words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is showing pictures of his new baby boy, Ben, to the group.]
Rachel: Oh, let me see! (grabs picture) Oh, God, is he just the sweetest thing? You must just want to kiss him all over!
Chandler: Nothing, just a little extra air in my mouth. Pffft. Pffffffft. (walks over to where Joey is seated)
Chandler: (sigh)... And where's this money coming from? (gives money to Joey)
Joey: Alright, come on you guys, it's not that big a deal. Really... I mean, I just go down there every other day and... make my contribution to the project. Hey, hey, but at the end of two weeks, I get seven hundred dollars.
Phoebe: We've got the ground-up flesh of formerly cute cows and turkeys, ew... (hands meat to Monica)
Joey: Well, the tough thing is, she really wants to have sex with me.
Joey: Yeah, well, I still got a week left to go in the program, and according to the rules, if I want to get the money I'm not allowed to conduct any... ersonal experiments, if you know what I mean.
Ross: I'm going to China.
Monica: You're going to China?
Ross: Yeah, i-it's for the museum. Someone found a bone, we want the bone, but they don't want us to have the bone, so I'm going over there to try to persuade them to give us the boit'sit's a whole big bone thing. Anyway, I'm gonna be gone for like, uh... like a week, so, uh, if you wanna reach me, y-you can't. So here's my itinerary (hands a sheet of paper to Monica). Um... here's a picture of me... (hands it to Monica)
Ross: (to Monica): Could you take it to Carol's every now and then, and show it to Ben, just so he doesn't forget me?
(Phoebe puts the picture of Ross up to her face.)
Ross: Hey, is Rachel here? Um, I wanted to wish her a happy birthday before I left.
Ross: OK, I'm gonna go say goodbye to the guys.
Ross: (sigh)....I have to go to China.
Joey: He's right, man. Please. Move on. Go to China. Eat Chinese food.
Joey: We want you to be happy. And I may only have a couple beers in me, but... I love you, man. (Joey gives Ross a hug)
(Everyone follows Rachel to the living room. Monica pulls Joey aside.)
(They both walk over to where Rachel is opening her gifts. Rachel sees her first gift is a fruit basket.)
Rachel: (picks it up) OK... ah, it's light... (shakes it)...it rattles... it's... (opens it) Travel Scrabble! Oooohhh, thank you! (she gives it back to him)
Joey: (to Rachel): That book got me through some tough times.
Rachel: No! None! I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened, so I just... (to Joey): W-well, what else did he say? I mean, does he, like, want to go out with me?
Rachel: Ross? All this time? Well, I've got to talk to him. (gets up to leave)
Monica: From here to the airport?
Monica: Rachel, what're you gonna say to him?
(Phoebe gets up, holds the picture of Ross up to her face.)
Rachel: Noooo... look, all I know is that I cannot wait a week until I see him. I mean, this is just too big. Y'know, I just, I've just gotta talk to him. I... I gotta... OK, I'll see you later. (opens door)
[Scene: Airport, Ross has headphones on, and is listening to a 'How To Speak Chinese' tape. Occasionally, he makes an outburst in Chinese in accordance with the tape. He is getting on the jetway. The flight attendant is there.]
(Rachel runs into the airport, trying to catch Ross, moving people out of the way.)
(Rachel gets up to the jetway.)
Rachel: Oh, no, no, I don't have one. I just need to talk to my friend.
[Cut to the Jetway, the flight attendant enters, walks past Ross, and approaches an older man with his wife who is also wearing a blue jacket.]
Man: (to wife): Toby... Oh, for God's sake, I don't know what she's talking about! There's no Rachel! Don't give me that deep freeze.
(Joey starts to kiss her.)
Joey: Well, it's like, last night, I couldn't do the thing that usually makes me great. So I had to do all this other stuff. And the response I got... man, oh man, it was like a ticker tape parade!
Chandler: Yes, I know, as it happens my room is very very close to the parade route.
Joey: It was amazing! And not just for her... uh-uh. For me, too. It's like, all of a sudden, I'm blind. But all my other senses are heightened, y'know? It's like... I was able to appreciate it on another level.
(Rachel looks bored. At this point, Rossa figment of Rachel's imagination shows up on the balcony and starts talking to her.)
Rachel: Would you excuse me, please? I'm trying to have a date here.
