words in movies
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, she is frantically working and is handing two finished dishes to a waitress.]
(Phoebe turns to leave but notices an attractive man.)
Phoebe: (To him) Oh, well hello there.
Phoebe: (To Monica) I didnt see this on the menu.
Monica: All right, all right! Lets just cut to the chase, okay? (To Phoebe) Youre single. (To Tim) Youre single. (To Phoebe) He gets off work at eleven. (To Tim) Shell be waiting for your call. (To Phoebe) Ill give him your number if I can get one calamari and one Caesar salad!! (Everyone in the kitchen stops.) I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar.
Chandler: Hey thats okay. So, where do you want to go?
Ross: Oh ah, I think you know where I want to go.
(They go out to the elevators.)
Chandler: Oh its been going on way to long now. Yknow, I mean the first time he said it we were just passing each other in the hallway, so I didnt say anything. And then the next time he said, "Hey Toby, do you want a donut?" And I-I wanted a donut. And now its five years later, the donuts gone and Im still Toby.
Ross: Five years?! Chandler you have to tell him!
Joey's Co-Star: We would, but when we went to exhume Jessicas body, it was gone.
Joey: (To Rachel) Okay, let me just get changed and we can go to dinner.
Rachel: Well dontWhat happened to Jessicas body?!
Joey: Im not telling, youll have to see it on TV!
Rachel: Oh! (Motions to Joeys co-star.)
Joey: (grabbing her) Here we go! Here we go! (Starts to pull her away from Kash.)
Rachel: Say hi to Wally.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I had the best time with Tim last night. He is so sweet! Oh, I cant wait to get sous-neath him.
Monica: I I have to fire him.
Phoebe: Well maybe he was just nervous, yknow you can be very intimidating. And besides Ive met your pastry chef and she can stand to be taken down a peg or two.
Monica: I paid to have this done.
Rachel: Okay, you go do it! Ill come back to that set! Ill meet more actors! Ill meet em all!
Mr. Franklin: What do you think of adding him to our team?
Mr. Franklin: But we really do need to find someone up here. The work is starting to pile up. Ive got a stack of documents on my desk this high. (Holds his hand at shoulder level.)
Chandler: What does a guy have to do to be taken seriously around here?!
Monica: Hey. Okay, I gave him another chance, but Tim has got to go!
Monica: No! No-no! He is totally incompetent. I called the chef who recommended him to me. He said, "Ha-ha! Gotcha!"
Monica: What? So now Im not allowed to fire him?
Monica: Okay well, then well both do it today and hell just have to deal with it!
Monica: I wanted to do this days ago so I think I should go first.
Bob: I just had a meeting, I was actually hoping to get transferred up here, but I just found out its not gonna happen. Apparently somebody thinks Im not eleventh floor material. Say uh, who the hell is this Chandler?
Ross: So, what do you want to do tonight? Theres a Ukrainian film at the Angelica thats supposed to be very powerful. Interested?
Joey: Hey! Im an (does the quote-marks thing as well) actor too! Im not sure. I think theyre taking the ferry out to some Italian place on Staten Island.
Kash: Hey Rachel! You ready to go?
Tim: Whoops. Sorry. (Looking at it, like a newscaster) This just in. (Phoebe fake laughs.) Oh, its 9-1-1 from the restaurant, that means Monica needs me right away. (Starts to leave.)
Tim: Awww, Ill miss you too Pheebs. (Starts to leave) And I will be holding you, right here. (Holds his hands over his heart, blows a kiss to Phoebe who catches it, and then leaves and Phoebe throws the kiss back.)
Joey: So what movie do you want to seeAnd not another one I have to read. Okay? I get enough of that from books.
Joey: And just wait for Rachel to come back from her date?
Ross: Hey, if thats what you want to do Im not gonna say no.
Ross: I just I have to find out how it went.
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
Ross: It used to be. Now she doesnt really have a face. Smokin body though.
Ross: No, its not what I want either. I mean I-I cant force myself to fall in love with her again now.
[Scene: Outside Chandlers Office, Chandler is just about to go into his office when Bob calls for him from behind.]
Bob: I want to talk to that bastard, see what his problem is.
Tim: Wow! Umm, okay. Umm (To Phoebe) I-I-I realize I came on a little strong but, its only because I think youre so amazing. (To Monica) And uh, I-I just wanna, I just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity here because Iyoure the most talented chef Ive ever worked for. Anyway (Starts to leave and Phoebe and Monica trade looks.)
(He kisses her on the cheek and heads to Central Perk.)
(Ross continues to talk to her as the camera pans to show Rachel standing in the doorway.)
(Rachel watches that and slowly backs out to head for home.)
Dedicated to the Memory of Richard L. Cox, Sr.
