words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is showing pictures of his new baby boy, Ben, to the group.]
Rachel: Oh, let me see! (grabs picture) Oh, God, is he just the sweetest thing? You must just want to kiss him all over!
Chandler: Nothing, just a little extra air in my mouth. Pffft. Pffffffft. (walks over to where Joey is seated)
Chandler: (sigh)... And where's this money coming from? (gives money to Joey)
Joey: Alright, come on you guys, it's not that big a deal. Really... I mean, I just go down there every other day and... make my contribution to the project. Hey, hey, but at the end of two weeks, I get seven hundred dollars.
Phoebe: We've got the ground-up flesh of formerly cute cows and turkeys, ew... (hands meat to Monica)
Joey: Well, the tough thing is, she really wants to have sex with me.
Joey: Yeah, well, I still got a week left to go in the program, and according to the rules, if I want to get the money I'm not allowed to conduct any... ersonal experiments, if you know what I mean.
Ross: I'm going to China.
Monica: You're going to China?
Ross: Yeah, i-it's for the museum. Someone found a bone, we want the bone, but they don't want us to have the bone, so I'm going over there to try to persuade them to give us the boit'sit's a whole big bone thing. Anyway, I'm gonna be gone for like, uh... like a week, so, uh, if you wanna reach me, y-you can't. So here's my itinerary (hands a sheet of paper to Monica). Um... here's a picture of me... (hands it to Monica)
Ross: (to Monica): Could you take it to Carol's every now and then, and show it to Ben, just so he doesn't forget me?
(Phoebe puts the picture of Ross up to her face.)
Ross: Hey, is Rachel here? Um, I wanted to wish her a happy birthday before I left.
Ross: OK, I'm gonna go say goodbye to the guys.
Ross: (sigh)....I have to go to China.
Joey: He's right, man. Please. Move on. Go to China. Eat Chinese food.
Joey: We want you to be happy. And I may only have a couple beers in me, but... I love you, man. (Joey gives Ross a hug)
(Everyone follows Rachel to the living room. Monica pulls Joey aside.)
(They both walk over to where Rachel is opening her gifts. Rachel sees her first gift is a fruit basket.)
Rachel: (picks it up) OK... ah, it's light... (shakes it)...it rattles... it's... (opens it) Travel Scrabble! Oooohhh, thank you! (she gives it back to him)
Joey: (to Rachel): That book got me through some tough times.
Rachel: No! None! I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened, so I just... (to Joey): W-well, what else did he say? I mean, does he, like, want to go out with me?
Rachel: Ross? All this time? Well, I've got to talk to him. (gets up to leave)
Monica: From here to the airport?
Monica: Rachel, what're you gonna say to him?
(Phoebe gets up, holds the picture of Ross up to her face.)
Rachel: Noooo... look, all I know is that I cannot wait a week until I see him. I mean, this is just too big. Y'know, I just, I've just gotta talk to him. I... I gotta... OK, I'll see you later. (opens door)
[Scene: Airport, Ross has headphones on, and is listening to a 'How To Speak Chinese' tape. Occasionally, he makes an outburst in Chinese in accordance with the tape. He is getting on the jetway. The flight attendant is there.]
(Rachel runs into the airport, trying to catch Ross, moving people out of the way.)
(Rachel gets up to the jetway.)
Rachel: Oh, no, no, I don't have one. I just need to talk to my friend.
[Cut to the Jetway, the flight attendant enters, walks past Ross, and approaches an older man with his wife who is also wearing a blue jacket.]
Man: (to wife): Toby... Oh, for God's sake, I don't know what she's talking about! There's no Rachel! Don't give me that deep freeze.
(Joey starts to kiss her.)
Joey: Well, it's like, last night, I couldn't do the thing that usually makes me great. So I had to do all this other stuff. And the response I got... man, oh man, it was like a ticker tape parade!
Chandler: Yes, I know, as it happens my room is very very close to the parade route.
Joey: It was amazing! And not just for her... uh-uh. For me, too. It's like, all of a sudden, I'm blind. But all my other senses are heightened, y'know? It's like... I was able to appreciate it on another level.
(Rachel looks bored. At this point, Rossa figment of Rachel's imagination shows up on the balcony and starts talking to her.)
Rachel: Would you excuse me, please? I'm trying to have a date here.
(She tries, and Ross disappears momentarily. He reappears, standing closer to her.)
Rachel: Well... he happens to be a very nice... guy....
Ross: (pause) No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me?
