words in movies
Chandler: What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing.
Joey: No, no no no no. See. Each woman is different.You have to appreciate their uniqueness.
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey sweetie! (they kiss)
Chandler: (To Monica) Why...why?
Ross: Thanks. (he takes the card) Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... (pauses when he realizes what he is saying) florist. (he goes away)
Phoebe: Oh, you won't believe who moved back to town.
Monica: She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. (she apes Amanda using an awful British accent) "Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!"
Chandler: Are you trying to do a British accent?
Monica: (pause) (to Phoebe) Chandler gets pedicures!
Phoebe: You know what Amanda said to me when she got me on the phone? (apes Amanda in a british accent) "Oh, so sorry to catch you on your Mo-Bile!" If-if you don't wanna get me on my mo-Bile, don't call me on my mo-Bile!"
Monica: Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! (to Chandler) Have you ever done that?
Chandler: No, had it done to me though. Feels good !
Assistant: You've got to face the red light. When the red light goes on the spraying is about to start so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five. Pat yourself down to avoid drip marks then turn around so we can get your back. Got it?
Ross: No, I barely even got to three Mississippi.
Assistant: Mississippi? I said count to five'!
(The assistant leaves and Ross goes back in the spray-on tan booth and turns his back to the spray nozzles, facing the back wall)
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica and Phoebe are reading magazines when the phone rings and Phoebe reaches to pick it up]
Amanda: Let’s see.. to assure you get this directly, ring me back on my mobile.
Chandler: Hang on, she’s right here. (he enters the living room and hands the phone to Monica) Someone's on the phone, for ya.
Chandler: (to Amanda) I get pedicures!
Monica: Well, I said 'no' to her coming over now! I couldn’t say 'no' twice! I get this uncontrollable need to please people!
Rachel: Absolutely! Absolutely. I d... it’s just a little weird, it’s you, and it’s me, it's just gonna take some getting used to.
(They start kissing and Joey starts to undo her bra, but fails completely)
Joey: All right, turn around, I got to get a look at this thing.
(Joey starts trying to undo her bra, but it won’t go.The elastic band snaps back, hurting Rachel.)
Joey: I'm sorry! (He stands up) This never happened to me before! I'm an expert at taking off bras! I can do it with one hand! I can do it with my eyes closed! One time I just looked at one, and it popped open! I blame your bra!
Rachel: Ok well, well I'm really, I'm sorry about that Joey, but do you think that maybe on some level, you don't want to take off my bra?
Ross: I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.
Ross: Oh! And it gets worse! (Turns his side to Chandler and Monica and pulls up his shirt. There's a distinct line across his body, where his belly is very tanned and his back is very pale.)
Monica: How could you mess this up? It's so easy? You go into the booth, you count to five and you turn around!!
Ross: (looks at her suspiciously) How do you count to five?
Ross: (Yells) Damnit! (Goes to the door to leave. Rachel just enters, sees him and starts laughing)
Rachel: Well, it was good.. until we got back to our apartment, and then we were fooling around and he started to put his hand up my leg and I kept slapping it away!
Joey: Hey Chandler can I talk to you for a second (points to the hall).
Rachel: (To Joey) No need!! Problem solved, we are powering through (At which point she grabs his hand and pulls him back to their apartment).
Monica: (sees what he is doing) Chandler, stop! It is not going to pop open!
Monica: (sits down) Oh good. Good, look I'm so sorry, for screwing up that cutting-her-out plan. But I have a new plan. Chandler agreed to call here in a few minutes with an emergency.
Amanda: (To Monica) Hello!
Amanda: (In a fake British accent) It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! (gives her coat to Monica as well) Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs (at which point she grabs both Phoebe and Monica's hands and places them both on her stomach) I don't exercise at all! (she pulls them down to sit.) Oh gosh, so Monica, you're married!
Amanda: (To Phoebe) Smell my neck! (Phoebe does so) It's not perfume! It's me! It's my natural scent!
