words in movies
Chandler: Are you kidding? Okay, Ill give you a hint; Ill give you a hint. (Points to his glasses.)
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, did-didnt you use to have a pair? They were really round, burgundy, and they made you look kind of umm
Chandler: (sitting down on the arm of her chair) You didnt think I used to wear glasses, right?
Monica: Of course! (She mouths, "I have no idea," to the rest of the gang.)
Chandler: Thats okay Pheebs, were not having a party or anything, so you dont have to get us
Monica: (interrupts him) If someone wants to give us a present, we dont want to deprive them of that joy.
Monica: No, you dont want this. I want to have your grandmothers cookie recipe.
Joey: Why would I do that? It took three guys to get the thing in there!
Joey: Oh, its great! Its a great place to just kinda, sit, hang around, drink a few beers, eat some chips. (He says that as he sits, hangs around, drinks a beer, and eats a chip.)
Chandler: Well, its good that you finally have a place to do that.
Rachel: Yknow Joey, I could teach you to sail if you want.
Rachel: What?! What?! He was trying to cheer me up! My pony was sick.
Chandler: Nothing, I just like to go like this. (Does it again.)
Ross: My dad wanted to know if you wanted to play racquetball with us.
Monica: Wow! Thats great! Dad must really like you, he doesnt ask just anyone to play.
Monica: Oh, just so you know, you-you have to let him win.
Monica: He hates to lose.
(Phoebe enters, walks up to Monica, and exhales exasperatedly.)
Phoebe: I just went to my old apartment to get you the-the cookie recipe and the stupid fire burned it up!
Phoebe: (pauses as he figures out how to answer that) Because Im normal! That was the one legacy my grandmother left me, and I know you wanted it as an engagement present.
Ross: Oh, we have to get you an engagement present?
Monica: (To Chandler) This is what happens when you dont register for gifts!
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont (Joeys boat), shes shown to be in one of the waterways around New York, but in reality shes in a sound stage on the Warner Bros. lot and we see New York from the water in some rather poor green screen shots. Rachel and Joey are on board.]
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coasts all the way over there. (Points to the coast, meanwhile there is coast behind him.)
Joey: Come on Rach, not again. I got it! Okay? Lets start sailing, and I want to go over there (Points) where that boatload of girls is! (Yelling to them) Yo-ho-ho!
Rachel: Oh, okay. Is that what you want to do? You wanna go over and give a little shout out to the old, hot chickas? Okay, lets do that Sailor Joe. Quick question though, (grabs some of the rigging) whats this called?
Rachel: Okay, you just go on and make your little jokey-jokes, but if you do not know what you are doing out at sea you will die at sea. Am I getting through to you sailor?! (She punctuates each word by slapping him on the forehead.)
Rachel: Dont just say yes! This isnt a game, Joey you can really get hurt out here. Okay, so do you want to pay attention or do you want to die?!
Joey: I want to make a ship to shore call to Chandler.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Phoebe are trying to determine the cookie recipe by eating small pieces.]
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Ross: And what did he ask you not to call him?
Chandler: Daddy. All right look, heres the story. (Flashback to Chandler about to enter the steam room as he does the voice-over.) Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. (The flashback shows his glasses fog up and him trying to find his way around the steam filled room. He takes off his glasses.) So I take off my glasses and thats when in happened.
[Cut to the flashback, Chandlers no longer doing the voice-over.]
Mr. Geller: Have a seat son. (You can see Mr. Geller sitting closer to the door as Chandler walks over and sits in his lap.) Hey!! (Chandler quickly jumps off and sits next to him with a shocked expression on his face.)
Ross: Cause otherwise theyd have to call it the room room.
Chandler: Why? Okay? Why? Wh-wh-why did that have to happen?
Ross: Now, I know you wanted to bond with my dad, but did you really have to bond to that part?
Chandler: I dont want him to tell this story for years.
Ross: Oh, but he will. He still tells the story how Monica tried to escape from fat camp.
Monica: I was trying to help out a squirrel.
Ross: You were trying to eat it!
Chandler: If that is your father calling to tell this story then the marriage is off!
Chandler: (getting up) All right, Im off to see your dad.
