words in movies
Host: Welcome everybody, welcome to Amazing Discoveries!
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
Joey: (on tv) Oh, you said it Mike. (rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!
Mike: There is a revolutionary new product that guarantees that you'll never have to open up milk cartons again. Meet the Milk Master 2000.
Ross: (to Chandler) Are you intrigued?
Mike: Keep in mind, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (to Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
Joey: (on TV, finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
Janice: Well, let's go to a bad one and make out. (they start to kiss and lean back into Monica.)
Monica: Perhaps, you would like me to turn like this, (turns sideways on the couch) so that you can bunny bump against my back.
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
Phoebe: Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I-I-I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it. (shows him her hand)
Phoebe: Yep, and that's why we don't invite you to play.
Joey: Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents.
Joey: Hang up, hang up. (reaches with his good arm, but Phoebe grabs it and he tries to reach the phone with his other arm but can't because of the sling.)
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Carol: This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it?
(cut to later in the day)
Ross: Give daddy the Barbi! Ben, give, give me the Barbi. Okay, how 'bout, don't you want to play with the monster truck? (makes a monster truck sound) No. Okay, oh, oh, how about a Dino-soilder? (squawks like a dinosaur)
Rachel: Ross, you are so pathetic. Why can't your son just play with his doll? (uses the Milk Master 2000 to pour milk into her cereal)
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) I gotta go to work. Has anybody seen my left boob?
Chandler: Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
Ross: You didn't want to share your tomatoes, tomatoes are very important to you.
Monica: What is it with you people! I mean, the minute you start to feel something, you have to run away?
Chandler: I know, that, (looks at her fake chest, and loses his train of thought, temporarily) that's why I don't want to go tonight, I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid.
Monica: Oh, you mean like that guy thing where you act mean and distant until you get us to break up with you.
Chandler: Look what do I do? I wanna get past this, I don't wanna be afraid of the commitment thing. I wanna go through the tunnel, to the other side!
Ross: (to Joey) Where there is no fear of commitment.
Joey: Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right. But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear. It have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.
Phoebe: (on phone, in 'Katelynn's' voice) 'Hi, I have Phoebe Buffay returning a page. Okay, well, um, she's in her car I'll have to patch you through.'
Phoebe: (in voice, on phone) 'Okay, go ahead.' (in normal voice on phone) Um, hi Annie. (listens) Fantastic! (to Joey) You got it. (on phone) Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, (Joey clears his throat to signify yes) except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next....(hangs up phone) Op, went through a tunnel.
Janice: So, how come you wanted to eat in tonight?
Chandler: 'Cause, I wanted to uh, give you this. (hands her a present)
Janice: Ohhh, are you a puppy! (opens it) Contact paper! I never really know what to say when someone you're sleeping with gives you contact paper.
Chandler: Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. (gives her a drawer) See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser.
Janice: Oh, you didn't have to do this.
Janice: (laughs) I don't think we need to, because you're tripping me out right now! Are you okay?
Janice: You probably want us to move in together?
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Chandler: Oh, no, no, no, don't go! I've scared ya'! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!! (Janice leaves, Chandler then calls Janice to leave a message on her machine) Hey, Janice! It's me. Um, yeah, I-I-I just wanna apologize in advance for having chased you down the street. (runs out the door)
Chandler: So, I finally catch up to her and she says this relationship is going to fast and we have to slow down.
Monica: Welcome to our side of the tunnel.
Monica: You know, when you start get screwed over all the time, you gotta switch to low-fat.
Rachel: This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof.
Monica: She has to know that your not ready.
Rachel: Right. So, what you have to do is, you have to accidentally run into her on purpose. And then act aloof.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is still trying to get Ben to play with something other than the Barbi doll.]
Phoebe: (entering) Helloo! Oh! (sees Joey and starts to leave)
Joey: I'm, I'm okay. See. (tries to smile, but fails horribly)
Joey: No, no, no, see that's why you have to do this job, agents always lie. You know, Estelle just says stuff like 'They went another way', but this, I can use this. (in a very bad Italian accent) I canna work on a new accent.
Janice: (to butcher) No, thank you. (Chandler makes a sound and she notices him) Chandler!
Janice: Okay, you know, one of two things is happening here. Either you're seeing somebody behind my back, which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet. Or, else you're pretending that you're seeing somebody, which just makes you so pathetic that I could start crying right here in the cereal aisle. So like which of these two guys do you want to be? (another guy walks by)
Phoebe: Okay, so we got some more good rejections, lots of stuff to work on.
