words in movies
Monica: Well that's because you always sleep to noon, silly! This is what 9 looks like.
Monica: Ohh, I've always wanted to go to this culinary fair that they have in Jersey!
(Chandler opens the bathroom door to reveal Joey passed out on the toilet with a toothbrush in his mouth.)
Monica: (entering from her room) Hey, guess what I'm doing this weekend! I'm going to this culinary fair in New Jersey.
Chandler: I'm not in charge of where the conference is held. Do you want people to think it's a fake conference? It's a real conference.
Ross: Is Rachel here? I gotta talk to her.
Ross: I told Emily to come. And I just need to y'know, talk to Rachel about it.
Ross: Well look, I'm just trying to focus on the "I get to see my wife," part, all right? And not the part that makes me do this. (He takes a big swig of Pepto Bismol.)
Joey: Doesnt seem like it's going to work, I mean
(They all agree and head to Monica's room.)
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler is trying to listen through the door.]
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Can you hear anything?
Joey: You don't know how long we're gonna be in here! We may have to repopulate the Earth.
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?
[Cut to the living room.]
Ross: Anyway it-it kinda-it all boils down to this, the last time I talked to Emily
[Scene: Atlantic City, New Jersey, Chandler and Monica are about to start their weekend of sex, sex, nothing but sex.]
(Goes to the bathroom and Chandler turns on the TV and finds a high-speed police chase.)
Monica: No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them! I mean, if they didn't change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change. (He glares at her.) Come on sweetie, I just want this weekend to be perfect, I mean we can change rooms, can't we?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is trying to tell Rachel about Emily's ultimatum again.]
Ross: Hey, so uh, y'know how there's something I wanted to talk to you about?
Rachel: Oh yeah! (Turns to face him.)
Ross: Well, y'know how I'm trying to work things out with Emily. Well, there's this one thing Okay, (Rachel has her back turned to the camera, and Ross isn't looking at her.) here goes. I made a promise that-(they cut to the other camera and Ross notices something coming out of Rachel's nose)-Oh hey!
Rachel: Oh God. (He hands her some tissues.) No! Oh not again! (Wiping her nose.) This-this happened when my grandfather died. It's ugh! Sorry. (She puts her head back.) Oh, okay, so I'm sorry, what-what were you-what did you want to tell me?
Hotel Clerk: I think you'll find this room more to your liking.
Chandler: Okay, great. (He grabs the remote and turns on the TV to the chase.)
Chandler: Half a tank? We still got a lot of high-speed chasing to do!
Hotel Clerk: Our last ocean view room was unacceptable to you.
Monica: (To Chandler) Excuse me, umm, can I talk to you over here for just a second?
Chandler: (turning to face her) Yeah.
Monica: Look, these clowns are trying to take us for a ride and I'm not gonna let 'em! And we're not a couple of suckers!
Monica: Can we turn the TV off? Okay? Do we really want to spend the entire weekend like this?
Chandler: Oh, who should I blame? The nice bell man who had to drag out luggage to 10 different rooms?
Monica: I don't know, how about the idiot who thought he could drive from Albany to Canada on a half a tank of gas!
Monica: We're supposed to uh, be spending a romantic weekend together, it-it, what is the matter with you?
Chandler: I just want to watch a little television. What is the big deal? Geez, relax mom.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading a magazine and has two tissues stuck up her nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding and as she hears Ross enter, she quickly hides her face behind the magazine and removes the tissues.]
Ross: Hey. Rachel, I-I-I've been wanting to tell you something for a while now and I really, I just have to get it out.
Ross: Okay, y'know how you told me I should do whatever it takes to fix my marriage?
Rachel: Yeah, I told you to give Emily whatever she wants.
Ross: is for me not to see you anymore.
Rachel: That's crazy! You can't do that! What are you going to tell her? (Pause) (Realizes) Oh God. Ohh, you already agreed to this, haven't you?
