words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is showing pictures of his new baby boy, Ben, to the group.]
Rachel: Oh, let me see! (grabs picture) Oh, God, is he just the sweetest thing? You must just want to kiss him all over!
Chandler: Nothing, just a little extra air in my mouth. Pffft. Pffffffft. (walks over to where Joey is seated)
Chandler: (sigh)... And where's this money coming from? (gives money to Joey)
Joey: Alright, come on you guys, it's not that big a deal. Really... I mean, I just go down there every other day and... make my contribution to the project. Hey, hey, but at the end of two weeks, I get seven hundred dollars.
Phoebe: We've got the ground-up flesh of formerly cute cows and turkeys, ew... (hands meat to Monica)
Joey: Well, the tough thing is, she really wants to have sex with me.
Joey: Yeah, well, I still got a week left to go in the program, and according to the rules, if I want to get the money I'm not allowed to conduct any... ersonal experiments, if you know what I mean.
Ross: I'm going to China.
Monica: You're going to China?
Ross: Yeah, i-it's for the museum. Someone found a bone, we want the bone, but they don't want us to have the bone, so I'm going over there to try to persuade them to give us the boit'sit's a whole big bone thing. Anyway, I'm gonna be gone for like, uh... like a week, so, uh, if you wanna reach me, y-you can't. So here's my itinerary (hands a sheet of paper to Monica). Um... here's a picture of me... (hands it to Monica)
Ross: (to Monica): Could you take it to Carol's every now and then, and show it to Ben, just so he doesn't forget me?
(Phoebe puts the picture of Ross up to her face.)
Ross: Hey, is Rachel here? Um, I wanted to wish her a happy birthday before I left.
Ross: OK, I'm gonna go say goodbye to the guys.
Ross: (sigh)....I have to go to China.
Joey: He's right, man. Please. Move on. Go to China. Eat Chinese food.
Joey: We want you to be happy. And I may only have a couple beers in me, but... I love you, man. (Joey gives Ross a hug)
(Everyone follows Rachel to the living room. Monica pulls Joey aside.)
(They both walk over to where Rachel is opening her gifts. Rachel sees her first gift is a fruit basket.)
Rachel: (picks it up) OK... ah, it's light... (shakes it)...it rattles... it's... (opens it) Travel Scrabble! Oooohhh, thank you! (she gives it back to him)
Joey: (to Rachel): That book got me through some tough times.
Rachel: No! None! I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened, so I just... (to Joey): W-well, what else did he say? I mean, does he, like, want to go out with me?
Rachel: Ross? All this time? Well, I've got to talk to him. (gets up to leave)
Monica: From here to the airport?
Monica: Rachel, what're you gonna say to him?
(Phoebe gets up, holds the picture of Ross up to her face.)
Rachel: Noooo... look, all I know is that I cannot wait a week until I see him. I mean, this is just too big. Y'know, I just, I've just gotta talk to him. I... I gotta... OK, I'll see you later. (opens door)
[Scene: Airport, Ross has headphones on, and is listening to a 'How To Speak Chinese' tape. Occasionally, he makes an outburst in Chinese in accordance with the tape. He is getting on the jetway. The flight attendant is there.]
(Rachel runs into the airport, trying to catch Ross, moving people out of the way.)
(Rachel gets up to the jetway.)
Rachel: Oh, no, no, I don't have one. I just need to talk to my friend.
[Cut to the Jetway, the flight attendant enters, walks past Ross, and approaches an older man with his wife who is also wearing a blue jacket.]
Man: (to wife): Toby... Oh, for God's sake, I don't know what she's talking about! There's no Rachel! Don't give me that deep freeze.
(Joey starts to kiss her.)
Joey: Well, it's like, last night, I couldn't do the thing that usually makes me great. So I had to do all this other stuff. And the response I got... man, oh man, it was like a ticker tape parade!
Chandler: Yes, I know, as it happens my room is very very close to the parade route.
Joey: It was amazing! And not just for her... uh-uh. For me, too. It's like, all of a sudden, I'm blind. But all my other senses are heightened, y'know? It's like... I was able to appreciate it on another level.
(Rachel looks bored. At this point, Rossa figment of Rachel's imagination shows up on the balcony and starts talking to her.)
Rachel: Would you excuse me, please? I'm trying to have a date here.
