words in movies
Chandler: What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing.
Joey: No, no no no no. See. Each woman is different.You have to appreciate their uniqueness.
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey sweetie! (they kiss)
Chandler: (To Monica) Why...why?
Ross: Thanks. (he takes the card) Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... (pauses when he realizes what he is saying) florist. (he goes away)
Phoebe: Oh, you won't believe who moved back to town.
Monica: She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. (she apes Amanda using an awful British accent) "Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!"
Chandler: Are you trying to do a British accent?
Monica: (pause) (to Phoebe) Chandler gets pedicures!
Phoebe: You know what Amanda said to me when she got me on the phone? (apes Amanda in a british accent) "Oh, so sorry to catch you on your Mo-Bile!" If-if you don't wanna get me on my mo-Bile, don't call me on my mo-Bile!"
Monica: Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! (to Chandler) Have you ever done that?
Chandler: No, had it done to me though. Feels good !
Assistant: You've got to face the red light. When the red light goes on the spraying is about to start so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five. Pat yourself down to avoid drip marks then turn around so we can get your back. Got it?
Ross: No, I barely even got to three Mississippi.
Assistant: Mississippi? I said count to five'!
(The assistant leaves and Ross goes back in the spray-on tan booth and turns his back to the spray nozzles, facing the back wall)
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica and Phoebe are reading magazines when the phone rings and Phoebe reaches to pick it up]
Amanda: Let’s see.. to assure you get this directly, ring me back on my mobile.
Chandler: Hang on, she’s right here. (he enters the living room and hands the phone to Monica) Someone's on the phone, for ya.
Chandler: (to Amanda) I get pedicures!
Monica: Well, I said 'no' to her coming over now! I couldn’t say 'no' twice! I get this uncontrollable need to please people!
Rachel: Absolutely! Absolutely. I d... it’s just a little weird, it’s you, and it’s me, it's just gonna take some getting used to.
(They start kissing and Joey starts to undo her bra, but fails completely)
Joey: All right, turn around, I got to get a look at this thing.
(Joey starts trying to undo her bra, but it won’t go.The elastic band snaps back, hurting Rachel.)
Joey: I'm sorry! (He stands up) This never happened to me before! I'm an expert at taking off bras! I can do it with one hand! I can do it with my eyes closed! One time I just looked at one, and it popped open! I blame your bra!
Rachel: Ok well, well I'm really, I'm sorry about that Joey, but do you think that maybe on some level, you don't want to take off my bra?
Ross: I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.
Ross: Oh! And it gets worse! (Turns his side to Chandler and Monica and pulls up his shirt. There's a distinct line across his body, where his belly is very tanned and his back is very pale.)
Monica: How could you mess this up? It's so easy? You go into the booth, you count to five and you turn around!!
Ross: (looks at her suspiciously) How do you count to five?
Ross: (Yells) Damnit! (Goes to the door to leave. Rachel just enters, sees him and starts laughing)
Rachel: Well, it was good.. until we got back to our apartment, and then we were fooling around and he started to put his hand up my leg and I kept slapping it away!
Joey: Hey Chandler can I talk to you for a second (points to the hall).
Rachel: (To Joey) No need!! Problem solved, we are powering through (At which point she grabs his hand and pulls him back to their apartment).
Monica: (sees what he is doing) Chandler, stop! It is not going to pop open!
Monica: (sits down) Oh good. Good, look I'm so sorry, for screwing up that cutting-her-out plan. But I have a new plan. Chandler agreed to call here in a few minutes with an emergency.
Amanda: (To Monica) Hello!
Amanda: (In a fake British accent) It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! (gives her coat to Monica as well) Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs (at which point she grabs both Phoebe and Monica's hands and places them both on her stomach) I don't exercise at all! (she pulls them down to sit.) Oh gosh, so Monica, you're married!
Amanda: (To Phoebe) Smell my neck! (Phoebe does so) It's not perfume! It's me! It's my natural scent!
Amanda: (to Phoebe) No I distinctly remember you were dodging her (points at Monica) calls and trying to avoid seeing her.
Monica: (To Phoebe) You were going to cut me out?
Monica: (Into the phone) Hello? Chandler, what's wrong? (She listens) Oh my God, are you alright? (listens some more) Yeah, I'll be right there. (She hangs up and speaks to Amanda) I'm so sorry, but Chandler was in a car accident. (She gets up)
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey!
Joey: Yes ma'am, ready to Power through!
Rachel: Excellent! Stick it in the ice bucket, the phone is off the hook, and in the interest of powering through (Starts to remove her bra from under her clothes)...
Rachel: Ok (starts to light some candles) Sexy, sexy, very sexy, sexy. (Claps her hands and jumps at Joey, clearly very excited) Alright! Lets do it!
