words in movies
Chandler: What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing.
Joey: No, no no no no. See. Each woman is different.You have to appreciate their uniqueness.
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey sweetie! (they kiss)
Chandler: (To Monica) Why...why?
Ross: Thanks. (he takes the card) Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... (pauses when he realizes what he is saying) florist. (he goes away)
Phoebe: Oh, you won't believe who moved back to town.
Monica: She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. (she apes Amanda using an awful British accent) "Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!"
Chandler: Are you trying to do a British accent?
Monica: (pause) (to Phoebe) Chandler gets pedicures!
Phoebe: You know what Amanda said to me when she got me on the phone? (apes Amanda in a british accent) "Oh, so sorry to catch you on your Mo-Bile!" If-if you don't wanna get me on my mo-Bile, don't call me on my mo-Bile!"
Monica: Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! (to Chandler) Have you ever done that?
Chandler: No, had it done to me though. Feels good !
Assistant: You've got to face the red light. When the red light goes on the spraying is about to start so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five. Pat yourself down to avoid drip marks then turn around so we can get your back. Got it?
Ross: No, I barely even got to three Mississippi.
Assistant: Mississippi? I said count to five'!
(The assistant leaves and Ross goes back in the spray-on tan booth and turns his back to the spray nozzles, facing the back wall)
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica and Phoebe are reading magazines when the phone rings and Phoebe reaches to pick it up]
Amanda: Let’s see.. to assure you get this directly, ring me back on my mobile.
Chandler: Hang on, she’s right here. (he enters the living room and hands the phone to Monica) Someone's on the phone, for ya.
Chandler: (to Amanda) I get pedicures!
Monica: Well, I said 'no' to her coming over now! I couldn’t say 'no' twice! I get this uncontrollable need to please people!
Rachel: Absolutely! Absolutely. I d... it’s just a little weird, it’s you, and it’s me, it's just gonna take some getting used to.
(They start kissing and Joey starts to undo her bra, but fails completely)
Joey: All right, turn around, I got to get a look at this thing.
(Joey starts trying to undo her bra, but it won’t go.The elastic band snaps back, hurting Rachel.)
Joey: I'm sorry! (He stands up) This never happened to me before! I'm an expert at taking off bras! I can do it with one hand! I can do it with my eyes closed! One time I just looked at one, and it popped open! I blame your bra!
Rachel: Ok well, well I'm really, I'm sorry about that Joey, but do you think that maybe on some level, you don't want to take off my bra?
Ross: I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.
Ross: Oh! And it gets worse! (Turns his side to Chandler and Monica and pulls up his shirt. There's a distinct line across his body, where his belly is very tanned and his back is very pale.)
Monica: How could you mess this up? It's so easy? You go into the booth, you count to five and you turn around!!
Ross: (looks at her suspiciously) How do you count to five?
Ross: (Yells) Damnit! (Goes to the door to leave. Rachel just enters, sees him and starts laughing)
Rachel: Well, it was good.. until we got back to our apartment, and then we were fooling around and he started to put his hand up my leg and I kept slapping it away!
Joey: Hey Chandler can I talk to you for a second (points to the hall).
Rachel: (To Joey) No need!! Problem solved, we are powering through (At which point she grabs his hand and pulls him back to their apartment).
Monica: (sees what he is doing) Chandler, stop! It is not going to pop open!
Monica: (sits down) Oh good. Good, look I'm so sorry, for screwing up that cutting-her-out plan. But I have a new plan. Chandler agreed to call here in a few minutes with an emergency.
Amanda: (To Monica) Hello!
Amanda: (In a fake British accent) It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! (gives her coat to Monica as well) Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs (at which point she grabs both Phoebe and Monica's hands and places them both on her stomach) I don't exercise at all! (she pulls them down to sit.) Oh gosh, so Monica, you're married!
Amanda: (To Phoebe) Smell my neck! (Phoebe does so) It's not perfume! It's me! It's my natural scent!
Amanda: (to Phoebe) No I distinctly remember you were dodging her (points at Monica) calls and trying to avoid seeing her.
Monica: (To Phoebe) You were going to cut me out?
Monica: (Into the phone) Hello? Chandler, what's wrong? (She listens) Oh my God, are you alright? (listens some more) Yeah, I'll be right there. (She hangs up and speaks to Amanda) I'm so sorry, but Chandler was in a car accident. (She gets up)
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey!
Joey: Yes ma'am, ready to Power through!
Rachel: Excellent! Stick it in the ice bucket, the phone is off the hook, and in the interest of powering through (Starts to remove her bra from under her clothes)...
Rachel: Ok (starts to light some candles) Sexy, sexy, very sexy, sexy. (Claps her hands and jumps at Joey, clearly very excited) Alright! Lets do it!