Ross: It's awful I know, I mean, I feel terrible but I have to do this if I want my marriage to work. And I do, I have to make this marriage work. I have too. But the good thing is we can still see each other until she gets here.
Chandler: Uh, no, I got to see Donald Trump waiting for an elevator.
Monica: Yeah. Umm, Chandler can I talk to you outside for a second?
Monica: Oh, it was awful. (To Chandler) I guess some people just don't appreciate really good food.
Monica: Chandler! (Motions for him to come outside.)
Monica: Okay, I'd like to know how much the room was because I'd like to pay my half.
Ross: You should've seen the look on her face. I don't want Rachel to hate me! I don't know what to do.
Joey: You got married to fast.
Ross: I'm going to the bathroom. (Gets up and exits.)
Joey: Man, if anyone asked me to give up any of you, I couldn't do it.
Rachel: Look, I know you guys heard about the whole thing with me and Ross but y'know, I've been obsessing about it all day and I'd just love not to talk about it. All right?
Rachel: (To Joey) Do you even know who Kip is?
Joey: Who cares? You're Rachel! (To Chandler) Who's Kip?
Chandler: Kip, my old roommate, y'know we all used to hang out together.
Rachel: Well, of course I am! It's not gonna happen to Ross! He's your brother. (To Chandler) He's your old college roommate. Ugh, it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on couch and Rachel is getting some coffee. Phoebe keeps turning her head from to keep from looking at Rachel.]
Rachel: Phoebe? (She turns her head further away.) I'm sorry about the whole lifting out thing. (Moves over next to her.) You gotta come with me!
Ross: (entering) Pheebs, you mind if I speak to Rachel alone for a sec?
Phoebe: Oh, sure! (She gets up to leave.) Bye Ross! (Whispering behind his back.) Forever.
Ross: I talked to Monica, look, I'm the one who made the choice. I'm the one who's making things change, so I should be the one to y'know, step back.
Rachel: No, it's not better. I still don't get to see you.
Joey: (entering) (He clears his throat to get their attention.) Hey, Rach? Sorry to interrupt but umm, Phoebe wanted me to talk to you about a trip or something.
Chandler: I just came over to drop off nothing. So that weekend kinda sucked, huh?
Chandler: Well, y'know, you and me, it had to end sometime.
Monica: (laughs) You are so cute! No. No, it was a fight. You deal with it and move on! It's nothing to freak out about.
Monica: Ohh, welcome to an adult relationship! (She goes to kiss him.)
Rachel: Yeah, it's in there. (Points to the bathroom.)
Chandler: Joey, can I talk to you for a second? (He grabs him and starts to drag Joey into Monica's room.)
[Cut to Monica's room, Chandler tackles Joey onto her bed and tries to cover his mouth.]
Joey: (To Chandler) You?! (To Monica) And-and you?!
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Monica: Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell.
Joey: Aww, I don't want to see that!
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Phoebe: We're so stupid! Do you know what's going on in there? They're trying to take Joey!
(They putting their notepads down and get up to leave.)
Phoebe: Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la.
CHANDLER: I was looking forward to playing basketball, but I guess that's out the window.
Ross: Wait a minute, one box! Come on, Im trying to send a little girl to Spacecamp, Im putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you?
Phoebe: (goes over to his desk) Earl! Im Phoebe.
Chandler: Okay (he goes to sit down).
Ross: To London! Come to London. Please? Itll mean so much to me.
Ross: Okay, okay... How exactly is a two month old supposed to appreciate puppets?
Fake Monica: There's nothing to wonder about, Monica. You're gonna go back to being exactly who you were, because that's who you are.
Ross: What am I supposed to do? He's out cold! In fact he was just talking in his sleep before and evidently he wants someone named Fran to spank him harder.
Rachel: Well, I-I know you can do that too. I'm just, I'm just saying if you need somebody to talk to Hi!
