words in movies
Rachel: (speaking to herself and reading Cosmopolitan) Oh, lucky me! Coffee and a live sex show!
Rachel: Oh... Oh, I'm sorry! I'm not... I was just-I was just reading to Emma.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah... It's... "climax your way to better skin".
Charlie: (to Joey) So, I have to go shopping today, which is my least favourite thing, I'm soo bad at picking out clothes!
Joey: So you need someone who knows fashion, to tell you what looks good.
Charlie: I'm sure you have better things to do.
Joey: Are you kidding? Rachel loves to shop! And she has great taste! Yeah, she's the one who taught me, you don't wear white after labour day and that you always, always, always have to put on underwear when you're trying on clothes.
Joey: (to Charlie) Ok, you're gonna come back with some very classy clothes... (aside to Rachel)... and some slutty lingerie, SLUTTY!
Phoebe: Oh... Mike's sister just invited me to a party tonight, he's gonna be there. And she was like "Oh, don't worry! I asked him. He's totally ok with seeing you!". So now I have to go so he'll think that I'm totally ok with seeing him!
Rachel: And you're gonna want him to eat his heart out so you're gonna have to look fabulous!
Monica: Oh, I so can't believe this! My uterus is an inhospitable environment? I was trying so hard to be a good hostess!
Chandler: Oh, I can't believe my sperm have low motility because, let me tell you, when I was growing up they sure seem to be in a hurry to get places!!
Doctor Connelly: I'm sorry there wasn't better news from your test last week but I wanted to talk to you about your options.
Chandler: Is that a hint? Because we love you Doctor Connelly but we don't think we'd want you to be our child! (Dr. Connelly glares at him) Wow, talking about an inhospitable environment!
Rachel: Hi! Ok, you're ready to go pick up Phoebe and go shopping?
Joey: (to Charlie) Alright, have a good time. (they kiss)
Joey: Just... seeing what it'd be like to be a paleontologist... it's fun, yeah!
Charlie: He's a pretty tough guy to impress.
Ross: Yeah, well... I think I know how to dazzle him.
Ross: Tsz... NO! (he goes to sit down, dropping a multicoloured silk streamer off his sleeve).
Ross: Wait a minute, you guys. Oh, I wanna ask you something. I-I I may get to speak at this paleontology convention and if I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me.
Joey: So, I don't have to learn what that means?
Chandler: I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child but I don't think there is one.
(Joey moves close to Ross and whispers something in his ear)
Ross: (looking astonished) What? NO! I am not going to give them Ben!
[Scene: Professor Sherman's office, Ross is relating to Professor Sherman]
(Turns to look at Professor Sherman, only to discover that he is sleeping)
Shop assistant: (to a girl) Incentive For Men?
Phoebe: No, I know, this way when I go to the party later Mike will know I am over him cause I'm gonna smell like another guy. (to the shop assistant) Yeah.
Phoebe: Ok. Oh good, I'm dating a Russian cab driver. (to the shop assistant). Seriously does anyone buy this? I smell like beets!
Charlie: (to Rachel) So, you know what, I really like those jackets with the shoulder pads on them. Where do you think those would be?
Charlie: See, I told you I needed someone! Oh, you know, by the way, as a "thank you", I would really love to take you out.
Charlie: Yeah! Actually Joey and I are going to the movies tonight, wanna come?
Phoebe: (picks up a dress) Hey Rach, will you come with me to a dressing room?
(Phoebe and Rachel go off to the dressing rooms. They enter one and close the curtain.)
(Rachel opens the curtains and sees Charlie coming out from the dressing room just next to theirs)
Monica: Oh, of course, it's so nice to see you again, Zack!
Chandler: You guys haven't actually met before, but, boy! You're both polite! (pause) Go to have a seat Zack, and I'll get you a beer.
Chandler: (to Mon) So, Zack's pretty nice, uh?
Chandler: So, how would you like to have a baby that's half yours and half his!
Monica: Chandler, this is crazy! What did you even say to him! "Come up, meet my wife! Give us your sperm"!
Chandler: No, I invited him to dinner so you could get a chance to get to know him! I mean, if we go through a sperm bank you never meet the guy, get to check him out.
Chandler: I'm telling you, he's great! I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I'd think he'd be the way to go!