(She tries, and Ross disappears momentarily. He reappears, standing closer to her.)
Rachel: Well... he happens to be a very nice... guy....
Ross: (pause) No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me?
Rachel: I forgot... I am supposed to pick up a friend at the airport. I am so sorry! I'm so... if you want to stay, and finish your drinks, please do.... (gives him her drink) I meanI'm sorry. I-I-I gotta go. I'm sorry.
[Cut to the jetway, the old man who the flight attendant delivered Rachel's message to gets off the plane, his wife still upset with him.]
Ross: No problem. I cannot wait for you to meet my friends.
[Cut to a close-up of Rachel, eagerly awaiting Ross's arrival... not knowing he is getting off the plane with another woman.]
Phoebe: Then why did she ask us to
Joey: Come on Rach, not again. I got it! Okay? Lets start sailing, and I want to go over there (Points) where that boatload of girls is! (Yelling to them) Yo-ho-ho!
Rachel: (to Monica): Really? (out loud): Sure, we have scones left! (to Monica): OK, read them to me.
Chandler: So did Monica tell you about this great band called the Swing Kings that were trying to get to play at the wedding?
Phoebe: Great, all right, okay, and Monica ask me to make the drumming stop.
Joey: No youre not! Not to me!
Joey: Ahh, to be 13 again.
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Monica: Thats right. Thats right. And that is why you cant stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldnt come to the wedding.
JOEY: All right look.� (He walks to the hallway.)� If you can't come home and deal with this, then I'm gonna.
Monica: (continuing) Now, most guys will hit uh, 1-2-3 and then go to 7 and set up camp.
Chandler: Oh thats so sweet! I want to show you something too!
Monica: I gave you one job! (Starts to examin the lasagne through the bottom of the glass pan.)
Charlie: So, you know... I have a little time. If you... if you want to...
Joey: Wow. Hey look, if it helps, I dont want to feel this way. Honest. I just keep thinking, "Ah, Ill get over this." Yknow? I justIt just keeps gettin harder. I dont, I dont know what to do. Yknow? What do I do?
Chandler: Do you want me to call?
(David puts his napkin up to his mouth and starts laughing at his own line. Matt notices him after a while and starts laughing as well.)
Mrs. Geller: Here, sweetie, here. I took these when I had my golfing accident. (Hands Ross a bottle of pills. Then turns to Monica and pats her hair over her ears)
Joey: (To Chandler) Iced tea.
Bonnie: I think I brought back half of the beach in my hair. It was so much easier when I used to shave my head.
Chandler: Pheebs! We have to take you to the hospital now!
[Scene: The couch store, Ross is talking to a saleswoman.]
Chandler: No! Uh, I d'know! The point is, if you were gonna set me up with someone, I'd like to think you'd set me up with someone like him.
Girl: We learned how to dance.
Interviewer: So, uh, what are you going to do next?
Monica: No, Ill do it. You just stick to your job.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Here you go. You can wear this. (hands her a sweater)
Chandler: Gap commercial. (To Monica) So did you book them? Did you call?
Joey: Oh, that sounds like fun, but weve got a ring to find!!
Guys: Hockey! (They go to leave but are blocked by three of Rachel's friends, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne. The guys pause to stare at them.) Hockey! Hockey. (The guys.)
Elizabeth: Ahh, I just have one problem left that I do not know how to solve. Uhh, Rachel maybe you want to come upstairs and help me figure it out?
Phoebe: Well I want to get in on this. Hey Mon? I dont think I can help you after all, I didnt realize this game was on.
(They all run over to the window.)
Monica: Were supposed to meet my parents in 15 minutes.
(David and Phoebe sit down at a table close to Chandler and Monica's)
Monica's Boyfriend: (returning) Here we go, one Hazelnut Latte. (Hands it to Monica and sits down.)
Rachel: Hey, now wait a minute! I get when you told people at first that you wanted to be an actor they laughed at you! Now come on Bobby, why dont you tell us a little bit about your band?
Joey: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.
MONICA: Ya know what, I think I'm gonna go to my room and read Cosmo, maybe there's something helpful in there. Know what, at least maybe I can learn how to do an at home bikini wax with leftover Cristmas candles.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe enters to find Rachel still packing.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is introducing Julie to the gang.]