Chandler: Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore, and I figure the best way to do that is face to faceAnd by face I dont mean his lap. And by face, I dont mean my ass. (Exits.)
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey are you getting Monica and Chandler an engagement present?
Joey: Oh uh, I dont know the boat way to say this, but uh never!
Rachel: What? I was just trying to teach you.
Rachel: Excuse me, I wanted you to help, but you couldnt move your arms because you were wearing three life jackets.
Ross: You have to respect the sea! (Storms off.)
Rachel: Look Joey, Im sorry if-if you thought that was mean, but I gotta tell ya something. That was not mean. Okay, my father is mean. He used to yell at me all the time on the boat, I mean it was horrible. I was just being a good teacher.
Rachel: Yeah, I didnt want you to get hit by the boom!
Rachel: All right, yknow what? I-Im sorry. I will try to tone it down and uh stop yelling.
Joey: Do you want me to learn?!
Rachel: Okay Joey honey, youre doing really good! All right, now Im just gonna need you to step to the port side. (Joey pauses as he tries to remember which side is the port side.) Remember? Remember how we talked about the port side?
Rachel: Okay, go to the left. (Joey goes starboard or sits on the right side of the boat.) The left!
Rachel: (yelling) Just sit over there!! (Points to the port side.)
Rachel: Okay Joey, were luffing a little bit, so could you tighten up the cunningham? (The mainsail has started to flap in the wind and has stopped working efficiently; she wants him to tighten it so that it starts working again.)
Rachel: (angrily) No! All right?! I did not see the bird! I did not see the fish! I did not see the piece of Styrofoam that was shaped like Mike Tyson! I did not, because I was trying to teach you how to sail a boat! Which obviously is an impossible thing to do!
Rachel: No! No! No! Im not yelling at you, Im just yelling near you. Oh God Joey, ohh Im my father. Oh my God, this is horrible! Ive been trying so hard not to be my mother I did not see this comin. Oh, Joey, Im sorry. Im so sorry. I just wanted you to learn.
Joey: Yeah, its okay. I know what a mainsail is. (Points to it. Its the larger sail.) I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right.
Phoebe: Yknow, I bet it would actually make my grandmother very happy to know that were trying to figure out her recipe. I bet shes l-l-lookin up at us and smiling right now.
Phoebe: Oh yeahNo, she was really nice to me, but shes in hell for sure.
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Monica: I cannot believe that I just spent the last two days trying to figure out the recipe and it was in my cupboard the whole time!
(Chandler nods along and they enter the whirlpool room and remove their robes. Only Chandler is lacking a certain item of clothing. You see this is a coed whirlpool, which means swimsuits, and in fact there are two women already there and Chandler didnt seem to wear his. Needless to say, everyone is shocked, including Chandler.)
Rachel: Well Joey, I hate to admit it, your way of sailing is a lot more fun.
Chandler: You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? Im going to get a joke journal. Yknow? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
Ross: Yes, we have to tell her!
Monica: Nooo! No, thats not true. No, best time ever! Yeah, you rocked me world! (She turns out the light to go back to sleep.)
Ross starts talking over her 'do you remember' line: Amy. I'm going to save you some time, ok. <spins finger around in circle> All me.
Joey: Who cares? You're Rachel! (To Chandler) Who's Kip?
Rachel: So what are you guys going to do?
Chandler: If you wanna give Joey a Christmas present that disrupts the entire building, why not get him something a little bit more subtle, like a wrecking ball, or a vile of small pox to release in the hallway?
Chandler: Im only going to pretend Im moving to Yemen, its the only way I can get rid off her.
Ross: I told her I'd have to think about it. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to make this kind of a decision? (They're all quiet.) I'm actually asking you!
Chandler: Yknow what? Its gonna be okay. Yknow what? Shes probably not gonna even want to come.
[Scene: The park, the gang is returning to play the second half of the game.]
Rachel: Well, she told me too! (Points to Monica and Joey glares at her.)
Ross: Well, as much as Id like to meet Josh and warn him, Emily and I arent going to be here. All right? I mean, shes going to come by first to say good-bye, and then Ive got a whole special evening planned. So Im sorry, no party.