Monica: I'm not going to be a part of this! You can't just bring some random guy at home and expect him to be our sperm donor!
Chandler: (bringing the beer to Zack) Zack!
Phoebe: (goes back in) I'm Rachel. It's so annoying when I put Emma on the phone to talk with my friends.
Phoebe: (comes out too) Well, some things are just hard to say to your face.
(A strange woman sticks her head out from a third changing cubicle to the far right)
Ross: Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?
Joey: What!? But I already bought my ticket to Bermuda!
Joey: Fine, I'll rent a car and drive...! Ross, you have to get that job!
Ross: What am I supposed to do? He's out cold! In fact he was just talking in his sleep before and evidently he wants someone named Fran to spank him harder.
Ross: I can't! If he realizes that I'm the one that put him to sleep, I won't get the job!
Joey: Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... (pause) no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!?
Chandler: You know what's not funny? Male Pattern Baldness (Monica stretches her neck to look behind Zack's head and then gives Chandler an "ok" sign)
Rachel: Ok. (Phoebe starts to walk in the opposite direction though. Rachel sees and follows her) Wha...? where? Where are you going?
Phoebe: Oh! I'm sorry Rachel, I don't have time for your childish games, ok? I still have to go find something incredible to wear so I can beat Mike at "who's more over who"! (at which she walks away)
Rachel: (to Charlie) Hey, hi! Hey, where've you been?
Rachel: (pretends to be stunned) Oh! Wi... in the dres... in the dressing room!? Well, that's so weird! Phoebe and I were just trying on clothes in the dressing room. God it's just such a small world!
Charlie: No! There's nothing to explain. I heard you. Phoebe likes Joey.
Charlie: It's just that... I don't understand it... I mean, Phoebe likes Joey and then she comes here to buy a dress to impress another guy...?
Charlie: You know, by the way. I heard you tell her not to do anything. Thanks for sticking up for me. You are such a nice person.
(Ross takes his suitcase and tries to get out but ends up falling on Prof. Sherman's laps, thereby waking him up)
Ross: (To the still half asleep Professor) Oh my God! You really want me to be the keynote speaker? Thank you! (hugs him whilst still on his lap)
Phoebe: Are you sure? Because I'm really dreading going to this party.
Phoebe: Mike knows I'm coming, and if I don't show up he'll think it's because of him! And I don't want to lose face! That's a very serious thing in my culture.
Joey: Alright, then you go to that party and you pretend to be over Mike. And afterward you come to my place and I'll get you good and drunk!
Phoebe: You got it! Ok. But not on the wine that you made, ok, because I just don't want to go back to the Emergency Room.
David: Well, remember how I was trying to achieve the positronic distillation of subatomic particles?
David: Yeah, I don't know why, I'm sorry, I guess I just didn't want to lose face.
David: Yeah, I know. Well... this is probably a stupid question, seeing that you look like that, but do you have some place that you need to be right now?
Phoebe: I'd love to.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's]
Zack: No it's just tiring having to figure out the age at which all my grandparents died. I'll see you tomorrow.
Monica: No, he's not. And if I can't get pregnant with you, then I don't want to get pregnant by... him or anyone else.
Chandler: (sighs with relief) Thank God, because I don't wanna do this either. You know, I was just doing because I thought that was what you wanted to do. You know, I'm the husband, I'm supposed to... bring the sperm.
Chandler: Wait, if we're lucky, and we're really really really quiet, we may be able to hear the sound of a condom breaking!
Chandler: Look, I just wanted to apologize for last night. I got the feeling we made you a little uncomfortable.
Jeanette: (to Zack) Here are the boards for Friday's pitch (hands him something).
Rachel: Hey, yknow, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with! I hate being alone this time of year! Next thing you know itll be Valentines Day, then my birthday, then bang!before you know it, theyre lighting that damn tree again. Ohh, I want somebody! (hearing this, Gunther moves in) Yknow, I want a man!! (Gunther leaves depressed) I mean, it doesnt even have to be a big relationship, yknow, just like a fling would be great.
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
(Rachel and Joey are still looking at Chandler, slowly letting his words get to them)
Chandler: Okay, Pheebs, we decided the picnic idea was a little Y'know, it didn't have any It-it, well it blew. So, we thought, that this afternoon that we would all go away for the whole weekend to, Atlantic City!
