words in movies
Monica: Well that's because you always sleep to noon, silly! This is what 9 looks like.
Monica: Ohh, I've always wanted to go to this culinary fair that they have in Jersey!
(Chandler opens the bathroom door to reveal Joey passed out on the toilet with a toothbrush in his mouth.)
Monica: (entering from her room) Hey, guess what I'm doing this weekend! I'm going to this culinary fair in New Jersey.
Chandler: I'm not in charge of where the conference is held. Do you want people to think it's a fake conference? It's a real conference.
Ross: Is Rachel here? I gotta talk to her.
Ross: I told Emily to come. And I just need to y'know, talk to Rachel about it.
Ross: Well look, I'm just trying to focus on the "I get to see my wife," part, all right? And not the part that makes me do this. (He takes a big swig of Pepto Bismol.)
Joey: Doesnt seem like it's going to work, I mean
(They all agree and head to Monica's room.)
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler is trying to listen through the door.]
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Can you hear anything?
Joey: You don't know how long we're gonna be in here! We may have to repopulate the Earth.
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?
[Cut to the living room.]
Ross: Anyway it-it kinda-it all boils down to this, the last time I talked to Emily
[Scene: Atlantic City, New Jersey, Chandler and Monica are about to start their weekend of sex, sex, nothing but sex.]
(Goes to the bathroom and Chandler turns on the TV and finds a high-speed police chase.)
Monica: No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them! I mean, if they didn't change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change. (He glares at her.) Come on sweetie, I just want this weekend to be perfect, I mean we can change rooms, can't we?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is trying to tell Rachel about Emily's ultimatum again.]
Ross: Hey, so uh, y'know how there's something I wanted to talk to you about?
Rachel: Oh yeah! (Turns to face him.)
Ross: Well, y'know how I'm trying to work things out with Emily. Well, there's this one thing Okay, (Rachel has her back turned to the camera, and Ross isn't looking at her.) here goes. I made a promise that-(they cut to the other camera and Ross notices something coming out of Rachel's nose)-Oh hey!
Rachel: Oh God. (He hands her some tissues.) No! Oh not again! (Wiping her nose.) This-this happened when my grandfather died. It's ugh! Sorry. (She puts her head back.) Oh, okay, so I'm sorry, what-what were you-what did you want to tell me?
Hotel Clerk: I think you'll find this room more to your liking.
Chandler: Okay, great. (He grabs the remote and turns on the TV to the chase.)
Chandler: Half a tank? We still got a lot of high-speed chasing to do!
Hotel Clerk: Our last ocean view room was unacceptable to you.
Monica: (To Chandler) Excuse me, umm, can I talk to you over here for just a second?
Chandler: (turning to face her) Yeah.
Monica: Look, these clowns are trying to take us for a ride and I'm not gonna let 'em! And we're not a couple of suckers!
Monica: Can we turn the TV off? Okay? Do we really want to spend the entire weekend like this?
Chandler: Oh, who should I blame? The nice bell man who had to drag out luggage to 10 different rooms?
Monica: I don't know, how about the idiot who thought he could drive from Albany to Canada on a half a tank of gas!
Monica: We're supposed to uh, be spending a romantic weekend together, it-it, what is the matter with you?
Chandler: I just want to watch a little television. What is the big deal? Geez, relax mom.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading a magazine and has two tissues stuck up her nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding and as she hears Ross enter, she quickly hides her face behind the magazine and removes the tissues.]
Ross: Hey. Rachel, I-I-I've been wanting to tell you something for a while now and I really, I just have to get it out.
Ross: Okay, y'know how you told me I should do whatever it takes to fix my marriage?
Rachel: Yeah, I told you to give Emily whatever she wants.
Ross: is for me not to see you anymore.
Rachel: That's crazy! You can't do that! What are you going to tell her? (Pause) (Realizes) Oh God. Ohh, you already agreed to this, haven't you?
Ross: It's awful I know, I mean, I feel terrible but I have to do this if I want my marriage to work. And I do, I have to make this marriage work. I have too. But the good thing is we can still see each other until she gets here.
Chandler: Uh, no, I got to see Donald Trump waiting for an elevator.
Monica: Yeah. Umm, Chandler can I talk to you outside for a second?
Monica: Oh, it was awful. (To Chandler) I guess some people just don't appreciate really good food.
Monica: Chandler! (Motions for him to come outside.)
Monica: Okay, I'd like to know how much the room was because I'd like to pay my half.
Ross: You should've seen the look on her face. I don't want Rachel to hate me! I don't know what to do.
Joey: You got married to fast.
Ross: I'm going to the bathroom. (Gets up and exits.)
Joey: Man, if anyone asked me to give up any of you, I couldn't do it.
Rachel: Look, I know you guys heard about the whole thing with me and Ross but y'know, I've been obsessing about it all day and I'd just love not to talk about it. All right?