(He thinks about it and decides to join in by turning over a chair and continue ransacking the place.)
Danny: (To them) Hey!
Chandler: Well, maybe I won't kiss you, and then you'll have to stay.
Gunther: (In his head) Say Rachel, I was wondering if youd like to go to a movie with me sometime. As my lover! Nnnsch, to out there. Maybe youd just like to ah, get something to eat with me sometime? As my lover.
Ross: Oh, they'll like me. Once they come to my awesome PAR-TAY! Okay, I gotta run. I gotta go get some nametags. (Exits.)
Chandler: Pheebs! (He goes over and kisses Phoebe, who is also stunned.) Always a pleasure. (And he struts out leaving the girls to stare at each other.)
Phoebe: (starts to walk away, but stops) Dont try to call him or anything, 'cause he's not there, he's out. His umm, his partner just died.
Chandler: Yes, I know, as it happens my room is very very close to the parade route.
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
Amy: You bitch. You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby and your, your small apartment. <directs this to Ross who in turns throws the towel in his hand down on the table> Well let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute.
PHOEBE: I, I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.'
Rachel: Umm, honey, look he just came over to....
[Scene: The fire escape, Joey and Ross are still trying to figure out how to get down.]
Ross: You dont want to believe me, Im Mr. Funny to you. Mr. Funny (turns around and almost spills his coffee on Tommy)
Phoebe: Well isnt he your friend? Dont you want him to be happy?
Rachel: Um, excuse me, everyone. Ah, this is my last night working here, and I ah, just wanted say that I made some really good friends working here, and ah, its just time to move on. (at the counter Gunther starts to cry and runs into the back room) Ah, and no offence to everybody who ah, still works here, you have no idea how good it feels to say that as of this moment I will never have to make coffee again.
Chandler: Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)
Chandler: That would be no. Look, just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom doesn't mean you know her. Alright? Trust me, you can't talk to her.
Rachel: (gasps) Its still there! (The cheesecake they returned to Mrs. Braverman is still lying in front of her door.)
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
Ross: (To Chandler) How about you?
<They go back to fighting and then it really gets on>
Chandler: Then why didnt you tell me to do that?!!
Monica: See? This is exactly why Im making this candy. We can learn their names and get to know our neighbors.
Monica: (entering) Ohh, here you are. Yknow, Im-Im glad you decided to hear me out.
Joey: Just kiddin, Ill talk to them, you distract Rach.
Monica: Oh, I still cant believe my dad saw us having sex! He didnt make it to one of piano recitals, but this he sees!
Amy: Humpf, remember him? How we used to make out all the time after you went to sleep.
Rachel: (to the judge) Okay, do you see, do you see what youre keeping me married too?!
Rachel: Thank you. (She goes to take off her make-up and screams in pain) Oww!!!! God!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, there is a knock on the door and Ross opens it to Cassie.]
(They all run over to the window.)
Joey: Well, we have to say something! We have to get it out! Its eating me alive!! Monica got stung by a jellyfish.
RACHEL: Oh yeah. Well, at least I wasn't too chicken to tell some guy I thought he was cute.
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
Monica: No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them! I mean, if they didn't change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change. (He glares at her.) Come on sweetie, I just want this weekend to be perfect, I mean we can change rooms, can't we?
Chandler: This is not going to work.
Phoebe: No...I really wanted to know how you feel about it.
[Scene: Rachel's new job, she's in her new boss's office (Kim's) and with the other assistant (Nancy). Together they're deciding what clothes to buy or something, who knows, let's all watch/read to find out.]
[Scene: Howard's party, Phoebe is talking Ross up to two more partygoers. Ross isn't happy about it.]
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment.Chandler walks in to see Eddie holding a tray of cookies.]
Dr. Long: Huh. Nice to meet you. Ill get started on this.
Joey: (to Chandler) Why would he turn off the TV? (Chandler shrugs.)
[Rachel comes out of her apartment, followed by Mark, and they leave on their date, without saying a word to Ross. Ross is stunned.]
Monica: All right, listen youre just being silly. Rachel, even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls in school and everyone wanted to be like you. One girl wanted to be like you so much she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll!
Rachel: No, no Phoebe no, I was...no. You know what, I was, I was actually just checking to, see, if I could run. And I can!
Ross: Well, Im sorry, but ah, look if youre not working with him anymore, why do you have to still do stuff with him?
Chandler: No, but Horny for Monica Minister called, wanting to know if we were still together.
Ross: Shes fine. She doesnt know youre gone. And she doesnt have to know, okay? Now come on, were going home.
Phoebe: This is going to be so much fun! Okay-shhh, I have to finish.
Chandler: Ok, you're going to have to stop that, forever!