Rachel: I forgot... I am supposed to pick up a friend at the airport. I am so sorry! I'm so... if you want to stay, and finish your drinks, please do.... (gives him her drink) I meanI'm sorry. I-I-I gotta go. I'm sorry.
[Cut to the jetway, the old man who the flight attendant delivered Rachel's message to gets off the plane, his wife still upset with him.]
Ross: No problem. I cannot wait for you to meet my friends.
[Cut to a close-up of Rachel, eagerly awaiting Ross's arrival... not knowing he is getting off the plane with another woman.]
Ross: (whispering in her ear) Oh, thats right! He called to ask out Monica! That-thats gotta be embarrassing!
Chandler: (looking around) Did I go to this school?
Joey: Look, you guys have been to every play Ive ever been in, have I ever had chemistry on stage?
Chandler: Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Yknow, for you, and (Clears his throat) I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. (Points up and then over to the street)
Joey: Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.
Chandler: So I was right. This is what it feels like to be right. (Pause) Its oddly unsettling.
Joey: Umm, now uh Its a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Yknow, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Joey: Oh yeah, Smokey Joe here got half way to the highway and collapsed.
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Joey: Please I have an extremely high threshold...Holly Mother Of God! My face! My face!! I'm all right! I'm all right!Just a little bit of shock that's all but I'll be fine you can go again. I'm OK(He tries to avoid the tweezers) Dammit! Woman!! How Hoooow!
Ross: I love you. (goes to kiss her and she turns away.)
Chandler: David, I'm pretending to read here!!
ROSS: [to Joey who's looking over a toilet stall] Joey, some people don't like that.
Chandler: Hey, look, I know what it is to be a friend, I just-I just screwed up!
[Scene: Ross's building's lobby, he and Rachel are about to attempt to take the couch upstairs.]
Chandler: Phoebe is going to say "yes"? That's, that's great!
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Is that Joey?! (She nods yes) Let me talk to him!
Rachel: Oh, sure! Do you need me to train somebody new?
Monica: Hey, maybe I'll drive you up there! I'd like to buy some tickets myself!
Phoebe: I love you. But I never needed a proposal from you. I just needed to know that we were headed somewhere, you know, that we had a future.
(She lets go of the steering wheel to get her cell-phone from her purse. Ross screams and reaches over in order to hold onto the wheel. Cut to the plane. Rachel is sitting in her seat when her cell-phone rings.)
Rachel: Well, it was good.. until we got back to our apartment, and then we were fooling around and he started to put his hand up my leg and I kept slapping it away!
Rachel: So were okay, were okay, were okay, (starts to exam Ben) arent we? No, were not okay, were not okay, theres a bump, theres a bump.
Ross: Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it.
Phoebe: Well, Ive got to get out of this bed, Im going crazy here. Crazy!
Ross: Yeah. (They go to the kitchen.)
Monica: I just wanted to see how it's going.
Joey: Ohh, no, no. Were not going to just sit. (Joey sits down and hits the speed dial button on the phone.) Shhh. (It begins to ring.)
[Scene: The Wedding Chapel, continued from last season. Chandler and Monica are about to get married.]
Monica: But getting over was the hardest thing that Ive ever had to do. And I never let myself think about you.
Ross: (stares at him angrily) Ok. (determined to spell it correctly) B - O - S ...
(Ross recognises her and goes over to the couch, mouthing Oh my God
Chandler: You say that now, but it could take us a long time to get back home. Plus Joey could get lost and and they could have to page us to go pick him up.
Chandler: Well, that's what we do. Y'know, I-I mess up and then you tell me how to fix it and then I do and then y'know you think I'm all cute again.
Monica: You still want to move in together right?
Ross: J-j-just relax, nobody yelled. Jack just was calling to make sure that you were getting better.
Monica: Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then here... I give you the headset. Well, I don't really want to give you the headset. Well I guess if you're taking over, you should probably return these messages. (hands her a stack of papers with messages and calls to return)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ronni is talking to Chandler. Joey's dad is not around.]
Monica: Okay. (in her microphone) It's zero hour. All teams execute on my count. (to all) Let's get this bad boy on the road.
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Chandler: Oh good, when he comes back for his keys, Ill be sure to give him your shoe.
Phoebe: (to the player) Hi.
Monica: Come here, I want to show you something!
Chandler: (sighs) Just one more thing. I was so pissed at you that night that I wanted to get back at you. So I thought, who does Ross like the more than anybody?
(They all walk over to see the baby.)