Rachel: You like that? (She climbs on the barcalounger seductively, putting her knees next to Joey's hips.) Let's take this into high gear (She pulls the barcalounger lever and seat reclines. She puts one of her knees between his legs and begins to kiss his neck.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler! Thank God you're alive. Monica, can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Monica: I have nothing to say to you.
Amanda: (announces more to herself than anyone else) Wow, my flat is twice this size!
(They both walk to the door and enter the hallway.)
Monica: I can't believe you tried to cut me out. Why Phoebe, why?
Phoebe: Exactly! Look, no matter what I tried to do, I couldn't keep you out of my life. Of all the people I have cut out, you were the only one who ever clawed her way back in.
(Ross enters the room, takes off his robe and enters the booth. He stands with his back to the nozzles and then realises that this booth has nozzles at both sides of the wall)
(He turns around frantically from side to side.)
(He now turns to the other side, which also starts spraying his face and front.)
Rachel: No, I mean with us, you know. I mean, is it supposed to be this... difficult?
Rachel: Hi! Hey, listen, can we ask you a question? When you and Monica first hooked up, was it weird going from friends to... more than that?
Chandler: Kinda... you know, sneaking around, having to hide from you guys...
(Rachel and Joey are still looking at Chandler, slowly letting his words get to them)
Chandler: I can tell from your expressions that that's the good news you were hoping for... Well, I'm gonna go continue to... spread the joy.(Chandler leaves the apartment. Joey sighs)
Rachel: Well, just because it happened that way for them doesn't mean it has to happen that way for us.
Rachel: Love you too... Alright, I'm going to bed.
(Rachel gets up, and Joey tries to get up, but halfway up he sits down again.)
Ross: Go away! I don't want to see anybody.
Chandler: I know, I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me. You have to let me in.
(Ross walks to the door and opens it.)
Chandler: No, I just had to get a picture of this.
Phoebe: Well, Ive got to get out of this bed, Im going crazy here. Crazy!
Ross: Yeah. (They go to the kitchen.)
Monica: I just wanted to see how it's going.
Joey: Ohh, no, no. Were not going to just sit. (Joey sits down and hits the speed dial button on the phone.) Shhh. (It begins to ring.)
[Scene: The Wedding Chapel, continued from last season. Chandler and Monica are about to get married.]
Monica: But getting over was the hardest thing that Ive ever had to do. And I never let myself think about you.
Ross: (stares at him angrily) Ok. (determined to spell it correctly) B - O - S ...
(Ross recognises her and goes over to the couch, mouthing Oh my God
Chandler: You say that now, but it could take us a long time to get back home. Plus Joey could get lost and and they could have to page us to go pick him up.
Chandler: Well, that's what we do. Y'know, I-I mess up and then you tell me how to fix it and then I do and then y'know you think I'm all cute again.
Monica: You still want to move in together right?
Ross: J-j-just relax, nobody yelled. Jack just was calling to make sure that you were getting better.
Monica: Rachel, what're you gonna say to him?
Monica: Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then here... I give you the headset. Well, I don't really want to give you the headset. Well I guess if you're taking over, you should probably return these messages. (hands her a stack of papers with messages and calls to return)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ronni is talking to Chandler. Joey's dad is not around.]
Monica: Okay. (in her microphone) It's zero hour. All teams execute on my count. (to all) Let's get this bad boy on the road.
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Chandler: Oh good, when he comes back for his keys, Ill be sure to give him your shoe.
Phoebe: (to the player) Hi.
Monica: Come here, I want to show you something!
Chandler: (sighs) Just one more thing. I was so pissed at you that night that I wanted to get back at you. So I thought, who does Ross like the more than anybody?
(They all walk over to see the baby.)
Monica: No! Really! Any time Ross makes a toast everyone cries, and hugs him, and pats him on the back and they all come up to me and say, "God, your brother." Know what theyll say this year? "God, you"
Rachel: Okay, maybe they are not funny to you
(Rachel goes into her room and closes the door. Which allows Monica to let Chandler out of her room.)
Chandler: When did that happen to you?!
Rachel: Well yknow I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "Whats up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
Rachel: (gasps) Oh, I just remembered. We do have something to eat. Monica put something in our oven this morning.
Danny: Yep. (To Rachel) I'm gonna wear these on our date tonight.
(Monica turns to get the wine.� Chandler peeps through the peephole.� Joey, seeing something, peeps back.� Chandler ducks.� Monica returns with two glasses of wine.� She gives one to Joey.)
Monica: Oops! (Covers its eyes.) Yknow, your birthday is in a month-and-a-half, what do you say I forget to get you a present for that too?
Ross: (scornful) Grab a spoon. Do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon? Do the words 'Billy, don't be a hero' mean anything to you?
Ross: Uh, if you guys don't mind, I'd like to take a moment, just me and him.
Joey: Hey!! I need to relax! Okay? I was working all day!
Chandler: Hey now besides, if worst comes to worst, Ill be your boyfriend.