Joey: (mad and pointing a finger to himself) JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!
Phoebe: (to her babies) Stop it!
Roy: Well, look - it's not my fault if you're too uptight to appreciate the male form in all it's glory.
Ross: I gotta get to work.
David: Uh no, I have to go in a few hours. I have to be on the red-eye. Well listen, yknow, next time youre in Minsk umm
Ross: (to Ben) Everything okay in there?
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
Mr. Geller: Beautiful! (Turns to watch with him)
Chandler: Hey, relax I just need more time. Were going to dinner tonight.
Monica: Oh, we used to drive each other crazy playing the shadow game.
Monica: Oh my God, I went to high school with her. (to Rachel) Rachel! Hi!
Joey: Uhh, because I'm shooting a scene right now. Yeah, I uh, I play a gladiator. Uh, y'know what? Hold-hold on a second. (To no one in particular) Can we cut? Yeah, my-my friends are here, I'm gonna take a little break.
ROSS: Oh, oh my God, is this the wrong day? I don't believe it, uh, well, hey, I guess if it works out we'll, we'll have something to tell the grandkids.
Ross: Uh, yknow what? Ill tell you who it hurts! It hurts the kid who has all his clothes stolen in gym class so he has to go to the principals office wearing nothing but a catchers mitt!
Phoebe: I mean I guess, I just have to... tell David that nothing can happen between us. Unless I don't... You know, complicated moral situation, no right, no wrong...
Ross: Well, Rachel moving to another country? Not being able to see her every day. How can I be okay with this?
Ross: Oh, we went to see a collection of Victorian doorknobs and the Cupert-Hewitt museum.
Ross: Hey, both you guys should be up there with me. I mean, you two are-are my I mean, Im lucky to have just one good (They all start getting emotional.)
(The gang turn to look at Chandler)
[Scene: The rest stop, Phoebe is on the phone to the motor club.]
JOEY: [uses a dentist mirror to see] Naa, she's lyin'.
Chandler: Great! (to Monica) This baby'd better to be really good.
Rachel: Im fine! Im fine! Im just losing a tooth, its no big deal. I have a dentist! Yknow. Im gonna go put some ice on it. Excuse me. (She goes over to the ice and Joey and Monica follow her.) What do I do now? What do I do now?
Ross: BecDid you not hear me?! Shes an assistant professor in the Linguistics department, okay? Theyre wild! Why do you want to come anyway?
Joey: Oh! My head! Oh! (Hes sitting on the chair, lies back, and puts his feet up for Monica to rub.) Oh!
Dr. Rosen: (Smiling even more and attempting to take over) And I'm his friend, Dr.Rosen.
Joey: Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out.
Rachel: Okay, look, Ross, I realise that my Father is difficult, but thats why you have got to be the bigger man here.
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Pete is talking to Monica about the restaurant.]
Monica: Anyway um, when he left he forgot to take the poem with him. Now, I am like totally dense about poetry, but I think it's pretty good all right. Check it out. (hands them the poem)
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
Chandler: Thank you so much for agreeing to see us.
Joey: No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)
(Ross points to the explanation and he gets it.)
Chandler: Tonight?! (looks at the ring) Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond? (squints at the ring to emphasize how tiny the diamond is) Oh, there it is!
Ross: Okay. I think it's time to change somebody's nicotine patch. (Does so.)
Ross: Do they wait for me to do this?
Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
Monica: Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could- (To Ross) -I'd want yours.
All: Okay! Okay! (They start to leave again.)
Chandler: Okay, bye, champ. Now, I know there's gonna be a lot of babes in San Diego, but remember, there's also a lot to learn.
Chandler: (To Joey) You knew about this?
FBOB: This is really hard for me to say.
Joey: I dunno what to say, Ross. Uh, it's a monkey.
Phoebe: So, are you ready to talk about it?
Chandler: (on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
Pete: So ah, there was this thing I wanted to talk to you about.