Monica: No! Really! Any time Ross makes a toast everyone cries, and hugs him, and pats him on the back and they all come up to me and say, "God, your brother." Know what theyll say this year? "God, you"
Rachel: Okay, maybe they are not funny to you
(Rachel goes into her room and closes the door. Which allows Monica to let Chandler out of her room.)
Chandler: When did that happen to you?!
Rachel: Well yknow I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "Whats up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
Rachel: (gasps) Oh, I just remembered. We do have something to eat. Monica put something in our oven this morning.
Danny: Yep. (To Rachel) I'm gonna wear these on our date tonight.
(Monica turns to get the wine.� Chandler peeps through the peephole.� Joey, seeing something, peeps back.� Chandler ducks.� Monica returns with two glasses of wine.� She gives one to Joey.)
Monica: Oops! (Covers its eyes.) Yknow, your birthday is in a month-and-a-half, what do you say I forget to get you a present for that too?
Ross: (scornful) Grab a spoon. Do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon? Do the words 'Billy, don't be a hero' mean anything to you?
Ross: Uh, if you guys don't mind, I'd like to take a moment, just me and him.
Joey: Hey!! I need to relax! Okay? I was working all day!
Chandler: Hey now besides, if worst comes to worst, Ill be your boyfriend.
Monica: (Takes it) That's Mindy? Wow, she is pretty. (Sees Rachel's look) Lucky. To have had a friend like you.
Joey: Leetch spots Messier in the crease- there's the pass! (He kicks it to Ross, but Ross is staring into a shop window.)
Phoebe: Y'know what, I can stay, Im gonna stay. Cause the last time I went skiing I was to afraid to jump off the chair lift, I just went around and around.
[Cut to Ross and Emily standing by the foosball table.]
(Phoebe and Mike look at him, and he goes over to the counter.)
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?
Chandler: And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym.
Ross: (sarcastically) Oh Great! After I finish my wine I'm going to blow my... eh. average-sized brains out.
Joey: Uh-huh look, the only reason I can over here was to settle things between us! Okay? Youve done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back so I took you to the premiere but you missed it! Okay, so how much do I owe you?
Chandler: (To Ross) I'm sorry too.
Monica: This is where I thought the barca lounger could go! You see you could see the TV and its still walking distance to the kitchen.
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Chanukah. Saw Santa Clause, he said hello to Ross. And plese tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"
RACH: No, you guys, you really don't have to go, we're done talking.
Monica: All right, Chandler can make boxes, Ross can wrap, and Joey can lift things. Now Phoebe, go tell the guys they have to help out!
Rachel: No! Joey please! Please dont! Please dont leave like this! Now come on, you cannot do this to a pregnant woman! (Starts to cry.)
Liam: In fact were playing a game at the park tomorrow. Youre welcome to play too if you want.
Phoebe: Mhuh, guys, that means the world to me. Huh, nkay, I�m gonna take off.
RADIO: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out.
Monica: You dont have to stick up for her. She cant here you.
Tag: Its lame, I know. But Im a goal-oriented person, very eager to learn
Chandler: Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape. And I promise, next time to submit you whether I think you are right for the part or not.
Chandler: Okay, she is the star of the play. And she is my girlfriend! I get to have sex with the star of the play!
RACHEL: You want me to talk you out of it?
Joey: That's way uptown! That's like three trains away! (Phoebe pinches him.) Which is great! I love to ride that rail!
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know
Chandler: O-okay. (steps closer to Monica and speaks softly) So, is she gonna take the test?
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
Joey: I cant! Yknow? You guys dont know what its like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down.
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
Chandler: Oh, yes. I decided to leave these out for you in case Richard stops by and you wanna engage on a little light bondage and moustache play!
Ross: (jumping to his feet in anger) What?
Joey: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You just want to put it on your hand!
Phoebe: Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
A Drunken Gambler: (To Chandler) Don't you let her go! You're a lucky guy!
[Cut to a shot of the coliseum in Rome, Italy.]
Laura: Oh! Well, actually, before we look around, let me make sure I have everything I need up to here...
MR. TREEGER: There she is. And over there, that's the other one. This is Mr. Buddy Boyle, Mr. Heckles' attorney. He'd like to talk to you.
Chandler: Okay uh, heres the electric bill. (Hands it to him.)
Joey: Okay. I went down to the Mattress King showroom and, and I saw Janice, kissing her ex-husband.
Monica: (entering and interrupting the guys escape attempt) Okay! The movers will be here in 11 hours. Rachel has not packed. Now, everybody has to help! Chandler, were gonna start with
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Phoebe: Do you want me to teach you? I'm a great teacher.