Monica: (Takes it) That's Mindy? Wow, she is pretty. (Sees Rachel's look) Lucky. To have had a friend like you.
Joey: Leetch spots Messier in the crease- there's the pass! (He kicks it to Ross, but Ross is staring into a shop window.)
Phoebe: Y'know what, I can stay, Im gonna stay. Cause the last time I went skiing I was to afraid to jump off the chair lift, I just went around and around.
[Cut to Ross and Emily standing by the foosball table.]
(Phoebe and Mike look at him, and he goes over to the counter.)
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?
Chandler: And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym.
Ross: (sarcastically) Oh Great! After I finish my wine I'm going to blow my... eh. average-sized brains out.
Joey: Uh-huh look, the only reason I can over here was to settle things between us! Okay? Youve done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back so I took you to the premiere but you missed it! Okay, so how much do I owe you?
Chandler: (To Ross) I'm sorry too.
Monica: This is where I thought the barca lounger could go! You see you could see the TV and its still walking distance to the kitchen.
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Chanukah. Saw Santa Clause, he said hello to Ross. And plese tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"
RACH: No, you guys, you really don't have to go, we're done talking.
Monica: All right, Chandler can make boxes, Ross can wrap, and Joey can lift things. Now Phoebe, go tell the guys they have to help out!
Rachel: No! Joey please! Please dont! Please dont leave like this! Now come on, you cannot do this to a pregnant woman! (Starts to cry.)
Liam: In fact were playing a game at the park tomorrow. Youre welcome to play too if you want.
Phoebe: Mhuh, guys, that means the world to me. Huh, nkay, I�m gonna take off.
RADIO: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out.
Monica: You dont have to stick up for her. She cant here you.
Tag: Its lame, I know. But Im a goal-oriented person, very eager to learn
Chandler: Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape. And I promise, next time to submit you whether I think you are right for the part or not.
Chandler: Okay, she is the star of the play. And she is my girlfriend! I get to have sex with the star of the play!
RACHEL: You want me to talk you out of it?
Joey: That's way uptown! That's like three trains away! (Phoebe pinches him.) Which is great! I love to ride that rail!
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know
Chandler: O-okay. (steps closer to Monica and speaks softly) So, is she gonna take the test?
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
Joey: I cant! Yknow? You guys dont know what its like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down.
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
Chandler: Oh, yes. I decided to leave these out for you in case Richard stops by and you wanna engage on a little light bondage and moustache play!
Ross: (jumping to his feet in anger) What?
Joey: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You just want to put it on your hand!
Phoebe: Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
A Drunken Gambler: (To Chandler) Don't you let her go! You're a lucky guy!
[Cut to a shot of the coliseum in Rome, Italy.]
Laura: Oh! Well, actually, before we look around, let me make sure I have everything I need up to here...
MR. TREEGER: There she is. And over there, that's the other one. This is Mr. Buddy Boyle, Mr. Heckles' attorney. He'd like to talk to you.
Chandler: Okay uh, heres the electric bill. (Hands it to him.)
Joey: Okay. I went down to the Mattress King showroom and, and I saw Janice, kissing her ex-husband.
Monica: (entering and interrupting the guys escape attempt) Okay! The movers will be here in 11 hours. Rachel has not packed. Now, everybody has to help! Chandler, were gonna start with
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Phoebe: Do you want me to teach you? I'm a great teacher.
Rachel: How about you guys? (Points to Phoebe and Joey.)
Felicity: Um-hum. Talk New York to me again.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Chandler: No. When it comes to sweets, hes surprisingly strict.
Ross: Yknow what I think it is? I think youve made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesnt want to leave.
Monica: Well, she corned me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?!
Monica: No-no-no, that's a video-phone. But hey guys you're not supposed to be here, so please, do not touch anything.
Woman: Well you can have the suite if you want. We dont care about where we stay. Were here to celebrate our love together. We dont have to get free stuff. We just want to be together.
Phoebe: Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? (Mimicking a heartbeat and tapping her chest.) Phoebe, Phoebe.
Joey: Oh, uh, ok. Right this way. All the other pregnant women seem to be goin' in here.
Monica: Oh, well dont take it to the same place you took the stereo, cause theyve had that thing for over a week.
Phoebe: Oh you did? (To Rachel) He did it! He did it!
Joey: Now? You want me to go over there now?
Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.
Chandler: Well yeah! But now that I know that youre having these thoughts, Im back to panic, anxiety, and uh Im definitely gonna need some kind of sports drink.
Rachel: Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!
Monica: (opening the door) (to Pete) Hey!
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
[Cut to another part of the building. We see Marcel jump in through a window and run down some stairs, then Chandler and Joey come down from the upper floor without noticing.]
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me, Im sorry, Im gonna have to call you back, Ive got a Schemp in my office. (hangs up) (to Ross) What are you doing?
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.