words in movies
Chandler: What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing.
Joey: No, no no no no. See. Each woman is different.You have to appreciate their uniqueness.
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey sweetie! (they kiss)
Chandler: (To Monica) Why...why?
Ross: Thanks. (he takes the card) Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... (pauses when he realizes what he is saying) florist. (he goes away)
Phoebe: Oh, you won't believe who moved back to town.
Monica: She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. (she apes Amanda using an awful British accent) "Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!"
Chandler: Are you trying to do a British accent?
Monica: (pause) (to Phoebe) Chandler gets pedicures!
Phoebe: You know what Amanda said to me when she got me on the phone? (apes Amanda in a british accent) "Oh, so sorry to catch you on your Mo-Bile!" If-if you don't wanna get me on my mo-Bile, don't call me on my mo-Bile!"
Monica: Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! (to Chandler) Have you ever done that?
Chandler: No, had it done to me though. Feels good !
Assistant: You've got to face the red light. When the red light goes on the spraying is about to start so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five. Pat yourself down to avoid drip marks then turn around so we can get your back. Got it?
Ross: No, I barely even got to three Mississippi.
Assistant: Mississippi? I said count to five'!
(The assistant leaves and Ross goes back in the spray-on tan booth and turns his back to the spray nozzles, facing the back wall)
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica and Phoebe are reading magazines when the phone rings and Phoebe reaches to pick it up]
Amanda: Let’s see.. to assure you get this directly, ring me back on my mobile.
Chandler: Hang on, she’s right here. (he enters the living room and hands the phone to Monica) Someone's on the phone, for ya.
Chandler: (to Amanda) I get pedicures!
Monica: Well, I said 'no' to her coming over now! I couldn’t say 'no' twice! I get this uncontrollable need to please people!
Rachel: Absolutely! Absolutely. I d... it’s just a little weird, it’s you, and it’s me, it's just gonna take some getting used to.
(They start kissing and Joey starts to undo her bra, but fails completely)
Joey: All right, turn around, I got to get a look at this thing.
(Joey starts trying to undo her bra, but it won’t go.The elastic band snaps back, hurting Rachel.)
Joey: I'm sorry! (He stands up) This never happened to me before! I'm an expert at taking off bras! I can do it with one hand! I can do it with my eyes closed! One time I just looked at one, and it popped open! I blame your bra!
Rachel: Ok well, well I'm really, I'm sorry about that Joey, but do you think that maybe on some level, you don't want to take off my bra?
Ross: I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.
Ross: Oh! And it gets worse! (Turns his side to Chandler and Monica and pulls up his shirt. There's a distinct line across his body, where his belly is very tanned and his back is very pale.)
Monica: How could you mess this up? It's so easy? You go into the booth, you count to five and you turn around!!
Ross: (looks at her suspiciously) How do you count to five?
Ross: (Yells) Damnit! (Goes to the door to leave. Rachel just enters, sees him and starts laughing)
Rachel: Well, it was good.. until we got back to our apartment, and then we were fooling around and he started to put his hand up my leg and I kept slapping it away!
Joey: Hey Chandler can I talk to you for a second (points to the hall).
Rachel: (To Joey) No need!! Problem solved, we are powering through (At which point she grabs his hand and pulls him back to their apartment).
Monica: (sees what he is doing) Chandler, stop! It is not going to pop open!
Monica: (sits down) Oh good. Good, look I'm so sorry, for screwing up that cutting-her-out plan. But I have a new plan. Chandler agreed to call here in a few minutes with an emergency.
Amanda: (To Monica) Hello!
Amanda: (In a fake British accent) It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! (gives her coat to Monica as well) Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs (at which point she grabs both Phoebe and Monica's hands and places them both on her stomach) I don't exercise at all! (she pulls them down to sit.) Oh gosh, so Monica, you're married!
Amanda: (To Phoebe) Smell my neck! (Phoebe does so) It's not perfume! It's me! It's my natural scent!
Amanda: (to Phoebe) No I distinctly remember you were dodging her (points at Monica) calls and trying to avoid seeing her.
Monica: (To Phoebe) You were going to cut me out?
Monica: (Into the phone) Hello? Chandler, what's wrong? (She listens) Oh my God, are you alright? (listens some more) Yeah, I'll be right there. (She hangs up and speaks to Amanda) I'm so sorry, but Chandler was in a car accident. (She gets up)
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey!
Joey: Yes ma'am, ready to Power through!
Rachel: Excellent! Stick it in the ice bucket, the phone is off the hook, and in the interest of powering through (Starts to remove her bra from under her clothes)...
Rachel: Ok (starts to light some candles) Sexy, sexy, very sexy, sexy. (Claps her hands and jumps at Joey, clearly very excited) Alright! Lets do it!