Joey: Look, it's okay, no, no, no, really, look um, I really appreciate this Pheebs, but I think I'm gonna have to go back to Estelle.
Joey: Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out.
Phoebe: Yeah. Sorry. (she starts to leave)
Joey: Wait a minute, did you just make up all that stuff just to get out of being my agent.
Chandler: (answering phone) Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. (to Monica and Rachel) Okay, what do I do?
Rachel: Shhh...I don't know what to do, this is totally unprecedented.
Ross: Hey, I don't know what to tell you guys that's the doll he chose.
Monica: What are you being such a weenie for? So he has a Barbi, big deal. You used to dress up like a woman.
Monica: Well, you used to dress up in Mom's clothes all the time.
Ross: There was no song. (to Monica) There was no song!
Ross: Okay, that's, that's enough. (retreats to the bathroom)
Young Monica: (entering the shot) Ross!!! (starts to wipe up the spill)
(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table. Ross is upset)
Phoebe: Oh no, don't hate, you don't want to put that out into the universe.
Barry: We can, we can go to Aruba! When I went there on what would have been our honeymoon, it was, uh... it was really nice. You would've liked it.
Rachel: Ohh, gee. I wonder why she thinks youre going to call her?
Ross: Okay, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Phoebe are there, both ready to break up with their significant others.]
Monica: You heard him! "No bigger!" "You're perfect!" "Just don't get any bigger!" Oh my god he sounded just like my high school wrestling coach. You know what? I'm going to have to talk to Chandler.
Kathy: Can I borrow the keys to your apartment?
Joey: Yeah but we wont be able to like get up in the middle of the night and have those long talks about our feelings and the future.
Rachel: How are you? (She goes to kiss him on the cheek, but stops because of the dates and pats him on the shoulder.)
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
CHANDLER: Because sometimes, Phoebe after you sleep with someone, you have to kill the fish.
Ross: I don't know. I could talk to her boss. Yeah! I met him at that Christmas party. We really hit it off.
Chandler: It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. Im going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves; therefore knows how expensive it is. Then when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast Im just gonna propose.
Monica: What if it's new? I mean, we agreed not to talk again, unless we had something really important to say. Shouldn't I call him back?
RACH: Oh, well, that's, that's mighty big of you, Ross. [to the others] I said don't go!
Chandler: Are they end to end, or tall like pancakes?
Amanda: Let’s see.. to assure you get this directly, ring me back on my mobile.
Phoebe: Okay, whatever. Yknow what? I dont have time have time to convince you because hes only here for four hours, and Im gonna go see him! (Gets up and leaves.)
Chandler: Yknow what? I am going to take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers . (Monica doesnt look impressed.) No? Really? They taste so good.
Charlie: Well... I'm just thinking that maybe he's not the right guy to be with right now, maybe I should be with someone... I have more in common with. You know what I mean?
Chandler: I talked to Janice.
Doug: (to Chandler) You! Chuckles! Whats your name?
Joey: (sipping red wine from a glass) Who says that wine has to cost more than milk!
Ross: So, I uhm... kinda need to talk to you about Charlie.
Issac: I can promise not to tell her again.
Ross: Well what is it? Is it a mole? (He moves closer to them, and they jump back.)
EDDIE: Hey man, check it out, I got some great stuff to dehydrate here. I got some grapes, got some apricots, I thought it would be really cool to see what happens with these water balloons.
(Monica goes to the door.� Chandler slides behind it as she opens it slightly.)
Monica: But it didnt. Say hello to Mrs. Chatracus.
Cecilia: But Well now, nows a different time for me. (Starts to cry.)
Chandler: You wanna tell secrets?! Okay! Okay! In college, Ross used to wear leg warmers!
Rachel: All right, fine, but dont get mad at me. Its-its just a little hard to believe.
[Scene: The plane. Rachel's telling her story to the passenger on her left. The one on her left is still wearing his headphones.]
Allesandro: I want to talk to you about your review.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch. A waitress brings a coffee and Phoebe wants to pay.]
Ross: Here. (Hands her, her cough drops) (to Rachel) At least I made ten bucks in my relationship.
Parker: Fine! Well then to quote Ross, "Id better be going."
Monica: (to Phoebe) Quick, take off your dress, he wont notice the bed.
