words in movies
Chandler: Are you kidding? Okay, Ill give you a hint; Ill give you a hint. (Points to his glasses.)
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, did-didnt you use to have a pair? They were really round, burgundy, and they made you look kind of umm
Chandler: (sitting down on the arm of her chair) You didnt think I used to wear glasses, right?
Monica: Of course! (She mouths, "I have no idea," to the rest of the gang.)
Chandler: Thats okay Pheebs, were not having a party or anything, so you dont have to get us
Monica: (interrupts him) If someone wants to give us a present, we dont want to deprive them of that joy.
Monica: No, you dont want this. I want to have your grandmothers cookie recipe.
Joey: Why would I do that? It took three guys to get the thing in there!
Joey: Oh, its great! Its a great place to just kinda, sit, hang around, drink a few beers, eat some chips. (He says that as he sits, hangs around, drinks a beer, and eats a chip.)
Chandler: Well, its good that you finally have a place to do that.
Rachel: Yknow Joey, I could teach you to sail if you want.
Rachel: What?! What?! He was trying to cheer me up! My pony was sick.
Chandler: Nothing, I just like to go like this. (Does it again.)
Ross: My dad wanted to know if you wanted to play racquetball with us.
Monica: Wow! Thats great! Dad must really like you, he doesnt ask just anyone to play.
Monica: Oh, just so you know, you-you have to let him win.
Monica: He hates to lose.
(Phoebe enters, walks up to Monica, and exhales exasperatedly.)
Phoebe: I just went to my old apartment to get you the-the cookie recipe and the stupid fire burned it up!
Phoebe: (pauses as he figures out how to answer that) Because Im normal! That was the one legacy my grandmother left me, and I know you wanted it as an engagement present.
Ross: Oh, we have to get you an engagement present?
Monica: (To Chandler) This is what happens when you dont register for gifts!
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont (Joeys boat), shes shown to be in one of the waterways around New York, but in reality shes in a sound stage on the Warner Bros. lot and we see New York from the water in some rather poor green screen shots. Rachel and Joey are on board.]
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coasts all the way over there. (Points to the coast, meanwhile there is coast behind him.)
Joey: Come on Rach, not again. I got it! Okay? Lets start sailing, and I want to go over there (Points) where that boatload of girls is! (Yelling to them) Yo-ho-ho!
Rachel: Oh, okay. Is that what you want to do? You wanna go over and give a little shout out to the old, hot chickas? Okay, lets do that Sailor Joe. Quick question though, (grabs some of the rigging) whats this called?
Rachel: Okay, you just go on and make your little jokey-jokes, but if you do not know what you are doing out at sea you will die at sea. Am I getting through to you sailor?! (She punctuates each word by slapping him on the forehead.)
Rachel: Dont just say yes! This isnt a game, Joey you can really get hurt out here. Okay, so do you want to pay attention or do you want to die?!
Joey: I want to make a ship to shore call to Chandler.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Phoebe are trying to determine the cookie recipe by eating small pieces.]
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Ross: And what did he ask you not to call him?
Chandler: Daddy. All right look, heres the story. (Flashback to Chandler about to enter the steam room as he does the voice-over.) Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. (The flashback shows his glasses fog up and him trying to find his way around the steam filled room. He takes off his glasses.) So I take off my glasses and thats when in happened.
[Cut to the flashback, Chandlers no longer doing the voice-over.]
Mr. Geller: Have a seat son. (You can see Mr. Geller sitting closer to the door as Chandler walks over and sits in his lap.) Hey!! (Chandler quickly jumps off and sits next to him with a shocked expression on his face.)
Ross: Cause otherwise theyd have to call it the room room.
Chandler: Why? Okay? Why? Wh-wh-why did that have to happen?
Ross: Now, I know you wanted to bond with my dad, but did you really have to bond to that part?
Chandler: I dont want him to tell this story for years.
Ross: Oh, but he will. He still tells the story how Monica tried to escape from fat camp.
Monica: I was trying to help out a squirrel.
Ross: You were trying to eat it!
Chandler: If that is your father calling to tell this story then the marriage is off!
Chandler: (getting up) All right, Im off to see your dad.
Chandler: Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore, and I figure the best way to do that is face to faceAnd by face I dont mean his lap. And by face, I dont mean my ass. (Exits.)
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey are you getting Monica and Chandler an engagement present?
Joey: Oh uh, I dont know the boat way to say this, but uh never!
Rachel: What? I was just trying to teach you.
Rachel: Excuse me, I wanted you to help, but you couldnt move your arms because you were wearing three life jackets.
Ross: You have to respect the sea! (Storms off.)
Rachel: Look Joey, Im sorry if-if you thought that was mean, but I gotta tell ya something. That was not mean. Okay, my father is mean. He used to yell at me all the time on the boat, I mean it was horrible. I was just being a good teacher.
Rachel: Yeah, I didnt want you to get hit by the boom!
Rachel: All right, yknow what? I-Im sorry. I will try to tone it down and uh stop yelling.