Rachel: You like that? (She climbs on the barcalounger seductively, putting her knees next to Joey's hips.) Let's take this into high gear (She pulls the barcalounger lever and seat reclines. She puts one of her knees between his legs and begins to kiss his neck.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler! Thank God you're alive. Monica, can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Monica: I have nothing to say to you.
Amanda: (announces more to herself than anyone else) Wow, my flat is twice this size!
(They both walk to the door and enter the hallway.)
Monica: I can't believe you tried to cut me out. Why Phoebe, why?
Phoebe: Exactly! Look, no matter what I tried to do, I couldn't keep you out of my life. Of all the people I have cut out, you were the only one who ever clawed her way back in.
(Ross enters the room, takes off his robe and enters the booth. He stands with his back to the nozzles and then realises that this booth has nozzles at both sides of the wall)
(He turns around frantically from side to side.)
(He now turns to the other side, which also starts spraying his face and front.)
Rachel: No, I mean with us, you know. I mean, is it supposed to be this... difficult?
Rachel: Hi! Hey, listen, can we ask you a question? When you and Monica first hooked up, was it weird going from friends to... more than that?
Chandler: Kinda... you know, sneaking around, having to hide from you guys...
(Rachel and Joey are still looking at Chandler, slowly letting his words get to them)
Chandler: I can tell from your expressions that that's the good news you were hoping for... Well, I'm gonna go continue to... spread the joy.(Chandler leaves the apartment. Joey sighs)
Rachel: Well, just because it happened that way for them doesn't mean it has to happen that way for us.
Rachel: Love you too... Alright, I'm going to bed.
(Rachel gets up, and Joey tries to get up, but halfway up he sits down again.)
Ross: Go away! I don't want to see anybody.
Chandler: I know, I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me. You have to let me in.
(Ross walks to the door and opens it.)
Chandler: No, I just had to get a picture of this.
Chandler: You wanna talk about people's feelings? You should have heard how hurt professor Stern was yesterday when I told him I wouldn't be able to go with him to Key West!
Monica: I know that switch does something, okay? So-so I went down to city hall and got these. All I had to do was pay $25 and wait in line for three hours.
Monica: Chandler! I have to tell you, you smell so smokey I have to get up. I'm not kidding. (She's not; she stands and walks away. Chandler moves closer.)
Monica: Yeah, were trying to get pregnant.
Chandler: No, I just always see guys doing this when they get handcuffs taken off them. (He runs over to where his pants are hanging) Hello sweet pants!
Dr. Leedbetter: Threatening letters, refusal to meet deadlines, apparently people now call you mental.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is teaching Richard how to make lasagne.]
Joey: (trying not to laugh) That means a lot to me man. (Exits.)
Rachel: Hey. I need to tell you something.
Rachel: (sitting at a table with some of her friends) (to waitress) Oh, um, no, no, no, no excuse me, hello. Hi. My friend ordered an onion, not an olive, and uh I ordered a rum and Diet Coke, which I dont think this is.
Rachel: Joey proposed to me.
Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!
Monica:: he has to work, there's some rush on the big (pause, thinks) ah damn it one of these days I'm really gonna have to start listening when he talks about his job.
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Ross: Joey proposed to you?
Monica: So Rach! Youre the first guest at Hotel Monica! Umm, youll just have to tell me how you like your eggs in the morning. And I thought I would bring them to you, yknow, in bed. Oh, you have been through so much.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is going up to the counter.]
Rachel: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, (points to Rosss seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey, look at that, the airports moving. (Realizes that thats not how it works.) Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that were moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.
Rachel: You were gonna propose to me?
Joey: Wait! Terry! WaitLookWait I-I Look, Im really sorry about before. I was an idiot thinking Im too big to audition for you. You gotta give me another chance.
Ross: (on phone) Yeah, hi, I was just beeped. (pause) No, Andr� is not here. (to Joey) Third time today. (on phone) Yes, I'm sure... No, sir. I don't perform those kind of services.
Rachel: I want me to stay too.
Ross: To be fair, he doesnt seem to be impersonating Fonzie
Phoebe: I cant believe I still dont know what happened to the window in the attic!
Joey: Okay. Hey uh, when do I get to meet the robot?
Ross: So you said yes to him, and you just had our baby?
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
Joey: Yeah, and there wont be a relationship left to rebuild.
(They all go down the stairs, but Ross turns around, looking like his in a coma. The others also turns around to get him.)
Katie: Oh uh I actually came here to ask you out.
Paul: Wait! Wait! Listen! Listen to this! (Flips a couple pages and points to something.) Yknow what I wanted to be when I was that age?
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]
Phoebe: Hmm, something bad to tell Rachel Bad news for Rachel, what could that be?!
Monica: (to Ross) Honey, its not pushy, he gave her his home number.
Monica: Oh, just so you know, you-you have to let him win.
