words in movies
Joey: Well, I started building one. But then I decided to take it to the next step.
(Chandler goes to his bedroom and opens the door. However, only the top half opens, and he trips into his bedroom over the bottom half.)
Phoebe: No, I know, Im just nervous. Y'know its just y'know Moms dead, dont talk to my sister, Grandmas been sleeping a lot lately. Its like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. Youre so sweet to wait with me.
Rachel: Well, actually Gunther sent me. Youre not allowed to have cups out here, its a thing. (takes her cup and goes back inside)
Chandler: Well, we have a deal, where we each get to pick five celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one cant get mad.
Chandler: I know, I know, I just always wondered if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head.
Joey: Its just a game Mon. (makes a Can-you-believe-her face to the rest of the gang.) Rach, how about you?
Frank: Yeah, I was thinking that maybe we could go down to Time Square and pick up some ninja stars. And, oh, um, my friend Larry, he wants me to take a picture of a hooker.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, Joey is drilling a hole in the wall and the drill comes out the other side really close to Chandlers head. Chandler then rushes out to talk to Joey.]
Joey: Well, you shouldve told me that before, Im not a mind reader. Hey, were out of beer. Im going to Monicas.
Joey: Oh Monica, listen, I ah, I saw down at the hardware store, they got those designer tiles on sale. If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor.
Monica: I highly doubt that. (they both go to the bathroom)
Joey: Oh yeah. If you ah, move your hamper, you see what color the tile used to be. (Monica gasps) Yeah.
Joey: Relax. Here hold this (hands her his beer). This old stuff just comes right off. (he bends down to try and lift some tile right in the middle of the floor, in his tight pants.)
Monica: Thats a little more than I wanted to see.
Joey: (manages to pry off only a small piece) Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. Itd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. (starts to walk away, but Monica grabs him)
Phoebe: Yeah I know what I wanted to ask you. Um, can you roll your tongue? Because I can, and my Mom couldnt, and I thought y'know, I figured that was something I got from our Dad.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah. You can do it to. (tries to do it, but cant)
Phoebe: Thats the same month as Halloween. So, um, what kinda things do you like to do at home?
Ross: Celebrities Im allowed to sleep with.
Chandler: All right, so who do you got it narrowed down to?
Chandler: Eh, y'know what, shes to political, she probably wouldnt let you do it, unless you donated four cans of food first.
Phoebe: Oh, well um, not right now. Y'know Im just gonna go to bed, I think the fumes are giving me a headache.
Frank: Oh, excellent. (starts to melt the fire extinguishers hose.)
Monica: Oh, we used to drive each other crazy playing the shadow game.
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Monica: Hes retiling my floor. (they both run to the bathroom)
Phoebe: Yeah. (phone rings and Phoebe answers it) Hello. (listens) Oh my God, I totally forgot! (listens) Well cant someone else do it. (listens) But, I have company. (listens) Yeah, no look, thats all right Ill come in. (hangs up phone) Um, Frank, Im really sorry but I have to go to work. Its-its one of my regulars and hes insisting that I do um.
Phoebe: No, no, no, I wouldnt do you myself, I mean that would be weird. Yeah, no, Ill get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this will be so much fun! Hey! Are you excited?
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
Chandler: Hi! Bye! (runs to the bathroom)
[Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebes work), Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.]
Jasmine: Fine. (starts to leave, and points at Frank) I dont like you!! (leaves)
Phoebe: Whatever, its the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyways.
Frank: How-how I like to melt stuff, and how I dislike stuff that doesnt melt.
Frank: Yeah, y'know I feel like I can really talk to you cause y'know youre my sister, y'know.
Frank: Oh come on we went, we went to Time Square, we found ninja stars, I almost got arm broken by a hooker...
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, everyone is there, helping to lift the entertainment center into place]
Chandler: Yeah, I coulda counted to three like four times without all this two talk.
Chandler: Yeah, y'know what I got a better idea. How-how bout it blocks none of mine door and a lot of yours? (throws his shoulder into the center to try and move it, but it doesnt move.)
Rachel: Okay sir, um-mm, let see if I got this right. Ah, so this is a half-caf, double tall, easy hazel nut, non-fat, no foam, with whip, extra hot latte, right? (the guy nods) Okay, great. (she starts to walk away and under her breath) You freak.
Ross: (to Gunther) Thank you.
Isabella: (to Gunther) Um, coffee to go, please.
(Ross recognises her and goes over to the couch, mouthing Oh my God
Ross: Isabella Rosselini. (points to her)
Ross: What you dont think Id go up to her?
Rachel: Ross, it took you ten years to finally admit you liked me.
Rachel: Honey, hes about to go hit on Isabella Rosselini. Im just sorry we dont got popcorn.
Ross: (to Isabella) Hi! Hi, Im Ross, you dont know me, but Im a big, big fan of yours. I mean, Blue Velvet, woo-oo hoo! Um, I was wondering if I could um, maybe buy you a cup of coffee? (Gunther hands her change) Or maybe reimburse you for that one?