Rachel: All right, you guys, I kinda gotta clean up now. (They all start to leave.)
MNCA: And for our two-week anniversary, he's gonna take me to his cousin's cabin for the weekend.
Phoebe: Ohh, Im getting too pregnant for this, lugging around a stupid massage table. Yknow, I have to find a job where I carrying a smaller table. (She goes over and stands in front of the TV.)
Monica: She has to know that your not ready.
Joey: I dont want to. You do it!
PHOEBE: Alright, here, you have to hold this. [hands Chandler a piece of paper]
(Chandler starts to leave ashamed of himself, but Rachel stops him in the hallway.)
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
Phoebe: (To Rachel) You completely stole my answer!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Sorry I'm late, but I left late.
Rachel: (Into the phone) Hello? (announces to Amy) Oh, it's our nanny! (goes back to the phone conversation) Hi! Oh... God! I hope you feel better! Ok, bye! (Hangs up) (To Ross) That's Molly, she's sick. Can you watch Emma today?
Joey: Ha-ha-ha, very funny. Look, I dont know what to do! (Long pause, as everyone cracks up.)
Ross: Well you shouldnt be. Believe me I wouldnt want to be the guy whos up against you. (Chandler laughs.) I mean that doofus is going to lose!
Ross: (stops her) Wait uh, listen. I-I, I have to tell you something. Umm, Ive been thinking, Im just gonna come out and say it. Okay? I-I-I ah, I-I think I love you.
[Scene: Mattress King, Monica is trying to return her bed.]
Ross: (looks) Oh yeah! You'rehey, you're right! Here's an affordable place, (reading ad) two bedroom, close to work, ooh, it's available in five weeks!
(They start to go into Monica and Rachels, their apartment is filled with all of the old Christmas trees from Joeys work.)
Phoebe: Well, on the bright side, now you won't have to see all these paleontologists with their shirts off. (Grabs a drink and notices that the two men are upset) Not you guys. You got it going on!
Chandler: Well, then, I might as well offer to stay.
Ross: Ah Ah Get out of here! (The couple retreats. Ross starts looking through the previously mentioned book as a beautiful woman walks into the section.) Uh, meeting someone? Or-or are you just here to brush up on Marions views on evolution?
Tag: Okay! Feel free to look, but Im telling you those contracts are not on this desk.
Monica: Umm, I-I really don't want to tell this story.
Rachel: (starts singing la la la la) Whatever happened to just singing for no reason? Huh?
Rachel: (laughs) You ah, you didnt say Yes to that did you?
Joey: Nah, Im too depressed to eat. Ill probably eat in like 5 minutes. So I guess Ill just fly home with you guys, what times your flight?
Monica: Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.
Janice: All right, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, we've got to do something about our little situation here Joey. So, this is my idea: you and me spending some quality time together.
Chandler: Its not something to be proud of, okay? You have to go to a sleep clinic!
MONICA: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
Chandler: Well, close to (Notices Rachel leaning in to hear and decides to write it on a piece of paper and hand it to Monica as Phoebe averts her eyes.)
Ross: (whispering in her ear) Oh, thats right! He called to ask out Monica! That-thats gotta be embarrassing!
Chandler: (looking around) Did I go to this school?
Joey: Look, you guys have been to every play Ive ever been in, have I ever had chemistry on stage?
Chandler: Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Yknow, for you, and (Clears his throat) I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. (Points up and then over to the street)
Joey: Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.
Chandler: So I was right. This is what it feels like to be right. (Pause) Its oddly unsettling.
Joey: Umm, now uh Its a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Yknow, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Joey: Oh yeah, Smokey Joe here got half way to the highway and collapsed.
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Joey: Please I have an extremely high threshold...Holly Mother Of God! My face! My face!! I'm all right! I'm all right!Just a little bit of shock that's all but I'll be fine you can go again. I'm OK(He tries to avoid the tweezers) Dammit! Woman!! How Hoooow!
Ross: I love you. (goes to kiss her and she turns away.)
Chandler: David, I'm pretending to read here!!
ROSS: [to Joey who's looking over a toilet stall] Joey, some people don't like that.
Chandler: Hey, look, I know what it is to be a friend, I just-I just screwed up!
[Scene: Ross's building's lobby, he and Rachel are about to attempt to take the couch upstairs.]
Chandler: Phoebe is going to say "yes"? That's, that's great!
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Is that Joey?! (She nods yes) Let me talk to him!
Rachel: Oh, sure! Do you need me to train somebody new?
Monica: Hey, maybe I'll drive you up there! I'd like to buy some tickets myself!
Phoebe: I love you. But I never needed a proposal from you. I just needed to know that we were headed somewhere, you know, that we had a future.