Amanda: (to Phoebe) No I distinctly remember you were dodging her (points at Monica) calls and trying to avoid seeing her.
Monica: (To Phoebe) You were going to cut me out?
Monica: (Into the phone) Hello? Chandler, what's wrong? (She listens) Oh my God, are you alright? (listens some more) Yeah, I'll be right there. (She hangs up and speaks to Amanda) I'm so sorry, but Chandler was in a car accident. (She gets up)
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey!
Joey: Yes ma'am, ready to Power through!
Rachel: Excellent! Stick it in the ice bucket, the phone is off the hook, and in the interest of powering through (Starts to remove her bra from under her clothes)...
Rachel: Ok (starts to light some candles) Sexy, sexy, very sexy, sexy. (Claps her hands and jumps at Joey, clearly very excited) Alright! Lets do it!
Rachel: You like that? (She climbs on the barcalounger seductively, putting her knees next to Joey's hips.) Let's take this into high gear (She pulls the barcalounger lever and seat reclines. She puts one of her knees between his legs and begins to kiss his neck.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler! Thank God you're alive. Monica, can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Monica: I have nothing to say to you.
Amanda: (announces more to herself than anyone else) Wow, my flat is twice this size!
(They both walk to the door and enter the hallway.)
Monica: I can't believe you tried to cut me out. Why Phoebe, why?
Phoebe: Exactly! Look, no matter what I tried to do, I couldn't keep you out of my life. Of all the people I have cut out, you were the only one who ever clawed her way back in.
(Ross enters the room, takes off his robe and enters the booth. He stands with his back to the nozzles and then realises that this booth has nozzles at both sides of the wall)
(He turns around frantically from side to side.)
(He now turns to the other side, which also starts spraying his face and front.)
Rachel: No, I mean with us, you know. I mean, is it supposed to be this... difficult?
Rachel: Hi! Hey, listen, can we ask you a question? When you and Monica first hooked up, was it weird going from friends to... more than that?
Chandler: Kinda... you know, sneaking around, having to hide from you guys...
(Rachel and Joey are still looking at Chandler, slowly letting his words get to them)
Chandler: I can tell from your expressions that that's the good news you were hoping for... Well, I'm gonna go continue to... spread the joy.(Chandler leaves the apartment. Joey sighs)
Rachel: Well, just because it happened that way for them doesn't mean it has to happen that way for us.
Rachel: Love you too... Alright, I'm going to bed.
(Rachel gets up, and Joey tries to get up, but halfway up he sits down again.)
Ross: Go away! I don't want to see anybody.
Chandler: I know, I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me. You have to let me in.
(Ross walks to the door and opens it.)
Chandler: No, I just had to get a picture of this.
Chandler: No! Ok, this is not good. You are a guy. Ok? This is a guys place. If you let this go, youre going to be sitting around with your fingers soaking in stuff.
Monica: Okay, but wouldnt it be easier if you had to tell me something that you could tell me.
Frank: So gross! (He runs back to the delivery room.)
RICHARD: [walks out of the bathroom and runs into Mrs. Geller who is going to the bathroom] Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you.
Cynthia: God, this was really fun! I've been wondering if you were going to ask me out.
Rachel: You seem to really like her.
Monica: Oh, thanks! We'll try to stop by.
RACHEL: Oh, yeah, well hey, welcome to our sauna.
Morse: You see, thats why I did so bad on this test. Im having a hard time concentrating. When youre up there (Points to the podium) and youre teaching and your face gets all serious you look so good. (In a sexy voice) You wear that tight little turtleneck sweater
The Interviewer: I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.
Monica: You know how much I love listening to your music, you know, but...
Chandler: I dont want to look.
Paul: Hey! I have so much more to tell ya, Ive written it all down!
Joey: Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks shes like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread!
Rachel: I just wanted to let you know I've changed my mind: I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna kiss Joey.