[Cut back to Joey and Rachels apartment.]
[Scene: The park, Rachel's running by herself and panting. After a little while she decides to run like Phoebe.]
Chandler: I know there'll be many moments in the years to come when I'll regret asking the following question, but- And Andrew is?
Monica: All right, I I have to ask.
ROSS: Are you trying to get me to bribe you?
[Cut back to the present.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica has made food for Phoebe and Rachel to taste.]
(He takes her hands in his and kisses each one, then kisses her on the lips. When the break the kiss, Rachel starts to get nauseous and throw up. Joey backs away in horror.)
Ross: Come on! (They go to the jetway, Ross hands the tickets to the gate agent.) Here.
Ross: What is that? (refering to the sandwich)
Rachel: (speaking to the person on the phone again) Yes, yes. I still want my daughters picture, but on a bunny cake. Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts!
Joey: I know, I know! What am I going to do? (Thinks) Ooh!
Rachel: I'm trying to put Emma down for a nap, have you seen Hugsy?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is standing in the doorway, not wanting to participate in the festivities.]
Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
Phoebe: No. Im-Im to depressed to talk.
Joey: Really? In the moment, I really wanted to kiss you too. In the moment.
Chandler: Who sold a story to Archie Comics?!
Phoebe: Going to the hospital tonight?
Phoebe: Monica, can I talk to you behind my menu, please. (Behind the menu) What are you doing?
Ross: Thank you! And I have to say that first scene when you meet Mac
[Flashback to Monica and Chandlers apartment. Chandler has a bunch of people over in formal wear to give Monica a surprise birthday party. Joey is coming out of the bathroom and removing his tie.]
Rachel: Ohh, not compared to you. (Chandler nods in agreement)
Rachel: (To Phoebe) We do?
Phoebe: (in a sexy voice to Chandler) Ill be waiting.
Rachel: Well, we never actually got to dinner.
FBOB: If... if you want to drink, it's OK with me, I've got to get used to it.
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
Monica: Well Ross, you be careful now. You dont want to get a reputation as yknow Professor McNailshisstudents.
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
Phoebe: I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach?
Rachel: No, Monica! Monica! We have to fix this!
Ross: It-its great to meet you Paul.
Chandler: Nothing, I just like to go like this. (Does it again.)
Monica: Well, because we want to get to know her better and she's never been to New York so she wants to see all the tourists' spots... you know, Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building...
Chandler: (escorting Joey to the door) You have to get out of here. You slept with our social worker and you never called her back and she is still pissed, so she can't see you.
Paul: Thanks for your help. (Starts to leave.)
[Suddenly the door opens and Ross's mystery girl enters. I'll give you a hint to who it is: OH .MY .GAWD!! Uh-huh, it's Janice.]
Ross: Kristen, hi. Are you uh, new to the area, cause if you are Id love to show you around sometime.
Joey: You got married to fast.
Rachel: I was just getting him to like you.
Rachel: (laughs) Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that aint a pretty picture in the morning, yknow what I mean. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the night stand, y'know.
[Joey's place. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to and throws the phone back down.]
Phoebe: Ok, who wants to hear something ironic?
Ross: (Yells) Damnit! (Goes to the door to leave. Rachel just enters, sees him and starts laughing)
Mike: Phoebe you don't have to eat...
Monica: (as Rachel) (Revealing her anger to point at her best friend) We both do that!
Phoebe: Oh, I'm going to give him something else besides joy, just (She scowls at him.)
Rachel: No, yknow what? Its gonna be okay. I mean you dont have to have this rustic Italian feast. Yknow? And-and you dont need, you dont need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. (She starts to cry, as does Monica.)
Rachel: Of course I packed! Monica relax! I just wanted to ask Phoebe her opinion on what I should wear tonight.
Phoebe: All right. We're gonna take Clunkers to Rosss. We'll be back in a minute. (Gets up with Monica to do so.)
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
Phoebe: Exactly! Look, no matter what I tried to do, I couldn't keep you out of my life. Of all the people I have cut out, you were the only one who ever clawed her way back in.
Joey: And just wait for Rachel to come back from her date?
Chandler: Horrifying? Scarring? Something people go to jail for?
Wayne: Hey Joey, I want to talk to you.
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
(She goes to close the door, but Chandler puts his foot it in.)
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?