Ross: Well, yeah, kinda. Um, but thats okay, see we have an understanding, um, see we each have this list of five famous people, (gets his out) so Im allowed to sleep with you. No, no, no, its flattery.
Isabella: Im sorry. (starts to leave)
Ross: (to the rest of the gang) Were just gonna be friends.
Joey: I bet ya ya I could fit in there. (points to a hole in the center)
Joey: Thank you. Cha-ching! (Chandler starts to leave) Oh, well hello Mr. Lincoln. Better luck next time buddy. (Chandler leaves and closes the door) And the drinks are on me!
Phoebe: Oh...you don't have to go, I have something that will fit you.
INTERVIEWER: So, uh, what are you going to do next?
Ross: Hey, say something to Emma on her 18th birthday!
Ross: Yeah, you didnt expect her to live there with a baby did you?
French Phoebe: Gauze! Gauze! I need to get some gauze in here! Can I please get some gauze in here! (A shell explodes outside next to the tent and when the smoke clears, Phoebe still has her arm.) Whew! (Her arm falls off and starts pumping out blood.) This is getting ridiculous uh!
CHANDLER: How long you been waitin' to say that?
(He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. Hes completely boxed in and cant move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
Rachel: I don't know! I mean, maybe that's something to do with the fact that I saw him do a love scene yesterday.
Ross: Oh, come here sweetie, listen, youre gonna go on like a thousand interviews before you get a job. (she glares at him) Thats not how that was supposed to come out.
(She walks down the aisle with the groomsman. We cut to inside Central Perk, where Phoebe and Chandler are waiting.)
Rachel: Did-did you come up here to work on that term paper or something?
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day, and its just a crush, thats all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, "it was cuckoo!" Everythings going to be fine. Its just a crush.
Phoebe: Ooh, I have to tell you something.
Monica: Ah no, you see, someone was supposed to take them down around New Years... but obviously someone forgot.
(They both go back into their old rooms and shut the doors. Of course, Chandler has to close both sections of his door.)
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
RACH: Why would I have to sleep with you?
Rachel: Oh-oh, Pottery Barn! (Grabs the aforementioned catalog and holds the rest back out to Chandler.) You can throw the rest away.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
>>> Joey's Subconscious So this is going pretty good. dinner was nice, got a lot in common. (Sees a magazine) Victoria's secret huh we even like the same books. (Walks over to a painting on the wall) Oh now there's a scary painting. wait a minute I think I've been scared by that painting before. (Looks around) You know what this whole place look familiar I have definitely been in this apartment I know I've seen this weird plant before (it's a cactus and he touch's it) AWCH! It did that the last time. Oh my god, I've gone out with this girl before yeah we had sex on this couch and then on that chair and no. no we didn't do it hear which is weird because it seems like a perfectly good place.
Rachel: (Brings Marcel a teddy bear) Marcel, this is for you. It's, uh, just, y'know, something to, um, do on the plane.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah. He deserves to do the thing he loves one last time.
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Joey: So what're you going to do?
Ross: Yes. Yes, yes I did. (To Mona) But-but it was, it was just a one night thing. It meant nothing.
Joey: Hey! (starts to laugh.) Hows it going?
[Cut to a close-up of Rachel, eagerly awaiting Ross's arrival... not knowing he is getting off the plane with another woman.]
Ross: What?! That-thats all the way cross town, Im supposed to teach a graduate seminar there in ten minutes.
Joey: All right, all right maybe-maybe you should just ask her to leave.
Rachel: When did you go to a sperm bank?
Ross: (to Chandler) Thats a duck.
Rachel: All right, yknow what? I-Im sorry. I will try to tone it down and uh stop yelling.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
Joey: No! I want an award I did win! But nobodys giving me any of those! PlusHey Rach, if-if I put it up there (Points to the TV) right? When people come over theyll see it and theyll think I won it.
(They run to the bed, sit down, and start making out again.)
Chandler: I'd love to, but it's 2300 hours and I'm about to have the most organized sex anyone's ever had.
Mr. Zelner: Ive asked Lee from human resources to be here as a witness to our conversation.
Ross: It's actually kinda interesting to find out what people are doing... remember Andrea Rich?
Chandler: Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
Rachel: Oh, well, that shouldnt be so hard, now that youre dating. (Imitating men at their worst) "Sweetheart, youre fired, but how bout a quickie before I go to work?"
(The lights dim and Chandler tries to get away but as the bitter lady comes on stage and starts yelling he promptly changes his mind and sits down)
Pete: I got to go, so ah, Ill see you guys later.
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Chandler: Youre arranging flowers! (Pointing to the dish on the table.) You got dead flowers! You got a picture, a picture, of a baby dressed like flowers! This is not Joey!!
Amanda: (to Phoebe) No I distinctly remember you were dodging her (points at Monica) calls and trying to avoid seeing her.