Joey: Do you want me to learn?!
Rachel: Okay Joey honey, youre doing really good! All right, now Im just gonna need you to step to the port side. (Joey pauses as he tries to remember which side is the port side.) Remember? Remember how we talked about the port side?
Rachel: Okay, go to the left. (Joey goes starboard or sits on the right side of the boat.) The left!
Rachel: (yelling) Just sit over there!! (Points to the port side.)
Rachel: Okay Joey, were luffing a little bit, so could you tighten up the cunningham? (The mainsail has started to flap in the wind and has stopped working efficiently; she wants him to tighten it so that it starts working again.)
Rachel: (angrily) No! All right?! I did not see the bird! I did not see the fish! I did not see the piece of Styrofoam that was shaped like Mike Tyson! I did not, because I was trying to teach you how to sail a boat! Which obviously is an impossible thing to do!
Rachel: No! No! No! Im not yelling at you, Im just yelling near you. Oh God Joey, ohh Im my father. Oh my God, this is horrible! Ive been trying so hard not to be my mother I did not see this comin. Oh, Joey, Im sorry. Im so sorry. I just wanted you to learn.
Joey: Yeah, its okay. I know what a mainsail is. (Points to it. Its the larger sail.) I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right.
Phoebe: Yknow, I bet it would actually make my grandmother very happy to know that were trying to figure out her recipe. I bet shes l-l-lookin up at us and smiling right now.
Phoebe: Oh yeahNo, she was really nice to me, but shes in hell for sure.
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Monica: I cannot believe that I just spent the last two days trying to figure out the recipe and it was in my cupboard the whole time!
(Chandler nods along and they enter the whirlpool room and remove their robes. Only Chandler is lacking a certain item of clothing. You see this is a coed whirlpool, which means swimsuits, and in fact there are two women already there and Chandler didnt seem to wear his. Needless to say, everyone is shocked, including Chandler.)
Rachel: Well Joey, I hate to admit it, your way of sailing is a lot more fun.
Chandler: But honey you don't have to.
Monica: I'm going to get bigger!
Monica: Oh my god. We're trying to get pregnant so he's probably starting to freak out about the fact that my body is going to change.
Chandler: Were moving to Tulsa! (Makes a excited expression on his face)
Chandler: God why why would you want to do that to yourself!?
RACHEL: Ross, you have to understand that your nice thing makes us feel this big.
Conan: (to Courtney) You-youve worn a fat suit on the show. And, a lot of people love you in the fat suit. Do you like wearing the fat suit? Is it fun?
Phoebe: You guys make a very attractive couple. (The camera cuts to a shot of the picture and we see that Monica is posing with Joey instead of Chandler.)
Ross: The guy who took Rachel to the prom? Why is he calling you?
Mike: But I don't want this to end.
Mike: I want to live with you too! Let's do that!
Monica: That is so sweet! (She kisses him and turns to add some sugar to her tea.)
Ross: I had to talk loud because the movie was loud!
Phoebe: I don't want it to end either.
Chandler: Hey! Ready to go?
CHANDLER: I don't know what to say. I'm sorry that we make more money than you. But we're not gonna feel guilty about it. We work really hard for it.
Monica: Oh, then bring it on! Oh, unless of course your afraid you might lose to a bunch of girls.
Monica: Im Catwoman, who wants to borrow the dress when youre too big for it.
(Turns to look at Professor Sherman, only to discover that he is sleeping)
[Cut to the waiting room, a triumphant Frank rushes in.]
(Monica helps Rachel over to a vacant seat.)
Chandler: Then why-why is she going to a play?!
Phoebe: Besides, it might be kinda fun to form the new A-Team.
Chandler: (to them) Its okay, I got a plan.
Chandler: I did! But the store wouldnt take her back! So then I took her to the shelter, and you know what I found out?
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Joey: Dude relax! It could happen to anyone.
Rachel: Uh You didnt propose to me, Chandler didnt propose to me, but Joey did.
Monica: No, no! Give it to me!
Ross: Okay. (The girls leave.) (to Tommy) So uh, well, this-this is uh, this is awkward.
Joey: A couple? Like two people? Like (points to himself) one (points to Phoebe), two people?
Joey: Oh this is great! I might actually get to play Ben's dad!
Monica: Give it to me!
Rachel: (starts crying and speaking at the same time, making it almost impossible to understand what she's saying) I wouldn't know what I'm gonna do without you...
Monica: (To Mike) What are you doing here?
Monica: Who's that? (goes to open door)
Rachel: Ugh! Joey, I have to go.
Phoebe: Youre right. Youre right, hes just embracing life. We could all stand to be a little more like Parker. You know what? I am like him! Im a sunny, positive person.
(Phoebe and Mike sit next to each other)
Chandler: If we hadn't lost the game they never would've invented us to dinner tomorrow night.
Nurse: (To Ross) Rossy, we're ready for you.
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
Joey: Monicas chicken parm! Ill take care of it. (He picks up the phone) Hey Mr. Treeger, its Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandlers apartment. Its an emergency. (Listens) Uhh, gas leak! Yeah oh, and bring garlic bread. (Hangs up.)
