about my mom and her suicide.
Ross: Its a little early to be drinkin.
Sid: (To Janice) Whatd he say?
Rachel: (taking the phone and hanging it up) Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.