Phoebe: Okay, don't worry, I'm just checking to see if the muscle's in spasm...huh.
Chandler: Yes! Way to go, man! (Chandler and Ross hug. Something crunches in Ross' shirt pocket.) Still got the egg, huh?
Monica: So why-why wasnt Rosss stuff ruined? (Pause) And if you say the words medical marvel Im going to Easy Bake your head!
Chandler: Oh, its so hard to care when youre this relaxed.
Phoebe: Wait, no, look at this! (Points to one.) (Reading) "Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay " Oh, yeah, but its on the ground floor.
Chandler: Let me finish ... (to everyone else) however, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get this job so I can't afford to have principles, so screw you, the tickets are ours!! (takes tickets from Rachel)
Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
Monica: (Entering from her bedroom, talking on the phone) Yeah, once again, I am sorry. Thank you. Bye. (To the gang) I just had to turn down a job catering a funeral for sixty people.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is there talking to the chick and duck.]
Kate: Hi, nice to meet you. Kate Miller.
Joey: Yeah, hes the reason I didnt get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.
Chandler: Yeah, Im gonna stick with the ring. (Goes to another display counter.) Oh, this ones nice! (Pointing to another ring.) I like this one! Sir? Uh, kind sir? Can I see this one?
Rachel: Okay, well then how about puberty! Come on, thats always a painful time! Yknow your friends invite you to a slumber party and then they stick your hand in warm water while youre sleeping so that you pee in your sleeping bag.
Joey: No, no, no more! I cannot lose another dime! Im serious this time! In-in fact, look, theres aI wanna give you something. And let me give it too you know before I pawn it for Cups money. (He rolls the big white dog over) Now, I want you to have the big white dog as a kinda of a, yknow, thank you for being such a great roommate.
Phoebe: I have to tell you this story. Okay, I was coming over here and this driver
Barry: (answering the intercom) Be right there. (To Robbie and Rachel) Be back in a sec.
Mrs. Geller: (entering) Well, everyone seems to be enjoying your dish.
Ross: Look I-I realize if anything were to happen with me and Jill then nothing could ever happen with us!
Monica: Sorry, lets go back! Cause youve got more to say.
(Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.)
Monica: So, do you want me to watch Ben for you?
(Monica turns around and is about to leave when she steps on something.)
Rachel: (gasps) Emma! (Looks at the baby and starts to cry.) See? I dont want it.
[Cut to the hospital, later. Everyone is talking about Nana.]
Ross: Oh, and Chandler and I have this stupid college alumni thing. I can't believe you get to meet Donny Osmond.
PHOEBE: Maybe that's because you haven't taken the time to get to know him. Let's remedy that, shall we?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are there. Monica is suggesting Mockolate recipes to Phoebe.]
Ross: (To Joey) Thanks man.
Phoebe: Umm, Wethering Heights. I'm taking a literature class at the New School and I have to finish it for the first session tomorrow.
ROSS: (on phone) Yeah, yeah, everybody's here. Hey, everybody, say hi to Julie in New Mexico.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.]
The Flight Attendant: (to another passenger) Welcome to Las Vegas.
Joey: Yeah! All rightLook, I know sometimes itll be hard, okay? But, itll also be really really great. Please Rachel! I-I-I really want you to stay.
Rachel: Sure! That sounds great! Just leave me a message and tell me where to meet you. Okay? (Walks away.)
ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
Rachel: Hey... hi, ladies... uh, can I get you anything? (to Monica, quietly): Did you bring the mail?
Ross: Oh please! (He sits down.) (To Phoebe) Youre gonna say things now, arent ya?
Ursula: Okay, I know that I went to that all ready.
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Chandler: And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. (She glares at him.) Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet.
(Cut to Joey's apartment. Joey looks inside the cardboard box that used to be the home of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., but they have disappeared.)
PHOEBE: She wants to meet you in person.
Joey: Well Im not proud of this, but (He turns around and starts to mess with his eyelids.)