Rachel: (To Joey) Do you even know who Kip is?
Joey: Who cares? You're Rachel! (To Chandler) Who's Kip?
Chandler: Kip, my old roommate, y'know we all used to hang out together.
Rachel: Well, of course I am! It's not gonna happen to Ross! He's your brother. (To Chandler) He's your old college roommate. Ugh, it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on couch and Rachel is getting some coffee. Phoebe keeps turning her head from to keep from looking at Rachel.]
Rachel: Phoebe? (She turns her head further away.) I'm sorry about the whole lifting out thing. (Moves over next to her.) You gotta come with me!
Ross: (entering) Pheebs, you mind if I speak to Rachel alone for a sec?
Phoebe: Oh, sure! (She gets up to leave.) Bye Ross! (Whispering behind his back.) Forever.
Ross: I talked to Monica, look, I'm the one who made the choice. I'm the one who's making things change, so I should be the one to y'know, step back.
Rachel: No, it's not better. I still don't get to see you.
Joey: (entering) (He clears his throat to get their attention.) Hey, Rach? Sorry to interrupt but umm, Phoebe wanted me to talk to you about a trip or something.
Chandler: I just came over to drop off nothing. So that weekend kinda sucked, huh?
Chandler: Well, y'know, you and me, it had to end sometime.
Monica: (laughs) You are so cute! No. No, it was a fight. You deal with it and move on! It's nothing to freak out about.
Monica: Ohh, welcome to an adult relationship! (She goes to kiss him.)
Rachel: Yeah, it's in there. (Points to the bathroom.)
Chandler: Joey, can I talk to you for a second? (He grabs him and starts to drag Joey into Monica's room.)
[Cut to Monica's room, Chandler tackles Joey onto her bed and tries to cover his mouth.]
Joey: (To Chandler) You?! (To Monica) And-and you?!
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Monica: Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell.
Joey: Aww, I don't want to see that!
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Phoebe: We're so stupid! Do you know what's going on in there? They're trying to take Joey!
(They putting their notepads down and get up to leave.)
Monica: I'm sorry, Joey. I'm gonna go to bed, guys.
(cut to later in the day)
Rachel: Chandler, Im not gonna lie to ya, but I am gonna run away from you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
Monica: I'm making cookies for Erica. And oh, by the way, we have to leave for the airport soon, her plane comes in about an hour.
PHOEBE: Ok, I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket, but I uh want to believe you.
Chandler: (to the ticket agent) American Express?
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel enters.]
Ross: (gasps) Hi... There she is. Hi Emma. Oh my God, I missed you. (kisses her) Oh Emma, I missed you so much. Hey... Did you have a good time with grandma Green? Huh? Did she give you a bottle of anti-depressants again to use as a rattle? (to Rachel)
Chandler: We really need to take those tests?
(They come to a door and silently agree to try it. A very sweaty woman emerges)
Ross: You know what, you can go, I just have to fill out some forms. (Tries to hold the pen but cant)
Phoebe: Well, youre just gonna have to try.
Rachel: Oh, come on! He's glad that I came, he doesn't want me to go anywhere, balls flying all over the place!
[cut back to the present.]
Mike: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Is this, hot Rachel, that you took to the Christmas party, Rachel?
Ross: Oh no-no-no! Oh-no! (Emily starts to run out and Ross chases her.) No! No! Emily!
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, we forgot that party we have to go to.
LITTLE BULLY: Well then here's the deal, you won't have to so long as never ever show your faces in this coffee house ever again.
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
Ross: (opening the door to see Mona standing there) Mona? What arehi! What are you doing here? Im, um, supposed to pick you up!
Joey and Chandler: (start to sing) Hey! Happy birthday ...
Joey: Yeah! Okay! (He notices a beautiful woman sitting behind the couch and goes to talk to her.) Hey! Hi!
[Cut to Joey's room, who's going throw his own contractions. Plus, he has Ross in a headlock.]
Joey: Great! All right. Ill see you later. (He starts to leave.)
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldnt. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler.
Joey: You guys got anything to eat? I just went down to Johnos for some chicken and it was closed!
Joey: No! No! No! No, Im not going to punch Chandler.
Phoebe: (to Leslie) Oh, I thought you werent coming. What? Where were you?
Joey: Uh, can I talk to you for a second, over there?
Monica: Look umm, of all people, you do not want me to tell this story!
(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)
Joey: I'm sorry Pheebs, I just, y'know, I just wanted to do a good deed. Like-like you did with the babies.
Ross: No-no, we talked about it. We dont want to know. All we care about is that its happy and healthy.
Chandler: Way to be cool, man.
Chandler: No, its not! When I looked at the other ring I could see Monicas face when I gave it to her, yknow? And I could see her saying yes. When I look at this ring, all I see is a ring! Unless I look at it really closely and then I can see my own eye. (Does so and laughs.) Look, this is the most important thing Im gonna do in my life. I wanna make sure its perfect.