[Cut to a shot of a park.]
Rachel: Yeah, it's in there. (Points to the bathroom.)
Rachel: Oh, please, I don't care about you enough to bug me. In fact, from now on, I'm going take the high road. And I'm going be very very nice to you, you "momma's boy", starting right now.
[cut to Rachel and Monica at the counter.]
Monica: (To Chandler) Rachel's at work.
Monica: (to the clerk) Ooh, an ink stain! Hey, can I watch how you get this out?
JOEY: Hey, are you cool with this. I mean, I don't want to leave you high and dry.
(Phoebe snaps the ball to Monica, who pitches back to Rachel.)
FBOB: Well, I would make them Belgian, but the waffles are hard to get into that flask.
Kathy: The Velveteen Rabbit. I kinda have the feeling you had something to do with it.
Chandler: No, I prefer to keep a safe distance from all this merriment.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters and walks quickly over to the window to watch Rosss apartment. We see that Rosss apartment is empty.]
ROSS: No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey.
The Interviewer: So, lets talk about women. Im sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life.
Monica: I think it's totally insane, I mean, they work for the hospital. It's like returning to the scene of the crime. You know, I say we blow off the dates.
MIKE: Yeah.� (pause)� Yeah, I'm sorry.� I don't . . . I don't really like to talk about it.
Chandler: See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married? I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.
Monica: OK, we done with the chit-chat? Are we ready to play some serious poker?
Chandler: So I really never get to win anymore?
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe! Come on! You know what, it's already three o'clock and they haven't even gotten to Emma's group yet. We gotta go, we got dinner!
PHOEBE: Nope. You don't want to see a face covered with pox.
Phoebe: Oh! Since tomorrow. I met this really cute guy in the park and he like y'know, jogs, and blades, and swims, and so y'know we made a deal thats hes going to teach me all sorts of jock stuff.
Janice: (entering) Yoo-hoo! Aaron Litman-Neurolic would like to say hello to his future bride.
Joey: I like to see the previews. (Rachel looks at him.) The candy.
Monica: Okay listen, yknow when you move in Rachels room is gonna be empty, you wanna talk about what we want to do with it?
Monica: (interrupting her) Okay, now Thanksgiving's over, let's get ready for Christmas. Who wants to go get a Christmas tree?!
Joey: (warily) Who called here? Did she sound blond? Huh? Did-did-did she have an accent? I gotta make a call! (Starts to leave) I shoulda never walked into that Sunglass Hut!
Joey: Well uh, I went down there and told him that no one treats my friends like that and that hed better come up here and apologize. Ill see you later. (Starts to leave)
Joey: OK... my weirdest place would have to be... the women's room on the second floor of the New York CIty public library.
Chandler: Okay, so weve established my name, and hit me. But theoretically y'know, I mean say we werent friends, say its a blind date. I show up at your door, and Im like (in a fake voice) Hey, nice to meet, ya. Hey, oh-hey.
ROSS: (entering from Rachel's bedroom) Come on out, honey! I'm telling you look good! (turns around, and under his breath, to the rest of the guys) Tell her she looks good, tell her she looks good.
Chandler: "So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?"
Rachel: Ross, that was a Halloween costume, unless you would like me to go to this thing as Little Bo Peep.
Chandler: Just tell me what I need to do to make things right.
Joey: Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but to lie to me?
Rachel: Because, I wanted to hurt you.
[cut to another clip, this one is from The One With The Prom Video]
Monica: So how does this work, you going to balance the plates on these little guys' heads?
Ross: Okay, (to Chandler) this play, I want you to do a down and out to the right. Okay. Break!
Carol: Look, you don't have to talk to it. You can sing to it if you want.
Joey: (To Chandler) I bet it was about her a little.
Woman on TV: I came to the big city to become a star! Ill do anything to make that happen!
Ross: (He puts his hand over the hole on the box.) (to Chandler) Now, well see.
Rachel: Yeah hon, it cant hurt to put your name down! I mean in if two years if youre not engaged you just dont use it.
Ross: You even have to ask?! (He grabs a lollypop out of a jar) (Sees Rachel) (To Rachel) He is alive!