(People start getting up. Ross grabs Carols doll to hold it upside down like a football, slapping it with his other hand.)
(In the meantime, Ross is trying to squeeze and push a rather large chair through the revolving doors of the Ralph Lauren building.)
Ross: And then, you try to make the best of a bad situation, so you float the idea of a threesome?
[cut to later]
Chandler: Is everybody else seeing a troll doll nailed to a two by four?
Ross: Now, if you need to stay late, I want to be supportive of that.
Monica: Yeah! Okay, this one is a mushroom cap. (Points to it.) Umm, this one is made of bologna. (Points.)
Chandler: I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you.
Joey: No, it's just ah, I care so damn much about little Ben that uh, it was more important to see him succeed.
Joey: Im not talking to you! You broke my fridge!
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and the Indians taught the Pilgrims what it meant to be hot in the new world!
Phoebe: Can I borrow the phone? I want to call my apartment and check on my grandma. (to Monica) What's my number?
Phoebe: All right well, we're just gonna have to tell Monica, that's all.
Alice: None. But if there was something you wanted to tell us, were just gonna be right over there (points to the counter) having coffee.
Chandler: (to Ross) Stop that now!
PHOEBE: Hi, um, I just thought that it would be fun if the three of us had some beers and got to know each other.
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh my God. That was so amazing! When did you (pause) Hold on! I almost forgot (she turns to Mike) loser! (back to Chandler) When did you stop sucking?
ROSS: A tattoo? Why, why would you want to do that? [to Rachel] Hi.
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
Ross: Congratulations. (Gets up to leave.)
Ross: Okay, Jasmine, please, please dont. I love my girlfriend very much, and I want more than anything to just work it out with her. Okay?
Rachel: Would you excuse me, please? I'm trying to have a date here.
Rachel: I love him. Hes so pretty I wanna cry! I dont know what to do. Tell me what to do.
Andrea: (turns to a friend) You were right. (They walk off and leave Chandler.)
Annabelle: You bet. (to Joey) Maybe some other time?
[cut to Joey, Rachel, and Tommy.]
Ross: (To Chandler) I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this!
Phoebe: I am shocked! Shocked!! (She storms off leaving Ross to defend himself from the angry looks from onlookers.)
Amy: (touched) Thank you. I've got to admit, Emma does look cute.
Joey: Thanks man. Did you hear that, you guys? You're gonna get to stay here! And, and it's good, you know, 'cause, 'cause now you have a reason to come visit.
Joey: Look, Pheebs, I just, I wanna apologize for, for saying that your method was stupid and-and maybe ask you to be my teacher again. And-and I promise, I won't touch a guitar until you say I'm ready. (After a short pause she hands him her guitar.) You really think I'm ready?
Ross: (He thinks about it) Of course I am. I just have to make a call.
[cut to the end of the play]
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.]
Joey: Thanks for stopping by. See ya! (Throws them out and closes the door.) (To Cecilia) I-I am so sorry. I
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
Rachel: (on phone) Hi, Mindy. Hi, it-it's Rachel. Yeah, I'm fine. I-I saw Barry today. Oh, yeah, yeah he-he told me. No, no, it's okay. I hope you two are very happy, I really do. Oh, oh, and Mind, y'know, if-if everything works out, and you guys end up getting married and having kids- and everything- I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose. (Slams the phone down.) (To everyone) Okay, I know it was a cheap shot, but I feel so much better now.
Monica: I-I-Im sorry, your-your mouth was full, I didnt hear what you said. Umm, hats off to who now?
Chandler: You know, it's very hard to take you seriously when you look like that.
Rachel: (taking off her sweater) Okay umm, Ross? I'm-I'm really warm, so I'm going to be taking off my sweater. Now, I'm just letting you know that this is not an invitation to the physical act of love.
Rachel: That's right! 'Cause that would give him the control! So now he's all ooh, coming up with this whole I've got a party thing y'know, trying to get me to hint around for an invitation. Blew up in his face, didn't it?
Man: Uh, the usher told us to come
[Scene: Rosss, the gang, minus Rachel of course, is there. Chandler is forced to smoke by an open window.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is talking to a beautiful woman as Chandler and Joey enter.]
Chandler: Do you want us to leave the room, or?
Ross: Well Im, Im a little slow. (To himself) Just as our children would be.
Monica: I know the code to his answering machine.
Chandler: Ginger. Im talking to Ginger, so....
Phoebe: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!! So I-I mean so in a few months Im going to have three full grown babies just walkin around inside me?! Oh! Oh! And its gonna be one of those log rides where they just come shooting out!
Janice: Oh yknow what? You have to speak very loudly when youre talking to Sid, because hes almost completely deaf.
Joey: (going over to him) Well?!
[Chandler starts to light a cigarette.]
Phoebe: ( in a soothing voice) Relax every muscle in your body. Listen to the plinky-plunky music. Okay, now close you eyes, and think of a happy place. Okay, tell me your happy place.
Ross: Um, Monica and I arent supposed to play football.