Ross: (To Chandler) You made out with Missy Goldberg. How could you do that, after you promised me?
Monica: (to the couple on her left) So, how about you huh? How do you know the happy couple?
(Chandler silently pleads with Joey to cover for them.)
Rachel: I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you.
(The duck starts to frantically flap his wings, while Joey is holding him, in an attempt to get away.)
Ross: No, no you don't understand the animal hospital is way across town he's choking I don't know what else to do.
Ross: Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good!
PHOEBE: I'm not done yet, OK. God. OK, if that goes well, they may even want to make an album.
Joey: (to everyone) Oh my God! He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! (on phone) Chandler, listen. (says something intentionally garbled)
Ross: No, no. Shes way to emotional. And by emotional I mean crazy.
Joey: If anything should happen to him
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Talk about crap. Try listening to Stella Niedman tell the story of her and Rod Steiger for the hundredth time.
Kathy: Hey. Listen, I want you to know how sorry I am
[Phoebe puts the car in gear and starts to back out.]
Monica: Honey, as we get closer to the wedding, is there anything that you would like to talk about or share?
Joey: Okay, listen, hey, Ross. Why don't you try to relax, okay? Maybe have a drink.
Ross: (To the rest of Central Perk) We're rehearsing a Greek play.
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
[Cut back to the present day.]
Mrs. Green: Well then you really dont need me to live with you.
Danny: I'd love to ask you in, but uh, my sister's visiting and I think she's asleep on the couch.
Monica: Okay, so from now on we have to call you Princess Consuela?
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Rachel: This is easy...Can't do this! (Moves away...and finds her sweater sleeve stuck to the drawer) Oh! Wow! Seriously I can't do this. (Fiddles more)
Joey: Then you hold on to it!!
[Cut to inside.]
Rachel: No, I-I just dont know how you decide who to hire. I mean Ive got it narrowed down to two people. One of them has great references and a lot of experience and then theres this guy
Joey: Really? To what?
Monica: I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers. And there, there are places you can go to get that stuff.
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. I guess we have to eat.
Chandler: Okay, it's his first time out, so he's probably gonna wanna do some of the touristy things. I'll go to Cats, you go to the Russian Tea Room.
RACHEL: Afraid to ask him?
Chandler: (to Nancy) Okay, thanks... (to Monica) They passed. They said they wouldn't go a penny under the asking price.
Rachel: What?! She made the tea! (Points to Monica.)
Rachel: No? (He shakes his head) All right, here's the truth um, Joey said what he said, because um, I'm attracted to you.
Joey: Oh! I forgot you used to live here!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to her father.]
Rachel: Oh, yknow what? I cant. I have to have dinner with that Melissa girl.
Phoebe: Thats easy! You just have to think of him as a-as a jar of pickles that wont open.
Monica: I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but iit-t's true, I love him too.
Rachel: So you know, I I handed in that marketing report and I never got to hear what you thought.
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.
Rachel: I have to go to the bathroom. (Goes to the bathroom)
[We get back to the Class of '91 reunion, where Ross and Chandler are still looking at Missy.]
Rachel: Thanks for lunch, Chandler. Y'know, you didnt have to walk me all the way back up here.
Phoebe: Before I start, I just wanna say that umm, I have a cold, so if I sneeze in the middle of song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People. (Starts to sing) Smelly cat, smelly cat. What are they feeding you? (Stops singing) This chick sounds good. (Singing) Smelly cat, smelly--(stops singing) Hey Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.
Phoebe: Im a lady Monica, I dont kiss and tell. But this hickey speaks for itself. (She starts to open up her blouse.)
Rachel: Oh Im sorry mummys so sorry go back to sleep go back to sleep. Shh. Shhh! Go back to sleep
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Chandler: I never want to leave you again!
PHOEBE: We just have to really, really, really, not let stuff like money get--is that a hickey?
CHANDLER: It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert...Look talk to Monica, she's on the food committee.
(They start trying to trade babies while holding one each. They have no idea how to do it, so they just shift the babies around in their arms. They give up pretty quickly.)
Monica: On three, 1 2 3! (Rachel turns her head on three to avoid the drops.) Now my pillow's all wet! (She was trying to fool Rachel and squeezed the eyedropper.)
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
Gunther: That guy (points) has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! Hes complained about you three times! (He hands the coffee cup to Joey, assuming that Joey will deliver it and walks away.)
Rachel: Oh. Oh. Well there you go. Whew! (Pause) That isthats greatthat is really great-great news. (Pause) Yknow cause the whole not being ready and kinda the financial aspects, all that. Whew. Wow, this is so just the way it was supposed to be. (Starts to cry.) God.
Monica: Because I know that you think the lottery is "boohaki" but we're all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.
Joey: Wait up! (They both run to the bathroom.)
Frank Sr.: Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more!
Ross: (to the second girl) That was very nice Ashley.