(She tries, and Ross disappears momentarily. He reappears, standing closer to her.)
Rachel: Well... he happens to be a very nice... guy....
Ross: (pause) No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me?
Rachel: I forgot... I am supposed to pick up a friend at the airport. I am so sorry! I'm so... if you want to stay, and finish your drinks, please do.... (gives him her drink) I meanI'm sorry. I-I-I gotta go. I'm sorry.
[Cut to the jetway, the old man who the flight attendant delivered Rachel's message to gets off the plane, his wife still upset with him.]
Ross: No problem. I cannot wait for you to meet my friends.
[Cut to a close-up of Rachel, eagerly awaiting Ross's arrival... not knowing he is getting off the plane with another woman.]
JOEY: Well, I couldn't do it. I told her I didn't want to get the part that way.
[she turns to leave, Frank follows]
Joey: Sure. (To Monica and Rachel) Coffee? Cause Im going up there.
Katie: Oh, ow! Did Joey tell you to say that? You guys, (Punches Joey) are too much! (Punches Rachel.)
Phoebe: I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother.
[Cut to the delivery room, Phoebe is about to give birth to the middle kid.]
Joey: (to the family) Sorry about that. Thanks for waitin'.
Phoebe: OK, fine, if it means that much to you I'll get rid of Bob.
Monica: Yes, but we have to be fast.
Monica: Well, an-anyway, I justthat night meant a lot to me, I guess Im just trying to say thanks.
Chandler: Okay, look, Im gonna have to ask you all to leave.
Rachel: What?! She just called and said that she was gonna be working late! She keeps lying to me! That's it! Y'know what? I'm just gonna go over there and confront them right now!
Chandler: You were not supposed to hear that! I said that behind you back!
Phoebe: Yeah, say my name. Say it! (She stops when she realizes what shes doing.) And now Im going to cover you back up, and umm were never doing this again.
Joey: Ha-ha. LookCome on, I dont know what to do or say. (He laughs.)
Mona: (interrupting him) Listen Ross, you dont have to apologize. I understand why you were there.
Ross: Ok! So let's move on to the Renaissance?
Monica: It's worse. The only thing that's getting me through is knowing that I'm gonna be seeing you soon. I think I may even try to get out of here early.
Joey: Thanks. (Starts to read it.) Well but this one starts now. (Points to one.)
(they make as if to go, but Ross notices something)
Ross: Yeah. Listen, can you keep this information to yourself?
(She pulls him over to the door.)
Joey: No, it's too wrinkly to be a mole.
Chandler: Okay, I have news. You don't have to move to Tulsa. You can stay here and keep your job.
Monica: Id like to have Don and Phoebe over. Wouldnt that be nice?
Joey: Man, if anyone asked me to give up any of you, I couldn't do it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica and Rachel and Phoebe are planning their respective strategies to break the other pairing. Joey is not amused.
Joey: (entering) Hey! (Goes to the fridge.)
MONICA: [to Ross] Looks like he's playin' baseball.
Ross: Well, it needs to be plicit.
Colleen: The bathroom is down the hall, to your left.
Joey: Look, its not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I dont want to hurt her.
Monica: All right, sorry. (Goes back to Rachels room.)
[cut to later, in Rosss huddle.]
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
Phoebe: Ross, you cant tell her not to go. You just started dating.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
Phoebe: Yeah. I really hate to give her up. Oh, I know!! Oh, you should take her!
Girl: Me too! (starts to take her coat off)
Rachel: Well, I used to date him, but youre still going out with her!
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is trying to relax her.]
Monica: Hey. Ross, did you know Mom and Dad are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving?
[Cut back to Monica and Chandlers room, they are making out again as theres another knock on the door.]
Janice: Ohh, well when you said all you were going to be doing between now and the time you leave is packing, you didnt really leave me much choice. Did you?
(Theres a knock on the door and Rachel opens it to a little girl.)
Ross: Okay lets put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.
Rachel: (tearful) I just can't believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming up- I wanted him to meet my family-
[Chandler puts a coin in the mini jukebox at the table. YMCA starts playing and Monica and the rest of the staff have to get on the counter and start singing along and dancing. After a couple of couruses, Chandler pulls out a handful of coins and drops them on the table.]
Joey: Oh, I chose not to hear that.