[Scene: Monica, Fun Bobby, and Phoebe sitting in Central Perk Rachel is serving them. She brings a mug to Monica.]
Ross: No, youve heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And Im not going to tell you what song Im gonna play either. But uh, lets just say when its over Ill bet there will be a we bit o celebration.
Rachel: (starts to cry) Ross, please, I found the magazines!
Rachel: And he didn't want you guys to know about it but I came over here to tell you!!
Joey: Ooh, like the time you and I went to Atlantic City and I made you laugh so hard you threw up your whole steak?! Remember?
Joshua: Thanks. (He starts to leave) Maybe Ill see in the spring, with the uh, yknow, for the uh, bathing suits.
Rachel: Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Joey trying to take a piece and yells at him) Joey, don't touch it!!
MR. HECKLES: Thank you. I'm going to rejoin my dinner party.
Ross: (Watching Marcel and talking to Rachel) I wanted this to work so much. I mean I'm still in there, changing his diapers, pickin' his fleas... but he's just phoning it in. Just so hard to accept the fact that something you love so much doesn't love you back.
Monica: Oh THATS ME! (she runs to the pizza guy)
Mr. Burgin: Well, were starving, why dont we all go get something to eat?
[Flashback scene: We cut back to the 80's party. Rachel and Monica are "dancing".]
Chandler: I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine, but that tape is not mine.
RACHEL: Oh yeah. I used to babysit him. Hey, how's his dad?
Ross: I think when someone steals your credit card, they've kind of already thrown caution to the wind.
DOCTOR: No, under these circumstances it has to be an injection, and it has to be now.
ROSS: Why wouldn't I want to come? I had fun at the first wedding.
RACHEL: Ya know, I mean this is supposed to be a joyous occasion. My sister's graduating from college, nobody thought she would. It's a true testament to what a girl from long island would do for a Celica.
Rachel: You could.... say youre sorry to her mom.
Phoebe: (to her) Hey! Dont you give me any of yourHey! (Sees Chandler and Monica standing there.)
Chandler: I just have to know, okay. Is it my hair?
Joey: Look, come on you guys, you said you were gonna try! All right look, I came over here to invite you guys to a movie with me and Janine.
ROSS: Basically he told me to get over myself and just do it, ya know. So I though about what you said and I though about what he said and, well, his way I get to have sex tonight so. . .
MONICA: Yeah. It's my dad's birthday, I decided to give him a stroke.
Ross: No seriously. I have job security for life. You know, I never have to worry. (Rachel starts crying) Oh, look at you. Look how happy you are for me.
Joey: Wow! Maybe uh, maybe you and I ought to get to know each other a little better.
Joey: I've been trying for two days. When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk. I can't believe she's blowin' me off.
Rachel: Ahh, I dont believe you. I think you dont want them to see you begging me. (Goes to put the tape in the VCR)
Joey: I don't know. But I can see through your sheet. (He looks out the window.) Yeah, yeah, that's her. But y'know what? Doesn't matter, I'm never gonna get to meet her anyway.
ROSS: Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.
(Joey starts to eat the rest of the lasagne and everyone turns and stares at him.)
Chandler: Oh-aw my God! Now, I understand if you never want to sleep with me again, but that would be wrong. We're too good! We owe it, to sex!
[cut to Phoebe and Rachel as Monica returns from the bathroom]
Ross: (to Caitlin) Hey uh, y'know that smell gas has?
Chandler: Well maybe if you go to school here next year we can totally hang out.
Monica: Honey, listen... You have nothing to worry about with Geoffrey.
[Scene: Rachel's room. Rachel is attending to Emma. Amy is standing behind her.]
Ross: oh boy you got mad at that part. I went over there to tell him how great you are but you know me BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, and I ended up telling him that.
Monica: (to Chandler and Joey) I won the game.
Rachel: Oh really? So youre saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! (I think Dogbert should have a line here.)
Chandler: Okay, I guess we can lose to junior high girls some other time.