Monica: Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays!
Monica: (To Joey) Okay, did you hear that?
Ross: well then I didn't need to bother you or the four other Mike Hanagens I bothered.
Monica: We left Joey alone with the food! (Walks towards the window and looks out) Yep! Yep, I knew it! There he is... feeding stuffing to a dog!
Chandler: Nope, nope, Id just ah, Id rather talk to you. (pause) Yes, I do. Yes, I do have to go to the bathroom. (knocks on the door)
Monica: Hello...? Oh hi... Oh my God...! Really...? I can't wait to tell Chandler... Ok, goodbye. (hangs up)
Chandler: What if Mary-Angela comes to the door and I ask for Mary-Angela?
Phoebe Sr: Well, because youd be giving up a baby, and I-I really dontI dont know if theres anything I can say that could make you understand the pain of giving up a baby. So, umm, (Picks up a puppy in the box next to the couch.)
Chandler: (to Ross) "Big guy?"
Phoebe: Umm, well hes very dashing, y'know, and umm, very, very sophisticated, and he doesnt speak any English, but according to his translator, he totally gets me.
Drunk Man: I just want to say that Ross is a wonderful young man.
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Mrs. Geller: Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar...
Phoebe: It's okay to laugh right?
Ross: (to Rachel) I-Im sorry Rach, I didnt know. Are you gonna be okay?
Joey: (to a guy) Bijan for men? (to a guy) Bijan for men? (To a woman) Bijan for... (Sees it's a woman and stops.) (To Annabelle who walks up.) Hey, Annabelle, Uh, listen, I was wondering if maybe after work you and I could go maybe grab a cup of coffee.
Danny: (To them) Hey!
Chandler: Well, maybe I won't kiss you, and then you'll have to stay.
Gunther: (In his head) Say Rachel, I was wondering if youd like to go to a movie with me sometime. As my lover! Nnnsch, to out there. Maybe youd just like to ah, get something to eat with me sometime? As my lover.
Ross: Oh, they'll like me. Once they come to my awesome PAR-TAY! Okay, I gotta run. I gotta go get some nametags. (Exits.)
Chandler: Pheebs! (He goes over and kisses Phoebe, who is also stunned.) Always a pleasure. (And he struts out leaving the girls to stare at each other.)
Phoebe: (starts to walk away, but stops) Dont try to call him or anything, 'cause he's not there, he's out. His umm, his partner just died.
Chandler: Yes, I know, as it happens my room is very very close to the parade route.
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
Amy: You bitch. You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby and your, your small apartment. <directs this to Ross who in turns throws the towel in his hand down on the table> Well let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute.
PHOEBE: I, I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.'
Rachel: Umm, honey, look he just came over to....
[Scene: The fire escape, Joey and Ross are still trying to figure out how to get down.]
Ross: You dont want to believe me, Im Mr. Funny to you. Mr. Funny (turns around and almost spills his coffee on Tommy)
Phoebe: Well isnt he your friend? Dont you want him to be happy?
Rachel: Um, excuse me, everyone. Ah, this is my last night working here, and I ah, just wanted say that I made some really good friends working here, and ah, its just time to move on. (at the counter Gunther starts to cry and runs into the back room) Ah, and no offence to everybody who ah, still works here, you have no idea how good it feels to say that as of this moment I will never have to make coffee again.
Chandler: Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)
Chandler: That would be no. Look, just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom doesn't mean you know her. Alright? Trust me, you can't talk to her.
Rachel: (gasps) Its still there! (The cheesecake they returned to Mrs. Braverman is still lying in front of her door.)
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
Ross: (To Chandler) How about you?
<They go back to fighting and then it really gets on>
Chandler: Then why didnt you tell me to do that?!!
Monica: See? This is exactly why Im making this candy. We can learn their names and get to know our neighbors.
Monica: (entering) Ohh, here you are. Yknow, Im-Im glad you decided to hear me out.
Joey: Just kiddin, Ill talk to them, you distract Rach.
Monica: Oh, I still cant believe my dad saw us having sex! He didnt make it to one of piano recitals, but this he sees!