Chandler: Thanks for trying. (grabs the ticket and starts to leave) Oh, and by the way there is no Count Rushmore!
Phoebe: Well y'know every time that they say that like they're doing laundry we'll just give them a bunch of laundry to do.
Monica: All right look, if I take Chandler out of the running will you be able to focus?
Monica: (to the waitress) When you get a sec, another round of daiquiris.
Chandler: I just want you to know that what you witnessed in there, that wasnt for fun.
Joey: I'm telling ya... (his eyes open wide and he looks like his eyes are about to pop out. He stares at Ross like this without blinking) I can do it.
Dr. Leedbetter: We want you to speak to a psychiatrist.
Rachel: (to Monica) I mean is that woman capable of talking about anything else but sex?
Ross: Yeah, y'know for dating, general merriment, taking back to your windmill...
Mrs. Geller: Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or.... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-
Richard: Hes gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. (they both laugh) This is nice.
Rachel: (stopping him) Wh-whoa! All right, okay-okay, I see, I see what's going on here! Now listen, look-look, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I am not some hussy who will just sleep around to get ahead! Now even though I (He tries to interrupt and tell her about the ink), hey-hey-hey, even though I kissed you, that does not give you the right to demand sex from me. I do not want, this job that bad. Good day, sir. (She storms out of his office.)
Benjamin: Anyway, I've decided to offer you the grant.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
Russell: And well need you and Rachel to testify before a judge.
Ross: Alright, you madcap gal. Try to imagine this. The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away.
SUSIE: I'll be there, and who knows, if things go well, maybe this time I'll get to see your underwear.
Joey: Look, I don't hate Janice, she's-she's just a lot to take, you know.
Ross: I know I am! (Ross now starts to cry) ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?
Joey: (looks at the ground and at Ross) I dont know Ross! I-I tell you what, lets flip to see who does it, okay? You-you call it in the air, all right?
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Monica: Yeah, he used to have this recurring nightmare, just really freaked him out.
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
Joey: To tape the game? You do this every time Ross, youre not gonna be on TV!
Ross: It would be so cool to live across from you guys!
Rachel: (to Chandler) Can I talk to you alone for a minute?
Chandler: Well, I try to y'know, squeeze things. (Phoebe giggles uncontrollably.) Are you okay?
(The door opens allowing the horde to charge in, knocking Rachel out of the way and to the ground.)
Chandler: No, you dont have to, and you cant because I live here too.
(As they walk out he motions to Chandler that he is still Ben's godfather.)
Monica: (to Chandler) Anything but stew.
Tony: We dont have 50 bucks, but would you be willing to trade for it? Weve got a canoe.
Emily: Im just going to say hi to the lads. All right?
Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there to watch Joey's first scene as Dr. Drake Remoray.]
Phoebe: Yeah, she clamed she had to go out of town suddenly. Shes avoiding me, she doesnt want to tell me where my Father is. She knows, and she wont tell me.
Janice: Okay, Im going to need a comforter, but did you have a hypoallergenic one because otherwise I get very nasal. (Makes some weird sound) Do you have a cat? Cause its already happening. (Makes a nasal sound) Do you hear that? (She keeps making the nasal sound.)
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are about to go inside.]
Chandler: Thats okay Pheebs, were not having a party or anything, so you dont have to get us
(Chandler slides the bowl to the far end of the counter. He tries again, but he hits the spoon to hard and the ball goes flying away.)
Joey: Just being friendly. (He gives Monica a whats wrong with you? look and proceeds to walk behind the counter.)
Chandler: Yes-yes, I was just trying to figure out a way to uh, demonstrate how I could get my exceptionally large feet into my even bigger mouth.
Chandler: Thank God you didn't try to fan out the magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your eyes right out.
Chandler: (To Ross) I can't believe this! What the hell were you thinking?
Phoebe: Well maybe he was just nervous, yknow you can be very intimidating. And besides Ive met your pastry chef and she can stand to be taken down a peg or two.
Phoebe: Okay. I'd- just- I'd never be able to enjoy it. It would be like this giant karmic debt.