{Transcribers Note: This is an hour-long special episode. Which means that the first part of this episode is episode 615. The second part of this episode is episode 616. Since episodes 615 and 616 are combined into one file, thats why there is no episode 616 in the season 6 table of contents and the numbers jump from episode 615 to 617.}
Rachel: Thank God. Food. (She goes to answer the door.)
Ross: I think you need to tell her how you feel.
Monica: I wont care, because I know you will be feeling it all in here. (Points to her heart.)
Joey: I, I dont get you. I mean first, you hate me. Then you sleep with me. Then you want nothing to do with me, now you want me again.
Rachel: This is Bonnie? (to Phoebe) This is Bonnie? (to Bonnie) Youre Bonnie?
JOEY: Hold it hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. It made me nuts.
Ross: All right, lets not jump to any conclusions. All right? There was some sexual chemistry between them.
Rachel: Thank you. (Dr. Long exits.) Well, I guess we have some time to kill.
Ross: How are you ever going to sell this place?
Chandler: That means nothing to me. (To Ross) Come on!
Monica: Well, I did one time, and-and I want to start doing it more. See thats what this is about.
Ross: Now I cannot wait to see this.
Monica: (comes running out the kitchen to the bedroom) Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it!
Ross: (to Paul) Just-just so you know I was a freshman and she was a senior. So it wasnt as bad as-as
(Joey gestures to show that he wouldn't dare...)
[Scene: A curbside newsstand, Phoebe is whistling and walking up to it wearing her fur coat. She stops and starts to look through a magazine and notices a squirrel on a nearby tree chirping at her.]
Joey: Yeah-yeah I like that but just to go in another direction
Phoebe: Its me. Its Phoebe. Listen theres something in here I want to eat, what-what smells so good?
Phoebe: (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) Thats why I moved out.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is looking at an uncertain future.]
Monica: I dont know. (Picks up a big plate from the coffee table.) Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Rachel: Thank you! And now if youll excuse me, I have to go to the rest room.
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
(The band starts to play, and the recessional starts. Ross tries to take Emilys hand, but she snatches it away from him.)
Ross: (to the woman checking her mail) Who isn't?
Rachel: No, forget it! No way! I am not sending anymore Ralph Lauren clothes to prison. It is a waste.
Rachel: Phoebe, come on! What is the big deal? I thought this was going to be something we could do together! Y'know, I thought it would be fun!
(Rachel goes to hug him but Ross is holding one of her hands and doesnt let go, so she can only put one arm around him.)
Chandler: Yeah, I think that's wrong, but there's a Connect the Dots in here for you later. (To Monica) Hey, how about maroon?
Ross: Do you have a minute? Id like to talk to you about something Im, Im really uncomfortable talking about.
Rachel: I know Mona, just hear me out. First of all, Im so sorry about my father yelling at you, but I heard you totally held your own. Youre gonna have to tell me how you did that.
Monica: I mean, youre the one theyre gonna come to when they wanna run away from home, and the one they talk to about sex.
Ross: Oh, taking my parents back to the hotel.
Phoebe: Fine! Then you tell Roger because he was really looking forward to this! (Phoebe exits.)
Monica: No-no, its not okay! Its not! I mean you were just Youre so incredible! You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me! Yknow Im just gonnaI, I am gonna make this up to you! I will! I-I am going to cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and I am going to do anything you want in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Mackenzie: Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it?
Chandler: (In a loving voice) Yes, I do. Now, I may not understand why you have to win so badly, but if it's important to you then it's important to me, because I love you.
Phoebe: Do you wanna get to Rachel in time?
Monica: Ohh, sweetie! (Goes to comfort her.) Hey, I bet you anything that hes gonna call you again.
Gary: Y'know I really want to move this relationship forward.
Rachel: No, Im just kidding I would never do that to you! Okay, everybody, its trifle time!
Monica: (looking very serious) I need to talk to you.
Joey: your right! I love my life! (He gets up to go and speak to the girl and he turns back and sits down) I actually did sleep with her.
Phoebe: Great, okay, what are you gonna change it to?
Ross: What a weird way to kick me when Im down.
Monica: Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. (Goes to the counter) It was right here, where is it?
Monica: Okay, just back off mister! Whoa. (Pause) Cause I am ready to have a baby. I just want Joey to be the father.
Rachel: Well, Chandler, youre gonna have to tell him.
Rachel: Well, then I get to give him the cell phone.