Chandler: I'm sorry, he's a little bit wound up, we had to stop at every maple candy stand on the way here.
Ross: (on phone) Okay, Andr� should be there in like 45 minutes. All rightie, bye bye. (to Phoebe) Just easier that way.
Phoebe: Listen, I wanted to ask you something about marriage.
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey! You cant leave Joey! You agreed to buy that boat, all right?! That is a contract! And plus if you leave, my boss is gonna kill me!
Rachel: Come on, I don't really want to be doing this right now. I am carrying a very heavy couch.
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, everyone is getting ready to go to a banquet]
Ross: Actually, it looks really good. (Turns towards the window and now Phoebe starts jumping to divert his attention.)
Rachel: (to herself) Oh God.
Mrs. Geller: Theres nothing to discuss. Were not paying for your wine cellar.
Ross: Well, um, actually, I-I took her to the planetarium. Thats-thats where we had our first date. Um, she walked in and I had the room filled with lilies, her favorite flower
Phoebe: I know, I want that too, but IS that going to make it too hard?
Phoebe: Im going to let him.
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck.)
Monica: That I was going to eat him.
[Cut back to Rachels date.]
Rachel: Oh, alright. The weirdest place would have to be... (sigh)... oh, the foot of the bed.
Ross: He couldn't even tell me! He said it was just some sort of skin... abnormality. And the worst thing is he-he-he said, he said, without being able to identify it, he was reluctant to remove it.
Ross: Cause I know what youre trying to pull here. Okay? Its not gonna work.
Chandler: (looking around at the others)I'll ask. (To Ross) Boohaki?
Mike: Yeah, look, and I don't want you to feel like you have to give me your key just because...
(Rachel finally manages to open the door, but the door chain is on.)
Russell: There are a couple of forms to fill out.
Phoebe: Yeah! What have you got to lose? Yknow you might even end up with someone really special (whispers) if you pick my guy.
Rachel: Oh! So you're driving up to Connecticut?
Chandler: (To Monica) Wow! Listen, we had a good run. What was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! (He kisses her and starts to climb out the balcony window.)
Rachel: Well, why do yknow go in that room (points to the room Ross is in) and do your homework?
Ross: I know. (Rachel bends down to Emma and Ross looks over his shoulder again, afraid)
Rachel: (to Monica and Phoebe) Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me!
Ross: Yep! I'd like to thank you guys for coming down here to complain about the rain and ruin my career!
(The assistant leaves and Ross goes back in the spray-on tan booth and turns his back to the spray nozzles, facing the back wall)
Rachel: (to Monica)What's going on?
Chandler: Oh, come on, theres a rest stop right up there! Come on, I really have to goooooooooo.
Monica: Alright, who wants to do it?
(She goes down the hall. Joshua goes to put the food away when his parents walk in.)
Ross: (yelling to Monica)They're towing your car, they're towing your car!!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler enters to find Joey lying in the fetus position on the floor.]
JOEY: Na, na I'm ok. Oh and uh, just so you know, I'm not movin' back in 'cause I have to. Well, I mean, I do have to. It's just that that place wasn't really, I mean, this is...
Rachel: Ohhh well. Yknow what honey? The best thing to do to get over a guy is to start dating someone else. Oh! There is this great guy you will love at work named Bob! Hes a real up-and-comer in Human Resources.
Monica: Okay. (She does so and starts to walk towards Joey to receive her pancakes.)
(Joey and Monica rush over to her.)
Monica: (runs over to Phoebe) You have got to go home!
PHOEBE: I know. Oh, like you would drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme.
CHANDLER: Hey, sorry I'm late. Congratulations, Mon. (to Ross) I'm not sorry I'm late. How incredible was my afternoon with Jade?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading on the couch while Joey, still suffering from his hernia, is returning with coffee for them both. After a series of grunts and groans he manages to painfully walk back from the counter, sit down, and slide Chandler his coffee.]
(He goes into his room to try them on and closes the door.)
Ross: (trying to stop her) Hey, hey!!
Danny: I had to cut my hair to get rid of the uh, fogger smell.
Mr. Geller: Way to go son! I knew youd find him!
Chandler: (to Drew) Oh, by the way, that is her full name.
Nurse: Youve done all you can Dr. Wesley. You have got to let her go.
Phoebe: Well, I bet that was very hard for him to do.
Chandler: Honey, we're leaving tomorrow you've still got a lot of packing to do.
Rachel: (to Ross) Isn't that amazing?
Ross: I'm just, I'm just glad I didn't miss my daughter's first words (goes back to checking the tickets).
Monica: Ohh, he's really shy. I-I dont think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
[Flashback to 610 - TOW The Routine] [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Rachel: Hello. (to Gavin) But you know what, hey, new day, new leaf, I am just really really happy ... (sees Gavin staring at Heather) I'm sorry, obviously Heather's ass has something more important to say so I'll just wait 'till it's finished.