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
Monica: If you have the big apartment you have to deal with people coming over all the time. That fridge has got to be stocked, okay, thats your department now. (She takes back the turkey leg)
Dr. Green: Excuse me for a moment, will you please, I want to say good night to the Levines, before we go.
Joey: (He turns around to Chandler looking for approval to go with Rachel, Chandler mouths Come on!) (turning back to Rachel) Ross, did ask us first, and we set that night aside.
Chandler: Listen ah, Joe, I-I need to, I need to talk to you about something.
Ross: You see this, this is a person who is ready to go. Phoebe you, oh, you are my star.
Monica: Look, all were trying to say is, dont let what happened with Carol ruin what you got with Emily.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah, you go talk to your friend. You tell him, "Nice try."
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, if my friend says its time to go, its time to go. (Starts to leave, but comes back for his cookies.)
MNCA: No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. [to waiter] Just some water.
Joey: Okay. (to Phoebe and Chandler) Did ah, you guys mean you plus one?
The Interviewer: Thank you. The readers at Soap Opera Digest will be happy to hear that.
(Chandler tries to jump over the couch but everyone stops him.)
Phoebe: Ok, you guys, I don’t mean to make things worse, but umm, I don’t want to live with Rachel anymore.
(Ross panics and falls off, dropping to the ground with a huge crash.)
Monica: Me too! Yeah, Chandler cant stand it. He wont even allow me to have blue cheese in the house.
Joey: Okay. (he gets up and takes the cushions with him, as he starts to leave)
Monica: I would do it but she thinks Im attracted to her!
Joey: Hey, (realises he doesnt know her name.) stripper! (He notices that the ring box is open, so he picks it up, sees its empty and starts to panic.)
Ross: Ok. Well, before I say anything, I just need to know, is this one of those things where you break up with a guy, and then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you get back together with the guy, and I look like a complete idiot?
Rachel: I can get a quick bite to eat, but then I have to come back up here.
Joey: Yeah, tell that to my Uncle Lenny.
ROSS: Well, I guess I'm gonna call the beer company and try to find out where he is.
Monica: Yeah, and we've paid for a room, that we're supposed to be in right now!
Ross: Take from me, as the groom all you have to do is show up and try to say the right name.
Rachel: Ok, Monica. I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdale's? (Monica looks away.) Oh! Ok, ok, ok, I just really, uh, I just really need to not be with you right now. (Exits.)
Joey: Oh, cause you can just match the evaluation to the exam with the same handwriting and boom, theres your admirer. (Ross is stunned.)
Tag: (looking at the street) Oh my god! Those guys are stealing my car! (He points down to the street)
Paul: (acting manly to try and cover up his crying) Okay. Chandler, did your dad ever hug you?
Janice: I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler. (laughs)
Joey: Oh great. (Starts to go in.) (To Chandler) Hey! Go take off those pants, they look ready!
Chandler: Should I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil?
Phoebe: You didn't bring one! My cab's downstairs, I'll drive you to the airport.
Ross: (on phone) I know I miss you too. I can't wait to see you. I love you. Bye. (Hangs up.)
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Matthew: It is when were able to crack each other up.
Mike: To see who goes first, you got a quarter?
Chandler: Oh yes, sir! Put me out of my misery. Are you sure you never played pro? (Does his work laugh.) (To Monica) Please let them win!
[Scene: Rachels birthday, everyone is presenting their presents to Rachel.]
Chandler: Ha-ha-ha. A little to hard. What am I not ah, boyfriend material?
[Cut to later, all except Chandler are staring out the window at Ugly Naked Guy.]
Ross: What? (Motions for Phoebe to go outside with him.) Oh my God! She-she thinks were engaged! Why? Why? Why would she think were engaged?!
[Scene: The Hallway, Rachel is about to enter her apartment with Dina to tell Joey the news.]
Ross: (trying to ignore her) No. No.
Rachel: No, come on, I'm totally ok. (hugging him) I don't need you to come! I can totally handle this on my own.
Chandler: Another cheesecake came! They delivered it to the wrong address again!
Joey: You do have a choice!! Ross, why are you listening to her?! Are you, are you crazy?!
Chandler: Oh well, this was a really important experience for me, and I wanted to share it with you.
Chandler: We just finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner. I have--and I remember this part vividly--a mouthful of pumpkin pie, and this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they're getting divorced.