(People turn to look)
Joey: You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside!
Frank: (entering with his fianc�e Alice, who is obviously much, much older than he is) Hey! Hey! This is ah, my fianc�e, Mrs. Knight. (he points out Phoebe to her)
Phoebe: All right. If you care enough to make up that load of crap, okay.
Boy: Mommy (He walks over to Sally.)
SUSIE: I'm Susie Moss. Fourth grade, glasses, I used to carry around a box of animal crackers like a purse. CHANDLER: Susie Moss, right, yeah, wow, you look. . . great job growing up.
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!
Ross: No, I mean, look I dont know if anything is going to happen with us, again. Ever. But I dont want to know that it-it never could. So I stopped it and she got mad and broke my projector.
Monica: I read to you.
Rachel: No! You guys cant leave yet! You have to stay, we-we got the whole big thing planned!
Rachel: Oh. (She tries to walk away from Josh, by he keeps holding her) Stop it!
Rachel: Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this monkey, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it!
Ross: Well y'know cause Rachel and I used to go out.
Monica: No, thank you! You have given me so much! I mean, if it wasn't for you, I would never have gotten to sing Memories on the stage at the Wintergarden Theater!
[Cut to inside the apartment, Rachel and Ross are entering.]
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. Well maybe its just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I dont know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. (Chandler is listening in very intensely)
Chandler: To the bathroom!
Phoebe: And! And, theyre gonna have a baby! (The gang is shocked.) And! And, they want me to grow it for them in my uterus. (The gang is stunned into silence.)
(Monica screams, throws the mouse down, and rubs her hands on Rosss sweater to clean them.)
All: Oh, sure. Sure, absolutely. (They just stand there, then realise what he means and go to the other end of the room)
Kiki: And while we're on the subject of news.. (She holds up here finger to show off her engagement ring and they all scream again.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, its the one with the fake chocolate. Monica has baked some cookies and Phoebe is trying them.]
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
(Chandler prepares to play)
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
Phoebe: OK so isn't there a little part of you that wants to get up there?
Ross: Ok, ok. I'm gonna come out to Long Island with you, I mean, you can't be alone right now.
Phoebe: Huh? (Ursula motions for Phoebe to keep quiet.)
Ross: Must pee. (Goes to pee.)
Phoebe: Yeah. Well, we called everyone in your phone book and bunch of people came, but it took us so long to get you here that they-they had to leave.
Monica: (Shouts to the guy) Woo-woo!
MR. TREEGER: [to Rachel who is standing under mistletoe] So, uh, is this, uh, mistletoe?
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
[Cut to Living Room]
Parker: Dahaaa! (Punches Chandler in the arm and he makes a face of pain.) Im going to find the mens room, be right back.
Ross: I find Marions views far to progressionist.
Ross: Mona? (Theres no answer, so he starts to leave but remembers where her extra key is. He reaches atop a hall light just outside her door and grabs the key. He looks at in triumph as the pain from it being hot moves along his nervous system to his brain, and when it arrives his brain orders his hand to drop the hot key and his mouth to squeal in pain. After dropping the key he pulls his shirtsleeve over his hand and uses the key to open the door and enter Monas apartment.) Okay, if I were a salmon shirt, where would I be? (He hears a key in the door and as it opens he dives behind the couch.)
Chandler: Oh, yeah, you have to tell her.
Ross: (reading off his card) "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet." -- How did you know?
Joey: Well I guess I shouldve thought about my wife and kids before I talked back to chef Geller!
Rachel: (entering) Hi. (To Phoebe) Hey, hi! So uh, Frank and Alice wanted me to tell you that they're still outside making phone calls.
Monica: Joey, we had a deal. That-thats why youre here! Ive got to fire you!
Phoebe: Well, you know, if you want fashion help, Rachel and I are going shopping tomorrow. You're more than welcome to come with us, right?