Rachel: You like that? (She climbs on the barcalounger seductively, putting her knees next to Joey's hips.) Let's take this into high gear (She pulls the barcalounger lever and seat reclines. She puts one of her knees between his legs and begins to kiss his neck.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler! Thank God you're alive. Monica, can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Monica: I have nothing to say to you.
Amanda: (announces more to herself than anyone else) Wow, my flat is twice this size!
(They both walk to the door and enter the hallway.)
Monica: I can't believe you tried to cut me out. Why Phoebe, why?
Phoebe: Exactly! Look, no matter what I tried to do, I couldn't keep you out of my life. Of all the people I have cut out, you were the only one who ever clawed her way back in.
(Ross enters the room, takes off his robe and enters the booth. He stands with his back to the nozzles and then realises that this booth has nozzles at both sides of the wall)
(He turns around frantically from side to side.)
(He now turns to the other side, which also starts spraying his face and front.)
Rachel: No, I mean with us, you know. I mean, is it supposed to be this... difficult?
Rachel: Hi! Hey, listen, can we ask you a question? When you and Monica first hooked up, was it weird going from friends to... more than that?
Chandler: Kinda... you know, sneaking around, having to hide from you guys...
(Rachel and Joey are still looking at Chandler, slowly letting his words get to them)
Chandler: I can tell from your expressions that that's the good news you were hoping for... Well, I'm gonna go continue to... spread the joy.(Chandler leaves the apartment. Joey sighs)
Rachel: Well, just because it happened that way for them doesn't mean it has to happen that way for us.
Rachel: Love you too... Alright, I'm going to bed.
(Rachel gets up, and Joey tries to get up, but halfway up he sits down again.)
Ross: Go away! I don't want to see anybody.
Chandler: I know, I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me. You have to let me in.
(Ross walks to the door and opens it.)
Chandler: No, I just had to get a picture of this.
Rachel: (to Monica) What?!
CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance. . . ya know, make a little love. . . well pretty much get down tonight.
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
Ross: Obviously not to Joey.
Joey: Y-y-yeah! (As they start to leave, Rachel pauses and steals a vase with flowers in it.) Yeah you do. (They exit.)
ROSS: [sitting at table talking to a girl] It's hard to tell because I'm sweating, but I use exactly what the gel bottle says, an amount about the size of a pea. How, how can that be too much?
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself.
Monica: Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? (Joey laughs but stops when Chandler turns to glare at him.)
Chandler: Yeah, either that, or Gloria Estefan was right, eventually, the rhythm is going to get you.
Rachel: (lifts for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast � to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Rachel: All right, well that's good to know. Good night, Steve.
Emily: Dont do this to me, again. Youd know Id stay here in a minute, but Id really miss so much work, theyll fire me.
Emily: (Giggles.) Ohh...(She realizes that shes in her gown.) Oh! You were not meant to see me before the wedding. Its bad luck.
MONICA: Well, CHP because I used to have a crush on Eric Estrada. And ZXY becuase I think it sounds zexy.
Monica: Can we turn the TV off? Okay? Do we really want to spend the entire weekend like this?
Phoebe: Umm, well I, I kinda had a little chat with Alice, and I sort of made her see why you two shouldnt be together, y'know. And youre gonna see it to, one day, you really, really will.
Chandler: We are supposed to make these decisions together! Did you not watch the Doctor Phil I taped for you?
Ross: Thanks, Gunther. (takes the plate Gunther serves him and Rachel comes up and kisses him) (to Rachel) Hey! (to Gunther) Umm, can I get a napkin too?
Kim: Oh don't be sorry, that's part of your job here to give your opinions and then I take credit for them--I'm kidding.
Rachel: Dont!! (Joey backs away frightened.) (To Jill) Honey, what are you doing here?!
Rachel: (to Ross) Whats your problem?
(Barry finds it draped on a cupboard and gives it to Rachel, they kiss as Bobby enters.)
MONICA: Woah, woah, woah, let's go back to 29.
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Rachel: You know what? Uhm, I have some goodbye stuff that I wanted to say to each of you and I was gonna save it until the end of the night, but come here (they go into the guest room).
Chandler: (glaring at her) Well, Monica and Chandler cant go. Were going to dinner remember?!
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, she has just lost her flower to Chandler.]
Monica: Oh she misunderstood, she thought she was moving to Tulsa.
Monica: Oh, I don't know. Maybe, um, "That was nice?" Admit something to me? "I'll call you?"
MONICA: Wait a minute, who told you? [turns to Chandler who's looking sheepish] You are dead meat.
Rachel: That had to hurt!
Rachel: (holding the phone out to Chandler) Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to speak to you.
Sonia: We'll get to the wax in a minute. First I want to tweeze some of the strays, ok? This may sting just a little bit...
Ross: (to Joey) It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay (back to Mon and Chan), but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.