The Stripper: Okay, who are you? The Hardy boys? Look, I dont need to steal some stupid ring, all right? I make $1,600 a week doing what I do; any of you guys make that?
Ross: (just trying to get out of the conversation) Ah well, cant blame a guy for trying!
Monica: Does it have to do with Joey?
Phoebe: It's amazing! You better hurry up and fill out an application or I'm gonna beat you to it.
Joey: It's okay. You know, I totally understand, alright? You guys, make way more sense than her and I ever did, you know. And... I want you to be happy.
Joey: (walking towards her to hold her and support her) Monica, you understand what we are saying, right?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, The One With George Stephanopoulos, Phoebe is showing Monica and Rachel that she brought Operation to their slumber party.]
Jay Leno: (on TV) Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one.
The Director: Hey, lovely! Come, talk to me a minute! (she goes over to him)
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)
Phoebe: Because I think it means more to you.
RACHEL: Did, did he just, did he, did he just say, he said bye. He said bye. You said, you said bye to me. You said bye to me.
Charity guy: Wow! Are you here to make another donation the same day? I don’t think that that’s ever happened before.
Phoebe: Shes right! You have to stop!
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are getting ready to go to the airport.]
Phoebe: Well then, (to Ross) what about you?! Huh?!
Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?
Chandler: Look all I know is when Monica and I went to see them, we had fun! And theres another reason too.
Joey: (annoyed) I dont know! (Goes back to looking through the pipe.) (Pause) Yeah, I do.
Phoebe: No that is the last thing you want to do!
Monica: Oh no-no-no, its only one night a week, and plus I get to take all of you out for a lot of free dinners.
Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone.
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
Chandler: Okay, give me a chance to win my money back. Okay? Sudden death, one goal, $1,000.
Charlie: I don't know what to say, Benji. This is all so.... romantic.
Chandler: Okay, here is the phone bill. (Hands it to Joey.)
Chandler: Ok, I think she's trying to tell us something. Quick, get the verbs.
Rachel: Y�guys ever heard the story about when Rosses mom went to the beauty salon?
Monica: Why dont you just stop doing stupid things? Then you wouldnt have to apologize.
Joey: Just what needs to be done! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman
Monica: I know! I know! I am a terrible person! I mean, Chandler is never going to trust me with anything ever again!
Monica: (pointing to the kitchen) Yeah you will! (Points to the bedroom) And, are you kiddin me?!
Rachel: (to Phoebe) You said she was bald.
Monica: Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not gonna happen. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around.) Don't do the dance.
Monica: Phoebe, she sounded pretty upset to me.
Chandler: No, Im afraid I wont be able to make love as well as him.
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Phoebe: I sang. (To Monica) Hah!
ROSS: (takes the phone, but speaks to Mike) I don't understand what just happened here.
Ross: Im sorry, okay, Im sorry. I wa-I was disgusted with myself, and this morning I was so, I was so upset and then I got your message and I was so happy, and all I wanted was to get her out of my apartment as fast as possible.
Man: So we never got to hear about your wedding!
Ross: No! No! No! The "Come here to me" is y'know for the ladies.
Monica: Well, you could actually go to the gym.
Ross: Yes, we have something we have to get to.
Ross: And confused. Rach, sweetie, I-I um I didnt propose to you.
Ross: Uh, no... no. I couldn't find him. I'm just gonna talk to him on the plane.
Jill: Yknow, thanks for trying to cheer me up, but Im not gonna date some random guy from your work.
Rachel: All right. (She starts to take off her robe) Fine.
Joey: Sometimes I get in here just to get away from it! Hey, a nickel!!
(They both move to kiss again.)
Joey: Good enough to get fired.
Ross: And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas.
Joey: Yeah, I-I just made up the stuff about the wedding because I didnt want you to worry about me. But, Im having surgery today.
Ross: Well, I don't know, it's-it's kinda in a place that's not... It's not visually accessible to me, and I was hoping maybe you guys could-could help me out. (starts to take off his pants)
Emily: (to Ross) Good luck, babe.
Monica: Yknow, you called me that before so I-I took the liberty of fashioning a star out of aluminum foil. Now, no pressure, you like my cookies, you give me the star. (Hands it to her.)
Joey: All rightoh! Listen, I know this is your party, but Id really like to the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there.
Mona: Hi! Hi. Hi, Rachel! (to Ross) Whats she doing here?
Phoebe: You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)