Chandler: I'll try, but I'm not sure what good it would do, y'know? Because I'm a lot less afraid of commitment than I used to be.
Donny: Joey describe these things associated with the United States congress. (Joey goes form looking very confident to looking very shocked the instant the word congress is said) Give me 20 seconds on the clock please. Ready? Go!
Amy: Seriously? Its.. its just these rooms? <moves hands around motioning 'just these rooms'> <To Ross> I thought you were a doctor.
Joey: Cut it out Ross! I hate to have to save your life and kick your ass in the same day!
Joey: Man, I'm getting pretty tired. You're might have to take over soon.
Rachel: Am I going to let you watch me undress?
Ross: Phoebe, you cant force kids to be friends.
Joey: Hey. Uh, can I talk to you for a second? This, uh, kid in this picture. Do you, uh, know this kid? Is that like a relative or something?
Monica: Oh look, the pool tables free. Rack em up. Ill be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.
Ross: Why dont we talk about this on the way to the hospital?
Rachel: Hey. Amy. You've got to stop doing that.
Monica: Sounds smart and healthy to me. So um, just out of curiosity, um, do you currently have any other racquetball buddies?
Rachel: Okaaay. (To the guys, on the couch) Any of you guys want anything else?
Rachel: No! No! Phoebe, come on! I dont want to switch! Please come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
Joey: Uhh, well Ive got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. (Removes his hand to reveal a huge sauce stain.) You got an extra one?
Ross: Nooo, I had to return it to the costume place.
Joey: You, you want me to help you with that?
Joey: But you two were supposed to be together.
Ross: Shh! (singing) Here we come, walkin' down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey! (to Carol) Hey, uh, did you just feel that?
Rachel: Here you go. (Hands Emma to Phoebe)
Joey: (to Dina) You were right. He is funny.
Monica: (stands up to hand Emma back) Oh no no no no!
Chandler: Were moving to Tulsa
Monica: Werent you asked to leave sonny?
Rachel: (To Monica) Do you have to go?
Cassie: It took you that long to figure it out, huh?
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are trying to take their engagement picture. Monica has a beautiful smile, while Chandler isnt.]
Monica: Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonights specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bagWhy is nobody writing these down?
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
Stage Director: We're on in 3, 2, (points to Gary Collins.)
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
Ross: Well, we believe it originated here. (He uses a pointer and points to the point of origin.) In the Aroma Room.
Phoebe: Wh.. what? No wait, you don't get to leave! I've got a massage client waiting outside my door any minute!
Monica: NOW!!!!!!!! (Rachel runs off and Monica gets up to follow her.)
Ross: Ooh... so sad... Still, it can't be easy for you to leave Harvard? Especially after working alongside a Nobel Prize winner like Albert Wintermeyer?
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
Rachel: My boss wants to buy my baby!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Youre not gonna use the pay phone to call work, are ya?
Rachel: You know the book says that whenever shes sleeping I should be sleeping so (She gives Monica thumbs and goes to lay down)
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Ross: Okay, look, I-I know what you guys are going to say
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
[Cut to Joey and Rachel approaching table one.]
Chandler: I figured Id buy those. Pat, Id like to buy a vow. (Laughs)
Ross: True, but youre allowed to be unreasonable. Youre having our baby.
Emily: I cant believe theyre doing that to him! I told them to go easy on him!
Joey: No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!
Joey: No, Rach, I shouldve told you sooner. Its just that Man! That kid is going to town! (Joey makes his awkward exit.)
Rachel: No! It didnt! Thats what I want to talk to you about. (starts to break up) Now, just to brief you (starts to cry) I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you.
Phoebe: Wow, what is with all the negativity? You sound like Monican't , not Monican... (Monica looks almost puzzled) ...Monica. Look, you know, you have been playing around with this catering thing for over three years. Do you want to be a caterer or not?
[Cut to the hallway, Chandler is standing in front of his door.]
Ross: Yeah! Yes! Thank you! This is great. Thank you so much. And I swear, your kid is going to have the time of his life.
Frank: Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl. So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into.
Joey: Uh, we stars just try to eat right and get lots of exercise.
Ross: (to Charlie) So, eh... it's probably gonna be hard for you to leave Boston, huh?
Phoebe: I am soo dead. (goes to Monicas room)
Chandler: Have you talked to him lately?
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
Chandler: Yeah, and then I fell asleep on the subway and went all the way to Brooklyn. Brooklyn is f-far!!
Monica: (to Rachel and Phoebe) Y'know, theres a Starbucks about three blocks down.
Ross: Huh, I don't know what to pick. Am I more thankful for my divorce or my eviction? Hmm.
Amy: no, no, then I would get the baby. I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to the occasion and and then I would get a makeover and then I'd get married.
Monica: Promise to call me when you land.
Chandler: Should we tell Rachel theres an empty private room right next door to hers?