Russell: And well need to have witnesses who can testify that you were not of uh, sound mind.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
EDDIE: You want me to sing?
Chandler: Yeah, well, she's probably talking to Richard.
Receptionist: Welcome to the Chestnut Inn Mr. Bing, so where are you joining from?
[The stereo system booms out 'Billions of years ago. . .'. Ross gets up and changes it to music.]
Mr. Douglas: Not you. Relax. Ever have to fire anyone?
Rachel: Okay Joey honey, youre doing really good! All right, now Im just gonna need you to step to the port side. (Joey pauses as he tries to remember which side is the port side.) Remember? Remember how we talked about the port side?
Chandler: Our eyes are closed and were about to cross the street. Very good.
Rachel: OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow... (gets up to leave)
CHANDLER: That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get.
Rachel: I didnt uh, really have time to read this part of the books, but do you think we have time to
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
Teacher: Well that's all right, you can come up to the front and dance with me.
Phoebe: Yeah we thought it would be nice to use the fancy china for dessert too.
Leslie: No, no, I dont want to forget it.
[Scene: Rachels outer office, shes returning with two coffee cups in hand to find Tag sitting there.]
Monica: Okay, I feel like Im talking to Lassie. All right, Phoebe would you just tell me!
Monica: Phoebe, you have to lift it and point.
Phoebe: Yeah I know. Isnt it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
Chandler: Are you sure he's gonna be able to crack that code?
[Rachel brings a muffin to Chandler and Monica who are sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: Nooo! Its not okay! I cant believe you would want to after what he did to me!
The Casting Director: Actually, I tried to call to you. You didnt need to come down here today.
Joey: Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Chandler: For my last birthday you gave me a hug! (To Rachel) Okay, read the card! Read the card!
[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Chandler: People whove never ever been to Paris.
Chandler: Well, that's like money in your pocket! - Alright look, you want me to say it? This sucks. Being here sucks! This work sucks!
Joey: Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guys not going to be bothering you about that baby thing anymore.
JOEY: Phoebs look, if you want to know what the deal is, you're just gonna have to ask him.
Rachel: And so were-were you close to your parents?
Monica: All right fine. Fine, Ill do it. Ive just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.
Rachel: Oh, it's a gift certificate to this new SPA in SOHO.
Ross: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. (He starts to sit down on the bed. There's one problem though, he's about two feet to the left of it. Needless to say, he misses and falls on his butt.) (Looking up at Joey.) Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
Ross: But, um... I don't think that's going to be you.
Ross: Yknow what? I-I gotta go. (Starts to leave.)
(They enter Joey and Rachels to find that Joey has broken Chandlers chair.)
Rachel: (To Marcel) And I will see you tomorrow!
Monica: If it is a new message, what is he calling to say?
Mischa: Well, you just asked if I wanted to go to bed with you tonight.
(Cut back to Joey and Angela at the counter.)
Alice: Absolutely. Okay, first well start with a little club soda and salt, and then if that doesnt work we can go back to
Alice: (shocked) Oh! Oh! Oh! Thank you so much! You dont know what this means to us! Oh!
Monica: Okay, fine. (runs to her room)
Monica: All right, Ill take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and thats it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. (to Ross) Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all?
Chandler: (starts to recite a rehearsed speech) Monica is a self-sufficient, together lady. (Pause.) Being with her has been like being on a vacation. And what may be perceived as high maintenance is merely attention to detail and(He falters and Monica prompts him.)generosity of spirit.
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Rachel: Well, Chandler said that it's really important to him too!
Rachel: Well, it doesnt sound like it! I mean, its pretty easy not to kiss someone, you just dont kiss them! See look at us, right now, not kissing!
(Monica smiles to cover her embarrassment, but Rachel sadly looks away...)
Joey: All right, who got Chandler? Cause I uh, need to trade.
Cecilia: (running out to Joey) That was so wonderful! (Hugs him) Ohh, I think that youre a better Jessica than I ever was!
Rachel: What do you think Monica mean when she said she didnt want to talk, especially with me? I mean, why not especially you and me? We were both out there kissing.
Rachel: Shhh...I don't know what to do, this is totally unprecedented.
Phoebe: Yeah, and-and leaving us to go see hot dancer girls is not very Thanksgivingy.
Frank: Oh, excellent. (starts to melt the fire extinguishers hose.)
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-you go to the doctor!
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad .
Monica: Its never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.
Joey: Yes sir! Yes sir, Im-Im(he starts to leave)
Phoebe: Rachel has something that she wants to tell you and umm, I believe that this is your red sweater.
Bitter lady: (now yelling) Well, you're not gonna get one! Because in life there are no intermissions, people. Chapter 7: Divorce is a 4 letter word. (Now standing right in front of Chandler and bending down almost to his level as if speaking to him, yelling even louder) How could he leave me?!?!
MONICA: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.